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My Feeling Is, If A Dog Is That Hard Up To Break Free, Let It Go. It's Like A Boyfriend Who Wants To Break Up. We All Know The Old Adage "if You Set Someone Free, And He Never Comes Back, Then He Was Never Yours." I Understand The Main Fear With Setting Dogs Loose Is They Could Get Hit By A Car, But So Could An Ex Boyfriend. That's Just A Chance You Have To Take.

-Chelsea Handler

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My Feeling Is, If

Chelsea Handler

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My Feeling Is, If A Dog Is That Hard Up To Break Free, Let It Go. It's Like A Boyfriend Who Wants To Break Up. We All Know The Old Adage "if You Set Someone Free, And He Never Comes Back, Then He Was Never Yours." I Understand The Main Fear With Setting Dogs Loose Is They Could Get Hit By A Car, But So Could An Ex Boyfriend. That's Just A Chance You Have To Take.

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I Couldn't Go Any Higher With Three Michelin Stars. I Mastered My Craft. I'm Still Learning And Picking Up Ideas.

I Think The People In Your Life Are The People That - When You Can Make Other People Happy And You Can Give Things To Your Family And Your Friends, You Know, That's Really Obviously What Life Is All About. But It Doesn't Have To Be Children. It Doesn't Have To Be A Husband. It Can Be Whatever You Make It.

What About Your Constitutional Right To Bear Arms, You Say. I Would Simply Point Out That You Don’t Have To Exercise A Constitutional Right Just Because You Have It. You Have The Constitutional Right To Run For President Of The United States, But Most People Have Too Much Sense To Insist On Exercising It.

In A Statement To The Associated Press Earlier In The Year, Jamie Lynn Said She Didn’t Have A Boyfriend. She Said, ‘i’m Keeping My Options Open.’ And By Options, She Meant Legs.

There Are Two Kinds Of People I Don't Trust: People Who Don't Drink And People Who Collect Stickers.

A Catholic Priest Who’s Been Sending Threatening Notes To Conan O’brien Was Charged With Stalking In The Fourth Degree. It Just Goes To Show You That People Can Become Obsessed With Redheads.

Sometimes, Chelsea, I Wonder, How You Get By From Day To Day. It's A Good Thing You're So Voluptuous.

Funny Motivational

A Hotel Room All To Myself Is My Idea Of A Good Time.

Amy Winehouse's Mother Wrote An Open Letter To The News Of The World Newspaper Telling Amy She's Worried About Her And To Please Call Her. I Doubt This Is The Best Way To Communicate With Amy - She Should Try Spelling It Out In Lines Of Cocaine.

Every Time John Travolta Assaults A Masseur, A Scientologist Gets Their Wings.

I’ll Always Be Doing Stand-up As Long As People Are Still Interested In Seeing Me.

Being That Frank And Being That Open, There's More Praise Than There Is Negativity. It's Just The Negativity Gets Printed Because You're Straight And F - Ing Rude. It's Not Rude, It's Just Getting Straight To The Point.

My Father Has A High Opinion Of His Opinion

I Wasn’t Like 'oh, I'm Going To Marry 50 Cent...' I Mean, Seriously. But I Did Like Him. He's Very Sweet And Antithetical To What You'd Think Of Him.

If You Do Talk Dirty, Make Sure That You Enunciate Because There's Nothing More Embarrassing Than Having To Repeat Yourself.

I'd Like To Go Out For A Cocktail... Or Seven.

But Then, Like George Michael In A Men's Bathroom, I Got Cocky.

I Don't Understand What Apps Are On My Phone. Why Do They Ask For Passwords? Why Do They All Ask For Different Passwords? It's So Frustrating That I End Up Just Reading A Book Every Time I Try To Go Online.

It's Also A Terrible Kind Of Sentiment [ Reality Tv] For Children And For People. It Makes People Feel Like They All Want To Be Famous For No Reason.

I Can't Be Skinny All The Time. I Like To Drink And I Like To Eat. I Like Burgers And Bagels.

You Get Photographed Together When There's 25 People With You And People Assume That You're Having Sex, Which Is Definitely Not The Case.

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William C. Bryant

William E. Gladstone

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