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I Want To Be Around People That Do Things. I Don't Want To Be Around People Anymore That Judge Or Talk About What People Do. I Want To Be Around People Who Dream And Support And Do Things.

-Amy Poehler

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I Want To Be

Amy Poehler

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I Want To Be Around People That Do Things. I Don't Want To Be Around People Anymore That Judge Or Talk About What People Do. I Want To Be Around People Who Dream And Support And Do Things.

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When Your Children Arrive, The Best You Can Hope For Is That They Break Open Everything About You. Your Mind Floods With Oxygen. Your Heart Becomes A Room With Wide-open Windows. You Laugh Hard Every Day.

I'd Like To Think That I Don't Have A Stock Character That I Go To. I'm Lucky In That When You Get To Initiate Your Own Scene, You Get To Play Whoever You Want. That's Really Kind Of Cool, But All My Characters Are Short. I Look On The Videotape, And I Thought They Were Taller, But They're All 5'2".

I Had No Idea How To Get Guys To Notice Me. I Still Don't. Who Cares?

Decide What Your Currency Is Early. Let Go Of What You Will Never Have. People Who Do This Are Happier And Sexier.

As You Navigate Through The Rest Of Your Life, Be Open To Collaboration. Other People And Other People's Ideas Are Often Better Than Your Own. Find A Group Of People Who Challenge And Inspire You, Spend A Lot Of Time With Them, And It Will Change Your Life.

Both Conservatives And Liberals Watch 'parks And Recreation,' And They Each Think The Show Is For Them, Which Is Really Cool. 'snl' Was Totally Different. It Was Exciting Because Everyone Was Paying Attention. Political Humor Works When People Know What You're Talking About.

I Think Chemistry Is About Not Acting, But Reacting, And Not Talking, But Listening.

Any Time You Talk To Anyone About Something That They Love, They're, Like, Their Most Beautiful. It's A Cool Gift To Get To Talk To People About What They Love.

I Would Love To Do A Serious Period Drama. Oh, Absolutely. I Mean, You'll Find Most Comedians Want To Do More Serious Stuff, Most Musicians Want To Be Comedians, And Most Serious Actors Want To Be Musicians.

I Think If You Can Dance And Be Free And Not Embarrassed, You Can Rule The World.

We Have To Agree Beforehand To Divide The Funniest Lines Between Us. But Tina [fey] Is So Brilliant That I Just Love Every Moment Working With Her And Also Just Hanging Out Together As Friends.

I Think The Days Of Putting Your Feet Up When You're Pregnant Are Long Gone. Women Who Are Nine Months Pregnant Now Have To Work Till The Bitter End - They Don't Get To Be On Tv.

The Answer To A Lot Of Your Life's Questions Is Often In Someone Else's Face. People's Faces Will Tell You Amazing Things. Like If They Are Angry, Or Nauseous, Or Asleeptry To Keep Your Mind Open To Possibilities And Your Mouth Closed On Matters That You Don't Know About. Limit Your 'always' And Your 'nevers.' Continue To Share Your Heart With People Even If It Has Been Broken.

Keep Your Virginity For As Long As You Can, Until It Starts To Feel Weird To You. Then Just Get It Over With.

Looking Silly Can Be Ver Powerful. People Who Are Committing And Taking Risks Become The King And Queen Of My Prom. People Are Their Most Beautiful When They Are Laughing, Crying, Dancing, Playing, Telling The Truth, And Being Chased In A Fun Way.

Take Your Risks Now; As You Become Older, You Become More Fearful And Less Flexible. And I Mean That Literally. I Hurt My Knee This Week On The Treadmill, And It Wasn't Even On.

As An Actor, You Can Certainly, At Any Moment And At Any Time, Discover 400 People Who Think You're Stupid, Fat And Ugly.

Only At The Golden Globes Do The Beautiful People Of Film Rub Shoulders With The Rat-faced People In Television.

Hey, Guess What? Turns Out The Free Market? Not So Free. Wall Street Was Hit Hard Monday When Lehman Brothers Filed For Bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch Was Sold To Bank Of America, And Insurance Giant Aig Neared A Collapse Of Its Own. Basically, If Your Commercials Air During Golf Tournaments, You're Done.

I Used To Say That I Wanted To Make Great Art With People I Love. Now I Have An Addendum To That Goal: To Get Things On The Air.

President Bush On Monday Defended U.s. Interrogation Of Terrorists, Saying 'we Do Not Torture.' He Added, 'we Freedom Electrocute.'

It Takes Years As A Woman To Unlearn What You Have Been Taught To Be Sorry For.

I Don't Watch A Lot Of Comedy. For Relaxation And Escape, I Watch Shows About How People Survive Bear Attacks. Or Old Episodes Of 'law And Order,' The Benjamin Bratt/jerry Orbach Era.

Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used. And Don't Try To Give Me That Nerd Argument That Your Heart Is A 'batman' With A Limited-edition Silver Bat-erang And Therefore If It Stays In Its Original Packing It Increases In Value.

If You Are Lucky, There Is A Moment In Your Life When You Have Some Say As To What Your Currency Is Going To Be. I Decided Early On It Was Not Going To Be My Looks.

Girls, If A Boy Says Something That Isn't Funny, You Don't Have To Laugh.

Any Painful Experience Makes You See Things Differently. It Also Reminds You Of The Simple Truths That We Purposely Forget Every Day Or Else We Would Never Get Out Of Bed.

Painful Experiences

Going From Crying To Laughing That Fast And Hard Happens Maybe Five Times In Your Life And That Extreme Right Turn Is The Reason Why We Are Alive, And I Believe It Extends Our Life By Many Years.

A Bossy Woman Is Someone To Search Out And Celebrate. A Bossy Woman Is Someone Who Cares And Commits And Is A Natural Leader.

Women Need To Take Charge Of Their Lives And Be As Dynamic And Active As They Can Be. I Know That Some People Feel That There's A Negative Connotation To The Notion Of Feminism Like It Has Some Hidden And Ugly Undercurrent. But That's Ridiculous. My Mother Was A Feminist And She Was Very Politically-minded And Always Anxious To Defend Women's Rights And Advance A Lot Of Social Issues For Women.

Sometimes You Need To Know To Quit While You're Ahead Or At Least Before Things Get Much Worse!

Masters Of Sex Is The Degree I Got From Boston College.

Your Career And Your Passion Don't Always Match Up. Plenty Of Talented People Don't Have The Careers They Want. Plenty Of Untalented People Make Millions And Make Movies. There Is A Difference Between Determination And Talent.

I've Grown Tired Of Smoke And Mirrors. I Yearn For The Clean, Well-lighted Place.

No One Looks Stupid When They're Having Fun.

It’s Very Hard To Have Ideas. It’s Very Hard To Put Yourself Out There, It’s Very Hard To Be Vulnerable, But Those People Who Do That Are The Dreamers, The Thinkers And The Creators. They Are The Magic People Of The World.

I Believe Great People Do Things Before They Are Ready.

I Lived In Chicago For A Few Years And Got A Sense Of - Kind Of That Broad-shouldered, Windy, Um, Stern, Midwestern, Warm-slash-passive Aggressive, Wonderful - Every Adjective I Can Think Of, Very Cold.

Everybody Is Interesting When They Are Interested In Something.

I Know Enough Now To Know I Know Nothing.

Telling Me To Relax Or Smile When I'm Angry Is Like Bringing A Birthday Cake Into An Ape Sanctuary. You're Just Asking To Get Your Nose And Genitals Bitten Off.

Symmetry Is Pleasing But Not As Sexy. Einstein Is Cool But Picasso Knows What I'm Talking About.

I Like To Do Things That Challenge Me And Make Me Nervous.

Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used.

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There's Power In Looking Silly And Not Caring That You Do.

If I Wanted To See Jonah Hill Masturbate At A Pool Party, I'd Go To One Of Jonah Hill's Pool Parties.

I Am Tired Of Being Tired And Talking About How Tired I Am.

I Don’t Really Believe In Cars, But I Drive One Every Day And I Love That It Gets Me Places And Makes Life So Much Easier And Faster And I Don’t Know What I Would Do Without It.

I Have A Boyfriend Who Knows How To Settle Me. He Puts His Hand On My Chest And Tells Me Boring Stories. On One Of Our First Nights Together I Woke Up Apologizing For My Snoring And He Pulled Out Two Earplugs He Had Worn To Bed So He Could Hear What I Was Saying.

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Funny Inspirational

I Asked People Who Have Already Finished Books For Advice, Which Is Akin To Asking A Mother With A Four-year-old What Childbirth Is Like.

During An Interview With Katie Couric Tuesday, Sarah Palin Says She Is Not Opposed To Gay People, Adding 'one Of My Absolute Best Friends For The Last 30 Years Happens To Be Gay And I Love Her Dearly And She Doesn't Exist.'

Meryl Streep Is Not Here Tonight. She Has The Flu - And I Hear She's Amazing In It.

Career Is The Stringing Together Of Opportunities And Jobs. Mix In Public Opinion And Past Regrets. Add A Dash Of Future Panic And A Whole Lot Of Financial Uncertainty. Career Is Something That Fools You Into Thinking You Are In Control And Then Takes Pleasure In Reminding You That You Aren't. Career Is The Thing That Will Not Fill You Up And Will Never Make You Truly Whole.

To Some People, Not Caring Is Supposed To Be Cool, Commenting Is More Interesting Than Doing, And Everything Is Judged And Then Disposed Of In, Like, Five Minutes. I'm Not Interested In Those Kinds Of People. I Like The Person Who Commits And Goes All In And Takes Big Swings And Then Maybe Fails Or Looks Stupid; Who Jumps And Falls Down, Rather Than The Person Who Points At The Person Who Fell, And Laughs. But I Do Sometimes Laugh When People Fall Down.

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When You Feel Scared, Hold Someone's Hand And Look Into Their Eyes. And When You Feel Brave, Do The Same Thing. You Are All Here Because You Are Smart. And You Are Brave. And If You Add Kindness And The Ability To Change A Tire, You Almost Make Up The Perfect Person.

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I Have These Meetings With Really Powerful Men And They Ask Me All The Time, 'where Are Your Kids? Are Your Kids Here?' it's Such A Weird Question. Never In A Million Years Do I Ask Guys Where Their Kids Are. It Would Be Comparable To Me Going To A Guy, 'do You Feel Like You See Your Kids Enough?'

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Sometimes Painful Things Can Teach Us Lessons That We Didn't Think We Needed To Know.

When Youre A Stay-at-home Mother You Have To Pretend Its Really Boring, But Its Not. Its Enriching And Fulfilling, And An Amazing Experience. And Then When Youre A Working Mother You Have To Pretend That You Feel Guilty All Day Long.

I Just Love Bossy Women. I Could Be Around Them All Day. To Me, Bossy Is Not A Pejorative Term At All. It Means Somebody's Passionate And Engaged And Ambitious And Doesn't Mind Leading.

When Something Feels Really Big, Too Big To Handle, Just Go Very Small. Just Go Real Small, Just Look At The Person Next To You And Look In Their Eyes And Meet The Person Next To You, Find Out Their Name, Change One Person's Life And Make One Call, Write One Letter, Give One Dollar. Whatever Small Thing Feels Like What You Can Do - It Changes The Course Of The Ship And That Is All It Is.

You Never Know What's Around The Corner Unless You Peek. Hold Someone's Hand While You Do It. You Will Feel Less Scared.

The Truth Is, Writing Is This: Hard And Boring And Occasionally Great But Usually Not.

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Great People Do Things Before They’re Ready. They Do Things Before They Know They Can Do It.

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Just Breathe. Sometimes You're Only A Few Breaths Away From Feeling Better.

The Only Way We Will Survive Is By Being Kind. The Only Way We Can Get By In This World Is Through The Help We Receive From Others. No One Can Do It Alone, No Matter How Great The Machines Are.

Shame Makes People Abandon Their Children And Drink Themselves To Death. It Also Keeps Us From True Happiness. An Apology Is A Glorious Release.

Always Remember Your Kid's Name.

I Get Worried For Young Girls Sometimes; I Want Them To Feel That They Can Be Sassy And Full And Weird And Geeky And Smart And Independent, And Not So Withered And Shriveled.

I Think Going From Laughing To Crying To Laughing To Crying - Making Those Quick Turns Adds Years To Your Life.

Too Often We Women Try To Tackle Chaos That Is Not Ours To Fix.

When You're Betrayed There's A Period Of Shame And Then There's Always Forgiveness.

Rooting For Other People's Failure Does Get In The Way Of Your Success.

You Deserve Love And You'll Get It.

If Boys Say Something That's Not Funny, You Don't Have To Laugh.

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If You Ever Want To See Heaven, Watch A Bunch Of Young Girls Play. They Are All Sweat And Skinned Knees. Energy And Open Faces.

Anger And Embarrassment Are Often Neighbors.

Do Work That You Are Proud Of With Your Talented Friends.

I Want To Be Around People That Do Things. I Don't Want To Be Around People Anymore That Judge Or Talk About What People Do. I Want To Be Around People Who Dream And Support And Do Things.

Education Is Power, It Changes Your Whole Life, It Can Create A Life For Yourself. So The More Educated You Are, The More You Learn About What You Care About, You Become A More Caring Person. And If You Can Speak About What You Care About To A Person You Disagree With, Without Denigrating Or Insulting Them, Then You May Actually Be Heard. And You May Even Change Their Mind, Or They May Change Yours.

I Have Realized That Mystery Is What Keeps People Away, And I've Grown Tired Of Smoke And Mirrors. I Yearn For The Clean, Well-lighted Place. So Let's Peek Behind The Curtain And Hail The Others Like Us. The Open-faced Sandwiches Who Take Risks And Live Big And Smile With All Of Their Teeth. These Are The People I Want To Be Around. This Is The Honest Way I Want To Live And Love And Write.

Listen. Say Yes. Live In The Moment. Make Sure You Play With People Who Have Your Back. Make Big Choices Early And Often.

Be Easy On Yourself. Have Fun. Only Hang Around People That Are Positive And Make You Feel Good. Anybody Who Doesn't Make You Feel Good, Kick Them To The Curb. And The Earlier You Start In Your Life The Better. The Minute Anybody Makes You Feel Weird And Non-included Or Not Supported, You Know, Either Beat It Or Tell Them To Beat It.

I Want To Be Around People Who Dream And Support And Do Things.

I'd Say Any Good Set Or Any Comedy That I've Worked On, That's Worked, Has Been Comedians Pitching Ideas Back And Forth To Each Other. A Lot Of Like, 'what If You Say This? What About This?'

I Want Girls To Feel That They Can Be Sassy And Full And Weird And Geeky And Smart And Independent, And Not So Withered And Shriveled. (the American Apparel Ads) I'm Over This Weird, Exhausted Girl. I'm Over The Girl That's Tired And Freezing And Hungry. I Like Bossy Girls. I Like People Filled With Life. I'm Over This Weird Media Thing With All This, Like, Hollow-eyed, Empty, Party Crap.

Continue To Share Your Heart With People Even If It's Been Broken.

I Also Think If You're An Actor And You Can Improvise, When You Go On An Audition And You Can Improvise You're Just A Genius. If You Can, You Know, Take A Tide Commercial And You Can Just Say One Funny Line That's Not In The Commercial They Think You're A Genius.

Vulnerable People Are Powerful People. Opening Your Heart And Sharing It Means You're Going To Get So Much Love In Your Life. And It's The Way To True Connection And Real Purpose And Meaning In Your Life, In My Opinion.

I Love Saying 'yes' And I Love Saying 'please.' Saying 'yes' Doesn't Mean I Don't Know How To Say No, And Saying 'please' Doesn't Mean I Am Waiting For Permission. 'yes Please' Sounds Powerful And Concise. It's A Response And A Request. It Is Not About Being A Good Girl; It Is About Being A Real Woman.

I Like Bossy Girls. I Always Have. I Like People Filled With Life.

I Find That, In General, The Amount Of Sharing Men Do With Each Other In One Year Is About The Same As What I Share With My Female Friends While We Wait For Our Cars At The Valet.

I Hate Halloween. I Hate Dressing Up. I Hate - I Wear Wigs, Makeup, Costumes Every Day. Halloween Is Like, My Least Favorite Holiday.

We May All Host Ourselves To Death, And If We're All Dead Who Will Host Our Funerals?

I Used To Get My Hair Dyed At A Place Called Big Hair. It Cost $15. They Just Used Straight Bleach, So My Hair Was The Color Of White Lined Paper, And My Eyebrows Looked Like They Were Done With A Thick Black Marker.

Our Ego Is A Monster That Loves To Sit At The Head Of The Table, And I Have Learned That My Ego Is Just As Rude And Loud And Hungry As Everyone Else's. It Doesn't Matter How Much You Get; You Are Left Wanting More.

I Don't Think A Man Who Is Fifteen Years Younger Than Me Should Tell Me He Is Proud Of Me Unless He Is My Sober Coach Or My Time-travel Dad.

I've Always Dreamed Of Growing Up To Be Amy Poehler.

Funny Inspirational

Forgiveness Is Something That's Always Possibility.

Open-faced Sandwiches Take Risks And Live Big And Smile With All Their Teeth. These Are The People I Want To Be Around.

My Idea Of The Perfect Exercise Class Is This: The Teacher Gives Us All A Hug And Goes, “you Did It! You Showed Up! Let’s Lie Down.” We All Lie Down And She’s Like, “how Is Everybody Feeling?” We’re Like, “great!” And The Teacher’s Like, “great!” Then We All Get To Leave 20 Minutes Early.

There's Nothing Like Watching A Live Performance Of, Frankly, Anything. You Have To Make Sure That People Believe Everything Is Improvised. I Could Not Stress Enough How Little We [actors] Prepare And What Small Amount Of Time We Put In Before These Shows.

Improvisation Is Almost Like The Retarded Cousin In The Comedy World. We've Been Trying Forever To Get Improvisation On Tv. It's Just Like Stand-up. It's Best When It's Just Left Alone. It Doesn't Translate Always On Tv. It's Best Live.

Sometimes You Have To Kind Of Keep Proving That You're Improvising. That's The Game, Or The Goal, Of Long-form Tv Improv, Is That You Have To Kind Of Keep Reminding And Showing People That You're Improvising, Because They Won't Believe You Really.

I Get A Little Itchy If I Don't Have Some Control.

If The Goal Is Doing Good Stuff And Working With Your Friends ... If You’re Doing That Then You’re Succeeding.

The Only Thing We Can Depend On In Life Is That Everything Changes. The Seasons, Our Partners, What We Want And Need. We Hold Hands With Out High School Friends And Swear To Never Lose Touch, And Then We Do.change Is The Only Constant. Your Ability To Navigate And Tolerate Change And Its Painful Uncomfortableness Directly Correlates To Your Happiness And General Well-being.

Talented Men Are Not Threatened By Talented Women. They Welcome Them. And Same Way With Real Men.

It Seems A Strange Thing, But Once I Was Able To Get Past That Kind Of Self-image Problem, I Was Able To Open Up In My Comedy Work And Just Go All Out, Take Chances, And Have Fun With The Performance Aspect Of That.

Don't Start A Scene Where Two People Are Talking About Jumping Out Of A Plane. Start The Scene Having Already Jumped. If You Are Scared, Look Into Your Partner's Eyes. You Will Feel Better.

Blessed Are They Who See Beautiful Things In Humble Places Where Other People See Nothing. Continue To Share Your Heart With People Even If It's Been Broken.

Reading Was A Way To Make Friends Or Enemies, A Way To Discover How All These Different People Exist In The World And To Rub Shoulders With Them. The Ability To Feel As If You Have Met Someone, As If That Person Exists In Flesh And Blood And That You Relate To Them Somehow, Makes You Feel A Lot Less Lonely. And It Also Makes You Feel Very Brave.

A Top Mccain Policy Adviser Claimed This Week That Mccain's Work In The Senate Helped Create The Blackberry, Saying, 'you're Looking At The Miracle That John Mccain Helped Create.' He Then Handed The Blackberry To Mccain, Who Attempted To Withdraw $20 From It.

Opening Your Heart And Being Courageous And Telling People That You Care About Them Or Like Them Or That You Think They're Special Only Makes You A Better, Bigger, Kinder, Softer, More Loving Person, And Only Attracts More Love Into Your Life.

Everyone Needs Love, Never Hurt A Living Thing [and] Don’t Worry About The Choices You Make Because Everything Will Be Fun Because Life Is A Closet Filled With Pool Toys.

Fighting Aging Is Like The War On Drugs. It's Expensive, Does More Harm Than Good, And Has Been Proven To Never End.

What I Like About All These Giant Superhero Movies Is That They Speak To The Issues That I'm Dealing With - Working Mother And Time Management And How To Be An Interesting, Sexual, Curious Woman In Your 40s.

If You're A Good Improviser, You Improvise Well Enough That People Think That You're Doing A Sketch.

You Can Tell Someone You Love Them First. You Can Try To Speak Only The Truth For A Whole Week. You Can Jump Out Of An Airplane Or Spend Christmas Day All By Your Lonesome. You Can Help People Who Need Help And Fight Real Bad Guys. You Can Dance Fast Or Take An Improv Class Or Do One Of Those Ironman Things… Adventure And Danger Can Be Good For Your Heart And Soul.

In The Wake Of Newly-alleged Prisoner Abuse This Week, Senator John Mccain Said That Continued Mistreatment Of Iraqi Prisoners Is Hurting The Nation's Image. Also Hurting The Nation's Image: Letting People Drown When It Rains.

I Think Real Life Couples On Screen Are Kind Of Deadly. For The Most Part, They're Kind Of Deadly. You'd Be Surprised. Unless They're Falling In Love Onscreen For The First Time, You Don't Have Quite The Same Energy For Some Reason.

Falling In Love

Dreams Never Wear You Down.

The Computer Is The New Fireplace, Everyone In The Family Gathers Around The Digital Hearth For Warmth.

Whenever I Read Stories Of People Doing Huge Pranks On Set, All I Think Is, 'these People Have Too Much Time On Their Hands.' Besides, I Don't Want To Make Some Poor Assistant Clean Up Someone's Trailer After I've Filled It With, Say, Cadbury Eggs. See? I Can't Even Think Of A Good Prank.

I Worked At An Ice Cream Parlor Called Chadwicks. We Wore Old-timey Outfits And Had To Bang A Drum, Play A Kazoo, And Sing 'happy Birthday' To People While Giving Them Free Birthday Sundaes. Lots Of Ice Cream Scooping And $1 Tips.

Don't Think. Get Out Of Your Head. Stop Planning And Just Go.

Your Ability To Navigate And Tolerate Change And Its Painful Uncomfortablene Ss Directly Correlates To Your Happiness And General Well-being. See What I Just Did There? I Saved You Thousands Of Dollars On Self-help Books. If You Can Surf Your Life Rather Than Plant Your Feet, You Will Be Happier.

It's Very Hard To Watch Comedy For Me, When I'm Doing A Comedy Show, Because I Either Watch A Show And I Love It, And I'm Jealous, Or I Watch A Show And I See All The Problems With It, And I'm Angry That I Watched It.

I Had Already Made A Decision Early On That I Would Be A Plain Girl With Tons Of Personality, And Accepting It Made Everything A Lot Easier. If You Are Lucky, There Is A Moment In Your Life When You Have Some Say As To What Your Currency Is Going To Be. I Decided Early On It Was Not Going To Be My Looks. I Have Spent A Lifetime Coming To Terms With This Idea And I Would Say I Am About 15 To 20 Percent There.decide What Your Currency Is Early. Let Go Of What You Will Never Have. People Who Do This Are Happier And Sexier.

The Minute Anyone Makes You Feel Weird And Non-included Or Not Supported, You Know, Either Beat It Or Tell Them To Beat It.

Being Snubbed Is Not Always A Bad Thing At Awards Shows Because You End Up Getting A Lot Of People Coming Up To You And Telling You How Great You Are.

Anybody Who Doesn't Make You Feel Good, Kick Them To The Curb. And The Earlier You Start In Your Life, The Better.

Most Authors Liken The Struggle Of Writing To Something Mighty And Macho, Like Wrestling A Bear. Writing A Book Is Nothing Like That. It Is A Small, Slow Crawl To The Finish Line. Honestly, I Have Moments When I Don't Even Care If Anyone Reads This Book. I Just Want To Finish It.

When Young Girls Are Encouraged To Explore What They Find Interesting, They Grow Up To Be Interesting Women.

I Really Liked The Idea Of Playing That Kind Of Optimistic, Super-intense, Go-get-'em Spirit Combined With Being A Little Bit Of An Outsider. I Am Really Drawn To Girls Of That Age In General, Who Believe They Can Be A Waitress, Scientist, Actress, A Dentist, A Zookeeper...and Who Really Aren't Boy-crazy.

Saying "yes" Doesn't Mean I Don't Know How To Say No, And Saying "please" Doesn't Mean I Am Waiting For Permission.

You Become More Attractive When You Love Yourself. You Attract The Right Things When You Have A Sense Of Who You Are.

I Also Love Being Able To Do Something That Kids And Families Can Enjoy Because I Have Two Children Of My Own And I Want Them To Grow Up Watching All The Fabulous Animated Movies And Cartoons That I Loved To Watch As A Kid.

The Process Of Divorce Is About Loading That Blanket, Throwing It Up, Watching It All Spin, And Worrying What Stuff Will Break When It Lands.

I Think The Hardest Thing Is To Know What You Want, Ask For It, And Then To Stop Talking.

I Like The Person Who Commits And Goes All In And Takes Big Swings And Then Maybe Fails Or Looks Stupid; Who Jumps And Falls Down, Rather Than The Person Who Points At The Person Who Fell, And Laughs.

I Cannot Stress Enough That The Answer To Life's Questions Is Often In People's Faces. Try Putting Your Iphones Down Once In A While, And Look In People's Faces. People's Faces Will Tell You Amazing Things. Like If They Are Angry, Or Nauseous Or Asleep.

The Earlier You Learn That You Should Focus On What You Have, And Not Obsess About What You Don't Have, The Happier You Will Be.

Try Putting Your Iphones Down Every Once In A While And Look At People's Faces.

Funny Graduation

Calling People 'sweetheart' Makes Most People Enraged.

I Am A Firm Believer That Every Few Years One Needs To Shake One's Life Through A Sieve, Like A Miner In The Yukon. The Gold Nuggets Remain. The Rest Falls Through Like The Soft Earth It Is.

President Bush Threw Out The First Pitch Monday At Cincinnati's Great American Ball Park. 18 Iraqis Were Killed.

Most Of The Women In Your Life Will Outlast The Men In Your Life. The Saturday Night Live Ladies - Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Tina - And I Text Pictures Of Our Kids Back And Forth All The Time. It Keeps Us Connected. As My Nanny Used To Say, The Older You Get, The More Important It Is To Know People That Knew You When.

It Likes It When You Don’t Depend On It. It Will Reward You Every Time You Don’t Act Needy. It Will Chase You If You Act Like Other Things (passion, Friendship, Family, Longevity) Are More Important To You. If Your Career Is A Bad Boyfriend, It Is Healthy To Remember You Can Always Leave And Go Sleep With Somebody Else.

We Need To Remember What's Important In Life: Friends, Waffles, Work. Or Waffles, Friends, Work, It Doesn't Matter. But Work Is Third.

Parks And Recreation

Taking Risks And Making Choices Is What Makes Life So Exciting.

Rooting For Other People's Failure Does Get In The Way Of Your Success...when You Can Wish Good Things For People And Rejoice When They Get It, So Many Gifts And Blessings Come To You That You Can't Even Imagine.

I Think We Should Stop Asking People In Their 20s What They 'want To Do' And Start Asking Them What They Don't Want To Do. Instead Of Asking Students To 'declare Their Major' We Should Ask Students To 'list What They Will Do Anything To Avoid.' It Just Makes A Lot More Sense.

I've Said This Before, That, When You're In School And You're The Class Clown, Men Are Really Good At Making Fun At Other People And Women Are Really Good At Making Fun Of Themselves.

The Creation Of The Ucb Theatre Is By Far My Proudest Professional Accomplishment.

You Aren't Allowed To Feel Special, But No One Knows The Specific Ways You Are In Pain.

I Love Bossy Women. Some People Hate The Word, And I Understand How "bossy" Can Seem Like A Shitty Way To Describe A Woman With A Determined Point Of View, But For Me, A Bossy Woman Is Someone To Search Out And Celebrate. A Bossy Woman Is Someone Who Cares And Commits And Is A Natural Leader.

Ang Lee's Been Nominated For Best Director For "life Of Pi," Which Is What I'm Going To Call The Six Weeks After I Take This Dress Off.

Find A Group Of People Who Challenge And Inspire You, Spend A Lot Of Time With Them, And It Will Change Your Life.

I Just Want To Help Other Women Achieve As Much As They Can In Society Without Restraints Being Imposed On Us. It's The Most Natural And Normal Thing To Want To Defend Your Rights To Equal Opportunities, Equal Pay For Equal Work, And Everything That Comes With That.

Make No A Complete Sentence.

Because Of Various Security Lapses, Some Senators Are Calling For A Probe Of The Security At The Offices Of The Department Of Homeland Security. The Investigation Will Be Conducted By The Department Of Irony.

I Ate Two Waffles, A Banana And Cereal With Blueberries. And That Whas Between My Two Breakfasts.

Ignore What Other People Think. Most People Aren’t Even Paying Attention To You.

Well People Love To Go Dirty And Stuff Like That. It's Funny, Because Even Really Dirty Things Can Kind Of Inspire, But All Things Inspire Really Dirty Improv And Monologues. So Then Really Dirty Things Can Inspire The Exact Opposite. It's Kind Of A Crapshoot.

You Can't Stand Around And Wait To Be Asked To Dance.

Sleep Is Out... Tired Is The New Black.

Creativity Is Connected To Passion - That Light Inside That Drives You.

You Have To Care About How Good You Are And How Good You Feel, But Not About How Good People Think You Are Or How Good People Think You Look.

Creativity Is Connected To Your Passion, That Light Inside You That Drives You. That Joy That Comes When You Do Something You Love. That Small Voice That Tells You, 'i Like This. Do This Again. You Are Good At It. Keep Going.' That Is The Juicy Stuff That Lubricates Our Lives And Helps Us Feel Less Alone In The World.

Great People Do Things Before They're Ready...you Might Find Out Something About Yourself That's Really Special And If You're Not Good, Who Cares? You Tried Something.

Always Remember Your Kid’s Name. Always Remember Where You Put Your Kid. Don’t Let Your Kid Drive Until Their Feet Can Reach The Pedals. Use The Right Size Diapers…for Yourself. And, When In Doubt, Make Funny Faces.

I Was The Daughter Of Teachers, So School Was Always Very Important. I Liked It.

Watching Great People Do What You Love Is A Good Way To Start Learning How To Do It Yourself.

I Get A Bit Nervous Because I Just Want The Show To Go Well. I Think You Always Have To Be A Little Bit Nervous, Or Else You're A Little Checked-out, And That's Maybe The Time When You're Not Doing Your Best Stuff, Because You're Kind Of Just Checked-out And Falling Back On Stuff.

[at Boston College] I Started Working On The Kinds Of Skills That You Need For Comedy. It's About Being Creative And Learning To Use Your Gift For Being Able To Let Loose And Be Very Unself-conscious. It Took Me Time Though Before I Was Really Able To Get Comfortable Doing That.

I Do Not Improvise In Heels.

Sleep Helps You Win At Life.

Well, The First Thing We Do Is Take Our Brain Out And Put It In A Drawer. Stick It Somewhere And Let It Tantrum Until It Wears Itself Out. You May Still Hear The Brain And All The Shitty Things It Is Saying To You, But It Will Be Muffled, And Just The Fact That It Is Not In Your Head Anymore Will Make Things Seem Clearer. And Then You Just Do It.

It's Easier To Be Brave When You're Not Alone.

Treat Your Career Like A Bad Boyfriend... Your Career Wont Take Care Of You. It Won't Call You Back Or Introduce You To Its Parents. Your Career Will Openly Flirt With Other People While You Are Around... You Have To Care About Your Work, But Not About The Result. You Have To Care About How Good You Are And How Good You Feel, But Not About How Good People Think You Are Or How Good People Think You Look.

I've Failed A Million Times On Stage. I've Listened To Notes That I Knew Weren't Right. I've Pitched Ideas And Let Other People Change Them, Knowing That It Was The Wrong Choice. The Question You Have To Ask Yourself Is: How Do You Want To Fail? Do You Want To Fail In A Way That Feels Like It Respects Your Tastes And Value System?

I Find My Relationships At 40-plus Are Really Emulsified, Juicy Relationships Because You Have More Of A Sense Of Who You Are And Who You Want To Be Around.

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