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Time Magazine Interviewed Bill Clinton About The Current Presidential Campaign, And He Claimed He Had To Ask Hillary To Marry Him Three Times Before She Said Yes. Then Hillary Was Like, 'yeah. That Wasn't Me.'

-Jimmy Fallon

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Time Magazine Interviewed Bill

Jimmy Fallon

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Time Magazine Interviewed Bill Clinton About The Current Presidential Campaign, And He Claimed He Had To Ask Hillary To Marry Him Three Times Before She Said Yes. Then Hillary Was Like, 'yeah. That Wasn't Me.'

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London Olympics

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Center Of Attention

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Three Of Donald Trump's Kids Have Come Forward To Defend Him, And Called Him 'an Incredible Dad And Role Model.' Donald Was So Moved That He Wrote One Of Them Back Into His Will. 'i'm Not Gonna Tell You Which One . . . It's Donald Jr.'

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Newt Gingrich Plans To Announce His Campaign For President This Wednesday. I Don’t Know About His Chances. I Mean, I’m Not Saying Gingrich Peaked In The ‘90s, But His Campaign Is Being Sponsored By Tamagotchis And Crystal Pepsi.

A New Study Found That Most People Can't Go 10 Minutes Without Lying. But Since The Study Took 20 Minutes Nobody Knows What To Believe.

I Saw That On Small Business Saturday, The President Went Shopping At A Bookstore And Bought 17 Books, Including "the Laughing Monsters," "being Mortal," And "heart Of Darkness." Or As The Cashier Put It, "you Ok, Man? Maybe A Little 'chicken Soup For The Presidential Soul?'

I'm On So Late I'm Definitely The Last Seconds Of Anyone's Attention. So I Just Want To Give Them Something Dumb To Laugh At, So They Go, 'that's Funny,' Then Fall Asleep.

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I Like Doing Energetic Things.

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After A Six-year Battle, The Senate Will Vote Next Week To Begin Construction On The Keystone Xl Pipeline, Which Is An Oil Pipeline That Runs From Canada To The Gulf Coast. They're Hoping The Pipeline Will Provide Enough Oil To Cover Kim Kardashian's Next Photo Shoot.

Shouldn't Every Day Be Earth Day? I Mean, What Are Our Options?

President Obama Recently Sat Down With Espn And Said The Ncaa Should Reduce The Shot Clock For Basketball Games. Then He Said, 'and While We're At It, Is There Any Way They Can Reduce The 'being President Clock?'

I Haven't Been On A Date In Awhile. I Went On Maybe Two Dates In My Whole Life.

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Everyone Looks So Much Better When They Smile.

A New Study Found That Women Think Men Holding A Guitar Are More Attractive, Even If They Are Not Playing It. In A Related Story, Guys With An Accordion Will Die Alone.

Republican Candidate George Pataki Said His Dogs Would Give Him The Best Endorsement For Becoming Our Next President. Until They Hear Chris Christie Always Carries Bacon In His Pockets. (joke's On Them, Though, He's Never Going To Give Them Any Of That Pocket Bacon. It's What Gets Him Through Long Meetings!)

This Morning My Dad Called Me Up And Said, 'so, Tonight's Your Last Show, Huh.' And I Said, 'no, Dad, That's Someone Else.'

Sandler's Always Good. Tom Hanks Gave Me Some Good Advice.

I Just Feel Like People Like A Little Break. Especially At 12:37 At Night, You Go, Like, 'i'm Just Tired Of The Snarky Right Now. I Just Want To Lie Down And Have Somebody Make Me Laugh For An Hour. Entertain Me, And Then I'm Going To Sleep With A Smile On My Face.' That's My Job; That's What I Do.

In A New Interview, The President Discussed The Upcoming Election. He Said That Hillary Clinton Is Going To Do Great As A Presidential Candidate. When Asked How Biden Would Do, Obama Said, 'hillary's Going To Do Great.'

This Week Bill Clinton Tweeted A Photo Of Himself Reading George W. Bush's New Book '41.' Then George W. Bush Responded To That Post On Instagram. Then John Mccain Said 'you Two Are Hilarious' By Telegraph.

Joe Biden Was Spotted With A Bruise On His Face That Was Apparently Caused By His Dog. I Guess They Collided When They Both Went After The Same Tennis Ball.

The 'tonight Show' Didn't Seem Like An Actual Job That You Could Have. All You Remember Is You Watched Johnny Carson, And You Never Thought He Would Retire.

People Ask Me, Jimmy, Howd You Get Here Tonight. Lets Just Say It Involved A Two-hour Make-out Session With Elaine Stritch. It Got Pretty Heavy Actually, I Almost Had To Host.

I Like To See People Laugh Who Are Normally Serious.

An Internet Rumor Claims That John Kerry Had An Affair With A Young Woman. When Asked If This Was Similar To The Clinton-lewinsky Scandal, A Spokesman Said 'close, But No Cigar.'

There's A New Facebook App That Will Post A Final Status Update For You After You Die. That's Ridiculous. I Don't Need Someone To Change My Status When I Die. I Need Them To Water My Farmville Crops.

John Mccain Addressed Critics Who Believe He Will Be Too Old To Run For A Sixth Term In The Senate, Saying That He's Still Healthy And Ready To Go. Then People Around Mccain Said, 'why Is He Talking To That Mannequin?'

Arizona Just Became The 15th State To Approve Medical Marijuana. So I Give It Three Days Before They Stop Caring About The Whole Immigration Thing.

I Can't Believe There Are So Many People Who Aren't Us.

The Illinois Senate Passed A Bill On Wednesday To Legalize Medical Marijuana. The Bill Was Passed After The State Senator Said, 'come On, Dude, Pass It. Come On.'

Yesterday On Cnn, Joe Biden Said He Hasn't Made Up His Mind About Whether He'll Run For President In 2016. Which Raises The Question: 'who Was Raising That Question?'

Republican Ted Cruz Announced That He Will Run For President In 2016. So Finally, Carnival Is No Longer The Most Dangerous Cruise In America.

Here's A Little Bit Of Good News. The Coast Guard Says That Bp Is Now Catching Up To 630,000 Gallons Of Oil A Day. The Bad News Is That They're Capturing It With Ducks.

A Recent Study Shows That Standing At Work For Long Periods Of Time Is Bad For You, After Earlier Research Indicated That Sitting For Too Long At Work Is Bad For You. So Really The Only Thing We Know Is, Work Is Bad For You.

A New Study Found That Americans Are Exercising More Than Ever But Still Not Losing Much Weight. Not Good In Fact, It's All I Could Think About On My Jog To Dunkin' Donuts.

[writing A Joke] There Is No Team Of Writers. It's Just You In An Office, Staring At Yourself In The Mirror.

We Had The Guys From X Men 2 Do The Cameras. They Had A 360 Camera That Would Go From One Car, Up In The Air And Over To Another Car In A Continuous Shot While The Film Was Still Rolling, Going 90 Mph.

Thank You... Fantasy Football Draft, For Letting Me Know That Even In My Fantasies, I Am Bad At Sports.

We Have A Really, Really Great Dog. It Doesn't Bark. My Dog Almost Smiles, Which Is Weird. He's Just A Very Happy Dog.

President Obama Broke A World Record After He Reached A Million Followers On Twitter In Just Five Hours. The Only Guys Not Following Obama? His Secret Service Agents. They Lost Track Months Ago.

It's All About The Script. Reality Is Key To Me And Less Cutesy.

I Didn't Think It Was Going To Be This Fun. But Everything Just Gets Heightened When You Have A Baby. The Volume Gets Turned Up On Life. I Never Knew I Could Be This Happy, And That's The Truth.

I Like Video Games, I Like Tech, I Like Being Positive.

Department Store Santas Are Apparently Being Trained To Lower Children's Expectations About Toys Because Of The Recession. Yeah, It's Weird When You Ask Santa For A Train Set And He's Like, 'yeah, How 'bout A Bus Token?

A New Study Found That Women Gain More Weight After Marriage, But Men Gain More Weight After A Divorce. Yeah, The Divorce Usually Takes Place After Men Point Out That Women Gained More Weight After Marriage.

Vladimir Putin Celebrated His 63rd Birthday Today. He Had A Nice Party, But It Got Awkward When Two Of His Friends Got Him The Same Country.

On Tuesday, Utah Candidate Mia Love Became The First Black Republican Woman Elected To Congress. She's Also A Mormon. Yeah, A Black Female Republican Mormon. Even Unicorns Are Saying, 'not Buyin' It.'

There Are Reports That If Joe Biden Runs For President, He Would Promise To Serve For Only One Term - Because Nothing Says Confidence Like Promising Your Presidency Would Be Over Quickly.

Halloween Is Tomorrow. A Group Of Wine Experts Has Actually Come Up With A List Of The Best Wines To Pair With Halloween Candy. They Say, "white Wine Goes Great With Skittles, Red Wine Goes Great With Twix, And ... We're Alcoholics, Aren't We?

Republican Scott Brown Lost His Bid For Senate In New Hampshire Last Night, Two Years After He Was Voted Out As Senator In Massachusetts. When Asked What He Was Planning To Do Next, He Said, 'are They Still Looking For A Mayor In Toronto?'

I Saw That Donald Trump Is Selling His Penthouse Suite At The Trump Park Avenue Building Here In New York City For $21 Million. When Asked Why He's Selling It Now, Trump Said 'hey, Americans Seem To Be Buying Everything Else I'm Selling, So Why Not Strike While The Iron's Hot.'

The Big News Is The Midterm Elections. Last Night Republicans Picked Up A Dozen Seats In The House To Give Them Their Biggest Majority Since World War Ii. Or As They Put It, 'time To Party Like It's 1939!'

Listening Is More Important Than Talking. Just Hit Your Mark And Believe What You Say. Just Listen To People And React To What They Are Saying.

President Obama Finally Has His Own Personal Twitter Account. Even John Mccain Said, 'welcome To The Internet, Grandpa.'

The White House Is Worried About Joe Biden's Potential Run For President, And A Source Says They Fear That It Wouldn't Have The Right Outcome. That's Right, They Think He Might Win.

I Don't Shoot Guns. I Don't Know How To Do That. I Grew Upstate New York, So I Fought With My Fists.

Hillary Clinton Used A Private Email Account To Conduct Official State Business. Experts Say That If This Violates Any Federal Rules, Then She . . . Will Still Be President.

President Obama Awarded A National Medal Of Arts To Author Stephen King. You Know, Because If There's Anyone Who Can Relate To The Story Of A Guy Trapped In A Mansion That's Driving Him Insane, It's Obama.

One Of The Candidates At The Early Gop Debate, George Pataki, Said His Routine Before Every Debate Is To Drink A Diet Lemon Snapple Iced Tea And Pray. Which Is Also The Advice Chris Christie Gets From His Doctor.

Japan And South Korea Are On High Alert After North Korea Successfully Launched A Long-range Rocket. Both Countries Are Surprised By North Korea's Successful Launch, But Definitely Not As Surprised As North Korea.

A Man In Thailand Was Arrested With More Than 10,000 Pairs Of Stolen Underwear. Legal Experts Are Expecting A Brief Trial.

Hurricane Irene ... The Storm Was Huge News. In Fact, The Weather Channel Reported Something They Haven't Seen In Years. Viewers.

No-one Gets Beaten To Death Quite Like Hilary Swank

Success Is Just Happiness. When You Are Happy, That Is Success.

I Never Sing In The Shower. It's Very Dangerous.

Whenever I'm Stuck In Traffic, I Can't Help But Wonder, 'where Did The Creator Of The Jetsons Go, And Why Hasn't He Done Something About This?'

Jeb Bush Gave A Speech Yesterday. He Had A Pretty Rough Time. He Accidentally Said That Isis Has 200,000 Men Instead Of 20,000, And Then He Mispronounced The Name Of The Terrorist Group Boko Haram. So If History Has Taught Us Anything, Jeb Is Well On His Way To Winning The White House.

Donald Trump Said He Still Wants To Look More Closely At Obama's Birth Certificate To Make Sure That It's Real. Incidentally, President Obama Said The Same Exact Thing About Donald Trump's Hair.

I Didn't Act Like I Was There. I Just Got Into The Story.

This Weekend The Conservative Political Action Conference, Cpac, Featured Several Speakers Including Sarah Palin And Phil Robertson From 'duck Dynasty.' It Was A Good Weekend For Conservatives - And A Great Weekend For Wild Animals.

Big News From Last Night's Republican Debate, You Guys. It Turns Out George Bush Was Actually The Smart Texas Governor.

North Korea Has Declared Its Own Time Zone That They Are Calling 'pyongyang Time,' And Set Their Clocks Back Half An Hour. So If It's Say, 11:40 Here Now In New York, In North Korea It's Still 1925.

L.a., Its Nice, But I Think Of Sunshine And People On Rollerblades Eating Sushi. New York, I Think Of Nighttime, I Think Of Times Square And Broadway And Nightlife And The City That Never Sleeps.

A House Panel In Texas Has Approved Full Marijuana Legalization For The State. Yeah, Meaning Texas Could Go From Having Dude Ranches To 'dude, Ranches.'

Earlier This Week Donald Trump Gave An Interview With Cnn At A Winery He Owns In Virginia. It Turns Out Trump's Winery Makes Two Different Kinds Of Wine: White Wine And Not-white Wine.

I'm Not A Big Baseball Fan, To Be Honest.

Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes Are A Little Mean, But Tomorrow, He Won't Even Remember Them.

Wearing Shorts Is A Huge Perk. I Think It's Probably One Of The Reasons People Become Mailmen. You Also Get To Drive In That Vehicle That Should Be Illegal In The United States, Where The Steering Wheel Is On The Other Side. They Have No Rules! They Are The Punk Rock Of Government Jobs.

Thank You... 'real Housewives Of Atlanta,' For Demonstrating A Universal Truth: Idiots Like Me Will Always Watch Idiots Like You Fight On Tv. You Will Forever Be In My Tivo.

Politicians Are Really Getting Desperate. In Fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Sent Out A Final Fundraising Email To Democrats With The Subject Line, 'i'm Begging.' Because What Better Way To Show You're A Strong Leader Than Acting Like You're Drunk And Dialing Your Ex?

Majority Leader

Both President Obama And Former President George W. Bush Were Interviewed On 'face The Nation' Over The Weekend. President Bush Said There's A 50 Percent Chance His Brother Jeb Will Run For President In 2016. Then He Said, 'but There's An 80 Percent Chance He Won't.'

We Have First Lady Michelle Obama On The Show Tonight. As You'd Expect, Security's Been Pretty Tight. On My Way In I Got Five Pat-downs, And That Was Just From Joe Biden.

Don't Keep Reaching For The Stars Because You'll Just Look Like An Idiot Stretching That Way For No Reason.

Facebook Revealed That Ebola Was The Most Popular Facebook Topic In The U.s. This Year, With The World Cup Coming In Sixth. So Welcome To America, Where Even Ebola Is More Popular Than Soccer.

Hillary Clinton Said That Libyan Leader Moammar Gadhafi Is Engaged In 'theater.' Which Explains The New Strategy To Defeat Him: Casting Him As The Lead In 'spider-man: The Musical.'

Time Magazine Interviewed Bill Clinton About The Current Presidential Campaign, And He Claimed He Had To Ask Hillary To Marry Him Three Times Before She Said Yes. Then Hillary Was Like, 'yeah. That Wasn't Me.'

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