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How About A New Game Show Called 'battle Begala?' Contestants Would Pick Any Obscure Bad Thing That Happened Anywhere In The World, And Paul Would Have 10 Seconds To Explain Why It Is President Bush's Fault.

-Ann Coulter

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How About A New

Ann Coulter

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How About A New Game Show Called 'battle Begala?' Contestants Would Pick Any Obscure Bad Thing That Happened Anywhere In The World, And Paul Would Have 10 Seconds To Explain Why It Is President Bush's Fault.

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His Pomposity Is Overshadowed Only By His Rank Stupidity

Liberals Go Straight To Ugly Racist Stereotypes When Attacking Conservative Blacks, Calling Them Oversexualized, Stupid And/or Incompetent.

We Didn't Raise This Issue, The Courts Raised It. The Courts Jammed It Down Our Throats, At The Risk Of Insulting Any Of My Gay Male Fans.

Liberals Could Not Be Less Interested In Democracy When It Came To Taking Out Saddam Hussein... Now A Loyal American Ally [mubarak] Comes Under Attack And They Are Burning For Democracy.

I Really Liked Deadheads And The Whole Dead Concert Scene: The Tailgating, The Tie-dye Uniforms, The Camaraderie It Was Like Nascar For Potheads.

If Hitler Hadn't Turned Against Their Beloved Stalin, Liberals Would Have Stuck By Him, Too.

So Far, The Only Major Accomplishment Of The Occupy Wall Street (ows) Protesters Is That They Have Finally Put An End To Their Previous Initiative, Occupy Our Mothers' Basements.

Let's Say I Go Out Every Night, I Meet A Guy And Have Sex With Him. Good For Me. I'm Not Married.

How About A New Game Show Called 'battle Begala?' Contestants Would Pick Any Obscure Bad Thing That Happened Anywhere In The World, And Paul Would Have 10 Seconds To Explain Why It Is President Bush's Fault.

If Colleges Wanted To Admit Only Legacies, Or Only Tuba Players, Or Only People Who Got Astonishingly Low Sat Scores ' To Ensure Some Of Their Graduates Would Be U.s. Senators One Day ' The Constitution Wouldn't Stop Them. What The States, Including State Colleges, Cannot Do Under The Constitution Is Discriminate On The Basis Of Race.

I Love The Question-and-answer. I Love To See Liberals Try To Thrash Their Way To A Coherent Argument. And Actually, I Think It's Fun To Debate.

The Media Will Spend Weeks Going Through Pay Stubs For Bush's National Guard Service In Alabama In The Waning Days Of War, But If Kerry Tells Them Exotic Tales Of Covert Missions Into Cambodia Directed By Richard Nixon, They Don't Even Bother To Fact-check Who Was President In December 1968.

Canada Used To Be...one Of Our Most...most Loyal Friends, And Vice Versa. I Mean, Canada Sent Troops To Vietnam. Was Vietnam Less Containable And More Of A Threat Than Saddam Hussein?

It’s Often Said That Those Who Are Unduly Bothered By Gays Are Latent Homosexuals. Isn’t It Possible That People Obsessed With Racism Are Themselves Racist.

A Cruise Missile Is More Important Than Head Start.

The Not-visibly-insane Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume. In Case You Missed This Profile In Democrat Machismo, The Democratic Presidential Candidates Are Refusing To Participate In A Debate Hosted By Fox News Channel Because The Hosts Are "biased." But They'll Face Down Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! At This, Even Hillary Clinton Was Thinking, "come On, Guys - Let's Grow A Pair."

The Question Isn't Whether We 'need' Guns. It's Wether The Government Should Have A Monopoly On Force

It's Impossible To Talk Without Labels. "dog" Is A Label, But That Doesn't Mean It's Meaningless, Nor Does It Mean There's No Difference In A Shih Tzu And A Doberman.

The Most Dangerous Action A Woman Can Take When Faced With A Criminal Is To Resist With Her Fists: That Tends To Annoy Violent Criminals, And The Woman Will Very Likely Be Seriously Injured. But A Woman Who Takes The Advice Of Handgun Control Inc. And Passively Submits Is 2.5 Times More Likely To Be Injured Than A Woman Who Resists With A Gun. So If You Don't Want To Lie Back And Enjoy It, Get A Gun. Otherwise You May Never Become A Mom.

The Klan Sees The World In Terms Of Race And Ethnicity. So Do Liberals

I Support Guns And I Support The Death Penalty. Half Of My Interviews Are Convincing Liberals They're Not Liberal.

What I And Other Commentators Do Is Attempt To Move The Public Opinion. We Try To Change Minds.

I Don't Really Understand The Point About Carping About Every Casualty, Every Bombing, Every Death. War Is Hell. That's Why People Say War Is Hell.

As The Titanic Losses Were Racking Up, Fannie Mae's Operators, Franklin Raines And Jamie Gorelick, Disguised The Catastrophe By Orchestrating A $5 Billion Accounting Fraud - All The While Continuing To Pressure Banks To Make Absurd, Politically Correct Loans And Denouncing Republicans As Enemies Of The Poor.

A Married Woman, The Safest Place For Any Woman To Be Is At Home With Her Husband.

Democrats Always Assure Us That Deterrence Will Work, But When The Time Comes To Deter, They're Against It.

Press Passes Can't Be That Hard To Come By If The White House Allows That Old Arab Helen Thomas To Sit Within Yards Of The President.

Liberals Are Hopping Mad Because Rush Limbaugh Referred To Phony Soldiers As "phony Soldiers." They Claim He Was Accusing All Democrats In The Military Of Being "phony." True, All Democrats In The Military Are Not Phony Soldiers, But All Phony Soldiers Seem To Be Democrats.

I Know Jesus Christ Died For My Sins, And That's All I Really Need To Know.

The Religion That Has Transformed Western Civilization For Two Millennia Is A Blank Slate For Liberals. Their Closest Reference Point Is Conservative Christians, Meaning People You're Not Supposed To Hire. And These Are The People Who Carp About George Bush's Alleged Lack Of Intellectual Curiosity.

Liberals Never, Ever Drop A Heinous Idea; They Just Change The Name. Abortion Becomes Choice, Communist Becomes Progressive, Communist Dictatorship Becomes People's Democratic Republic And Nikita Khrushchev Becomes Barack Obama.

The Only Sexism Involved In The Miers Nomination Is The Administration's Claim That Once They Decided They Wanted A Woman, Miers Was The Best They Could Do. Let Me Just Say, If The Top Male Lawyer In The Country Is John Roberts And The Top Female Lawyer Is Harriet Miers, We May As Well Stop Allowing Girls To Go To Law School.

The Afghan "negotiation Phase" Immediately Precedes The Traditional Afghan "surrender Phase." This Entails The Following: The Defeated Party Surrenders And Then Comes Out Shooting. This Is Repeated Several Times. Finally, The Vanquished Party Runs Out Of Ammunition And Is Forced To Surrender ' But Seriously This Time ' At Which Point The Victors Kill The Foreigners And Hug Their Fellow Afghans Like Long-lost Brothers.

If Liberals Were Prevented From Ever Again Calling Republicans Dumb, They Would Be Robbed Of Half Their Arguments. To Be Sure, They Would Still Have Racist, Fascist, Homophobe, Ugly, And A Few Other Highly Nuanced Arguments In The Quiver. But The Loss Of Dumb Would Nearly Cripple Them.

I Give Speeches At Megachurches Across America, And The One Thing That's Really Striking About It Is How Utterly, Completely Diverse They Are, And Completely Unself-consciously. At These Huge Megachurches The Idea That The More Christian You Are, The Less Tolerant You Would Be Is Preposterous.

...while A Sane World Would Not Employ 5-foot-tall Grandmothers As Law Enforcement Officers, A Sane World Would Also Not Give Full Body-cavity Searches To 5-foot-tall Grandmothers At Airports.

Democrats Cannot Conceive Of "hate Speech" Towards Christians Because, In Their Eyes, Christians Always Deserve It.

Women Like Pamela Harriman And Patricia Duff Are Basically Anna Nicole Smith From The Waist Down. Let's Just Call It For What It Is. They're Whores.

Liberals Despise The Rule Of Law Because It Interferes With Their Ability To Rule By Mob. They Love To Portray Themselves As The Weak Taking On The Powerful. But It Is The Least Powerful Who Suffer The Most Once The Rule Of Law Is Gone.

I'm Not Going To Be Lectured To.

I Have To Say I'm All For Public Flogging. One Type Of Criminal That A Public Humiliation Might Work Particularly Well With Are The Juvenile Delinquents, A Lot Of Whom Consider It A Badge Of Honor To Be Sent To Juvenile Detention. And It Might Not Be Such A Cool Thing In The 'hood To Be Flogged Publicly.

Liberals Believe In Burning The American Flag, Urinating On Crucifixes, And Passing Out Birth Control Pills To 11-year-olds Without Telling Their Parents -- But God Forbid An Infidel Touch A Quran At Guantanamo.

Judging By Their Positions At The Time, Rather Than Their Post Hoc Allegations, Democrats Adored The Soviet Union. Congressional Democrats Repeatedly Opposed Funding Anti-communist Rebels, They Opposed Reagan's Military Build-up, They Opposed Building A Shield To Protect America From Incoming Missiles, They Opposed Putting Missiles In Europe. As A Rule, Democrats Opposed Anything Opposed By Their Cherished Soviet Union.

Yes, Of Course, Black Americans Are A Special Group, And I'm Disappointed That They're Not Republicans, Given Our Traditions. We're Not Getting Much Love In Return, Despite Our Efforts.

Six Imams Removed From A Us Airways Flight From Minneapolis To Phoenix Are Calling On Muslims To Boycott The Airline. If Only We Could Get Muslims To Boycott All Airlines, We Could Dispense With Airport Security Altogether.

If We're So Cruel To Minorities, Why Do They Keep Coming Here? Why Aren't They Sneaking Across The Mexican Border To Make Their Way To The Taliban?

I Defy Any Of My Coreligionists To Tell Me They Do Not Laugh At The Idea Of Dawkins Burning In Hell.

Republicans Are Afraid To Act In Accordance With The Election Results. Republicans Seem To Be In Denial About Election Results. It's One Thing For Democrats To Be In Denial About The Republican Electoral Juggernaut, But It's Strange That Republicans Are In Denial About It Too.

Election Results

The Reason Any Conservative's Failing Is Always Major News Is That It Allows Liberals To Engage In Their Very Favorite Taunt: Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy Is The Only Sin That Really Inflames Them. Inasmuch As Liberals Have No Morals, They Can Sit Back And Criticize Other People For Failing To Meet The Standards That Liberals Simply Renounce. It's An Intriguing Strategy. By Openly Admitting To Being Philanderers, Draft Dodgers, Liars, Weasels And Cowards, Liberals Avoid Ever Being Hypocrites.

All Democrats For The Last 30 Years Have Tried To Stimulate The Economy By Giving 'tax Cuts' To People Who Don't Pay Taxes.

Obviously, I'm A Fan Of Satire. I'd Debate Anyone, But It Would Have To Be The Actual Person. That Would Be My Only Hesitation About Debating Stephen Colbert. If He Were Playing A Character, It Wouldn't Really Work.

Liberals Say This Over And Over And Over Again To Hide The Actual History, Which Is Why I Go Through The Specifics On The Big Segregationists In The United States Senate, The Ones Who Signed The Southern Manifesto And The Ones Who Voted Against The 1964 Civil Rights Act. There's A Panoply Of Issues To Consider. The First Time They Objected To The Federal Government Doing Something Was When It Came To Civil Rights Legislation. This Is In Stark Contrast To The Very Few Republicans Who Voted Against The '64 Civil Rights Act.

I Never Wanted To Be Famous And The Only Part I Like Is That It Means People Are Reading My Books And Listening To Me On Tv And Radio.

I Sort Of Feel Sorry For Gays Being The Last Ones At The Sexual Revolution Window. We've Had Liberalizing Rules On Divorce. We've Had The Sexual Revolution. We've Had, You Know, The Pill, And Burning Bras And Rampant Premarital Sex And Polymorphous Perversity.

Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume.

When Minutemen Leader Jim Gilchrist And His Black Colleague Marvin Stewart Were Invited By The College Republicans To Speak At Columbia Last Year, The Tolerant, Free-speech-loving Columbia Students Violently Attacked Them, Shutting Down The Speech.

Would That It Were So! ... That The American Military Were Targeting Journalists.

American Military

There Is No More A 'political Middle' Than There Is A Family In America With 2.3 Children. People With Opinions Take Sides. Contrary To What You've Heard, It's Actually More Important To Stand For Something Than It Is For Everybody To 'just Get Along'.

There Are A Lot Of Bad Republicans; There Are No Good Democrats.

These Days, Even A Moderate Democrat Is Someone Who Thinks You Shouldn't Be Taught Fisting Until You're At Least 12 Years Old.

If The Press Really Thinks Obama Is Lincoln, They Ought To Treat Him Like They Treated Bush, 'cause That's How They Treated Lincoln. His Critics Compared Lincoln To An Ape; They Called Him An Illiterate Baboon.

With Albright At The Helm Of The State Department, Osama Bin Laden Ran Wild Throughout The Middle East, The North Koreans Began Feverishly Building Nukes Under Her Nose, And We Staged A Pre-emptive Attack Solely For Purposes Of Regime Change Based On False Information Presented To The American People By Albright About A World Leader Who Was Not An Imminent Threat To The United States. Slobodan Milosevic Wasn't Even A Latent, Long-term, Hypothetical Threat.

It Confirms My Idea That You Also Need More Liberal Gun Laws. Guns Lead To A Polite Society, As We Like To Say In The United States. And I Think That All Of Western Canada Would Agree With Me.

No Science Is Ever Frightening To Christians. Religious People Don't Need The Science To Come Out Any Particular Way On Iq Or Aids Or Sex Differences Any More Than They Need The Science To Come Out Any Particular Way On Evolution...if Evolution Is True, Then God Created Evolution.

Even If Corners Were Cut, (iran-contra) Was A Brilliant Scheme. There Is No Possibility That Anyone In Any Democratic Administration Would Have Gone To Such Lengths To Fund Anti-communist Forces. When Democrats Scheme From The White House, It's To Cover Up The President's Affair With An Intern. When Republicans Scheme, It's To Support Embattled Anti-communist Freedom Fighters Sold Out By The Democrats.

The Only Subject Fewer Authentic Americans Cared About Than The Treatment Of Prisoners At Guantanamo Was World Cup Soccer. America Is An Epic Global Battle With Ruthless Savages Who Seek Our Destruction, And Liberals Are Feeling Sorry For The Terrorists.

We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

Now Liberals Compare Their Every Riot, Every Traffic Blockage, Every Starbucks-window-smashing Street Protest To The Civil Rights Movement -- Which Was Only Necessary Because Of Them.

That Is The Theme Of The Million Mom March: 'i Don't Need A Brain - I've Got A Womb'.

Liberalism Is Part Of A Religious Disorder That Demands A Belief That Life Is Controllable.

According To The California Hospital Association, Health Care For Illegal Aliens Is Costing State Taxpayers Well Over $1 Billion A Year. Eighty-four Hospitals Across California Have Already Been Forced To Close Because Of Unpaid Bills By Illegal Aliens.

When Contemplating A Shield That Would Protect America For Incoming Missiles, Democrats Suddenly Became Hardheaded Fiscal Conservatives. For The First Time In Recorded History, Liberals Were Concerned About The Cost And Usefulness Of A Government Program. These People Believe Federally Funded Art Therapy For The Homeless Will Pay For Itself. That You Can Take To The Bank. But A Shield To Repel Incoming Nuclear Missiles From American Soil They Said, Was Too Expensive And Wouldn't Work.

[alan] Dershowitz Has Also Offered To Defend Osama Bin Laden In Court, Saying It Would Be An Act Of High Patriotism. It's Kind Of Too Bad There Isn't Going To Be A Trial. Having Dershowitz Defend Him Could Be Osama's Only Shot At Not Being The Least Popular Person In The Courtroom.

Democrats See Our Voluntary Military Supported By Taxpayer Dollars As Their Personal Salvation Army. Self-interested Behavior, Such As Deploying Troops To Serve The Nation, Is Considered Boorish In Manhattan Salons.

There Is A Growing Body Of Evidence That Radiation In Excess Of What The Government Says Are The Minimum Amounts We Should Be Exposed To Are Actually Good For You And Reduce Cases Of Cancer.

Public School Teachers Are The New Priesthood While Traditional Religion Is Ridiculed And Maligned.

Liberals Can't Just Come Out And Say, They Want To Take More Of Our Money, Kill Babies, And Discriminate On The Basis Of Race.

And Why Is It "homophobic" For Senate Republicans To Look Askance At Sex In Public Bathrooms? Is The Times Claiming That Sodomy In Public Bathrooms Is The Essence Of Being Gay? I Thought Gays Just Wanted To Get Married To One Another And Settle Down In The Suburbs So They Could Visit Each Other In The Hospital.

Married Women Vote Republican; Single Women Vote Democratic. That's Why Liberals Promote Policies To Break Up Families. Every Social Malady Is A Victory For The Left. A Couple Gets Divorced And Liberals Say, "yay! Another Democratic Voter!" A Child Is Born Out Of Wedlock And Liberals Say, "yay! Another Democratic Voter!" A Person Gets Addicted To Drugs And Liberals Say, "yay! Another Democratic Voter!"

College Campuses Have Become Fascist Colonies Of Anti-american Hate Speech, Hypersensitivity, Speech Codes, Banded Words And Prohibited Scientific Inquiry.

David Axelrod Says We Need To Inspire More Young People To Be Journalists? How About Inspiring Journalists To Be Journalists?

Our Gays Are More Macho Than Their Straights.

One Recent Menu For Suspected Terrorists At Guantanamo Consisted Of Orange Glazed Chicken, Fresh Fruit Crepe, Steamed Peas And Mushrooms, And Rice Pilaf. Sounds Like The Sort Of Thing You'd Get At Windows On The World - If It Still Existed.

Obamacare Would Never Have Passed Without Decades Of Massive Immigration From The Third World. Liberals Didn't Change Any Minds - They Changed The Voters.

The Man Responsible For Keeping Americans Safe From Another Terrorist Attack On American Soil For Nearly Seven Years Now Will Go Down In History As One Of America's Greatest Presidents.

There's Never A Recession If You Work For The Government.

I Think Obama Has Redefined The Democratic Party. It Used To Be The Party Of Acid, Amnesty, And Abortion, And Now It's Surrender, Socialism, And Subprime Mortgages.

My Hobby (politics) Has Become My Life. I Have The Greatest Life Imaginable. I Think I Have A Greater Life Than Anyone In The Universe, In Fact.

The Only Beef Enron Employees Have With Top Management Is That Management Did Not Inform Employees Of The Collapse In Time To Allow Them To Get In On The Swindle. If Enron Executives Had Shouted, "head For The Hills!" The Employees Might Have Had Time To Sucker Other Americans Into Buying Wildly Over-inflated Enron Stock. Just Because Your Boss Is A Criminal Doesn't Make You A Hero.

We Need To Execute People Like (john Walker Lindh) In Order To Physically Intimidate Liberals.

In June 2002, Airport Security Searched Al Gore. There's A Lot Not To Like About Gore, But He's Not A Terrorist. Gore Said He Was Glad He Was Searched. Why? To Spare A Terrorist The Trouble? This Is A Serious National Issue; Why Must Liberals Lie? Searching Al Gore Is Purely A Religious Act. It Is The Purposeless Fetishistic Performance Of Ritual In Accordance With The Civic Religion Of Liberalism.

We Were Terrified That Jones Would Settle. It Was Contrary To Our Purpose Of Bringing Down The President.

Reagan Took An Approach To The Cold War Dramatically Different From Any Other Us President. To Wit, He Thought We Should Win. This Was A Fresh Concept. At The Time, It Was Widely Ridiculed As A Dangerous Alteration Of Us Policy. Only After It Worked Was Reagan's Dangerous Foreign Policy Recast As Merely A Continuation Of The Policies Of His Predecessors.

I Am Emboldened By My Looks To Say Things Republican Men Wouldn't.

Hollywood Liberals Could Not Be Reached For Comment On The Cost Of The Inauguration Because They Were Being Fitted For Gowns And Jewelry Worth Millions Of Dollars In Anticipation Of Oscar Night.

On One Hand, Liberals Are Enraged At The Heinousness Of Mark Sanford - Whom They Didn't Vote For - For Not Resigning And, On The Other, They're Enraged At Palin - Whom They Also Didn't Vote For - For Resigning.

What I'm Critical Of Is - The White House Attacking Conservatives, For Saying We're Elitist For Pointing Out That Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Sit On The Supreme Court. I'm Starting To Feel Sort Of Bad About - About Saying That. And I'm Annoyed With George Bush [jr.] For Putting Us In The Position Of Having To Say That.

Usually The Nonsense Liberals Spout Is Kind Of Cute, But In Wartime Their Instinctive Idiocy Is Life-threatening.

Gore Said Foreigners Are Not Worried About 'what The Terrorist Networks Are Going To Do, But About What We're Going To Do.' Good. They Should Be Worried. They Hate Us? We Hate Them. Americans Don't Want To Make Islamic Fanatics Love Us. We Want To Make Them Die. There's Nothing Like Horrendous Physical Pain To Quell Anger. Japanese Kamikazes Pilots Hated Us Once, Too. A Couple Of Well-aimed Nuclear Weapons Got Their Attention. Now They Are Gentle Little Lambs.

...liberals Said The War Was A Failure Because We Hadn't Captured Abu Musab Al-zarqawi. Then We Killed Al-zarqawi And A Half-dozen Of His Aides In An Air Raid. Then They Said The War Was A Failure Because ... You Get The Picture.

That Is Obama's Signature Move: Invent People Who Are Saying Ridiculous Things And Then Encourage The Audience To Laugh At These Made-up Buffoons.

The Most Crazed Religious Fanatic Argues In More Calm And Reasoned Tones Than Liberals Responding To Statistics On Concealed-carry Permits.

My Only Regret With Timothy Mcveigh Is He Did Not Go To The New York Times Building.

A Word To Those Of You Out There Who Have Yet To Be Offended By Something I Have Said: Please Be Patient. I Am Working As Fast As I Can.

Why Not Go To War Just For Oil? We Need Oil. What Do Hollywood Celebrities Imagine Fuels Their Private Jets? How Do They Think Their Cocaine Is Delivered To Them?

When Liberals Start Acting Like They're Opposed To Pre-marital Sex And Mothers Having Careers, You Know Mccain's Vice Presidential Choice Has Knocked Them Back On Their Heels.

My Libertarian Friends Are Probably Getting A Little Upset Now But I Think That's Because They Never Appreciate The Benefits Of Local Fascism.

The Spirit Of The First Amendment Has Been Effectively Repealed For Conservative Speech By A Censorious, Accusatory Mob.

It Is A Law Of Nature That Everything Run By The Government Will Get More Expensive And Worse Over Time. Everything Run By The Private Sector Will Get Better And Cheaper Over Time. The Fact That [obamacare] Starts This Badly Does Not Bode Well....we Want Healthcare Run On The Same System That Gave Us Cell Phones, Flat Screens, Jerry Garcia Chia Pets. Everything You Submit To The Free Market...keeps Getting Better And Better.

The Idea Of A Bowed And Terrified Liberal Minority During Mccarthy's 'reign Of Terror' Is Poppycock. Then As Now, All Elite Opinion Was Against Mccarthy.

Between 1995 And 2005, The Prison Population Grew By 30 Percent, Meaning An Additional Half Million Criminals Were Behind Bars, Rather Than Lurking In Dark Alleys With Switchblades. You Can Well Imagine Liberals' Surprise When The Crime Rate Went Down As More Criminals Were Put In Prison. The New York Times Was Reduced To Running Querulous Articles With Headlines Like Number In Prison Grows Despite Crime Reduction And As Crime Rate Drops, The Prison Rate Rises And The Debate Rages.

I'd Pretty Much Debate Anybody. I Prefer To Debate Smart Liberals. I'm Not Saying This About Stephen Colbert But, Unfortunately, The Most Famous Liberals Generally Aren't The Smartest Ones. I Have A List Of The Smarter Liberals I Recommend.

It Is An Article Of Faith With The Democrats That They Must Fool Americans By Simulating Agreement With Normal People. The Winner Of The Democratic Primary Is Always The Candidate Who Does The Best Impersonation Of An American.

We Don't Want Someone Who Will Get 98 Percent Of The Vote. We Want Someone Who Will Get 51 Percent Of The Vote.

Looking At The Line-up Of Speakers At The (democratic National) Convention, I Have Developed The 7-11 Challenge: I Will Quit Making Fun Of, For Example, Dennis Kucinich, If He Can Prove He Can Run A 7-11 Properly For 8 Hours. We'll Even Let Him Have An Hour Or So Of Preparation Before We Open Up. Within 8 Hours, The Money Will Be Gone, The Store Will Be Empty, And He'll Be Explaining How Three 11-year Olds Came In And Asked For The Money And He Gave It To Them.

Liberals Don't Care. Their Approach Is To Rip Out Society's Foundations Without Asking If They Serve Any Purpose. Why Do We Have Immigration Laws? What's With These Borders? Why Do We Have The Institution Of Marriage, Anyway? What Do We Need Standardized Tests For? Hey, I Like Keith Richards - Why Not Make Heroin Legal? Let's Take A Sledgehammer To All These Load-bearing Walls And Just See What Happens!

Liberals Love To Strike Generous, Humanitarian Poses With Other People's Lives.

We're Bombarded With Liberal Propaganda 24/7, From The Early Morning Shows, Hollywood Movies, Documentaries And Sitcoms, All Major Newspapers, Fashion Magazines, The Sports Pages, Public Schools, College Professors And Administrators, Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera. Unless Liberals Specifically Seek Out Ann Coulter Books And Columns, Which I Highly Recommend, Or Tune Into Fox News Or Conservative Talk Radio, They Have No Idea What Conservatives Are Thinking.

Once Man's Connection To The Divine Is Denied, You Can Reason Yourself From Here To Anywhere.

For Decades Now, The Democrats Have Had A Good Gig Buying The Votes Of Government Workers With Outrageous Salaries, Benefits And Work Rules - And Then Sticking Productive Earners With The Bill. But, Now, We're Out Of Money.

In The Druidical Religion Of Liberalism, Not Separating Your Recyclables Is A Sin, But Abortion Is Just A Medical Procedure.

Since Vice President Al Gore Is Constantly Making Things Up, It Should Come As No Surprise That He Wants Supreme Court Justices Who Will Do The Same. As Gore Put It, He Will Appoint Judges Who View The Constitution As A 'document That Grows'.

Scott Brown's Victory In Massachusetts Has Got To Have Ted Kennedy Rolling Over In His Grave, Spilling His Drink.

The "european Union" Happens To Be Composed Of People Who Hate Our Guts. It Is The Continent Where Moveon.org-style Lunatics Are The Friendly, Pro-american Types And The Rest Are Crazy Muslims.

Listening To Liberals Invoke The Sanctity Of "science" To Promote Their Crackpot Ideas Creates The Same Uneasy Feeling As Listening To Bill Clinton Cite Scripture.

As President, Clinton Sold Burial Plots In Arlington Cemetery And Liberals Shrugged It Off. What Really Gets Their Goat Is The Autopen. Evidently, The Important Thing Was That Every One Of Those Pardons Clinton Sold For Cash On His Last Day In Office Was Signed By Bill Clinton Personally.

Here's A Foolproof Method For Keeping America Safe. Always Do The Exact 180-degree Opposite Of Whatever [jimmy] Carter Says, As Quickly As Possible.

In The Corporeal World, International Law Is Whatever The United States And Great Britain Say It Is.

There Is No Surer Proof Of Christ's Divinity Than That He Is Still So Hated Some Two Thousand Years After His Death.

For Years, Mount Holyoke Professor Joseph 'full Metal Jacket' Ellis Had Been Regaling Students, Interviewers And Friends With Gripping Stories Of His Service In Vietnam.

If A University Official's Letter Accusing A Speaker Of Having A Proclivity To Commit Speech Crimes Before She's Given The Speech - Which Then Leads To Facebook Postings Demanding That Ann Coulter Be Hurt, A Massive Riot And A Police-ordered Cancellation Of The Speech - Is Not Hate Speech, Then There Is No Such Thing As Hate Speech.

This Is No Time To Be Precious About Locating The Exact Individuals Directly Involved In This Particular Terrorist Attack.... We Know Who The Homicidal Maniacs Are. They Are The Ones Cheering And Dancing Right Now. We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

What's Curious About The Left's Current Obsession With Timothy Mcveigh Is That It Proves That - Despite A Frantic Search For 15 Years - Liberals Have Come Across No Better Evidence Of Burgeoning "right-wing Extremist" Violence Than A Drug-taking, Self-described "agnostic" Who Was Thrown Out Of The Michigan Militia And Who Proclaimed, "science Is My Religion." That Sounds More Like Bill Maher Than Rush Limbaugh.

The Left’s Idea Of “science” Is That We Should All Be Riding Bicycles And Using The Clivus Multrum Composting Latrines Instead Of Flush Toilets. Anyone Who Dissents, They Say — While Adjusting Their Healing Crystals For Emphasis — Is “afraid Of Science.”

...sean Penn Claimed To Be 'serv[ing] The Country' By Giving Aid And Comfort To An Enemy About To Be Attacked By The Us. He Said It Made Him Feel More Patriotic To Dissent From The War Aims Of His Nation. It Is At Least A Counterintuitive Position. Most People Would Not Instantly Grasp How It Is More Patriotic To Always Root Against America. White Supremacists Should Try Claiming That Burning Crosses Is More Supportive Of Civil Rights Than Not Burning Them.

Gay Marriage Is A Tricky Issue For The Democrats Due To The Fact That - Like Taxes, Defense And Education - They Are Forced To Lie About Their Position When Running For Office. In Other Words, Democrats Are Gay Marriage Supporters Trapped In The Bodies Of Candidates Who Oppose Gay Marriage. And No Issue-reassignment Surgery Can Help Them.

The New York Times And The Rest Of The Mainstream Media Will Only Refer To Partial Birth Abortion As 'what Its Opponents Refer To As Partial Birth Abortions.' What Do Its Supporters Call It? Casual Fridays? Bean-with-bacon Potato Chip Dip? Uh . . . Steve?

I Think The Government Should Be Spying On All Arabs, Engaging In Torture As A Televised Spectator Sport, Dropping Daisy Cutters Wantonly Throughout The Middle East And Sending Liberals To Guantanamo.

What Liberals Mean By 'goose-stepping' Or 'ethnic Cleansing' Is Generally Something Along The Lines Of 'eliminating Taxpayer Funding For The National Endowment For The Arts.' But They Can't Say That, Or People Would Realize They're Crazy.

Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Play A Supreme Court Justice On The West Wing , Let Alone To Be A Real One.

Liberals Hate Religion Because Politics Is A Religion Substitute For Liberals And They Can't Stand The Competition.

It May Be Annoying, But The Rash Of Hijackings By Connecticut Wasp Girls Surely Explains The Time-consuming - But Still Somehow Completely Useless - Examination Of My Personal Effects. We All Have To Make Sacrifices For Airline Safety.

I Am The Illegal Alien Of Commentary. I Will Do The Jokes That No One Else Will Do.

This Is What Christians Consider Themselves: Perfected Jews.

The Key To The U.n.'s Global Warming Study Was Man's Use Of Aerosol Spray. You Have To Know The French Were Involved In A Study Concluding That Arrid Extra Dry Is Destroying The Earth. In A World In Which Everyone Smelled, The French Would Be At No Disadvantage. Aerosol Spray. How Convenient.

We Just Want Jews To Be Perfected, As They Say.

We Have Way Too Many Lawyers, The Price For Them Has Plummeted And You Will Have A Miserable And Unsatisfying Life. Unless You Get Into Harvard Law. You Could Be In A Yurt On The Mongolian Plateau And They'll Say, "oh You Must Be Smart. You Went To Harvard Law."

I Think Our Party And Particularly Our Movement, The Conservative Movement, Does Have More Of A Problem With Con Men And Charlatans Than The Democratic Party. I Mean, The Incentives Seem To Be Set Up To Allow People - As Long As You Have A Band Of A Few Million Fanatical Followers, You Can Make Money. The Democrats Have Managed To Figure Out How Not To Do That.

Our Blacks Are Better Than Their's

But All Liberals Only Have Empathy For The Exact Same Victims - Always The Ones That Are Represented By Powerful Liberal Interest Groups.

As The Saying Goes: God Made Man And Woman; Colonel Colt Made Them Equal.

From The People Who Brought You "zero Tolerance," I Present The Gun-free Zone! Yippee! Problem Solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody Down! Hey, How Did That Deranged Loner Get A Gun Into This Gun-free Zone?

I Think Being Called A She-devil By A Trial Lawyer Is Meant As A Compliment.

To Be Sure, Conservative Radio Talk Show Hosts Have A Built-in Audience Unavailable To Liberals: People Driving Cars To Some Sort Of Job.

You Don't Want The Republicans In Power, Does That Mean You Want A Dictatorship, Gay Boy?

Science Is Something That You Have Facts. They Can Be Tested. They Can Be Checked. Heterosexual Aids, Another One.

Historically, The Best Way To Convert Liberals Is To Have Them Move Out Of Their Parents' Home, Get A Job, And Start Paying Taxes.

Either We're Removing A Dictator Who Currently Has Plans To Fund Terrorism Against American Citizens Or -- If Bush Is Completely Wrong And Eleanor Clift Is Completely Right -- We're Just Removing A Dictator Who Plans To Terrorize A Lot Of People In The Region, But Not Americans Specifically. Even For Someone Like Me, Who Doesn't Want America To Be The World's Policeman, The Risk Of Precipitous Action Against Saddam Hussein Doesn't Keep Me Up At Night.

The Presumption Of Innocence Only Means You Don't Go Right To Jail.

Presumption Of Innocence

I Promise You: No American Whose Great-grandfather Was Born Here Is Watching Soccer. One Can Only Hope That, In Addition To Learning English, These New Americans Will Drop Their Soccer Fetish With Time.

Conservatives Have A Problem With Women. For That Matter, All Men Do.

They Spent The Night In Jail, Where Their Progressive Views On Gay Marriage Served Them Well.

There Were Precisely Two Groups Of People Who Desperately Wanted Airport Security To Be Browbeaten Into Giving Suspicious Passengers A Pass: Terrorists And Democrats.

Democrats Haven't Been This Upset About An American Engaging In Free Speech Since Juanita Broaddrick Opened Her Yap.

I Am Not The First To Note The Vast Differences Between The Wall Street Protesters And The Tea Partiers. To Name Three: The Tea Partiers Have Jobs, Showers And A Point.

Any Growing Interest In Soccer Can Only Be A Sign Of The Nation's Moral Decay.

I've Decided To Cut Out The Part Of The Speech Where I Say Anything Nice About Democrats.

It's Just Like A Liberal, They Import Slaves, They Hold Slaves, They Fight For Slavery, They Go To War In A Civil War To Defend Slavery. They Then Install Legal Discrimination Against Blacks For A Hundred Years.

For Decades Now, [fuller] Torrey Has Been Warning America What Would Happen If The Dangerously Mentally Ill Were Deinstitutionalized, And It's All Come True. Today, The Only Place We Can Put Mental Patients Is On Msnbc.

It Was Not Lost On Osama Bin Laden That It Only Took 18 Dead In Somalia For The Great Satan To Pull Out. It Should Not Be Lost On Americans That This Is What The Democrats Are Again Demanding We Do In Iraq.

Osama Bin Laden

Obama Said, 'now Let Me Be Clear, Issues Of Women's Equality Are By No Means Simply An Issue For Islam.' No, He Said, 'the Struggle For Women's Equality Continues In Many Aspects Of American Life.' So On One Hand, 12-year-old Girls Are Stoned To Death For The Crime Of Being Raped In Muslim Countries. But On The Other Hand, We Still Don't Have Enough Female Firefighters Here In America.

In Another Show Of America's Force To The World, When The Soviets Invaded Afghanistan, Carter Responded By Boycotting The Olympics. And Thus Was A Fearsome Blow Struck At Little Fourteen-year-old American Girls Who Had Spent Their Lives Training For The Olympics.

I'm Sure There Are People Who Consider Themselves Democrats, Maybe Even Liberals, Who Are Good Christians, But If So I Do Not Think They Understand The Tenants Of Those Two Organizations.

If Mexican Farm Labor Is So Much Cheaper, Maybe We Should Be Growing Our Fruits And Vegetables In Mexico. There's Absolutely No Reason To Import Mexicans To Do Something They Could Do At Home And Then Sell To Us. I Believe This Is What Economists Call "competitive Advantage".

Liberal Soccer Moms Are Precisely As Likely To Receive Anthrax In The Mail As To Develop A Capacity For Linear Thinking.

I Wouldn't Know All That I Do About History, If I Spent My Time Watching Cartoons And Other Tv Shows.

Democrats Should Run Mahmoud Ahmadinejad For President. He's More Coherent Than Dennis Kucinich, He Dresses Like Their Base, He's More Macho Than John Edwards, And He's Willing To Show Up At A Forum Where He Might Get One Hostile Question - Unlike The Current Democratic Candidates For President Who Won't Debate On Fox News Channel. He's Not Married To An Impeached President, And The Name Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is Surely No More Frightening Than B. Hussein Obama.

Marriage Is Under Attack From So Many Different Areas. There Should Be Benefits Associated With Married People. Life Is Unfair. Maybe You Won't Find The Right Person And You Won't End Up Getting Married. Oh, Well, Life Is Unfair. But Married People, Because Of Their Capacity To Have Children, Even If They're Not Going To End Up Having Children, Even If They're Unable To Bear Children, Marriage Is An Institution That Is Absolutely Central To Civilization.

They've Hit Us And We've Got To Hit Back Hard, And I'm Not Just Talking About The Terrorists.

Clinton's Attempt To Socialize Healthcare Was The Second Most Disgusting Thing He Did In The Oval Office. I Can't Remember Was The First Thing Was.

This Is What Christianity Is. We Believe The Old Testament, But Ours Is More Like Federal Express. You Have To Obey Laws.

I Think [women] Should Be Armed But Should Not Vote ... Women Have No Capacity To Understand How Money Is Earned. They Have A Lot Of Ideas On How To Spend It ... It's Always More Money On Education, More Money On Child Care, More Money On Day Care.

The Portrayal Of Senator Joe Mccarthy As A Wild-eyed Demagogue Destroying Innocent Lives Is Sheer Liberal Hobgoblinism. Liberals Weren't Cowering In Fear During The Mccarthy Era. They Were Systematically Undermining The Nation's Ability To Defend Itself While Waging A Bellicose Campaign Of Lies To Blacken Mccarthy's Name. Everything You Think You Know About Mccarthy Is A Hegemonic Lie. Liberals Denounced Mccarthy Because They Were Afraid Of Getting Caught, So They Fought Back Like Animals To Hide Their Own Collaboration With A Regime As Evil As The Nazis.

Where There's Smoke Around A Conservative, There Are Journalists Furiously Rubbing Two Sticks Together.

Moore's Only Concession To The Democrats' Role-playing Is To Deny That He Is A Democrat, Hoping Enough Americans Were Taught By Public School Teachers That No One Will Know How To Look Up Moore's Voter Registration Card. Democrat.

Blacks Have A Special History, Since They Were Enslaved And Were Here As Early As The First Americans. I Hate To Sound Like A Liberal But These Are Facts. That Makes Blacks A Special Group.

The Democratic Party Supports Criminals And Islamic Terrorists But Has No Sympathy For Taxpayers.

As Bush Said, After Detailing Some Of Saddam Hussein's Charming Practices: “if This Is Not Evil, Then Evil Has No Meaning.” It's Not As If Anyone Is Worried That We're Making A Horrible Miscalculation And Could Be Removing The Iraqi Abraham Lincoln By Mistake.

Some People Say I'm Really Ugly And Anorexic; Some Say The Only Reason I'm On Tv Is Because I'm Pretty. I Say To Them: Get Your Slander Straight. You Are What You Are, Whether You're Small Or Skinny Or Smart Or Dumb. Just Do What You Do.

In Response To Skyrocketing Gas Prices, Liberals Say, Practically In Unison, 'we Can't Drill Our Way Out Of This Crisis.' What Does That Mean? This Is Like Telling A Starving Man, 'you Can't Eat Your Way Out Of Being Hungry!' 'you Can't Water Your Way Out Of Drought!' 'you Can't Sleep Your Way Out Of Tiredness!' 'you Can't Drink Yourself Out Of Dehydration!' Seriously, What Does It Mean? Finding More Oil Isn't Going To Increase The Supply Of Oil? It Is The Typical Democratic Strategy To Babble Meaningless Slogans, As If They Have A Plan. Their Plan Is: The Permanent Twilight Of The Human Race.

While The Form Of Treachery Varies Slightly From Case To Case, Liberals Always Manage To Take The Position That Most Undermines American Security.

The Really Amazing Part, To Me, Was When Florida Made It Into The Final Four, The Democrats Didn't Demand A Recount.

Liberals Are More Upset When A Tree Is Chopped Down Than When A Child Is Aborted. Even If One Rates An Unborn Child Less Than A Full-blown Person, Doesn't The Unborn Child Rate Slightly Higher Than Vegetation?

Whenever A Liberal Begins A Peevish Complaint With A Throat-clearing Equivocation Like, "of Course, We All Agree," Your Antennae Should Go Up. This Is How Liberals Couch Statements They Assume All Americans Would Demand They Make, But Which They Secretly Chafe At.

Liberals Tell Amazing Lies About Guns And Everything Else.

The New York Times Editorial Page Is Like A Ouija Board That Has Only Three Answers, No Matter What The Question. The Answers Are: Higher Taxes, More Restrictions On Political Speech And Stricter Gun Control.

Until You Can Intelligently Articulate The Other Side's Position, You Are Not An Adult. You Are A Liberal.

Whenever A Liberal Begins A Statement With 'i Don't Know Which Is More Frightening,' You Know The Answer Is Going To Be Pretty Clear.

Democrats Are Firm Believers In The Welfare State For Their Own Constituents, Whether That's A Crack Addict Mother Of Five Or A Wall Street Banker.

If You Attack The Clintons Publicly, Make Sure All Your Friends Know That You Are Not Planning Suicide, That You're Not Careless When You Drive A Car.

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