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Jeb Bush's Brother Neil Said That Their Mother Has 'come Around' To The Idea Of Jeb Running For President In 2016. Because If There's Anything That Says You're Qualified To Be President, It's Your Own Mom Saying, 'i Guess You Could Do It.'

-Jimmy Fallon

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Jeb Bush's Brother Neil

Jimmy Fallon

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Jeb Bush's Brother Neil Said That Their Mother Has 'come Around' To The Idea Of Jeb Running For President In 2016. Because If There's Anything That Says You're Qualified To Be President, It's Your Own Mom Saying, 'i Guess You Could Do It.'

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President Obama Awarded A National Medal Of Arts To Author Stephen King. You Know, Because If There's Anyone Who Can Relate To The Story Of A Guy Trapped In A Mansion That's Driving Him Insane, It's Obama.

Former New York Governor George Pataki May Enter The Race For President. It's Not Definite, But He Tweeted That He'll Announce His 2016 Plans On May 28 In New Hampshire. Well, What's He Gonna Do, Go To New Hampshire To Say He's Not Running? That's Like Getting Down On One Knee And Saying, 'i Think It's Time To See Other People.'

Many People Are Noting The Difference Between Hillary Clinton's Friendly Public Appearances And Her Blunt And Direct Twitter Account. Yeah, She's Nice In Person, And Mean On The Internet. You Know, Kinda Like Everyone.

'have Fun' Is My Message. Be Silly. You're Allowed To Be Silly. There's Nothing Wrong With It.

In An Interview Last Night, Rick Perry Criticized Mitt Romney For Flip-flopping On The Issues. Romney Said That Perry Has No Idea What He's Talking About. Then He Added, 'but He Does Know What He's Talking About.'

It Would've Been Amazing [to Work As Programmer]. You're Good At Numbers, You're Good With People, You Like To Wear Shorts In The Summertime.

That's Right, Mitt Romney Took On Evander Holyfield In A Boxing Match For Charity, And It Was A Pretty One-sided Fight. But It Was Still Not The Worst Boxing Match We've Seen This Month. This Weekend Vladimir Putin Played In An Exhibition Hockey Game With Some Former Nhl Players And Scored Eight Goals. Even Evander Holyfield And Mitt Romney Said, 'that Looks Fake.'

Mary-kate And Ashley Olsen Attended A Fundraiser For Hillary Clinton In New York City This Week. Hillary Told Them, 'good Luck With The Reboot Of Your '90s Show.' And They Said, 'thanks. Good Luck With Yours.'

The White House Is Apparently Pushing To Create More Latino-themed Landmarks. Now That's In Addition To Our Current Latino-themed Landmark, California.

A Massive Power Outage In Washington, D.c., Today Affected A Number Of Federal Buildings, Including The White House. When Asked When They Could Restore Power To The White House, Officials Said, '2016?'

The Bp President Said Yesterday That The Company Would Survive. That's Like Someone Running Over Your Dog And Saying, 'don't Worry, My Car Is Fine.'

Senate Democrats Blocked President Obama's Trade Bill Yesterday Because They're Worried It Could Hurt Jobs. It's Not An Issue For Republicans, Since They've All Found Work As Presidential Candidates.

Live Your Life By Doing Activities That Are Beneficial

In New York, There Are So Many Potholes, They're Like Craters On The Moon. That's Another Traffic Thing.

A Tell-all Book By David Axelrod, One Of President Obama's Former Strategists, Reveals That Obama Chose Joe Biden As His Vp Because Of His Energy And Enthusiasm. You Know, The Qualities You Look For In Someone Whose Main Job Is Traveling To State Funerals.

With More And More States Legalizing Marijuana, Companies Are Lining Up To Create The First Marijuana Breathalyzer. Officials Say The Toughest Part Is Getting Stoners To Stop Trying To Inhale Off The Breathalyzer.

President Obama Spent Election Day Away From Any Press Coverage, Attending Closed-door Meetings Inside The White House. But On The Bright Side, It Is Nice To See Some Doors Actually Closed At The White House. It's A Whole New Secret Service Security Thing.

I'm On So Late I'm Definitely The Last Seconds Of Anyone's Attention. So I Just Want To Give Them Something Dumb To Laugh At, So They Go, 'that's Funny,' Then Fall Asleep.

Mitt Romney Will Travel To London Where He Will Attend The Olympics Opening Ceremony. Of Course It's Going Ot Be Weird When They're Announcing All The Countries, And He's Like 'got A Bank Account There, Got One There, Two Bank Accounts There.'

London Olympics

Republican Ted Cruz Announced That He Will Run For President In 2016. So Finally, Carnival Is No Longer The Most Dangerous Cruise In America.

When You Were A Kid, It [work In Ibm] Seemed Like An Awesome Job. I'd Get To Go To Work And Have A Briefcase. I Loved How Dad Wore A Tie And Got A Car. I Didn't Know If All Those Things Came Together. I'd See My Dad Go Off To Work And We'd Wait For Him To Come Home, And We'd All Be Excited To See Him.

Donald Trump Announced That He's Running For President. During His Speech He Told The Crowd That If Elected He Would Be 'the Greatest Jobs President That God Ever Created.' Then God Said, 'hey, Don't Drag Me Into This Publicity Stunt.'

Officials From The Soccer Organization Fifa, Which Decides Which Cities Get To Host The World Cup, Are Accused Of Accepting Bribes When Making Their Decision. Of Course The Toughest Part For The Soccer Officials Was Taking Bribes Without Using Their Hands.

I Can't Believe There Are So Many People Who Aren't Us.

I Just Really Don't Like Being The Center Of Attention That Much. It's Kind Of Ironic.

Center Of Attention

Leno, Conan. They Are Both Really Funny. They Really Know How To Land One.

Congrats To Prince William And Kate Middleton, Who Welcomed A Baby Girl On Saturday. The Royal Baby Weighed Eight Pounds - Or Around 12 American Dollars.

According To A New Survey, Almost Half Of The Voters In Ohio, Florida, And Pennsylvania Say That They Do Not Trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans Immediately Got Together And Said, 'ok, This Is A Huge Opportunity For Us. How Are We Going To Screw It Up?'

A Political Action Committee Trying To Raise Money For A 2016 Hillary Clinton Campaign Is Selling “ready For Hillary” Champagne Glasses And Christmas Ornaments. Because If One Thing Improves The Holidays, It's Drinking Mixed With Politics.

Halloween Is Tomorrow. A Group Of Wine Experts Has Actually Come Up With A List Of The Best Wines To Pair With Halloween Candy. They Say, "white Wine Goes Great With Skittles, Red Wine Goes Great With Twix, And ... We're Alcoholics, Aren't We?

A 99-year-old Man Is Filing For Divorce From His 96-year-old Wife, Making Them The World's Oldest Divorced Couple. It's Got To Be Weird When A Divorce Lawyer Is Fighting For Your Kids To Get Custody Of You.

Some Areas Near Dallas Experienced A 3.5-magnitude Earthquake, Which Some Blame On Fracking. However, Scientists Say That It Was More Likely Aftershocks From Chris Christie Celebrating At The Cowboys Game.

President Obama Is Launching A New $6 Billion Space Policy That Will Ultimately Take Astronauts To Mars. Of Course, It's $6 Billion And $45 If The Astronauts Have A Carry-on.

After Michael Jordan Recently Criticized President Obama's Golf Game, Obama Responded By Saying That Jordan Should Spend More Time Thinking About His Basketball Team, The Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan Said, 'do You Really Want To Talk About Whose Team Got Crushed This Week?'

Republicans Also Took Control Of The Senate After Gaining Another Seven Seats. I Haven't Seen The Gop Get This Many Seats Since Chris Christie Made An Airline Reservation.

After Months Of Negotiations, Iran Has Finally Agreed To Reduce Its Nuclear Weapons Program. Which Was Great Until Putin Showed Up And Said, 'hi, I'm Here About Craigslist Ad For Nukes.'

Thank You... Fantasy Football Draft, For Letting Me Know That Even In My Fantasies, I Am Bad At Sports.

Republican Candidate George Pataki Said His Dogs Would Give Him The Best Endorsement For Becoming Our Next President. Until They Hear Chris Christie Always Carries Bacon In His Pockets. (joke's On Them, Though, He's Never Going To Give Them Any Of That Pocket Bacon. It's What Gets Him Through Long Meetings!)

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