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The Ending Of My Experience With Cocaine Came In A Periodic Way. I Would Get High Less Frequently, I Would Use Smaller Amounts, And I Would Do Coke For Less Periods Of Time. And That Process Just Kept Increasing And Increasing Until I Wasn't Using It At All. I Didn't Go On A Program Anywhere. I Didn't Join An Organization Or Detox Anywhere. I Just Slowly Tapered Off Until It Was Gone. That Was Also True Of My Heavy Pot Use. I Just Tapered Off Until There Was Almost No Use At All. And The Same Thing Was True Of Drinking Tons Of Beer.

-George Carlin

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The Ending Of My

George Carlin

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The Ending Of My Experience With Cocaine Came In A Periodic Way. I Would Get High Less Frequently, I Would Use Smaller Amounts, And I Would Do Coke For Less Periods Of Time. And That Process Just Kept Increasing And Increasing Until I Wasn't Using It At All. I Didn't Go On A Program Anywhere. I Didn't Join An Organization Or Detox Anywhere. I Just Slowly Tapered Off Until It Was Gone. That Was Also True Of My Heavy Pot Use. I Just Tapered Off Until There Was Almost No Use At All. And The Same Thing Was True Of Drinking Tons Of Beer.

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Two Things Happened. The Creative Side Of My Career Was Harmed. When I'd Sit Down And Write Under The Influence Of Coke, The Ratio Of Pages Kept To Pages Thrown Out Declined Drastically. But Onstage, When Rapping About A Feeling I Already Owned, I Would Sometimes Get A Burst Of Eloquence.

As Soon As Someone Is Identified As An Unsung Hero, He No Longer Is.

The Larger The Group, The More Toxic, The More Of Your Beauty As An Individual You Have To Surrender For The Sake Of Group Thought. And When You Suspend Your Individual Beauty You Also Give Up A Lot Of Your Humanity. You Will Do Things In The Name Of A Group That You Would Never Do On Your Own. Injuring, Hurting, Killing, Drinking Are All Part Of It, Because You've Lost Your Identity, Because You Now Owe Your Allegiance To This Thing That's Bigger Than You Are And That Controls You.

Someone Said, And Rightfully, That "property Is Theft'." There's No Way A Man Can Stand And Tell Me That He Owns An Apple Tree. I Just Don't Believe You. And So This Pursuit Of Position And Money And Power, They Are All Wrapped Up Into One Package That I Think Is Crippling, Debilitating And Limiting. And Unfortunately, People Get Sucked Into It And Then They've Got You On The Treadmill. You Know: ''you've Got To Have A Good Job'' And "you've Got To Have A Good Education'' - Which Is Another Word For Indoctrination. We're Never Going To Rise Above These Limitations We've Placed On Ourselves.

I Loved The Angiogram. They Stick A Thing In Your Thigh And It Goes All The Way Up To Your Heart. Isn't That A Thrill? Well, At Least The Nurse Scored Thigh.

Governments Don't Want A Population Capable Of Critical Thinking, They Want Obedient Workers, People Just Smart Enough To Run The Machines And Just Dumb Enough To Passively Accept Their Situation.

My Tombstone? I'm Thinking Something Along The Lines Of, 'geez, He Was Just Here A Minute Ago.'

Where Does The Dentist Go When He Leaves The Room?

Every Person You Look At, You Can See The Universe In Their Eyes, If You're Really Looking

My Advice: Just Keep Movin' Straight Ahead. Every Now And Then You Find Yourself In A Different Place.

Finding Yourself

You Know What They Want? They Want Obedient Workers. Obedient Workers, People Who Are Just Smart Enough To Run The Machines And Do The Paperwork. And Just Dumb Enough To Passively Accept All These Increasingly Shittier Jobs With The Lower Pay, The Longer Hours, The Reduced Benefits, The End Of Overtime And Vanishing Pension That Disappears The Minute You Go To Collect It. And Now They're Coming For Your Social Security Money. They Want Your F**kin' Retirement Money. They Want It Back So They Can Give It To Their Criminal Friends On Wall Street.

History Is Not Happenstance: It Is Conspiratorial. Carefully Planned And Executed By People In Power.

Governments Don't Want A Population Capable Of Critical Thinking, They Want Obedient Workers, People Just Smart Enough To Run The Machines And Just Dumb Enough To Passively Accept Their Situation.you Have No Choice. You Have Owners. They Own You. They Own Everything. They Own All The Important Land. They Own, And Control The Corporations. They've Long Since Bought, And Paid For The Senate, The Congress, The State Houses, The City Halls, They Got The Judges In Their Back Pockets And They Own All The Big Media Companies, So They Control Just About All Of The News And Information You Get To Hear.

If Drumsticks Are For Playing Drums, You Would Think That Breadsticks Would Be For Playing Bread, Wouldn't You? "would You Like Some Breadsticks?" "no, Thank You, I Don't Play Bread. I Play Drums. Perhaps I'll Have A Drum Roll."

If God Didn't Want You To Masturbate, He Would Have Given You Short Arms.

Avoid Teams At All Cost. Keep Your Circle Small. Never Join A Group That Has A Name.

Some People Think Of The Glass As Half Full. Some People Think Of The Glass As Half Empty. I Think Of The Glass As Too Big.

I Call Him Governor Bush Because That's The Only Political Office He's Ever Held Legally In This Country. I Don't Care Where They Hang His Portrait, I Don't Care How Big His Library Is. To Me, He'll Always Be "governor Bush." I Don't Even Capitalize His Name When I Type It Anymore.

There Are An Awful Lot Of Things In The Cut Of Street Drugs That Eventually Make You Sick. I Reached A Point Where The Skin Around The Edges Of My Fingernails Used To Hurt All The Time. And It Would Peel Away Easily. Now, That Must Have Been From Some Poison In The Cut.

A Crumb Is A Great Thing: If You Break A Crumb In Half, You Don't Get Two Half-crumbs, You Get Two Crumbs. Doesn't That Violate Some Law Of Physics?

I Love And Treasure Individuals As I Meet Them, I Loath And Despise The Groups They Identify Or Belong To.

I Thought About How Mothers Feed Their Babies With Tiny Little Spoons And Forks So I Wondered, What Do Chinese Mothers Use? Toothpicks?

People Think Life Is Real Complicated. Actually, There's Nothing To It. Once You Leave Out All The Bullshit They Teach You In School, Life Gets Really Simple.

Anyone Who's Onstage Is Going To Attract A Certain Number Of Misguided People. But I Was Never Very Interested In Groupies.

I Always Have These Little Internal Monologues. You'll Get Used To Them.

If You You Think There Is A Solution, You're Part Of The Problem.

I Like Florida. Everything Is In The 80s. The Temperatures, The Ages And The Iq's.

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Guy Gavriel Kay

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