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Looking At The Line-up Of Speakers At The (democratic National) Convention, I Have Developed The 7-11 Challenge: I Will Quit Making Fun Of, For Example, Dennis Kucinich, If He Can Prove He Can Run A 7-11 Properly For 8 Hours. We'll Even Let Him Have An Hour Or So Of Preparation Before We Open Up. Within 8 Hours, The Money Will Be Gone, The Store Will Be Empty, And He'll Be Explaining How Three 11-year Olds Came In And Asked For The Money And He Gave It To Them.

-Ann Coulter

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Looking At The Line-up

Ann Coulter

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Looking At The Line-up Of Speakers At The (democratic National) Convention, I Have Developed The 7-11 Challenge: I Will Quit Making Fun Of, For Example, Dennis Kucinich, If He Can Prove He Can Run A 7-11 Properly For 8 Hours. We'll Even Let Him Have An Hour Or So Of Preparation Before We Open Up. Within 8 Hours, The Money Will Be Gone, The Store Will Be Empty, And He'll Be Explaining How Three 11-year Olds Came In And Asked For The Money And He Gave It To Them.

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The Not-visibly-insane Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume. In Case You Missed This Profile In Democrat Machismo, The Democratic Presidential Candidates Are Refusing To Participate In A Debate Hosted By Fox News Channel Because The Hosts Are "biased." But They'll Face Down Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! At This, Even Hillary Clinton Was Thinking, "come On, Guys - Let's Grow A Pair."

Historically, The Best Way To Convert Liberals Is To Have Them Move Out Of Their Parents' Home, Get A Job, And Start Paying Taxes.

Liberalism Is Part Of A Religious Disorder That Demands A Belief That Life Is Controllable.

The Democrats Are Giving Aid And Comfort To The Enemy For No Purpose Other Than Giving Aid And Comfort To The Enemy. There Is No Plausible Explanation For The Democrats' Behavior Other Than That They Long To See U.s. Troops Shot, Humiliated, And Driven From The Field Of Battle.

Yes, Of Course, Black Americans Are A Special Group, And I'm Disappointed That They're Not Republicans, Given Our Traditions. We're Not Getting Much Love In Return, Despite Our Efforts.

I Think Being Called A She-devil By A Trial Lawyer Is Meant As A Compliment.

Whenever A Liberal Begins A Peevish Complaint With A Throat-clearing Equivocation Like, "of Course, We All Agree," Your Antennae Should Go Up. This Is How Liberals Couch Statements They Assume All Americans Would Demand They Make, But Which They Secretly Chafe At.

To Be Sure, Conservative Radio Talk Show Hosts Have A Built-in Audience Unavailable To Liberals: People Driving Cars To Some Sort Of Job.

They Spent The Night In Jail, Where Their Progressive Views On Gay Marriage Served Them Well.

The Reason Any Conservative's Failing Is Always Major News Is That It Allows Liberals To Engage In Their Very Favorite Taunt: Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy Is The Only Sin That Really Inflames Them. Inasmuch As Liberals Have No Morals, They Can Sit Back And Criticize Other People For Failing To Meet The Standards That Liberals Simply Renounce. It's An Intriguing Strategy. By Openly Admitting To Being Philanderers, Draft Dodgers, Liars, Weasels And Cowards, Liberals Avoid Ever Being Hypocrites.

When Contemplating College Liberals, You Really Regret Once Again That John Walker Is Not Getting The Death Penalty.we Need To Execute People Like John Walker In Order To Physically Intimidate Liberals, By Making Them Realize That They Can Be Killed Too. Otherwise They Will Turn Out To Be Outright Traitors.

It's Really Hard To Be A Black Republican. I See What They Go Through. It's A Good Little Trick The Entire Mainstream Media Has Pulled By Describing Republicans As "racist! Racist! Racist!" And Then Turning Around And Laughing At Us For Not Having More Blacks In Our Party.

No Wonder You Guys Lost.

Liberals Have A Preternatural Gift For Striking A Position On The Side Of Treason...whenever The Nation Is Under Attack, From Within Or Without, Liberals Side With The Enemy.

I Never Sought To Be A Pundit, Or On Tv, Or A Writer-it Just Kind Of Came To Me. If You Just Keep Doing What You Want To Do, You Wind Up Doing Precisely What You Want To Be Doing. Don't Resist How Life Bats You Around.

Doing What You Want

A Cruise Missile Is More Important Than Head Start.

Because Of The Industrialization Of Agriculture -- Using Massive Amounts Of Fossil Fuel -- Only 2 Percent Of Americans Work In Farming. And Yet They Produce Enough Food To Feed All 300 Million Americans, With Plenty Left Over For Export. When Are Liberals Going To Break The News To Their Friends In Darfur That They All Have To Starve To Death To Save The Planet?

Industrialization

The Tolerant Liberal Suddenly Becomes Very Intolerant When Their Official Religion Is Challenged.

This Is The Difference Between Conservatives And Liberals. Liberals Want Justices To Vote A Certain Way. We, Conservatives, Want A Particular Legal Philosophy, A Philosophy For How To Interpret The Constitution.

You Don't Want The Republicans In Power, Does That Mean You Want A Dictatorship, Gay Boy?

The "european Union" Happens To Be Composed Of People Who Hate Our Guts. It Is The Continent Where Moveon.org-style Lunatics Are The Friendly, Pro-american Types And The Rest Are Crazy Muslims.

I Love To Engage In Repartee With People Who Are Stupider Than I Am.

Canada Has Become Trouble Recently ... It's Always The Worst Americans Who Go There ... We Could Have Taken Them Over So Easy. But I Only Want The Western Part, With The Ski Areas, The Cowboys, And The Right Wingers. They're The Only Good Parts Of Canada.

Weirdly Enough, The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Black People In The Last Twenty Or Thirty Years Was The O.j. Simpson Verdict Because It Shut Down The White Guilt Bank. And White Guilt Has Never Led To Anything Good. It's Brought Us Spiraling Crime Rates, Mostly With Black Victims, And A Permanent Underclass Living In Public Housing Projects. For Years, Liberals Cried That "law And Order" And "welfare Reform" Were Racist Code Words.

Secretary Of Defense Donald Rumsfeld Said Any Assumption That The Us Would Not Use Force Against North Korea Would Be A Mistake. Such Bellicosity Frightens Liberals. The Left's Reaction To Nutty Despots Is: He Might Hit Me, So I'll Be Nice. Rumsfeld's Idea Is: He'll Hit Me? Maybe I'll Hit Him. The Beauty Of That Approach Cannot Be Denied.

I Am Emboldened By My Looks To Say Things Republican Men Wouldn't.

In Fact Sarah Palin Has Created More Jobs Than Obama Has. She Created Eleven Jobs Fact-checking At The Ap Just For The Palin Autobiography.

If Liberals Were Prevented From Ever Again Calling Republicans Dumb, They Would Be Robbed Of Half Their Arguments. To Be Sure, They Would Still Have Racist, Fascist, Homophobe, Ugly, And A Few Other Highly Nuanced Arguments In The Quiver. But The Loss Of Dumb Would Nearly Cripple Them.

Marriage Is Under Attack From So Many Different Areas. There Should Be Benefits Associated With Married People. Life Is Unfair. Maybe You Won't Find The Right Person And You Won't End Up Getting Married. Oh, Well, Life Is Unfair. But Married People, Because Of Their Capacity To Have Children, Even If They're Not Going To End Up Having Children, Even If They're Unable To Bear Children, Marriage Is An Institution That Is Absolutely Central To Civilization.

I'm Not Going To Be Lectured To.

Just As We're Always Told That Schoolyard Bullies Are Actually Deeply Insecure, Liberals Rationalize Their Own Ferocious Behavior By Claiming To Have Been Wounded Somehow. What About The Little Guy Our Poor, Insecure Bully Is Beating The Living Daylights Out Of? How's His Self-esteem Coming Along? That Is The Essence Of Liberals: They Viciously Attack Everyone Else, While Wailing That They Are The Victims.

The Idea Of A Bowed And Terrified Liberal Minority During Mccarthy's 'reign Of Terror' Is Poppycock. Then As Now, All Elite Opinion Was Against Mccarthy.

When Every One Of Your Arguments Is Characterized An Attempt To Bring Back Slavery Or Resegregate Lunch Counters, It's A Little Hard To Have Any Sort Of Productive Debate.

The Only Sexism Involved In The Miers Nomination Is The Administration's Claim That Once They Decided They Wanted A Woman, Miers Was The Best They Could Do. Let Me Just Say, If The Top Male Lawyer In The Country Is John Roberts And The Top Female Lawyer Is Harriet Miers, We May As Well Stop Allowing Girls To Go To Law School.

You Know, Ok, I Made A Few Jokes - And They Killed 3000 Americans. Fair Trade.

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Scott Brown's Victory In Massachusetts Has Got To Have Ted Kennedy Rolling Over In His Grave, Spilling His Drink.

...while A Sane World Would Not Employ 5-foot-tall Grandmothers As Law Enforcement Officers, A Sane World Would Also Not Give Full Body-cavity Searches To 5-foot-tall Grandmothers At Airports.

If Those Kids Had Been Carrying Guns They Would Have Gunned Down This One Gunman... Don't Pray. Learn To Use Guns.

The Fact That A Republican Is In The Late Senator Kennedy's Old Seat Probably Must Have Him Rolling In His Grave, Probably Spilling His Drink.

I'm More Of A Man Than Any Liberal.

[liberals] Think They Can Pass A Law Eliminating Guns And Nuclear Weapons, But Teenagers Having Sex Is Completely Beyond Our Control.

It Would Be A Much Better Country If Women Did Not Vote. That Is Simply A Fact. In Fact, In Every Presidential Election Since 1950 - Except Goldwater In '64 - The Republican Would Have Won, If Only The Men Had Voted.

Liberal Moms Like Soccer Because It's A Sport In Which Athletic Talent Finds So Little Expression That Girls Can Play With Boys. No Serious Sport Is Co-ed, Even At The Kindergarten Level.

In The Spirit Of Reaching Across The Aisle, We Owe It To The Democrats To Show Their President The Exact Same Kind Of Respect And Loyalty That They Have Shown Our Recent Republican President.

I Love The Question-and-answer. I Love To See Liberals Try To Thrash Their Way To A Coherent Argument. And Actually, I Think It's Fun To Debate.

As Bush Said, After Detailing Some Of Saddam Hussein's Charming Practices: “if This Is Not Evil, Then Evil Has No Meaning.” It's Not As If Anyone Is Worried That We're Making A Horrible Miscalculation And Could Be Removing The Iraqi Abraham Lincoln By Mistake.

Would That It Were So! ... That The American Military Were Targeting Journalists.

American Military

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Liberals Love America Like O.j. Loved Nicole

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If You Attack The Clintons Publicly, Make Sure All Your Friends Know That You Are Not Planning Suicide, That You're Not Careless When You Drive A Car.

If A University Official's Letter Accusing A Speaker Of Having A Proclivity To Commit Speech Crimes Before She's Given The Speech - Which Then Leads To Facebook Postings Demanding That Ann Coulter Be Hurt, A Massive Riot And A Police-ordered Cancellation Of The Speech - Is Not Hate Speech, Then There Is No Such Thing As Hate Speech.

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My Track Record Is Pretty Good On Predictions.

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In The Corporeal World, International Law Is Whatever The United States And Great Britain Say It Is.

According To The California Hospital Association, Health Care For Illegal Aliens Is Costing State Taxpayers Well Over $1 Billion A Year. Eighty-four Hospitals Across California Have Already Been Forced To Close Because Of Unpaid Bills By Illegal Aliens.

I Think There Are More Transgendered In America Than There Are People Who Worry About The Comfort And Security Who Broke In Our Country Illegally, Who Are Living Here Illegally, Are Taking Jobs Illegally, How Quickly It Moves Doesn't Really Matter.

The Religion That Has Transformed Western Civilization For Two Millennia Is A Blank Slate For Liberals. Their Closest Reference Point Is Conservative Christians, Meaning People You're Not Supposed To Hire. And These Are The People Who Carp About George Bush's Alleged Lack Of Intellectual Curiosity.

We're Bombarded With Liberal Propaganda 24/7, From The Early Morning Shows, Hollywood Movies, Documentaries And Sitcoms, All Major Newspapers, Fashion Magazines, The Sports Pages, Public Schools, College Professors And Administrators, Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera. Unless Liberals Specifically Seek Out Ann Coulter Books And Columns, Which I Highly Recommend, Or Tune Into Fox News Or Conservative Talk Radio, They Have No Idea What Conservatives Are Thinking.

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Do You Know What Christianity Is? We Believe Your Religion [judaism], But You [jews] Have To Obey.

I Support Guns And I Support The Death Penalty. Half Of My Interviews Are Convincing Liberals They're Not Liberal.

Liberal Soccer Moms Are Precisely As Likely To Receive Anthrax In The Mail As To Develop A Capacity For Linear Thinking.

Our Gays Are More Macho Than Their Straights.

When You Try To Figure Out What The Religious Right Is, It Ultimately Comes Down Either To One Man, Pat Robertson, Or Anyone Who Believes In A Higher Being And Wants Their Taxes Cut.

Looking At The Line-up Of Speakers At The (democratic National) Convention, I Have Developed The 7-11 Challenge: I Will Quit Making Fun Of, For Example, Dennis Kucinich, If He Can Prove He Can Run A 7-11 Properly For 8 Hours. We'll Even Let Him Have An Hour Or So Of Preparation Before We Open Up. Within 8 Hours, The Money Will Be Gone, The Store Will Be Empty, And He'll Be Explaining How Three 11-year Olds Came In And Asked For The Money And He Gave It To Them.

Whether They Are Defending The Soviet Union Or Bleating For Saddam Hussein, Liberals Are Always Against America. They Are Either Traitors Or Idiots, And On The Matter Of America's Self-preservation, The Difference Is Irrelevant.

The Only Important Lesson From The Vietnam War Is This: Democrats Lose Wars.

That Is [liberalism's] Goal - To Destroy The Family... [liberals] Just Made Up This Gay Marriage Thing Gays Are Natural Conservatives.

It Is Puzzling Why Anyone Would Want To (become Governor Of California). It's Like Vying To Become Roseanne Barr's Next Husband. Sure You'd Get Your Name In The Paper, But Look At The Mess You'd Be Getting Yourself Into.

My Favorite Founding Fathers, Christians Like John Adams, Were Absolutely Appalled By Slavery, And Did Not Own Slaves. I Think We're Going To Have To Call On God's Grace Not Only For Slavery, But For What We're Doing Now With Abortions.

I've Decided To Cut Out The Part Of The Speech Where I Say Anything Nice About Democrats.

Liberals Love To Strike Generous, Humanitarian Poses With Other People's Lives.

I Think The Government Should Be Spying On All Arabs, Engaging In Torture As A Televised Spectator Sport, Dropping Daisy Cutters Wantonly Throughout The Middle East And Sending Liberals To Guantanamo.

Like The Archers Of Agincourt, John O'neal And The 254 Swiftboat Veterans Took Down Their Own Haughty Frenchman.

I Think [whitewater]'s Going To Prevent The First Lady From Running For Senate.

I'm Getting A Little Fed Up With Hearing About, Oh, Civilian Casualties. I Think We Ought To Nuke North Korea Right Now Just To Give The Rest Of The World A Warning.

If We Had Complete Knowledge, You Wouldn't Need Any Intelligence Gathering Whatsoever. The President Isn't God. We Do Have Intelligence Gathering.

Intelligence Gathering

What I'm Critical Of Is - The White House Attacking Conservatives, For Saying We're Elitist For Pointing Out That Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Sit On The Supreme Court. I'm Starting To Feel Sort Of Bad About - About Saying That. And I'm Annoyed With George Bush [jr.] For Putting Us In The Position Of Having To Say That.

Ted Kennedy Says That Our Policy In Iraq Is Adrift. Hmmm. Maybe Like A Car Adrift In The Water After Its Has Gone Over A Bridge?

Married Women Vote Republican; Single Women Vote Democratic. That's Why Liberals Promote Policies To Break Up Families. Every Social Malady Is A Victory For The Left. A Couple Gets Divorced And Liberals Say, "yay! Another Democratic Voter!" A Child Is Born Out Of Wedlock And Liberals Say, "yay! Another Democratic Voter!" A Person Gets Addicted To Drugs And Liberals Say, "yay! Another Democratic Voter!"

If The Press Really Thinks Obama Is Lincoln, They Ought To Treat Him Like They Treated Bush, 'cause That's How They Treated Lincoln. His Critics Compared Lincoln To An Ape; They Called Him An Illiterate Baboon.

And Why Is It "homophobic" For Senate Republicans To Look Askance At Sex In Public Bathrooms? Is The Times Claiming That Sodomy In Public Bathrooms Is The Essence Of Being Gay? I Thought Gays Just Wanted To Get Married To One Another And Settle Down In The Suburbs So They Could Visit Each Other In The Hospital.

I'm Sure There Are People Who Consider Themselves Democrats, Maybe Even Liberals, Who Are Good Christians, But If So I Do Not Think They Understand The Tenants Of Those Two Organizations.

No Matter What Argument You Make Against Evolution, The Response Is Well, You Know, It's Possible To Believe In Evolution And Believe In God. Yes, And It's Possible To Believe In Spiderman And Believe In God, But That Doesn't Prove Spiderman Is True.

It May Be Annoying, But The Rash Of Hijackings By Connecticut Wasp Girls Surely Explains The Time-consuming - But Still Somehow Completely Useless - Examination Of My Personal Effects. We All Have To Make Sacrifices For Airline Safety.

As Far As I'm Concerned, I'm A Middle-of-the-road Moderate And The Rest Of You Are Crazy.

Clinton Masturbates In The Sinks.

The Beauty Of Being A Liberal Is That History Always Begins This Morning. Every Day Liberals Can Create A New Narrative That Destroys The Past As It Occurred. We Have Always Been At War With Eastasia.

My Libertarian Friends Are Probably Getting A Little Upset Now But I Think That's Because They Never Appreciate The Benefits Of Local Fascism.

Conservatives Have A Problem With Women. For That Matter, All Men Do.

I Am The Illegal Alien Of Commentary. I Will Do The Jokes That No One Else Will Do.

It Was Not Lost On Osama Bin Laden That It Only Took 18 Dead In Somalia For The Great Satan To Pull Out. It Should Not Be Lost On Americans That This Is What The Democrats Are Again Demanding We Do In Iraq.

Osama Bin Laden

That Is The Theme Of The Million Mom March: 'i Don't Need A Brain - I've Got A Womb'.

Anyplace Market Forces Have Been Artificially Removed By The Government There Is A Total Absence Of Incentives, Competition, Effective Oversight, Cost Controls And So On.

If John Kerry Had A Dollar For Every Time He Bragged About Serving In Vietnam - Oh Wait, He Does.

One More Item For The Delusional Miss Grundys Still Obtusely Citing Reagan As Their Model Of “niceness”: As Governor Of California, Reagan Gave Student Protesters At Berkeley The Finger. Remember That Next Time You Ask Yourself: “what Would Reagan Do?” People Who Are Afraid Of Ideas Whitewash Reagan Like They Whitewash Jesus. Sorry To Break It To You, But The Reagan Era Did Not Consist Of Eight Years Of Reagan Joking About His Naps.

Canada Used To Be...one Of Our Most...most Loyal Friends, And Vice Versa. I Mean, Canada Sent Troops To Vietnam. Was Vietnam Less Containable And More Of A Threat Than Saddam Hussein?

Why Not Go To War Just For Oil? We Need Oil. What Do Hollywood Celebrities Imagine Fuels Their Private Jets? How Do They Think Their Cocaine Is Delivered To Them?

Liberals Can't Just Come Out And Say, They Want To Take More Of Our Money, Kill Babies, And Discriminate On The Basis Of Race.

Unfortunately, Proof Of A Jefferson-hemings Liaison Was As Fanciful As Professor Ellis' War Service.

But Ultimately, The Purpose Of Marriage Is To Transmit Civilization To The Next Generation. There Has Never Been An Institution That Does It As Well As Marriage, And That Is Marriage Between A Man And A Woman.

Any Growing Interest In Soccer Can Only Be A Sign Of The Nation's Moral Decay.

Enjoy Most: The Prospect Of Having An Impact On The Public Debate. Irritating Liberals Is A Close Second.

There Is No Surer Proof Of Christ's Divinity Than That He Is Still So Hated Some Two Thousand Years After His Death.

David Axelrod Says We Need To Inspire More Young People To Be Journalists? How About Inspiring Journalists To Be Journalists?

As Long As American Liberals Are Going To Keep Announcing That They're Embarrassed For Their Country, How About Being Embarrassed By Our Public Schools Or By Our Ridiculous Trial Lawyer Culture That Other Countries Find Laughable?

Our Blacks Are Better Than Their's

One Recent Menu For Suspected Terrorists At Guantanamo Consisted Of Orange Glazed Chicken, Fresh Fruit Crepe, Steamed Peas And Mushrooms, And Rice Pilaf. Sounds Like The Sort Of Thing You'd Get At Windows On The World - If It Still Existed.

It's Just Like A Liberal, They Import Slaves, They Hold Slaves, They Fight For Slavery, They Go To War In A Civil War To Defend Slavery. They Then Install Legal Discrimination Against Blacks For A Hundred Years.

College Campuses Have Become Fascist Colonies Of Anti-american Hate Speech, Hypersensitivity, Speech Codes, Banded Words And Prohibited Scientific Inquiry.

I'd Pretty Much Debate Anybody. I Prefer To Debate Smart Liberals. I'm Not Saying This About Stephen Colbert But, Unfortunately, The Most Famous Liberals Generally Aren't The Smartest Ones. I Have A List Of The Smarter Liberals I Recommend.

A Married Woman, The Safest Place For Any Woman To Be Is At Home With Her Husband.

I Never Wanted To Be Famous And The Only Part I Like Is That It Means People Are Reading My Books And Listening To Me On Tv And Radio.

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I'm A Problem-solver, And You're Welcome.

Problem Solvers

I Sort Of Feel Sorry For Gays Being The Last Ones At The Sexual Revolution Window. We've Had Liberalizing Rules On Divorce. We've Had The Sexual Revolution. We've Had, You Know, The Pill, And Burning Bras And Rampant Premarital Sex And Polymorphous Perversity.

Gay Marriage Is A Tricky Issue For The Democrats Due To The Fact That - Like Taxes, Defense And Education - They Are Forced To Lie About Their Position When Running For Office. In Other Words, Democrats Are Gay Marriage Supporters Trapped In The Bodies Of Candidates Who Oppose Gay Marriage. And No Issue-reassignment Surgery Can Help Them.

The Democrats Pretended To Care About Black People For About Five Minutes To Help Their Electoral Process, And Then Civil Rights Suddenly Became Abortion On Demand, Gay Marriage, Rights For The Homeless, Etc.

All We Can Do Is Politely Ask Aliens From Suspect Nations To Leave ... While We Sort The Peace-loving Immigrants From The Murderous Fanatics.... Muslim Immigrants Who Agree To Spy On The Millions Of Muslim Citizens Unaffected By The Deportation Order Can Stay.

Liberals Are Stalwart Defenders Of Civil Liberties - Provided We're Only Talking About Criminals.

The Left’s Idea Of “science” Is That We Should All Be Riding Bicycles And Using The Clivus Multrum Composting Latrines Instead Of Flush Toilets. Anyone Who Dissents, They Say — While Adjusting Their Healing Crystals For Emphasis — Is “afraid Of Science.”

Blacks Have A Special History, Since They Were Enslaved And Were Here As Early As The First Americans. I Hate To Sound Like A Liberal But These Are Facts. That Makes Blacks A Special Group.

I Wouldn't Know All That I Do About History, If I Spent My Time Watching Cartoons And Other Tv Shows.

Government Workers Think The Job Of Everyone Else In The Economy Is To Protect Their High Salaries, Crazy Work Rules And Obscene Pensions. They Self-righteously Lecture Us About Public Service, The Children, A 'living Wage' All In The Service Of Squeezing More Money From The Taxpayer To Fund Their Breathtakingly Selfish Job Arrangements.

Liberals Are More Upset When A Tree Is Chopped Down Than When A Child Is Aborted. Even If One Rates An Unborn Child Less Than A Full-blown Person, Doesn't The Unborn Child Rate Slightly Higher Than Vegetation?

Obama Said, 'now Let Me Be Clear, Issues Of Women's Equality Are By No Means Simply An Issue For Islam.' No, He Said, 'the Struggle For Women's Equality Continues In Many Aspects Of American Life.' So On One Hand, 12-year-old Girls Are Stoned To Death For The Crime Of Being Raped In Muslim Countries. But On The Other Hand, We Still Don't Have Enough Female Firefighters Here In America.

Americans Cannot Comprehend How Their Fellow Countrymen Could Not Love Their Country. But The Left's Anti-americanism Is Intrinsic To Their Entire Worldview. Liberals Promote The Right Of Islamic Fanatics For The Same Reason They Promote The Rights Of Adulterers, Pornographers, Abortionists, Criminals, And Communists. They Instinctively Root For Anarchy Against Civilization. The Inevitable Logic Of The Liberal Position Is To Be For Treason.

Either We're Removing A Dictator Who Currently Has Plans To Fund Terrorism Against American Citizens Or -- If Bush Is Completely Wrong And Eleanor Clift Is Completely Right -- We're Just Removing A Dictator Who Plans To Terrorize A Lot Of People In The Region, But Not Americans Specifically. Even For Someone Like Me, Who Doesn't Want America To Be The World's Policeman, The Risk Of Precipitous Action Against Saddam Hussein Doesn't Keep Me Up At Night.

Liberals Despise The Rule Of Law Because It Interferes With Their Ability To Rule By Mob. They Love To Portray Themselves As The Weak Taking On The Powerful. But It Is The Least Powerful Who Suffer The Most Once The Rule Of Law Is Gone.

Talking To Liberals Is Much More Fun Now That We Have Lexis-nexis.

Democrats Should Run Mahmoud Ahmadinejad For President. He's More Coherent Than Dennis Kucinich, He Dresses Like Their Base, He's More Macho Than John Edwards, And He's Willing To Show Up At A Forum Where He Might Get One Hostile Question - Unlike The Current Democratic Candidates For President Who Won't Debate On Fox News Channel. He's Not Married To An Impeached President, And The Name Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is Surely No More Frightening Than B. Hussein Obama.

The Truth Cannot Be Delivered With Novocaine.

Some People Say I'm Really Ugly And Anorexic; Some Say The Only Reason I'm On Tv Is Because I'm Pretty. I Say To Them: Get Your Slander Straight. You Are What You Are, Whether You're Small Or Skinny Or Smart Or Dumb. Just Do What You Do.

As The Leader Of Twelve Apostles, Even Jesus Had More Executive Experience Than Obama.

We Need To Execute People Like (john Walker Lindh) In Order To Physically Intimidate Liberals.

Why Is It That The Same People Who Have The Least Confidence In The Police And The Military Are The Most Willing To Allow Only The Police And The Military To Have Guns?

Gore Said Foreigners Are Not Worried About 'what The Terrorist Networks Are Going To Do, But About What We're Going To Do.' Good. They Should Be Worried. They Hate Us? We Hate Them. Americans Don't Want To Make Islamic Fanatics Love Us. We Want To Make Them Die. There's Nothing Like Horrendous Physical Pain To Quell Anger. Japanese Kamikazes Pilots Hated Us Once, Too. A Couple Of Well-aimed Nuclear Weapons Got Their Attention. Now They Are Gentle Little Lambs.

The Only Question I'd Be Interested In Is What Books Other Celebrities Have Read Recently, Which Is Part Of My Campaign To Promote Reading.

I'm Thinking Of Writing A Book On National Health Care. It Will Be 2,000 Pages, And You'll Have Two Hours To Read It.

...the Definition Of Swiftboating Is: Producing Irrefutable Evidence That A Democrat Is Lying.

My Only Regret With Timothy Mcveigh Is He Did Not Go To The New York Times Building.

I'm Against Reparations. At This Point, Blacks Should Just Be Handing Money To Themselves.

In Another Show Of America's Force To The World, When The Soviets Invaded Afghanistan, Carter Responded By Boycotting The Olympics. And Thus Was A Fearsome Blow Struck At Little Fourteen-year-old American Girls Who Had Spent Their Lives Training For The Olympics.

The Democratic Party Supports Criminals And Islamic Terrorists But Has No Sympathy For Taxpayers.

Fundamentalist Muslim Terrorists Kill Three Thousand Americans, But America Isn't Supposed To Respond, Because If We Respond, They'll Respond. We Always Hear About 'karmic Retributions' And The 'cycle Of Violence' Only After We've Been Hit.

Already Liberals Are Trying To Rewrite The History Of The Cold War To Remove Reagan From Its Core, To Make Him A Doddering B-movie Actor Who Happened To Be Standing There When The Soviet Union Imploded. They Have The Media, The Universities, The Textbooks. We Have Ourselves. We Are The Witnesses.

...sean Penn Claimed To Be 'serv[ing] The Country' By Giving Aid And Comfort To An Enemy About To Be Attacked By The Us. He Said It Made Him Feel More Patriotic To Dissent From The War Aims Of His Nation. It Is At Least A Counterintuitive Position. Most People Would Not Instantly Grasp How It Is More Patriotic To Always Root Against America. White Supremacists Should Try Claiming That Burning Crosses Is More Supportive Of Civil Rights Than Not Burning Them.

Science Is Something That You Have Facts. They Can Be Tested. They Can Be Checked. Heterosexual Aids, Another One.

I Promise You: No American Whose Great-grandfather Was Born Here Is Watching Soccer. One Can Only Hope That, In Addition To Learning English, These New Americans Will Drop Their Soccer Fetish With Time.

The Only Beef Enron Employees Have With Top Management Is That Management Did Not Inform Employees Of The Collapse In Time To Allow Them To Get In On The Swindle. If Enron Executives Had Shouted, "head For The Hills!" The Employees Might Have Had Time To Sucker Other Americans Into Buying Wildly Over-inflated Enron Stock. Just Because Your Boss Is A Criminal Doesn't Make You A Hero.

We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

So For Those Of You Who Haven't Read Any Of My Five Best-selling Books: Liberals Are Driven By Satan And Lie Constantly.

Because Of All Our Presidents, Barack Obama Is The One Most Likely To Be Descended From A Slave Trader, Since Kenya Had A Major Slave-trading Port, And The Muslims Were Heavily Involved In The Slave Trade.

Once Man's Connection To The Divine Is Denied, You Can Reason Yourself From Here To Anywhere.

These Days, Even A Moderate Democrat Is Someone Who Thinks You Shouldn't Be Taught Fisting Until You're At Least 12 Years Old.

There's Never A Recession If You Work For The Government.

I Might Be In Favor Of National Healthcare If It Required All Democrats To Get Their Heads Examined.

It Confirms My Idea That You Also Need More Liberal Gun Laws. Guns Lead To A Polite Society, As We Like To Say In The United States. And I Think That All Of Western Canada Would Agree With Me.

Words Mean Nothing To Liberals. They Say Whatever Will Help Advance Their Cause At The Moment, Switch Talking Points In A Heartbeat, And Then Act Indignant If Anyone Uses The Exact Same Argument They Were Using Five Minutes Ago.

As Soon As The Subject Moves To Tv Shows And Movies, I'm A Total Failure. And I'd Been Paying For All Those Premium Channels For Years, But Recently Cancelled Them, Since I Never Watched Any Of Those Networks.

If Mexican Farm Labor Is So Much Cheaper, Maybe We Should Be Growing Our Fruits And Vegetables In Mexico. There's Absolutely No Reason To Import Mexicans To Do Something They Could Do At Home And Then Sell To Us. I Believe This Is What Economists Call "competitive Advantage".

If Americans Loved Judicial Activism, Liberals Wouldn't Be Lying About What It Is. Judicial Activism Means Making Up Constitutional Rights In Order To Strike Down Laws The Justices Don't Like Based On Their Personal Preferences. It's Not Judicial Activism To Strike Down Laws Because They Violate The Constitution.

Like So Many Liberal Icons, Marx Seldom Bathed And Left His Wife And Children In Poverty. As Schlafly Says, No Wonder Liberal Women Think Men Are Pigs: Their Men Are Pigs.

With Albright At The Helm Of The State Department, Osama Bin Laden Ran Wild Throughout The Middle East, The North Koreans Began Feverishly Building Nukes Under Her Nose, And We Staged A Pre-emptive Attack Solely For Purposes Of Regime Change Based On False Information Presented To The American People By Albright About A World Leader Who Was Not An Imminent Threat To The United States. Slobodan Milosevic Wasn't Even A Latent, Long-term, Hypothetical Threat.

Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Play A Supreme Court Justice On The West Wing , Let Alone To Be A Real One.

Faggot Isn't Offensive To Gays; It's Got Nothing To Do With Gays.

Taxes Are Like Abortion, And Not Just Because Both Are Grotesque Procedures Supported By Democrats. You're For Them Or Against Them. Taxes Go Up Or Down; Government Raises Taxes Or Lowers Them. But Democrats Will Not Let The Words "abortion" Or "tax Hikes" Pass Their Lips.

But All Liberals Only Have Empathy For The Exact Same Victims - Always The Ones That Are Represented By Powerful Liberal Interest Groups.

Until You Can Intelligently Articulate The Other Side's Position, You Are Not An Adult. You Are A Liberal.

A Word To Those Of You Out There Who Have Yet To Be Offended By Something I Have Said: Please Be Patient. I Am Working As Fast As I Can.

Invalidating Laws Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With Judicial Activism. It Depends On Whether The Law Is Unconstitutional Or Not. That's Really The Key Point.

Democrats See Our Voluntary Military Supported By Taxpayer Dollars As Their Personal Salvation Army. Self-interested Behavior, Such As Deploying Troops To Serve The Nation, Is Considered Boorish In Manhattan Salons.

Liberals Dispute That Reagan Won The Cold War On The Basis Of Their Capacity To Put Mocking Quotation Marks Around The Word, Won. That's Pretty Much The Full Argument: Restate A Factual Proposition With Sneering Quote Marks.

Quotation Marks

Nbc's The West Wing Is An Icon For Bad Stories; Gitmo Is A Place Where We Keep An Eye On Evil, Dangerous People Who Want To Kill Us.

Hollywood Liberals Could Not Be Reached For Comment On The Cost Of The Inauguration Because They Were Being Fitted For Gowns And Jewelry Worth Millions Of Dollars In Anticipation Of Oscar Night.

We Just Want Jews To Be Perfected, As They Say.

Hearing Politicians Tell Us We Can't Afford A Tax Cut Is Like Listening To A Glutton Tell You He Can't Afford A Diet. In No Other Context Do People Talk About Paying For Money They Don't Have. I Can't Pay For Your Refusal To Give Me Money Because I Need A Yacht.

Obviously, I'm A Fan Of Satire. I'd Debate Anyone, But It Would Have To Be The Actual Person. That Would Be My Only Hesitation About Debating Stephen Colbert. If He Were Playing A Character, It Wouldn't Really Work.

A 1990 Study By The (liberal) Progressive Policy Institute Showed That, After Controlling For Single Motherhood, The Difference In Black And White Crime Rates Disappeared.

Black And White

The Episcopalians Don't Demand Much In The Way Of Actual Religious Belief. They Have Girl Priests, Gay Priests, Gay Bishops, Gay Marriages? It's Much Like The New York Times Editorial Board. They Acknowledge The Ten Commandments? Or "moses' Talking Points"? But Hasten To Add That They're Not Exactly "carved In Stone."

A False Argument Should Be Refuted, Not Named. That's The Basic Idea Behind Freedom Of Speech. Arguments By Name-calling, Rather Than Truth And Light, Can Generally Be Presumed Fraudulent.

In Response To Skyrocketing Gas Prices, Liberals Say, Practically In Unison, 'we Can't Drill Our Way Out Of This Crisis.' What Does That Mean? This Is Like Telling A Starving Man, 'you Can't Eat Your Way Out Of Being Hungry!' 'you Can't Water Your Way Out Of Drought!' 'you Can't Sleep Your Way Out Of Tiredness!' 'you Can't Drink Yourself Out Of Dehydration!' Seriously, What Does It Mean? Finding More Oil Isn't Going To Increase The Supply Of Oil? It Is The Typical Democratic Strategy To Babble Meaningless Slogans, As If They Have A Plan. Their Plan Is: The Permanent Twilight Of The Human Race.

Even Obama's Staunchest Supporters Are Starting To Leave Him. Last Week Michelle Obama Demanded To See A Copy Of His Birth Certificate.

When Minutemen Leader Jim Gilchrist And His Black Colleague Marvin Stewart Were Invited By The College Republicans To Speak At Columbia Last Year, The Tolerant, Free-speech-loving Columbia Students Violently Attacked Them, Shutting Down The Speech.

Harvard Graduates Just Cannot Shake The Idea That They Know Better Than Everyone Else What's Best For Us And That They're Capable Of Running A Mammoth, Unwieldy Government Program Providing Each One Of Us With The Precise Health Insurance We Need, At A Good Price, With No Waste Or Fraud. Trust Them, They Worked It All Out On Paper Their Junior Year.

His Pomposity Is Overshadowed Only By His Rank Stupidity

If Liberals Think They Are Losing Elections Because Of The Conservative Bias In The Media, They May As Well Give Up Right Now.

There's Been Another Mass Shooting By A Crazy Person, And Liberals Still Refuse To Consider Institutionalizing The Dangerously Mentally Ill.

Not All Muslims May Be Terrorists, But All Terrorists Are Muslims.

When Contemplating A Shield That Would Protect America For Incoming Missiles, Democrats Suddenly Became Hardheaded Fiscal Conservatives. For The First Time In Recorded History, Liberals Were Concerned About The Cost And Usefulness Of A Government Program. These People Believe Federally Funded Art Therapy For The Homeless Will Pay For Itself. That You Can Take To The Bank. But A Shield To Repel Incoming Nuclear Missiles From American Soil They Said, Was Too Expensive And Wouldn't Work.

I Think Obama Has Redefined The Democratic Party. It Used To Be The Party Of Acid, Amnesty, And Abortion, And Now It's Surrender, Socialism, And Subprime Mortgages.

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Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

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