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...while A Sane World Would Not Employ 5-foot-tall Grandmothers As Law Enforcement Officers, A Sane World Would Also Not Give Full Body-cavity Searches To 5-foot-tall Grandmothers At Airports.

-Ann Coulter

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...while A Sane World

Ann Coulter

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...while A Sane World Would Not Employ 5-foot-tall Grandmothers As Law Enforcement Officers, A Sane World Would Also Not Give Full Body-cavity Searches To 5-foot-tall Grandmothers At Airports.

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More From Ann Coulter

Democrats Cannot Conceive Of "hate Speech" Towards Christians Because, In Their Eyes, Christians Always Deserve It.

We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity. We Weren't Punctilious About Locating And Punishing Only Hitler And His Top Officers. We Carpet-bombed German Cities; We Killed Civilians. That's War. And This Is War.

I Think The Government Should Be Spying On All Arabs, Engaging In Torture As A Televised Spectator Sport, Dropping Daisy Cutters Wantonly Throughout The Middle East And Sending Liberals To Guantanamo.

Isn't Food Important? Why Not "universal Food Coverage"? If Politicians And Employers Had Guaranteed Us "free" Food 50 Years Ago, Today Democrats Would Be Wailing About The "food Crisis" In America, And You'd Be On The Phone With Your Food Care Provider Arguing About Whether Or Not A Reuben Sandwich With Fries Was Covered Under Your Plan.

On One Hand, Liberals Are Enraged At The Heinousness Of Mark Sanford - Whom They Didn't Vote For - For Not Resigning And, On The Other, They're Enraged At Palin - Whom They Also Didn't Vote For - For Resigning.

Liberals Are More Upset When A Tree Is Chopped Down Than When A Child Is Aborted. Even If One Rates An Unborn Child Less Than A Full-blown Person, Doesn't The Unborn Child Rate Slightly Higher Than Vegetation?

What I And Other Commentators Do Is Attempt To Move The Public Opinion. We Try To Change Minds.

Even Obama's Staunchest Supporters Are Starting To Leave Him. Last Week Michelle Obama Demanded To See A Copy Of His Birth Certificate.

In The History Of The Nation, There Has Never Been A Political Party So Ridiculous As Today's Democrats. It's As If All The Brain-damaged People In America Got Together And Formed A Voting Bloc.

College Campuses Have Become Fascist Colonies Of Anti-american Hate Speech, Hypersensitivity, Speech Codes, Banded Words And Prohibited Scientific Inquiry.

Marriage Is Under Attack From So Many Different Areas. There Should Be Benefits Associated With Married People. Life Is Unfair. Maybe You Won't Find The Right Person And You Won't End Up Getting Married. Oh, Well, Life Is Unfair. But Married People, Because Of Their Capacity To Have Children, Even If They're Not Going To End Up Having Children, Even If They're Unable To Bear Children, Marriage Is An Institution That Is Absolutely Central To Civilization.

It Is An Article Of Faith With The Democrats That They Must Fool Americans By Simulating Agreement With Normal People. The Winner Of The Democratic Primary Is Always The Candidate Who Does The Best Impersonation Of An American.

Democrats Always Assure Us That Deterrence Will Work, But When The Time Comes To Deter, They're Against It.

Britain Makes It Absolutely, Blindingly Clear That It Is Liberal Social Welfare Policies. And They Have Turned A Good Chunk Of Their Native Population Into Animals. They Are Absolute Animals. They Are Not Humans With Free Will. They Eat, They Screw, They Drink.

Why Couldn't Obama Have Picked Somebody Respectable As His Running Mate, You Know, Like John Kerry Did?

I Would Rank George Washington As America's Greatest President, But He Only Had To Defeat What Was Then The World's Greatest Military Power With A Ragtag Group Of Irregulars And Some Squirrel Guns, Whereas Ronald Reagan Had To Defeat Liberals.

The Democratic Party Supports Criminals And Islamic Terrorists But Has No Sympathy For Taxpayers.

The Democrats Pretended To Care About Black People For About Five Minutes To Help Their Electoral Process, And Then Civil Rights Suddenly Became Abortion On Demand, Gay Marriage, Rights For The Homeless, Etc.

Canada Used To Be...one Of Our Most...most Loyal Friends, And Vice Versa. I Mean, Canada Sent Troops To Vietnam. Was Vietnam Less Containable And More Of A Threat Than Saddam Hussein?

Blacks Have A Special History, Since They Were Enslaved And Were Here As Early As The First Americans. I Hate To Sound Like A Liberal But These Are Facts. That Makes Blacks A Special Group.

The Portrayal Of Senator Joe Mccarthy As A Wild-eyed Demagogue Destroying Innocent Lives Is Sheer Liberal Hobgoblinism. Liberals Weren't Cowering In Fear During The Mccarthy Era. They Were Systematically Undermining The Nation's Ability To Defend Itself While Waging A Bellicose Campaign Of Lies To Blacken Mccarthy's Name. Everything You Think You Know About Mccarthy Is A Hegemonic Lie. Liberals Denounced Mccarthy Because They Were Afraid Of Getting Caught, So They Fought Back Like Animals To Hide Their Own Collaboration With A Regime As Evil As The Nazis.

To Expiate The Pain Of Losing Her Firstborn Son In The Iraq War, Cindy Sheehan Decided To Cheer Herself Up By Engaging In Stalinist Agitprop Outside President Bush's Crawford Ranch, ... It's The Strangest Method Of Grieving I've Seen Since Paul Wellstone's Funeral. Someone Needs To Teach These Liberals How To Mourn.

While The Form Of Treachery Varies Slightly From Case To Case, Liberals Always Manage To Take The Position That Most Undermines American Security.

When Your Party Is Controlled By A Billionaire Rootless International Financier Who Expresses 'no Sense Of Guilt' For Collaborating With The Nazis, You Might Want To Ease Up On Lecturing The Rest Of Us About The Evil Rich.

I'm Sure There Are People Who Consider Themselves Democrats, Maybe Even Liberals, Who Are Good Christians, But If So I Do Not Think They Understand The Tenants Of Those Two Organizations.

Why Is It That The Same People Who Have The Least Confidence In The Police And The Military Are The Most Willing To Allow Only The Police And The Military To Have Guns?

I Wouldn't Know All That I Do About History, If I Spent My Time Watching Cartoons And Other Tv Shows.

Only A War That Serves No Conceivable National Interest Gets The New York Time's Endorsement. Liberals Warm To The Idea Of American Mothers Weeping For Their Sons, But Only If Their Deaths Will Not Make America Any Safer.

'moderate Republican' Is Simply How The Blabocracy Flatters Republicans Who Vote With The Democrats. If It Weren't So Conspicuous, The 'new York Times' Would Start Referring To 'nice Republicans' And 'mean Republicans'

We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

If You Attack Ann Coulter, You Don't End Up With Your Cat Killed Or Your Tires Slashed.

I'm A Christian First, And A Mean-spirited, Bigoted Conservative Second, And Don't You Ever Forget It. You Know Who Else Was Kind Of "divisive" In Terms Of Challenging The Status Quo And The Powers-that-be Of His Day? Jesus Christ.

Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume.

If We're So Cruel To Minorities, Why Do They Keep Coming Here? Why Aren't They Sneaking Across The Mexican Border To Make Their Way To The Taliban?

Anyplace Market Forces Have Been Artificially Removed By The Government There Is A Total Absence Of Incentives, Competition, Effective Oversight, Cost Controls And So On.

A Cruise Missile Is More Important Than Head Start.

If You Attack The Clintons Publicly, Make Sure All Your Friends Know That You Are Not Planning Suicide, That You're Not Careless When You Drive A Car.

My Libertarian Friends Are Probably Getting A Little Upset Now But I Think That's Because They Never Appreciate The Benefits Of Local Fascism.

Four Years Of Jimmy Carter Gave Us Two Titanic Reagan Landslides, Peace And Prosperity For Eight Blessed Years - And Even A Third Term For His Feckless Vice President, George H.w. Bush.

Liberals Love To Strike Generous, Humanitarian Poses With Other People's Lives.

The Idea That Making An Activity Legal Would Reduce Its Incidence Is Preposterous. This Is Exactly Like The Clintonian Statement About Wanting To Make Abortion 'safe, Legal And Rare.' The Most Effective Way To Make Something 'rare' Is To Make It Illegal.

Enjoy Most: The Prospect Of Having An Impact On The Public Debate. Irritating Liberals Is A Close Second.

But Liberals Love To Drape Themselves In Decades-old Glories They Had Nothing To Do With.

In California, The Fabulously Rich Support The Poor With Government Jobs, Paid For By The Middle Class Which Is Now Living In Arizona.

Liberals Have Managed To Eliminate The Idea Of Manly Honor. Instead, All They Have Is Womanly Indignation.

When Liberals Start Acting Like They're Opposed To Pre-marital Sex And Mothers Having Careers, You Know Mccain's Vice Presidential Choice Has Knocked Them Back On Their Heels.

Ironically, Since Obama Was Elected, For The First Time In My Life I'm Sometimes Not Proud Of My Country.

No Wonder You Guys Lost.

The Democrats Have No Actual Policy Proposals Of Their Own Unless Constant Carping Counts As A Policy.

Clinton Masturbates In The Sinks.

Obamacare Would Never Have Passed Without Decades Of Massive Immigration From The Third World. Liberals Didn't Change Any Minds - They Changed The Voters.

I'm Thinking Of Writing A Book On National Health Care. It Will Be 2,000 Pages, And You'll Have Two Hours To Read It.

Now Liberals Compare Their Every Riot, Every Traffic Blockage, Every Starbucks-window-smashing Street Protest To The Civil Rights Movement -- Which Was Only Necessary Because Of Them.

I Promise You: No American Whose Great-grandfather Was Born Here Is Watching Soccer. One Can Only Hope That, In Addition To Learning English, These New Americans Will Drop Their Soccer Fetish With Time.

Liberalism Is Part Of A Religious Disorder That Demands A Belief That Life Is Controllable.

If We Took Away Women's Right To Vote, We'd Never Have To Worry About Another Democrat President.

The Episcopalians Don't Demand Much In The Way Of Actual Religious Belief. They Have Girl Priests, Gay Priests, Gay Bishops, Gay Marriages? It's Much Like The New York Times Editorial Board. They Acknowledge The Ten Commandments? Or "moses' Talking Points"? But Hasten To Add That They're Not Exactly "carved In Stone."

I Love To Engage In Repartee With People Who Are Stupider Than I Am.

The "european Union" Happens To Be Composed Of People Who Hate Our Guts. It Is The Continent Where Moveon.org-style Lunatics Are The Friendly, Pro-american Types And The Rest Are Crazy Muslims.

The Fact That A Republican Is In The Late Senator Kennedy's Old Seat Probably Must Have Him Rolling In His Grave, Probably Spilling His Drink.

As President, Clinton Sold Burial Plots In Arlington Cemetery And Liberals Shrugged It Off. What Really Gets Their Goat Is The Autopen. Evidently, The Important Thing Was That Every One Of Those Pardons Clinton Sold For Cash On His Last Day In Office Was Signed By Bill Clinton Personally.

Unfortunately, Proof Of A Jefferson-hemings Liaison Was As Fanciful As Professor Ellis' War Service.

Liberals Have A Preternatural Gift For Striking A Position On The Side Of Treason...whenever The Nation Is Under Attack, From Within Or Without, Liberals Side With The Enemy.

Here's A Foolproof Method For Keeping America Safe. Always Do The Exact 180-degree Opposite Of Whatever [jimmy] Carter Says, As Quickly As Possible.

When Contemplating A Shield That Would Protect America For Incoming Missiles, Democrats Suddenly Became Hardheaded Fiscal Conservatives. For The First Time In Recorded History, Liberals Were Concerned About The Cost And Usefulness Of A Government Program. These People Believe Federally Funded Art Therapy For The Homeless Will Pay For Itself. That You Can Take To The Bank. But A Shield To Repel Incoming Nuclear Missiles From American Soil They Said, Was Too Expensive And Wouldn't Work.

The Only Question I'd Be Interested In Is What Books Other Celebrities Have Read Recently, Which Is Part Of My Campaign To Promote Reading.

The Key To The U.n.'s Global Warming Study Was Man's Use Of Aerosol Spray. You Have To Know The French Were Involved In A Study Concluding That Arrid Extra Dry Is Destroying The Earth. In A World In Which Everyone Smelled, The French Would Be At No Disadvantage. Aerosol Spray. How Convenient.

Republicans Have Reached Out So Much To Black Republicans Because It's Part Of Our Tradition. Blacks Have Been In This Nation Longer Than Most Other Americans With The Possible Exception Of White Anglo-saxon Protestant. The First Blacks In Congress And The First Black Governor Were All Republicans. It Was Republicans Who Fought The Civil War Over Slavery And Who Introduced The Civil Rights Legislation Over The Next Hundred Years.

Hearing Politicians Tell Us We Can't Afford A Tax Cut Is Like Listening To A Glutton Tell You He Can't Afford A Diet. In No Other Context Do People Talk About Paying For Money They Don't Have. I Can't Pay For Your Refusal To Give Me Money Because I Need A Yacht.

I Was Morose That The Era Of Barack Obama Has Returned Us To A Period Where Everything Is Racist, Everyone Is Walking On Eggshells, And You Get The Moral Preening From White Liberals Who Don't Actually Even Know Any Black People. But, Oh, Do They Love To Get On Their High Horses And Accuse Republicans Of Being Racist For Opposing Very Liberal Government Policies And A Very Liberal Democratic President. It's An Extension Of The Civil Rights Label Being Slapped On Gay Marriage And Abortion. Allow Me To Be Bi-partisan For A Moment, And Love This Moment Because It Won't Last Long.

Back When They Supported Segregation, Lott And Thurmond Were Democrats.

In The Very Next Election, The American People Elected 63 New Republicans To The House Of Representatives - The Largest Sweep Of Congress For Any Party Since 1948. Even Liberal Massachusetts Elected A Republican Senator Solely Because Of His Vow To Vote Against Obamacare.

If I'm Going To Say Anything About John Edwards In The Future, I'll Just Wish He Had Been Killed In A Terrorist Assassination Plot.

Liberals Are Stalwart Defenders Of Civil Liberties - Provided We're Only Talking About Criminals.

The New York Times And The Rest Of The Mainstream Media Will Only Refer To Partial Birth Abortion As 'what Its Opponents Refer To As Partial Birth Abortions.' What Do Its Supporters Call It? Casual Fridays? Bean-with-bacon Potato Chip Dip? Uh . . . Steve?

Do Not Allow Democrats Anywhere Near Foreign Policy. Not Even To Keep Them Away From Domestic Policy. It's A Mistake To Ask Those Who Don't Even Like Democracy To Defend It.

Yet, When Republicans Were Finally Able To Push Through Tough Policies On Crime And Welfare Which They'd Supported For Decades, They Were Magnificent Successes For The Entire Country, But Especially For Black People. Release Us, And Great Things Will Happen!

Liberals Are Hopping Mad Because Rush Limbaugh Referred To Phony Soldiers As "phony Soldiers." They Claim He Was Accusing All Democrats In The Military Of Being "phony." True, All Democrats In The Military Are Not Phony Soldiers, But All Phony Soldiers Seem To Be Democrats.

Yes, Of Course, Black Americans Are A Special Group, And I'm Disappointed That They're Not Republicans, Given Our Traditions. We're Not Getting Much Love In Return, Despite Our Efforts.

The Media Will Spend Weeks Going Through Pay Stubs For Bush's National Guard Service In Alabama In The Waning Days Of War, But If Kerry Tells Them Exotic Tales Of Covert Missions Into Cambodia Directed By Richard Nixon, They Don't Even Bother To Fact-check Who Was President In December 1968.

Why Don't Republicans Spend All Their Airtime Attacking The Media For Lying About What Obama's Amnesty Does And What The Democrats Are Doing? It's Hard To Avoid Concluding That Republicans Aren't Trying To Make The Right Arguments. In Fact, It Kind Of Looks Like They're Intentionally Throwing The Fight On Amnesty. If A Republican Majority In Both Houses Of Congress Can't Stop Obama From Issuing Illegal Immigrants Social Security Cards And Years Of Back Welfare Payments, There Is No Reason To Vote Republican Ever Again.

The Man Responsible For Keeping Americans Safe From Another Terrorist Attack On American Soil For Nearly Seven Years Now Will Go Down In History As One Of America's Greatest Presidents.

Before The New York Times Starts Running "portraits In Grief" Of Former Enron Employees, It's Worth Remembering That Even After The Collapse, Enron Stock Is Still Worth More Than The Entire Social Security "trust Fund."

Long Before There Was Discrimination Against Blacks, There Was Discrimination Against White Southerners. When Large Numbers Of These Country People Moved North During World War Ii, They Were Aggressively Excluded From Neighborhoods, Jobs, And Homes - Not Because Of Their Skin Color, But Their Accents.

It Would Be A Much Better Country If Women Did Not Vote. That Is Simply A Fact. In Fact, In Every Presidential Election Since 1950 - Except Goldwater In '64 - The Republican Would Have Won, If Only The Men Had Voted.

The Question Isn't Whether We 'need' Guns. It's Wether The Government Should Have A Monopoly On Force

Obama Said, 'now Let Me Be Clear, Issues Of Women's Equality Are By No Means Simply An Issue For Islam.' No, He Said, 'the Struggle For Women's Equality Continues In Many Aspects Of American Life.' So On One Hand, 12-year-old Girls Are Stoned To Death For The Crime Of Being Raped In Muslim Countries. But On The Other Hand, We Still Don't Have Enough Female Firefighters Here In America.

In June 2002, Airport Security Searched Al Gore. There's A Lot Not To Like About Gore, But He's Not A Terrorist. Gore Said He Was Glad He Was Searched. Why? To Spare A Terrorist The Trouble? This Is A Serious National Issue; Why Must Liberals Lie? Searching Al Gore Is Purely A Religious Act. It Is The Purposeless Fetishistic Performance Of Ritual In Accordance With The Civic Religion Of Liberalism.

Six Imams Removed From A Us Airways Flight From Minneapolis To Phoenix Are Calling On Muslims To Boycott The Airline. If Only We Could Get Muslims To Boycott All Airlines, We Could Dispense With Airport Security Altogether.

These Days, Even A Moderate Democrat Is Someone Who Thinks You Shouldn't Be Taught Fisting Until You're At Least 12 Years Old.

I Have To Say I'm All For Public Flogging. One Type Of Criminal That A Public Humiliation Might Work Particularly Well With Are The Juvenile Delinquents, A Lot Of Whom Consider It A Badge Of Honor To Be Sent To Juvenile Detention. And It Might Not Be Such A Cool Thing In The 'hood To Be Flogged Publicly.

Moderation In The Defense Of Liberty Is No Virtue.

Democrats Couldn't Care Less If People In Indiana Hate Them. But If Europeans Curl Their Lips, Liberals Can't Look At Themselves In The Mirror.

It’s Often Said That Those Who Are Unduly Bothered By Gays Are Latent Homosexuals. Isn’t It Possible That People Obsessed With Racism Are Themselves Racist.

Stem-cell Research On Embryos Is An Even Worse Excuse For The Slaughter Of Life Than Abortion. No Woman Is Even Being Spared An Inconvenience This Time.... It's Just Harvest And Slaughter, Harvest And Slaughter, Harvest And Slaughter.

We Were Terrified That Jones Would Settle. It Was Contrary To Our Purpose Of Bringing Down The President.

There's Been Another Mass Shooting By A Crazy Person, And Liberals Still Refuse To Consider Institutionalizing The Dangerously Mentally Ill.

All We Can Do Is Politely Ask Aliens From Suspect Nations To Leave ... While We Sort The Peace-loving Immigrants From The Murderous Fanatics.... Muslim Immigrants Who Agree To Spy On The Millions Of Muslim Citizens Unaffected By The Deportation Order Can Stay.

No Science Is Ever Frightening To Christians. Religious People Don't Need The Science To Come Out Any Particular Way On Iq Or Aids Or Sex Differences Any More Than They Need The Science To Come Out Any Particular Way On Evolution...if Evolution Is True, Then God Created Evolution.

...liberals Said The War Was A Failure Because We Hadn't Captured Abu Musab Al-zarqawi. Then We Killed Al-zarqawi And A Half-dozen Of His Aides In An Air Raid. Then They Said The War Was A Failure Because ... You Get The Picture.

They Spent The Night In Jail, Where Their Progressive Views On Gay Marriage Served Them Well.

No Torture Has Yet Been Devised That Could Get A Liberal To Mention The Poor, Beleaguered Kurds Dancing In The Streets Because Saddam Is Gone.

Some Jobs Are So Dirty You Can Only Send In Someone Who Has The Finely Honed Hatred Of Liberals Acquired At Elite Universities To Do Them.

The Really Amazing Part, To Me, Was When Florida Made It Into The Final Four, The Democrats Didn't Demand A Recount.

I Am Not The First To Note The Vast Differences Between The Wall Street Protesters And The Tea Partiers. To Name Three: The Tea Partiers Have Jobs, Showers And A Point.

Canada Has Become Trouble Recently ... It's Always The Worst Americans Who Go There ... We Could Have Taken Them Over So Easy. But I Only Want The Western Part, With The Ski Areas, The Cowboys, And The Right Wingers. They're The Only Good Parts Of Canada.

I'm A Problem-solver, And You're Welcome.

Problem Solvers

The Thing I Like About Bush Is I Think He Hates Liberals.

How Can Rogue Terrorists In Iraq Detonate Bombs? They're All Too Busy Flying Kites With Their Children! Hasn't [katrina Vanden Heuvel (queen Of The May At The Fun-loving Nation Magazine)] Seen Fahrenheit 9/11?

My Only Regret With Timothy Mcveigh Is He Did Not Go To The New York Times Building.

Either We're Removing A Dictator Who Currently Has Plans To Fund Terrorism Against American Citizens Or -- If Bush Is Completely Wrong And Eleanor Clift Is Completely Right -- We're Just Removing A Dictator Who Plans To Terrorize A Lot Of People In The Region, But Not Americans Specifically. Even For Someone Like Me, Who Doesn't Want America To Be The World's Policeman, The Risk Of Precipitous Action Against Saddam Hussein Doesn't Keep Me Up At Night.

If You Don't Hate Clinton And The People Who Labored To Keep Him In Office, You Don't Love Your Country.

As The Saying Goes: God Made Man And Woman; Colonel Colt Made Them Equal.

If Liberals Think They Are Losing Elections Because Of The Conservative Bias In The Media, They May As Well Give Up Right Now.

I Never Wanted To Be Famous And The Only Part I Like Is That It Means People Are Reading My Books And Listening To Me On Tv And Radio.

I Really Liked Deadheads And The Whole Dead Concert Scene: The Tailgating, The Tie-dye Uniforms, The Camaraderie It Was Like Nascar For Potheads.

We Didn't Raise This Issue, The Courts Raised It. The Courts Jammed It Down Our Throats, At The Risk Of Insulting Any Of My Gay Male Fans.

Liberals Say This Over And Over And Over Again To Hide The Actual History, Which Is Why I Go Through The Specifics On The Big Segregationists In The United States Senate, The Ones Who Signed The Southern Manifesto And The Ones Who Voted Against The 1964 Civil Rights Act. There's A Panoply Of Issues To Consider. The First Time They Objected To The Federal Government Doing Something Was When It Came To Civil Rights Legislation. This Is In Stark Contrast To The Very Few Republicans Who Voted Against The '64 Civil Rights Act.

Like The Archers Of Agincourt, John O'neal And The 254 Swiftboat Veterans Took Down Their Own Haughty Frenchman.

I Might Be In Favor Of National Healthcare If It Required All Democrats To Get Their Heads Examined.

Right Before The Civil War, Only 8% Of White People Owned Slaves. Some Plantations Would Have Hundreds And Hundreds Of Slaves, But The Vast Majority Of Whites Didn't Have Any.

Teddy Kennedy's Big New Idea Is To Wheel Out His 18th Proposal To Raise The Minimum Wage. He's Been Doing This Since Wages Were Paid In Spanish Doubloons (which Coincidentally Are Now Mostly Found Underwater). Kennedy Refuses To Countenance Any Risky Schemes Like Trying To Grow The Economy So People Making Minimum Wage Get Raises Because They've Been Promoted. Kennedy's Going Down And He's Taking The Party With Him! (recognize The Pattern?)

If You Can Somehow Force A Liberal Into A Point-counterpoint Argument, His Retorts Will Bear No Relation To What You’ve Said - Unless You Were In Fact Talking About Your Looks, Your Age, Your Weight, Your Personal Obsessions, Or Whether You Are A Fascist. In The Famous Liberal Two-step, They Leap From One Idiotic Point To The Next, So You Can Never Nail Them. It’s Like Arguing With Someone With Attention Deficit Disorder.

How About A New Game Show Called 'battle Begala?' Contestants Would Pick Any Obscure Bad Thing That Happened Anywhere In The World, And Paul Would Have 10 Seconds To Explain Why It Is President Bush's Fault.

I Think Our Party And Particularly Our Movement, The Conservative Movement, Does Have More Of A Problem With Con Men And Charlatans Than The Democratic Party. I Mean, The Incentives Seem To Be Set Up To Allow People - As Long As You Have A Band Of A Few Million Fanatical Followers, You Can Make Money. The Democrats Have Managed To Figure Out How Not To Do That.

Whether They Are Defending The Soviet Union Or Bleating For Saddam Hussein, Liberals Are Always Against America. They Are Either Traitors Or Idiots, And On The Matter Of America's Self-preservation, The Difference Is Irrelevant.

Moore's Only Concession To The Democrats' Role-playing Is To Deny That He Is A Democrat, Hoping Enough Americans Were Taught By Public School Teachers That No One Will Know How To Look Up Moore's Voter Registration Card. Democrat.

As President, Nixon Imposed Wage And Price Controls, Created The Environmental Protection Agency, Initiated Race-based Hiring Schemes, Signed Salt I With The Soviets And Instituted Rapprochement With The Red Chinese. All Of This Resulted In Liberals ... Despising Him Even More!

At Every Other Workplace In The Nation - Even Mal-mart! - Workers Are Being Laid Off. But No One At Any Of The Bloated Government Bureaucracies Ever Need Fear Receiving A Pink Slip. All 64,750 Employees At The Department Of Health And Human Services Are Apparently Absolutely Crucial To The Smooth Functioning Of The Department.

Harvard Graduates Just Cannot Shake The Idea That They Know Better Than Everyone Else What's Best For Us And That They're Capable Of Running A Mammoth, Unwieldy Government Program Providing Each One Of Us With The Precise Health Insurance We Need, At A Good Price, With No Waste Or Fraud. Trust Them, They Worked It All Out On Paper Their Junior Year.

The Only Place Al Gore Conserves Energy These Days Is On The Treadmill. I Don't Want To Suggest That Al's Getting Big, But The Last Time I Saw Him On Tv I Thought, "that Reminds Me - We Have To Do Something About Saving The Polar Bears." Never Mind His Carbon Footprint - Have You Seen The Size Of Al Gore's Regular Footprint Lately? It's Almost As Deep As Janet Reno's.

Carbon Footprint

The Fundamental Difference Is That Conservatives Think Man Is Created In God's Image. Liberals Think They [themselves] Are Gods - They Want To Create Utopia On Earth With Wealth Redistribution, Breaking The Bonds Of Marriage And Ties Between Parents And A Child.

Fittingly, In The Final Analysis, Clinton Will Not Be Remembered For What He Did As President, But For Who He Did.

I Am The Illegal Alien Of Commentary. I Will Do The Jokes That No One Else Will Do.

Liberals Are More Upset When A Tree Is Chopped Down Than When A Child Is Aborted.

If A University Official's Letter Accusing A Speaker Of Having A Proclivity To Commit Speech Crimes Before She's Given The Speech - Which Then Leads To Facebook Postings Demanding That Ann Coulter Be Hurt, A Massive Riot And A Police-ordered Cancellation Of The Speech - Is Not Hate Speech, Then There Is No Such Thing As Hate Speech.

Like So Many Liberal Icons, Marx Seldom Bathed And Left His Wife And Children In Poverty. As Schlafly Says, No Wonder Liberal Women Think Men Are Pigs: Their Men Are Pigs.

I Never Sought To Be A Pundit, Or On Tv, Or A Writer-it Just Kind Of Came To Me. If You Just Keep Doing What You Want To Do, You Wind Up Doing Precisely What You Want To Be Doing. Don't Resist How Life Bats You Around.

Doing What You Want

It's Interesting How Obama's Adorers In The Press Keep Comparing Him To Lincoln And Reagan. Apparently They Can't Think Of A Democrat President Worthy Of Being Compared To.

Liberals Hate Religion Because Politics Is A Religion Substitute For Liberals And They Can't Stand The Competition.

My Favorite Founding Fathers, Christians Like John Adams, Were Absolutely Appalled By Slavery, And Did Not Own Slaves. I Think We're Going To Have To Call On God's Grace Not Only For Slavery, But For What We're Doing Now With Abortions.

What Liberals Mean By 'goose-stepping' Or 'ethnic Cleansing' Is Generally Something Along The Lines Of 'eliminating Taxpayer Funding For The National Endowment For The Arts.' But They Can't Say That, Or People Would Realize They're Crazy.

I Was Going To Have A Few Comments On The Other Democratic Presidential Candidate, John Edwards, But It Turns Out That You Have To Go Into Rehab If You Use The Word 'faggot.'

What I'm Critical Of Is - The White House Attacking Conservatives, For Saying We're Elitist For Pointing Out That Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Sit On The Supreme Court. I'm Starting To Feel Sort Of Bad About - About Saying That. And I'm Annoyed With George Bush [jr.] For Putting Us In The Position Of Having To Say That.

We Don't Want Someone Who Will Get 98 Percent Of The Vote. We Want Someone Who Will Get 51 Percent Of The Vote.

We Have Way Too Many Lawyers, The Price For Them Has Plummeted And You Will Have A Miserable And Unsatisfying Life. Unless You Get Into Harvard Law. You Could Be In A Yurt On The Mongolian Plateau And They'll Say, "oh You Must Be Smart. You Went To Harvard Law."

Liberals Want The Family Destroyed, They Want Religion Destroned, Because Then You Have Loyalty Directly To The State.

Democrats Don't Resent The Rich On Behalf Of The Poor. They Resent The Rich On Behalf Of The Government.

According To The California Hospital Association, Health Care For Illegal Aliens Is Costing State Taxpayers Well Over $1 Billion A Year. Eighty-four Hospitals Across California Have Already Been Forced To Close Because Of Unpaid Bills By Illegal Aliens.

I Think [women] Should Be Armed But Should Not Vote ... Women Have No Capacity To Understand How Money Is Earned. They Have A Lot Of Ideas On How To Spend It ... It's Always More Money On Education, More Money On Child Care, More Money On Day Care.

That Is Obama's Signature Move: Invent People Who Are Saying Ridiculous Things And Then Encourage The Audience To Laugh At These Made-up Buffoons.

In Other Words, Under Attorney General John Ashcroft, The Fbi, The Ins And The Department Of Justice Are So Out Of Control That They Have Actually Begun To Enforce U.s. Immigration Laws.

Vietnam Is The Liberals' Favorite Was Because America Lost

Historically, The Best Way To Convert Liberals Is To Have Them Move Out Of Their Parents' Home, Get A Job, And Start Paying Taxes.

Liberals Believe In Burning The American Flag, Urinating On Crucifixes, And Passing Out Birth Control Pills To 11-year-olds Without Telling Their Parents -- But God Forbid An Infidel Touch A Quran At Guantanamo.

It Was Not Lost On Osama Bin Laden That It Only Took 18 Dead In Somalia For The Great Satan To Pull Out. It Should Not Be Lost On Americans That This Is What The Democrats Are Again Demanding We Do In Iraq.

Osama Bin Laden

Swing Voters Are More Appropriately Known As The 'idiot Voters' Because They Have No Set Of Philosophical Principles. By The Age Of Fourteen, You're Either A Conservative Or A Liberal If You Have An Iq Above A Toaster.

Taxes Are Like Abortion, And Not Just Because Both Are Grotesque Procedures Supported By Democrats. You're For Them Or Against Them. Taxes Go Up Or Down; Government Raises Taxes Or Lowers Them. But Democrats Will Not Let The Words "abortion" Or "tax Hikes" Pass Their Lips.

No Matter What Argument You Make Against Evolution, The Response Is Well, You Know, It's Possible To Believe In Evolution And Believe In God. Yes, And It's Possible To Believe In Spiderman And Believe In God, But That Doesn't Prove Spiderman Is True.

Democrats See Our Voluntary Military Supported By Taxpayer Dollars As Their Personal Salvation Army. Self-interested Behavior, Such As Deploying Troops To Serve The Nation, Is Considered Boorish In Manhattan Salons.

Already Liberals Are Trying To Rewrite The History Of The Cold War To Remove Reagan From Its Core, To Make Him A Doddering B-movie Actor Who Happened To Be Standing There When The Soviet Union Imploded. They Have The Media, The Universities, The Textbooks. We Have Ourselves. We Are The Witnesses.

Liberals Don't Have To Emerge From The Hot Tub And Start Attending Nascar Races Or - God Forbid - Church, But It Would Be Nice If They'd Stop Lying All The Time.

There's Never A Recession If You Work For The Government.

Lawyers Tend To Be Bright People. They Tend To Be-much More Than Many Journalists I've Encountered-sticklers For Detail And Accuracy, And They Have A Logical Way Of Arguing.

When We Were At Peace, Democrats Wanted To Raise Taxes. Now There's A War, So Democrats Want To Raise Taxes. When There Was A Surplus, Democrats Wanted To Raise Taxes. Now That There Is A Mild Recession, Democrats Want To Raise Taxes.

Democrats Haven't Been This Upset About An American Engaging In Free Speech Since Juanita Broaddrick Opened Her Yap.

Liberals Pretend To Believe That When Two Random Hoodlums Kill A Gay Man In Oklahoma, It's Evidence Of A National Trend, But When A Million People Buy A Book, It Proves Absolutely Nothing About The Book-buying Public.

We're Bombarded With Liberal Propaganda 24/7, From The Early Morning Shows, Hollywood Movies, Documentaries And Sitcoms, All Major Newspapers, Fashion Magazines, The Sports Pages, Public Schools, College Professors And Administrators, Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera. Unless Liberals Specifically Seek Out Ann Coulter Books And Columns, Which I Highly Recommend, Or Tune Into Fox News Or Conservative Talk Radio, They Have No Idea What Conservatives Are Thinking.

The Democrats Appear To Be The Only People Who Still Believe There Is Any Efficacy To The Un.

Liberals Compare Jerry Falwell To The Taliban, But Then Are Furious With George Bush For Not Being Jesus Christ. Evidently, What A President Is Supposed To Do When The Girls Are Scared Is Develop Complete Omniscience And Omnipotence. Thus, The Media Repeatedly Expound Upon The Proposition That What Bush Should Have Done In Response To The Anthrax Mailings Is: Instantly Produce The Culprits And Put An End To This Madness!

Reagan Took An Approach To The Cold War Dramatically Different From Any Other Us President. To Wit, He Thought We Should Win. This Was A Fresh Concept. At The Time, It Was Widely Ridiculed As A Dangerous Alteration Of Us Policy. Only After It Worked Was Reagan's Dangerous Foreign Policy Recast As Merely A Continuation Of The Policies Of His Predecessors.

The New York Times Editorial Page Is Like A Ouija Board That Has Only Three Answers, No Matter What The Question. The Answers Are: Higher Taxes, More Restrictions On Political Speech And Stricter Gun Control.

You Will Find Liberals Always Rooting For Savages Against Civilization.

Perhaps Like The Many And Various Meanings Of The Word "we," Liberals Use The Word "unsubstantiated" To Mean "tested Repeatedly And Proved True."

Liberal Soccer Moms Are Precisely As Likely To Receive Anthrax In The Mail As To Develop A Capacity For Linear Thinking.

There Is No Surer Proof Of Christ's Divinity Than That He Is Still So Hated Some Two Thousand Years After His Death.

Because Of All Our Presidents, Barack Obama Is The One Most Likely To Be Descended From A Slave Trader, Since Kenya Had A Major Slave-trading Port, And The Muslims Were Heavily Involved In The Slave Trade.

One More Item For The Delusional Miss Grundys Still Obtusely Citing Reagan As Their Model Of “niceness”: As Governor Of California, Reagan Gave Student Protesters At Berkeley The Finger. Remember That Next Time You Ask Yourself: “what Would Reagan Do?” People Who Are Afraid Of Ideas Whitewash Reagan Like They Whitewash Jesus. Sorry To Break It To You, But The Reagan Era Did Not Consist Of Eight Years Of Reagan Joking About His Naps.

I Rely Heavily On Thomas Sowell's Magnificent Book, Black Rednecks, White Liberals. He Points Out That Blacks In The North Perform Better, Academically, Than Whites In The South Where They Did Not Have Much Of An Emphasis On Learning. But Please Note That I'm Not The One Making That Argument In That Section About Michael Moore. And By The Way, I'm Not A Man. White Men Have Done A Lot. It's Silly To Write A Book Titled, Stupid White Men.

This Is The Difference Between Conservatives And Liberals. Liberals Want Justices To Vote A Certain Way. We, Conservatives, Want A Particular Legal Philosophy, A Philosophy For How To Interpret The Constitution.

Liberals Dispute That Reagan Won The Cold War On The Basis Of Their Capacity To Put Mocking Quotation Marks Around The Word, Won. That's Pretty Much The Full Argument: Restate A Factual Proposition With Sneering Quote Marks.

Quotation Marks

So Far, The Only Major Accomplishment Of The Occupy Wall Street (ows) Protesters Is That They Have Finally Put An End To Their Previous Initiative, Occupy Our Mothers' Basements.

Political Debate With Liberals Is Basically Impossible In America Today Because Liberals Are Calling Names While Conservatives Are Trying To Make Arguments.

I Think [whitewater]'s Going To Prevent The First Lady From Running For Senate.

Americans Cannot Comprehend How Their Fellow Countrymen Could Not Love Their Country. But The Left's Anti-americanism Is Intrinsic To Their Entire Worldview. Liberals Promote The Right Of Islamic Fanatics For The Same Reason They Promote The Rights Of Adulterers, Pornographers, Abortionists, Criminals, And Communists. They Instinctively Root For Anarchy Against Civilization. The Inevitable Logic Of The Liberal Position Is To Be For Treason.

Because Of The Industrialization Of Agriculture -- Using Massive Amounts Of Fossil Fuel -- Only 2 Percent Of Americans Work In Farming. And Yet They Produce Enough Food To Feed All 300 Million Americans, With Plenty Left Over For Export. When Are Liberals Going To Break The News To Their Friends In Darfur That They All Have To Starve To Death To Save The Planet?

Industrialization

I Sort Of Feel Sorry For Gays Being The Last Ones At The Sexual Revolution Window. We've Had Liberalizing Rules On Divorce. We've Had The Sexual Revolution. We've Had, You Know, The Pill, And Burning Bras And Rampant Premarital Sex And Polymorphous Perversity.

Well, Before The New Deal...[the Emancipation Proclamation] Would Be A Good Start.

Emancipation Proclamation

My Track Record Is Pretty Good On Predictions.

The Democrats Are Giving Aid And Comfort To The Enemy For No Purpose Other Than Giving Aid And Comfort To The Enemy. There Is No Plausible Explanation For The Democrats' Behavior Other Than That They Long To See U.s. Troops Shot, Humiliated, And Driven From The Field Of Battle.

Government Workers Think The Job Of Everyone Else In The Economy Is To Protect Their High Salaries, Crazy Work Rules And Obscene Pensions. They Self-righteously Lecture Us About Public Service, The Children, A 'living Wage' All In The Service Of Squeezing More Money From The Taxpayer To Fund Their Breathtakingly Selfish Job Arrangements.

There Were Precisely Two Groups Of People Who Desperately Wanted Airport Security To Be Browbeaten Into Giving Suspicious Passengers A Pass: Terrorists And Democrats.

As The Leader Of Twelve Apostles, Even Jesus Had More Executive Experience Than Obama.

I Think There Should Be A Literacy Test And A Poll Tax For People To Vote.

The Infernal Flag-waving After 9/11 Nearly Drove Liberals Out Of Their Gourds. For The Left, 'flag-waving' Is An Epithet.

In The Druidical Religion Of Liberalism, Not Separating Your Recyclables Is A Sin, But Abortion Is Just A Medical Procedure.

Just As We're Always Told That Schoolyard Bullies Are Actually Deeply Insecure, Liberals Rationalize Their Own Ferocious Behavior By Claiming To Have Been Wounded Somehow. What About The Little Guy Our Poor, Insecure Bully Is Beating The Living Daylights Out Of? How's His Self-esteem Coming Along? That Is The Essence Of Liberals: They Viciously Attack Everyone Else, While Wailing That They Are The Victims.

Everything That Liberals Want They Call A Civil Right. This Avoids Them Having To Argue About It And Puts The Halo Around The Issue.

The Not-visibly-insane Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume. In Case You Missed This Profile In Democrat Machismo, The Democratic Presidential Candidates Are Refusing To Participate In A Debate Hosted By Fox News Channel Because The Hosts Are "biased." But They'll Face Down Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! At This, Even Hillary Clinton Was Thinking, "come On, Guys - Let's Grow A Pair."

For Decades Now, The Democrats Have Had A Good Gig Buying The Votes Of Government Workers With Outrageous Salaries, Benefits And Work Rules - And Then Sticking Productive Earners With The Bill. But, Now, We're Out Of Money.

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