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What Is With This Campy Fixation On All Things Ronald Reagan? They Talk About Him The Way Gay People Talk About Barbra Streisand. I Think They Want Him On A Stamp So They Can Lick His Ass. I Think They Wanted To Name Airports After Him So They Can Say, "i'm Coming Into Reagan!"

-Bill Maher

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What Is With This

Bill Maher

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What Is With This Campy Fixation On All Things Ronald Reagan? They Talk About Him The Way Gay People Talk About Barbra Streisand. I Think They Want Him On A Stamp So They Can Lick His Ass. I Think They Wanted To Name Airports After Him So They Can Say, "i'm Coming Into Reagan!"

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Merry Christmas

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There Was One Awkward Moment Where A Black Man Stood-up To Ask A Question And Out Of Habit, Bush Said 'clemency Denied.'

My Wife Always Has A Splitting Archetype Whenever I Want To Have Sex.

I Think I Know Now Why We Are Occupying Iraq. In Case We Have To Sell America And Move To A Smaller Country.

Rick Santorum Has Come Out Against Contraception And Against College. He Wants Us Literally To Be F**king Stupid.

If It Makes You Feel Any Better We Will Be Happy To Attack A Country That Had Nothing To Do With It.

What I Believe In Is Love Your Neighbor As Yourself And Don't Call Him Stupid Because They Don't Agree With You Politically.

In Washington, The Air Quality Today Was Described As 'red.'...you Know What 'red' Is? It's Bad For Everyone. Not Just Old People, Sick People And Babies. When It's Just Bad For Old People, Sick People And Babies, That's Called A Republican Budget.

Mitt Romney Comes From A Mormon Background. I Don't Know How Many Wives He Has. I'm Not Saying That I Believe In That, I'm Just Saying He Was Born On A Mormon Compound. I'm Not A 'wifer' But For Some Reason He's Never Shown His Original Marriage Certificate.

Some People Think I Enjoy Debate. I Don't. I Wish Everyone Agreed With Me; It Would Save A Lot Of Time.

This Is America. We Don't Call An Election Before We Know Who Won. That, After All, Is The Job Of The Supreme Court.

When You Look At Belief In Such Things - As Do You Go To Heaven, Is There A Devil - We Have More In Common With (muslin Countries) Turkey And Iran And Syria Than We Do With European Nations And Canada And Nations That, Yes, I Would Consider More Enlightened That Us.

The Difference, I Think, That Matters Is Which Of The Religions Are Dangerous. They're All Crazy, But Which Ones Have The Potential To Turn That Into Death. In That Area, I Think We Have To Worry The Most About The Muslims And The Christians

Obama Is Not A Secret Kenyon, Or A Secret Muslim, He's A Secret Republican.

Dealing W/ Hamas Is Like Dealing W/ A Crazy Woman Who’s Trying To Kill U – U Can Only Hold Her Wrists So Long Before You Have To Slap Her.

People Have Romantic Notions About Television. In The Highest Realms They Think It's Some Sort Of Art Medium, And It's Not. Others Think It's An Entertainment Medium, It's Not That Either. It's An Advertising Medium. It's A Method To Deliver Advertising Like A Cigarette Is A Method To Deliver Nicotine.

Government - They Used To Teach It In College. It's Actually Something You Should Study And Learn And Know How To Do. The Republicans Always Run On The Idea That Government Isn't Very Effective. Well, Not The Way You Do It. But It Can Be Effective.

I'm A Pessimist By Nature. A Pot Head, But A Pessimist.

I Think The Reason Why More Rapists Go Into The Military Is The Same Reason Why Predators Go Into The Catholic Church. It's A Place They Know They Can Get Away With It.

In No Way Was I Intending To Say, Nor Have I Ever Thought, That The Men And Women Who Defend Our Nation In Uniform Are Anything But Courageous And Valiant, And I Offer My Apologies To Anyone Who Took It Wrong.

Clinton Left The White House With All The Class Of An Xfl Halftime Show.

If There Is Such A Thing As Karma, Let's Hope That Sarah Palin Comes Back As A Wolf Being Shot At From A Plane.

I Always Compare Marriage To Communism. They're Both Institutions That Don't Conform To Human Nature, So You're Going To End Up With Lying And Hypocrisy.

Faith Means Making A Virtue Out Of Not Thinking. It's Nothing To Brag About. And Those Who Preach Faith, And Enable And Elevate It Are Intellectual Slaveholders, Keeping Mankind In A Bondage To Fantasy And Nonsense That Has Spawned And Justified So Much Lunacy And Destruction.

In Ten Muslim Countries You Can Get The Death Penalty Just For Being Gay. If They Were Chopping The Heads Off Of Gay People In The Vatican, Wouldn't There Be A Greater Outcry Among Liberals?

I Have Two Questions About Arnold Schwarzenegger. What Does He Know, And When Will He Know It?

The Other Financial Genius, John Mccain, Said The Fundamentals Of Our Economy Are Strong, And Then Yesterday He Wanted To Fire The Head Of The Sec -- Except You Can't As President Fire The Sec Chairman, It's A Non-governmental Job. Sarah Palin Said Today One More Gaffe From Mccain, And She's Going To Drop Him From The Ticket.

Laughter Is Sort Of A Natural Truth Detector. If You Laugh At Something, It's Probably Because There Was Some Truth In It.

Republicans Stand By Their Convictions. Stupid, Ignorant, World-destroying Convictions Based On Disproven Economic Fantasies And Ancient Books Full Of Primitive Morality And Magic People. But Convictions, Nonetheless.

Which Is Why I'd Like To Tip Off Law Enforcement To An Even Larger Child-abusing Religious Cult. Its Leader Also Has A Compound, And This Guy Not Only Operates Outside The Bounds Of The Law, But He Used To Be A Nazi And He Wears Funny Hats. That's Right, The Pope Is Coming To America This Week And Ladies, He's Single!

It Somehow Became An Article Of Faith On The Right That Obama Is The Most Extreme President In American History. Although, When They Say That, I Think What They Really Mean Is...he's Black.

Have You Ever Met A War You Didn't Love? I’m Asking, Is There Any Place You Don’t Want To Intervene In?

New Polls Show That Obama Is Now Pulling Away From Mitt Romney. And, Of Course, What Could Be More Natural Than To See Mitt Romney And Pull Away?

I Know Climate Change Is A Hoax – Of Course – But Places That Have Never Seen This Type Of Winter Weather Got Hit By It. More Than A Half A Million Southerners Have Been Left In The Dark --- And Then The Storm Hit.

The Founding Fathers Were More Deists. If You Had To Categorize Them As Anything. There Was Some Sort Of Moving Prime Force. But It's An Impersonal Force. Some People Call It Nature. Certainly Not This Personal God Who You Have A Personal Relationship With, Who Listens To Your Prayers And Answers Them, Or Doesn't. You Know, Not The Silly Stuff That Most Americans Believe Because We're Such A Dumb Nation.

When We Make Mistakes They Call It Evil

Making Mistakes

Let's Face It; God Has A Big Ego Problem. Why Do We Always Have To Worship Him?

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