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I've Said This Before, That, When You're In School And You're The Class Clown, Men Are Really Good At Making Fun At Other People And Women Are Really Good At Making Fun Of Themselves.

-Amy Poehler

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I've Said This Before,

Amy Poehler

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I've Said This Before, That, When You're In School And You're The Class Clown, Men Are Really Good At Making Fun At Other People And Women Are Really Good At Making Fun Of Themselves.

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In The Trial Of Saddam Hussein On Tuesday, Witnesses Emotionally Testified About The Abuse The Former Dictator Inflicted On Them. Afterward, A Tearful Saddam Said, 'ah, Good Times.'

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You Have To Be Where You Are To Get Where You Need To Go.

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Other People Are Not Medicine.

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If The Goal Is Doing Good Stuff And Working With Your Friends ... If You’re Doing That Then You’re Succeeding.

You Can't Stand Around And Wait To Be Asked To Dance.

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If Your Career Is A Bad Boyfriend, It Is Healthy To Remember You Can Always Leave And Go Sleep With Somebody Else.

If You Do A Scene And You Really Like A Character In It Or A Premise In It To Write It Down And To Work On It So That You Can Have Five Or Six Characters That You Can Pull Out In An Audition.

It's Nice To Be Short, Because People Expect Less From You.

Don't Think. Get Out Of Your Head. Stop Planning And Just Go.

Shame Makes People Abandon Their Children And Drink Themselves To Death. It Also Keeps Us From True Happiness. An Apology Is A Glorious Release.

The Pressure Of 'what Are You Going To Do?' Makes Everyone Feel Like They Haven't Done Anything Yet.

Sometimes You Need To Know To Quit While You're Ahead Or At Least Before Things Get Much Worse!

Make No A Complete Sentence.

My Idea Of The Perfect Exercise Class Is This: The Teacher Gives Us All A Hug And Goes, “you Did It! You Showed Up! Let’s Lie Down.” We All Lie Down And She’s Like, “how Is Everybody Feeling?” We’re Like, “great!” And The Teacher’s Like, “great!” Then We All Get To Leave 20 Minutes Early.

Most Authors Liken The Struggle Of Writing To Something Mighty And Macho, Like Wrestling A Bear. Writing A Book Is Nothing Like That. It Is A Small, Slow Crawl To The Finish Line. Honestly, I Have Moments When I Don't Even Care If Anyone Reads This Book. I Just Want To Finish It.

I Would Love To Do A Serious Period Drama. Oh, Absolutely. I Mean, You'll Find Most Comedians Want To Do More Serious Stuff, Most Musicians Want To Be Comedians, And Most Serious Actors Want To Be Musicians.

Rooting For Other People's Failure Does Get In The Way Of Your Success...when You Can Wish Good Things For People And Rejoice When They Get It, So Many Gifts And Blessings Come To You That You Can't Even Imagine.

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I Had No Idea How To Get Guys To Notice Me. I Still Don't. Who Cares?

Sleep Is Out... Tired Is The New Black.

I Grew Up Watching Skating All The Time In The Olympic Stuff.

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Try To Keep Your Mind Open To Possibilities And Your Mouth Closed On Matters That You Don't Know About. Limit Your 'always' And Your 'nevers.'

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Anyone Who Has The Kind Of Inventive And Inspired Comic Sensibility To Be Able To Do That Kind Of Work Must Be Pretty Talented.

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Do Work That You Are Proud Of With Your Talented Friends.

It Likes It When You Don’t Depend On It. It Will Reward You Every Time You Don’t Act Needy. It Will Chase You If You Act Like Other Things (passion, Friendship, Family, Longevity) Are More Important To You. If Your Career Is A Bad Boyfriend, It Is Healthy To Remember You Can Always Leave And Go Sleep With Somebody Else.

When You're Doing Sketch Comedy And You're Pregnant, It's Like Wearing A Giant Sombrero In Every Sketch.

If Boys Say Something That's Not Funny, You Don't Have To Laugh.

The Creation Of The Ucb Theatre Is By Far My Proudest Professional Accomplishment.

Great People Do Things Before They're Ready. They Do Things Before They Know They Can Do It. Doing What You're Afraid Of, Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone, Taking Risks Like That - That Is What Life Is. You Might Be Really Good. You Might Find Out Something About Yourself That's Really Special And If You're Not Good, Who Cares? You Tried Something. Now You Know Something About Yourself.

I Had Already Made A Decision Early On That I Would Be A Plain Girl With Tons Of Personality, And Accepting It Made Everything A Lot Easier. If You Are Lucky, There Is A Moment In Your Life When You Have Some Say As To What Your Currency Is Going To Be. I Decided Early On It Was Not Going To Be My Looks. I Have Spent A Lifetime Coming To Terms With This Idea And I Would Say I Am About 15 To 20 Percent There.decide What Your Currency Is Early. Let Go Of What You Will Never Have. People Who Do This Are Happier And Sexier.

No One Looks Stupid When They're Having Fun.

I Ate Two Waffles, A Banana And Cereal With Blueberries. And That Whas Between My Two Breakfasts.

Our Ego Is A Monster That Loves To Sit At The Head Of The Table, And I Have Learned That My Ego Is Just As Rude And Loud And Hungry As Everyone Else's. It Doesn't Matter How Much You Get; You Are Left Wanting More.

Sometimes Painful Things Can Teach Us Lessons That We Didn't Think We Needed To Know.

I Like To Do Things That Challenge Me And Make Me Nervous.

I Get Worried For Young Girls Sometimes; I Want Them To Feel That They Can Be Sassy And Full And Weird And Geeky And Smart And Independent, And Not So Withered And Shriveled.

I Don't Think A Man Who Is Fifteen Years Younger Than Me Should Tell Me He Is Proud Of Me Unless He Is My Sober Coach Or My Time-travel Dad.

Doing What You're Afraid Of, Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone, Taking Risks Like That- That's What Life Is.

I Love My Boys So Much I Fear My Heart Will Explode. I Wonder If This Love Will Crack Open My Chest And Split Me In Half. It Is Scary, This Love.

Girls, If A Boy Says Something That Isn't Funny, You Don't Have To Laugh.

I Am A Firm Believer That Every Few Years One Needs To Shake One's Life Through A Sieve, Like A Miner In The Yukon. The Gold Nuggets Remain. The Rest Falls Through Like The Soft Earth It Is.

It's Not Communism, It's Shouldn't Be That Everybody Gets A Try No Matter How Good Or Bad They Are. It's Our Profession And Our Art, So We Should Eventually Strive To Be Working With The Best People.

When Something Feels Really Big, Too Big To Handle, Just Go Very Small. Just Go Real Small, Just Look At The Person Next To You And Look In Their Eyes And Meet The Person Next To You, Find Out Their Name, Change One Person's Life And Make One Call, Write One Letter, Give One Dollar. Whatever Small Thing Feels Like What You Can Do - It Changes The Course Of The Ship And That Is All It Is.

The Great Thing About Taking Big Chances When You're Younger Is You Have Less To Lose, And You Don't Know As Much. So You Take Big Swings.

Funny Inspirational

Keep Your Virginity For As Long As You Can, Until It Starts To Feel Weird To You. Then Just Get It Over With.

Only At The Golden Globes Do The Beautiful People Of Film Rub Shoulders With The Rat-faced People In Television.

It’s Very Hard To Have Ideas. It’s Very Hard To Put Yourself Out There, It’s Very Hard To Be Vulnerable, But Those People Who Do That Are The Dreamers, The Thinkers And The Creators. They Are The Magic People Of The World.

Take Your Risks Now; As You Become Older, You Become More Fearful And Less Flexible. And I Mean That Literally. I Hurt My Knee This Week On The Treadmill, And It Wasn't Even On.

The Earlier You Learn That You Should Focus On What You Have, And Not Obsess About What You Don't Have, The Happier You Will Be.

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