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Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used. And Don't Try To Give Me That Nerd Argument That Your Heart Is A 'batman' With A Limited-edition Silver Bat-erang And Therefore If It Stays In Its Original Packing It Increases In Value.

-Amy Poehler

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Don't Treat Your Heart

Amy Poehler

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Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used. And Don't Try To Give Me That Nerd Argument That Your Heart Is A 'batman' With A Limited-edition Silver Bat-erang And Therefore If It Stays In Its Original Packing It Increases In Value.

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During An Interview With Katie Couric Tuesday, Sarah Palin Says She Is Not Opposed To Gay People, Adding 'one Of My Absolute Best Friends For The Last 30 Years Happens To Be Gay And I Love Her Dearly And She Doesn't Exist.'

The Process Of Divorce Is About Loading That Blanket, Throwing It Up, Watching It All Spin, And Worrying What Stuff Will Break When It Lands.

Great People Do Things Before They're Ready. They Do Things Before They Know They Can Do It. Doing What You're Afraid Of, Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone, Taking Risks Like That - That Is What Life Is. You Might Be Really Good. You Might Find Out Something About Yourself That's Really Special And If You're Not Good, Who Cares? You Tried Something. Now You Know Something About Yourself.

Sleep Can Completely Change Your Entire Outlook On Life. One Good Night's Sleep Can Help You Realize That You Shouldn't Break Up With Someone, Or You Are Being Too Hard On Your Friend, Or You Actually Will Win The Race Or The Game Or Get The Job. Sleep Helps You Win At Life.

In My Twenties I Tried Cocaine, Which I Instantly Loved But Eventually Hated. Cocaine Is Terrific If You Want To Hang Out With People You Don't Know Very Well And Play Ping-pong All Night. It's Bad For Almost Everything Else.

[at Boston College] I Started Working On The Kinds Of Skills That You Need For Comedy. It's About Being Creative And Learning To Use Your Gift For Being Able To Let Loose And Be Very Unself-conscious. It Took Me Time Though Before I Was Really Able To Get Comfortable Doing That.

There's Nothing Like Watching A Live Performance Of, Frankly, Anything. You Have To Make Sure That People Believe Everything Is Improvised. I Could Not Stress Enough How Little We [actors] Prepare And What Small Amount Of Time We Put In Before These Shows.

If You Can Speak About What You Care About To A Person You Disagree With Without Denigrating Them Or Insulting Them, Then You May Actually Be Heard.

Earlier Today Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean Became The New Head Of The Democratic National Committee -- No Word On Who Will Be The Neck.

Career Is The Stringing Together Of Opportunities And Jobs. Mix In Public Opinion And Past Regrets. Add A Dash Of Future Panic And A Whole Lot Of Financial Uncertainty. Career Is Something That Fools You Into Thinking You Are In Control And Then Takes Pleasure In Reminding You That You Aren't. Career Is The Thing That Will Not Fill You Up And Will Never Make You Truly Whole.

I Lived In Chicago For A Few Years And Got A Sense Of - Kind Of That Broad-shouldered, Windy, Um, Stern, Midwestern, Warm-slash-passive Aggressive, Wonderful - Every Adjective I Can Think Of, Very Cold.

I Have These Meetings With Really Powerful Men And They Ask Me All The Time, 'where Are Your Kids? Are Your Kids Here?' it's Such A Weird Question. Never In A Million Years Do I Ask Guys Where Their Kids Are. It Would Be Comparable To Me Going To A Guy, 'do You Feel Like You See Your Kids Enough?'

Don't Treat Your Heart Like An Action Figure Wrapped In Plastic And Never Used. And Don't Try To Give Me That Nerd Argument That Your Heart Is A 'batman' With A Limited-edition Silver Bat-erang And Therefore If It Stays In Its Original Packing It Increases In Value.

When I Had A Job Catering, I Catered A Wedding For The Smashing Pumpkins Bassist In Indiana. And I Served Billy Corgan Shrimp Off A Tray.

People Who Read Are People Who Dream, And We Connect Through The Stories We Live And Tell And Read.

When In Doubt, Make Funny Faces.

Please Don't Drive Drunk, Okay? Seriously... But By All Means, Walk Drunk. That Looks Hilarious. Everyone Loves To Watch Someone Act Like They Are Trying To Make It To Safety During A Hurricane.

You Have To Remember That Goodbyes Are Temporary Because No One Ever Really Leaves And Nothing Lasts Forever. People Are Always With Us, Because They Are In Our Hearts And In Our Memory. The Only Thing We Can Depend On Is Change... Life Is Just A Series Of Moments -- A String Of Pearls That Make Up The Necklace Of Your Life And So Every Once In A While, To Complete The Circle, You Need To End A Chapter.

Fighting Aging Is Like The War On Drugs. It's Expensive, Does More Harm Than Good, And Has Been Proven To Never End.

I Love My Boys So Much I Fear My Heart Will Explode. I Wonder If This Love Will Crack Open My Chest And Split Me In Half. It Is Scary, This Love.

In Conclusion, I Invite The Media To All Grow A Pair. And If You Can't, I Will Lend You Mine.

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Sherrilyn Kenyon

Baron De Montesquieu

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