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It Was The 60th Anniversary Of 'face The Nation.' During His Interview, President Obama Said, 'our Country Doesn't Fear The Future. We Grab It.' Nothing Says You Grab The Future Like Going On A 60-year-old Show Hosted By A 77-year-old-man To Speak To A 90-year-old Audience.

-Jimmy Fallon

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It Was The 60th

Jimmy Fallon

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It Was The 60th Anniversary Of 'face The Nation.' During His Interview, President Obama Said, 'our Country Doesn't Fear The Future. We Grab It.' Nothing Says You Grab The Future Like Going On A 60-year-old Show Hosted By A 77-year-old-man To Speak To A 90-year-old Audience.

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Thank You... 'real Housewives Of Atlanta,' For Demonstrating A Universal Truth: Idiots Like Me Will Always Watch Idiots Like You Fight On Tv. You Will Forever Be In My Tivo.

President Obama Recently Sat Down With Espn And Said The Ncaa Should Reduce The Shot Clock For Basketball Games. Then He Said, 'and While We're At It, Is There Any Way They Can Reduce The 'being President Clock?'

In A Recent Interview, John Mccain Addressed Trump's Campaign Rally In Arizona And Said That He Just Quote, 'fired Up The Crazies.' Not To Be Confused With Trump's Show 'celebrity Apprentice,' Where He Just Fired The Crazies.

A New Poll Also Shows That A Majority Of People In Colorado Think Hillary Clinton Is Not Trustworthy. Although, That's Not Saying Much Coming From The Most Paranoid State In America. 'hillary Clinton? She's A Cop?'

Many People Are Noting The Difference Between Hillary Clinton's Friendly Public Appearances And Her Blunt And Direct Twitter Account. Yeah, She's Nice In Person, And Mean On The Internet. You Know, Kinda Like Everyone.

Donald Trump's Campaign Has Raised About $100,000 In Donations During The Second Quarter. Which Raises An Important Question: Who Is Giving Donald Trump Money? That's Like Giving Your Money To A Pile Of Money.

After A Six-year Battle, The Senate Will Vote Next Week To Begin Construction On The Keystone Xl Pipeline, Which Is An Oil Pipeline That Runs From Canada To The Gulf Coast. They're Hoping The Pipeline Will Provide Enough Oil To Cover Kim Kardashian's Next Photo Shoot.

A New Study Found That Americans Are Exercising More Than Ever But Still Not Losing Much Weight. Not Good In Fact, It's All I Could Think About On My Jog To Dunkin' Donuts.

Success Is Just Happiness. When You Are Happy, That Is Success.

Congrats To Prince William And Kate Middleton, Who Welcomed A Baby Girl On Saturday. The Royal Baby Weighed Eight Pounds - Or Around 12 American Dollars.

A New Poll Found That 43 Percent Of Americans Think President Obama Is Doing A Good Job At Handling The Bp Oil Spill. Of Course, The Same Poll Found That 43 Percent Of Americans Hate Pelicans.

The Senate Has Passed A New Bill That Requires Tv Stations To Lower The Volume Level On Commercials. This Is Great, A Hundred Of The Most Powerful People In The Nation Have Managed To Do The Same Thing My Remote Does.

Iran Said It Will Give Up Trying To Make A Nuclear Weapon. But It Got Awkward When Iran Said, 'but Just For Lent. We'll Start Again On Monday.'

A House Panel In Texas Has Approved Full Marijuana Legalization For The State. Yeah, Meaning Texas Could Go From Having Dude Ranches To 'dude, Ranches.'

I Can Watch An Episode Of Jerry Seinfeld, And By The End, I'm Just Walking Around My House, You Know, Talking Like Jerry Seinfeld. 'what Is That? What Are You Doing? Who Is It? What's Going' - You Know, I Just Had That Thing, When I Grew Up, I'd Just Start Talking Like People. You Know, I Always Had That.

As You Can Imagine, With Hillary Clinton Being Here, Security Is Very Tight. The Secret Service Has Been Here All Day Sweeping The Halls, The Offices, The Hard Drives... It's Tight.

We're Into Tech Stuff, Gadgets, Phones, Video Games. We'll Treat A Video Game Premiere Like A Movie Premiere. I'm Just Going To Be Honest With What I Like And What I Do. What I Enjoy. We're Not Going To Hide The Fact That People Are On The Internet All Day. I Think A Lot Of Shows Don't Really Mention That.

Mike Huckabee Said He's The Only Person Who Has Fought The Clinton Political Machine And Won. As Opposed To Democratic Candidate Bernie Sanders, Who's The Only Person Who Fought A Fax Machine And Lost.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

There's A New Facebook App That Will Post A Final Status Update For You After You Die. That's Ridiculous. I Don't Need Someone To Change My Status When I Die. I Need Them To Water My Farmville Crops.

According To A New Survey, Almost Half Of The Voters In Ohio, Florida, And Pennsylvania Say That They Do Not Trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans Immediately Got Together And Said, 'ok, This Is A Huge Opportunity For Us. How Are We Going To Screw It Up?'

That's Right, Mitt Romney Took On Evander Holyfield In A Boxing Match For Charity, And It Was A Pretty One-sided Fight. But It Was Still Not The Worst Boxing Match We've Seen This Month. This Weekend Vladimir Putin Played In An Exhibition Hockey Game With Some Former Nhl Players And Scored Eight Goals. Even Evander Holyfield And Mitt Romney Said, 'that Looks Fake.'

President Obama Is Launching A New $6 Billion Space Policy That Will Ultimately Take Astronauts To Mars. Of Course, It's $6 Billion And $45 If The Astronauts Have A Carry-on.

You Only Think Of The Best Comeback When You Leave.

Former New York Governor George Pataki May Enter The Race For President. It's Not Definite, But He Tweeted That He'll Announce His 2016 Plans On May 28 In New Hampshire. Well, What's He Gonna Do, Go To New Hampshire To Say He's Not Running? That's Like Getting Down On One Knee And Saying, 'i Think It's Time To See Other People.'

Rachel Dolezal Stepped Down From Her Position As President Of An Naacp Chapter After It Was Revealed That She Was A White Woman Pretending To Be Black. Now Her Brother Says He Knew About It But She Asked Him Not To Blow Her Cover. Unfortunately, Her Cover Had Already Been Blown By God When He Made Her A Blond-haired, Blue-eyed White Lady.

Now That The Midterm Elections Are Over, President Obama Has Invited Congressional Leaders From Both Parties To A Meeting At The White House Tomorrow. When Asked If He's Nervous, Obama Said, 'oh, I'm Not Going To Be There. I Just Invited Them Over. They Can Figure It Out Themselves.'

I'm Going To North Pole To Help Out Santa This Year.

I Saw That On Small Business Saturday, The President Went Shopping At A Bookstore And Bought 17 Books, Including "the Laughing Monsters," "being Mortal," And "heart Of Darkness." Or As The Cashier Put It, "you Ok, Man? Maybe A Little 'chicken Soup For The Presidential Soul?'

A Man In Thailand Was Arrested With More Than 10,000 Pairs Of Stolen Underwear. Legal Experts Are Expecting A Brief Trial.

No-one Gets Beaten To Death Quite Like Hilary Swank

Thank You... Fat Dude With Giant Headphones On The Subway, For Looking Like What Would've Happened If Jabba The Hutt Mated With Princess Leia.

Joe Biden Went To Brazil In An Effort To Try And Repair America's Relationship With Their Government. Biden Said, 'it's Great To Be Here In The Amazon. I've Always Wanted To See Where All The Books Come From.'

Trump Is Running For President And He's Wasting No Time Getting Down To Business. In Fact, Just After His Announcement He Demanded To See Jeb Bush's Birth Certificate.

At A Recent Education Summit, President Obama Admitted That He Can't Rap. When They Heard, Americans Said, 'good!'

Arizona Just Became The 15th State To Approve Medical Marijuana. So I Give It Three Days Before They Stop Caring About The Whole Immigration Thing.

There's A Growing Trend Of Older Americans Who Are Using Marijuana In Their Retirement. That Makes Sense Because Old People Are Always Talking About Their Joints.

Researchers Here In New York Created A Robot That Actually Passed A Self-awareness Test. So If You're Keeping Score, That's Robots: 1, Donald Trump, 0.

Thank You, Horseradish, For Being Neither A Radish Nor A Horse. What You Are Is A Liar Food.

A Man In Georgia Was Arrested For Burglary After He Left His Facebook Account Open On The Victim's Computer. But This Is Nice: He's Only Been In Jail A Few Hours, And His Status Already Says "in A Relationship!

I Can't Believe There Are So Many People Who Aren't Us.

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