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Truthiness Is Tearing Apart Our Country, And I Don't Mean The Argument Over Who Came Up With The Word. I Don't Know Whether It's A New Thing, But It's Certainly A Current Thing, In That It Doesn't Seem To Matter What Facts Are. It Used To Be, Everyone Was Entitled To Their Own Opinion, But Not Their Own Facts. But That's Not The Case Anymore. Facts Matter Not At All. Perception Is Everything.

-Stephen Colbert

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Truthiness Is Tearing Apart

Stephen Colbert

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Truthiness Is Tearing Apart Our Country, And I Don't Mean The Argument Over Who Came Up With The Word. I Don't Know Whether It's A New Thing, But It's Certainly A Current Thing, In That It Doesn't Seem To Matter What Facts Are. It Used To Be, Everyone Was Entitled To Their Own Opinion, But Not Their Own Facts. But That's Not The Case Anymore. Facts Matter Not At All. Perception Is Everything.

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After Obsessively Googling Symptoms For Four Hours, I Discovered 'obsessively Googling Symptoms' Is A Symptom Of Hypochondria.

I'm Getting Angry At Liberals.

In 1986, Our Commencement Speaker Was George Schultz, Secretary Of State, Fourth In Line To The President. You Get Me-basic Cable's Second Most Popular Fake Newsman. At This Rate, The Class Of 2021 Will Be Addressed By A Zoo Parrot In A Mortar-board That Has Been Trained To Say "congratulations.

Congratulations

You Don't Look Up Truthiness In A Book, You Look It Up In Your Gut.

Truthiness Is Tearing Apart Our Country, And I Don't Mean The Argument Over Who Came Up With The Word. I Don't Know Whether It's A New Thing, But It's Certainly A Current Thing, In That It Doesn't Seem To Matter What Facts Are. It Used To Be, Everyone Was Entitled To Their Own Opinion, But Not Their Own Facts. But That's Not The Case Anymore. Facts Matter Not At All. Perception Is Everything.

The Worst Thing About Affirmative Action Is That It Encourages Reverse Discrimination, So-called Because It Goes In The Opposite Way Of How We Naturally Discriminate.

Mentioning Jesus In Your Speech: Small Government. Doing What Jesus Asked: Big Government.

Shamelessness Is A Wonderful Part Of The Character.

The Skinnification Of America's Jeanscape Has Gone Too Far.

Evil Exists Because Of The Disobedience Of Satan. God Gave Satan, And The Angels, And Man Free Will. Satan Used His Free Will And Abused It By Not Obeying Authority. Hell Was Created By Satan’s Disobedience To God, And His Purposeful Removal From God’s Love—which Is What Hell Is. Removing Yourself From God’s Love. You Send Yourself To Hell. God Does Not Send You There.

I'm Proud Of My Ability To Understand What Somebody Else Is Trying To Do And Help Them Achieve It, Because Part Of The Aesthetic Of Improvisation Is Service. We Don't Lead, We Only Follow. You Never Say No. Serve The Servant, Follow The Follower. And That's Very Valuable In Your Life, As Well As Very Valuable In Your Work.

I Welcome Opposing Viewpoints, But I Should Warn You That You'll Be Facing Off Against The 2nd-place Finisher At The 1981 Charleston County High-school Debate Tournament. And Whatever Became Of That County Champ Who Argued In Favor Of Tractor Safety Modifications? Last Time I Checked, She Didn't Have Her Own Show.

Young Girls Are Obsessed With Having A Thigh Gap. I Blame The Impossible Body Standards Set By Spongebob.

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