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Jesus Forgives Sinners, Not Criminals.
-Stephen Colbert
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Jesus Forgives Sinners, Not

Stephen Colbert
...
Jesus Forgives Sinners, Not Criminals.

Understanding the Quote: "jesus forgives sinners, not criminals...."

This quote by Stephen Colbert reflects deeply on the theme of funny. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Funny, Jesus, Forgiving, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Stephen Colbert interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert is celebrated for insightful thoughts on funny and jesus. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

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Funny
Jesus
Forgiving
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America
Cost
Improvisation In General Is Good, And Improvising Material Into Themes, Turning The Material Into Something Codified And Repeatable, Taught Me Scenic Structure And Dramatic Gambits That Work And Things That Are Appealing Both As A Performer And An Audience Member, Like You Know, What Does "want" Really Mean In A Scene, And How Do You Achieve Your Want, And How Is That Expressed, And How Do You Achieve Closure? Those Are All Things That I Learned Performing At The Cabaret After Just Doing The Same Scenes Over And Over And Over Again Over The Years, With My Own Ability To Change.
Mean
Closure
Dramatic
And My Daughter Said, 'why Are You Yelling At Us?' And I Said, 'i'm Trying To Discipline You!' And Then She Looked Up At Me With Her Tear-stained Eyes And Said, 'this Is How You Teach Children, By Making Them Cry.' And It Was Such A Clenching Reminder - She Won Not Only The Argument, But She Won Life With That Statement. I Just Burst Out Laughing, And I Think They Were So Surprised That I Burst Out Laughing, That They Did Too.
Daughter
Children
Eye
Senator Kerry Does Not Support Our Troops. If He Had Won The Election, There Wouldn't Be Any Troops Left In Iraq. President Bush, On The Other Hand, Has Given Our Troops An Opportunity To Fight Without End. That's Creating Jobs. In Fact, The President's Policies Helped Create 104 More Job Openings Last Month. Now Who's Stupid, Senator?
Jobs
Stupid
Fighting
There Is A Residual Sense For Me, Having Grown Up In The Early '70s, That I Did Not Know I Had, Which Was A Sense That The Military Are Different Than I. Because There Was Such A Divide Between The Military World - And There Still Is, Because There's No Draft - And The Civilian World Is One Of The Rotten Harvests Of The Vietnam War, Was This Sort Of Bifurcation Of America In That Way.
Military
War
America
If You Love Friends, You Will Serve Your Friends. If You Love Community, You Will Serve Your Community. If You Love Money, You Will Serve Your Money. And If You Love Only Yourself, You Will Serve Only Yourself. And You Will Have Only Yourself.
Community
Love Of Money
Ifs
Destroying A Religious Symbol And Building A Religious Center Are Really The Same Thing If You Don't Think About It.
Religious
Thinking
Building
We All Know Why [the Generals] Are So Critical Of The Defense Secretary. They're Being Defensive Because They Weren't Able To Implement His Brilliant Plan [on Screen: Operation 'greet Us As Liberators']. It Was So Simple: Go In With 100,000 Troops, Topple The Regime, Everybody Loves Us, And We Leave By Easter 2003. These Ex-military Men Have Their Right To Their Opinions, That's Fine. They Just Shouldn't Voice Them During A War [on Screen: 'loose Lips Sink Approval Ratings']
Easter
War
Military
If Germans Are Happy It Means Everyone Else Is Miserable.
Mean
Miserable
Ifs
Arbitrary Rules Teach Kids Discipline: If Every Rule Made Sense, They Wouldn't Be Learning Respect For Authority, They'd Be Learning Logic.
Kids
Discipline
Arbitrary
You Have A Firm Grasp Of The Obvious.
Obvious
Firm
If Someone Does Offer You A Job, Say 'yes.' You Can Always Quit Later. Then At Least You'll Be One Of The Unemployed As Opposed To One Of The Never-employed. Nothing Looks Worse On A Resume Than Nothing.
Wisdom
Jobs
Yes You Can
With Late Night Show I Can Begin The Search For The Real Stephen Colbert.i Just Hope I Don't Find Him On Ashley Madison.
Real
Night
Madison
So If Animals Aren't Our Friends, Then What Are They? The Answer Can Be Summed Up Between Two Buns.
Food
Animal
Two
We Don't Have To Look For What The Next Thing Will Be. If Experience Is Any Judge, It'll Come Flowing Toward Us Like A River.
Rivers
Judging
Looks
I Tell A Lot Of Young Performers, 'go Get In Trouble. Go Commit Yourself To Something You're Not Sure You Can Do.' And I Followed My Own Advice.
Advice
Trouble
Young
Forgot To Live-tweet The Election Last Night, So I'm Post-tweeting Today. I'll Start As Soon As My Fingers Unclench From Their Rage Fists.
Night
Fists
Today
...why Were You Happier When You Were A Kid? Because You Didn't Know Anything. The More You Know, The Sadder You Get.
Kids
Knows
Corporations Have Free Speech, But They Can't Speak Like You And Me. They Don't Have Mouths Or Hands.
Hands
Mouths
Speech
I Cannot Stand People Who Disagree With Me On The Issue Of Roe V. Wade... Which I Believe Is About The Proper Way To Cross A Lake.
Believe
Lakes
Issues
I Could Sit Toe To Toe At A Potato Table With Anybody.
Tables
Toes
Potatoes
Laughter Brings The Swelling Down On Our National Psyche.
Inspirational
Laughter
Swelling
(on Fox News).... It's Like Watching A Disney Movie About The News.
News
Fox News
Foxes
Used Books Are The Sluts Of The Literary World. Passed Around From Person To Person, Spreading Their Pages For Anyone, Getting Cheaper And Cheaper Until Eventually They End Up In Prison.
Book
World
Pages
(rush Are) Like The Jd Salinger Of Canadian Prog Rock
Rocks
Salinger
I Believe All God's Creatures Have A Soul... Except Bears, Bears Are Godless Killing Machines!
Believe
Soul
Machines
Facts Matter Not At All. Perception Is Everything. It's Certainty. People Love The President Because He's Certain Of His Choices As A Leader, Even If The Facts That Back Him Up Don't Seem To Exist. It's The Fact That He's Certain That Is Very Appealing To A Certain Section Of The Country. I Really Feel A Dichotomy In The American Populace. What Is Important? What You Want To Be True, Or What Is True?
Country
People
Choices
For Me, Improvisation Is About Working With A Partner. That Is Much Easier To Do In The Interview, Because You Have A Sounding Board.
Boards
Interviews
Easier
That’s Why Our Tvs Are Brimming With So Much Hot Man-on-pan Action. You Can’t Channel Surf For Long Without Seeing Turkey Getting Stuffed Over And Over Until They Finally Cut To The Gravy Shot.
Cutting
Men
Turkeys
Now, I Don't See Color. People Tell Me I'm White And I Believe Them Because Police Officers Call Me 'sir'.
Funny
Believe
Color
Facebook Stock Continues To Plummet. People Started Selling Once They Found Out Their Mom Bought It Too.
Mom
People
Selling
It's Much Better To Invite The Audience To Be Part Of Your Show Rather Than Saying, "i Command You To Do This." The Other Thing Is, You Have To Follow Through. If You Initiate A Game And They Take Part, You Can't Stop Until It Reaches A Mutually Satisfying Resolution.
Games
Resolution
Follow Through
Throughout Human History, Countries Rise And Fall. But Not America-we Continue To Rise And Rise, Like Dough, Until Jesus Bakes Us In The Fiery Afterscape Of The Rapture.
Country
Jesus
Fall
Usually When Donald Trump Wants To Keep Someone Out Of Military Service, He Just Fakes A Doctor's Note Saying He Has A Foot Injury. It Worked Fine For Him During Vietnam.
Military
Fake
Injury
You Gotta Learn To Love When You're Failing.... The Embracing Of That, The Discomfort Of Failing In Front Of An Audience, Leads You To Penetrate Through The Fear That Blinds You. Fear Is The Mind Killer.
Mind
Killers
Failing
If The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul, Then Why Does It Hurt When I Spray Them With Windex?
Hurt
Eye
Window To The Soul
Ghost Of Bobby: No, No You Can't Eat Me. I'm A Ghost. Stephen Colbert: That Just Means That There's Less Bones To Pick Out.
Mean
Ghost
Bones
There's Nothing American Tourists Like More Than The Things They Can Get At Home.
Funny
Travel
Home
Baby Carrots Are Making Me Gay.
Baby
Gay
Ridiculous
Isn't An Agnostic Just An Atheist Without Balls?
Atheist
Atheism
Balls
The Lead Singer Of Creed Says He Won’t Endorse President Obama. Well That Settles It -- Obama Will Not Win The 1998 Presidential Election.
Funny
Sarcastic
Sarcasm
Divorce Is Marital Welfare.it’s Just Couples Asking Society To Bail Them Out Because They Didn’t Do Enough Research Before They Got Married.
Couple
Divorce
Bail
North Korea Is Willing To Go To Any Lengths For The Whole World To Honor Its Demands Of 'ooh, Please Pay Attention To Us.'
Korea
Honor
Attention
Nothing Is More Vintage Than Dying Of Rubella.
Vintage
Dying
If Jesus Doesn't Have A Sense Of Humor, I Am In Huge Trouble.
Jesus
Sense Of Humor
Trouble
Atheism: The Religion Devoted To The Worship Of One's Own Smug Sense Of Superiority.
Religion
Atheism
Worship
A New Study Shows That Having A Severe Phobia Can Hasten Aging. But What If My Greatest Fear Is Aging?!?
Greatest Fear
What If
Aging
What I Rediscovered Was The Therapeutic Nature Of Singing Lessons. They're Like Doing Yoga But For [the] Inside Of Your Body. You Open Up And Use Muscles That You Don't Think Of As Malleable.
Yoga
Thinking
Singing
Like O'rielly, We'll Grab The Most Important Word Of Each Sentence... 'the' For Example. Also, I'll Say, 'i'm Angry,' And The Graphic Will Read, 'colbert Angry.
Important
Example
Graphic
What's The Worst That Can Happen? A Tidal Wave? Glaciers With Guns?
Gun
Glaciers
Wave
Protect Yourself From Muslim Vampires By Making Your Neck Non-halal.
Vampire
Necks
Halal
History Moves Fast. It's Hard To Believe That Gay Americans Achieved Full Constitutional Personhood Just Five Years After Corporations Did!
Believe
Moving
Gay
I Used To Make Up Stuff In My Bio All The Time, That I Used To Be A Professional Ice-skater And Stuff Like That. I Found It So Inspirational. Why Not Make Myself Cooler Than I Am?
Ice
Why Not
Stuff
Let Freedom Ka-ching...corporations Do Everything People Do Except Breathe, Die And Go To Jail For Dumping 1.3 Million Pounds Of Pcbs In The Hudson River.
Rivers
Jail
People
I May Not Agree With What You Have To Say But I Will Fight You To The Death For The Right To Fight You To The Death.
Fighting
May
Agree
I'll Make Fun Of Anybody. We're All About Falling Down And Going Boom On Camera.
Fun
Fall
Cameras
Facts Matter Not At All. Perception Is Everything. It's Certainty.
Perception
Matter
Facts
New Study Reveals Men Like To Cuddle. Another Study Reveals Men Will Say Anything To Get Into Bed With A Woman.
Men
Say Anything
Bed
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