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It's Been Over A Year Since They've Graduated, But Neither Of The Bush Twins Have Found Any Work. Why Don't They Sign Up (for Military Service In Iraq)? Do They Hate America, Or Just Freedom In General?

-Bill Maher

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It's Been Over A

Bill Maher

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It's Been Over A Year Since They've Graduated, But Neither Of The Bush Twins Have Found Any Work. Why Don't They Sign Up (for Military Service In Iraq)? Do They Hate America, Or Just Freedom In General?

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The Thing I Don't Understand About Homosexuals Is, How Do They Decide Which One Is The One Who's Supposed To Pretend They Don't Want It?

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It's Understandable Why A Minority That Was Treated As Badly As Blacks In This Country Have Been For So Long Would, When They Finally Found Themselves On Top, Brag About It And Want To Shout From The Rooftops.

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Your Fuselage Shouldn't Open More Easily Than Your Pretzel Bag.

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Progress Of Society

Wichita Falls, Texas Is Considering Using Toilet Water For Drinking. And A Dog There Today Said, 'white People's Problems.'

Everybody Has A Magazine And A Channel. There Are 500 Channels And 500 Magazines, And We Wonder Why We're Not United As A Country.

Mitt Romney We Think Is Going Run Again. He Says He Has No Plans To Run, But He Said If He Did Run, This Time Things Would Turn Out Differently. Yes They Would. This Time He Would Get His Ass Kicked By A Woman.

Why Is The Ama For 'obamacare'? If This Is Going To Hurt Doctors, Why Are They For 'obamacare'?

We're Always On A Tightrope. We're Trying To Put Together People Who Don't Make Sense To Be Together, Talking About Issues That Are Sensitive And Controversial. We're Mixing Dangerous Chemicals On A Nightly Basis.

The Politicians Are No Prizes, But The People Are Even Worse, They're So Ill-informed. I Never Understand The Pushback When I Say People Are Stupid.

Not A Lot Of People Know About Tunisia. Sarah Palin Thinks It's The Name Of One Of Obama's Kids.

A New Biography Came Out That Says That In High School Obama Was A Huge Pothead … Mitt Romney Had To Respond To This And Said, ‘it Is Appalling That Obama Spent His Teenage Years Goofing Around And Smoking Pot When He Should Have Been Pinning Down Gay Kids And Cutting Their Hair.

This Is The Worst Thing To Happen To Beaches Since The Speedo.

Sarah Palin Finally Heard What Happened In Japan And She's Demanding That We Invade 'tsunami.'

God Makes Trees, He Doesn't Write Books.

Life Is About Making Tough Choices. Sometimes You Have To Go Where Your Career Is Going.

Have You Ever Met A War You Didn't Love? I’m Asking, Is There Any Place You Don’t Want To Intervene In?

It's Supposed To Be A Good Thing That He's Got This Dialogue Started. To Me, I Think, I Just Took Away Something Bad From It, Because, Apparently He Had To Do This Not To Convince Them Of Anything. To Educate Them.

Bp Today Finally Managed To Almost Completely Stop The Flow Of Information.

The Younger Generation Is Supposed To Rage Against The Machine, Not For It. They're Supposed To Question Authority, Not Question Those Who Question Authority.

Republicans Have Pounced. They're Outraged. They Say, 'how Dare You Lie About Caring For The People Who Got Hurt In The War We Lied Them Into?'

I Have Always Defined Political Correctness As An Elevation Of Sensitivity Over Truth.

How Come Regional Pandering Only Works In One Direction, Right? You Never See A Southern Politician Trying To Win Votes In New York State By Saying, 'i Read Books And Make A Mean Vegan Meatloaf.'

Rand Paul And Chris Christie Both Said Vaccinations Should Be A Choice, Not A Government Mandate. Because When Have Republicans Ever Told People What They Could Do With Their Own Bodies?

I Don't Know If Anybody From My Tribe Of Atheists Ever Thanked [barack Obama] For Giving Us A Shout-out At Your First Inaugural, But You Did Mention Non-believers. We Appreciate It. Because We Do Feel Like Untouchables To A Degree.

Rick Santorum Said This Week That His 12-year-old Could Out-reason Me About God. Look, I Am Not About To Debate A Home-schooled 12-year-old. I Have Enough Trouble With Sarah Palin.

White People Have Always Shown Their Superiority Over Blacks With Their Feet, Moving Out Of Black Neighborhoods With The Fear That Their Kids Will Turn Into One Of Them. And Now, Through The Magic Of Mtv, Damned If It Didn't Turn Out That Way!

You Can't Get Saved If You Don't Play.

You Know... There Is A Name For People Who Are Always Wrong About Everything All The Time.... Husband!!!

The President Is Not Doing Well With African Americans. His Popularity Rating - His Approval Rating - With Blacks: Two Percent. Two Percent. That Is Somewhere Between Mark Fuhrman And Sickle Cell Anemia.

Approval Rating

Gordon Gekko Was Right: Greed Is Good. Because, The Potty-trained Republicans Have Now Stepped Forward - Like The Koch Brothers - To Say, 'you Know What? You Yokels Stop Talking About Defaulting On The Debt, Because I'm Going To Lose A Fortune!'

New Rule: Stop Calling It Obamacare. It's Not Like Obama Will Be The Doctor For Your Next Prostate Exam. That's Just A Common Fantasy Of Republican Men.

Stand-up Is Great Because I Can Get Everything Off My Chest.

And To Answer The Question That People Have About This Conspiracy Theory That He Has A Pack In His Back, My Answer Is, If Someone Was Feeding Him Answers, Couldn't They Be Able To Feed Him Better Ones Than He Came Up With?

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