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New Rule: 'kidiots' Leave The Children Behind. At Least Until They Learn Something. A New Study Has Shown That Half Of American High Schools Agree That Newspapers Should Only Be Able To Publish Government-approved Material. Almost One Out Of Five Said People Should Not Be Allowed To Voice Unpopular Opinions..this Is The First Generation After September 11th, Who Discovered News During A 'watch What You Say' Administration...george W. Bush Once Asked, 'is Our Children Learning.' No, They Isn't. A Better Question Would Be, 'is Our Teacher's Teaching?

-Bill Maher

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New Rule: 'kidiots' Leave

Bill Maher

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New Rule: 'kidiots' Leave The Children Behind. At Least Until They Learn Something. A New Study Has Shown That Half Of American High Schools Agree That Newspapers Should Only Be Able To Publish Government-approved Material. Almost One Out Of Five Said People Should Not Be Allowed To Voice Unpopular Opinions..this Is The First Generation After September 11th, Who Discovered News During A 'watch What You Say' Administration...george W. Bush Once Asked, 'is Our Children Learning.' No, They Isn't. A Better Question Would Be, 'is Our Teacher's Teaching?

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Rick Santorum Doesn't Like Sex. He Doesn't Like The Pill. He Really Doesn't Like Condoms. He Said If Men Are Going To Pull Something On To Prevent Procreation, Nothing Works Better That A Sweater Vest.

Because Of The Republicans, I'm Not Ashamed Of Being An American. I'm Embarrassed!

Since The Icelandic Volcano Obviously Needs A Virgin Sacrifice And The Catholic Church Obviously Needs New Leadership The Pope Must Volunteer To Jump In The Volcano. Pontiff, Don't Think Of It As Endorsing Paganism, Think Of It As Supersizing Ash Wednesday.

Religion, It Stops People From Thinking Because They Think All The Answers Are In That One Book; It Impedes Progress; It Justifies Crazy People. Flying Planes Into A Building Was A Faith-based Initiative.

I Don't Want My President To Be A Tv Star. You Don't Have To Be On Television Every Minute Of Every Day - You're The President, Not A Rerun Of 'law & Order'. Tv Stars Are Too Worried Bout Being Popular And Too Concerned About Being Renewed.

If You Have A Few Hundred Followers And You Let Some Of Them Molest Children, They Call You A Cult Leader. If You Have A Billion, They Call You Pope.

Do You Think It's Possible That When We're On Something Like Marijuana Or Mushrooms And We Believe We're Having A Really Spiritual Experience That We're Just High?

In Ten Muslim Countries You Can Get The Death Penalty Just For Being Gay. If They Were Chopping The Heads Off Of Gay People In The Vatican, Wouldn't There Be A Greater Outcry Among Liberals?

Laughter Is Sort Of A Natural Truth Detector. If You Laugh At Something, It's Probably Because There Was Some Truth In It.

Stand-up Is Great Because I Can Get Everything Off My Chest.

Here's The Thing About Donald Trump: He Never Apologizes. He's Never Wrong, No Matter What Crazy Thing He Says. He's Totally - He's The White Kanye.

We Survived The 1980's. Back Then, The Economic Program Was Called 'trickle Down.' That Actually Meant They Were Pissing On You. How The Whole Theory Goes Was This: 'we Have All The Money. If We Drop Some, It's Yours. Go For It.'

The Worst Years Of My Life Were The First Two Years I Was Doing Standup. You're Learning How To Do, And You're Going On Stage In Front Of Two Drunks And People Aren't Laughing And You're Broke. That's A Really Hard Time In Your Life.

Religion Is Detrimental To The Progress Of Society.

Progress Of Society

I Love The Tea Party. They Are The Ultimate Beer Goggles. They Make Everything Look Better.

The Teachers Don't Know Anything. What Are The Kids Going To Learn With A Horrible Education System?

To Even Win A Nomination In This Country, You Have To Say You're A Person Of Great Faith. You Have To Pledge To The People Out There That You Put Your Faith In Things That Are Unable To Be Proven - That You Suspend Critical Thinking As The Way To Go.

Republicans Have Become The Party Of Red, White And Blue Rose Colored Glasses. By Drowning Out Criticism With Usa! Usa!, They Prevent This Country From Healing Itself Where It Needs Healing, And That Is The Opposite Of Country First.

If You Believe Jesus Ever Had A Good Word For War Or Torture Or Tax Cuts For The Rich, Or Raping The Earth, Or Refusing Water To Dying Migrants, Then You Might As Well Believe Bunnies Lay Painted Eggs.

To Those People Who Say, 'my Father Is Alive Because Of Animal Experimentation,' I Say, 'yeah, Well, Good For You. This Dog Died So Your Father Could Live.' Sorry, But I Am Just Not Behind That Kind Of Trade-off.

Ronald Reagan Basically Legalized Every Illegal Immigrant In This Country. I Just Like To Bring This Up Because Every Week I Like To Make Republican Heads Explode About How They Love Ronald Reagan, But Would Despise Everything He Did.

False Hope Really Makes You Cynical.

I Hear A Lot Of Talk Today About Xenophobia. Is It Really Phobia If You Have Something To Be Afraid Of?

What I Have Against Religion Is That They Start You When You Are So Defenseless. I Mean, I Was Three When They Started Pumping This Bullshit Into My Head. I Believed In Santa Claus And The Fairy Godmother, Of Course I Believed In A Virgin Birth, And A Guy Lived In A Whale, And A Woman Came From A Rib. But Then Something Happened That Made Me Doubt All Of It: I Graduated Sixth Grade!

New Rule: The Rest Of The World Can Go Back To Being Completely Jealous Of America. Our Majority White Country Just Freely Elected A Black President, Something No Other Democracy Has Ever Done. Take That Canada! Where's Your Nubian Warrior President? Your Head Of State Is A Boring White Dude Named Steven Harper, And Mine Is A Kick-ass Black Ninja Named Barack Hussein Obama!

It Just Seems Like Atheists Are Not Included In The Basket Of Diversity In America, Which Is Odd Because We Are The Biggest Minority. That Is A Bigger Minority Than Any Other Minority You Can Name.

Hillary Clinton And Nancy Reagan Have A Lot In Common - They're Both Smarter Than Their Husbands And Both Consulted The Stars For Guidance, Nancy With Astrology And Hillary With Barbra Streisand.

Not A Lot Of People Know About Tunisia. Sarah Palin Thinks It's The Name Of One Of Obama's Kids.

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