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The Afghan "negotiation Phase" Immediately Precedes The Traditional Afghan "surrender Phase." This Entails The Following: The Defeated Party Surrenders And Then Comes Out Shooting. This Is Repeated Several Times. Finally, The Vanquished Party Runs Out Of Ammunition And Is Forced To Surrender ' But Seriously This Time ' At Which Point The Victors Kill The Foreigners And Hug Their Fellow Afghans Like Long-lost Brothers.

-Ann Coulter

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The Afghan "negotiation Phase"

Ann Coulter

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The Afghan "negotiation Phase" Immediately Precedes The Traditional Afghan "surrender Phase." This Entails The Following: The Defeated Party Surrenders And Then Comes Out Shooting. This Is Repeated Several Times. Finally, The Vanquished Party Runs Out Of Ammunition And Is Forced To Surrender ' But Seriously This Time ' At Which Point The Victors Kill The Foreigners And Hug Their Fellow Afghans Like Long-lost Brothers.

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I'm Getting A Little Tired Of Politicians Trying To Prove How 'moderate' And 'centrist' They Are By Taking More Of My Money And Freedom. Where's This Center - Somewhere Between Lenin And Stalin?

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Hiding Something

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American Military

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Nbc's The West Wing Is An Icon For Bad Stories; Gitmo Is A Place Where We Keep An Eye On Evil, Dangerous People Who Want To Kill Us.

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Liberals Tell Amazing Lies About Guns And Everything Else.

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Women Like Pamela Harriman And Patricia Duff Are Basically Anna Nicole Smith From The Waist Down. Let's Just Call It For What It Is. They're Whores.

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Faggot Isn't Offensive To Gays; It's Got Nothing To Do With Gays.

Moore's Only Concession To The Democrats' Role-playing Is To Deny That He Is A Democrat, Hoping Enough Americans Were Taught By Public School Teachers That No One Will Know How To Look Up Moore's Voter Registration Card. Democrat.

My Libertarian Friends Are Probably Getting A Little Upset Now But I Think That's Because They Never Appreciate The Benefits Of Local Fascism.

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Emancipation Proclamation

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Election Results

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Industrialization

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I Don't Think I Have An Unkind Word For Any.except Muslims. I've Been Cross With Them Since 9/11 2001. I Can't Remember Why But It Was Something Bad.

A Cruise Missile Is More Important Than Head Start.

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College Campuses Have Become Fascist Colonies Of Anti-american Hate Speech, Hypersensitivity, Speech Codes, Banded Words And Prohibited Scientific Inquiry.

Once Man's Connection To The Divine Is Denied, You Can Reason Yourself From Here To Anywhere.

In The Spirit Of Reaching Across The Aisle, We Owe It To The Democrats To Show Their President The Exact Same Kind Of Respect And Loyalty That They Have Shown Our Recent Republican President.

A Married Woman, The Safest Place For Any Woman To Be Is At Home With Her Husband.

Why Not Go To War Just For Oil? We Need Oil. What Do Hollywood Celebrities Imagine Fuels Their Private Jets? How Do They Think Their Cocaine Is Delivered To Them?

There Is A Growing Body Of Evidence That Radiation In Excess Of What The Government Says Are The Minimum Amounts We Should Be Exposed To Are Actually Good For You And Reduce Cases Of Cancer.

So Now It Turns Out That Thomas Jefferson Was Having Sex With Sally Hemings While Serving In The 101st Airborne During The Vietnam War.

To Promote The Sales Of Gm Vehicles, Obama Says The Government Will Stand By Your Gm Car Warranty. And All The Taxpayers Will Get A Lube Job.

Liberals Become Indignant When You Question Their Patriotism, But Simultaneously Work Overtime To Give Terrorists A Cushion For The Next Attack And Laugh At Dumb Americans Who Love Their Country And Hate The Enemy.

When Your Party Is Controlled By A Billionaire Rootless International Financier Who Expresses 'no Sense Of Guilt' For Collaborating With The Nazis, You Might Want To Ease Up On Lecturing The Rest Of Us About The Evil Rich.

Although God Believers Don't Need Evolution To Be False, Atheists Need Evolution To Be True.

I Would Rank George Washington As America's Greatest President, But He Only Had To Defeat What Was Then The World's Greatest Military Power With A Ragtag Group Of Irregulars And Some Squirrel Guns, Whereas Ronald Reagan Had To Defeat Liberals.

We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

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I Am The Illegal Alien Of Commentary. I Will Do The Jokes That No One Else Will Do.

Why Couldn't Obama Have Picked Somebody Respectable As His Running Mate, You Know, Like John Kerry Did?

The Not-visibly-insane Democrats All Claim They'll Get Rough With The Terrorists, But They Can't Even Face Brit Hume. In Case You Missed This Profile In Democrat Machismo, The Democratic Presidential Candidates Are Refusing To Participate In A Debate Hosted By Fox News Channel Because The Hosts Are "biased." But They'll Face Down Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! At This, Even Hillary Clinton Was Thinking, "come On, Guys - Let's Grow A Pair."

You Will Find Liberals Always Rooting For Savages Against Civilization.

All Of These Riots Around The Globe Are Endangering The World. And Mobs Are Always Dangerous, Destructive Things That End Society. Liberal Policies Promote Mobs Because Liberals Crawl On The Mobs, The Destruction Wrought By The Mobs To Attain Power. Tere's Only One Way To React To A Mob To Save Civilized Society, And That Is To Smash The Mob. It Is Not To Mollycoddle The Mob.

...sean Penn Claimed To Be 'serv[ing] The Country' By Giving Aid And Comfort To An Enemy About To Be Attacked By The Us. He Said It Made Him Feel More Patriotic To Dissent From The War Aims Of His Nation. It Is At Least A Counterintuitive Position. Most People Would Not Instantly Grasp How It Is More Patriotic To Always Root Against America. White Supremacists Should Try Claiming That Burning Crosses Is More Supportive Of Civil Rights Than Not Burning Them.

I Highly Approve Of Romney's Decision To Be Kind And Gentle To The Retard.

Either We're Removing A Dictator Who Currently Has Plans To Fund Terrorism Against American Citizens Or -- If Bush Is Completely Wrong And Eleanor Clift Is Completely Right -- We're Just Removing A Dictator Who Plans To Terrorize A Lot Of People In The Region, But Not Americans Specifically. Even For Someone Like Me, Who Doesn't Want America To Be The World's Policeman, The Risk Of Precipitous Action Against Saddam Hussein Doesn't Keep Me Up At Night.

Since Liberals Never Print Retractions, They Can Say Anything. What They Said In The Past Is Always Deemed Inadmissible And Unfair To Quote.

Much Of The Left's Hate Speech Bears Greater Similarity To A Psychological Disorder Than To Standard Political Discourse. The Hatred Is Blinding, Producing Logical Contradictions That Would Be Impossible To Sustain Were It Not For The Central Element Faith Plays In The Left's New Religion. The Basic Tenet Of Their Faith Is This: Maybe They Were Wrong About Their Facts And Policies, But They Are Good And Conservatives Are Evil. You Almost Want To Give It To Them. It's All They Have Left.

Psychological Disorders

If John Kerry Had A Dollar For Every Time He Bragged About Serving In Vietnam - Oh Wait, He Does.

[the Media's] Fantasy Of An America Bristling With Racists Allows Them To Portray Any Criticism Of Our Massively Incompetent And Dangerous President As Just Another Sad Episode Of Oh-so-typical White Racism.

When Contemplating A Shield That Would Protect America For Incoming Missiles, Democrats Suddenly Became Hardheaded Fiscal Conservatives. For The First Time In Recorded History, Liberals Were Concerned About The Cost And Usefulness Of A Government Program. These People Believe Federally Funded Art Therapy For The Homeless Will Pay For Itself. That You Can Take To The Bank. But A Shield To Repel Incoming Nuclear Missiles From American Soil They Said, Was Too Expensive And Wouldn't Work.

The Most Crazed Religious Fanatic Argues In More Calm And Reasoned Tones Than Liberals Responding To Statistics On Concealed-carry Permits.

Harvard Graduates Just Cannot Shake The Idea That They Know Better Than Everyone Else What's Best For Us And That They're Capable Of Running A Mammoth, Unwieldy Government Program Providing Each One Of Us With The Precise Health Insurance We Need, At A Good Price, With No Waste Or Fraud. Trust Them, They Worked It All Out On Paper Their Junior Year.

If Liberals Think They Are Losing Elections Because Of The Conservative Bias In The Media, They May As Well Give Up Right Now.

[m]ore Americans Work For Federal, State Or Local Government Than Work In Any Form Of Manufacturing. We Crossed That Rubicon About 10 Years Ago.

Government Workers Think The Job Of Everyone Else In The Economy Is To Protect Their High Salaries, Crazy Work Rules And Obscene Pensions. They Self-righteously Lecture Us About Public Service, The Children, A 'living Wage' All In The Service Of Squeezing More Money From The Taxpayer To Fund Their Breathtakingly Selfish Job Arrangements.

While The Form Of Treachery Varies Slightly From Case To Case, Liberals Always Manage To Take The Position That Most Undermines American Security.

I'm More Of A Man Than Any Liberal.

For Decades Now, The Democrats Have Had A Good Gig Buying The Votes Of Government Workers With Outrageous Salaries, Benefits And Work Rules - And Then Sticking Productive Earners With The Bill. But, Now, We're Out Of Money.

Do You Know What Christianity Is? We Believe Your Religion [judaism], But You [jews] Have To Obey.

No Matter What Argument You Make Against Evolution, The Response Is Well, You Know, It's Possible To Believe In Evolution And Believe In God. Yes, And It's Possible To Believe In Spiderman And Believe In God, But That Doesn't Prove Spiderman Is True.

Obamacare Would Never Have Passed Without Decades Of Massive Immigration From The Third World. Liberals Didn't Change Any Minds - They Changed The Voters.

A False Argument Should Be Refuted, Not Named. That's The Basic Idea Behind Freedom Of Speech. Arguments By Name-calling, Rather Than Truth And Light, Can Generally Be Presumed Fraudulent.

Gore Said Foreigners Are Not Worried About 'what The Terrorist Networks Are Going To Do, But About What We're Going To Do.' Good. They Should Be Worried. They Hate Us? We Hate Them. Americans Don't Want To Make Islamic Fanatics Love Us. We Want To Make Them Die. There's Nothing Like Horrendous Physical Pain To Quell Anger. Japanese Kamikazes Pilots Hated Us Once, Too. A Couple Of Well-aimed Nuclear Weapons Got Their Attention. Now They Are Gentle Little Lambs.

Most People In The Tea Party Are Nice, But That Hasn't Stopped Liberals From Hating Them.

I Note That [benazir] Bhutto Demonstrates Her Own Deep Commitment To Democracy By Giving Herself The Title Chairperson For Life Of The Pakistan Peoples Party.

The Only Question I'd Be Interested In Is What Books Other Celebrities Have Read Recently, Which Is Part Of My Campaign To Promote Reading.

My Favorite Founding Fathers, Christians Like John Adams, Were Absolutely Appalled By Slavery, And Did Not Own Slaves. I Think We're Going To Have To Call On God's Grace Not Only For Slavery, But For What We're Doing Now With Abortions.

Yet, When Republicans Were Finally Able To Push Through Tough Policies On Crime And Welfare Which They'd Supported For Decades, They Were Magnificent Successes For The Entire Country, But Especially For Black People. Release Us, And Great Things Will Happen!

The Democratic Party Supports Criminals And Islamic Terrorists But Has No Sympathy For Taxpayers.

Liberals Have A Preternatural Gift For Striking A Position On The Side Of Treason...whenever The Nation Is Under Attack, From Within Or Without, Liberals Side With The Enemy.

They've Hit Us And We've Got To Hit Back Hard, And I'm Not Just Talking About The Terrorists.

I Was Morose That The Era Of Barack Obama Has Returned Us To A Period Where Everything Is Racist, Everyone Is Walking On Eggshells, And You Get The Moral Preening From White Liberals Who Don't Actually Even Know Any Black People. But, Oh, Do They Love To Get On Their High Horses And Accuse Republicans Of Being Racist For Opposing Very Liberal Government Policies And A Very Liberal Democratic President. It's An Extension Of The Civil Rights Label Being Slapped On Gay Marriage And Abortion. Allow Me To Be Bi-partisan For A Moment, And Love This Moment Because It Won't Last Long.

Before The New York Times Starts Running "portraits In Grief" Of Former Enron Employees, It's Worth Remembering That Even After The Collapse, Enron Stock Is Still Worth More Than The Entire Social Security "trust Fund."

I Think Being Called A She-devil By A Trial Lawyer Is Meant As A Compliment.

I'm A Christian First, And A Mean-spirited, Bigoted Conservative Second, And Don't You Ever Forget It. You Know Who Else Was Kind Of "divisive" In Terms Of Challenging The Status Quo And The Powers-that-be Of His Day? Jesus Christ.

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