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Republicans Are Afraid To Act In Accordance With The Election Results. Republicans Seem To Be In Denial About Election Results. It's One Thing For Democrats To Be In Denial About The Republican Electoral Juggernaut, But It's Strange That Republicans Are In Denial About It Too.

-Ann Coulter

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Republicans Are Afraid To

Ann Coulter

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Republicans Are Afraid To Act In Accordance With The Election Results. Republicans Seem To Be In Denial About Election Results. It's One Thing For Democrats To Be In Denial About The Republican Electoral Juggernaut, But It's Strange That Republicans Are In Denial About It Too.

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Election Results

More From Ann Coulter

I Don't Really Understand The Point About Carping About Every Casualty, Every Bombing, Every Death. War Is Hell. That's Why People Say War Is Hell.

It's Really Hard To Be A Black Republican. I See What They Go Through. It's A Good Little Trick The Entire Mainstream Media Has Pulled By Describing Republicans As "racist! Racist! Racist!" And Then Turning Around And Laughing At Us For Not Having More Blacks In Our Party.

The Only Subject Fewer Authentic Americans Cared About Than The Treatment Of Prisoners At Guantanamo Was World Cup Soccer. America Is An Epic Global Battle With Ruthless Savages Who Seek Our Destruction, And Liberals Are Feeling Sorry For The Terrorists.

Because Of All Our Presidents, Barack Obama Is The One Most Likely To Be Descended From A Slave Trader, Since Kenya Had A Major Slave-trading Port, And The Muslims Were Heavily Involved In The Slave Trade.

You Never Run Into A Fundamentalist Christian As Intolerant Of - Take Anything, You Know, Homosexuality As A Liberal Who Has Just Found A Lit Cigarette In A Nonsmoking Section.

In Fact Sarah Palin Has Created More Jobs Than Obama Has. She Created Eleven Jobs Fact-checking At The Ap Just For The Palin Autobiography.

Moore's Only Concession To The Democrats' Role-playing Is To Deny That He Is A Democrat, Hoping Enough Americans Were Taught By Public School Teachers That No One Will Know How To Look Up Moore's Voter Registration Card. Democrat.

To Promote The Sales Of Gm Vehicles, Obama Says The Government Will Stand By Your Gm Car Warranty. And All The Taxpayers Will Get A Lube Job.

Liberals Hate America, They Hate "flag-wavers", They Hate Abortion Opponents, They Hate All Religions Except Islam (post 9/11). Even Islamic Terrorists Don't Hate America Like Liberals Do. They Don't Have The Energy. If They Had That Much Energy, They'd Have Indoor Plumbing By Now.

By 1973, John Kerry Had Already Accused American Soldiers Of Committing War Crimes In Vietnam, Thrown Someone Else's Medals To The Ground In An Anti-war Demonstration, And Married His First Heiress.

[senator]torricelli [d-nj] Will Leave Public Office With Just The Clothes On His Back, A Rolex Watch And Other Assorted Jewelry, A Tv Set, A Couple Of Racks Of Italian Suits, Some Jets Tickets, A Grandfather Clock And Three Paper Sacks Filled With Small, Unmarked Bills.

We Were Terrified That Jones Would Settle. It Was Contrary To Our Purpose Of Bringing Down The President.

Most People In The Tea Party Are Nice, But That Hasn't Stopped Liberals From Hating Them.

How Can Rogue Terrorists In Iraq Detonate Bombs? They're All Too Busy Flying Kites With Their Children! Hasn't [katrina Vanden Heuvel (queen Of The May At The Fun-loving Nation Magazine)] Seen Fahrenheit 9/11?

Liberals Love To Strike Generous, Humanitarian Poses With Other People's Lives.

It Confirms My Idea That You Also Need More Liberal Gun Laws. Guns Lead To A Polite Society, As We Like To Say In The United States. And I Think That All Of Western Canada Would Agree With Me.

In California, The Fabulously Rich Support The Poor With Government Jobs, Paid For By The Middle Class Which Is Now Living In Arizona.

Only A War That Serves No Conceivable National Interest Gets The New York Time's Endorsement. Liberals Warm To The Idea Of American Mothers Weeping For Their Sons, But Only If Their Deaths Will Not Make America Any Safer.

Marriage Is Under Attack From So Many Different Areas. There Should Be Benefits Associated With Married People. Life Is Unfair. Maybe You Won't Find The Right Person And You Won't End Up Getting Married. Oh, Well, Life Is Unfair. But Married People, Because Of Their Capacity To Have Children, Even If They're Not Going To End Up Having Children, Even If They're Unable To Bear Children, Marriage Is An Institution That Is Absolutely Central To Civilization.

The Most Crazed Religious Fanatic Argues In More Calm And Reasoned Tones Than Liberals Responding To Statistics On Concealed-carry Permits.

There Is No More A 'political Middle' Than There Is A Family In America With 2.3 Children. People With Opinions Take Sides. Contrary To What You've Heard, It's Actually More Important To Stand For Something Than It Is For Everybody To 'just Get Along'.

Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume.

There Is A Growing Body Of Evidence That Radiation In Excess Of What The Government Says Are The Minimum Amounts We Should Be Exposed To Are Actually Good For You And Reduce Cases Of Cancer.

The Only Question I'd Be Interested In Is What Books Other Celebrities Have Read Recently, Which Is Part Of My Campaign To Promote Reading.

That Is [liberalism's] Goal - To Destroy The Family... [liberals] Just Made Up This Gay Marriage Thing Gays Are Natural Conservatives.

In The Spirit Of Reaching Across The Aisle, We Owe It To The Democrats To Show Their President The Exact Same Kind Of Respect And Loyalty That They Have Shown Our Recent Republican President.

What Liberals Mean By 'goose-stepping' Or 'ethnic Cleansing' Is Generally Something Along The Lines Of 'eliminating Taxpayer Funding For The National Endowment For The Arts.' But They Can't Say That, Or People Would Realize They're Crazy.

Almost Everything Wrong With Our Health Care System Comes From Government Interference With The Free Market. If The Health Care System Is Broken, Then Fix It. Don't Try To Invent A New One Premised On All The Bad Ideas That Are Causing Problems In The First Place.

Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Play A Supreme Court Justice On The West Wing , Let Alone To Be A Real One.

There's Never A Recession If You Work For The Government.

You Want To Be Careful Not To Become Just A Blowhard.

His Pomposity Is Overshadowed Only By His Rank Stupidity

For Years, Mount Holyoke Professor Joseph 'full Metal Jacket' Ellis Had Been Regaling Students, Interviewers And Friends With Gripping Stories Of His Service In Vietnam.

Obamacare Would Never Have Passed Without Decades Of Massive Immigration From The Third World. Liberals Didn't Change Any Minds - They Changed The Voters.

If You Attack The Clintons Publicly, Make Sure All Your Friends Know That You Are Not Planning Suicide, That You're Not Careless When You Drive A Car.

Liberals Don't Care. Their Approach Is To Rip Out Society's Foundations Without Asking If They Serve Any Purpose. Why Do We Have Immigration Laws? What's With These Borders? Why Do We Have The Institution Of Marriage, Anyway? What Do We Need Standardized Tests For? Hey, I Like Keith Richards - Why Not Make Heroin Legal? Let's Take A Sledgehammer To All These Load-bearing Walls And Just See What Happens!

Public School Teachers Are The New Priesthood While Traditional Religion Is Ridiculed And Maligned.

As Bush Said, After Detailing Some Of Saddam Hussein's Charming Practices: “if This Is Not Evil, Then Evil Has No Meaning.” It's Not As If Anyone Is Worried That We're Making A Horrible Miscalculation And Could Be Removing The Iraqi Abraham Lincoln By Mistake.

Liberals Are Hopping Mad Because Rush Limbaugh Referred To Phony Soldiers As "phony Soldiers." They Claim He Was Accusing All Democrats In The Military Of Being "phony." True, All Democrats In The Military Are Not Phony Soldiers, But All Phony Soldiers Seem To Be Democrats.

Liberals Want The Family Destroyed, They Want Religion Destroned, Because Then You Have Loyalty Directly To The State.

I Promise You: No American Whose Great-grandfather Was Born Here Is Watching Soccer. One Can Only Hope That, In Addition To Learning English, These New Americans Will Drop Their Soccer Fetish With Time.

The Presumption Of Innocence Only Means You Don't Go Right To Jail.

Presumption Of Innocence

Republicans Have Reached Out So Much To Black Republicans Because It's Part Of Our Tradition. Blacks Have Been In This Nation Longer Than Most Other Americans With The Possible Exception Of White Anglo-saxon Protestant. The First Blacks In Congress And The First Black Governor Were All Republicans. It Was Republicans Who Fought The Civil War Over Slavery And Who Introduced The Civil Rights Legislation Over The Next Hundred Years.

Liberal Moms Like Soccer Because It's A Sport In Which Athletic Talent Finds So Little Expression That Girls Can Play With Boys. No Serious Sport Is Co-ed, Even At The Kindergarten Level.

What I And Other Commentators Do Is Attempt To Move The Public Opinion. We Try To Change Minds.

Isn't Food Important? Why Not "universal Food Coverage"? If Politicians And Employers Had Guaranteed Us "free" Food 50 Years Ago, Today Democrats Would Be Wailing About The "food Crisis" In America, And You'd Be On The Phone With Your Food Care Provider Arguing About Whether Or Not A Reuben Sandwich With Fries Was Covered Under Your Plan.

Where There's Smoke Around A Conservative, There Are Journalists Furiously Rubbing Two Sticks Together.

Once Man's Connection To The Divine Is Denied, You Can Reason Yourself From Here To Anywhere.

Well, Before The New Deal...[the Emancipation Proclamation] Would Be A Good Start.

Emancipation Proclamation

If Liberals Think They Are Losing Elections Because Of The Conservative Bias In The Media, They May As Well Give Up Right Now.

For Decades Now, The Democrats Have Had A Good Gig Buying The Votes Of Government Workers With Outrageous Salaries, Benefits And Work Rules - And Then Sticking Productive Earners With The Bill. But, Now, We're Out Of Money.

I've Decided To Cut Out The Part Of The Speech Where I Say Anything Nice About Democrats.

That Is The Theme Of The Million Mom March: 'i Don't Need A Brain - I've Got A Womb'.

...the Definition Of Swiftboating Is: Producing Irrefutable Evidence That A Democrat Is Lying.

Let's Say I Go Out Every Night, I Meet A Guy And Have Sex With Him. Good For Me. I'm Not Married.

Liberals Don't Mind Discussing Who Is More Patriotic If Patriotism Is Defined As Redistributing Income And Vetoing The Pledge Of Allegiance. Only If Patriotism Is Defined As Supporting America Do They Get Testy And Drone On About 'mccarthyism.'

I Love The Question-and-answer. I Love To See Liberals Try To Thrash Their Way To A Coherent Argument. And Actually, I Think It's Fun To Debate.

I Was Going To Have A Few Comments On The Other Democratic Presidential Candidate, John Edwards, But It Turns Out That You Have To Go Into Rehab If You Use The Word 'faggot.'

Government Workers Think The Job Of Everyone Else In The Economy Is To Protect Their High Salaries, Crazy Work Rules And Obscene Pensions. They Self-righteously Lecture Us About Public Service, The Children, A 'living Wage' All In The Service Of Squeezing More Money From The Taxpayer To Fund Their Breathtakingly Selfish Job Arrangements.

Like The Archers Of Agincourt, John O'neal And The 254 Swiftboat Veterans Took Down Their Own Haughty Frenchman.

Just As We're Always Told That Schoolyard Bullies Are Actually Deeply Insecure, Liberals Rationalize Their Own Ferocious Behavior By Claiming To Have Been Wounded Somehow. What About The Little Guy Our Poor, Insecure Bully Is Beating The Living Daylights Out Of? How's His Self-esteem Coming Along? That Is The Essence Of Liberals: They Viciously Attack Everyone Else, While Wailing That They Are The Victims.

I Think There Should Be A Literacy Test And A Poll Tax For People To Vote.

The Only Beef Enron Employees Have With Top Management Is That Management Did Not Inform Employees Of The Collapse In Time To Allow Them To Get In On The Swindle. If Enron Executives Had Shouted, "head For The Hills!" The Employees Might Have Had Time To Sucker Other Americans Into Buying Wildly Over-inflated Enron Stock. Just Because Your Boss Is A Criminal Doesn't Make You A Hero.

Why Don't Republicans Spend All Their Airtime Attacking The Media For Lying About What Obama's Amnesty Does And What The Democrats Are Doing? It's Hard To Avoid Concluding That Republicans Aren't Trying To Make The Right Arguments. In Fact, It Kind Of Looks Like They're Intentionally Throwing The Fight On Amnesty. If A Republican Majority In Both Houses Of Congress Can't Stop Obama From Issuing Illegal Immigrants Social Security Cards And Years Of Back Welfare Payments, There Is No Reason To Vote Republican Ever Again.

I Think [women] Should Be Armed But Should Not Vote ... Women Have No Capacity To Understand How Money Is Earned. They Have A Lot Of Ideas On How To Spend It ... It's Always More Money On Education, More Money On Child Care, More Money On Day Care.

All We Can Do Is Politely Ask Aliens From Suspect Nations To Leave ... While We Sort The Peace-loving Immigrants From The Murderous Fanatics.... Muslim Immigrants Who Agree To Spy On The Millions Of Muslim Citizens Unaffected By The Deportation Order Can Stay.

Clinton Masturbates In The Sinks.

Not All Muslims May Be Terrorists, But All Terrorists Are Muslims.

Whenever You Come Across A Screw-up This Big, You Know The Government Is Behind It.

Why Is It That The Same People Who Have The Least Confidence In The Police And The Military Are The Most Willing To Allow Only The Police And The Military To Have Guns?

Perhaps Like The Many And Various Meanings Of The Word "we," Liberals Use The Word "unsubstantiated" To Mean "tested Repeatedly And Proved True."

We Need To Execute People Like (john Walker Lindh) In Order To Physically Intimidate Liberals.

If Americans Loved Judicial Activism, Liberals Wouldn't Be Lying About What It Is. Judicial Activism Means Making Up Constitutional Rights In Order To Strike Down Laws The Justices Don't Like Based On Their Personal Preferences. It's Not Judicial Activism To Strike Down Laws Because They Violate The Constitution.

On One Hand, Liberals Are Enraged At The Heinousness Of Mark Sanford - Whom They Didn't Vote For - For Not Resigning And, On The Other, They're Enraged At Palin - Whom They Also Didn't Vote For - For Resigning.

If Liberals Were Prevented From Ever Again Calling Republicans Dumb, They Would Be Robbed Of Half Their Arguments. To Be Sure, They Would Still Have Racist, Fascist, Homophobe, Ugly, And A Few Other Highly Nuanced Arguments In The Quiver. But The Loss Of Dumb Would Nearly Cripple Them.

Liberals Could Live Their Whole Lives Never Having To Hear An Actual Conservative Opinion Other Than The Idiotic Arguments Written For Conservative Characters On Aaron Sorkin's Little Teleplays.

Stem-cell Research On Embryos Is An Even Worse Excuse For The Slaughter Of Life Than Abortion. No Woman Is Even Being Spared An Inconvenience This Time.... It's Just Harvest And Slaughter, Harvest And Slaughter, Harvest And Slaughter.

When Your Party Is Controlled By A Billionaire Rootless International Financier Who Expresses 'no Sense Of Guilt' For Collaborating With The Nazis, You Might Want To Ease Up On Lecturing The Rest Of Us About The Evil Rich.

How About A New Game Show Called 'battle Begala?' Contestants Would Pick Any Obscure Bad Thing That Happened Anywhere In The World, And Paul Would Have 10 Seconds To Explain Why It Is President Bush's Fault.

In A Comprehensive Study Of All Public Multiple Shooting Incidents In America Between 1977 And 1999, Economists John Lott And Bill Landes Found That The Only Public Policy That Reduced Both The Incidence And Casualties Of Such Shootings Were Concealed-carry Laws. Not Only Are There 60 Percent Fewer Gun Massacres After States Adopt Concealed-carry Laws, But The Death And Injury Rate Of Such Rampages Are Reduced By 80 Percent.

Although God Believers Don't Need Evolution To Be False, Atheists Need Evolution To Be True.

Cbs Is Planning A Tribute To Dan Rather... The Memo Went Out A Month Ago But Everyone Assumed It Was A Fake.

Liberals Don't Love Big Government Because They Think It's Efficient, Compassionate, Fair Or Even Remotely Useful. They Support Big Government Because They Are Guaranteed The Support Of Nearly Everyone Who Works For The Government.

When A Feminist As Strident As Garofalo Is Defending The Hussein Regime, You Have To Wonder If Her Newfound Sobriety Has Hit A Rough Patch.

I Don't Think I Have An Unkind Word For Any.except Muslims. I've Been Cross With Them Since 9/11 2001. I Can't Remember Why But It Was Something Bad.

Historically, The Best Way To Convert Liberals Is To Have Them Move Out Of Their Parents' Home, Get A Job, And Start Paying Taxes.

Canada Used To Be...one Of Our Most...most Loyal Friends, And Vice Versa. I Mean, Canada Sent Troops To Vietnam. Was Vietnam Less Containable And More Of A Threat Than Saddam Hussein?

Liberals Are Stalwart Defenders Of Civil Liberties - Provided We're Only Talking About Criminals.

Harvard Graduates Just Cannot Shake The Idea That They Know Better Than Everyone Else What's Best For Us And That They're Capable Of Running A Mammoth, Unwieldy Government Program Providing Each One Of Us With The Precise Health Insurance We Need, At A Good Price, With No Waste Or Fraud. Trust Them, They Worked It All Out On Paper Their Junior Year.

I Am Emboldened By My Looks To Say Things Republican Men Wouldn't.

You Can Describe Christianity And You Can Also Describe Liberalism. Christianity Has Certain Beliefs, Tenets, Doctrines. Not All Christians Are Always Living Up To Them. Similarly, Not All Liberals Are Living Up To The Tenets Of Liberalism.

I Think [whitewater]'s Going To Prevent The First Lady From Running For Senate.

When Contemplating College Liberals, You Really Regret Once Again That John Walker Is Not Getting The Death Penalty.we Need To Execute People Like John Walker In Order To Physically Intimidate Liberals, By Making Them Realize That They Can Be Killed Too. Otherwise They Will Turn Out To Be Outright Traitors.

The Democrats Appear To Be The Only People Who Still Believe There Is Any Efficacy To The Un.

Why Couldn't Obama Have Picked Somebody Respectable As His Running Mate, You Know, Like John Kerry Did?

Walking Back From The Convention Site I Chatted With A Normal Bostonian For Several Blocks -- Who Must Have Identified Me Through Our Covert System Of Signals. He Was Mostly Bemused By The Democrats' Primetime Speakers And Told Me He Used To Be An Independent, But For The Last 20 Years Found Himself Voting Mostly Republican. Then He Corrected Himself And Said He Votes For The American.

What Actually Happened During The Clinton Presidency? No One Can Remember Anything About It Except The Bimbos, The Lies, And The Felonies

I Give Speeches At Megachurches Across America, And The One Thing That's Really Striking About It Is How Utterly, Completely Diverse They Are, And Completely Unself-consciously. At These Huge Megachurches The Idea That The More Christian You Are, The Less Tolerant You Would Be Is Preposterous.

Liberals Dispute That Reagan Won The Cold War On The Basis Of Their Capacity To Put Mocking Quotation Marks Around The Word, Won. That's Pretty Much The Full Argument: Restate A Factual Proposition With Sneering Quote Marks.

Quotation Marks

Everything That Liberals Want They Call A Civil Right. This Avoids Them Having To Argue About It And Puts The Halo Around The Issue.

Even If Evolution Were True, It Wouldn't Disprove God. God Has Performed More Spectacular Feats Than Evolution. It's Not Even A Daunting Challenge To A Belief In God. If You Want Something That Complicates A Belief In God, Try Coming To Terms With Michael Moore Being One Of God's Special Creatures.

Press Passes Can't Be That Hard To Come By If The White House Allows That Old Arab Helen Thomas To Sit Within Yards Of The President.

[alan] Dershowitz Has Also Offered To Defend Osama Bin Laden In Court, Saying It Would Be An Act Of High Patriotism. It's Kind Of Too Bad There Isn't Going To Be A Trial. Having Dershowitz Defend Him Could Be Osama's Only Shot At Not Being The Least Popular Person In The Courtroom.

The Question Isn't Whether We 'need' Guns. It's Wether The Government Should Have A Monopoly On Force

I Know Jesus Christ Died For My Sins, And That's All I Really Need To Know.

As President, Clinton Sold Burial Plots In Arlington Cemetery And Liberals Shrugged It Off. What Really Gets Their Goat Is The Autopen. Evidently, The Important Thing Was That Every One Of Those Pardons Clinton Sold For Cash On His Last Day In Office Was Signed By Bill Clinton Personally.

To Expiate The Pain Of Losing Her Firstborn Son In The Iraq War, Cindy Sheehan Decided To Cheer Herself Up By Engaging In Stalinist Agitprop Outside President Bush's Crawford Ranch, ... It's The Strangest Method Of Grieving I've Seen Since Paul Wellstone's Funeral. Someone Needs To Teach These Liberals How To Mourn.

Being Nice To People Is, In Fact, One Of The Incidental Tenets Of Christianity, As Opposed To Other Religions Whose Tenets Are More Along The Lines Of 'kill Everyone Who Doesn't Smell Bad And Doesn't Answer To The Name Mohammed'

Fundamentalist Religion

If I'm Going To Say Anything About John Edwards In The Future, I'll Just Wish He Had Been Killed In A Terrorist Assassination Plot.

Clinton's Attempt To Socialize Healthcare Was The Second Most Disgusting Thing He Did In The Oval Office. I Can't Remember Was The First Thing Was.

I'd Pretty Much Debate Anybody. I Prefer To Debate Smart Liberals. I'm Not Saying This About Stephen Colbert But, Unfortunately, The Most Famous Liberals Generally Aren't The Smartest Ones. I Have A List Of The Smarter Liberals I Recommend.

The New York Times Editorial Page Is Like A Ouija Board That Has Only Three Answers, No Matter What The Question. The Answers Are: Higher Taxes, More Restrictions On Political Speech And Stricter Gun Control.

Either We're Removing A Dictator Who Currently Has Plans To Fund Terrorism Against American Citizens Or -- If Bush Is Completely Wrong And Eleanor Clift Is Completely Right -- We're Just Removing A Dictator Who Plans To Terrorize A Lot Of People In The Region, But Not Americans Specifically. Even For Someone Like Me, Who Doesn't Want America To Be The World's Policeman, The Risk Of Precipitous Action Against Saddam Hussein Doesn't Keep Me Up At Night.

Because Of The Industrialization Of Agriculture -- Using Massive Amounts Of Fossil Fuel -- Only 2 Percent Of Americans Work In Farming. And Yet They Produce Enough Food To Feed All 300 Million Americans, With Plenty Left Over For Export. When Are Liberals Going To Break The News To Their Friends In Darfur That They All Have To Starve To Death To Save The Planet?

Industrialization

There Is No Surer Proof Of Christ's Divinity Than That He Is Still So Hated Some Two Thousand Years After His Death.

It's Impossible To Talk Without Labels. "dog" Is A Label, But That Doesn't Mean It's Meaningless, Nor Does It Mean There's No Difference In A Shih Tzu And A Doberman.

Anyplace Market Forces Have Been Artificially Removed By The Government There Is A Total Absence Of Incentives, Competition, Effective Oversight, Cost Controls And So On.

The New York Times And The Rest Of The Mainstream Media Will Only Refer To Partial Birth Abortion As 'what Its Opponents Refer To As Partial Birth Abortions.' What Do Its Supporters Call It? Casual Fridays? Bean-with-bacon Potato Chip Dip? Uh . . . Steve?

I Wouldn't Know All That I Do About History, If I Spent My Time Watching Cartoons And Other Tv Shows.

Liberals Go Straight To Ugly Racist Stereotypes When Attacking Conservative Blacks, Calling Them Oversexualized, Stupid And/or Incompetent.

The Idea Of A Bowed And Terrified Liberal Minority During Mccarthy's 'reign Of Terror' Is Poppycock. Then As Now, All Elite Opinion Was Against Mccarthy.

At Least When Right-wingers Rant There's A Point.

Gay Marriage Is A Tricky Issue For The Democrats Due To The Fact That - Like Taxes, Defense And Education - They Are Forced To Lie About Their Position When Running For Office. In Other Words, Democrats Are Gay Marriage Supporters Trapped In The Bodies Of Candidates Who Oppose Gay Marriage. And No Issue-reassignment Surgery Can Help Them.

Bush Won The Largest Popular Vote In History With A 3.5 Million Margin. Indeed, Simply By Getting A Majority Of The Country To Vote For Him - The Left's Most Hated Politician Since Richard Nixon - Bush Did Something Rock Star Bill Clinton Never Did. Bush Maintained Or Increased His Vote In Every State But Vermont.

The Only Important Lesson From The Vietnam War Is This: Democrats Lose Wars.

In Response To Skyrocketing Gas Prices, Liberals Say, Practically In Unison, 'we Can't Drill Our Way Out Of This Crisis.' What Does That Mean? This Is Like Telling A Starving Man, 'you Can't Eat Your Way Out Of Being Hungry!' 'you Can't Water Your Way Out Of Drought!' 'you Can't Sleep Your Way Out Of Tiredness!' 'you Can't Drink Yourself Out Of Dehydration!' Seriously, What Does It Mean? Finding More Oil Isn't Going To Increase The Supply Of Oil? It Is The Typical Democratic Strategy To Babble Meaningless Slogans, As If They Have A Plan. Their Plan Is: The Permanent Twilight Of The Human Race.

Swing Voters Are More Appropriately Known As The 'idiot Voters' Because They Have No Set Of Philosophical Principles. By The Age Of Fourteen, You're Either A Conservative Or A Liberal If You Have An Iq Above A Toaster.

Lawyers Tend To Be Bright People. They Tend To Be-much More Than Many Journalists I've Encountered-sticklers For Detail And Accuracy, And They Have A Logical Way Of Arguing.

If We Took Away Women's Right To Vote, We'd Never Have To Worry About Another Democrat President.

This Week's Winner For Best Comedy Line About The War Is New York Democratic Sen. Charles Schumer. Referring To - Well, It Doesn't Really Matter What He Was Referring To.

Conservatives Have A Problem With Women. For That Matter, All Men Do.

Gays (homosexuals) Usually Bring Up The Argument About All The Straight Couples Living In 'sham' Marriages, But I See No Point In Dragging The Clintons Into This

Obama Said, 'now Let Me Be Clear, Issues Of Women's Equality Are By No Means Simply An Issue For Islam.' No, He Said, 'the Struggle For Women's Equality Continues In Many Aspects Of American Life.' So On One Hand, 12-year-old Girls Are Stoned To Death For The Crime Of Being Raped In Muslim Countries. But On The Other Hand, We Still Don't Have Enough Female Firefighters Here In America.

Like So Many Liberal Icons, Marx Seldom Bathed And Left His Wife And Children In Poverty. As Schlafly Says, No Wonder Liberal Women Think Men Are Pigs: Their Men Are Pigs.

Until You Can Intelligently Articulate The Other Side's Position, You Are Not An Adult. You Are A Liberal.

Instead Of 'counterrevolutionaries,' Liberals' Opponents Are Called 'haters,' 'those Who Seek To Divide Us,' 'tea Baggers,' And 'right-wing Hate Groups.' Meanwhile, Conservatives Call Liberals 'liberals'-and That Makes Them Testy.

In The History Of The Nation, There Has Never Been A Political Party So Ridiculous As Today's Democrats. It's As If All The Brain-damaged People In America Got Together And Formed A Voting Bloc.

Usually The Nonsense Liberals Spout Is Kind Of Cute, But In Wartime Their Instinctive Idiocy Is Life-threatening.

When Obama Boasts That It Will Be A Huge Boon To The Economy To Give Amnesty To Millions Of Low-wage Workers, Who Won't Pay Income Taxes But Will Need A Lot Of Government Services, Remember: Obamacare Was Supposed To Save Money, Too.

Invalidating Laws Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With Judicial Activism. It Depends On Whether The Law Is Unconstitutional Or Not. That's Really The Key Point.

The Truth Cannot Be Delivered With Novocaine.

If It Were True That Conservatives Were Racist, Sexist, Homophobic, Fascist, Stupid, Inflexible, Angry, And Self-righteous, Shouldn't Their Arguments Be Easy To Deconstruct? Someone Who Is Making A Point Out Of Anger, Ideology, Inflexibility, Or Resentment Would Presumably Construct A Flimsy Argument. So Why Can't The Argument Itself Be Dismembered Rather Than The Speaker's Personal Style Or Hidden Motives? Why The Evasions?

Democrats Couldn't Care Less If People In Indiana Hate Them. But If Europeans Curl Their Lips, Liberals Can't Look At Themselves In The Mirror.

They Spent The Night In Jail, Where Their Progressive Views On Gay Marriage Served Them Well.

The Only Place Al Gore Conserves Energy These Days Is On The Treadmill. I Don't Want To Suggest That Al's Getting Big, But The Last Time I Saw Him On Tv I Thought, "that Reminds Me - We Have To Do Something About Saving The Polar Bears." Never Mind His Carbon Footprint - Have You Seen The Size Of Al Gore's Regular Footprint Lately? It's Almost As Deep As Janet Reno's.

Carbon Footprint

Liberals Believe In Burning The American Flag, Urinating On Crucifixes, And Passing Out Birth Control Pills To 11-year-olds Without Telling Their Parents -- But God Forbid An Infidel Touch A Quran At Guantanamo.

Any Growing Interest In Soccer Can Only Be A Sign Of The Nation's Moral Decay.

The Beauty Of Being A Liberal Is That History Always Begins This Morning. Every Day Liberals Can Create A New Narrative That Destroys The Past As It Occurred. We Have Always Been At War With Eastasia.

Liberals Don't Have To Emerge From The Hot Tub And Start Attending Nascar Races Or - God Forbid - Church, But It Would Be Nice If They'd Stop Lying All The Time.

Weirdly Enough, The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Black People In The Last Twenty Or Thirty Years Was The O.j. Simpson Verdict Because It Shut Down The White Guilt Bank. And White Guilt Has Never Led To Anything Good. It's Brought Us Spiraling Crime Rates, Mostly With Black Victims, And A Permanent Underclass Living In Public Housing Projects. For Years, Liberals Cried That "law And Order" And "welfare Reform" Were Racist Code Words.

If You Don't Hate Clinton And The People Who Labored To Keep Him In Office, You Don't Love Your Country.

Liberals Can't Just Come Out And Say, They Want To Take More Of Our Money, Kill Babies, And Discriminate On The Basis Of Race.

Looking At The Line-up Of Speakers At The (democratic National) Convention, I Have Developed The 7-11 Challenge: I Will Quit Making Fun Of, For Example, Dennis Kucinich, If He Can Prove He Can Run A 7-11 Properly For 8 Hours. We'll Even Let Him Have An Hour Or So Of Preparation Before We Open Up. Within 8 Hours, The Money Will Be Gone, The Store Will Be Empty, And He'll Be Explaining How Three 11-year Olds Came In And Asked For The Money And He Gave It To Them.

It Is A Law Of Nature That Everything Run By The Government Will Get More Expensive And Worse Over Time. Everything Run By The Private Sector Will Get Better And Cheaper Over Time. The Fact That [obamacare] Starts This Badly Does Not Bode Well....we Want Healthcare Run On The Same System That Gave Us Cell Phones, Flat Screens, Jerry Garcia Chia Pets. Everything You Submit To The Free Market...keeps Getting Better And Better.

If Mexican Farm Labor Is So Much Cheaper, Maybe We Should Be Growing Our Fruits And Vegetables In Mexico. There's Absolutely No Reason To Import Mexicans To Do Something They Could Do At Home And Then Sell To Us. I Believe This Is What Economists Call "competitive Advantage".

The Idea That Making An Activity Legal Would Reduce Its Incidence Is Preposterous. This Is Exactly Like The Clintonian Statement About Wanting To Make Abortion 'safe, Legal And Rare.' The Most Effective Way To Make Something 'rare' Is To Make It Illegal.

These Days, Even A Moderate Democrat Is Someone Who Thinks You Shouldn't Be Taught Fisting Until You're At Least 12 Years Old.

When Liberals Start Acting Like They're Opposed To Pre-marital Sex And Mothers Having Careers, You Know Mccain's Vice Presidential Choice Has Knocked Them Back On Their Heels.

...sean Penn Claimed To Be 'serv[ing] The Country' By Giving Aid And Comfort To An Enemy About To Be Attacked By The Us. He Said It Made Him Feel More Patriotic To Dissent From The War Aims Of His Nation. It Is At Least A Counterintuitive Position. Most People Would Not Instantly Grasp How It Is More Patriotic To Always Root Against America. White Supremacists Should Try Claiming That Burning Crosses Is More Supportive Of Civil Rights Than Not Burning Them.

The Thing I Like About Bush Is I Think He Hates Liberals.

I'm Thinking Of Writing A Book On National Health Care. It Will Be 2,000 Pages, And You'll Have Two Hours To Read It.

The Democrats Pretended To Care About Black People For About Five Minutes To Help Their Electoral Process, And Then Civil Rights Suddenly Became Abortion On Demand, Gay Marriage, Rights For The Homeless, Etc.

I Was Morose That The Era Of Barack Obama Has Returned Us To A Period Where Everything Is Racist, Everyone Is Walking On Eggshells, And You Get The Moral Preening From White Liberals Who Don't Actually Even Know Any Black People. But, Oh, Do They Love To Get On Their High Horses And Accuse Republicans Of Being Racist For Opposing Very Liberal Government Policies And A Very Liberal Democratic President. It's An Extension Of The Civil Rights Label Being Slapped On Gay Marriage And Abortion. Allow Me To Be Bi-partisan For A Moment, And Love This Moment Because It Won't Last Long.

Instead Of Seeking Wisdom, Liberals Desire To Be Seen As Clever By Being Counterintuitive, Crazy, And Outre.

I Cut Through The Nonsense With The Blinding Light Of Truth.

Six Imams Removed From A Us Airways Flight From Minneapolis To Phoenix Are Calling On Muslims To Boycott The Airline. If Only We Could Get Muslims To Boycott All Airlines, We Could Dispense With Airport Security Altogether.

All Of These Riots Around The Globe Are Endangering The World. And Mobs Are Always Dangerous, Destructive Things That End Society. Liberal Policies Promote Mobs Because Liberals Crawl On The Mobs, The Destruction Wrought By The Mobs To Attain Power. Tere's Only One Way To React To A Mob To Save Civilized Society, And That Is To Smash The Mob. It Is Not To Mollycoddle The Mob.

Liberals Compare Jerry Falwell To The Taliban, But Then Are Furious With George Bush For Not Being Jesus Christ. Evidently, What A President Is Supposed To Do When The Girls Are Scared Is Develop Complete Omniscience And Omnipotence. Thus, The Media Repeatedly Expound Upon The Proposition That What Bush Should Have Done In Response To The Anthrax Mailings Is: Instantly Produce The Culprits And Put An End To This Madness!

Liberals Claim To Love Gays When It Allows Them To Vent Their Spleen At Republicans. But Disagree With Liberals And Their First Response Is To Call You Gay. Liberals Are Gays' Biggest Champions On Issues Most Gays Couldn't Care Less About, Like Gay Marriage Or Taxpayer Funding Of Photos Of Men With Bullwhips Up Their Derrieres. But Who Has Done More To Out, Embarrass, And Destroy The Lives Of Gay Men Who Prefer To Keep Their Orientation Private Than Democrats? Who Is More Intolerant Of Gays In The Republican Party Than Gays In The Democratic Party?

We Need Somebody To Put Rat Poisoning In Justice Stevens' Creme Brulee. That's Just A Joke, For You In The Media.

To Be Sure, Conservative Radio Talk Show Hosts Have A Built-in Audience Unavailable To Liberals: People Driving Cars To Some Sort Of Job.

I Think Being Called A She-devil By A Trial Lawyer Is Meant As A Compliment.

The Most We Can Hope For Is Strong Marriages. Married Women Vote Republican; Single Women Vote Democratic.

Do You Know What Christianity Is? We Believe Your Religion [judaism], But You [jews] Have To Obey.

Liberals Say This Over And Over And Over Again To Hide The Actual History, Which Is Why I Go Through The Specifics On The Big Segregationists In The United States Senate, The Ones Who Signed The Southern Manifesto And The Ones Who Voted Against The 1964 Civil Rights Act. There's A Panoply Of Issues To Consider. The First Time They Objected To The Federal Government Doing Something Was When It Came To Civil Rights Legislation. This Is In Stark Contrast To The Very Few Republicans Who Voted Against The '64 Civil Rights Act.

Ironically, Since Obama Was Elected, For The First Time In My Life I'm Sometimes Not Proud Of My Country.

Liberals Are More Upset When A Tree Is Chopped Down Than When A Child Is Aborted. Even If One Rates An Unborn Child Less Than A Full-blown Person, Doesn't The Unborn Child Rate Slightly Higher Than Vegetation?

But Liberals Love To Drape Themselves In Decades-old Glories They Had Nothing To Do With.

Democrats Are Firm Believers In The Welfare State For Their Own Constituents, Whether That's A Crack Addict Mother Of Five Or A Wall Street Banker.

The Nonsense About President Obama Being A Muslim Has Got To Stop. I Rise To Defend Him From This Absurd Accusation By Pointing Out That He Is Obviously An Atheist.

If John Kerry Had A Dollar For Every Time He Bragged About Serving In Vietnam - Oh Wait, He Does.

Liberals Are More Upset When A Tree Is Chopped Down Than When A Child Is Aborted.

If You Attack Ann Coulter, You Don't End Up With Your Cat Killed Or Your Tires Slashed.

Words Mean Nothing To Liberals. They Say Whatever Will Help Advance Their Cause At The Moment, Switch Talking Points In A Heartbeat, And Then Act Indignant If Anyone Uses The Exact Same Argument They Were Using Five Minutes Ago.

The Democrats Are Giving Aid And Comfort To The Enemy For No Purpose Other Than Giving Aid And Comfort To The Enemy. There Is No Plausible Explanation For The Democrats' Behavior Other Than That They Long To See U.s. Troops Shot, Humiliated, And Driven From The Field Of Battle.

In The Druidical Religion Of Liberalism, Not Separating Your Recyclables Is A Sin, But Abortion Is Just A Medical Procedure.

My Track Record Is Pretty Good On Predictions.

When Every One Of Your Arguments Is Characterized An Attempt To Bring Back Slavery Or Resegregate Lunch Counters, It's A Little Hard To Have Any Sort Of Productive Debate.

I Am The Illegal Alien Of Commentary. I Will Do The Jokes That No One Else Will Do.

One More Item For The Delusional Miss Grundys Still Obtusely Citing Reagan As Their Model Of “niceness”: As Governor Of California, Reagan Gave Student Protesters At Berkeley The Finger. Remember That Next Time You Ask Yourself: “what Would Reagan Do?” People Who Are Afraid Of Ideas Whitewash Reagan Like They Whitewash Jesus. Sorry To Break It To You, But The Reagan Era Did Not Consist Of Eight Years Of Reagan Joking About His Naps.

This Is What Christians Consider Themselves: Perfected Jews.

As The Leader Of Twelve Apostles, Even Jesus Had More Executive Experience Than Obama.

In June 2002, Airport Security Searched Al Gore. There's A Lot Not To Like About Gore, But He's Not A Terrorist. Gore Said He Was Glad He Was Searched. Why? To Spare A Terrorist The Trouble? This Is A Serious National Issue; Why Must Liberals Lie? Searching Al Gore Is Purely A Religious Act. It Is The Purposeless Fetishistic Performance Of Ritual In Accordance With The Civic Religion Of Liberalism.

The Episcopalians Don't Demand Much In The Way Of Actual Religious Belief. They Have Girl Priests, Gay Priests, Gay Bishops, Gay Marriages? It's Much Like The New York Times Editorial Board. They Acknowledge The Ten Commandments? Or "moses' Talking Points"? But Hasten To Add That They're Not Exactly "carved In Stone."

Listening To Liberals Invoke The Sanctity Of "science" To Promote Their Crackpot Ideas Creates The Same Uneasy Feeling As Listening To Bill Clinton Cite Scripture.

Liberals Pretend To Believe That When Two Random Hoodlums Kill A Gay Man In Oklahoma, It's Evidence Of A National Trend, But When A Million People Buy A Book, It Proves Absolutely Nothing About The Book-buying Public.

Obviously, I'm A Fan Of Satire. I'd Debate Anyone, But It Would Have To Be The Actual Person. That Would Be My Only Hesitation About Debating Stephen Colbert. If He Were Playing A Character, It Wouldn't Really Work.

This Is No Time To Be Precious About Locating The Exact Individuals Directly Involved In This Particular Terrorist Attack.... We Know Who The Homicidal Maniacs Are. They Are The Ones Cheering And Dancing Right Now. We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

If Liberals Think Iraqis Are Genetically Incapable Of Pulling Off Even The Most Rudimentary Form Of Democracy, Why Do They Believe 50 Million Mexicans Will Magically Become Good Americans, Imbued In The Nation's History And Culture, Upon Crossing The Rio Grande? Maybe We Should Dunk Iraqis In The Rio And See What Happens.

That Is Obama's Signature Move: Invent People Who Are Saying Ridiculous Things And Then Encourage The Audience To Laugh At These Made-up Buffoons.

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