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Learning To Spot Narcissists And Deal With Their Destructive Behavior Can Save You The World Of Hurt That Awaits Anyone Who Mistakes The Near Enemy For A Friend.

-Martha Beck

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Learning To Spot Narcissists

Martha Beck

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Learning To Spot Narcissists And Deal With Their Destructive Behavior Can Save You The World Of Hurt That Awaits Anyone Who Mistakes The Near Enemy For A Friend.

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In One Century, We've Added 28 Years To Our Average Life Span - A Change So Rapid That Our Brains Couldn't Possibly Have Evolved To Accommodate It.

I'd Like To Help Repair The Earth's Ecosystems, And To Fully Live Until I'm Fully Dead.

Bracketing Has Turned All My Experiences, Remembered And Present, Into A Gallery Of Miracles Where I Wander Around Dazzled By The Beauty Of Events I Cannot Explain.

My Point Is That Perceptual Bias Can Affect Nut Jobs And Scientists Alike. If We Hold Too Rigidly To What We Think We Know, We Ignore Or Avoid Evidence Of Anything That Might Change Our Mind.

Creating Ways To Be Happy Is Your Life's Work, A Challenge That Won't End Until You Die.

Constantly Measuring Ourselves Against Others Sours And Shortens Our Lives, Robbing Us Of The Very Things We Think It Will Bring: Prosperity, Love, Inner Peace, The Knowledge That We’re Good Enough.

Most People Think That Once They've Found Their Purpose And The Power To Practice It, They'll Finally Be At Peace. Actually, Though, It's Only By Starting In A Place Of Peace That We Find Our Purpose And Power. Peace Is The First Step And The Final Lesson We All Need To Learn.

During The Times We Think We’re Being “unproductive,” The Seeds Of New Worlds Are Germinating Within Us, And They Need Peace To Grow.

Your First Daily Priority Should Be Stillness, Attention To What You Really Know And What You Really Feel.

I Don't Believe That There Are No Spiritual Beings Around Us. I Don't Know What To Call Them, I Don't Know How They Work. But I Know They're There

The Idea Is To Identify A Destructive Thought Pattern, Then Simply Label It And Watch It And Let It Pass By Whenever It Appears In Your Mind.

I Have Come To Believe That There Are Infinite Passageways Out Of The Shadows, Infinite Vehicles To Transport Us Into The Light.

Caring For Your Inner Child Has A Powerful And Surprisingly Quick Result: Do It And The Child Heals.

Silence Comes In Two Varieties: One That Nourishes And Comforts; Another That Chokes, Smothers, And Isolates. Solitary Confinement Is The Worst Kind Of Imprisonment We Can Inflict On Fellow Humans, And If You Are Forced To Keep Silent About Some Dark Secret, You Live In Solitary Confinement. Without The Bridge Of Communication Connecting You To Other Human Beings, You Can’t Share Your Burdens, Can’t Receive Comfort, Can’t Confirm That You Still Belong. Silence Is The Abyss That Separates You From Hope.

Learning To Let Go Of Expectations Is A Ticket To Peace. It Allows Us To Ride Over Every Crisis—small Or Large, Brother-in-law Or End-of-quarter Office Lockdown—like A Beach Ball On Water. The Next Time A Problem Arises In Your Life, Take A Deep Breath, Let Out A Sigh, And Replace The Thought Oh No! With The Thought Okay.

I Want You To Notice Is That-right Here, Right Now-you’re Okay. You May Be In Pain, You May Be In Fear, You May Be In Grief. But You’re Here, You’re Surviving; This Moment Is Okay.

The Only Map Of Your Right Life Is Written On Your Soul At Its Most Peaceful, And The Only Sure Compass Is Your Heart At Its Most Open.

Most Of Our Stress And Suffering Come Not From Events, But From Our Thoughts. Reframe From Negative Thoughts, And Stress Subsides.

The Important Thing Is To Tell Yourself A Life Story In Which You, The Hero, Are Primarily A Problem Solver Rather Than A Helpless Victim. This Is Well Within Your Power, Whatever Fate Might Have Dealt You.

Sometimes A Psychic Tells You Something And It Feels Wrong And Others May Be Right On The Money. It's Your Choice About Whom To Trust, And Giving That Trust Is Something We Do Ourselves.

If You're A Bit Spongy, Vulnerable To The Unsettling Energy Of Others, Count Yourself Lucky. You've Been Given An Incentive To Armor Up, To Consciously Screen Out The Ubiquitous Stresses That Afflict Humanity.

The Process Of Spotting Fear And Refusing To Obey It Is The Source Of All True Empowerment.

The Only Way To The Place Beyond Fear Is To Do The Thing You Fear Most. This Is How To Surrender To Your Best Destiny.

When You Do The Thing You Fear, The Thing Loses Its Power To Scare.

People Who Get What They Want Tend To Be The Ones Who Make The Effort To Know What They Want.

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This Is The Part Of Us That Makes Our Brief, Improbable Little Lives Worth Living: The Ability To Reach Through Our Own Isolation And Find Strength, And Comfort, And Warmth For And In Each Other. This Is What Human Beings Do. This Is What We Live For, The Way Horses Live To Run.

Make Stuff Up. Anyone Who Ever Did Something New Or Interesting Was Making It Up As They Went Along.

If You Find Yourself Getting Nervous Stop And Relax For Three Full Breaths. Then Take One Small Step, Then Another. That Is How People Get To The Top Of Everest.

Finding Yourself

Remember That It’s Okay To Ask For Help When You’re Stumped, Because Sometimes You Really Can’t Be Expected To Handle Everything Alone.

If You Begin To Face Your Fears, Something Bittersweet Is Going To Happen To You: You'll Grow Up.

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The Position That I Take Partly As A Result Of Living In Asia Is Where You Stop Living According To Your Expectations And You Become Available To Experience Things As They Are.

Adults Under Threat Feel Like Children.

I Really Do Think That Any Deep Crisis Is An Opportunity To Make Your Life Extraordinary In Some Way.

We Evolved To Move And To Learn With All Our Five Senses!

Dawn Kotzer Is The Kind Of Coach Who Can See Beauty And Wisdom In Circumstances That Seem Ugly And Chaotic. She's Kind, Genuine And Honest, Willing And Able To See Where Her Clients Get Stuck And Gently Help Them Recover Their Freedom. Better Than A Coach Who Gives You The Answers, Dawn Will Help You Find The Answers To Your Life's Dilemmas That Are Already Within You.

The Moment We Begin Tolerating Meanness, In Ourselves And Others, We Are Using Our Authorial Power In The Service Of Wrongdoing. We Have Both The Capacity And The Obligation To Do Better.

Any Transition Serious Enough To Alter Your Definition Of Self Will Require Not Just Small Adjustments In Your Way Of Living And Thinking But A Full-on Metamorphosis.

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Anything You're Trying To Will Is Focused On The Future; It's Always Associated With Some Sort Of Anxiety That Makes The Present Moment Somewhat Uncomfortable.

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What Laughter Is To Childhood, Sex Is To Adolescence.

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Places Of Peace

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Dangerous World

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Whatever It Takes

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Rest Of Your Life

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Valuable Things

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You Will Know How To Stop Suffering As Soon As Suffering Ceases To Be Valuable. If You Are In Pain, You Are Being Led.

Learning To Spot Narcissists And Deal With Their Destructive Behavior Can Save You The World Of Hurt That Awaits Anyone Who Mistakes The Near Enemy For A Friend.

I Fell In Love With Africa And Began Helping People Fix Things There.

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Your Life Follows Your Attention. Wherever You Look, You End Up Going.

A True Leader Is Not Someone Who Feels Fully Informed But Someone Who Continuously Receives Insight And Guidance.

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Many Of Us Assume That We Have To Do Things A Certain Way: Ignore Passion In Favor Of Safer Bets, Act Stoic Amid Inner Turmoil, Run On An Upward Trajectory Of Success And Money Acquisition At Any Emotional Cost. But These Are Not Rules.

Play Until It's Time To Rest, Then Rest Until It's Time To Play.

Whenever You Go Somewhere That Speaks To Your Soul, You Are Going Home To Yourself.

The Past Doesn’t Exist Except As A Memory, A Mental Story, And Though Past Events Aren’t Changeable, Your Stories About Them Are. You Can Act Now To Transform The Way You Tell The Story Of Your Past, Ultimately Making It A Stalwart Protector Of Your Future.

Anger Elicits Anger, Fear Elicits Fear, No Matter How Well Meaning We May Be.

When You Are In A Creative Or Appreciative Zone, You Literally Have No Access To Your Inner Lizard, To That Fear-based, Non Creative, Shrieking Little Beasty Who's So Afraid You're Going To Be A Bag Lady.

Most Of My Clients Don't Realize That The Way They Look And The Way They Think About Their Looks Are Two Separate Issues.

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No Matter How Difficult And Painful It May Be, Nothing Sounds As Good To The Soul As The Truth.

The Holy Days Are The Best Times To Focus On Real Enthusiasm, The Inner Source That Lightens And Sanctifies Our Lives All Year.

If Anything Is Worth Doing, It Is Worth Doing It Badly.

If Your Life Is Cloudy And You're Far, Far Off Course, You May Have To Go On Faith For A While, But Eventually You'll Learn That Every Time You Trust Your Internal Navigation System, You End Up Closer To Your Right Life.

Only Since The Industrial Revolution Have Most People Worked In Places Away From Their Homes Or Been Left To Raise Small Children Without The Help Of Multiple Adults, Making For An Unsupported Life.

Fear Is The Raw Material From Which Courage Is Manufactured. Without It, We Wouldn't Even Know What It Means To Be Brave.

Perpetually Doing, Without Ever Tuning In To The Center Of Our Being, Is The Equivalent Of Fueling A Mighty Ship By Tossing All Its Navigational Equipment Into The Furnace.

Stop Trying To Change Your Behavior; Instead, Rethink Your Beliefs

Do Whatever Work Feeds Your True Self, Even If It’s Not A Safe Bet, Even If It’s Like A Crazy Risk, Even If Everyone In Your Life Tells You You’re Wrong Or Bad Or Crazy.

Standards Of Beauty Are Arbitrary. Body Shame Exists Only To The Extent That Our Physiques Don't Match Our Own Beliefs About How We Should Look.

If A Problem Looks Difficult, Relax. If It Looks Impossible, Relax Even More. Then Begin Encouraging Small Changes, Putting Just Enough Pressure On Yourself To Move One Turtle Step Forward. Then Rest, Savor, Celebrate. Then Step Again. You’ll Find That Slow Is Fast, Gentle Is Powerful, And Stillness Moves Mountains.

If You're Religious, It Gives You A Perspective.

To Follow Your Life's Guidance, You May Have To Reassign Some Seemingly Important Things To 'unimportant.' If You Believe That Pleasing Your Horrible Boss Or Having A Spotless House Is A Higher Priority Than Playing With Your Children Or Sleeping Off The Flu, Be Prepared For A Long And Strenuous Battle Against Destiny. Also, Be Prepared To Lose.

Don't Let Your Life Revolve Around Whatever You're Trying Not To Do Or Feel. Live To Experience, Not To Avoid.

Try Seeing Your World And Yourself This Way, Eyes Open To Whatever Is Before You, Mind Free Of Dichotomies. Are You Good Or Bad, Fragile Or Tough, Wise Or Foolish? Yes. And So Am I.

Although Beauty May Be In The Eye Of The Beholder, The Feeling Of Being Beautiful Exists Solely In The Mind Of The Beheld.

Whether You've Seen Angels Floating Around Your Bedroom Or Just Found A Ray Of Hope At A Lonely Moment, Choosing To Believe That Something Unseen Is Caring For You Can Be A Life-shifting Exercise.

Tiny Steps Will Get You To Your Goal Months And Months Sooner. A Little Is Better Than A Lot.

Somewhere In There, Among The Worries, Questions, Advice And Advertising Jingles, Lives Your Intuition, Your True 'inner Voice.' You Can Hear It To The Extent That You Give It Your Attention.

Imagine What You'd Do If It Absolutely Didn't Matter What People Thought Of You. Got It? Good. Never Go Back.

Imagination Is The Doorway You Walk Through Into Every Future Moment. Are You Walking Through Doorways To Pain Or To Joy?

We Are A Time-starved People, Obsessed With Fitting Huge Achievements Into Our Few Years. In The Process, We Often Fill Our Buckets With Things That Don't Matter Or Work. But When We Give Up On Trying To Change What Can't Be Changed, And Simply Embrace What We Love, A Miracle Occurs. We Notice That The Moment To Be Happy Has Already Arrived. It's Here, Now.

From A Place Of Stillness, Openness, Forgiveness And Acceptance You Can Renew Your Commitment To Any Eating Plan You Like.

Imagine The Choices You'd Make If You Had No Fear-of Falling, Of Losing, Of Being Alone, Of Disapproval.

It Seems To Me At This Moment That Laughing Is A Serious Thing, That It Connects Us With Truth And Love And God.

True Freedom Starts With Absolute Honesty. The Moment You Call A Problem By Its Real Name, You’re Already Learning How To Make It Less Harmful.

Welcoming Imperfection Is The Way To Accomplish What Perfectionism Promises But Never Delivers. It Gives Us Our Best Performance And Genuine Acceptance In The Family Of Human -- And By That I Mean Imperfect -- Beings.

A Joyful Life Isn’t About Others; It’s About The Brightness That Is Associated With Being Alive. Your Path To It Is Through Anything That Replaces Thinking With Pure Flight, Pure Joy.

When You're Weary, Find Relief. When You're Strong, Find Delight.

Emotional Discomfort, When Accepted, Rises, Crests And Falls In A Series Of Waves. Each Wave Washes A Part Of Us Away And Deposits Treasures We Never Imagined. Out Goes Naivete, In Comes Wisdom; Out Goes Anger, In Comes Discernment; Out Goes Despair, In Comes Kindness. No One Would Call It Easy, But The Rhythm Of Emotional Pain That We Learn To Tolerate Is Natural, Constructive And Expansive... The Pain Leaves You Healthier Than It Found You.

Don’t Worry That You’ve Wasted Time. Each Moment -- No Matter How Frozen Or Confused -- Was A Useful And Necessary Lesson.

Your Relationship Is Not Supposed To Be Perfect All The Time, Your Business Is Not Supposed To Do Well All The Time, Your Soufflés Are Not Supposed To Raise Perfectly All The Time. Everything Is Designed To Go Wrong So That You Can Gain The Skills Of Rediscovering Your Tracks, Even In Difficult Or Frightening Circumstances. Especially In Difficult And Frightening Circumstances.

Many Of Us Have Spent A Lifetime Trying To Be What We’re Not, Feeling Lousy About Ourselves When We Fail, And Sometimes When We Succeed. We Hide Our Differences When, By Accepting And Celebrating Them, We Could Collaborate To Make Every Effort More Exciting, Productive Enjoyable, And Powerful. Personally, I Think We Should Start Right Now.

Slow Is Fast, Gentle Is Powerful And Stillness Moves Mountains

Truth Itself Is Something You Live, Not Something You Think.

Whoever Said That Love Is Blind Was Dead Wrong. Love Is The Only Thing On This Earth That Lets Us See Each Other With The Remotest Accuracy.

Hopeful Thinking Can Get You Out Of Your Fear Zone And Into Your Appreciation Zone.

If You're Miserable, Make A Choice. If You're Still Miserable, You Can Choose Again.

People Are So Afraid Of Authority Figures And Doctors Are Authority Figures.

Ten Bajillion Product Ads Notwithstanding, Your Looks Are Another Thing That's Basically Genetic.

We Virtually Never Feel Our Age, But Thinking That We Should Can Lead To Disaster.

Friends, There Are Many Areas In Which I Need Encouragement, But Worrying Is Not One Of Them. I Worry The Way Renée Fleming Sings High Cs: Effortlessly. Loudly. At Length.

Question Every Thought That Causes Suffering And Test It Against Your Own Sense Of Truth.

We Can’t Save Ourselves From Fear By Seeking Safety, Because Safety Always Means There’s Something To Be Safe From-in Other Words, Something To Fear. The Way Out Of Fear Isn’t Safety. It’s Freedom.

If You Think There Is No Action That You Can Perform In Your Current Circumstances That Will Increase The Supply Of Love In The World, You Are Believing A Lie. At The Very Least, You Always Have The Option To Offer Yourself Kindness And Understanding. That Alone Can Increase The Supply Of Love In The World.

I Am Free, And Always Have Been; Free To Accept My Own Reality, Free To Trust My Perceptions, Free To Believe What Makes Me Feel Sane Even If Others Call Me Crazy, Free To Disagree Even If It Means Great Loss, Free To Seek The Way Home Until I Find It.

Feel About Yourself What You Would Have Others Feel About Themselves.

The Way To Find Your Own North Star Is Not To Think Or Feel Your Way Forward But To Dissolve The Thoughts And Feeling That Make You Miserable. You Don't Have To Learn Your Destiny--you Already Know It; You Just Have To Unlearn The Thoughts That Blind You To What You Know.

Allowing Children To Show Their Guilt, Show Their Grief, Show Their Anger, Takes The Sting Out Of The Situation.

You're Exactly Where You're Meant To Be, Meandering Along A Crooked Path.

Infinite Possibilities

You Get Social Pressure From Your Parents, Who Teach You To Pay Attention To Certain Things And Not To Others. You Get It In School.

Social Pressure

Don’t Hide Love. If You Feel It, Express It-not To Demand That Others Love You Back, But Simply To Live Outwardly The Best Of What You Feel Inwardly. The Worst That Can Happen To Your Heart Is Not Rejection By Another Person But Failure To Act On The Love You Feel.

I Explain To Everyone I Deal With-co-workers, Children, Friends-that I'm Transitionally Challenged And They Should Call Me On My Cell Phone If I'm Even A Few Minutes Late. Such Calls Often Come In When I'm Happily Writing Or Rearranging The Furniture. The Monochrones In My Life Are So Organized, They Have No Trouble Remembering To Remind Me To Show Up.

Children Who Assume Adult Responsibilities Feel Old When They're Young.

Take Off Your Watch: The Divine Is Speaking To You.

Just One Mental Shift-focusing On The Abundance Of Your Environment-switches Your Psychological Settings So That Your Life Automatically Improves In Many Areas You May Think Are Unrelated. This Is Essentially A Leap From Fear To Faith.

Absolutely Lonely People Have Few Personal Interactions Of Any Kind.

To Care For Someone Can Mean To Adore Them, Feed Them, Tend Their Wounds. But Care Can Also Signify Sorrow, As In "bowed Down By Cares." Or Anxiety, As In "careful!" Or Investment In An Outcome, As In "who Cares?" The Word Love Has No Such Range Of Meaning: It's Pure Acceptance.

I Practice Staying Calm All The Time, Beginning With Situations That Aren't Tense.

Though We Often See Life Troughs As The Universe's Conspiracy To Ruin Us, They're Actually Our Own True Nature Inviting Us To Lay Down Our Weary Heads.

Rest Until You Feel Like Playing, Then Play Until You Feel Like Resting, Period. Never Do Anything Else.

To Know What That True Self Is Without Social Pressure Is To Know Your True Nature.

Social Pressure

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Annie Leibovitz

Thomas B. Macaulay

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