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Truthiness Is "what I Say Is Right, And [nothing] Anyone Else Says Could Possibly Be True." It's Not Only That I Feel It To Be True, But That I Feel It To Be True. There's Not Only An Emotional Quality, But There's A Selfish Quality.

-Stephen Colbert

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Truthiness Is "what I

Stephen Colbert

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Truthiness Is "what I Say Is Right, And [nothing] Anyone Else Says Could Possibly Be True." It's Not Only That I Feel It To Be True, But That I Feel It To Be True. There's Not Only An Emotional Quality, But There's A Selfish Quality.

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Other People's Deconstruction Of Your Motivations Doesn't Help You Do What You Do. You Can't Swallow And Think About Swallowing At The Same Time.

What's The Worst That Can Happen? A Tidal Wave? Glaciers With Guns?

Women Don't Want All That. Women Just Want A Partner Who Is Considerate And Attentive, Who Will Spoon With Them While Reciting Keats, And Feed Them Organic Yogurt By Candlelight On A Seaside Cliff At Sunset.

I Could Sit Toe To Toe At A Potato Table With Anybody.

Can You Really Put A Price On Annoying Two Religions At Once?

I Won't Be Doing The New Show In Character, So We'll All Get To Find Out How Much Of Him Was Me. I'm Looking Forward To It.

Looking Forward

I'm Not Going To Name Any Names, But Let's Just Say, I Want To Do Jokes On Donald Trump So Badly, And I Have No Venue. So Right Now, I'm Just Dry Trumping.

I Don't Trust Books. They're All Fact, No Heart. And That's Exactly What's Pulling Our Country Apart Today. Because Face It, Folks, We Are A Divided Nation. Not Between Democrats Or Republicans, Or Conservatives And Liberals, Or Tops And Bottoms. No, We Are Divided By Those Who Think With Their Head, And Those Who Know With Their Heart.

Comedians Dissect Jokes All The Time. Comedians Are Beautiful Structuralists. But Ultimately It's An Athletic Endeavor.

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Constantin Brancusi

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