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Yesterday, The Supreme Court Spent Over An Hour Listening To Arguments On Whether Obamacare Is Unconstitutional. Yeah, Listening To Arguments About Obamacare For An Hour, Or As Most People Call That, 'thanksgiving Dinner.'

-Jimmy Fallon

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Yesterday, The Supreme Court

Jimmy Fallon

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Yesterday, The Supreme Court Spent Over An Hour Listening To Arguments On Whether Obamacare Is Unconstitutional. Yeah, Listening To Arguments About Obamacare For An Hour, Or As Most People Call That, 'thanksgiving Dinner.'

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Majority Leader

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London Olympics

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Construction Workers

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Live Your Life By Doing Activities That Are Beneficial

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London Olympics

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Rest Of Your Life

Your Best Friend

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Thank You... Fat Dude With Giant Headphones On The Subway, For Looking Like What Would've Happened If Jabba The Hutt Mated With Princess Leia.

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Thank You... Adjustable Baseball Caps With No Logo On The Front And Mesh Netting In The Back, For Being A Great Way To Say, 'hi, I'm Over 80 Years Old.'

A Recent Study Found That People Lie More When They Are Texting. Yeah, Especially That One Lie: "sorry, Just Got Your Text!

President Obama Is Launching A New $6 Billion Space Policy That Will Ultimately Take Astronauts To Mars. Of Course, It's $6 Billion And $45 If The Astronauts Have A Carry-on.

The U.s. Is Re-establishing Relations With Cuba. But Before President Obama Can Lift The Embargo, It Will Need Approval From The Republican-controlled Congress - Or As Republicans Who Called Obama Said, 'close, But No Cigar.'

There Are Reports That Russia Is Actually Working With North Korea To Encourage “collaboration And Cooperation” Between The Two Countries. Yeah, They Believe That With Russia's Economic Power And North Korea's Technology, They Can Be A Real Threat To 1987.

My Parents Were Kind Of Over Protective People. Me And My Sister Had To Play In The Backyard All The Time. They Bought Us Bikes For Christmas But Wouldn't Let Us Ride In The Street, We Had To Ride In The Backyard. Another Christmas, My Dad Got Me A Basketball Hoop And Put It In The Middle Of The Lawn! You Can't Dribble On Grass.

The Acting Director Of The Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, Said They May Make The Fence Around The White House Taller Because Of The Recent Security Failures. When Asked If He Had Any Other Ideas, He Said, 'uh, Make The Sidewalk Lower?'

Joe Biden Went To Brazil In An Effort To Try And Repair America's Relationship With Their Government. Biden Said, 'it's Great To Be Here In The Amazon. I've Always Wanted To See Where All The Books Come From.'

Arizona Just Became The 15th State To Approve Medical Marijuana. So I Give It Three Days Before They Stop Caring About The Whole Immigration Thing.

Today Russia Announced That It Will Join America's Fight With The Terror Group Isis. Then Putin Said, "but I Did Not Say Which Side.

Msnbc Host Lawrence O'donnell Is Saying Donald Trump Lied When He Said He Made $20 Million A Year Off His 'apprentice' Series On Nbc. Nbc Also Denied Trump's Claim, Saying, 'we Don't Have $20 Million. We're Nbc.'

I Like Video Games, I Like Tech, I Like Being Positive.

John Mccain Responded To Critics Who Say He's Too Old For A Sixth Term By Saying That His Mother Is 103 Years Old And Doing Well. The Crazy Thing Is That Even She Is Somehow Younger Than John Mccain.

I Became A Yankees Fan For A Few Years. But Now, I Gotta Say, I'm Really Rooting For The Red Sox.

Sandler's Always Good. Tom Hanks Gave Me Some Good Advice.

Facebook Revealed That Ebola Was The Most Popular Facebook Topic In The U.s. This Year, With The World Cup Coming In Sixth. So Welcome To America, Where Even Ebola Is More Popular Than Soccer.

I Remember People Saying To Us, "you're Too Nice. Hollywood Is Going To Eat You Up And Spit You Out." I Never Listened To Them.

They're Making A Movie About Barack And Michelle Obama's First Date, Called 'southside With You,' And The Producers Say They've Already Cast Someone To Play Young Barack Obama. Now, I'm Not Saying The President Has Aged A Lot But That Young Actor Is Morgan Freeman.

As You Can Imagine, With Hillary Clinton Being Here, Security Is Very Tight. The Secret Service Has Been Here All Day Sweeping The Halls, The Offices, The Hard Drives... It's Tight.

Officials From The Soccer Organization Fifa, Which Decides Which Cities Get To Host The World Cup, Are Accused Of Accepting Bribes When Making Their Decision. Of Course The Toughest Part For The Soccer Officials Was Taking Bribes Without Using Their Hands.

A Miami Judge Issued Florida's First Gay Marriage License Yesterday, Which Makes It The 36th State To Legally Perform Gay Marriages. Of Course, Most Florida Residents Are Too Old To Understand What That Means. They'll Say, 'well, I Think All Marriages Should Be Gay, And Merry.'

If People Want To See You, They'll Find You. If They Don't See You On Tv, They'll Find You On The Internet.

One Gop Congressman Named Carlos Curbelo Actually Suggested That Donald Trump May Be A 'phantom Candidate' That Has Been Planted By Democrats. The Dnc Strongly Denied This - While Hillary Said, 'crap, They Figured It Out! Take Off The Wig, Bill.'

When I See Professional Clowns, Mimes, Or People Who Makes Ballon Animals, I Think Of Their Relatives And How Disappointed They Must Be.

Republican Candidate George Pataki Said His Dogs Would Give Him The Best Endorsement For Becoming Our Next President. Until They Hear Chris Christie Always Carries Bacon In His Pockets. (joke's On Them, Though, He's Never Going To Give Them Any Of That Pocket Bacon. It's What Gets Him Through Long Meetings!)

I Didn't Invent The Rainy Day. I Just Own The Best Umbrella.

Thank You... Preseason Football, For Having All The Excitement, Commercials, And Time-outs Of The Regular Season, But With None Of The Mattering. I Appreciate It. Thank You.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie Is Going To Israel. He's Going To Be Pretty Disappointed When He Finds Out The Gaza Strip Isn't A Steak.

...being A Father Is The Most Exciting, Amazing Thing That Ever Happened To Me.

Whenever I'm Stuck In Traffic, I Can't Help But Wonder, 'where Did The Creator Of The Jetsons Go, And Why Hasn't He Done Something About This?'

During The Cpac Conference, Rand Paul Told The Crowd It Was Time For A New President And That People Need To Help Make The Change. Of Course, Most People Agreed With Him, Since That's How Term Limits Work.

You're Sitting There, With Your Wife And Your Baby And Your Smiling Dog, And You're Watching Real Housewives Getting Into Fistfights On Tv. And You Go, 'how Great Is My Life? I'm So Happy Right Now.'

Iran Said It Will Give Up Trying To Make A Nuclear Weapon. But It Got Awkward When Iran Said, 'but Just For Lent. We'll Start Again On Monday.'

Many Believe That Hillary Clinton Was Channeling President Obama During Her Recent Speech In New York City. She Focused On Equality, Justice, And How Hard It Was For Her Growing Up As A Young Black Man In Hawaii.

Barnes & Noble Ceo William Lynch Just Announced That He Is Stepping Down After Three Years. When Asked If He's Looking For A New Job, He Was Like, 'nah, Just Browsing.'

Mike Huckabee Said He's The Only Person Who Has Fought The Clinton Political Machine And Won. As Opposed To Democratic Candidate Bernie Sanders, Who's The Only Person Who Fought A Fax Machine And Lost.

After President Obama Announced His Support For Net Neutrality Yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz Tweeted That 'net Neutrality Is Obamacare For The Internet.' While Ted Cruz Continues To Be The Taylor Swift Of Not Getting Over Obamacare.

North Korea Has Declared Its Own Time Zone That They Are Calling 'pyongyang Time,' And Set Their Clocks Back Half An Hour. So If It's Say, 11:40 Here Now In New York, In North Korea It's Still 1925.

I Just Really Don't Like Being The Center Of Attention That Much. It's Kind Of Ironic.

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