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All We Can Do Is Politely Ask Aliens From Suspect Nations To Leave ... While We Sort The Peace-loving Immigrants From The Murderous Fanatics.... Muslim Immigrants Who Agree To Spy On The Millions Of Muslim Citizens Unaffected By The Deportation Order Can Stay.

-Ann Coulter

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All We Can Do

Ann Coulter

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All We Can Do Is Politely Ask Aliens From Suspect Nations To Leave ... While We Sort The Peace-loving Immigrants From The Murderous Fanatics.... Muslim Immigrants Who Agree To Spy On The Millions Of Muslim Citizens Unaffected By The Deportation Order Can Stay.

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I Rely Heavily On Thomas Sowell's Magnificent Book, Black Rednecks, White Liberals. He Points Out That Blacks In The North Perform Better, Academically, Than Whites In The South Where They Did Not Have Much Of An Emphasis On Learning. But Please Note That I'm Not The One Making That Argument In That Section About Michael Moore. And By The Way, I'm Not A Man. White Men Have Done A Lot. It's Silly To Write A Book Titled, Stupid White Men.

If You Attack Ann Coulter, You Don't End Up With Your Cat Killed Or Your Tires Slashed.

Liberals Want The Family Destroyed, They Want Religion Destroned, Because Then You Have Loyalty Directly To The State.

Obamacare Would Never Have Passed Without Decades Of Massive Immigration From The Third World. Liberals Didn't Change Any Minds - They Changed The Voters.

Republicans Are Afraid To Act In Accordance With The Election Results. Republicans Seem To Be In Denial About Election Results. It's One Thing For Democrats To Be In Denial About The Republican Electoral Juggernaut, But It's Strange That Republicans Are In Denial About It Too.

Election Results

Clinton's Attempt To Socialize Healthcare Was The Second Most Disgusting Thing He Did In The Oval Office. I Can't Remember Was The First Thing Was.

The Infernal Flag-waving After 9/11 Nearly Drove Liberals Out Of Their Gourds. For The Left, 'flag-waving' Is An Epithet.

All Democrats For The Last 30 Years Have Tried To Stimulate The Economy By Giving 'tax Cuts' To People Who Don't Pay Taxes.

Vietnam Is The Liberals' Favorite Was Because America Lost

[senator]torricelli [d-nj] Will Leave Public Office With Just The Clothes On His Back, A Rolex Watch And Other Assorted Jewelry, A Tv Set, A Couple Of Racks Of Italian Suits, Some Jets Tickets, A Grandfather Clock And Three Paper Sacks Filled With Small, Unmarked Bills.

Democrats Haven't Been This Upset About An American Engaging In Free Speech Since Juanita Broaddrick Opened Her Yap.

Whenever A Liberal Begins A Statement With 'i Don't Know Which Is More Frightening,' You Know The Answer Is Going To Be Pretty Clear.

I'm Thinking Of Writing A Book On National Health Care. It Will Be 2,000 Pages, And You'll Have Two Hours To Read It.

Liberals Don't Care. Their Approach Is To Rip Out Society's Foundations Without Asking If They Serve Any Purpose. Why Do We Have Immigration Laws? What's With These Borders? Why Do We Have The Institution Of Marriage, Anyway? What Do We Need Standardized Tests For? Hey, I Like Keith Richards - Why Not Make Heroin Legal? Let's Take A Sledgehammer To All These Load-bearing Walls And Just See What Happens!

Before The New York Times Starts Running "portraits In Grief" Of Former Enron Employees, It's Worth Remembering That Even After The Collapse, Enron Stock Is Still Worth More Than The Entire Social Security "trust Fund."

For Years, Mount Holyoke Professor Joseph 'full Metal Jacket' Ellis Had Been Regaling Students, Interviewers And Friends With Gripping Stories Of His Service In Vietnam.

The Democrats Appear To Be The Only People Who Still Believe There Is Any Efficacy To The Un.

The Only Beef Enron Employees Have With Top Management Is That Management Did Not Inform Employees Of The Collapse In Time To Allow Them To Get In On The Swindle. If Enron Executives Had Shouted, "head For The Hills!" The Employees Might Have Had Time To Sucker Other Americans Into Buying Wildly Over-inflated Enron Stock. Just Because Your Boss Is A Criminal Doesn't Make You A Hero.

I Have To Say I'm All For Public Flogging. One Type Of Criminal That A Public Humiliation Might Work Particularly Well With Are The Juvenile Delinquents, A Lot Of Whom Consider It A Badge Of Honor To Be Sent To Juvenile Detention. And It Might Not Be Such A Cool Thing In The 'hood To Be Flogged Publicly.

These Days, Even A Moderate Democrat Is Someone Who Thinks You Shouldn't Be Taught Fisting Until You're At Least 12 Years Old.

As Bush Said, After Detailing Some Of Saddam Hussein's Charming Practices: “if This Is Not Evil, Then Evil Has No Meaning.” It's Not As If Anyone Is Worried That We're Making A Horrible Miscalculation And Could Be Removing The Iraqi Abraham Lincoln By Mistake.

If You Attack The Clintons Publicly, Make Sure All Your Friends Know That You Are Not Planning Suicide, That You're Not Careless When You Drive A Car.

Do Not Allow Democrats Anywhere Near Foreign Policy. Not Even To Keep Them Away From Domestic Policy. It's A Mistake To Ask Those Who Don't Even Like Democracy To Defend It.

So I Think All Gays Who Are Born Gay Are Overwhelming Conservative, Maybe Apolitical, And All Those Angry Gays, Causing Trouble For Everybody, I Don't Think They Were Born Gay. I Think They Are Just Angry At Their Fathers.

Cbs Is Planning A Tribute To Dan Rather... The Memo Went Out A Month Ago But Everyone Assumed It Was A Fake.

I'm Getting A Little Tired Of Politicians Trying To Prove How 'moderate' And 'centrist' They Are By Taking More Of My Money And Freedom. Where's This Center - Somewhere Between Lenin And Stalin?

It Confirms My Idea That You Also Need More Liberal Gun Laws. Guns Lead To A Polite Society, As We Like To Say In The United States. And I Think That All Of Western Canada Would Agree With Me.

Liberals Hate Religion Because Politics Is A Religion Substitute For Liberals And They Can't Stand The Competition.

Until You Can Intelligently Articulate The Other Side's Position, You Are Not An Adult. You Are A Liberal.

We Just Want Jews To Be Perfected, As They Say.

The Portrayal Of Senator Joe Mccarthy As A Wild-eyed Demagogue Destroying Innocent Lives Is Sheer Liberal Hobgoblinism. Liberals Weren't Cowering In Fear During The Mccarthy Era. They Were Systematically Undermining The Nation's Ability To Defend Itself While Waging A Bellicose Campaign Of Lies To Blacken Mccarthy's Name. Everything You Think You Know About Mccarthy Is A Hegemonic Lie. Liberals Denounced Mccarthy Because They Were Afraid Of Getting Caught, So They Fought Back Like Animals To Hide Their Own Collaboration With A Regime As Evil As The Nazis.

If Liberals Think Iraqis Are Genetically Incapable Of Pulling Off Even The Most Rudimentary Form Of Democracy, Why Do They Believe 50 Million Mexicans Will Magically Become Good Americans, Imbued In The Nation's History And Culture, Upon Crossing The Rio Grande? Maybe We Should Dunk Iraqis In The Rio And See What Happens.

When Contemplating A Shield That Would Protect America For Incoming Missiles, Democrats Suddenly Became Hardheaded Fiscal Conservatives. For The First Time In Recorded History, Liberals Were Concerned About The Cost And Usefulness Of A Government Program. These People Believe Federally Funded Art Therapy For The Homeless Will Pay For Itself. That You Can Take To The Bank. But A Shield To Repel Incoming Nuclear Missiles From American Soil They Said, Was Too Expensive And Wouldn't Work.

Britain Makes It Absolutely, Blindingly Clear That It Is Liberal Social Welfare Policies. And They Have Turned A Good Chunk Of Their Native Population Into Animals. They Are Absolute Animals. They Are Not Humans With Free Will. They Eat, They Screw, They Drink.

If I'm Going To Say Anything About John Edwards In The Future, I'll Just Wish He Had Been Killed In A Terrorist Assassination Plot.

Democrats Are Not Angry About 9/11. Sad, Maybe - Sad That It Didn't Happen On Clinton's Watch So His Legacy Would Be More Than A Semen Stain. But They're Not Angry.

Ted Kennedy Says That Our Policy In Iraq Is Adrift. Hmmm. Maybe Like A Car Adrift In The Water After Its Has Gone Over A Bridge?

Between 1995 And 2005, The Prison Population Grew By 30 Percent, Meaning An Additional Half Million Criminals Were Behind Bars, Rather Than Lurking In Dark Alleys With Switchblades. You Can Well Imagine Liberals' Surprise When The Crime Rate Went Down As More Criminals Were Put In Prison. The New York Times Was Reduced To Running Querulous Articles With Headlines Like Number In Prison Grows Despite Crime Reduction And As Crime Rate Drops, The Prison Rate Rises And The Debate Rages.

I Highly Approve Of Romney's Decision To Be Kind And Gentle To The Retard.

The Nonsense About President Obama Being A Muslim Has Got To Stop. I Rise To Defend Him From This Absurd Accusation By Pointing Out That He Is Obviously An Atheist.

We Have Way Too Many Lawyers, The Price For Them Has Plummeted And You Will Have A Miserable And Unsatisfying Life. Unless You Get Into Harvard Law. You Could Be In A Yurt On The Mongolian Plateau And They'll Say, "oh You Must Be Smart. You Went To Harvard Law."

That Is [liberalism's] Goal - To Destroy The Family... [liberals] Just Made Up This Gay Marriage Thing Gays Are Natural Conservatives.

Isn't Food Important? Why Not "universal Food Coverage"? If Politicians And Employers Had Guaranteed Us "free" Food 50 Years Ago, Today Democrats Would Be Wailing About The "food Crisis" In America, And You'd Be On The Phone With Your Food Care Provider Arguing About Whether Or Not A Reuben Sandwich With Fries Was Covered Under Your Plan.

We Were Terrified That Jones Would Settle. It Was Contrary To Our Purpose Of Bringing Down The President.

Lawyers Tend To Be Bright People. They Tend To Be-much More Than Many Journalists I've Encountered-sticklers For Detail And Accuracy, And They Have A Logical Way Of Arguing.

I'm Getting A Little Fed Up With Hearing About, Oh, Civilian Casualties. I Think We Ought To Nuke North Korea Right Now Just To Give The Rest Of The World A Warning.

There Is No Surer Proof Of Christ's Divinity Than That He Is Still So Hated Some Two Thousand Years After His Death.

I've Never Seen People Enjoying Their Husbands' Deaths So Much

The Only Sexism Involved In The Miers Nomination Is The Administration's Claim That Once They Decided They Wanted A Woman, Miers Was The Best They Could Do. Let Me Just Say, If The Top Male Lawyer In The Country Is John Roberts And The Top Female Lawyer Is Harriet Miers, We May As Well Stop Allowing Girls To Go To Law School.

In The Very Next Election, The American People Elected 63 New Republicans To The House Of Representatives - The Largest Sweep Of Congress For Any Party Since 1948. Even Liberal Massachusetts Elected A Republican Senator Solely Because Of His Vow To Vote Against Obamacare.

I Cut Through The Nonsense With The Blinding Light Of Truth.

Why Couldn't Obama Have Picked Somebody Respectable As His Running Mate, You Know, Like John Kerry Did?

The Only Place Al Gore Conserves Energy These Days Is On The Treadmill. I Don't Want To Suggest That Al's Getting Big, But The Last Time I Saw Him On Tv I Thought, "that Reminds Me - We Have To Do Something About Saving The Polar Bears." Never Mind His Carbon Footprint - Have You Seen The Size Of Al Gore's Regular Footprint Lately? It's Almost As Deep As Janet Reno's.

Carbon Footprint

When Liberals Start Acting Like They're Opposed To Pre-marital Sex And Mothers Having Careers, You Know Mccain's Vice Presidential Choice Has Knocked Them Back On Their Heels.

Liberals Could Live Their Whole Lives Never Having To Hear An Actual Conservative Opinion Other Than The Idiotic Arguments Written For Conservative Characters On Aaron Sorkin's Little Teleplays.

I Think There Are More Transgendered In America Than There Are People Who Worry About The Comfort And Security Who Broke In Our Country Illegally, Who Are Living Here Illegally, Are Taking Jobs Illegally, How Quickly It Moves Doesn't Really Matter.

Liberal Moms Like Soccer Because It's A Sport In Which Athletic Talent Finds So Little Expression That Girls Can Play With Boys. No Serious Sport Is Co-ed, Even At The Kindergarten Level.

Most People In The Tea Party Are Nice, But That Hasn't Stopped Liberals From Hating Them.

Words Mean Nothing To Liberals. They Say Whatever Will Help Advance Their Cause At The Moment, Switch Talking Points In A Heartbeat, And Then Act Indignant If Anyone Uses The Exact Same Argument They Were Using Five Minutes Ago.

Canada Used To Be...one Of Our Most...most Loyal Friends, And Vice Versa. I Mean, Canada Sent Troops To Vietnam. Was Vietnam Less Containable And More Of A Threat Than Saddam Hussein?

It's Really Hard To Be A Black Republican. I See What They Go Through. It's A Good Little Trick The Entire Mainstream Media Has Pulled By Describing Republicans As "racist! Racist! Racist!" And Then Turning Around And Laughing At Us For Not Having More Blacks In Our Party.

The Presumption Of Innocence Only Means You Don't Go Right To Jail.

Presumption Of Innocence

I'm A Christian First, And A Mean-spirited, Bigoted Conservative Second, And Don't You Ever Forget It.

Ed "the Truth Is Illegal" Markey Responded To Teamster Support For Anwr By Dismissively Sniffing, It Was Only "one Issue." Luckily, The Democrats Have All Those Other Issues Dear To The Heart Of The Average Blue-collar Worker: Abortion On Demand, Gay Marriage And Taxpayer-funded Crucifixes Submerged In Urine.

The Reason Any Conservative's Failing Is Always Major News Is That It Allows Liberals To Engage In Their Very Favorite Taunt: Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy Is The Only Sin That Really Inflames Them. Inasmuch As Liberals Have No Morals, They Can Sit Back And Criticize Other People For Failing To Meet The Standards That Liberals Simply Renounce. It's An Intriguing Strategy. By Openly Admitting To Being Philanderers, Draft Dodgers, Liars, Weasels And Cowards, Liberals Avoid Ever Being Hypocrites.

If You Can Somehow Force A Liberal Into A Point-counterpoint Argument, His Retorts Will Bear No Relation To What You’ve Said - Unless You Were In Fact Talking About Your Looks, Your Age, Your Weight, Your Personal Obsessions, Or Whether You Are A Fascist. In The Famous Liberal Two-step, They Leap From One Idiotic Point To The Next, So You Can Never Nail Them. It’s Like Arguing With Someone With Attention Deficit Disorder.

To Expiate The Pain Of Losing Her Firstborn Son In The Iraq War, Cindy Sheehan Decided To Cheer Herself Up By Engaging In Stalinist Agitprop Outside President Bush's Crawford Ranch, ... It's The Strangest Method Of Grieving I've Seen Since Paul Wellstone's Funeral. Someone Needs To Teach These Liberals How To Mourn.

Guns Are Our Friends Because In A Country Without Guns, I'm What's Known As "prey." All Females Are.

I Think Being Called A She-devil By A Trial Lawyer Is Meant As A Compliment.

I Am Emboldened By My Looks To Say Things Republican Men Wouldn't.

When Contemplating College Liberals, You Really Regret Once Again That John Walker Is Not Getting The Death Penalty.we Need To Execute People Like John Walker In Order To Physically Intimidate Liberals, By Making Them Realize That They Can Be Killed Too. Otherwise They Will Turn Out To Be Outright Traitors.

Just As We're Always Told That Schoolyard Bullies Are Actually Deeply Insecure, Liberals Rationalize Their Own Ferocious Behavior By Claiming To Have Been Wounded Somehow. What About The Little Guy Our Poor, Insecure Bully Is Beating The Living Daylights Out Of? How's His Self-esteem Coming Along? That Is The Essence Of Liberals: They Viciously Attack Everyone Else, While Wailing That They Are The Victims.

There Are A Lot Of Bad Republicans; There Are No Good Democrats.

In June 2002, Airport Security Searched Al Gore. There's A Lot Not To Like About Gore, But He's Not A Terrorist. Gore Said He Was Glad He Was Searched. Why? To Spare A Terrorist The Trouble? This Is A Serious National Issue; Why Must Liberals Lie? Searching Al Gore Is Purely A Religious Act. It Is The Purposeless Fetishistic Performance Of Ritual In Accordance With The Civic Religion Of Liberalism.

We Need To Execute People Like (john Walker Lindh) In Order To Physically Intimidate Liberals.

In A Comprehensive Study Of All Public Multiple Shooting Incidents In America Between 1977 And 1999, Economists John Lott And Bill Landes Found That The Only Public Policy That Reduced Both The Incidence And Casualties Of Such Shootings Were Concealed-carry Laws. Not Only Are There 60 Percent Fewer Gun Massacres After States Adopt Concealed-carry Laws, But The Death And Injury Rate Of Such Rampages Are Reduced By 80 Percent.

Moore's Only Concession To The Democrats' Role-playing Is To Deny That He Is A Democrat, Hoping Enough Americans Were Taught By Public School Teachers That No One Will Know How To Look Up Moore's Voter Registration Card. Democrat.

If It Were True That Conservatives Were Racist, Sexist, Homophobic, Fascist, Stupid, Inflexible, Angry, And Self-righteous, Shouldn't Their Arguments Be Easy To Deconstruct? Someone Who Is Making A Point Out Of Anger, Ideology, Inflexibility, Or Resentment Would Presumably Construct A Flimsy Argument. So Why Can't The Argument Itself Be Dismembered Rather Than The Speaker's Personal Style Or Hidden Motives? Why The Evasions?

I'm A Problem-solver, And You're Welcome.

Problem Solvers

No Torture Has Yet Been Devised That Could Get A Liberal To Mention The Poor, Beleaguered Kurds Dancing In The Streets Because Saddam Is Gone.

What I And Other Commentators Do Is Attempt To Move The Public Opinion. We Try To Change Minds.

Almost Everything Wrong With Our Health Care System Comes From Government Interference With The Free Market. If The Health Care System Is Broken, Then Fix It. Don't Try To Invent A New One Premised On All The Bad Ideas That Are Causing Problems In The First Place.

Teddy Kennedy's Big New Idea Is To Wheel Out His 18th Proposal To Raise The Minimum Wage. He's Been Doing This Since Wages Were Paid In Spanish Doubloons (which Coincidentally Are Now Mostly Found Underwater). Kennedy Refuses To Countenance Any Risky Schemes Like Trying To Grow The Economy So People Making Minimum Wage Get Raises Because They've Been Promoted. Kennedy's Going Down And He's Taking The Party With Him! (recognize The Pattern?)

I Never Sought To Be A Pundit, Or On Tv, Or A Writer-it Just Kind Of Came To Me. If You Just Keep Doing What You Want To Do, You Wind Up Doing Precisely What You Want To Be Doing. Don't Resist How Life Bats You Around.

Doing What You Want

Government Workers Think The Job Of Everyone Else In The Economy Is To Protect Their High Salaries, Crazy Work Rules And Obscene Pensions. They Self-righteously Lecture Us About Public Service, The Children, A 'living Wage' All In The Service Of Squeezing More Money From The Taxpayer To Fund Their Breathtakingly Selfish Job Arrangements.

Secretary Of Defense Donald Rumsfeld Said Any Assumption That The Us Would Not Use Force Against North Korea Would Be A Mistake. Such Bellicosity Frightens Liberals. The Left's Reaction To Nutty Despots Is: He Might Hit Me, So I'll Be Nice. Rumsfeld's Idea Is: He'll Hit Me? Maybe I'll Hit Him. The Beauty Of That Approach Cannot Be Denied.

In California, The Fabulously Rich Support The Poor With Government Jobs, Paid For By The Middle Class Which Is Now Living In Arizona.

Not All Muslims May Be Terrorists, But All Terrorists Are Muslims.

The New York Times And The Rest Of The Mainstream Media Will Only Refer To Partial Birth Abortion As 'what Its Opponents Refer To As Partial Birth Abortions.' What Do Its Supporters Call It? Casual Fridays? Bean-with-bacon Potato Chip Dip? Uh . . . Steve?

If Only Al Sharpton Were Around, Lincoln Would Have Known He Was A Victim Of Racism.

Why Not Go To War Just For Oil? We Need Oil. What Do Hollywood Celebrities Imagine Fuels Their Private Jets? How Do They Think Their Cocaine Is Delivered To Them?

Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Play A Supreme Court Justice On The West Wing , Let Alone To Be A Real One.

I Don't Think I Have An Unkind Word For Any.except Muslims. I've Been Cross With Them Since 9/11 2001. I Can't Remember Why But It Was Something Bad.

Like So Many Liberal Icons, Marx Seldom Bathed And Left His Wife And Children In Poverty. As Schlafly Says, No Wonder Liberal Women Think Men Are Pigs: Their Men Are Pigs.

The Counties With The Highest Per Capita Income Aren't Near New York City Or Los Angeles - They're In The Washington, D.c. Area - A One-company Town Where The Company Is The Government. The Three Counties With The Highest Incomes In The Entire Country Are All Suburbs Of Washington. Eleven Of The 25 Counties With The Highest Incomes Are Near Washington.

Weirdly Enough, The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Black People In The Last Twenty Or Thirty Years Was The O.j. Simpson Verdict Because It Shut Down The White Guilt Bank. And White Guilt Has Never Led To Anything Good. It's Brought Us Spiraling Crime Rates, Mostly With Black Victims, And A Permanent Underclass Living In Public Housing Projects. For Years, Liberals Cried That "law And Order" And "welfare Reform" Were Racist Code Words.

This Is What Christianity Is. We Believe The Old Testament, But Ours Is More Like Federal Express. You Have To Obey Laws.

Democrats Should Run Mahmoud Ahmadinejad For President. He's More Coherent Than Dennis Kucinich, He Dresses Like Their Base, He's More Macho Than John Edwards, And He's Willing To Show Up At A Forum Where He Might Get One Hostile Question - Unlike The Current Democratic Candidates For President Who Won't Debate On Fox News Channel. He's Not Married To An Impeached President, And The Name Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is Surely No More Frightening Than B. Hussein Obama.

If Liberals Think They Are Losing Elections Because Of The Conservative Bias In The Media, They May As Well Give Up Right Now.

The Only Question I'd Be Interested In Is What Books Other Celebrities Have Read Recently, Which Is Part Of My Campaign To Promote Reading.

The Thing I Like About Bush Is I Think He Hates Liberals.

If We Had Complete Knowledge, You Wouldn't Need Any Intelligence Gathering Whatsoever. The President Isn't God. We Do Have Intelligence Gathering.

Intelligence Gathering

Clinton Masturbates In The Sinks.

Well, Before The New Deal...[the Emancipation Proclamation] Would Be A Good Start.

Emancipation Proclamation

Hillary Has Already Gotten A Record $8 Million Advance From Simon & Schuster For The Book -- Reportedly The Most Anyone Has Ever Received For Rewriting History.

Taxes Are Like Abortion, And Not Just Because Both Are Grotesque Procedures Supported By Democrats. You're For Them Or Against Them. Taxes Go Up Or Down; Government Raises Taxes Or Lowers Them. But Democrats Will Not Let The Words "abortion" Or "tax Hikes" Pass Their Lips.

Why Is It That The Same People Who Have The Least Confidence In The Police And The Military Are The Most Willing To Allow Only The Police And The Military To Have Guns?

What I'm Critical Of Is - The White House Attacking Conservatives, For Saying We're Elitist For Pointing Out That Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Sit On The Supreme Court. I'm Starting To Feel Sort Of Bad About - About Saying That. And I'm Annoyed With George Bush [jr.] For Putting Us In The Position Of Having To Say That.

Enjoy Most: The Prospect Of Having An Impact On The Public Debate. Irritating Liberals Is A Close Second.

But Liberals Love To Drape Themselves In Decades-old Glories They Had Nothing To Do With.

...sean Penn Claimed To Be 'serv[ing] The Country' By Giving Aid And Comfort To An Enemy About To Be Attacked By The Us. He Said It Made Him Feel More Patriotic To Dissent From The War Aims Of His Nation. It Is At Least A Counterintuitive Position. Most People Would Not Instantly Grasp How It Is More Patriotic To Always Root Against America. White Supremacists Should Try Claiming That Burning Crosses Is More Supportive Of Civil Rights Than Not Burning Them.

Whenever You Come Across A Screw-up This Big, You Know The Government Is Behind It.

Long Before There Was Discrimination Against Blacks, There Was Discrimination Against White Southerners. When Large Numbers Of These Country People Moved North During World War Ii, They Were Aggressively Excluded From Neighborhoods, Jobs, And Homes - Not Because Of Their Skin Color, But Their Accents.

In The Spirit Of Reaching Across The Aisle, We Owe It To The Democrats To Show Their President The Exact Same Kind Of Respect And Loyalty That They Have Shown Our Recent Republican President.

What's Curious About The Left's Current Obsession With Timothy Mcveigh Is That It Proves That - Despite A Frantic Search For 15 Years - Liberals Have Come Across No Better Evidence Of Burgeoning "right-wing Extremist" Violence Than A Drug-taking, Self-described "agnostic" Who Was Thrown Out Of The Michigan Militia And Who Proclaimed, "science Is My Religion." That Sounds More Like Bill Maher Than Rush Limbaugh.

When Conservative Judges Strike Down Laws, It's Because Of What's In The Constitution. When Liberal Judges Strike Down Laws (or Impose New Laws), It's Because Of What's In The New York Times

Republicans Have Reached Out So Much To Black Republicans Because It's Part Of Our Tradition. Blacks Have Been In This Nation Longer Than Most Other Americans With The Possible Exception Of White Anglo-saxon Protestant. The First Blacks In Congress And The First Black Governor Were All Republicans. It Was Republicans Who Fought The Civil War Over Slavery And Who Introduced The Civil Rights Legislation Over The Next Hundred Years.

But Ultimately, The Purpose Of Marriage Is To Transmit Civilization To The Next Generation. There Has Never Been An Institution That Does It As Well As Marriage, And That Is Marriage Between A Man And A Woman.

Do You Know What Christianity Is? We Believe Your Religion [judaism], But You [jews] Have To Obey.

Obviously, I'm A Fan Of Satire. I'd Debate Anyone, But It Would Have To Be The Actual Person. That Would Be My Only Hesitation About Debating Stephen Colbert. If He Were Playing A Character, It Wouldn't Really Work.

That Is Obama's Signature Move: Invent People Who Are Saying Ridiculous Things And Then Encourage The Audience To Laugh At These Made-up Buffoons.

At Every Other Workplace In The Nation - Even Mal-mart! - Workers Are Being Laid Off. But No One At Any Of The Bloated Government Bureaucracies Ever Need Fear Receiving A Pink Slip. All 64,750 Employees At The Department Of Health And Human Services Are Apparently Absolutely Crucial To The Smooth Functioning Of The Department.

Press Passes Can't Be That Hard To Come By If The White House Allows That Old Arab Helen Thomas To Sit Within Yards Of The President.

Liberals Are Stalwart Defenders Of Civil Liberties - Provided We're Only Talking About Criminals.

Gay Marriage Is A Tricky Issue For The Democrats Due To The Fact That - Like Taxes, Defense And Education - They Are Forced To Lie About Their Position When Running For Office. In Other Words, Democrats Are Gay Marriage Supporters Trapped In The Bodies Of Candidates Who Oppose Gay Marriage. And No Issue-reassignment Surgery Can Help Them.

Even If Evolution Were True, It Wouldn't Disprove God. God Has Performed More Spectacular Feats Than Evolution. It's Not Even A Daunting Challenge To A Belief In God. If You Want Something That Complicates A Belief In God, Try Coming To Terms With Michael Moore Being One Of God's Special Creatures.

...the Definition Of Swiftboating Is: Producing Irrefutable Evidence That A Democrat Is Lying.

[m]ore Americans Work For Federal, State Or Local Government Than Work In Any Form Of Manufacturing. We Crossed That Rubicon About 10 Years Ago.

My Favorite Founding Fathers, Christians Like John Adams, Were Absolutely Appalled By Slavery, And Did Not Own Slaves. I Think We're Going To Have To Call On God's Grace Not Only For Slavery, But For What We're Doing Now With Abortions.

This Is What Christians Consider Themselves: Perfected Jews.

I Think Obama Has Redefined The Democratic Party. It Used To Be The Party Of Acid, Amnesty, And Abortion, And Now It's Surrender, Socialism, And Subprime Mortgages.

I've Decided To Cut Out The Part Of The Speech Where I Say Anything Nice About Democrats.

Public School Teachers Are The New Priesthood While Traditional Religion Is Ridiculed And Maligned.

It May Be Annoying, But The Rash Of Hijackings By Connecticut Wasp Girls Surely Explains The Time-consuming - But Still Somehow Completely Useless - Examination Of My Personal Effects. We All Have To Make Sacrifices For Airline Safety.

Instead Of 'counterrevolutionaries,' Liberals' Opponents Are Called 'haters,' 'those Who Seek To Divide Us,' 'tea Baggers,' And 'right-wing Hate Groups.' Meanwhile, Conservatives Call Liberals 'liberals'-and That Makes Them Testy.

Gore Said Foreigners Are Not Worried About 'what The Terrorist Networks Are Going To Do, But About What We're Going To Do.' Good. They Should Be Worried. They Hate Us? We Hate Them. Americans Don't Want To Make Islamic Fanatics Love Us. We Want To Make Them Die. There's Nothing Like Horrendous Physical Pain To Quell Anger. Japanese Kamikazes Pilots Hated Us Once, Too. A Couple Of Well-aimed Nuclear Weapons Got Their Attention. Now They Are Gentle Little Lambs.

Contempt Is The Emotion We Feel For An Opponent Whose Arguments Are Too Formidable To Refute.

Unfortunately, Proof Of A Jefferson-hemings Liaison Was As Fanciful As Professor Ellis' War Service.

It Is An Article Of Faith With The Democrats That They Must Fool Americans By Simulating Agreement With Normal People. The Winner Of The Democratic Primary Is Always The Candidate Who Does The Best Impersonation Of An American.

Anyplace Market Forces Have Been Artificially Removed By The Government There Is A Total Absence Of Incentives, Competition, Effective Oversight, Cost Controls And So On.

'moderate Republican' Is Simply How The Blabocracy Flatters Republicans Who Vote With The Democrats. If It Weren't So Conspicuous, The 'new York Times' Would Start Referring To 'nice Republicans' And 'mean Republicans'

The Only Important Lesson From The Vietnam War Is This: Democrats Lose Wars.

And Why Is It "homophobic" For Senate Republicans To Look Askance At Sex In Public Bathrooms? Is The Times Claiming That Sodomy In Public Bathrooms Is The Essence Of Being Gay? I Thought Gays Just Wanted To Get Married To One Another And Settle Down In The Suburbs So They Could Visit Each Other In The Hospital.

This Is No Time To Be Precious About Locating The Exact Individuals Directly Involved In This Particular Terrorist Attack.... We Know Who The Homicidal Maniacs Are. They Are The Ones Cheering And Dancing Right Now. We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

I'm A Christian First, And A Mean-spirited, Bigoted Conservative Second, And Don't You Ever Forget It. You Know Who Else Was Kind Of "divisive" In Terms Of Challenging The Status Quo And The Powers-that-be Of His Day? Jesus Christ.

Marriage Is Under Attack From So Many Different Areas. There Should Be Benefits Associated With Married People. Life Is Unfair. Maybe You Won't Find The Right Person And You Won't End Up Getting Married. Oh, Well, Life Is Unfair. But Married People, Because Of Their Capacity To Have Children, Even If They're Not Going To End Up Having Children, Even If They're Unable To Bear Children, Marriage Is An Institution That Is Absolutely Central To Civilization.

This Is The Difference Between Conservatives And Liberals. Liberals Want Justices To Vote A Certain Way. We, Conservatives, Want A Particular Legal Philosophy, A Philosophy For How To Interpret The Constitution.

Everyone Is Skeptical. Only The Media Are Not Skeptical, But, Then, They Were Also Not Skeptical When The Administration Put Out The Line That Coordinated Embassy Attacks Around The Globe On The Anniversary Of 9/11 Were Just Rowdy Movie Reviews. Numbers On A Tv Screen Won't Prevent Millions Of Americans From Noticing That They're Unemployed.

My Libertarian Friends Are Probably Getting A Little Upset Now But I Think That's Because They Never Appreciate The Benefits Of Local Fascism.

In The Druidical Religion Of Liberalism, Not Separating Your Recyclables Is A Sin, But Abortion Is Just A Medical Procedure.

I Never Wanted To Be Famous And The Only Part I Like Is That It Means People Are Reading My Books And Listening To Me On Tv And Radio.

Yet, When Republicans Were Finally Able To Push Through Tough Policies On Crime And Welfare Which They'd Supported For Decades, They Were Magnificent Successes For The Entire Country, But Especially For Black People. Release Us, And Great Things Will Happen!

For Decades Now, The Democrats Have Had A Good Gig Buying The Votes Of Government Workers With Outrageous Salaries, Benefits And Work Rules - And Then Sticking Productive Earners With The Bill. But, Now, We're Out Of Money.

When Every One Of Your Arguments Is Characterized An Attempt To Bring Back Slavery Or Resegregate Lunch Counters, It's A Little Hard To Have Any Sort Of Productive Debate.

Science Is Something That You Have Facts. They Can Be Tested. They Can Be Checked. Heterosexual Aids, Another One.

The Most Dangerous Action A Woman Can Take When Faced With A Criminal Is To Resist With Her Fists: That Tends To Annoy Violent Criminals, And The Woman Will Very Likely Be Seriously Injured. But A Woman Who Takes The Advice Of Handgun Control Inc. And Passively Submits Is 2.5 Times More Likely To Be Injured Than A Woman Who Resists With A Gun. So If You Don't Want To Lie Back And Enjoy It, Get A Gun. Otherwise You May Never Become A Mom.

A 1990 Study By The (liberal) Progressive Policy Institute Showed That, After Controlling For Single Motherhood, The Difference In Black And White Crime Rates Disappeared.

Black And White

I'm Sure There Are People Who Consider Themselves Democrats, Maybe Even Liberals, Who Are Good Christians, But If So I Do Not Think They Understand The Tenants Of Those Two Organizations.

The Episcopalians Don't Demand Much In The Way Of Actual Religious Belief. They Have Girl Priests, Gay Priests, Gay Bishops, Gay Marriages? It's Much Like The New York Times Editorial Board. They Acknowledge The Ten Commandments? Or "moses' Talking Points"? But Hasten To Add That They're Not Exactly "carved In Stone."

Whenever A Liberal Begins A Peevish Complaint With A Throat-clearing Equivocation Like, "of Course, We All Agree," Your Antennae Should Go Up. This Is How Liberals Couch Statements They Assume All Americans Would Demand They Make, But Which They Secretly Chafe At.

The Left’s Idea Of “science” Is That We Should All Be Riding Bicycles And Using The Clivus Multrum Composting Latrines Instead Of Flush Toilets. Anyone Who Dissents, They Say — While Adjusting Their Healing Crystals For Emphasis — Is “afraid Of Science.”

[liberals] Think They Can Pass A Law Eliminating Guns And Nuclear Weapons, But Teenagers Having Sex Is Completely Beyond Our Control.

I Support Guns And I Support The Death Penalty. Half Of My Interviews Are Convincing Liberals They're Not Liberal.

Judging By Their Positions At The Time, Rather Than Their Post Hoc Allegations, Democrats Adored The Soviet Union. Congressional Democrats Repeatedly Opposed Funding Anti-communist Rebels, They Opposed Reagan's Military Build-up, They Opposed Building A Shield To Protect America From Incoming Missiles, They Opposed Putting Missiles In Europe. As A Rule, Democrats Opposed Anything Opposed By Their Cherished Soviet Union.

We Need Somebody To Put Rat Poisoning In Justice Stevens' Creme Brulee. That's Just A Joke, For You In The Media.

Our Blacks Are Better Than Their's

A Word To Those Of You Out There Who Have Yet To Be Offended By Something I Have Said: Please Be Patient. I Am Working As Fast As I Can.

I Think [women] Should Be Armed But Should Not Vote ... Women Have No Capacity To Understand How Money Is Earned. They Have A Lot Of Ideas On How To Spend It ... It's Always More Money On Education, More Money On Child Care, More Money On Day Care.

It Is A Law Of Nature That Everything Run By The Government Will Get More Expensive And Worse Over Time. Everything Run By The Private Sector Will Get Better And Cheaper Over Time. The Fact That [obamacare] Starts This Badly Does Not Bode Well....we Want Healthcare Run On The Same System That Gave Us Cell Phones, Flat Screens, Jerry Garcia Chia Pets. Everything You Submit To The Free Market...keeps Getting Better And Better.

As The Titanic Losses Were Racking Up, Fannie Mae's Operators, Franklin Raines And Jamie Gorelick, Disguised The Catastrophe By Orchestrating A $5 Billion Accounting Fraud - All The While Continuing To Pressure Banks To Make Absurd, Politically Correct Loans And Denouncing Republicans As Enemies Of The Poor.

Liberals Can't Just Come Out And Say, They Want To Take More Of Our Money, Kill Babies, And Discriminate On The Basis Of Race.

I Think [whitewater]'s Going To Prevent The First Lady From Running For Senate.

When Your Party Is Controlled By A Billionaire Rootless International Financier Who Expresses 'no Sense Of Guilt' For Collaborating With The Nazis, You Might Want To Ease Up On Lecturing The Rest Of Us About The Evil Rich.

The Truth Cannot Be Delivered With Novocaine.

The Idea That Making An Activity Legal Would Reduce Its Incidence Is Preposterous. This Is Exactly Like The Clintonian Statement About Wanting To Make Abortion 'safe, Legal And Rare.' The Most Effective Way To Make Something 'rare' Is To Make It Illegal.

I Sort Of Feel Sorry For Gays Being The Last Ones At The Sexual Revolution Window. We've Had Liberalizing Rules On Divorce. We've Had The Sexual Revolution. We've Had, You Know, The Pill, And Burning Bras And Rampant Premarital Sex And Polymorphous Perversity.

Hollywood Liberals Could Not Be Reached For Comment On The Cost Of The Inauguration Because They Were Being Fitted For Gowns And Jewelry Worth Millions Of Dollars In Anticipation Of Oscar Night.

[liberals] Are Always Accusing Us Of Repressing Their Speech. I Say Let's Do It. Let's Repress Them. ... Frankly, I'm Not A Big Fan Of The First Amendment.

What Actually Happened During The Clinton Presidency? No One Can Remember Anything About It Except The Bimbos, The Lies, And The Felonies

So For Those Of You Who Haven't Read Any Of My Five Best-selling Books: Liberals Are Driven By Satan And Lie Constantly.

I Promise You: No American Whose Great-grandfather Was Born Here Is Watching Soccer. One Can Only Hope That, In Addition To Learning English, These New Americans Will Drop Their Soccer Fetish With Time.

Not Exactly Smashing Stereotypes Of Liberals As Mincing Pantywaists, The Left's Entire Contribution To The War Effort Thus Far Has Been To Whine.

The Really Amazing Part, To Me, Was When Florida Made It Into The Final Four, The Democrats Didn't Demand A Recount.

...liberals Said The War Was A Failure Because We Hadn't Captured Abu Musab Al-zarqawi. Then We Killed Al-zarqawi And A Half-dozen Of His Aides In An Air Raid. Then They Said The War Was A Failure Because ... You Get The Picture.

Liberals Love To Strike Generous, Humanitarian Poses With Other People's Lives.

The Tolerant Liberal Suddenly Becomes Very Intolerant When Their Official Religion Is Challenged.

I Think The Government Should Be Spying On All Arabs, Engaging In Torture As A Televised Spectator Sport, Dropping Daisy Cutters Wantonly Throughout The Middle East And Sending Liberals To Guantanamo.

We Didn't Raise This Issue, The Courts Raised It. The Courts Jammed It Down Our Throats, At The Risk Of Insulting Any Of My Gay Male Fans.

I Note That [benazir] Bhutto Demonstrates Her Own Deep Commitment To Democracy By Giving Herself The Title Chairperson For Life Of The Pakistan Peoples Party.

If Mexican Farm Labor Is So Much Cheaper, Maybe We Should Be Growing Our Fruits And Vegetables In Mexico. There's Absolutely No Reason To Import Mexicans To Do Something They Could Do At Home And Then Sell To Us. I Believe This Is What Economists Call "competitive Advantage".

I Wouldn't Know All That I Do About History, If I Spent My Time Watching Cartoons And Other Tv Shows.

I Would Like Evolution To Join The Roster Of Other Discredited Religions...

Anorexics Never Have Boyfriends. ... That's One Way To Know You Don't Have Anorexia, If You Have A Boyfriend.

Canada Has Become Trouble Recently ... It's Always The Worst Americans Who Go There ... We Could Have Taken Them Over So Easy. But I Only Want The Western Part, With The Ski Areas, The Cowboys, And The Right Wingers. They're The Only Good Parts Of Canada.

We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity. We Weren't Punctilious About Locating And Punishing Only Hitler And His Top Officers. We Carpet-bombed German Cities; We Killed Civilians. That's War. And This Is War.

Liberals Claim To Love Gays When It Allows Them To Vent Their Spleen At Republicans. But Disagree With Liberals And Their First Response Is To Call You Gay. Liberals Are Gays' Biggest Champions On Issues Most Gays Couldn't Care Less About, Like Gay Marriage Or Taxpayer Funding Of Photos Of Men With Bullwhips Up Their Derrieres. But Who Has Done More To Out, Embarrass, And Destroy The Lives Of Gay Men Who Prefer To Keep Their Orientation Private Than Democrats? Who Is More Intolerant Of Gays In The Republican Party Than Gays In The Democratic Party?

No Matter What Argument You Make Against Evolution, The Response Is Well, You Know, It's Possible To Believe In Evolution And Believe In God. Yes, And It's Possible To Believe In Spiderman And Believe In God, But That Doesn't Prove Spiderman Is True.

With Albright At The Helm Of The State Department, Osama Bin Laden Ran Wild Throughout The Middle East, The North Koreans Began Feverishly Building Nukes Under Her Nose, And We Staged A Pre-emptive Attack Solely For Purposes Of Regime Change Based On False Information Presented To The American People By Albright About A World Leader Who Was Not An Imminent Threat To The United States. Slobodan Milosevic Wasn't Even A Latent, Long-term, Hypothetical Threat.

Would That It Were So! ... That The American Military Were Targeting Journalists.

American Military

Liberals Tell Amazing Lies About Guns And Everything Else.

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