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To Care For Someone Can Mean To Adore Them, Feed Them, Tend Their Wounds. But Care Can Also Signify Sorrow, As In "bowed Down By Cares." Or Anxiety, As In "careful!" Or Investment In An Outcome, As In "who Cares?" The Word Love Has No Such Range Of Meaning: It's Pure Acceptance.

-Martha Beck

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To Care For Someone

Martha Beck

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To Care For Someone Can Mean To Adore Them, Feed Them, Tend Their Wounds. But Care Can Also Signify Sorrow, As In "bowed Down By Cares." Or Anxiety, As In "careful!" Or Investment In An Outcome, As In "who Cares?" The Word Love Has No Such Range Of Meaning: It's Pure Acceptance.

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This Is The Part Of Us That Makes Our Brief, Improbable Little Lives Worth Living: The Ability To Reach Through Our Own Isolation And Find Strength, And Comfort, And Warmth For And In Each Other. This Is What Human Beings Do. This Is What We Live For, The Way Horses Live To Run.

When Fear Makes Your Choices For You, No Security Measures On Earth Will Keep The Things You Dread From Finding You. But If You Can Avoid Avoidance - If You Can Choose To Embrace Experiences Out Of Passion, Enthusiasm, And A Readiness To Feel Whatever Arises - Then Nothing, Nothing In All This Dangerous World, Can Keep You From Being Safe.

Dangerous World

Instead Of Fretting About Getting Everything Done, Why Not Simply Accept That Being Alive Means Having Things To Do? Then Drop Into Full Engagement With Whatever You're Doing, And Let The Worry Go.

You're Exactly Where You're Meant To Be, Meandering Along A Crooked Path.

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The Only Map Of Your Right Life Is Written On Your Soul At Its Most Peaceful, And The Only Sure Compass Is Your Heart At Its Most Open.

Everything Always Passes, And Everything Is Already Okay. Stay In The Place Where You Can See That, And Nothing Will Resist You.

The Really Potent Part Of Love Is That It Allows You To Carry Around Beliefs About Yourself That Make You Feel Special, Desirable, Precious, Innately Good. Your Lover Couldn't Have Seen [these Qualities] In You, Even Temporarily, If They Weren't Part Of Your Essential Being.

Recurrent Floods Of Sadness And Anger Gradually Wash Away The Rubble Of The Defunct Relationship, Leaving Only The Bits Of Treasure: The Remembered Moments Of Real Communion, A New Understanding Of Your Own Mistakes, A Clear Picture Of The Dysfunctions You Will Never Tolerate Again.

You Will Never Realize Your Best Destiny Through The Avoidance Of Fear. Rather, You Will Realize It Through The Exercise Of Courage, Which Means Taking Whatever Action Is Most Liberating To The Soul, Even When You Are Afraid.

All Religious Leaders And Spiritual Teachers Emphasize Finding A Place Within Us That Is True. People Who Obsessively Follow These Leaders Instead Of Their Own Purpose Attach To The Spiritual Leader And Become Fanatical And Controlling. That's Why Jesus Tried To Tell His Followers Not To Get Attached To Outward Form.

Creating Ways To Be Happy Is Your Life's Work, A Challenge That Won't End Until You Die.

If You Think There Is No Action That You Can Perform In Your Current Circumstances That Will Increase The Supply Of Love In The World, You Are Believing A Lie. At The Very Least, You Always Have The Option To Offer Yourself Kindness And Understanding. That Alone Can Increase The Supply Of Love In The World.

The Moment We Begin Tolerating Meanness, In Ourselves And Others, We Are Using Our Authorial Power In The Service Of Wrongdoing. We Have Both The Capacity And The Obligation To Do Better.

You Are Lovable. Can You Show Me Any Baby In Any Nursery Who Isn't Priceless? No. There's No Such Thing As A Worthless Newborn. And The Essential Value That Was Born Into Brand-new-baby You Can Never Be Extinguished. This Means That Even If You Think You're Being Absolutely Honest, Believing Yourself To Be Anything Other Than Astonishing, Incomparable, And Infinitely Precious Makes You A Habitual Liar.

It's Only By Starting In A Place Of Peace That We Find Our Purpose And Power.

Places Of Peace

People Who Get What They Want Tend To Be The Ones Who Make The Effort To Know What They Want.

Play Until It's Time To Rest, Then Rest Until It's Time To Play.

Most Unhappy People Need To Learn Just One Lesson: How To See Themselves Through The Lens Of Genuine Compassion, And Treat Themselves Accordingly.

Don't Let Your Life Revolve Around Whatever You're Trying Not To Do Or Feel. Live To Experience, Not To Avoid.

Anger Elicits Anger, Fear Elicits Fear, No Matter How Well Meaning We May Be.

To Follow Your Life's Guidance, You May Have To Reassign Some Seemingly Important Things To 'unimportant.' If You Believe That Pleasing Your Horrible Boss Or Having A Spotless House Is A Higher Priority Than Playing With Your Children Or Sleeping Off The Flu, Be Prepared For A Long And Strenuous Battle Against Destiny. Also, Be Prepared To Lose.

If A Problem Looks Difficult, Relax. If It Looks Impossible, Relax Even More. Then Begin Encouraging Small Changes, Putting Just Enough Pressure On Yourself To Move One Turtle Step Forward. Then Rest, Savor, Celebrate. Then Step Again. You’ll Find That Slow Is Fast, Gentle Is Powerful, And Stillness Moves Mountains.

Sometimes A Psychic Tells You Something And It Feels Wrong And Others May Be Right On The Money. It's Your Choice About Whom To Trust, And Giving That Trust Is Something We Do Ourselves.

What Would You Do If You Knew That Every Good Thing In Your Life Depended On Your Getting Enough Rest? Because It Does.

If You Feel Stuck In Your Present Life, If You Feel No Enthusiasm For Anything, If You Think You Have No Purpose Or That You Lost That Purpose Somewhere Along The Way, I Guarantee You Are Living In A Dungeon Made Of Stories. And That None Of Those Limiting Stories Are True.

Though We Often See Life Troughs As The Universe's Conspiracy To Ruin Us, They're Actually Our Own True Nature Inviting Us To Lay Down Our Weary Heads.

Denial Exists Because Human Infants, Though Equipped With Trust-o-meters, Are Built To Trust, Blindly And Absolutely, Any Older Person Who Wanders Past.

In The Moments I Get It Right, Every Step I Take Seems To Be Matched By A Universal Mystery, Which Obligingly, Incredibly, Creates What I Can't.

By The End Of Your Incredibly Arduous, Disappointing, Stressful Journey, You Will Be Your True Self, In A Place Where You Belong, With Friends Who Truly Understand You And Bring All Sorts Of Opportunities Your Way.

Standards Of Beauty Are Arbitrary. Body Shame Exists Only To The Extent That Our Physiques Don't Match Our Own Beliefs About How We Should Look.

At Times In My Life, I Have Been Utterly Lonely. At Other Times, I've Had Disgusting Infectious Diseases. Try Admitting These Things In Our Culture.

A Joyful Life Isn’t About Others; It’s About The Brightness That Is Associated With Being Alive. Your Path To It Is Through Anything That Replaces Thinking With Pure Flight, Pure Joy.

If We're Stuck With Having Expectations, There's A Very Good Reason To Embrace Positive Ones: It's That We Often Create What We Anticipate.

The Only Way To The Place Beyond Fear Is To Do The Thing You Fear Most. This Is How To Surrender To Your Best Destiny.

Most Of Our Stress And Suffering Come Not From Events, But From Our Thoughts. Reframe From Negative Thoughts, And Stress Subsides.

As Much Horror As We Have Always Created, We Are A Species That Keeps Moving Forward, Seeing New Sights In New Ways, And Enjoying The Journey.

If Anything Is Worth Doing, It Is Worth Doing It Badly.

I Practice Staying Calm All The Time, Beginning With Situations That Aren't Tense.

I Have Come To Believe That There Are Infinite Passageways Out Of The Shadows, Infinite Vehicles To Transport Us Into The Light.

No One Else Can Take Risks For Us, Or Face Our Losses On Our Behalf, Or Give Us Self-esteem. No One Can Spare Us From Life's Slings And Arrows, And When Death Comes, We Meet It Alone.

Imagine What You'd Do If It Absolutely Didn't Matter What People Thought Of You. Got It? Good. Never Go Back.

Adults Under Threat Feel Like Children.

You Do Not Owe Anyone Your Time. When You Realize That, Others Will Respect Your Time Much More.

There Has Never Been, And Never Will Be, Anyone Who Sees, Thinks, Or Responds Exactly The Way You Do. Whether You’re Revolutionizing Physics Or Making A Quilt, You Must Display Your Differences To Make A Difference.

Question Every Thought That Causes Suffering And Test It Against Your Own Sense Of Truth.

The Process Of Spotting Fear And Refusing To Obey It Is The Source Of All True Empowerment.

There's Tons Of Magic In The World, And It's All Science.

Magic In The World

When Making A Decision, Focus On What Feels "shackles Off" Versus "shackles On".

Rest Until You Feel Like Playing, Then Play Until You Feel Like Resting, Period. Never Do Anything Else.

Polite Strangers Often Tell Soothing Lies About Our Physical Appearance That Prevent Many Of Us From Facing, Discussing And Solving Our Real Problems.

Tiny Steps Will Get You To Your Goal Months And Months Sooner. A Little Is Better Than A Lot.

I Want You To Be Supervised, All Day Every Day, By People Who Forgive Your Errors And Believe In Your Destiny.

Remember That It’s Okay To Ask For Help When You’re Stumped, Because Sometimes You Really Can’t Be Expected To Handle Everything Alone.

Perpetually Doing, Without Ever Tuning In To The Center Of Our Being, Is The Equivalent Of Fueling A Mighty Ship By Tossing All Its Navigational Equipment Into The Furnace.

Remember, Intimacy Increases With Honesty. Share Less To Keep People Away And More To Draw Them Closer.

If You Ask People, As I Often Do, How They Make Decisions, 'lucky' People Will Talk About Tuning In To Information And Instincts, While 'unlucky' People Often Mention Pushing Away The Uncomfortable Feeling They Were Headed For Trouble.

Uncomfortable Feeling

Welcoming Imperfection Is The Way To Accomplish What Perfectionism Promises But Never Delivers. It Gives Us Our Best Performance And Genuine Acceptance In The Family Of Human -- And By That I Mean Imperfect -- Beings.

I Have Discovered That Many Of The Things I Thought Were Priceless Are As Cheap As Costume Jewelry, And Much Of What I Labeled Worthless Was, All The Time, Filled With The Kind Of Beauty That Directly Nourishes My Soul... Now I Think That The Vast Majority Of Us "normal" People Spend Our Lives Trashing Our Treasures And Treasuring Our Trash. We Bustle Around Trying To Create The Impression That We Are Hip, Imperturbable, Omniscient, In Perfect Control, When In Fact We Are Awkward And Scared And Bewildered.

Slow Is Fast, Gentle Is Powerful And Stillness Moves Mountains

I'm Not Saying We Have Power Over Everything In Our Lives - If That Were True, My Hair Would Look So, So Different - But I Am Saying That There's No Circumstance In Which We Are Completely Powerless.

The Shortness Of Life, Which We All Discuss, But Which Is Very Clear To Me At The Moment, Makes Keeping And Spreading A Joyful Peace More Crucial Than Ever Before. Let Us Keep Our Minds On What Matters, Which Is Our Work, Which Is Astonishment And Gratitude. From This Quiet Magic Comes A Power For All Other New Years Wishes To Come True.

Breathe In, Breathe Out, No Fear, No Doubt.

If You'd Rather Live Surrounded By Pristine Objects Than By The Traces Of Happy Memories, Stay Focused On Tangible Things. Otherwise, Stop Fixating On Stuff You Can Touch And Start Caring About Stuff That Touches You.

It Isn’t Necessary To Know Exactly How Your Ideal Life Will Look; You Only Have To Know What Feels Better And What Feels Worse…begin Making Choices Based On What Makes You Feel Freer And Happier, Rather Than On How You Think An Ideal Life Should Look. It’s The Process Of Feeling Our Way Toward Happiness, Not The Realization Of The Platonic Ideal, That Creates Our Best Lives.

Make A Plan To Change The World. For One Night, Don't Disbelieve That You Can.

The Part Of You That Is Unhampered By Illusion-the Illusion Of Time, The Illusion Of Powerlessness, The Illusion Of Impossibility-i S Waiting For You To Slow Down And Open Up So That It Can Speak To Your Consciousness. In Some Unguarded Moment, You Will Hear Its Wildly Improbable Words And Know That They Are Guiding You Home.

I Am Free, And Always Have Been; Free To Accept My Own Reality, Free To Trust My Perceptions, Free To Believe What Makes Me Feel Sane Even If Others Call Me Crazy, Free To Disagree Even If It Means Great Loss, Free To Seek The Way Home Until I Find It.

Menders Of All Times And Places Have Taught That Silencing The Thoughts In Our Heads And Opening To The Experience Of The Body And Emotions Is The Basis Of All Healing. It's The Only Means By Which We Can Reclaim Our True Nature Or Feel The Subtle Cues Telling Us How To Find Our Way Through Life.

Your Life Is Not Little, And Your Playing Small Doesn’t Serve The World. Your Living Large, On The Other Hand-your Being Your True Self Despite Fear, Fatigue, Doubt, And Opposition- Will Serve The World More Than You Can Imagine. In Fact, It May Help Save It. And Saving The World, After All, Is What All Heroes (including You) Are Here To Do.

To Make An Activity Joyful, Keep Adding Things Until The Activity As A Whole Becomes More Appealing Than Repulsing.

Forcing Yourself To Think Happy Lies Doesn't Heal Your Dreams. Getting To The Truth Does.

Don't Expect The Future To Look Like The Past. Clear Away Expectations, And Let Yourself Picture A Wild, Grand New World.

We Can’t Save Ourselves From Fear By Seeking Safety, Because Safety Always Means There’s Something To Be Safe From-in Other Words, Something To Fear. The Way Out Of Fear Isn’t Safety. It’s Freedom.

My Anguish Came From My Hypothesis That Other People's Hypothetical Hypotheses About Me Mattered. Ridiculous!

Having Fun Is Not A Diversion From A Successful Life; It Is The Pathway To It.

Your Life Follows Your Attention. Wherever You Look, You End Up Going.

Be Brave Enough To Turn Away From Shiny Objects, And Toward The Light That Makes Them Shine.

Don’t Worry That You’ve Wasted Time. Each Moment -- No Matter How Frozen Or Confused -- Was A Useful And Necessary Lesson.

Stop Fixating On Stuff You Can Touch And Start Caring About Stuff That Touches You.

If You're A Bit Spongy, Vulnerable To The Unsettling Energy Of Others, Count Yourself Lucky. You've Been Given An Incentive To Armor Up, To Consciously Screen Out The Ubiquitous Stresses That Afflict Humanity.

When You Do The Thing You Fear, The Thing Loses Its Power To Scare.

Although Beauty May Be In The Eye Of The Beholder, The Feeling Of Being Beautiful Exists Solely In The Mind Of The Beheld.

Absolutely Lonely People Have Few Personal Interactions Of Any Kind.

The Important Thing Is To Tell Yourself A Life Story In Which You, The Hero, Are Primarily A Problem Solver Rather Than A Helpless Victim. This Is Well Within Your Power, Whatever Fate Might Have Dealt You.

Just One Mental Shift-focusing On The Abundance Of Your Environment-switches Your Psychological Settings So That Your Life Automatically Improves In Many Areas You May Think Are Unrelated. This Is Essentially A Leap From Fear To Faith.

Stop Trying To Change Your Behavior; Instead, Rethink Your Beliefs

I Really Do Think That Any Deep Crisis Is An Opportunity To Make Your Life Extraordinary In Some Way.

Humans Only Really Learn From Each Other By Storytelling. We Didn't Evolve To Memorize Things. We Evolved To Hear Each Other's Stories And Feel Them In Our Heart. Your Life Is The Most Powerful Story You Can Tell.

To Attract Something That You Want, Become As Joyful As You Think That Thing Would Make You.

The Past Doesn’t Exist Except As A Memory, A Mental Story, And Though Past Events Aren’t Changeable, Your Stories About Them Are. You Can Act Now To Transform The Way You Tell The Story Of Your Past, Ultimately Making It A Stalwart Protector Of Your Future.

My Deep Belief Is That All Of Us Have The Same Lifelong Work: To Learn Honesty, Courage, And Love. To Learn, In Other Words, How To Be Our Best Selves.

Your Body Is Free But Your Heart Is In Prison. To Release Your Heart, You Simply Reverse The Process Which Locked It Up. First You Begin To Listen For Messages From Your Heart-messages You May Have Been Ignoring Since Childhood. Next You Must Take The Daring, Risky Step Of Expressing Your Heart In The Outside World. . . . As You Learn To Live By Heart, Every Choice You Make Will Become Another Way Of Telling Your Story. . . . It Is The Way You Were Meant To Exist. If You Stop To Listen, You'll Realize That Your Heart Has Been Telling You So All Along.

We Are A Time-starved People, Obsessed With Fitting Huge Achievements Into Our Few Years. In The Process, We Often Fill Our Buckets With Things That Don't Matter Or Work. But When We Give Up On Trying To Change What Can't Be Changed, And Simply Embrace What We Love, A Miracle Occurs. We Notice That The Moment To Be Happy Has Already Arrived. It's Here, Now.

During The Times We Think We’re Being “unproductive,” The Seeds Of New Worlds Are Germinating Within Us, And They Need Peace To Grow.

Dawn Kotzer Is The Kind Of Coach Who Can See Beauty And Wisdom In Circumstances That Seem Ugly And Chaotic. She's Kind, Genuine And Honest, Willing And Able To See Where Her Clients Get Stuck And Gently Help Them Recover Their Freedom. Better Than A Coach Who Gives You The Answers, Dawn Will Help You Find The Answers To Your Life's Dilemmas That Are Already Within You.

Good-looking Individuals Are Treated Better Than Homely Ones In Virtually Every Social Situation, From Dating To Trial By Jury.

Looking For Love

As Soon As You Think You Know Someone Else's Truth Better Than They Do, You Are In Deep Water.

Bracketing Has Turned All My Experiences, Remembered And Present, Into A Gallery Of Miracles Where I Wander Around Dazzled By The Beauty Of Events I Cannot Explain.

Basic Human Contact - The Meeting Of Eyes, The Exchanging Of Words - Is To The Psyche What Oxygen Is To The Brain. If You're Feeling Abandoned By The World, Interact With Anyone You Can.

Many Of Us Have Spent A Lifetime Trying To Be What We’re Not, Feeling Lousy About Ourselves When We Fail, And Sometimes When We Succeed. We Hide Our Differences When, By Accepting And Celebrating Them, We Could Collaborate To Make Every Effort More Exciting, Productive Enjoyable, And Powerful. Personally, I Think We Should Start Right Now.

Use Anything You Can Think Of To Understand And Be Understood, And You'll Discover The Creativity That Connects You With Others.

Bad Habits Fill Needs, So Find Good Alternatives For Them.

Bad Artists Ignore The Darkness Of Human Existence. Good Artists Often Get Stuck There. Great Artists Embrace The Full Catastrophe Of Our Condition And Find Beyond It An Even Deeper Truth Of Peace, Healing, And Redemption.

A Confession You Make Merely To Illuminate The Murky Corners Of Your Little Life May End Up Lighting The Path To Freedom For A Thousand Other Hearts.

Good Fortune Has Side Effects.

The Way Out Of Fear Isn’t Safety. It’s Freedom.

If You Did Nothing But Pursue The Truth About Yourself For The Rest Of Your Life, You Would Never Run Out Of Fresh Discoveries.

Rest Of Your Life

Take Off Your Watch: The Divine Is Speaking To You.

Life Is Full Of Tough Decisions, And Nothing Makes Them Easy. But The Worst Ones Are Really Your Personal Koans, And Tormenting Ambivalence Is Just The Sense Of Satori Rising. Try, Trust, Try, And Trust Again, And Eventually You'll Feel Your Mind Change Its Focus To A New Level Of Understanding.

Caring For Your Inner Child Has A Powerful And Surprisingly Quick Result: Do It And The Child Heals.

Constantly Measuring Ourselves Against Others Sours And Shortens Our Lives, Robbing Us Of The Very Things We Think It Will Bring: Prosperity, Love, Inner Peace, The Knowledge That We’re Good Enough.

Only Since The Industrial Revolution Have Most People Worked In Places Away From Their Homes Or Been Left To Raise Small Children Without The Help Of Multiple Adults, Making For An Unsupported Life.

I Explain To Everyone I Deal With-co-workers, Children, Friends-that I'm Transitionally Challenged And They Should Call Me On My Cell Phone If I'm Even A Few Minutes Late. Such Calls Often Come In When I'm Happily Writing Or Rearranging The Furniture. The Monochrones In My Life Are So Organized, They Have No Trouble Remembering To Remind Me To Show Up.

To Know What That True Self Is Without Social Pressure Is To Know Your True Nature.

Social Pressure

I Don't Believe That There Are No Spiritual Beings Around Us. I Don't Know What To Call Them, I Don't Know How They Work. But I Know They're There

Where Your Attention Goes, Your Life Goes.

Every Day Brings New Choices.

Whether You've Seen Angels Floating Around Your Bedroom Or Just Found A Ray Of Hope At A Lonely Moment, Choosing To Believe That Something Unseen Is Caring For You Can Be A Life-shifting Exercise.

When You Are In A Creative Or Appreciative Zone, You Literally Have No Access To Your Inner Lizard, To That Fear-based, Non Creative, Shrieking Little Beasty Who's So Afraid You're Going To Be A Bag Lady.

Your First Daily Priority Should Be Stillness, Attention To What You Really Know And What You Really Feel.

Does This Feel Warmer Or Colder?

Conflict In Close Relationships Is Not Only Inevitable, It's Essential. Intimacy Connects People Who Are Inevitably Different.

The Repercussions Of One Person Living In Stubborn Gladness Are Incalculable.

Emotional Discomfort, When Accepted, Rises, Crests And Falls In A Series Of Waves. Each Wave Washes A Part Of Us Away And Deposits Treasures We Never Imagined. Out Goes Naivete, In Comes Wisdom; Out Goes Anger, In Comes Discernment; Out Goes Despair, In Comes Kindness. No One Would Call It Easy, But The Rhythm Of Emotional Pain That We Learn To Tolerate Is Natural, Constructive And Expansive... The Pain Leaves You Healthier Than It Found You.

Do Whatever Work Feeds Your True Self, Even If It’s Not A Safe Bet, Even If It’s Like A Crazy Risk, Even If Everyone In Your Life Tells You You’re Wrong Or Bad Or Crazy.

True Freedom Starts With Absolute Honesty. The Moment You Call A Problem By Its Real Name, You’re Already Learning How To Make It Less Harmful.

In The Pursuit Of Knowledge, Every Day Something Is Added. In The Practice Of The Way, Every Day Something Is Dropped. Less And Less Do You Need To Force Things, Until Finally You Arrive At Non-action. When Nothing Is Done, Nothing Is Left Undone.

The More You Claim Your Own Destiny, The Easier It Will Be To Love Unconditionally .

To Be Really Productive, It's As Important To Rest When We're Tired As It Is To Work When We're Inspired.

Your Relationship Is Not Supposed To Be Perfect All The Time, Your Business Is Not Supposed To Do Well All The Time, Your Soufflés Are Not Supposed To Raise Perfectly All The Time. Everything Is Designed To Go Wrong So That You Can Gain The Skills Of Rediscovering Your Tracks, Even In Difficult Or Frightening Circumstances. Especially In Difficult And Frightening Circumstances.

My Point Is That Perceptual Bias Can Affect Nut Jobs And Scientists Alike. If We Hold Too Rigidly To What We Think We Know, We Ignore Or Avoid Evidence Of Anything That Might Change Our Mind.

Do Whatever It Takes To Convey Your Essential Self.

Whatever It Takes

Every Aspect Of Your Life, Whether It's A Task Or Relationship, Personal Or Professional, Will Be Based On Love And Joy. And When You Get Right Down To It, Nothing Else Really Matters.

Truth Itself Is Something You Live, Not Something You Think.

Anything You're Trying To Will Is Focused On The Future; It's Always Associated With Some Sort Of Anxiety That Makes The Present Moment Somewhat Uncomfortable.

In Fact, When Care Appears, Unconditional Love Often Vanishes.

Unconditional Love

It Seems To Me At This Moment That Laughing Is A Serious Thing, That It Connects Us With Truth And Love And God.

Allowing Children To Show Their Guilt, Show Their Grief, Show Their Anger, Takes The Sting Out Of The Situation.

Don’t Hide Love. If You Feel It, Express It-not To Demand That Others Love You Back, But Simply To Live Outwardly The Best Of What You Feel Inwardly. The Worst That Can Happen To Your Heart Is Not Rejection By Another Person But Failure To Act On The Love You Feel.

If You See Failure As A Monster Stalking You, Or One That Has Already Ruined Your Life, Take Another Look. That Monster Can Become A Benevolent Teacher, Opening Your Mind To Successes You Cannot Now Imagine.

From A Place Of Stillness, Openness, Forgiveness And Acceptance You Can Renew Your Commitment To Any Eating Plan You Like.

A Lot Of My Clients Say They Don't Deserve To Mope About Their Sad Little Memories While Children Are Starving In India. I Say That Just Because Your Broken Arm Isn't As Serious As Someone Else's Gut Wound, That Doesn't Mean Your Injury Isn't Excruciating Or Doesn't Require Attention. If You Want To Help The Indian Children, Or Make The World A Better Place In Any Other Way, You Have To Start By Becoming Whole Yourself.

People Don’t Cry When They Lose Their Hope. They Cry When They Get It Back.

Any Moment You Spend Attacking Yourself Is A Moment Away From Your Higher Purpose And Your Power To Love. Don't Go There.

No Part Of Your Experience Is Wasted. Everything You've Experienced So Far Is Part Of What You Were Meant To Learn.

If You're Religious, It Gives You A Perspective.

You Have The Freedom To Live And Let Live, To Love And Let Love. Granting Yourself That Freedom Is One Of The Healthiest, Most Constructive Things You Can Do For Yourself And The People Who Matter To You.

Live And Let Live

I Want You To Notice Is That-right Here, Right Now-you’re Okay. You May Be In Pain, You May Be In Fear, You May Be In Grief. But You’re Here, You’re Surviving; This Moment Is Okay.

External Circumstances Do Not Create Feeling States. Feeling States Create External Circumstances.

Most People Go Through Their Whole Lives," John Went On, "and Never Have One Miracle Happen To Them. You've Had Dozens And Dozens, And You Still Want More! It's Like God Gives You A Brownie, I Mean A Really Good Brownie, But You Can't Be Content With It. You Want The Whole Pan Of Brownies. Nobody Gets That.

The Difference Between Success And Failure Isn't The Absence Of Fear But The Determination To Pursue Your Heart's Desires No Matter How Scared You Are.

To Live A Life That Is Wrong For You Is A Form Of Dying. There Are People Who Have Lives That Look Perfect. They Try To Be Happy, They Believe They Should Be Happy, They Are Trying To Like It, But If It's Off Course From Their North Star, They Aren't Satisfied.

The Holy Days Are The Best Times To Focus On Real Enthusiasm, The Inner Source That Lightens And Sanctifies Our Lives All Year.

When You Meet People, Show Real Appreciation, Then Genuine Curiosity.

Imagine The Choices You'd Make If You Had No Fear-of Falling, Of Losing, Of Being Alone, Of Disapproval.

Almost All My Middle-aged And Elderly Acquaintances, Including Me, Feel About 25, Unless We Haven't Had Our Coffee, In Which Case We Feel 107.

To Care For Someone Can Mean To Adore Them, Feed Them, Tend Their Wounds. But Care Can Also Signify Sorrow, As In "bowed Down By Cares." Or Anxiety, As In "careful!" Or Investment In An Outcome, As In "who Cares?" The Word Love Has No Such Range Of Meaning: It's Pure Acceptance.

Many Of Us Assume That We Have To Do Things A Certain Way: Ignore Passion In Favor Of Safer Bets, Act Stoic Amid Inner Turmoil, Run On An Upward Trajectory Of Success And Money Acquisition At Any Emotional Cost. But These Are Not Rules.

Trust In Your Truth. It Will Be The Best Decision You Ever Make.

This Very Moment Of Your Life, If You Experience It Fully, Will Show You Astonishing Wonders And Exquisite Delights.

What Laughter Is To Childhood, Sex Is To Adolescence.

You Will Know How To Stop Suffering As Soon As Suffering Ceases To Be Valuable. If You Are In Pain, You Are Being Led.

Hopeful Thinking Can Get You Out Of Your Fear Zone And Into Your Appreciation Zone.

You Shine For Who You Are ... Because No One Can Steal Your Light.

If You Want To End Your Isolation, You Must Be Honest About What You Want At A Core Level And Decide To Go After It.

The Knowledge Of Your Destiny Is Available To You, Well Before It Actually Happens, As A Message Streaming Continuously From Your Heart To Your Brain, Written In The Language Of Longing.

I’ll Tell You What It’s Time To Do Right Now. It’s Time To Set Your Schedule In Order So That You Don’t Look Back On The Day Of Your Death And Wonder Why You Never Really Lived. It’s Time To Ignore The Opinions Of Those Who Think Your Life Should Be All About Their Cause, Their Rules, Their Agenda, And Not Your Soul’s Desire. It’s Time To Stop Flagellating And Start Dancing.

Children Who Assume Adult Responsibilities Feel Old When They're Young.

The Way To Find Your Own North Star Is Not To Think Or Feel Your Way Forward But To Dissolve The Thoughts And Feeling That Make You Miserable. You Don't Have To Learn Your Destiny--you Already Know It; You Just Have To Unlearn The Thoughts That Blind You To What You Know.

You Get Social Pressure From Your Parents, Who Teach You To Pay Attention To Certain Things And Not To Others. You Get It In School.

Social Pressure

Somewhere In There, Among The Worries, Questions, Advice And Advertising Jingles, Lives Your Intuition, Your True 'inner Voice.' You Can Hear It To The Extent That You Give It Your Attention.

I've Developed The Habit Of Mentally Listing Things That Make Me Optimistic About The Future. I Do It Every Day.

Your Individuality Is The Most Valuable Thing You Have.

Valuable Things

Most People Think That Once They've Found Their Purpose And The Power To Practice It, They'll Finally Be At Peace. Actually, Though, It's Only By Starting In A Place Of Peace That We Find Our Purpose And Power. Peace Is The First Step And The Final Lesson We All Need To Learn.

Peace Is More Than Just A Feeling. It's The Mental And Physical Frequency Where You'll Find All Your Real Power.

Whenever You Go Somewhere That Speaks To Your Soul, You Are Going Home To Yourself.

Judgments That Constrain Your Giving Are The Very Demons That Are Keeping You From Receiving.

Imagination Is The Doorway You Walk Through Into Every Future Moment. Are You Walking Through Doorways To Pain Or To Joy?

Seek Art From Every Time And Place, In Any Form, To Connect With Those Who Really Move You.

You Can't Stay Well Without Telling--and Living--the Truth.

Here Is The Crux Of The Matter, The Distilled Essence, The Only Thing You Need To Remember: When Considering Whether To Say Yes Or No, You Must Choose The Response That Feels Like Freedom. Period.

Explorers Depend On The North Star When There Are No Other Landmarks In Sight. The Same Relationship Exists Between You And Your Right Life, The Ultimate Realization Of Your Potential For Happiness. I Believe That A Knowledge Of That Perfect Life Sits Inside You Just As The North Star Sits In Its Unaltering Spot.

The Position That I Take Partly As A Result Of Living In Asia Is Where You Stop Living According To Your Expectations And You Become Available To Experience Things As They Are.

Angels Come In Many Shapes And Sizes, And Most Of Them Are Not Invisible.

If You Begin To Face Your Fears, Something Bittersweet Is Going To Happen To You: You'll Grow Up.

Criticism Is An Alluring Substitute For Creation, Because Tearing Things Down, Unlike Building Them Up, Really Is As Easy As Falling Off A Stump. It's Blissfully Simple To Strike A Savvy, Sophisticated Pose By Attacking Someone Else's Creations, But The Old Adage Is Right: Any Fool Can Burn Down A Barn. Building One Is Something Else Again.

Feel About Yourself What You Would Have Others Feel About Themselves.

The Average Adult Laughs 15 Times A Day; The Average Child, More Than 400 Times.

The End Goal Of All Of This Striving Is To Live Joyfully, And That There Are Often More Direct Ways Of Achieving This Than Conforming To Rigid Standards Set By Social Custom.

Make Stuff Up. Anyone Who Ever Did Something New Or Interesting Was Making It Up As They Went Along.

Own Your Failure Openly, Publicly, With Genuine Regret But Absolutely No Shame, And You’ll Reap A Harvest Of Forgiveness, Trust, Respect, And Connection-the Things You Thought You’d Get By Succeeding. Ironic, Isn’t It?

Learning To Spot Narcissists And Deal With Their Destructive Behavior Can Save You The World Of Hurt That Awaits Anyone Who Mistakes The Near Enemy For A Friend.

People Are So Afraid Of Authority Figures And Doctors Are Authority Figures.

We Virtually Never Feel Our Age, But Thinking That We Should Can Lead To Disaster.

If You're Feeling Abandoned By The World, Interact With Anyone You Can.

Any Transition Serious Enough To Alter Your Definition Of Self Will Require Not Just Small Adjustments In Your Way Of Living And Thinking But A Full-on Metamorphosis.

What Should You Do Now? Find A New Way. A Better Way. Your Way. The Unknown, Uncharted Path Through This Wild New World That Allows You---yourself, In Your Uniqueness--to Reclaim The Full Measure Of Your True Nature.

As Any Good Buddhist Will Tell You, The Only Way To Find Permanent Joy Is By Embracing The Fact That Nothing Is Permanent.

Instead Of Hiding Your Loneliness, Bring It Into The Light. Honor It. Treat It. Heal It. You'll Find That It Returns The Favor.

Friends, There Are Many Areas In Which I Need Encouragement, But Worrying Is Not One Of Them. I Worry The Way Renée Fleming Sings High Cs: Effortlessly. Loudly. At Length.

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Rupert Sheldrake

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