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In The Trial Of Saddam Hussein On Tuesday, Witnesses Emotionally Testified About The Abuse The Former Dictator Inflicted On Them. Afterward, A Tearful Saddam Said, 'ah, Good Times.'

-Amy Poehler

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In The Trial Of

Amy Poehler

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In The Trial Of Saddam Hussein On Tuesday, Witnesses Emotionally Testified About The Abuse The Former Dictator Inflicted On Them. Afterward, A Tearful Saddam Said, 'ah, Good Times.'

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When Youre A Stay-at-home Mother You Have To Pretend Its Really Boring, But Its Not. Its Enriching And Fulfilling, And An Amazing Experience. And Then When Youre A Working Mother You Have To Pretend That You Feel Guilty All Day Long.

My Phone Is Trying To Kill Me. It Is A Battery-charged Rectangle Of Disappointment And Possibility. It Is A Technological Pacifier.

President Bush On Monday Defended U.s. Interrogation Of Terrorists, Saying 'we Do Not Torture.' He Added, 'we Freedom Electrocute.'

When Young Girls Are Encouraged To Explore What They Find Interesting, They Grow Up To Be Interesting Women.

I Used To Get My Hair Dyed At A Place Called Big Hair. It Cost $15. They Just Used Straight Bleach, So My Hair Was The Color Of White Lined Paper, And My Eyebrows Looked Like They Were Done With A Thick Black Marker.

I Had To Come To Terms With How I Saw Myself. I Had To Understand That I Wasn't Pretty Or Beautiful Like Most Actresses And That I Shouldn't Care About Whether Other People Found Me Attractive Or Not.

During An Interview With Katie Couric Tuesday, Sarah Palin Says She Is Not Opposed To Gay People, Adding 'one Of My Absolute Best Friends For The Last 30 Years Happens To Be Gay And I Love Her Dearly And She Doesn't Exist.'

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Too Often We Women Try To Tackle Chaos That Is Not Ours To Fix.

Only At The Golden Globes Do The Beautiful People Of Film Rub Shoulders With The Rat-faced People In Television.

It Is Time To Leave. Oprah Has Spoken.

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Doing What You're Afraid Of, Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone, Taking Risks Like That- That's What Life Is.

Forgiveness Is Something That's Always Possibility.

I'm Going To Do 'the Social Network Two: The Electric Boogaloo.' And I Have A Part In 'beige Swan.' I'm Going To Be The Lead, But I Don't Dance. I Just Do A Lot Of Sitting Down. It's Too Tiring To Get Up And Dance Around. That Should Be Coming Out In 20-never.

I Think Going From Laughing To Crying To Laughing To Crying - Making Those Quick Turns Adds Years To Your Life.

I Like Hard Work And I Don’t Like Pretending Things Are Perfect.

I Think Chemistry Is About Not Acting, But Reacting, And Not Talking, But Listening.

As An Actor, You Can Certainly, At Any Moment And At Any Time, Discover 400 People Who Think You're Stupid, Fat And Ugly.

Calling People 'sweetheart' Makes Most People Enraged.

You Have To Remember That Goodbyes Are Temporary Because No One Ever Really Leaves And Nothing Lasts Forever. People Are Always With Us, Because They Are In Our Hearts And In Our Memory. The Only Thing We Can Depend On Is Change... Life Is Just A Series Of Moments -- A String Of Pearls That Make Up The Necklace Of Your Life And So Every Once In A While, To Complete The Circle, You Need To End A Chapter.

I Grew Up Watching Skating All The Time In The Olympic Stuff.

When You Host A Show You Have To Hopefully Be Funny At The Top And Set The Tone For A Really Fun Evening.

Great People Do Things Before They're Ready...you Might Find Out Something About Yourself That's Really Special And If You're Not Good, Who Cares? You Tried Something.

Being Snubbed Is Not Always A Bad Thing At Awards Shows Because You End Up Getting A Lot Of People Coming Up To You And Telling You How Great You Are.

Listen. Say Yes. Live In The Moment. Make Sure You Play With People Who Have Your Back. Make Big Choices Early And Often.

Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used.

When You're Betrayed There's A Period Of Shame And Then There's Always Forgiveness.

I Asked People Who Have Already Finished Books For Advice, Which Is Akin To Asking A Mother With A Four-year-old What Childbirth Is Like.

Believe Me, Blond Hair Can Take You Really Far, Especially With The Older Men. It Can Really Distract From The Face. I Am Convinced I Could Have Had Sex With Both Tony Bennett And John Mccain If We Weren't Each Happily Married At The Time We All Met.

Always Remember Your Kid's Name.

Opening Your Heart And Being Courageous And Telling People That You Care About Them Or Like Them Or That You Think They're Special Only Makes You A Better, Bigger, Kinder, Softer, More Loving Person, And Only Attracts More Love Into Your Life.

Find A Group Of People Who Challenge And Inspire You, Spend A Lot Of Time With Them, And It Will Change Your Life.

People Who Read Are People Who Dream, And We Connect Through The Stories We Live And Tell And Read.

Always Remember Your Kid’s Name. Always Remember Where You Put Your Kid. Don’t Let Your Kid Drive Until Their Feet Can Reach The Pedals. Use The Right Size Diapers…for Yourself. And, When In Doubt, Make Funny Faces.

You Can't Stand Around And Wait To Be Asked To Dance.

That Is The Motto Women Should Constantly Repeat Over And Over Again. 'good For Her! Not For Me.'

When Your Children Arrive, The Best You Can Hope For Is That They Break Open Everything About You. Your Mind Floods With Oxygen. Your Heart Becomes A Room With Wide-open Windows. You Laugh Hard Every Day.

I Believe Great People Do Things Before They Are Ready.

Vulnerable People Are Powerful People. Opening Your Heart And Sharing It Means You're Going To Get So Much Love In Your Life. And It's The Way To True Connection And Real Purpose And Meaning In Your Life, In My Opinion.

Masters Of Sex Is The Degree I Got From Boston College.

In The Wake Of Newly-alleged Prisoner Abuse This Week, Senator John Mccain Said That Continued Mistreatment Of Iraqi Prisoners Is Hurting The Nation's Image. Also Hurting The Nation's Image: Letting People Drown When It Rains.

If You Can Speak About What You Care About To A Person You Disagree With Without Denigrating Them Or Insulting Them, Then You May Actually Be Heard.

If You're A Good Improviser, You Improvise Well Enough That People Think That You're Doing A Sketch.

I Know Enough Now To Know I Know Nothing.

Creativity Is Connected To Passion - That Light Inside That Drives You.

It Takes Years As A Woman To Unlearn What You Have Been Taught To Be Sorry For.

Do Work That You Are Proud Of With Your Talented Friends.

Prince Harry This Week Toured The Jersey Shore With New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. It Was The First Meeting Between The Prince, Of The House Of Windsor, And The Governor, Of The House Of Pancake.

I Think We Should Stop Asking People In Their 20s What They 'want To Do' And Start Asking Them What They Don't Want To Do. Instead Of Asking Students To 'declare Their Major' We Should Ask Students To 'list What They Will Do Anything To Avoid.' It Just Makes A Lot More Sense.

I Get A Little Itchy If I Don't Have Some Control.

Take Your Risks Now; As You Become Older, You Become More Fearful And Less Flexible. And I Mean That Literally. I Hurt My Knee This Week On The Treadmill, And It Wasn't Even On.

I Have A Boyfriend Who Knows How To Settle Me. He Puts His Hand On My Chest And Tells Me Boring Stories. On One Of Our First Nights Together I Woke Up Apologizing For My Snoring And He Pulled Out Two Earplugs He Had Worn To Bed So He Could Hear What I Was Saying.

Your Career And Your Passion Don't Always Match Up. Plenty Of Talented People Don't Have The Careers They Want. Plenty Of Untalented People Make Millions And Make Movies. There Is A Difference Between Determination And Talent.

In My Twenties I Tried Cocaine, Which I Instantly Loved But Eventually Hated. Cocaine Is Terrific If You Want To Hang Out With People You Don't Know Very Well And Play Ping-pong All Night. It's Bad For Almost Everything Else.

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President Bush Threw Out The First Pitch Monday At Cincinnati's Great American Ball Park. 18 Iraqis Were Killed.

I Had Already Made A Decision Early On That I Would Be A Plain Girl With Tons Of Personality, And Accepting It Made Everything A Lot Easier. If You Are Lucky, There Is A Moment In Your Life When You Have Some Say As To What Your Currency Is Going To Be. I Decided Early On It Was Not Going To Be My Looks. I Have Spent A Lifetime Coming To Terms With This Idea And I Would Say I Am About 15 To 20 Percent There.decide What Your Currency Is Early. Let Go Of What You Will Never Have. People Who Do This Are Happier And Sexier.

Everybody Is Interesting When They Are Interested In Something.

You Can't Look Stupid If You're Having Fun.

[at Boston College] I Started Working On The Kinds Of Skills That You Need For Comedy. It's About Being Creative And Learning To Use Your Gift For Being Able To Let Loose And Be Very Unself-conscious. It Took Me Time Though Before I Was Really Able To Get Comfortable Doing That.

The Computer Is The New Fireplace, Everyone In The Family Gathers Around The Digital Hearth For Warmth.

Try Putting Your Iphones Down Every Once In A While And Look At People's Faces.

Funny Graduation

If The Goal Is Doing Good Stuff And Working With Your Friends ... If You’re Doing That Then You’re Succeeding.

Sleep Is Out... Tired Is The New Black.

I Have Realized That Mystery Is What Keeps People Away, And I've Grown Tired Of Smoke And Mirrors. I Yearn For The Clean, Well-lighted Place. So Let's Peek Behind The Curtain And Hail The Others Like Us. The Open-faced Sandwiches Who Take Risks And Live Big And Smile With All Of Their Teeth. These Are The People I Want To Be Around. This Is The Honest Way I Want To Live And Love And Write.

When You Feel Scared, Hold Someone's Hand And Look Into Their Eyes. And When You Feel Brave, Do The Same Thing. You Are All Here Because You Are Smart. And You Are Brave. And If You Add Kindness And The Ability To Change A Tire, You Almost Make Up The Perfect Person.

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I Do Not Improvise In Heels.

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I Think If You Can Dance And Be Free And Not Embarrassed, You Can Rule The World.

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It Doesn't Matter How Much You Get; You Are Left Wanting More.

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Looking Silly Can Be Ver Powerful. People Who Are Committing And Taking Risks Become The King And Queen Of My Prom. People Are Their Most Beautiful When They Are Laughing, Crying, Dancing, Playing, Telling The Truth, And Being Chased In A Fun Way.

I've Failed A Million Times On Stage. I've Listened To Notes That I Knew Weren't Right. I've Pitched Ideas And Let Other People Change Them, Knowing That It Was The Wrong Choice. The Question You Have To Ask Yourself Is: How Do You Want To Fail? Do You Want To Fail In A Way That Feels Like It Respects Your Tastes And Value System?

It's Easier To Be Brave When You're Not Alone.

Any Painful Experience Makes You See Things Differently. It Also Reminds You Of The Simple Truths That We Purposely Forget Every Day Or Else We Would Never Get Out Of Bed.

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I Don’t Really Believe In Cars, But I Drive One Every Day And I Love That It Gets Me Places And Makes Life So Much Easier And Faster And I Don’t Know What I Would Do Without It.

You Aren't Allowed To Feel Special, But No One Knows The Specific Ways You Are In Pain.

I Hate Halloween. I Hate Dressing Up. I Hate - I Wear Wigs, Makeup, Costumes Every Day. Halloween Is Like, My Least Favorite Holiday.

I Love My Boys So Much I Fear My Heart Will Explode. I Wonder If This Love Will Crack Open My Chest And Split Me In Half. It Is Scary, This Love.

I've Always Dreamed Of Growing Up To Be Amy Poehler.

Funny Inspirational

Telling Me To Relax Or Smile When I'm Angry Is Like Bringing A Birthday Cake Into An Ape Sanctuary. You're Just Asking To Get Your Nose And Genitals Bitten Off.

Anybody Who Doesn't Make You Feel Good, Kick Them To The Curb. And The Earlier You Start In Your Life, The Better.

A New Poll Reveals That 56% Of Americans Believe That Wal-mart Is Bad For The Country, While The Other 44% Work There.

Education Is Power, It Changes Your Whole Life, It Can Create A Life For Yourself. So The More Educated You Are, The More You Learn About What You Care About, You Become A More Caring Person. And If You Can Speak About What You Care About To A Person You Disagree With, Without Denigrating Or Insulting Them, Then You May Actually Be Heard. And You May Even Change Their Mind, Or They May Change Yours.

A Person's Tragedy Does Not Make Up Their Entire Life. A Story Carves Deep Grooves Into Our Brains Each Time We Tell It. But We Aren't One Story. We Can Change Our Stories. We Can Write Our Own.

Creativity Is Connected To Your Passion, That Light Inside You That Drives You. . . . Your Creativity Is Not A Bad Boyfriend. It Is A Really Warm Older Hispanic Lady Who Has A Beautiful Laugh And Loves To Hug.

Because Of Various Security Lapses, Some Senators Are Calling For A Probe Of The Security At The Offices Of The Department Of Homeland Security. The Investigation Will Be Conducted By The Department Of Irony.

Most Of The Women In Your Life Will Outlast The Men In Your Life. The Saturday Night Live Ladies - Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Tina - And I Text Pictures Of Our Kids Back And Forth All The Time. It Keeps Us Connected. As My Nanny Used To Say, The Older You Get, The More Important It Is To Know People That Knew You When.

I'd Like To Think That I Don't Have A Stock Character That I Go To. I'm Lucky In That When You Get To Initiate Your Own Scene, You Get To Play Whoever You Want. That's Really Kind Of Cool, But All My Characters Are Short. I Look On The Videotape, And I Thought They Were Taller, But They're All 5'2".

Both Conservatives And Liberals Watch 'parks And Recreation,' And They Each Think The Show Is For Them, Which Is Really Cool. 'snl' Was Totally Different. It Was Exciting Because Everyone Was Paying Attention. Political Humor Works When People Know What You're Talking About.

If Boys Say Something That's Not Funny, You Don't Have To Laugh.

I Want Girls To Feel That They Can Be Sassy And Full And Weird And Geeky And Smart And Independent, And Not So Withered And Shriveled. (the American Apparel Ads) I'm Over This Weird, Exhausted Girl. I'm Over The Girl That's Tired And Freezing And Hungry. I Like Bossy Girls. I Like People Filled With Life. I'm Over This Weird Media Thing With All This, Like, Hollow-eyed, Empty, Party Crap.

I Find My Relationships At 40-plus Are Really Emulsified, Juicy Relationships Because You Have More Of A Sense Of Who You Are And Who You Want To Be Around.

Career Is The Stringing Together Of Opportunities And Jobs. Mix In Public Opinion And Past Regrets. Add A Dash Of Future Panic And A Whole Lot Of Financial Uncertainty. Career Is Something That Fools You Into Thinking You Are In Control And Then Takes Pleasure In Reminding You That You Aren't. Career Is The Thing That Will Not Fill You Up And Will Never Make You Truly Whole.

Nice Manners Are The Secret Keys To The Universe.

I Also Love Being Able To Do Something That Kids And Families Can Enjoy Because I Have Two Children Of My Own And I Want Them To Grow Up Watching All The Fabulous Animated Movies And Cartoons That I Loved To Watch As A Kid.

I Don't Think A Man Who Is Fifteen Years Younger Than Me Should Tell Me He Is Proud Of Me Unless He Is My Sober Coach Or My Time-travel Dad.

Going From Crying To Laughing That Fast And Hard Happens Maybe Five Times In Your Life And That Extreme Right Turn Is The Reason Why We Are Alive, And I Believe It Extends Our Life By Many Years.

I've Grown Tired Of Smoke And Mirrors. I Yearn For The Clean, Well-lighted Place.

Great People Do Things Before They’re Ready. They Do Things Before They Know They Can Do It.

I Have These Meetings With Really Powerful Men And They Ask Me All The Time, 'where Are Your Kids? Are Your Kids Here?' it's Such A Weird Question. Never In A Million Years Do I Ask Guys Where Their Kids Are. It Would Be Comparable To Me Going To A Guy, 'do You Feel Like You See Your Kids Enough?'

Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used. And Don't Try To Give Me That Nerd Argument That Your Heart Is A 'batman' With A Limited-edition Silver Bat-erang And Therefore If It Stays In Its Original Packing It Increases In Value.

I Love Bossy Women. Some People Hate The Word, And I Understand How "bossy" Can Seem Like A Shitty Way To Describe A Woman With A Determined Point Of View, But For Me, A Bossy Woman Is Someone To Search Out And Celebrate. A Bossy Woman Is Someone Who Cares And Commits And Is A Natural Leader.

Please Don't Drive Drunk, Okay? Seriously... But By All Means, Walk Drunk. That Looks Hilarious. Everyone Loves To Watch Someone Act Like They Are Trying To Make It To Safety During A Hurricane.

I Am Interested In People Who Swim In The Deep End. I Want To Have Conversations About Real Things With People Who Have Experienced Real Things. I'm Tired Of Talking About Movies And Gossiping About Friends. Life Is Crunchy And Complicated And All The More Delicious.

The Great Thing About Taking Big Chances When You're Younger Is You Have Less To Lose, And You Don't Know As Much. So You Take Big Swings.

Funny Inspirational

Aw, I Feel Bad If [taylor] Was Upset. I Am A Feminist, And She Is A Young And Talented Girl. That Being Said, I Do Agree I Am Going To Hell. But For Other Reasons. Mostly Boring Tax Stuff.

Anger And Embarrassment Are Often Neighbors.

In Conclusion, I Invite The Media To All Grow A Pair. And If You Can't, I Will Lend You Mine.

You Can Tell Someone You Love Them First. You Can Try To Speak Only The Truth For A Whole Week. You Can Jump Out Of An Airplane Or Spend Christmas Day All By Your Lonesome. You Can Help People Who Need Help And Fight Real Bad Guys. You Can Dance Fast Or Take An Improv Class Or Do One Of Those Ironman Things… Adventure And Danger Can Be Good For Your Heart And Soul.

No One Looks Stupid When They're Having Fun.

Hey, Guess What? Turns Out The Free Market? Not So Free. Wall Street Was Hit Hard Monday When Lehman Brothers Filed For Bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch Was Sold To Bank Of America, And Insurance Giant Aig Neared A Collapse Of Its Own. Basically, If Your Commercials Air During Golf Tournaments, You're Done.

I Was The Daughter Of Teachers, So School Was Always Very Important. I Liked It.

When In Doubt, Make Funny Faces.

I Like Bossy Girls. I Always Have. I Like People Filled With Life.

Rooting For Other People's Failure Does Get In The Way Of Your Success...when You Can Wish Good Things For People And Rejoice When They Get It, So Many Gifts And Blessings Come To You That You Can't Even Imagine.

When You're Doing Sketch Comedy And You're Pregnant, It's Like Wearing A Giant Sombrero In Every Sketch.

Everyone Needs Love, Never Hurt A Living Thing [and] Don’t Worry About The Choices You Make Because Everything Will Be Fun Because Life Is A Closet Filled With Pool Toys.

To Some People, Not Caring Is Supposed To Be Cool, Commenting Is More Interesting Than Doing, And Everything Is Judged And Then Disposed Of In, Like, Five Minutes. I'm Not Interested In Those Kinds Of People. I Like The Person Who Commits And Goes All In And Takes Big Swings And Then Maybe Fails Or Looks Stupid; Who Jumps And Falls Down, Rather Than The Person Who Points At The Person Who Fell, And Laughs. But I Do Sometimes Laugh When People Fall Down.

I Would Love To Do A Serious Period Drama. Oh, Absolutely. I Mean, You'll Find Most Comedians Want To Do More Serious Stuff, Most Musicians Want To Be Comedians, And Most Serious Actors Want To Be Musicians.

Stop Whining About Getting Old. It's A Privilege. A Lot Of People Who Are Dead Wish They Were Still Alive.

We Were Also Performing. We'd Give Them A List Of, Like, 'here's How We Want To Be Introduced' They'd Be Like, 'great' And Then 5 Minutes Later They'd Come Back, 'bad News: We Lost Your List. But Good News: We've Got A Trash Bag Full Of Weed!'

Continue To Share Your Heart With People Even If It's Been Broken.

However, If You Do Start Crying In An Argument And Someone Asks Why, You Can Always Say, 'i'm Just Crying Because Of How Wrong You Are.'

There's Something So Romantic About Being Broke In New York. You Gotta Do It. You Have To Live There Once Without Any Money, And Then You Have To Live There When You Have Money. Let Me Tell You, Of The Two, The Latter Is Far Better.

I Am A Firm Believer That Every Few Years One Needs To Shake One's Life Through A Sieve, Like A Miner In The Yukon. The Gold Nuggets Remain. The Rest Falls Through Like The Soft Earth It Is.

Don't Think. Get Out Of Your Head. Stop Planning And Just Go.

According To Washington Insiders, White House Press Secretary Scott Mcclellan Could Be The Next Official To Leave The Bush Administration. Mcclellan Says He'd Like To Spend More Time Lying For His Family

I Moved To Chicago In The Early 1990s And I Studied Improvisation There. I Learned Some Rules That I Try To Apply Still Today: Listen. Say Yes. Live In The Moment. Make Sure You Play With People Who Have Your Back. Make Big Choices Early And Often. Don't Start A Scene Where Two People Are Talking About Jumping Out Of A Plane. Start The Scene Having Already Jumped. If You're Scared, Look Into Your Partner's Eyes — You Will Feel Better.

I Cannot Stress Enough That The Answer To Life's Questions Is Often In People's Faces. Try Putting Your Iphones Down Once In A While, And Look In People's Faces. People's Faces Will Tell You Amazing Things. Like If They Are Angry, Or Nauseous Or Asleep.

It's Nice To Be Short, Because People Expect Less From You.

It's Not Communism, It's Shouldn't Be That Everybody Gets A Try No Matter How Good Or Bad They Are. It's Our Profession And Our Art, So We Should Eventually Strive To Be Working With The Best People.

Emotions Are Like Passing Storms, And You Have To Remind Yourself That It Won't Rain Forever. You Just Have To Sit Down And Watch It Pour Outside And Then Peek Your Head Out When It Looks Dry.

Open-faced Sandwiches Take Risks And Live Big And Smile With All Their Teeth. These Are The People I Want To Be Around.

I Had No Idea How To Get Guys To Notice Me. I Still Don't. Who Cares?

If Your Career Is A Bad Boyfriend, It Is Healthy To Remember You Can Always Leave And Go Sleep With Somebody Else.

We [with Les Charles] Started Talking About Hotel Stories, And We Found That A Lot Of The Action Was Happening In The Hotel Bar. We Actually Thought Of That While We Were In A Bar: "why Would Anyone Ever Leave Here?"

Dreams Never Wear You Down.

Other People Are Not Medicine.

Meryl Streep Is Not Here Tonight. She Has The Flu - And I Hear She's Amazing In It.

A Bossy Woman Is Someone To Search Out And Celebrate. A Bossy Woman Is Someone Who Cares And Commits And Is A Natural Leader.

If You Do A Scene And You Really Like A Character In It Or A Premise In It To Write It Down And To Work On It So That You Can Have Five Or Six Characters That You Can Pull Out In An Audition.

The Pressure Of 'what Are You Going To Do?' Makes Everyone Feel Like They Haven't Done Anything Yet.

I Am Tired Of Being Tired And Talking About How Tired I Am.

The Earlier You Learn That You Should Focus On What You Have, And Not Obsess About What You Don't Have, The Happier You Will Be.

It's Very Hard To Watch Comedy For Me, When I'm Doing A Comedy Show, Because I Either Watch A Show And I Love It, And I'm Jealous, Or I Watch A Show And I See All The Problems With It, And I'm Angry That I Watched It.

Some People Get In The Way Of Change Happening. Some People Spend Their Whole Careers Thinking They Can Make A Difference. Other People Want To Do As Little As Possible To Get The Day Done.

Be Yourself! And Then Tell Us About It! And Then Let's Dance!

I Also Think If You're An Actor And You Can Improvise, When You Go On An Audition And You Can Improvise You're Just A Genius. If You Can, You Know, Take A Tide Commercial And You Can Just Say One Funny Line That's Not In The Commercial They Think You're A Genius.

You Deserve Love And You'll Get It.

You Become More Attractive When You Love Yourself. You Attract The Right Things When You Have A Sense Of Who You Are.

It Seems A Strange Thing, But Once I Was Able To Get Past That Kind Of Self-image Problem, I Was Able To Open Up In My Comedy Work And Just Go All Out, Take Chances, And Have Fun With The Performance Aspect Of That.

I Like To Do Things That Challenge Me And Make Me Nervous.

Shame Makes People Abandon Their Children And Drink Themselves To Death. It Also Keeps Us From True Happiness. An Apology Is A Glorious Release.

Saying "yes" Doesn't Mean I Don't Know How To Say No, And Saying "please" Doesn't Mean I Am Waiting For Permission.

When I Had A Job Catering, I Catered A Wedding For The Smashing Pumpkins Bassist In Indiana. And I Served Billy Corgan Shrimp Off A Tray.

Talented Men Are Not Threatened By Talented Women. They Welcome Them. And Same Way With Real Men.

Try To Keep Your Mind Open To Possibilities And Your Mouth Closed On Matters That You Don't Know About. Limit Your 'always' And Your 'nevers.'

Sleep Can Completely Change Your Entire Outlook On Life. One Good Night's Sleep Can Help You Realize That You Shouldn't Break Up With Someone, Or You Are Being Too Hard On Your Friend, Or You Actually Will Win The Race Or The Game Or Get The Job. Sleep Helps You Win At Life.

I Love Saying 'yes' And I Love Saying 'please.' Saying 'yes' Doesn't Mean I Don't Know How To Say No, And Saying 'please' Doesn't Mean I Am Waiting For Permission. 'yes Please' Sounds Powerful And Concise. It's A Response And A Request. It Is Not About Being A Good Girl; It Is About Being A Real Woman.

I Get A Bit Nervous Because I Just Want The Show To Go Well. I Think You Always Have To Be A Little Bit Nervous, Or Else You're A Little Checked-out, And That's Maybe The Time When You're Not Doing Your Best Stuff, Because You're Kind Of Just Checked-out And Falling Back On Stuff.

I Don't Watch A Lot Of Comedy. For Relaxation And Escape, I Watch Shows About How People Survive Bear Attacks. Or Old Episodes Of 'law And Order,' The Benjamin Bratt/jerry Orbach Era.

It’s Never Overreacting To Ask For What You Want And Need.

Reading Was A Way To Make Friends Or Enemies, A Way To Discover How All These Different People Exist In The World And To Rub Shoulders With Them. The Ability To Feel As If You Have Met Someone, As If That Person Exists In Flesh And Blood And That You Relate To Them Somehow, Makes You Feel A Lot Less Lonely. And It Also Makes You Feel Very Brave.

Sometimes You Have To Kind Of Keep Proving That You're Improvising. That's The Game, Or The Goal, Of Long-form Tv Improv, Is That You Have To Kind Of Keep Reminding And Showing People That You're Improvising, Because They Won't Believe You Really.

Creativity Is Connected To Your Passion, That Light Inside You That Drives You. That Joy That Comes When You Do Something You Love. That Small Voice That Tells You, 'i Like This. Do This Again. You Are Good At It. Keep Going.' That Is The Juicy Stuff That Lubricates Our Lives And Helps Us Feel Less Alone In The World.

Don't Start A Scene Where Two People Are Talking About Jumping Out Of A Plane. Start The Scene Having Already Jumped. If You Are Scared, Look Into Your Partner's Eyes. You Will Feel Better.

If You Can Surf Your Life Rather Than Plant Your Feet, You Will Be Happier.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin Said That New Orleans, When Rebuilt, Will Be A Chocolate City. And He Will Be The Delicious Nut In The Center.

When I Began Doing Theatre In High School I Saw That I Could Get Laughs From People But I Didn't Really Connect That To Going On And Becoming A Comedian. I Was Interested In Acting And While I Was At Boston College I Was Part Of An Improv Group, Mother's Fleabag, Which Had A Long History And Has Been Known As One Of The Best College Improvisation Groups In The U.s.

Just Breathe. Sometimes You're Only A Few Breaths Away From Feeling Better.

So, If You're Doing Good Longform With Talented People Than You Can Step Out And You Can Be The President Or A Construction Worker And People Accept That. It's Really The Roles You Give Yourself.

Construction Workers

I'd Say Any Good Set Or Any Comedy That I've Worked On, That's Worked, Has Been Comedians Pitching Ideas Back And Forth To Each Other. A Lot Of Like, 'what If You Say This? What About This?'

We May All Host Ourselves To Death, And If We're All Dead Who Will Host Our Funerals?

It’s Very Hard To Have Ideas. It’s Very Hard To Put Yourself Out There, It’s Very Hard To Be Vulnerable, But Those People Who Do That Are The Dreamers, The Thinkers And The Creators. They Are The Magic People Of The World.

Make No A Complete Sentence.

As You Navigate Through The Rest Of Your Life, Be Open To Collaboration. Other People And Other People's Ideas Are Often Better Than Your Own. Find A Group Of People Who Challenge And Inspire You, Spend A Lot Of Time With Them, And It Will Change Your Life.

I Want To Be Around People Who Dream And Support And Do Things.

If I Wanted To See Jonah Hill Masturbate At A Pool Party, I'd Go To One Of Jonah Hill's Pool Parties.

The Desire To Work With Burrows-charles Was Really To Change Nbc's Identity, To Say, "we Want To Be In The Sophisticated-adult-comedy Business."

A Top Mccain Policy Adviser Claimed This Week That Mccain's Work In The Senate Helped Create The Blackberry, Saying, 'you're Looking At The Miracle That John Mccain Helped Create.' He Then Handed The Blackberry To Mccain, Who Attempted To Withdraw $20 From It.

I Really Do Believe That Anything In Life - Any Obstacle Or Challenge - Can Be Made Better With Humor.

The Truth Is, Writing Is This: Hard And Boring And Occasionally Great But Usually Not.

The French Have Launched Their Own Version Of Google, Called Quaero. You Just Type In The Subject You're Interested In, And Quaero Refuses To Look It Up For You.

The Federal Government Began Investigating Allegations Of Fraud Against The Coalition Provisional Authority, A U.s. Contractor Accused In A Bid-rigging Operation Involving Millions Of Dollars. Asked To Comment, A Spokesperson For Halliburton Said, 'millions? With An M? That Is Adorable.'

Earlier Today Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean Became The New Head Of The Democratic National Committee -- No Word On Who Will Be The Neck.

In A Recent Valentine's Day Posting On Her Fan Website, Britney Spears Says That - Oh, Who Cares?

Rooting For Other People's Failure Does Get In The Way Of Your Success.

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