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I Just Love People. I Love This Country. I Am The American Dream. I Grew Up By The Airport With A Dirt Yard. Never In My Life Should I Have Been A Success. So That's What I Love About This Country [usa], Is You Get Out There And You Have The Opportunity And You Work Hard At It, And You Can Be A Success.

-Jeff Foxworthy

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I Just Love People.

Jeff Foxworthy

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I Just Love People. I Love This Country. I Am The American Dream. I Grew Up By The Airport With A Dirt Yard. Never In My Life Should I Have Been A Success. So That's What I Love About This Country [usa], Is You Get Out There And You Have The Opportunity And You Work Hard At It, And You Can Be A Success.

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Because Criminals Know That When They See A House With 2 Foot Tall Grass, A Dog On A Chain, And An Engine Hanging From A Tree, A Gun Lives In That House. And If You Want To Know What Kind, Just Break In At 2 In The Morning.

My Wife Is Like, You Finally Get Your Own Tv Show, You Can Have Any Kind Of Car You Want And You Get A Darned Truck. But My Brother And I Have The Same Kind Of Truck Now.

Nothing In Life Prepares You To Be Famous.

Pride Is The First Step In People Unraveling And Companies Unraveling And Relationships Unraveling.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think The O.j. Trial Was The Big Sunkist And Minutemaid Taste Test.

You Might Be A Redneck If An Expired License Plate Means Another Decoration For Your Living Room Wall.

As A Comic, You Learn To Use Your Voice Because You Don't Have The Benefit Of Visual Things.

If You Know All 4 Seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter And Road Construction, You May Live In Canada

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stolen Toilet Paper From A Public Restroom.

[about Sex And Being Married] It's Like Being The National Guard, We May Not Be Seeing As Much Action As The Front Line, But We Are Living To Fight Another Day.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Handkerchief Doubles As Your Shirt Sleeve.

You Might Be A Redneck If...you Bought A Vcr So You Could Tape Wrestling While You Are At Work.

If You Have A Complete Set Of Salad Bowls And They All Say Kool Whip On The Side, You Might Be A Redneck.

I Had To Perform At The White House For The President, That's Always Kind Of A Weird Set To Try To Put Together.

If You're A Man And You've Ever Been Antique Shopping During A Big Football Game, You're Either Gay Or Married.

Now, It's True I Married My Wife For Her Looks... But Not The Ones She's Been Givin' Me Lately.

You May Be A Redneck If... Your Lifetime Goal Is To Own A Fireworks Stand.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Hammer Bottle Caps Into The Frame Of Your Front Door To Make It Look Nice.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Keep A Fly Swatter In The Front Seat Of The Car So You Can Reach Your Kids In The Back Seat Of The Car.

If Men Have A Smell It's Usually An Accident.

When You Get To Your Third Millionth Frequent Flyer Mile, I Think Something Snaps In Your Brain.

If You've Ever Made Change In The Offering Plate, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Tobacco Chewers In Your Family Aren't Just Men.

You Might Be A Redneck If...your Only Condiment On The Dining Room Table Is The Economy Size Bottle Of Ketchup.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Look Upon A Family Reunion As A Chance To Meet 'ms. Right

If Someone At Fleet Farm Offers You Assistance And They Don't Work There You Might Live In Wisconsin.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Own At Least 20 Baseball Hats.

I Think With A Comedian, When You Get To The Point Of A Greatest Hits, It's Kind Of An Acknowledgment That You've Been Doing Stand-up A Long Time, Which Not Very Many People Do.

You Might Be A Redneck If During Your Senior Year You And Your Mother Had Homeroom Together.

The Designated Driver Program, It's Not A Desirable Job. But If You Ever Get Sucked Into Doing It, Drop Them Off At The Wrong House.

I Would Love For Someone To Offer Me A Serious Part In Something. I Don't Know If I Could Even Pull It Off, But I Would Like To Be The Cowboy That Rides Off And Someone Shoots Him Off The Horse In The Middle Of Town. Just A Serious Role. It Wouldn't Have To Be A Big One.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Flowers Planted In A Bathroom Appliance In Your Front Yard.

Being A Comedian, People Tell Me Stuff They Shouldn't Tell Their Therapist.

I Say, If Everybody In This House Lives Where It's God First, Friends And Family Second And You Third, We Won't Ever Have An Argument.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Dated Your Daddy's Current Wife In High School.

People Would Say, Can We Develop A Sitcom Around You? And I Would Say, Not Interested. I'm Very Happy Doing Standup And Writing And Taking My Kids To School.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Gives You Tips On How To Sneak Booze Into Sporting Events.

If The Veins In The Back Of Your Legs Look Like The Street Map Of Greater Pittsburgh, You Ain't Nobody's Babydoll.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have To Check In The Bottom Of Your Shoe For Change So You Can Get Grandma A New Plug Of Tobacco.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Local Ambulance Has A Trailer Hitch.

Comics Don't Usually Have Very Long Careers, And I'm 22 Years Into This.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think A Chain Saw Is A Musical Instrument.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Give Your Dad A Gallon Of Pepto-bismol For His Birthday.

I Don't Know Why My Brain Has Kept All The Words To The Gilligan's Island Theme Song And Has Deleted Everything About Triangles.

I'm Very Lucky In That I've Gotten To Do A Lot Of Things. But If You Ever Put A Gun To My Head And Said, "you Can Only Do One," I'd Think It Would Be Stand-up. I Think It's The Coolest Job In The World.

You Might Be A Redneck If... The Blue Book Value Of Your Truck Goes Up And Down Depending On How Much Gas It Has In It.

When I Did The Sitcom I Was Too Naive. I Thought, Well, They Know What They're Talking About, Let's Do That.

My Father-in-law Gets Up At 5 O'clock In The Morning And Watches The Discovery Channel. I Don't Know Why There's This Big Rush To Do This.

I Notice My Wife When She's On The Phone With Her Friends, Man They Will Share Every Animate Details Of Their Lives With Each Other. See Men Once We Become Friends With Another Man We May Never Say Another Word To Him, Unless There's Valuable Information That Needs To Be Exchanged. Things Like "hey Jim, Your Shirt's On Fire."

If You Think The Last Four Words To The National Anthem Are " Gentleman, Start Your Engines", You Might Be A Redneck.

My Grandma's The Most Careful, Safe Driver In The World. You Put Her In A Rental Car, And She's Doing Doughnuts In The K-mart Parking Lot!

It's Not My Dreams That Get Me In Trouble, It's What My Wife Dreams I Did. My Wife Punched Me In The Middle Of The Night; I Woke Up And Went Oww! What Was That For?, And She Goes I Dreamt You Were Making Out With Faith Hill. I Said I Wasn't Dreaming Anything! Send Her Over To My Dreams, And We'll Both Be Happy.

It's A Weird Sensation To Be Mad And Learning At The Same Time.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Good Deed For The Month Was Hiding Your Brother For A Few Days.

If Most People Wanted To Be Incognito, They Put On A Fake Beard Or Mustache. If I Wanted To I'd Just Shave Mine Off.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Saved Lots Of Money On Your Honeymoon By Going Deer Hunting.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your 'huntin Dog' Cost More Than The Truck You Drive Him Around In.

We Probably Stagnate Our Children's Emotional Growth By Not Letting Them Have Some Separation From Us.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Watch Cartoons Long After Your Kids Get Bored.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Refused To Watch The Academy Awards Since Smokey And The Bandit Was Snubbed For Best Picture.

You Might Be A Redneck If Every Electrical Outlet In Your House Is A Fire Hazard.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Boat Has Not Left The Driveway In 15 Years.

You Know That You Are A Teacher When You Spend More Money On School Stuff Than You Do On Your Own Children.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Been Fired From A Construction Job Because Of Your Appearance.

You Might Be A Redneck If When You Leave Your House, You Are Followed By Federal Agents Of The Bureau Of Alcohol Tobacco And Firearms, And The Only Thing You Worry About Is If You Can Lose Them Or Not.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Can't Get Married To Your Sweetheart Because There Is A Law Against It.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Antenna On Your Truck Is A Danger To Low Flying Airplanes.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Biggest Ambition In Life Is To Git That Big Ole Coon. The One What Hangs 'round Over Yonder, Back'ah Bubba's Barn.

If Your Wife's Hairdo Has Ever Been Ruined By A Ceiling Fan, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If...the Most Serious Loss From The Earthquake Was Your Conway Twitty Record Collection.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Parakeet Knows The Phrase Open Up, Police!

You Might Be A Redneck If You're Still Scalping Tickets After The Concert Is Over.

If Your Neighbors Think You're A Detective Because A Cop Always Brings You Home, You Might Be A Redneck.

Some People Like To Keep Their Grass Cut Really Short, So They Can See The Intruders Coming. Keep Those Kill Zones Open. I Say Let The Grass Grow Tall So They Don't Know There's A House Behind It. Some Call It Lazy, I Say It's Thinking.

There's No Down Time Any More.

Ladies Have Come Up With All These Expressions To Reassure Men. "oh, Honey, It's Not The Size Of The Ship, It's The Motion Of The Ocean." That May Be True, But It Takes A Long Time To Get To England In A Rowboat.

We Sing About God Because We Believe In Him. We Are Not Trying To Offend Anybody, But The Evidence That We Have Seen Of Him In Our Small Little Lives Trumps Your Opinion About Whether Or Not He Exists.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Go To A Tupperware Party For A Haircut.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite Christmas Present Was A Painting On Black Velvet.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Hood And One Door Are A Different Color From The Rest Of Your Car.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Primary Source Of Income Is The Pawn Shop.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your House Doesn't Have Curtains, But Your Truck Does.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Tore Her Best Dress Coon Hunting.

You Can Call Us Rednecks If You Want. We're Not Offended, 'cause We Know What We're All About. We Get Up And Go To Work, We Get Up And Go To Church, And We Get Up And Go To War When Necessary.

You Might Be A Redneck If...your Belt Buckle Weighs More Than Three Pounds.

You Might Be A Redneck If An Episode Of Walker, Texas Ranger Changed Your Life.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Had To Remove A Toothpick For Wedding Pictures.

If You Ever Start Feeling Like You Have The Goofiest, Craziest, Most Dysfunctional Family In The World, All You Have To Do Is Go To A State Fair. Because Five Minutes At The Fair, You'll Be Going, 'you Know, We're Alright. We Are Dang Near Royalty.'

You Might Be A Redneck If You Use A Radiator Hose To Fix Your Kitchen Sink.

You Might Be A Redneck If... Your High School Basketball Game Got Rained Out.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think Silence Of The Lambs Is What Happens When Larry Walks Out To The Barn.

I Talked To Larry The Cable Guy The Other Day. Larry's Made More Money Than 10 People Should Ever Make In A Lifetime. He Was Excited Because He'd Gone Over To The Livestock Auction And Bought 20 New Feeder Pigs.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite T-shirt Is Offensive In Thirteen States.

You Might Be A Redneck If Motel 6 Turns Off The Lights When They See You Coming.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Most Expensive Shoes Have Numbers On The Heels.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Bumper Sticker Says, My Other Car Is A Combine.

You Might Be A Redneck If More Than One Living Relative Is Named After A Southern Civil War General.

I Really Don't Require A Whole Lot In Life.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Sophisticated Show-biz Cousin Is A Rodeo Clown.

Sophisticated People Invest Their Money In Stock Portfolios. Rednecks Invest Their Money In Commemorative Plates.

Every Generation Thinks They Invented Sex, Which Is The Stupidest Assumption In The World Because If That Was The Case, You Wouldn't Even Be Here.

For The First Time Ever I Was Taking The Family On The Road. We Stayed With My In-laws, Which On Life's List Of Experiences Ranks Right Below Sitting In A Tub Full Of Scissors.

In My Life, I Have Driven Some Crappy Vehicles. But I Have Never Been So Desperate For A Vehicle That I Wanted A Used Rental Car.

Country Music Is About New Love And It's About Old Love.

I Was Talking To Alan Jackson. He Had His Second Greatest Hits Album. He Said, You Don't Ever Get Into This Really Thinking You're Gonna Make It.

If Your Working Television Sits On Top Of Your Non-working Television, You Might Be A Redneck.

All These Years I've Sat In Airports And Kind Of Drawn People And Put Like Far Side Captions On Them.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Dogs Name Is Miller Light

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Beer Can Collection Is Considered A Tourist Attraction In Your Home Town.

You Might Be A Redneck If Someone Tells You You Have Something In Your Teeth, And You Take Them Out To See What It Is.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Own All The Components Of Soap On A Rope Except The Soap.

Kids Aren't Suppose To Have Cancer, They're Suppose To Have A Future.

If You're A Redneck, You Have That Blood Flowing Through Your Veins. That's Almost On The Bucket List, To Hear "freebird" Live.

You Might Be A Redneck If You're A Lite Beer Drinker, Because You Start Drinking When It Gets Light.

If You Don't Have Anything Good To Say About Someone, You Must Be Talking About Hillary Clinton.

Sacrificing Myself To Kill Hilary Clinton Was The Best Thing I Could Possibly Do For Humanity

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Anniversary Present Was Getting The Septic Tank Pumped.

You Might Be A Redneck If Three Quarters Of The Clothes You Own Have Logos On Them.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Richest Member Of Your Family Bought A House And You Have To Help Take The Wheels Off Of It.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Birth Announcement Included The Word Rug Rat.

I've Gotten To The Point I Won't Even Watch The 11 O'clock News. You Just Walk Away From It Thinking How Bad Everything Is.

If You Think 'loading The Dishwasher' Means 'getting Your Wife Drunk', You Might Be A Redneck

Country Music Is About New Love And It's About Old Love. It's About Gettin' Drunk And Gettin' Sober. It's About Leavin' And It's About Comin' Home. It's Real Music Sung By Real People For Real People, The People That Make Up The Backbone Of This Country. You Can Call Us Rednecks If You Want. We're Not Offended, 'cause We Know What We're All About. We Get Up And Go To Work, We Get Up And Go To Church, And We Get Up And Go To War When Necessary.

You Take A Normal Guy, Give Him A Wife, Give Them Time, And You've Got An Idiot!

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have A Picture Of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Or Elvis Over Your Fireplace.

Did You Know Babies Are Nauseated By The Smell Of A Clean Shirt? You Put On Something From The Cleaners, They're Gonna Spit Up Just Like That. My Wardrobe Looks Like We Have Condors Living In Our Yard.

Buying A Used Rental Car Is Kind Of Like Going To A House Of Ill Repute Looking For A Wife. Anything That's Been Driven That Hard By That Many People, You Really Don't Want To Put Your Key In It.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Go Christmas Shopping For Your Mom, Sister, And Girlfriend, And You Only Need To Buy One Gift.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Favorite Hunting Dog Has A Bigger Tombstone Than Your Grandfather.

My Wife Is So Analytical With Raising Kids, And I Am Not. My Feeling Is If They Turn Out Good, Then That Means I Was A Good Daddy And Put A Lot Of Effort Into It. If They Turn Out Bad, It Means They Took After Her Side Of The Family.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Classes At School Were Cancelled Because The Path To The Restroom Was Flooded.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Father Encourages You To Quit School Because Larry Has An Opening On The Lube Rack.

I'm An Outdoor Nut. If I'm Not Working, I'm On A Tractor On My Farm, Hunting, Fishing Or Climbing A Mountain.

Women In Bed Are Like Diesel Engines. What I Mean By That Is, It May Take Them A While To Get Going, But When You Do, They Can Go For A Long, Long Time. Whereas Men Are Like... Bottle Rockets.

We're A Heart Attack Away From Losing The Right To Bear Arms.

If You Ahve Ever Unloaded Your Pickup By Backing Up Really Fast And Slamming On The Brakes, You Might Be A Redneck.

Changing A Diaper Is A Lot Like Getting A Present From Your Grandmother - You're Not Sure What You've Got But You're Pretty Sure You're Not Going To Like It.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Refer To The Time You Won A Free Case Of Oil As The Day My Ship Came In.

You Might Be A Redneck If In An Effort To Watch Your Cholesterol, You Eat Spam Lite.

If Your Idea Of A 7 Course Meal Is A Bucket Of Kfc And A Sixpack, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If...you've Been On Tv More Than Times Describing The Sound Of A Tornado.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stood In Line To Get Your Picture Taken With A Freak Of Nature.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Highlight Of Your Parties Is When You Flip Out Your False Teeth.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Stared At A Can Of Orange Juice Because It Said Concentrate.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Watch Little House On The Prairie For Decorating Tips.

It Seems Like Movies That Have Heart To Them Always Do Well, And They Find Their Audience.

You Might Be A Redneck If Taking Your Wife On A Cruise Means Circling The Dairy Queen.

I Just Love People. I Love This Country. I Am The American Dream. I Grew Up By The Airport With A Dirt Yard. Never In My Life Should I Have Been A Success. So That's What I Love About This Country [usa], Is You Get Out There And You Have The Opportunity And You Work Hard At It, And You Can Be A Success.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Can Amuse Yourself For More Than An Hour With A Fly Swatter.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Wish Your Outhouse Was As Nice As Those At The State Park.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Wife Has A Beer Belly And You Find It Attractive.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Your License Plate Personalized Because Your Dad Made It In Prison.

You Might Be A Redneck If People Hear Your Car Long Before They See It.

I Hope Someday We Can Stamp Out Illiteracy In America. Of Course You'll Have To Kill Alot Of My Relatives To Do It.

You Might Be A Redneck If Somebody Hollers Ho-down And Your Girlfriend Hits The Floor.

I Don't Necessarily Think Of It As Southern Comedy. I Just Think I'm A Comedian And I Have A Southern Accent.

You Might Be A Redneck If The First Words Out Of Your Mouth Every Time You See Friends Are Howdy!, Hey! Or How Y'all Doin'?

You Might Be A Redneck If Santa Claus Refuses To Let Your Kids Sit In His Lap.

You Might Be A Redneck If You See A Sign That Says Say No To Crack And It Reminds You To Pull Your Jeans Up.

I Turned Down A Movie This Summer Because It Was Nine Weeks In Vancouver And My Oldest Daughter Is 14. I've Got Four More Summers With Her. I'm Not Giving Away Nine Weeks Of Her Summer To Go Do A Silly Movie.

It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As A Loser At 2 Years Old.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That The Styrofoam Cooler Is The Greatest Invention Of All Time.

The Thing About That Singles Apartment Is You Never Had To Clean It Up... Until The Day You Got The Security Deposit Back. You're Arguing With The Landlord... 'no Sir, The Back Door Was Missing When We Moved In Here! The Pizzas Were Always On The Ceiling!'

By The Time We Get To Church, I Need Church Cuz I've Been Yelled At By Everyone In The Family.

Whatever Cleaning Goes On On The Planet, Women Do 99% Of It. But See, Women Are Not As Proud Of Their 99% As Men Are Of Our One! We Clean Something Up, We're Gonna Talk About It All Year Long. It Might Be On The News, You Don't Know. A Woman Could Be Out Re-paving The Driveway. Men Actually Have Enough Gall To Run Out On The Porch And Go "hey Baby? Man, It's Hot As Hell Out Here, Ain't It! Look, Don't Worry About Emptyin' That Ashtray In The Den, I Done Got It, All Right? Did It For You, Sweet Pea. I'm Gonna Go Take A Nap Now, All Right?"

When I Was A Kid, My Parents Had A 900-pound Television On Top Of A Tv Tray. My Dad's Theory Was, 'let Him Pull It Over His Head A Few Times, He'll Learn.'

You Might Be A Redneck If You Stand Under The Mistletoe At Christmas And Wait For Granny And Cousin Sue-ellen To Walk By.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have A Color Coordinating Rope That Ties Down Your Car Hood.

I've Got Keys To Crap I've Never Owned. You Put All My Keys Together I Could Be A High School Janitor Tonight.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!

You Might Be A Redneck If Going To The Bathroom Involves Shoes And A Flashlight.

Redneck Is: The Glorious Absence Of Sophistication

You May Be A Redneck If . . . You Think You Are An Entrepreneur Because Of The "dirt For Sale" Sign In The Front Yard.

I'll Just Have Itchy, Watery Eyes!

You Might Be A Redneck If You Won't Stop At A Rest Area If You Have An Empty Beer Can In The Car.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider A Six-pack And A Bug-zapper High-quality Entertainment.

You Might Be A Redneck If A Full-grown Ostrich Has Fewer Feathers Than Your Cowboy Hat.

Hell, When I Was In High School, A "drive-by Shooting" Meant Somebody Had Their Rear End Hanging Out A Car Window!

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Wife Wants To Stop At The Gas Station To See If They've Got The New Darrell Waltrip Budweiser Wall Clock.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Momma Calls You Over To Help, Cause She Has A Flat Tire On Her House.

You Might Be A Redneck If Exxon And Conoco Have Offered You Royalties For Your Hair.

I Have Never Been Jealous. Not Even When My Dad Finished Fifth Grade A Year Before I Did.

Between New York And La, There's 200 Million People That Aren't Hip, And They Don't Want To Be Hip.

You Don't Get Married To Get Sex. Getting Married To Get Sex Is Like Buying A 747 To Get Free Peanuts.

When You're Young And You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex You Take Sex Everytime. You Start Getting Older, You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex, You Choose Sleep And Just Hope You Have A Dream About Sex.

I Always Wore Cowboy Boots And Drove A Truck, And Talked Like This. So Everywhere I Would Go In Comedy People Would Say, "foxworthy, You Ain't Nothing But A Redneck From Georgia!" It Kind Of Became A Formula Joke.

Little Girls Love Dolls. They Just Don't Love Doll Clothes. We've Got Four Thousand Dolls And Ain't One Of Them Got A Stitch Of Clothes On.

If Your Mother Doesn't Remove The Marlboro From Her Lips Before Telling The State Trooper To Kiss Her Ass, You Might Be A Redneck.

It's Sad When You See Somebody That Talented That Passes Away And Doesn't Have To.

You Might Be A Redneck If Getting A Package From Your Post Office Requires A Full Tank Of Gas In The Truck.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Pork And Beans To Be A Gourmet Food.

You Might Be A Redneck If The Ufo Hotline Limits You To One Call A Day.

I Actually Had A Chance To Be In Delta Farce, But I Couldn't Do It Because I Read The Script.

You Moon The Wrong Person At An Office Party And Suddenly You're Not 'professional' Any More.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Need An Estimate From Your Barber Before You Get A Haircut.

You Might Be A Redneck If You're Moved To Tears Every Time You Hear Dolly Parton Singing I Will Always Love You.

You Might Be A Redneck If...you Think That John Deere Green, Ford Blue, And Primer Gray Are The Three Of The Primary Colors.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Vehicle Has A Two-tone Paint Job - Primer Red And Primer Gray.

Do You Know Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder? 'cause There's No Dental Records And All The Dna Is The Same.

I Used To Say That Whenever People Heard My Southern Accent, They Always Wanted To Deduct 100 Iq Points.

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