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So, If I'm No Cheerleader Of Sports, Why Write A Chapter About It? Sports Do Have Some Positive Impact On Society. They Solve Problems, Such As How To Get Inner-city Kids To Spend $175 On Shoes. They Serve As A Backdrop For Some Of Our Most Memorable Commercials. And They Remain The One And Only Relevant Application Of Math. Not Only That, But We Have Sports To Thank For Most Of The Last Century's Advances In Manliness. The System Starts In School, Where Gym Class Separates The Men From The Boys. Then Those Men Are Taught To Be Winners, Or At Least, Losers That Hate Themselves.

-Stephen Colbert

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So, If I'm No

Stephen Colbert

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So, If I'm No Cheerleader Of Sports, Why Write A Chapter About It? Sports Do Have Some Positive Impact On Society. They Solve Problems, Such As How To Get Inner-city Kids To Spend $175 On Shoes. They Serve As A Backdrop For Some Of Our Most Memorable Commercials. And They Remain The One And Only Relevant Application Of Math. Not Only That, But We Have Sports To Thank For Most Of The Last Century's Advances In Manliness. The System Starts In School, Where Gym Class Separates The Men From The Boys. Then Those Men Are Taught To Be Winners, Or At Least, Losers That Hate Themselves.

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Native American

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Don't Be Bitter. Everybody Suffers. If You Can Accept Your Suffering Then You Will Understand Other People Better. Be Grateful For Pain. Love Life.

You Have To Do Your First Penance Before Your First Holy Communion. You're Really Young. What Do You Know? You've Got Nothing To Confess. All I Knew Was That I Was An Evil Human Whose Sins Caused The Death Of Our Lord.

Luckily, A Recent Survey Published In The American Sociological Review Revealed That Atheists Are The Least Trusted Group In America—less Trusted, Even, Than Homosexuals. It Makes Sense At Least We Trust The Homosexuals With Our Hair.

I Wrote Things For The School's Newspaper, And - Like All Teenagers - I Dabbled In Poetry.

It's Official. Highway Patrolmen Are Not Susceptible To The Jedi Mind Trick.

There's A Wonderfully Cooperative Relationship Between Management And Labor Right Now. Much Like The Historic Partnership Between Oranges And A Juicer.

If I'm Doing A Talk Show Or An Interview, Or Pretty Much Anything Where I Can't Control The Context, I'm Loath To Do The Character.

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