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Saudia Arabia Takes In Half A Trillion Dollars Every Year In Oil Revenue, And The Country Has A Population Smaller Than New York State, But When Your System Of Government Is An Eleventh Century Monarchy, Someone's Going To End Up Poor, And It's Not Gonna Be The Guy Whose First Name Is King.

-Craig Ferguson

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Saudia Arabia Takes In

Craig Ferguson

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Saudia Arabia Takes In Half A Trillion Dollars Every Year In Oil Revenue, And The Country Has A Population Smaller Than New York State, But When Your System Of Government Is An Eleventh Century Monarchy, Someone's Going To End Up Poor, And It's Not Gonna Be The Guy Whose First Name Is King.

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The Sexy Magazine In Britain In That Time Was Called Club International. Club International: It Was About As International As The International House Of Pancakes. It Should Have Been Called Naked Cockney Girls With Scurvy.

Late Night Is No Different Than Making A Film, Really, Except That It's Faster, And If You Do A Crap One, You Can Do A Better One Tomorrow. Writing A Novel And Doing Stand-up - That Stuff Is Very Similar.

Divorce Lawyers Stoke Anger And Fear In Their Clients, Knowing That As Long As The Conflicts Remain Unresolved The Revenue Stream Will Keep Flowing.

Cbs Announced They're Canceling As The World Turns. Don't Worry Though, If You're Addicted To The Twisted Plots, The Intrigue, The Illicit Sex, You Can Still Watch Golf.

I Hated The Summer Jobs I Had When I Was A Teenager. They Were So Mundane And Repetitious, They Deadened My Soul. On The Bright Side, It Was Good Training For This Job.

Gas Prices - It Is $6 A Gallon Here. People In L.a. Are Furious. You Can't Tell, Of Course, Because Of The Botox.

Time Is Only Linear For Engineers And Referees.

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