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Right Before The Civil War, Only 8% Of White People Owned Slaves. Some Plantations Would Have Hundreds And Hundreds Of Slaves, But The Vast Majority Of Whites Didn't Have Any.

-Ann Coulter

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Right Before The Civil

Ann Coulter

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Right Before The Civil War, Only 8% Of White People Owned Slaves. Some Plantations Would Have Hundreds And Hundreds Of Slaves, But The Vast Majority Of Whites Didn't Have Any.

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It Is An Article Of Faith With The Democrats That They Must Fool Americans By Simulating Agreement With Normal People. The Winner Of The Democratic Primary Is Always The Candidate Who Does The Best Impersonation Of An American.

Everyone Is Skeptical. Only The Media Are Not Skeptical, But, Then, They Were Also Not Skeptical When The Administration Put Out The Line That Coordinated Embassy Attacks Around The Globe On The Anniversary Of 9/11 Were Just Rowdy Movie Reviews. Numbers On A Tv Screen Won't Prevent Millions Of Americans From Noticing That They're Unemployed.

Like So Many Liberal Icons, Marx Seldom Bathed And Left His Wife And Children In Poverty. As Schlafly Says, No Wonder Liberal Women Think Men Are Pigs: Their Men Are Pigs.

If You Attack The Clintons Publicly, Make Sure All Your Friends Know That You Are Not Planning Suicide, That You're Not Careless When You Drive A Car.

Ironically, Since Obama Was Elected, For The First Time In My Life I'm Sometimes Not Proud Of My Country.

Contempt Is The Emotion We Feel For An Opponent Whose Arguments Are Too Formidable To Refute.

I Think The Government Should Be Spying On All Arabs, Engaging In Torture As A Televised Spectator Sport, Dropping Daisy Cutters Wantonly Throughout The Middle East And Sending Liberals To Guantanamo.

Democrats See Our Voluntary Military Supported By Taxpayer Dollars As Their Personal Salvation Army. Self-interested Behavior, Such As Deploying Troops To Serve The Nation, Is Considered Boorish In Manhattan Salons.

That Is The Theme Of The Million Mom March: 'i Don't Need A Brain - I've Got A Womb'.

If Liberals Were Prevented From Ever Again Calling Republicans Dumb, They Would Be Robbed Of Half Their Arguments. To Be Sure, They Would Still Have Racist, Fascist, Homophobe, Ugly, And A Few Other Highly Nuanced Arguments In The Quiver. But The Loss Of Dumb Would Nearly Cripple Them.

If You Attack Ann Coulter, You Don't End Up With Your Cat Killed Or Your Tires Slashed.

It's Impossible To Talk Without Labels. "dog" Is A Label, But That Doesn't Mean It's Meaningless, Nor Does It Mean There's No Difference In A Shih Tzu And A Doberman.

Whenever A Liberal Begins A Peevish Complaint With A Throat-clearing Equivocation Like, "of Course, We All Agree," Your Antennae Should Go Up. This Is How Liberals Couch Statements They Assume All Americans Would Demand They Make, But Which They Secretly Chafe At.

As The Titanic Losses Were Racking Up, Fannie Mae's Operators, Franklin Raines And Jamie Gorelick, Disguised The Catastrophe By Orchestrating A $5 Billion Accounting Fraud - All The While Continuing To Pressure Banks To Make Absurd, Politically Correct Loans And Denouncing Republicans As Enemies Of The Poor.

There Are Some Honorable Politicians; And God Bless Them, There Aren't Many Of Them - But They're Narcissistic. They Need People To Love Them.

I Don't Really Understand The Point About Carping About Every Casualty, Every Bombing, Every Death. War Is Hell. That's Why People Say War Is Hell.

I Think There Should Be A Literacy Test And A Poll Tax For People To Vote.

What's Curious About The Left's Current Obsession With Timothy Mcveigh Is That It Proves That - Despite A Frantic Search For 15 Years - Liberals Have Come Across No Better Evidence Of Burgeoning "right-wing Extremist" Violence Than A Drug-taking, Self-described "agnostic" Who Was Thrown Out Of The Michigan Militia And Who Proclaimed, "science Is My Religion." That Sounds More Like Bill Maher Than Rush Limbaugh.

The Not-visibly-insane Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume. In Case You Missed This Profile In Democrat Machismo, The Democratic Presidential Candidates Are Refusing To Participate In A Debate Hosted By Fox News Channel Because The Hosts Are "biased." But They'll Face Down Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! At This, Even Hillary Clinton Was Thinking, "come On, Guys - Let's Grow A Pair."

The Question Isn't Whether We 'need' Guns. It's Wether The Government Should Have A Monopoly On Force

Liberals Hate America, They Hate "flag-wavers", They Hate Abortion Opponents, They Hate All Religions Except Islam (post 9/11). Even Islamic Terrorists Don't Hate America Like Liberals Do. They Don't Have The Energy. If They Had That Much Energy, They'd Have Indoor Plumbing By Now.

In A Comprehensive Study Of All Public Multiple Shooting Incidents In America Between 1977 And 1999, Economists John Lott And Bill Landes Found That The Only Public Policy That Reduced Both The Incidence And Casualties Of Such Shootings Were Concealed-carry Laws. Not Only Are There 60 Percent Fewer Gun Massacres After States Adopt Concealed-carry Laws, But The Death And Injury Rate Of Such Rampages Are Reduced By 80 Percent.

There's Never A Recession If You Work For The Government.

Liberals Can't Just Come Out And Say, They Want To Take More Of Our Money, Kill Babies, And Discriminate On The Basis Of Race.

We Don't Want Someone Who Will Get 98 Percent Of The Vote. We Want Someone Who Will Get 51 Percent Of The Vote.

All Democrats For The Last 30 Years Have Tried To Stimulate The Economy By Giving 'tax Cuts' To People Who Don't Pay Taxes.

The Presumption Of Innocence Only Means You Don't Go Right To Jail.

Presumption Of Innocence

No Torture Has Yet Been Devised That Could Get A Liberal To Mention The Poor, Beleaguered Kurds Dancing In The Streets Because Saddam Is Gone.

We Were Terrified That Jones Would Settle. It Was Contrary To Our Purpose Of Bringing Down The President.

Everything That Liberals Want They Call A Civil Right. This Avoids Them Having To Argue About It And Puts The Halo Around The Issue.

Anyplace Market Forces Have Been Artificially Removed By The Government There Is A Total Absence Of Incentives, Competition, Effective Oversight, Cost Controls And So On.

[liberals] Think They Can Pass A Law Eliminating Guns And Nuclear Weapons, But Teenagers Having Sex Is Completely Beyond Our Control.

Democrats Are Not Angry About 9/11. Sad, Maybe - Sad That It Didn't Happen On Clinton's Watch So His Legacy Would Be More Than A Semen Stain. But They're Not Angry.

To Promote The Sales Of Gm Vehicles, Obama Says The Government Will Stand By Your Gm Car Warranty. And All The Taxpayers Will Get A Lube Job.

When Obama Boasts That It Will Be A Huge Boon To The Economy To Give Amnesty To Millions Of Low-wage Workers, Who Won't Pay Income Taxes But Will Need A Lot Of Government Services, Remember: Obamacare Was Supposed To Save Money, Too.

Britain Makes It Absolutely, Blindingly Clear That It Is Liberal Social Welfare Policies. And They Have Turned A Good Chunk Of Their Native Population Into Animals. They Are Absolute Animals. They Are Not Humans With Free Will. They Eat, They Screw, They Drink.

Frankly, I'm Getting A Lot Of Great Publicity.

But Ultimately, The Purpose Of Marriage Is To Transmit Civilization To The Next Generation. There Has Never Been An Institution That Does It As Well As Marriage, And That Is Marriage Between A Man And A Woman.

No Wonder You Guys Lost.

By 1973, John Kerry Had Already Accused American Soldiers Of Committing War Crimes In Vietnam, Thrown Someone Else's Medals To The Ground In An Anti-war Demonstration, And Married His First Heiress.

As The Leader Of Twelve Apostles, Even Jesus Had More Executive Experience Than Obama.

Some People Say I'm Really Ugly And Anorexic; Some Say The Only Reason I'm On Tv Is Because I'm Pretty. I Say To Them: Get Your Slander Straight. You Are What You Are, Whether You're Small Or Skinny Or Smart Or Dumb. Just Do What You Do.

No Science Is Ever Frightening To Christians. Religious People Don't Need The Science To Come Out Any Particular Way On Iq Or Aids Or Sex Differences Any More Than They Need The Science To Come Out Any Particular Way On Evolution...if Evolution Is True, Then God Created Evolution.

Liberals Hate Religion Because Politics Is A Religion Substitute For Liberals And They Can't Stand The Competition.

From The People Who Brought You "zero Tolerance," I Present The Gun-free Zone! Yippee! Problem Solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody Down! Hey, How Did That Deranged Loner Get A Gun Into This Gun-free Zone?

Democrats Cannot Conceive Of "hate Speech" Towards Christians Because, In Their Eyes, Christians Always Deserve It.

I've Never Seen People Enjoying Their Husbands' Deaths So Much

Democrats Should Run Mahmoud Ahmadinejad For President. He's More Coherent Than Dennis Kucinich, He Dresses Like Their Base, He's More Macho Than John Edwards, And He's Willing To Show Up At A Forum Where He Might Get One Hostile Question - Unlike The Current Democratic Candidates For President Who Won't Debate On Fox News Channel. He's Not Married To An Impeached President, And The Name Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is Surely No More Frightening Than B. Hussein Obama.

Almost Everything Wrong With Our Health Care System Comes From Government Interference With The Free Market. If The Health Care System Is Broken, Then Fix It. Don't Try To Invent A New One Premised On All The Bad Ideas That Are Causing Problems In The First Place.

If We're So Cruel To Minorities, Why Do They Keep Coming Here? Why Aren't They Sneaking Across The Mexican Border To Make Their Way To The Taliban?

My Only Regret With Timothy Mcveigh Is He Did Not Go To The New York Times Building.

Long Before There Was Discrimination Against Blacks, There Was Discrimination Against White Southerners. When Large Numbers Of These Country People Moved North During World War Ii, They Were Aggressively Excluded From Neighborhoods, Jobs, And Homes - Not Because Of Their Skin Color, But Their Accents.

One Recent Menu For Suspected Terrorists At Guantanamo Consisted Of Orange Glazed Chicken, Fresh Fruit Crepe, Steamed Peas And Mushrooms, And Rice Pilaf. Sounds Like The Sort Of Thing You'd Get At Windows On The World - If It Still Existed.

Between 1995 And 2005, The Prison Population Grew By 30 Percent, Meaning An Additional Half Million Criminals Were Behind Bars, Rather Than Lurking In Dark Alleys With Switchblades. You Can Well Imagine Liberals' Surprise When The Crime Rate Went Down As More Criminals Were Put In Prison. The New York Times Was Reduced To Running Querulous Articles With Headlines Like Number In Prison Grows Despite Crime Reduction And As Crime Rate Drops, The Prison Rate Rises And The Debate Rages.

If You Want To Find The Cool, Anti-establishment Rebels Who Don't Answer To The Man On College Campuses Today, You Have To Go To A Meeting Of The College Republicans. They Are Rebelling Against At Least 99 Percent Of Their Professors.

On One Hand, Liberals Are Enraged At The Heinousness Of Mark Sanford - Whom They Didn't Vote For - For Not Resigning And, On The Other, They're Enraged At Palin - Whom They Also Didn't Vote For - For Resigning.

Much Of The Left's Hate Speech Bears Greater Similarity To A Psychological Disorder Than To Standard Political Discourse. The Hatred Is Blinding, Producing Logical Contradictions That Would Be Impossible To Sustain Were It Not For The Central Element Faith Plays In The Left's New Religion. The Basic Tenet Of Their Faith Is This: Maybe They Were Wrong About Their Facts And Policies, But They Are Good And Conservatives Are Evil. You Almost Want To Give It To Them. It's All They Have Left.

Psychological Disorders

So For Those Of You Who Haven't Read Any Of My Five Best-selling Books: Liberals Are Driven By Satan And Lie Constantly.

Moore's Only Concession To The Democrats' Role-playing Is To Deny That He Is A Democrat, Hoping Enough Americans Were Taught By Public School Teachers That No One Will Know How To Look Up Moore's Voter Registration Card. Democrat.

The Democrats Appear To Be The Only People Who Still Believe There Is Any Efficacy To The Un.

What I'm Critical Of Is - The White House Attacking Conservatives, For Saying We're Elitist For Pointing Out That Harriet Miers Isn't Qualified To Sit On The Supreme Court. I'm Starting To Feel Sort Of Bad About - About Saying That. And I'm Annoyed With George Bush [jr.] For Putting Us In The Position Of Having To Say That.

If Americans Loved Judicial Activism, Liberals Wouldn't Be Lying About What It Is. Judicial Activism Means Making Up Constitutional Rights In Order To Strike Down Laws The Justices Don't Like Based On Their Personal Preferences. It's Not Judicial Activism To Strike Down Laws Because They Violate The Constitution.

It May Be Annoying, But The Rash Of Hijackings By Connecticut Wasp Girls Surely Explains The Time-consuming - But Still Somehow Completely Useless - Examination Of My Personal Effects. We All Have To Make Sacrifices For Airline Safety.

A Word To Those Of You Out There Who Have Yet To Be Offended By Something I Have Said: Please Be Patient. I Am Working As Fast As I Can.

The Religion That Has Transformed Western Civilization For Two Millennia Is A Blank Slate For Liberals. Their Closest Reference Point Is Conservative Christians, Meaning People You're Not Supposed To Hire. And These Are The People Who Carp About George Bush's Alleged Lack Of Intellectual Curiosity.

If We Took Away Women's Right To Vote, We'd Never Have To Worry About Another Democrat President.

You Know, Ok, I Made A Few Jokes - And They Killed 3000 Americans. Fair Trade.

Just As We're Always Told That Schoolyard Bullies Are Actually Deeply Insecure, Liberals Rationalize Their Own Ferocious Behavior By Claiming To Have Been Wounded Somehow. What About The Little Guy Our Poor, Insecure Bully Is Beating The Living Daylights Out Of? How's His Self-esteem Coming Along? That Is The Essence Of Liberals: They Viciously Attack Everyone Else, While Wailing That They Are The Victims.

Liberalism Is Part Of A Religious Disorder That Demands A Belief That Life Is Controllable.

Obviously, I'm A Fan Of Satire. I'd Debate Anyone, But It Would Have To Be The Actual Person. That Would Be My Only Hesitation About Debating Stephen Colbert. If He Were Playing A Character, It Wouldn't Really Work.

Because Of All Our Presidents, Barack Obama Is The One Most Likely To Be Descended From A Slave Trader, Since Kenya Had A Major Slave-trading Port, And The Muslims Were Heavily Involved In The Slave Trade.

Guns Are Our Friends Because In A Country Without Guns, I'm What's Known As "prey." All Females Are.

The Democrats Pretended To Care About Black People For About Five Minutes To Help Their Electoral Process, And Then Civil Rights Suddenly Became Abortion On Demand, Gay Marriage, Rights For The Homeless, Etc.

Fundamentalist Muslim Terrorists Kill Three Thousand Americans, But America Isn't Supposed To Respond, Because If We Respond, They'll Respond. We Always Hear About 'karmic Retributions' And The 'cycle Of Violence' Only After We've Been Hit.

A Cruise Missile Is More Important Than Head Start.

Already Liberals Are Trying To Rewrite The History Of The Cold War To Remove Reagan From Its Core, To Make Him A Doddering B-movie Actor Who Happened To Be Standing There When The Soviet Union Imploded. They Have The Media, The Universities, The Textbooks. We Have Ourselves. We Are The Witnesses.

The Democratic Party Supports Criminals And Islamic Terrorists But Has No Sympathy For Taxpayers.

When Contemplating A Shield That Would Protect America For Incoming Missiles, Democrats Suddenly Became Hardheaded Fiscal Conservatives. For The First Time In Recorded History, Liberals Were Concerned About The Cost And Usefulness Of A Government Program. These People Believe Federally Funded Art Therapy For The Homeless Will Pay For Itself. That You Can Take To The Bank. But A Shield To Repel Incoming Nuclear Missiles From American Soil They Said, Was Too Expensive And Wouldn't Work.

I'm Getting A Little Tired Of Politicians Trying To Prove How 'moderate' And 'centrist' They Are By Taking More Of My Money And Freedom. Where's This Center - Somewhere Between Lenin And Stalin?

My Libertarian Friends Are Probably Getting A Little Upset Now But I Think That's Because They Never Appreciate The Benefits Of Local Fascism.

Conservatives Have A Problem With Women. For That Matter, All Men Do.

Enjoy Most: The Prospect Of Having An Impact On The Public Debate. Irritating Liberals Is A Close Second.

Government Workers Think The Job Of Everyone Else In The Economy Is To Protect Their High Salaries, Crazy Work Rules And Obscene Pensions. They Self-righteously Lecture Us About Public Service, The Children, A 'living Wage' All In The Service Of Squeezing More Money From The Taxpayer To Fund Their Breathtakingly Selfish Job Arrangements.

In The Druidical Religion Of Liberalism, Not Separating Your Recyclables Is A Sin, But Abortion Is Just A Medical Procedure.

Scott Brown's Victory In Massachusetts Has Got To Have Ted Kennedy Rolling Over In His Grave, Spilling His Drink.

Before The New York Times Starts Running "portraits In Grief" Of Former Enron Employees, It's Worth Remembering That Even After The Collapse, Enron Stock Is Still Worth More Than The Entire Social Security "trust Fund."

I Think Our Party And Particularly Our Movement, The Conservative Movement, Does Have More Of A Problem With Con Men And Charlatans Than The Democratic Party. I Mean, The Incentives Seem To Be Set Up To Allow People - As Long As You Have A Band Of A Few Million Fanatical Followers, You Can Make Money. The Democrats Have Managed To Figure Out How Not To Do That.

We're Bombarded With Liberal Propaganda 24/7, From The Early Morning Shows, Hollywood Movies, Documentaries And Sitcoms, All Major Newspapers, Fashion Magazines, The Sports Pages, Public Schools, College Professors And Administrators, Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera. Unless Liberals Specifically Seek Out Ann Coulter Books And Columns, Which I Highly Recommend, Or Tune Into Fox News Or Conservative Talk Radio, They Have No Idea What Conservatives Are Thinking.

I Am Emboldened By My Looks To Say Things Republican Men Wouldn't.

The Man Responsible For Keeping Americans Safe From Another Terrorist Attack On American Soil For Nearly Seven Years Now Will Go Down In History As One Of America's Greatest Presidents.

Diversity" Is A Difficulty To Be Overcome, Not An Advantage To Be Sought. True, America Does A Better Job Than Most At Accommodating A Diverse Population. We Also Do A Better Job At Curing Cancer And Containing Pollution. But No One Goes Around Mindlessly Exclaiming: "cancer Is A Strength!" "pollution Is Our Greatest Asset!

I'm More Of A Man Than Any Liberal.

Fittingly, In The Final Analysis, Clinton Will Not Be Remembered For What He Did As President, But For Who He Did.

I'd Pretty Much Debate Anybody. I Prefer To Debate Smart Liberals. I'm Not Saying This About Stephen Colbert But, Unfortunately, The Most Famous Liberals Generally Aren't The Smartest Ones. I Have A List Of The Smarter Liberals I Recommend.

In California, The Fabulously Rich Support The Poor With Government Jobs, Paid For By The Middle Class Which Is Now Living In Arizona.

I Love To Engage In Repartee With People Who Are Stupider Than I Am.

Liberals Are More Upset When A Tree Is Chopped Down Than When A Child Is Aborted.

The Most We Can Hope For Is Strong Marriages. Married Women Vote Republican; Single Women Vote Democratic.

Cbs Is Planning A Tribute To Dan Rather... The Memo Went Out A Month Ago But Everyone Assumed It Was A Fake.

I Would Like Evolution To Join The Roster Of Other Discredited Religions...

I Rely Heavily On Thomas Sowell's Magnificent Book, Black Rednecks, White Liberals. He Points Out That Blacks In The North Perform Better, Academically, Than Whites In The South Where They Did Not Have Much Of An Emphasis On Learning. But Please Note That I'm Not The One Making That Argument In That Section About Michael Moore. And By The Way, I'm Not A Man. White Men Have Done A Lot. It's Silly To Write A Book Titled, Stupid White Men.

It Would Be A Much Better Country If Women Did Not Vote. That Is Simply A Fact. In Fact, In Every Presidential Election Since 1950 - Except Goldwater In '64 - The Republican Would Have Won, If Only The Men Had Voted.

I Think [women] Should Be Armed But Should Not Vote ... Women Have No Capacity To Understand How Money Is Earned. They Have A Lot Of Ideas On How To Spend It ... It's Always More Money On Education, More Money On Child Care, More Money On Day Care.

The Portrayal Of Senator Joe Mccarthy As A Wild-eyed Demagogue Destroying Innocent Lives Is Sheer Liberal Hobgoblinism. Liberals Weren't Cowering In Fear During The Mccarthy Era. They Were Systematically Undermining The Nation's Ability To Defend Itself While Waging A Bellicose Campaign Of Lies To Blacken Mccarthy's Name. Everything You Think You Know About Mccarthy Is A Hegemonic Lie. Liberals Denounced Mccarthy Because They Were Afraid Of Getting Caught, So They Fought Back Like Animals To Hide Their Own Collaboration With A Regime As Evil As The Nazis.

It's Really Hard To Be A Black Republican. I See What They Go Through. It's A Good Little Trick The Entire Mainstream Media Has Pulled By Describing Republicans As "racist! Racist! Racist!" And Then Turning Around And Laughing At Us For Not Having More Blacks In Our Party.

Republicans Are Afraid To Act In Accordance With The Election Results. Republicans Seem To Be In Denial About Election Results. It's One Thing For Democrats To Be In Denial About The Republican Electoral Juggernaut, But It's Strange That Republicans Are In Denial About It Too.

Election Results

How About A New Game Show Called 'battle Begala?' Contestants Would Pick Any Obscure Bad Thing That Happened Anywhere In The World, And Paul Would Have 10 Seconds To Explain Why It Is President Bush's Fault.

The Tolerant Liberal Suddenly Becomes Very Intolerant When Their Official Religion Is Challenged.

Who's Gonna Give Me A Tv Show? I Didn't Work For An Impeached, Disbarred President Who Was Held In Contempt By A Federal Judge. That's What They Look For In Objective Reporters.

At Least When Right-wingers Rant There's A Point.

If We Had Complete Knowledge, You Wouldn't Need Any Intelligence Gathering Whatsoever. The President Isn't God. We Do Have Intelligence Gathering.

Intelligence Gathering

Do You Know What Christianity Is? We Believe Your Religion [judaism], But You [jews] Have To Obey.

Looking At The Line-up Of Speakers At The (democratic National) Convention, I Have Developed The 7-11 Challenge: I Will Quit Making Fun Of, For Example, Dennis Kucinich, If He Can Prove He Can Run A 7-11 Properly For 8 Hours. We'll Even Let Him Have An Hour Or So Of Preparation Before We Open Up. Within 8 Hours, The Money Will Be Gone, The Store Will Be Empty, And He'll Be Explaining How Three 11-year Olds Came In And Asked For The Money And He Gave It To Them.

The Reason Any Conservative's Failing Is Always Major News Is That It Allows Liberals To Engage In Their Very Favorite Taunt: Hypocrisy! Hypocrisy Is The Only Sin That Really Inflames Them. Inasmuch As Liberals Have No Morals, They Can Sit Back And Criticize Other People For Failing To Meet The Standards That Liberals Simply Renounce. It's An Intriguing Strategy. By Openly Admitting To Being Philanderers, Draft Dodgers, Liars, Weasels And Cowards, Liberals Avoid Ever Being Hypocrites.

These Days, Even A Moderate Democrat Is Someone Who Thinks You Shouldn't Be Taught Fisting Until You're At Least 12 Years Old.

Obama Said, 'now Let Me Be Clear, Issues Of Women's Equality Are By No Means Simply An Issue For Islam.' No, He Said, 'the Struggle For Women's Equality Continues In Many Aspects Of American Life.' So On One Hand, 12-year-old Girls Are Stoned To Death For The Crime Of Being Raped In Muslim Countries. But On The Other Hand, We Still Don't Have Enough Female Firefighters Here In America.

Liberals Become Indignant When You Question Their Patriotism, But Simultaneously Work Overtime To Give Terrorists A Cushion For The Next Attack And Laugh At Dumb Americans Who Love Their Country And Hate The Enemy.

The Idea That Making An Activity Legal Would Reduce Its Incidence Is Preposterous. This Is Exactly Like The Clintonian Statement About Wanting To Make Abortion 'safe, Legal And Rare.' The Most Effective Way To Make Something 'rare' Is To Make It Illegal.

The Most Crazed Religious Fanatic Argues In More Calm And Reasoned Tones Than Liberals Responding To Statistics On Concealed-carry Permits.

For Decades Now, [fuller] Torrey Has Been Warning America What Would Happen If The Dangerously Mentally Ill Were Deinstitutionalized, And It's All Come True. Today, The Only Place We Can Put Mental Patients Is On Msnbc.

Liberals Believe In Burning The American Flag, Urinating On Crucifixes, And Passing Out Birth Control Pills To 11-year-olds Without Telling Their Parents -- But God Forbid An Infidel Touch A Quran At Guantanamo.

Listening To Liberals Invoke The Sanctity Of "science" To Promote Their Crackpot Ideas Creates The Same Uneasy Feeling As Listening To Bill Clinton Cite Scripture.

If I'm Going To Say Anything About John Edwards In The Future, I'll Just Wish He Had Been Killed In A Terrorist Assassination Plot.

We've Finally Given Liberals A War Against Fundamentalism, And They Don't Want To Fight It. They Would, Except It Would Put Them On The Same Side As The United States.

We Have Way Too Many Lawyers, The Price For Them Has Plummeted And You Will Have A Miserable And Unsatisfying Life. Unless You Get Into Harvard Law. You Could Be In A Yurt On The Mongolian Plateau And They'll Say, "oh You Must Be Smart. You Went To Harvard Law."

Canada Has Become Trouble Recently ... It's Always The Worst Americans Who Go There ... We Could Have Taken Them Over So Easy. But I Only Want The Western Part, With The Ski Areas, The Cowboys, And The Right Wingers. They're The Only Good Parts Of Canada.

Gays (homosexuals) Usually Bring Up The Argument About All The Straight Couples Living In 'sham' Marriages, But I See No Point In Dragging The Clintons Into This

Judging By Their Positions At The Time, Rather Than Their Post Hoc Allegations, Democrats Adored The Soviet Union. Congressional Democrats Repeatedly Opposed Funding Anti-communist Rebels, They Opposed Reagan's Military Build-up, They Opposed Building A Shield To Protect America From Incoming Missiles, They Opposed Putting Missiles In Europe. As A Rule, Democrats Opposed Anything Opposed By Their Cherished Soviet Union.

Liberals Could Live Their Whole Lives Never Having To Hear An Actual Conservative Opinion Other Than The Idiotic Arguments Written For Conservative Characters On Aaron Sorkin's Little Teleplays.

It Is Puzzling Why Anyone Would Want To (become Governor Of California). It's Like Vying To Become Roseanne Barr's Next Husband. Sure You'd Get Your Name In The Paper, But Look At The Mess You'd Be Getting Yourself Into.

Weirdly Enough, The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Black People In The Last Twenty Or Thirty Years Was The O.j. Simpson Verdict Because It Shut Down The White Guilt Bank. And White Guilt Has Never Led To Anything Good. It's Brought Us Spiraling Crime Rates, Mostly With Black Victims, And A Permanent Underclass Living In Public Housing Projects. For Years, Liberals Cried That "law And Order" And "welfare Reform" Were Racist Code Words.

Liberals Claim To Love Gays When It Allows Them To Vent Their Spleen At Republicans. But Disagree With Liberals And Their First Response Is To Call You Gay. Liberals Are Gays' Biggest Champions On Issues Most Gays Couldn't Care Less About, Like Gay Marriage Or Taxpayer Funding Of Photos Of Men With Bullwhips Up Their Derrieres. But Who Has Done More To Out, Embarrass, And Destroy The Lives Of Gay Men Who Prefer To Keep Their Orientation Private Than Democrats? Who Is More Intolerant Of Gays In The Republican Party Than Gays In The Democratic Party?

There Is No Surer Proof Of Christ's Divinity Than That He Is Still So Hated Some Two Thousand Years After His Death.

Liberals Have Managed To Eliminate The Idea Of Manly Honor. Instead, All They Have Is Womanly Indignation.

We Just Want Jews To Be Perfected, As They Say.

The Only Sexism Involved In The Miers Nomination Is The Administration's Claim That Once They Decided They Wanted A Woman, Miers Was The Best They Could Do. Let Me Just Say, If The Top Male Lawyer In The Country Is John Roberts And The Top Female Lawyer Is Harriet Miers, We May As Well Stop Allowing Girls To Go To Law School.

We Didn't Raise This Issue, The Courts Raised It. The Courts Jammed It Down Our Throats, At The Risk Of Insulting Any Of My Gay Male Fans.

The Spirit Of The First Amendment Has Been Effectively Repealed For Conservative Speech By A Censorious, Accusatory Mob.

If Colleges Wanted To Admit Only Legacies, Or Only Tuba Players, Or Only People Who Got Astonishingly Low Sat Scores ' To Ensure Some Of Their Graduates Would Be U.s. Senators One Day ' The Constitution Wouldn't Stop Them. What The States, Including State Colleges, Cannot Do Under The Constitution Is Discriminate On The Basis Of Race.

The Idea Of A Bowed And Terrified Liberal Minority During Mccarthy's 'reign Of Terror' Is Poppycock. Then As Now, All Elite Opinion Was Against Mccarthy.

There Is No More A 'political Middle' Than There Is A Family In America With 2.3 Children. People With Opinions Take Sides. Contrary To What You've Heard, It's Actually More Important To Stand For Something Than It Is For Everybody To 'just Get Along'.

The Nonsense About President Obama Being A Muslim Has Got To Stop. I Rise To Defend Him From This Absurd Accusation By Pointing Out That He Is Obviously An Atheist.

The Left’s Idea Of “science” Is That We Should All Be Riding Bicycles And Using The Clivus Multrum Composting Latrines Instead Of Flush Toilets. Anyone Who Dissents, They Say — While Adjusting Their Healing Crystals For Emphasis — Is “afraid Of Science.”

Only A War That Serves No Conceivable National Interest Gets The New York Time's Endorsement. Liberals Warm To The Idea Of American Mothers Weeping For Their Sons, But Only If Their Deaths Will Not Make America Any Safer.

[m]ore Americans Work For Federal, State Or Local Government Than Work In Any Form Of Manufacturing. We Crossed That Rubicon About 10 Years Ago.

I Am The Illegal Alien Of Commentary. I Will Do The Jokes That No One Else Will Do.

I Think There Are More Transgendered In America Than There Are People Who Worry About The Comfort And Security Who Broke In Our Country Illegally, Who Are Living Here Illegally, Are Taking Jobs Illegally, How Quickly It Moves Doesn't Really Matter.

Once Man's Connection To The Divine Is Denied, You Can Reason Yourself From Here To Anywhere.

When Every One Of Your Arguments Is Characterized An Attempt To Bring Back Slavery Or Resegregate Lunch Counters, It's A Little Hard To Have Any Sort Of Productive Debate.

I'm Thinking Of Writing A Book On National Health Care. It Will Be 2,000 Pages, And You'll Have Two Hours To Read It.

Walking Back From The Convention Site I Chatted With A Normal Bostonian For Several Blocks -- Who Must Have Identified Me Through Our Covert System Of Signals. He Was Mostly Bemused By The Democrats' Primetime Speakers And Told Me He Used To Be An Independent, But For The Last 20 Years Found Himself Voting Mostly Republican. Then He Corrected Himself And Said He Votes For The American.

The Fact That A Republican Is In The Late Senator Kennedy's Old Seat Probably Must Have Him Rolling In His Grave, Probably Spilling His Drink.

If A University Official's Letter Accusing A Speaker Of Having A Proclivity To Commit Speech Crimes Before She's Given The Speech - Which Then Leads To Facebook Postings Demanding That Ann Coulter Be Hurt, A Massive Riot And A Police-ordered Cancellation Of The Speech - Is Not Hate Speech, Then There Is No Such Thing As Hate Speech.

The Only Beef Enron Employees Have With Top Management Is That Management Did Not Inform Employees Of The Collapse In Time To Allow Them To Get In On The Swindle. If Enron Executives Had Shouted, "head For The Hills!" The Employees Might Have Had Time To Sucker Other Americans Into Buying Wildly Over-inflated Enron Stock. Just Because Your Boss Is A Criminal Doesn't Make You A Hero.

Liberals Are Stalwart Defenders Of Civil Liberties - Provided We're Only Talking About Criminals.

For Years, Mount Holyoke Professor Joseph 'full Metal Jacket' Ellis Had Been Regaling Students, Interviewers And Friends With Gripping Stories Of His Service In Vietnam.

Liberals Dispute That Reagan Won The Cold War On The Basis Of Their Capacity To Put Mocking Quotation Marks Around The Word, Won. That's Pretty Much The Full Argument: Restate A Factual Proposition With Sneering Quote Marks.

Quotation Marks

There Is A Growing Body Of Evidence That Radiation In Excess Of What The Government Says Are The Minimum Amounts We Should Be Exposed To Are Actually Good For You And Reduce Cases Of Cancer.

When A Feminist As Strident As Garofalo Is Defending The Hussein Regime, You Have To Wonder If Her Newfound Sobriety Has Hit A Rough Patch.

A Married Woman, The Safest Place For Any Woman To Be Is At Home With Her Husband.

In The Spirit Of Reaching Across The Aisle, We Owe It To The Democrats To Show Their President The Exact Same Kind Of Respect And Loyalty That They Have Shown Our Recent Republican President.

The New York Times Editorial Page Is Like A Ouija Board That Has Only Three Answers, No Matter What The Question. The Answers Are: Higher Taxes, More Restrictions On Political Speech And Stricter Gun Control.

I'm Getting A Little Fed Up With Hearing About, Oh, Civilian Casualties. I Think We Ought To Nuke North Korea Right Now Just To Give The Rest Of The World A Warning.

What I And Other Commentators Do Is Attempt To Move The Public Opinion. We Try To Change Minds.

I Am Not The First To Note The Vast Differences Between The Wall Street Protesters And The Tea Partiers. To Name Three: The Tea Partiers Have Jobs, Showers And A Point.

It's Just Like A Liberal, They Import Slaves, They Hold Slaves, They Fight For Slavery, They Go To War In A Civil War To Defend Slavery. They Then Install Legal Discrimination Against Blacks For A Hundred Years.

Democrats Are Firm Believers In The Welfare State For Their Own Constituents, Whether That's A Crack Addict Mother Of Five Or A Wall Street Banker.

The Really Amazing Part, To Me, Was When Florida Made It Into The Final Four, The Democrats Didn't Demand A Recount.

I Cut Through The Nonsense With The Blinding Light Of Truth.

Democrats Haven't Been This Upset About An American Engaging In Free Speech Since Juanita Broaddrick Opened Her Yap.

Instead Of Seeking Wisdom, Liberals Desire To Be Seen As Clever By Being Counterintuitive, Crazy, And Outre.

I'm Against Reparations. At This Point, Blacks Should Just Be Handing Money To Themselves.

The Democrats Have No Actual Policy Proposals Of Their Own Unless Constant Carping Counts As A Policy.

There's Been Another Mass Shooting By A Crazy Person, And Liberals Still Refuse To Consider Institutionalizing The Dangerously Mentally Ill.

So I Think All Gays Who Are Born Gay Are Overwhelming Conservative, Maybe Apolitical, And All Those Angry Gays, Causing Trouble For Everybody, I Don't Think They Were Born Gay. I Think They Are Just Angry At Their Fathers.

In Response To Skyrocketing Gas Prices, Liberals Say, Practically In Unison, 'we Can't Drill Our Way Out Of This Crisis.' What Does That Mean? This Is Like Telling A Starving Man, 'you Can't Eat Your Way Out Of Being Hungry!' 'you Can't Water Your Way Out Of Drought!' 'you Can't Sleep Your Way Out Of Tiredness!' 'you Can't Drink Yourself Out Of Dehydration!' Seriously, What Does It Mean? Finding More Oil Isn't Going To Increase The Supply Of Oil? It Is The Typical Democratic Strategy To Babble Meaningless Slogans, As If They Have A Plan. Their Plan Is: The Permanent Twilight Of The Human Race.

Moderation In The Defense Of Liberty Is No Virtue.

This Is The Way Addled Liberals Really Think. Even As They Champion Sucking The Brains Out Of Little Babies, They Think Of Themselves As Indelibly Compassionate Because They Favor An Overweening, Behemoth Federal Government.

Hollywood Liberals Could Not Be Reached For Comment On The Cost Of The Inauguration Because They Were Being Fitted For Gowns And Jewelry Worth Millions Of Dollars In Anticipation Of Oscar Night.

Marriage Is Under Attack From So Many Different Areas. There Should Be Benefits Associated With Married People. Life Is Unfair. Maybe You Won't Find The Right Person And You Won't End Up Getting Married. Oh, Well, Life Is Unfair. But Married People, Because Of Their Capacity To Have Children, Even If They're Not Going To End Up Having Children, Even If They're Unable To Bear Children, Marriage Is An Institution That Is Absolutely Central To Civilization.

The Episcopalians Don't Demand Much In The Way Of Actual Religious Belief. They Have Girl Priests, Gay Priests, Gay Bishops, Gay Marriages? It's Much Like The New York Times Editorial Board. They Acknowledge The Ten Commandments? Or "moses' Talking Points"? But Hasten To Add That They're Not Exactly "carved In Stone."

Liberals Don't Mind Discussing Who Is More Patriotic If Patriotism Is Defined As Redistributing Income And Vetoing The Pledge Of Allegiance. Only If Patriotism Is Defined As Supporting America Do They Get Testy And Drone On About 'mccarthyism.'

Like The Archers Of Agincourt, John O'neal And The 254 Swiftboat Veterans Took Down Their Own Haughty Frenchman.

Yet, When Republicans Were Finally Able To Push Through Tough Policies On Crime And Welfare Which They'd Supported For Decades, They Were Magnificent Successes For The Entire Country, But Especially For Black People. Release Us, And Great Things Will Happen!

I Defy Any Of My Coreligionists To Tell Me They Do Not Laugh At The Idea Of Dawkins Burning In Hell.

Swing Voters Are More Appropriately Known As The 'idiot Voters' Because They Have No Set Of Philosophical Principles. By The Age Of Fourteen, You're Either A Conservative Or A Liberal If You Have An Iq Above A Toaster.

Anorexics Never Have Boyfriends. ... That's One Way To Know You Don't Have Anorexia, If You Have A Boyfriend.

If Liberals Think Iraqis Are Genetically Incapable Of Pulling Off Even The Most Rudimentary Form Of Democracy, Why Do They Believe 50 Million Mexicans Will Magically Become Good Americans, Imbued In The Nation's History And Culture, Upon Crossing The Rio Grande? Maybe We Should Dunk Iraqis In The Rio And See What Happens.

Liberals Despise The Rule Of Law Because It Interferes With Their Ability To Rule By Mob. They Love To Portray Themselves As The Weak Taking On The Powerful. But It Is The Least Powerful Who Suffer The Most Once The Rule Of Law Is Gone.

'moderate Republican' Is Simply How The Blabocracy Flatters Republicans Who Vote With The Democrats. If It Weren't So Conspicuous, The 'new York Times' Would Start Referring To 'nice Republicans' And 'mean Republicans'

Liberals Go Straight To Ugly Racist Stereotypes When Attacking Conservative Blacks, Calling Them Oversexualized, Stupid And/or Incompetent.

If Any Other Religious Cult Knew So Few Basic Facts About Its Own Seminal Beliefs As The Liberal Cult Does About Joe Mccarthy, Janet Reno Would Gas Them.

The Most Dangerous Action A Woman Can Take When Faced With A Criminal Is To Resist With Her Fists: That Tends To Annoy Violent Criminals, And The Woman Will Very Likely Be Seriously Injured. But A Woman Who Takes The Advice Of Handgun Control Inc. And Passively Submits Is 2.5 Times More Likely To Be Injured Than A Woman Who Resists With A Gun. So If You Don't Want To Lie Back And Enjoy It, Get A Gun. Otherwise You May Never Become A Mom.

Words Mean Nothing To Liberals. They Say Whatever Will Help Advance Their Cause At The Moment, Switch Talking Points In A Heartbeat, And Then Act Indignant If Anyone Uses The Exact Same Argument They Were Using Five Minutes Ago.

You Will Find Liberals Always Rooting For Savages Against Civilization.

Liberals Pretend To Believe That When Two Random Hoodlums Kill A Gay Man In Oklahoma, It's Evidence Of A National Trend, But When A Million People Buy A Book, It Proves Absolutely Nothing About The Book-buying Public.

The Only Question I'd Be Interested In Is What Books Other Celebrities Have Read Recently, Which Is Part Of My Campaign To Promote Reading.

If You Don't Hate Clinton And The People Who Labored To Keep Him In Office, You Don't Love Your Country.

Taxes Are Like Abortion, And Not Just Because Both Are Grotesque Procedures Supported By Democrats. You're For Them Or Against Them. Taxes Go Up Or Down; Government Raises Taxes Or Lowers Them. But Democrats Will Not Let The Words "abortion" Or "tax Hikes" Pass Their Lips.

Here's A Foolproof Method For Keeping America Safe. Always Do The Exact 180-degree Opposite Of Whatever [jimmy] Carter Says, As Quickly As Possible.

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