Background Image

...

We Really Didn't Have The Option Of Being Couch Potatoes When I Was Growing Up. There Were Only Three Television Channels And The Only Kid's Programming Was On Saturday Morning. We Always Played Outside Until We Could Hear Mom Calling Us (not By Cell Phone But With Her Hands Cupped Around Her Mouth) That It Was Dinner Time.

-Jeff Foxworthy

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

We Really Didn't Have

Jeff Foxworthy

...

We Really Didn't Have The Option Of Being Couch Potatoes When I Was Growing Up. There Were Only Three Television Channels And The Only Kid's Programming Was On Saturday Morning. We Always Played Outside Until We Could Hear Mom Calling Us (not By Cell Phone But With Her Hands Cupped Around Her Mouth) That It Was Dinner Time.

Views: 2978

Topic

More From Jeff Foxworthy

You Might Be A Redneck If You Own All The Components Of Soap On A Rope Except The Soap.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Vehicle Has A Two-tone Paint Job - Primer Red And Primer Gray.

The More Excited The Rooster Gets, The Higher His Voice Goes. He's Got A Little Bit Of A Barney Fife Quality To Him.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Would Rather Go The Racetrack Than The Kennedy Center.

You Might Be A Redneck If There Are More Than Ten Lawsuits Currently Pending Against Your Dog.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stood In Line To Get Your Picture Taken With A Freak Of Nature.

If You Own A Home With Wheels On It And Several Cars Without, You Just Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Dog Catcher Calls For A Backup Unit When He Visits Your House.

You Might Be A Redneck If On Your First Date You Had To Ask Your Dad To Borrow The Keys To The Tractor.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Best Way To Keep Things Cold Is To Leave'em In The Shade.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Kids Are Going Hungry Tonight Because You Just Had To Have Those Yosemite Sam Mud Flaps.

If Someone At Fleet Farm Offers You Assistance And They Don't Work There You Might Live In Wisconsin.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your 'huntin Dog' Cost More Than The Truck You Drive Him Around In.

The Only Negative About Doing Stand-up Is That You're On The Road By Yourself. When You're On The Road With Comics We Just Crack Each Other Up Every Night Going, "can You Believe They're Paying Us To Do This? They're Crazy.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Pork And Beans To Be A Gourmet Food.

You Don't Get Married To Get Sex. Getting Married To Get Sex Is Like Buying A 747 To Get Free Peanuts.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think People That Send Out Graduation Announcements Are Show-offs.

Sacrificing Myself To Kill Hilary Clinton Was The Best Thing I Could Possibly Do For Humanity

You Might Be A Redneck If Directions To Your House Include Turn Off The Paved Road.

You Might Be A Redneck If More Than One Living Relative Is Named After A Southern Civil War General.

Find Something In Life That You Love Doing. If You Make A Lot Of Money, That's A Bonus, And If You Don't, You Still Won't Hate Going To Work.

It Seems Like Movies That Have Heart To Them Always Do Well, And They Find Their Audience.

If The Gas Pedal On Your Car Is Shaped Like A Bare Foot, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If An Episode Of Walker, Texas Ranger Changed Your Life.

To Me, The Media In New York And La Have Always Missed The Essence Of This Country.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite Hunting Dog Has A Bigger Tombstone Than Your Grandfather.

I Know If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy.

You Might Be A Redneck If Getting A Package From Your Post Office Requires A Full Tank Of Gas In The Truck.

The Things That I'm Talking About Not Knowing, They're Not Mysteries Of The Universe; It's Just Stuff I Thought I Would Know By The Time I Was Thirty-nine.

I Tried Real Hard To Play Golf, And I Was So Bad At It They Would Have To Check Me For Ticks At The End Of The Round Because I'd Spent About Half The Day In The Woods.

It's Sad When You See Somebody That Talented That Passes Away And Doesn't Have To.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Look Upon A Family Reunion As A Chance To Meet 'ms. Right

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Mother Has Been Involved In A Fist Fight At A High School Sports Event.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Coffee Table Used To Be A Telephone Cable Spool.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Anniversary Present Was Getting The Septic Tank Pumped.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Handkerchief Doubles As Your Shirt Sleeve.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Receptionist Checks The Rat Traps At Your Place Of Business.

If You Ahve Ever Unloaded Your Pickup By Backing Up Really Fast And Slamming On The Brakes, You Might Be A Redneck.

That's Just Something Instinctual Within Men. We Always Feel Like We've Got To Protect Our Stuff. Even If It's Not Worth Protecting, We Want To Protect It. You Ever Seen People Who Have Like A Piece Of Crap Pinto With A Club On The Steering Wheel. Somebody Breaks The Window, Steals The Club, Leaves The Pinto In A Pile Of Glass.

If You Think The Last Four Words To The National Anthem Are " Gentleman, Start Your Engines", You Might Be A Redneck.

I Wish I Could Relate To The People I'm Related To.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Grandmother Can Correctly Execute The Sleeper Hold.

Pride Is The First Step In People Unraveling And Companies Unraveling And Relationships Unraveling.

Now, It's True I Married My Wife For Her Looks... But Not The Ones She's Been Givin' Me Lately.

You Might Be A Redneck If Exxon And Conoco Have Offered You Royalties For Your Hair.

You Might Be A Redneck If There Are Four Or More Cars Up On Blocks In The Front Yard.

You Might Be A Redneck If...you Bought A Vcr So You Could Tape Wrestling While You Are At Work.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Entire Family Has Ever Sat Around Waiting For A Call From The Governor To Spare A Loved One.

I've Got Nothing Against Tattoos. I Don't Have One Myself. If I Did, It Would Be Right There Next To My Watch. It Would Say "your Wife's Birthday Is August 2nd, Your Anniversary Is September 18th, Don't Let Ron White Drive Your Car Again."

If You're A Man And You've Ever Been Antique Shopping During A Big Football Game, You're Either Gay Or Married.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Worn A Dress That Is Strapless With A Bra That Isn't.

I Got My Wife A Mood Ring. It Works Real Good! When Shes In A Good Mood It Turns Blue, But When Shes In A Bad Mood Theres A Red Mark Across My Forehead

Thank God I'm At That Point In My Career Where I Don't Have To Take Stuff That I Don't Really Want To Do.

If Your Neighbors Think You're A Detective Because A Cop Always Brings You Home, You Might Be A Redneck.

Hell, When I Was In High School, A "drive-by Shooting" Meant Somebody Had Their Rear End Hanging Out A Car Window!

You Might Be A Redneck If You Were Shooting Pool When Your Kids Were Born.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Need An Estimate From Your Barber Before You Get A Haircut.

You Might Be A Redneck If When You Run Out Of Gas, You Put Gin In The Gas Tank.

I'll Just Have Itchy, Watery Eyes!

Watching A Baby Being Born Is A Little Like Watching A Wet St. Bernard Coming In Through The Cat Door.

I Have Never Been Jealous. Not Even When My Dad Finished Fifth Grade A Year Before I Did.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Antenna On Your Truck Is A Danger To Low Flying Airplanes.

I Hope Someday We Can Stamp Out Illiteracy In America. Of Course You'll Have To Kill Alot Of My Relatives To Do It.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Refused To Watch The Academy Awards Since Smokey And The Bandit Was Snubbed For Best Picture.

I Turned Down A Movie This Summer Because It Was Nine Weeks In Vancouver And My Oldest Daughter Is 14. I've Got Four More Summers With Her. I'm Not Giving Away Nine Weeks Of Her Summer To Go Do A Silly Movie.

Please Don't Get Me Wrong Here. I'm Not Making Fun Of Old People. In Fact I Think That's The Goal Of Everybody Here Tonite. We All Want To Be An Old Person Someday.

You Might Be A Redneck If...you Think That John Deere Green, Ford Blue, And Primer Gray Are The Three Of The Primary Colors.

My Wife Is Like, You Finally Get Your Own Tv Show, You Can Have Any Kind Of Car You Want And You Get A Darned Truck. But My Brother And I Have The Same Kind Of Truck Now.

People Would Say, Can We Develop A Sitcom Around You? And I Would Say, Not Interested. I'm Very Happy Doing Standup And Writing And Taking My Kids To School.

You Might Be A Redneck If It's Easier To Spray Weed Killer On Your Lawn Than Mow It.

You Might Be A Redneck If Three Quarters Of The Clothes You Own Have Logos On Them.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think Silence Of The Lambs Is What Happens When Larry Walks Out To The Barn.

Little Girls Love Dolls. They Just Don't Love Dolls Clothes

You Might Be A Redneck If The First Words Out Of Your Mouth Every Time You See Friends Are Howdy!, Hey! Or How Y'all Doin'?

Have You Ever Seen People So Ugly That You Have To Get Someone Else To Verify It?

My Wife Is So Analytical With Raising Kids, And I Am Not. My Feeling Is If They Turn Out Good, Then That Means I Was A Good Daddy And Put A Lot Of Effort Into It. If They Turn Out Bad, It Means They Took After Her Side Of The Family.

You Take A Normal Guy, Give Him A Wife, Give Them Time, And You've Got An Idiot!

I've Been To All 50 States, And Traveled This Whole Country, And 90 Percent Of The People Are Good Folks. The Rest Of Them Take After The Other Side Of The Family.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think The Mountain Men In Deliverance Were Just Misunderstood.

As A Comedian I Appreciate Every Kind Of Comedy. You Decide For Yourself What You're Going To Do.

I Just Love People. I Love This Country. I Am The American Dream. I Grew Up By The Airport With A Dirt Yard. Never In My Life Should I Have Been A Success. So That's What I Love About This Country [usa], Is You Get Out There And You Have The Opportunity And You Work Hard At It, And You Can Be A Success.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Refer To The Time You Won A Free Case Of Oil As The Day My Ship Came In.

You Might Be A Redneck If... The Blue Book Value Of Your Truck Goes Up And Down Depending On How Much Gas It Has In It.

Women In Bed Are Like Diesel Engines. What I Mean By That Is, It May Take Them A While To Get Going, But When You Do, They Can Go For A Long, Long Time. Whereas Men Are Like... Bottle Rockets.

You Can Call Us Rednecks If You Want. We're Not Offended, 'cause We Know What We're All About. We Get Up And Go To Work, We Get Up And Go To Church, And We Get Up And Go To War When Necessary.

For The First Time Ever I Was Taking The Family On The Road. We Stayed With My In-laws, Which On Life's List Of Experiences Ranks Right Below Sitting In A Tub Full Of Scissors.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Most Expensive Shoes Have Numbers On The Heels.

When You're Young And You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex You Take Sex Everytime. You Start Getting Older, You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex, You Choose Sleep And Just Hope You Have A Dream About Sex.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have To Check In The Bottom Of Your Shoe For Change So You Can Get Grandma A New Plug Of Tobacco.

The Thing About That Singles Apartment Is You Never Had To Clean It Up... Until The Day You Got The Security Deposit Back. You're Arguing With The Landlord... 'no Sir, The Back Door Was Missing When We Moved In Here! The Pizzas Were Always On The Ceiling!'

You Might Be A Redneck If You Dated Your Daddy's Current Wife In High School.

My Father-in-law Gets Up At 5 O'clock In The Morning And Watches The Discovery Channel. I Don't Know Why There's This Big Rush To Do This.

As A Comic, You Learn To Use Your Voice Because You Don't Have The Benefit Of Visual Things.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Go Christmas Shopping For Your Mom, Sister, And Girlfriend, And You Only Need To Buy One Gift.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Hood And One Door Are A Different Color From The Rest Of Your Car.

If You Think A Quaterhorse Is That Ride In Front Of Kmart.. You Might Be A Rednneck

Kids Aren't Suppose To Have Cancer, They're Suppose To Have A Future.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Your License Plate Personalized Because Your Dad Made It In Prison.

We Really Didn't Have The Option Of Being Couch Potatoes When I Was Growing Up. There Were Only Three Television Channels And The Only Kid's Programming Was On Saturday Morning. We Always Played Outside Until We Could Hear Mom Calling Us (not By Cell Phone But With Her Hands Cupped Around Her Mouth) That It Was Dinner Time.

You Might Be A Redneck If You're A Lite Beer Drinker, Because You Start Drinking When It Gets Light.

You Might Be A Redneck If A Full-grown Ostrich Has Fewer Feathers Than Your Cowboy Hat.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Grandfather Completely Executes The Pull My Finger Trick At The Family Reunion.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Home Shopping Channel Operator Recognizes Your Voice.

It's Like Cuddling With A Butterball Turkey.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Saved Lots Of Money On Your Honeymoon By Going Deer Hunting.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Hauled A Can Of Paint To The Top Of A Water Tower To Defend Your Sister's Honor.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think A Chain Saw Is A Musical Instrument.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have A Very Special Baseball Cap, Just For Formal Occasions.

I Don't Necessarily Think Of It As Southern Comedy. I Just Think I'm A Comedian And I Have A Southern Accent.

If You Have A Complete Set Of Salad Bowls And They All Say Kool Whip On The Side, You Might Be A Redneck.

I Don't Know Why My Brain Has Kept All The Words To The Gilligan's Island Theme Song And Has Deleted Everything About Triangles.

If You Have More Fish On Your Wall Than Pictures, You Might Be A Redneck.

Any Job That Posts A Price List For Your Body Parts Is A Bad Job.

That's The Great Thing About A Tractor. You Can't Really Hear The Phone Ring.

You May Be A Redneck If . . . You Think You Are An Entrepreneur Because Of The "dirt For Sale" Sign In The Front Yard.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite T-shirt Is Offensive In Thirteen States.

Look At Where Jesus Went To Pick People. He Didn't Go To The Colleges; He Got Guys Off The Fishing Docks.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stolen Toilet Paper From A Public Restroom.

I Used To Say That Whenever People Heard My Southern Accent, They Always Wanted To Deduct 100 Iq Points.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Hammer Bottle Caps Into The Frame Of Your Front Door To Make It Look Nice.

Sophisticated People Invest Their Money In Stock Portfolios. Rednecks Invest Their Money In Commemorative Plates.

It's A Weird Sensation To Be Mad And Learning At The Same Time.

Little Girls Love Dolls. They Just Don't Love Doll Clothes. We've Got Four Thousand Dolls And Ain't One Of Them Got A Stitch Of Clothes On.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your House Doesn't Have Curtains, But Your Truck Does.

I've Gotten To The Point I Won't Even Watch The 11 O'clock News. You Just Walk Away From It Thinking How Bad Everything Is.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Primary Source Of Income Is The Pawn Shop.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider A Good Tan To Be The Back Of Your Neck And The Left Arm Below The Shirt Sleeve.

As An Actor, There Was That Freedom Of Not Having To Worry About Lights Or Marks Or Other People. It Was Just Going Out There And Having Fun With The Character.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have A Picture Of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Or Elvis Over Your Fireplace.

[about Sex And Being Married] It's Like Being The National Guard, We May Not Be Seeing As Much Action As The Front Line, But We Are Living To Fight Another Day.

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.

You Might Be A Redneck If You See A Sign That Says Say No To Crack And It Reminds You To Pull Your Jeans Up.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Bumper Sticker Says, My Other Car Is A Combine.

How Is A Redneck Divorce Similar To A Tornado? You Know That Somewhere, Somehow, Someone Is Gonna Lose A Trailer.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have A Color Coordinating Rope That Ties Down Your Car Hood.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Satellite Dish Payment Delays Buying School Clothes For The Kids.

All These Years I've Sat In Airports And Kind Of Drawn People And Put Like Far Side Captions On Them.

If You Ever Start Feeling Like You Have The Goofiest, Craziest, Most Dysfunctional Family In The World, All You Have To Do Is Go To A State Fair. Because Five Minutes At The Fair, You'll Be Going, 'you Know, We're Alright. We Are Dang Near Royalty.'

If You Don't Have Anything Good To Say About Someone, You Must Be Talking About Hillary Clinton.

Talking With Gary Busey Is Kinda Like Sex. You Want To Do It, You Just Don't Want To Be Alone When You Do It.

You Have To Change Those Diapers Every Day. When Those Directions On The Side Of The Pampers Box Say, 'holds 6-12 Pounds' They're Not Kidding!

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stared At A Can Of Orange Juice Because It Said Concentrate.

I Would Love For Someone To Offer Me A Serious Part In Something. I Don't Know If I Could Even Pull It Off, But I Would Like To Be The Cowboy That Rides Off And Someone Shoots Him Off The Horse In The Middle Of Town. Just A Serious Role. It Wouldn't Have To Be A Big One.

You Might Be A Redneck If Santa Claus Refuses To Let Your Kids Sit In His Lap.

I'm Very Lucky In That I've Gotten To Do A Lot Of Things. But If You Ever Put A Gun To My Head And Said, "you Can Only Do One," I'd Think It Would Be Stand-up. I Think It's The Coolest Job In The World.

I Had To Perform At The White House For The President, That's Always Kind Of A Weird Set To Try To Put Together.

Nowadays You Can't Even Spank Your Kids. No, Gotta Give 'em A Time Out. My Dad Would Take Time Out Of His Busy Day... To Whip Our Ass.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Father Encourages You To Quit School Because Larry Has An Opening On The Lube Rack.

What I Hated Was Doing What Somebody In La Thought Jeff Foxworthy Ought To Do.

The Designated Driver Program, It's Not A Desirable Job. But If You Ever Get Sucked Into Doing It, Drop Them Off At The Wrong House.

You Find Out That All This Stuff You've Accumulated, You Could Care Less About It. It's Just The Relationships That Matter.

You Might Be A Redneck If Somebody Hollers Ho-down And Your Girlfriend Hits The Floor.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Sophisticated Show-biz Cousin Is A Rodeo Clown.

You Might Be A Redneck If Every Electrical Outlet In Your House Is A Fire Hazard.

Changing A Diaper Is A Lot Like Getting A Present From Your Grandmother - You're Not Sure What You've Got But You're Pretty Sure You're Not Going To Like It.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Missed 5th Grade Graduation Because You Had Jury Duty.

Buying A Used Rental Car Is Kind Of Like Going To A House Of Ill Repute Looking For A Wife. Anything That's Been Driven That Hard By That Many People, You Really Don't Want To Put Your Key In It.

Did You Know Babies Are Nauseated By The Smell Of A Clean Shirt? You Put On Something From The Cleaners, They're Gonna Spit Up Just Like That. My Wardrobe Looks Like We Have Condors Living In Our Yard.

I Really Don't Require A Whole Lot In Life.

You Might Be A Redneck If Taking Your Wife On A Cruise Means Circling The Dairy Queen.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Had To Remove A Toothpick For Wedding Pictures.

My Whole Career Can Be Summed Up With 'ignorance Is Bliss.' When You Do Not Know Better, You Do Not Really Worry About Failing.

A Lot Of People Up North, They Think Everybody From The South Is Married To Their Sister And Has Seen A Ufo. I Told Them, 'i'm Just Dating My Sister And Couldn't Swear That It Wasn't A Weather Balloon.'

You Might Be A Redneck If Going To The Bathroom Involves Shoes And A Flashlight.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That The Styrofoam Cooler Is The Greatest Invention Of All Time.

You Might Be A Redneck If...the Most Serious Loss From The Earthquake Was Your Conway Twitty Record Collection.

You Know You're A Redneck If Your Home Has Wheels And Your Car Doesn't.

If Your Mother Doesn't Remove The Marlboro From Her Lips Before Telling The State Trooper To Kiss Her Ass, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If During Your Senior Year You And Your Mother Had Homeroom Together.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Dogs Name Is Miller Light

You Might Be A Redneck If Motel 6 Turns Off The Lights When They See You Coming.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Salvation Army Declines Your Mattress.

You Know, I Remember Career Day In High School. I Remember Plumbers And Lawyers... I Don't Remember A Booth Where You Could Sign Up To Learn How To Shoot Chickens Out Of A Cannon At The Windshield Of An Airplane, 'cause There Would Have Been A Line At My School To Do That!

I Talked To Larry The Cable Guy The Other Day. Larry's Made More Money Than 10 People Should Ever Make In A Lifetime. He Was Excited Because He'd Gone Over To The Livestock Auction And Bought 20 New Feeder Pigs.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Every Episode Of Hee Haw On Tape.

You Might Be A Redneck If...you've Been On Tv More Than Times Describing The Sound Of A Tornado.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Biggest Fashion Risk You Take Is Which Plaid You'll Wear To The 4-h Fair.

We Sing About God Because We Believe In Him. We Are Not Trying To Offend Anybody, But The Evidence That We Have Seen Of Him In Our Small Little Lives Trumps Your Opinion About Whether Or Not He Exists.

If Your Thighs Look Like The Hood Of A White Toyota Minivan After A Hailstorm, You Aren't Juicy.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Can Amuse Yourself For More Than An Hour With A Fly Swatter.

Country Music Is About New Love And It's About Old Love.

Comics Don't Usually Have Very Long Careers, And I'm 22 Years Into This.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Flowers Planted In A Bathroom Appliance In Your Front Yard.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That Beef Jerky And Moon Pies Are Two Of The Major Food Groups.

Louisiana Has The Best Food On The Planet If You Don't Really Ask Too Much About What You're Eating.

As An Individual, As A Household, You Can't Spend More Money Than You're Bringing In. You Can Do It For A Little While, But You End Up Going Broke And You End Up Losing Everything You Have. That Is The Path That We're On As A Country, And It Scares Me To Death.

Losing Everything

People Should See Your Faith. If All You Do Is Talk About Your Faith And People Don't See It, But They Ought To See It In The Way You Treat Your Family, You Treat Your Friends, You Treat Your Community.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Wheelbarrow Breaks And It Takes Four Relatives To Figure Out How To Fix It.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Tobacco Chewers In Your Family Aren't Just Men.

By The Time We Get To Church, I Need Church Cuz I've Been Yelled At By Everyone In The Family.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Calls You Over To Help, Cause She Has A Flat Tire On Her House.

If Your Working Television Sits On Top Of Your Non-working Television, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Parakeet Knows The Phrase Open Up, Police!

I Always Wore Cowboy Boots And Drove A Truck, And Talked Like This. So Everywhere I Would Go In Comedy People Would Say, "foxworthy, You Ain't Nothing But A Redneck From Georgia!" It Kind Of Became A Formula Joke.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Use A Radiator Hose To Fix Your Kitchen Sink.

Country Music Is About New Love And It's About Old Love. It's About Gettin' Drunk And Gettin' Sober. It's About Leavin' And It's About Comin' Home. It's Real Music Sung By Real People For Real People, The People That Make Up The Backbone Of This Country. You Can Call Us Rednecks If You Want. We're Not Offended, 'cause We Know What We're All About. We Get Up And Go To Work, We Get Up And Go To Church, And We Get Up And Go To War When Necessary.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Ufo Hotline Limits You To One Call A Day.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Classes At School Were Cancelled Because The Path To The Restroom Was Flooded.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Can Tell Your Age By The Number Of Rings In The Bathtub.

Trending Author

Haile Gebrselassie

Michael Badnarik

Stefano Langone

Category