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Some People Get In The Way Of Change Happening. Some People Spend Their Whole Careers Thinking They Can Make A Difference. Other People Want To Do As Little As Possible To Get The Day Done.

-Amy Poehler

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Some People Get In

Amy Poehler

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Some People Get In The Way Of Change Happening. Some People Spend Their Whole Careers Thinking They Can Make A Difference. Other People Want To Do As Little As Possible To Get The Day Done.

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Any Painful Experience Makes You See Things Differently. It Also Reminds You Of The Simple Truths That We Purposely Forget Every Day Or Else We Would Never Get Out Of Bed.

Painful Experiences

Reading Was A Way To Make Friends Or Enemies, A Way To Discover How All These Different People Exist In The World And To Rub Shoulders With Them. The Ability To Feel As If You Have Met Someone, As If That Person Exists In Flesh And Blood And That You Relate To Them Somehow, Makes You Feel A Lot Less Lonely. And It Also Makes You Feel Very Brave.

You Can Tell Someone You Love Them First. You Can Try To Speak Only The Truth For A Whole Week. You Can Jump Out Of An Airplane Or Spend Christmas Day All By Your Lonesome. You Can Help People Who Need Help And Fight Real Bad Guys. You Can Dance Fast Or Take An Improv Class Or Do One Of Those Ironman Things… Adventure And Danger Can Be Good For Your Heart And Soul.

I Don't Watch A Lot Of Comedy. For Relaxation And Escape, I Watch Shows About How People Survive Bear Attacks. Or Old Episodes Of 'law And Order,' The Benjamin Bratt/jerry Orbach Era.

I'm Going To Do 'the Social Network Two: The Electric Boogaloo.' And I Have A Part In 'beige Swan.' I'm Going To Be The Lead, But I Don't Dance. I Just Do A Lot Of Sitting Down. It's Too Tiring To Get Up And Dance Around. That Should Be Coming Out In 20-never.

When I Had A Job Catering, I Catered A Wedding For The Smashing Pumpkins Bassist In Indiana. And I Served Billy Corgan Shrimp Off A Tray.

When In Doubt, Make Funny Faces.

Sometimes You Need To Know To Quit While You're Ahead Or At Least Before Things Get Much Worse!

Try Putting Your Iphones Down Every Once In A While And Look At People's Faces.

Funny Graduation

Calling People 'sweetheart' Makes Most People Enraged.

Stop Whining About Getting Old. It's A Privilege. A Lot Of People Who Are Dead Wish They Were Still Alive.

Sleep Helps You Win At Life.

I Have To Say I Enjoy Physical Comedy And I've Always Loved To Kind Of Take Risks. I Don't Like Worrying Too Much About How I Look Or How I Come Across, So That Can Sometimes... You Know, I Like To Play Those Kinds Of Deluded But Fun Characters.

In My Twenties I Tried Cocaine, Which I Instantly Loved But Eventually Hated. Cocaine Is Terrific If You Want To Hang Out With People You Don't Know Very Well And Play Ping-pong All Night. It's Bad For Almost Everything Else.

The Great Thing About Taking Big Chances When You're Younger Is You Have Less To Lose, And You Don't Know As Much. So You Take Big Swings.

Funny Inspirational

No One Looks Stupid When They're Having Fun.

Being Snubbed Is Not Always A Bad Thing At Awards Shows Because You End Up Getting A Lot Of People Coming Up To You And Telling You How Great You Are.

Ang Lee's Been Nominated For Best Director For "life Of Pi," Which Is What I'm Going To Call The Six Weeks After I Take This Dress Off.

I Think We Should Stop Asking People In Their Twenties What They 'want To Do' And Start Asking Them What They Don't Want To Do.

I Like Bossy Girls. I Always Have. I Like People Filled With Life.

Aw, I Feel Bad If [taylor] Was Upset. I Am A Feminist, And She Is A Young And Talented Girl. That Being Said, I Do Agree I Am Going To Hell. But For Other Reasons. Mostly Boring Tax Stuff.

When You Do Talk About Yourself, Or To Yourself... Try To Picture You Talking To Your Own Daughter, Or Your Younger Sister. Because You Would Tell Your Younger Sister Or Your Daughter That She Is Beautiful, And You Wouldn't Be Lying. Because She Is. And So Are You.

Treat Your Career Like A Bad Boyfriend... Your Career Wont Take Care Of You. It Won't Call You Back Or Introduce You To Its Parents. Your Career Will Openly Flirt With Other People While You Are Around... You Have To Care About Your Work, But Not About The Result. You Have To Care About How Good You Are And How Good You Feel, But Not About How Good People Think You Are Or How Good People Think You Look.

That Is The Motto Women Should Constantly Repeat Over And Over Again. 'good For Her! Not For Me.'

If You Can Speak About What You Care About To A Person You Disagree With Without Denigrating Them Or Insulting Them, Then You May Actually Be Heard.

I Had Already Made A Decision Early On That I Would Be A Plain Girl With Tons Of Personality, And Accepting It Made Everything A Lot Easier. If You Are Lucky, There Is A Moment In Your Life When You Have Some Say As To What Your Currency Is Going To Be. I Decided Early On It Was Not Going To Be My Looks. I Have Spent A Lifetime Coming To Terms With This Idea And I Would Say I Am About 15 To 20 Percent There.decide What Your Currency Is Early. Let Go Of What You Will Never Have. People Who Do This Are Happier And Sexier.

Just Breathe. Sometimes You're Only A Few Breaths Away From Feeling Better.

Earlier Today Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean Became The New Head Of The Democratic National Committee -- No Word On Who Will Be The Neck.

Be Yourself! And Then Tell Us About It! And Then Let's Dance!

President Bush Threw Out The First Pitch Monday At Cincinnati's Great American Ball Park. 18 Iraqis Were Killed.

A New Poll Reveals That 56% Of Americans Believe That Wal-mart Is Bad For The Country, While The Other 44% Work There.

You Have To Remember That Goodbyes Are Temporary Because No One Ever Really Leaves And Nothing Lasts Forever. People Are Always With Us, Because They Are In Our Hearts And In Our Memory. The Only Thing We Can Depend On Is Change... Life Is Just A Series Of Moments -- A String Of Pearls That Make Up The Necklace Of Your Life And So Every Once In A While, To Complete The Circle, You Need To End A Chapter.

I'd Like To Think That I Don't Have A Stock Character That I Go To. I'm Lucky In That When You Get To Initiate Your Own Scene, You Get To Play Whoever You Want. That's Really Kind Of Cool, But All My Characters Are Short. I Look On The Videotape, And I Thought They Were Taller, But They're All 5'2".

Don't Start A Scene Where Two People Are Talking About Jumping Out Of A Plane. Start The Scene Having Already Jumped. If You Are Scared, Look Into Your Partner's Eyes. You Will Feel Better.

Opening Your Heart And Being Courageous And Telling People That You Care About Them Or Like Them Or That You Think They're Special Only Makes You A Better, Bigger, Kinder, Softer, More Loving Person, And Only Attracts More Love Into Your Life.

Sometimes You Have To Kind Of Keep Proving That You're Improvising. That's The Game, Or The Goal, Of Long-form Tv Improv, Is That You Have To Kind Of Keep Reminding And Showing People That You're Improvising, Because They Won't Believe You Really.

The Only Thing We Can Depend On In Life Is That Everything Changes. The Seasons, Our Partners, What We Want And Need. We Hold Hands With Out High School Friends And Swear To Never Lose Touch, And Then We Do.change Is The Only Constant. Your Ability To Navigate And Tolerate Change And Its Painful Uncomfortableness Directly Correlates To Your Happiness And General Well-being.

I Really Do Believe That Anything In Life - Any Obstacle Or Challenge - Can Be Made Better With Humor.

I Find That, In General, The Amount Of Sharing Men Do With Each Other In One Year Is About The Same As What I Share With My Female Friends While We Wait For Our Cars At The Valet.

Telling Me To Relax Or Smile When I'm Angry Is Like Bringing A Birthday Cake Into An Ape Sanctuary. You're Just Asking To Get Your Nose And Genitals Bitten Off.

It's Nice To Be Short, Because People Expect Less From You.

Take Your Risks Now; As You Become Older, You Become More Fearful And Less Flexible. And I Mean That Literally. I Hurt My Knee This Week On The Treadmill, And It Wasn't Even On.

Decide What Your Currency Is Early. Let Go Of What You Will Never Have. People Who Do This Are Happier And Sexier.

Sticking Up For Ourselves In The Same Way We Would One Of Our Friends Is A Hard But Satisfying Thing To Do. Sometimes It Works.

When Your Children Arrive, The Best You Can Hope For Is That They Break Open Everything About You. Your Mind Floods With Oxygen. Your Heart Becomes A Room With Wide-open Windows. You Laugh Hard Every Day.

You Have To Care About How Good You Are And How Good You Feel, But Not About How Good People Think You Are Or How Good People Think You Look.

Improvisation Is Almost Like The Retarded Cousin In The Comedy World. We've Been Trying Forever To Get Improvisation On Tv. It's Just Like Stand-up. It's Best When It's Just Left Alone. It Doesn't Translate Always On Tv. It's Best Live.

Shame Makes People Abandon Their Children And Drink Themselves To Death. It Also Keeps Us From True Happiness. An Apology Is A Glorious Release.

When I Began Doing Theatre In High School I Saw That I Could Get Laughs From People But I Didn't Really Connect That To Going On And Becoming A Comedian. I Was Interested In Acting And While I Was At Boston College I Was Part Of An Improv Group, Mother's Fleabag, Which Had A Long History And Has Been Known As One Of The Best College Improvisation Groups In The U.s.

I Want To Be Around People Who Dream And Support And Do Things.

You Become More Attractive When You Love Yourself. You Attract The Right Things When You Have A Sense Of Who You Are.

Some People Get In The Way Of Change Happening. Some People Spend Their Whole Careers Thinking They Can Make A Difference. Other People Want To Do As Little As Possible To Get The Day Done.

I Was The Daughter Of Teachers, So School Was Always Very Important. I Liked It.

You Never Know What's Around The Corner Unless You Peek. Hold Someone's Hand While You Do It. You Will Feel Less Scared.

I Get A Bit Nervous Because I Just Want The Show To Go Well. I Think You Always Have To Be A Little Bit Nervous, Or Else You're A Little Checked-out, And That's Maybe The Time When You're Not Doing Your Best Stuff, Because You're Kind Of Just Checked-out And Falling Back On Stuff.

Sleep Is Out... Tired Is The New Black.

It's Easier To Be Brave When You're Not Alone.

To Some People, Not Caring Is Supposed To Be Cool, Commenting Is More Interesting Than Doing, And Everything Is Judged And Then Disposed Of In, Like, Five Minutes. I'm Not Interested In Those Kinds Of People. I Like The Person Who Commits And Goes All In And Takes Big Swings And Then Maybe Fails Or Looks Stupid; Who Jumps And Falls Down, Rather Than The Person Who Points At The Person Who Fell, And Laughs. But I Do Sometimes Laugh When People Fall Down.

Nice Manners Are The Secret Keys To The Universe.

Rooting For Other People's Failure Does Get In The Way Of Your Success...when You Can Wish Good Things For People And Rejoice When They Get It, So Many Gifts And Blessings Come To You That You Can't Even Imagine.

I Hate Halloween. I Hate Dressing Up. I Hate - I Wear Wigs, Makeup, Costumes Every Day. Halloween Is Like, My Least Favorite Holiday.

Vulnerable People Are Powerful People. Opening Your Heart And Sharing It Means You're Going To Get So Much Love In Your Life. And It's The Way To True Connection And Real Purpose And Meaning In Your Life, In My Opinion.

When Something Feels Really Big, Too Big To Handle, Just Go Very Small. Just Go Real Small, Just Look At The Person Next To You And Look In Their Eyes And Meet The Person Next To You, Find Out Their Name, Change One Person's Life And Make One Call, Write One Letter, Give One Dollar. Whatever Small Thing Feels Like What You Can Do - It Changes The Course Of The Ship And That Is All It Is.

Your Ability To Navigate And Tolerate Change And Its Painful Uncomfortablene Ss Directly Correlates To Your Happiness And General Well-being. See What I Just Did There? I Saved You Thousands Of Dollars On Self-help Books. If You Can Surf Your Life Rather Than Plant Your Feet, You Will Be Happier.

I Have Realized That Mystery Is What Keeps People Away, And I've Grown Tired Of Smoke And Mirrors. I Yearn For The Clean, Well-lighted Place. So Let's Peek Behind The Curtain And Hail The Others Like Us. The Open-faced Sandwiches Who Take Risks And Live Big And Smile With All Of Their Teeth. These Are The People I Want To Be Around. This Is The Honest Way I Want To Live And Love And Write.

I Love Bossy Women. Some People Hate The Word, And I Understand How "bossy" Can Seem Like A Shitty Way To Describe A Woman With A Determined Point Of View, But For Me, A Bossy Woman Is Someone To Search Out And Celebrate. A Bossy Woman Is Someone Who Cares And Commits And Is A Natural Leader.

Other People Are Not Medicine.

Forgiveness Is Something That's Always Possibility.

If You Are Lucky, There Is A Moment In Your Life When You Have Some Say As To What Your Currency Is Going To Be. I Decided Early On It Was Not Going To Be My Looks.

I Find My Relationships At 40-plus Are Really Emulsified, Juicy Relationships Because You Have More Of A Sense Of Who You Are And Who You Want To Be Around.

Great People Do Things Before They're Ready...you Might Find Out Something About Yourself That's Really Special And If You're Not Good, Who Cares? You Tried Something.

Going From Crying To Laughing That Fast And Hard Happens Maybe Five Times In Your Life And That Extreme Right Turn Is The Reason Why We Are Alive, And I Believe It Extends Our Life By Many Years.

The Only Way We Will Survive Is By Being Kind. The Only Way We Can Get By In This World Is Through The Help We Receive From Others. No One Can Do It Alone, No Matter How Great The Machines Are.

The Desire To Work With Burrows-charles Was Really To Change Nbc's Identity, To Say, "we Want To Be In The Sophisticated-adult-comedy Business."

My Phone Is Trying To Kill Me. It Is A Battery-charged Rectangle Of Disappointment And Possibility. It Is A Technological Pacifier.

I Think If I Have Established Anything In My Book, It's That A Key Element Of Being My Friend Is Being Comfortable With My Forced Fun.

Both Conservatives And Liberals Watch 'parks And Recreation,' And They Each Think The Show Is For Them, Which Is Really Cool. 'snl' Was Totally Different. It Was Exciting Because Everyone Was Paying Attention. Political Humor Works When People Know What You're Talking About.

When You Feel Scared, Hold Someone's Hand And Look Into Their Eyes. And When You Feel Brave, Do The Same Thing. You Are All Here Because You Are Smart. And You Are Brave. And If You Add Kindness And The Ability To Change A Tire, You Almost Make Up The Perfect Person.

There's Power In Looking Silly And Not Caring That You Do.

In A Recent Valentine's Day Posting On Her Fan Website, Britney Spears Says That - Oh, Who Cares?

According To Washington Insiders, White House Press Secretary Scott Mcclellan Could Be The Next Official To Leave The Bush Administration. Mcclellan Says He'd Like To Spend More Time Lying For His Family

Ignore What Other People Think. Most People Aren’t Even Paying Attention To You.

Career Is The Stringing Together Of Opportunities And Jobs. Mix In Public Opinion And Past Regrets. Add A Dash Of Future Panic And A Whole Lot Of Financial Uncertainty. Career Is Something That Fools You Into Thinking You Are In Control And Then Takes Pleasure In Reminding You That You Aren't. Career Is The Thing That Will Not Fill You Up And Will Never Make You Truly Whole.

We May All Host Ourselves To Death, And If We're All Dead Who Will Host Our Funerals?

During An Interview With Katie Couric Tuesday, Sarah Palin Says She Is Not Opposed To Gay People, Adding 'one Of My Absolute Best Friends For The Last 30 Years Happens To Be Gay And I Love Her Dearly And She Doesn't Exist.'

It Doesn't Matter How Much You Get; You Are Left Wanting More.

I Love My Boys So Much I Fear My Heart Will Explode. I Wonder If This Love Will Crack Open My Chest And Split Me In Half. It Is Scary, This Love.

I Am Interested In People Who Swim In The Deep End. I Want To Have Conversations About Real Things With People Who Have Experienced Real Things. I'm Tired Of Talking About Movies And Gossiping About Friends. Life Is Crunchy And Complicated And All The More Delicious.

We [with Les Charles] Started Talking About Hotel Stories, And We Found That A Lot Of The Action Was Happening In The Hotel Bar. We Actually Thought Of That While We Were In A Bar: "why Would Anyone Ever Leave Here?"

Dreams Never Wear You Down.

The Process Of Divorce Is About Loading That Blanket, Throwing It Up, Watching It All Spin, And Worrying What Stuff Will Break When It Lands.

Only At The Golden Globes Do The Beautiful People Of Film Rub Shoulders With The Rat-faced People In Television.

You Have To Be Where You Are To Get Where You Need To Go.

If The Goal Is Doing Good Stuff And Working With Your Friends ... If You’re Doing That Then You’re Succeeding.

Adventure And Danger Can Be Good For Your Heart And Soul.

Always Remember Your Kid's Name.

I Am A Firm Believer That Every Few Years One Needs To Shake One's Life Through A Sieve, Like A Miner In The Yukon. The Gold Nuggets Remain. The Rest Falls Through Like The Soft Earth It Is.

Sleep And I Do Not Have A Good Relationship. We Have Never Been Good Friends. I Am Constantly Chasing Sleep And Then Pushing It Away. A Good Night's Sleep Is My White Whale. Like Ahab, I Am Also A Total Drama Queen About It. I Love To Talk About How Little Sleep I Get. I Brag About It, As If It Is A True Indication Of How Hard I Work.

In Conclusion, I Invite The Media To All Grow A Pair. And If You Can't, I Will Lend You Mine.

When Youre A Stay-at-home Mother You Have To Pretend Its Really Boring, But Its Not. Its Enriching And Fulfilling, And An Amazing Experience. And Then When Youre A Working Mother You Have To Pretend That You Feel Guilty All Day Long.

I Worked At An Ice Cream Parlor Called Chadwicks. We Wore Old-timey Outfits And Had To Bang A Drum, Play A Kazoo, And Sing 'happy Birthday' To People While Giving Them Free Birthday Sundaes. Lots Of Ice Cream Scooping And $1 Tips.

I Just Want To Help Other Women Achieve As Much As They Can In Society Without Restraints Being Imposed On Us. It's The Most Natural And Normal Thing To Want To Defend Your Rights To Equal Opportunities, Equal Pay For Equal Work, And Everything That Comes With That.

I Cannot Stress Enough That The Answer To Life's Questions Is Often In People's Faces. Try Putting Your Iphones Down Once In A While, And Look In People's Faces. People's Faces Will Tell You Amazing Things. Like If They Are Angry, Or Nauseous Or Asleep.

It Takes Years As A Woman To Unlearn What You Have Been Taught To Be Sorry For.

I Also Think If You're An Actor And You Can Improvise, When You Go On An Audition And You Can Improvise You're Just A Genius. If You Can, You Know, Take A Tide Commercial And You Can Just Say One Funny Line That's Not In The Commercial They Think You're A Genius.

You Can't Look Stupid If You're Having Fun.

I Think Chemistry Is About Not Acting, But Reacting, And Not Talking, But Listening.

It’s Never Overreacting To Ask For What You Want And Need.

I Used To Get My Hair Dyed At A Place Called Big Hair. It Cost $15. They Just Used Straight Bleach, So My Hair Was The Color Of White Lined Paper, And My Eyebrows Looked Like They Were Done With A Thick Black Marker.

Open-faced Sandwiches Take Risks And Live Big And Smile With All Their Teeth. These Are The People I Want To Be Around.

Keep Your Virginity For As Long As You Can, Until It Starts To Feel Weird To You. Then Just Get It Over With.

There's Only, Like, Five Perfectly Symmetrical People In The World, And They're All Movie Stars, And They Should Be, Because Their Faces Are Very Pleasing To Look At, But The Rest Of Us Are Just A Jangle Of Stuff, And The Earlier You Learn That You Should Focus On What You Have And Not Obsess About What You Don't Have, The Happier You Will Be.

I Had No Idea How To Get Guys To Notice Me. I Still Don't. Who Cares?

Well People Love To Go Dirty And Stuff Like That. It's Funny, Because Even Really Dirty Things Can Kind Of Inspire, But All Things Inspire Really Dirty Improv And Monologues. So Then Really Dirty Things Can Inspire The Exact Opposite. It's Kind Of A Crapshoot.

Great People Do Things Before They’re Ready. They Do Things Before They Know They Can Do It.

I Have These Meetings With Really Powerful Men And They Ask Me All The Time, 'where Are Your Kids? Are Your Kids Here?' it's Such A Weird Question. Never In A Million Years Do I Ask Guys Where Their Kids Are. It Would Be Comparable To Me Going To A Guy, 'do You Feel Like You See Your Kids Enough?'

It's Interesting That People Always Want To Ask Me And A Lot Of Working Mothers, How Do You Do It? And It's Like Well, Just Like Everybody Else. It Proves It's A Bad Question.

Sometimes Painful Things Can Teach Us Lessons That We Didn't Think We Needed To Know.

We Don't Want To Be Afraid To Make A Choice Because We're Afraid To Make A Mistake Because Most Decisions Aren't Final. Feelings Change All The Time. You Can Always Change Your Mind And Taking Risks And Making Choices Is What Makes Life So Exciting Because We Never Know What's Going To Happen. Every Day Something New Comes Our Way.

Doing What You're Afraid Of, Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone, Taking Risks Like That- That's What Life Is.

Creativity Is Connected To Your Passion, That Light Inside You That Drives You. . . . Your Creativity Is Not A Bad Boyfriend. It Is A Really Warm Older Hispanic Lady Who Has A Beautiful Laugh And Loves To Hug.

Fighting Aging Is Like The War On Drugs. It's Expensive, Does More Harm Than Good, And Has Been Proven To Never End.

I Moved To Chicago In The Early 1990s And I Studied Improvisation There. I Learned Some Rules That I Try To Apply Still Today: Listen. Say Yes. Live In The Moment. Make Sure You Play With People Who Have Your Back. Make Big Choices Early And Often. Don't Start A Scene Where Two People Are Talking About Jumping Out Of A Plane. Start The Scene Having Already Jumped. If You're Scared, Look Into Your Partner's Eyes — You Will Feel Better.

As An Actor, You Can Certainly, At Any Moment And At Any Time, Discover 400 People Who Think You're Stupid, Fat And Ugly.

Saying "yes" Doesn't Mean I Don't Know How To Say No, And Saying "please" Doesn't Mean I Am Waiting For Permission.

Be Easy On Yourself. Have Fun. Only Hang Around People That Are Positive And Make You Feel Good. Anybody Who Doesn't Make You Feel Good, Kick Them To The Curb. And The Earlier You Start In Your Life The Better. The Minute Anybody Makes You Feel Weird And Non-included Or Not Supported, You Know, Either Beat It Or Tell Them To Beat It.

Most Authors Liken The Struggle Of Writing To Something Mighty And Macho, Like Wrestling A Bear. Writing A Book Is Nothing Like That. It Is A Small, Slow Crawl To The Finish Line. Honestly, I Have Moments When I Don't Even Care If Anyone Reads This Book. I Just Want To Finish It.

I've Always Dreamed Of Growing Up To Be Amy Poehler.

Funny Inspirational

Please Don't Drive Drunk, Okay? Seriously... But By All Means, Walk Drunk. That Looks Hilarious. Everyone Loves To Watch Someone Act Like They Are Trying To Make It To Safety During A Hurricane.

Anybody Who Doesn't Make You Feel Good, Kick Them To The Curb. And The Earlier You Start In Your Life, The Better.

A Top Mccain Policy Adviser Claimed This Week That Mccain's Work In The Senate Helped Create The Blackberry, Saying, 'you're Looking At The Miracle That John Mccain Helped Create.' He Then Handed The Blackberry To Mccain, Who Attempted To Withdraw $20 From It.

Creativity Is Connected To Passion - That Light Inside That Drives You.

I Grew Up Watching Skating All The Time In The Olympic Stuff.

Girls, If A Boy Says Something That Isn't Funny, You Don't Have To Laugh.

I Don't Think A Man Who Is Fifteen Years Younger Than Me Should Tell Me He Is Proud Of Me Unless He Is My Sober Coach Or My Time-travel Dad.

Everybody Is Interesting When They Are Interested In Something.

The Creation Of The Ucb Theatre Is By Far My Proudest Professional Accomplishment.

I Used To Say That I Wanted To Make Great Art With People I Love. Now I Have An Addendum To That Goal: To Get Things On The Air.

I Think The Days Of Putting Your Feet Up When You're Pregnant Are Long Gone. Women Who Are Nine Months Pregnant Now Have To Work Till The Bitter End - They Don't Get To Be On Tv.

Always Remember Your Kid’s Name. Always Remember Where You Put Your Kid. Don’t Let Your Kid Drive Until Their Feet Can Reach The Pedals. Use The Right Size Diapers…for Yourself. And, When In Doubt, Make Funny Faces.

Looking Silly Can Be Ver Powerful. People Who Are Committing And Taking Risks Become The King And Queen Of My Prom. People Are Their Most Beautiful When They Are Laughing, Crying, Dancing, Playing, Telling The Truth, And Being Chased In A Fun Way.

[at Boston College] I Started Working On The Kinds Of Skills That You Need For Comedy. It's About Being Creative And Learning To Use Your Gift For Being Able To Let Loose And Be Very Unself-conscious. It Took Me Time Though Before I Was Really Able To Get Comfortable Doing That.

Symmetry Is Pleasing But Not As Sexy. Einstein Is Cool But Picasso Knows What I'm Talking About.

A Person's Tragedy Does Not Make Up Their Entire Life. A Story Carves Deep Grooves Into Our Brains Each Time We Tell It. But We Aren't One Story. We Can Change Our Stories. We Can Write Our Own.

Nobody Looks Stupid When They Are Having Fun.

Sleep Can Completely Change Your Entire Outlook On Life. One Good Night's Sleep Can Help You Realize That You Shouldn't Break Up With Someone, Or You Are Being Too Hard On Your Friend, Or You Actually Will Win The Race Or The Game Or Get The Job. Sleep Helps You Win At Life.

I Am Tired Of Being Tired And Talking About How Tired I Am.

There's Something So Romantic About Being Broke In New York. You Gotta Do It. You Have To Live There Once Without Any Money, And Then You Have To Live There When You Have Money. Let Me Tell You, Of The Two, The Latter Is Far Better.

Well, The First Thing We Do Is Take Our Brain Out And Put It In A Drawer. Stick It Somewhere And Let It Tantrum Until It Wears Itself Out. You May Still Hear The Brain And All The Shitty Things It Is Saying To You, But It Will Be Muffled, And Just The Fact That It Is Not In Your Head Anymore Will Make Things Seem Clearer. And Then You Just Do It.

Try To Keep Your Mind Open To Possibilities And Your Mouth Closed On Matters That You Don't Know About. Limit Your 'always' And Your 'nevers.'

Great People Do Things Before They're Ready. They Do Things Before They Know They Can Do It. Doing What You're Afraid Of, Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone, Taking Risks Like That - That Is What Life Is. You Might Be Really Good. You Might Find Out Something About Yourself That's Really Special And If You're Not Good, Who Cares? You Tried Something. Now You Know Something About Yourself.

Girls Have To Fight Against A Lot Of The Same Stuff We Did Growing Up... Peer Pressure, Exploitation, Etc. But What Worries Me The Most Is This Trend That Caring About Something Isn't Cool. That It's Better To Comment On Something Than To Commit To It. That It's So Much Cooler To Be Unmotivated And Indifferent.

I Also Love Being Able To Do Something That Kids And Families Can Enjoy Because I Have Two Children Of My Own And I Want Them To Grow Up Watching All The Fabulous Animated Movies And Cartoons That I Loved To Watch As A Kid.

I Think Going From Laughing To Crying To Laughing To Crying - Making Those Quick Turns Adds Years To Your Life.

We Need To Remember What's Important In Life: Friends, Waffles, Work. Or Waffles, Friends, Work, It Doesn't Matter. But Work Is Third.

Parks And Recreation

Hey, Guess What? Turns Out The Free Market? Not So Free. Wall Street Was Hit Hard Monday When Lehman Brothers Filed For Bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch Was Sold To Bank Of America, And Insurance Giant Aig Neared A Collapse Of Its Own. Basically, If Your Commercials Air During Golf Tournaments, You're Done.

I Had To Come To Terms With How I Saw Myself. I Had To Understand That I Wasn't Pretty Or Beautiful Like Most Actresses And That I Shouldn't Care About Whether Other People Found Me Attractive Or Not.

It Seems A Strange Thing, But Once I Was Able To Get Past That Kind Of Self-image Problem, I Was Able To Open Up In My Comedy Work And Just Go All Out, Take Chances, And Have Fun With The Performance Aspect Of That.

You Aren't Allowed To Feel Special, But No One Knows The Specific Ways You Are In Pain.

Everyone Needs Love, Never Hurt A Living Thing [and] Don’t Worry About The Choices You Make Because Everything Will Be Fun Because Life Is A Closet Filled With Pool Toys.

It Is Time To Leave. Oprah Has Spoken.

I Would Love To Do A Serious Period Drama. Oh, Absolutely. I Mean, You'll Find Most Comedians Want To Do More Serious Stuff, Most Musicians Want To Be Comedians, And Most Serious Actors Want To Be Musicians.

My Idea Of The Perfect Exercise Class Is This: The Teacher Gives Us All A Hug And Goes, “you Did It! You Showed Up! Let’s Lie Down.” We All Lie Down And She’s Like, “how Is Everybody Feeling?” We’re Like, “great!” And The Teacher’s Like, “great!” Then We All Get To Leave 20 Minutes Early.

If Boys Say Something That's Not Funny, You Don't Have To Laugh.

When You're Betrayed There's A Period Of Shame And Then There's Always Forgiveness.

When You're Doing Sketch Comedy And You're Pregnant, It's Like Wearing A Giant Sombrero In Every Sketch.

I Know Enough Now To Know I Know Nothing.

If You're A Good Improviser, You Improvise Well Enough That People Think That You're Doing A Sketch.

You Deserve Love And You'll Get It.

What I Like About All These Giant Superhero Movies Is That They Speak To The Issues That I'm Dealing With - Working Mother And Time Management And How To Be An Interesting, Sexual, Curious Woman In Your 40s.

Make No A Complete Sentence.

Ladies Like Improv Stilts, And I Think Men Like Improv Giant Cocks. But One Of The Great Things About Improv Is That You Get To Play Some Roles You'd Never Get To Play Otherwise, You Know, Like The Old Italian Pizza-maker Who's Passing On The Business Down To His Son. You Get To Play It All When You Improvise.

When You Host A Show You Have To Hopefully Be Funny At The Top And Set The Tone For A Really Fun Evening.

However, If You Do Start Crying In An Argument And Someone Asks Why, You Can Always Say, 'i'm Just Crying Because Of How Wrong You Are.'

The Pressure Of 'what Are You Going To Do?' Makes Everyone Feel Like They Haven't Done Anything Yet.

If You Do A Scene And You Really Like A Character In It Or A Premise In It To Write It Down And To Work On It So That You Can Have Five Or Six Characters That You Can Pull Out In An Audition.

Blessed Are They Who See Beautiful Things In Humble Places Where Other People See Nothing. Continue To Share Your Heart With People Even If It's Been Broken.

Most Of The Women In Your Life Will Outlast The Men In Your Life. The Saturday Night Live Ladies - Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Tina - And I Text Pictures Of Our Kids Back And Forth All The Time. It Keeps Us Connected. As My Nanny Used To Say, The Older You Get, The More Important It Is To Know People That Knew You When.

The Truth Is, Writing Is This: Hard And Boring And Occasionally Great But Usually Not.

Because Of Various Security Lapses, Some Senators Are Calling For A Probe Of The Security At The Offices Of The Department Of Homeland Security. The Investigation Will Be Conducted By The Department Of Irony.

I Get A Little Itchy If I Don't Have Some Control.

I Want Girls To Feel That They Can Be Sassy And Full And Weird And Geeky And Smart And Independent, And Not So Withered And Shriveled. (the American Apparel Ads) I'm Over This Weird, Exhausted Girl. I'm Over The Girl That's Tired And Freezing And Hungry. I Like Bossy Girls. I Like People Filled With Life. I'm Over This Weird Media Thing With All This, Like, Hollow-eyed, Empty, Party Crap.

I've Said This Before, That, When You're In School And You're The Class Clown, Men Are Really Good At Making Fun At Other People And Women Are Really Good At Making Fun Of Themselves.

Emotions Are Like Passing Storms, And You Have To Remind Yourself That It Won't Rain Forever. You Just Have To Sit Down And Watch It Pour Outside And Then Peek Your Head Out When It Looks Dry.

Talented Men Are Not Threatened By Talented Women. They Welcome Them. And Same Way With Real Men.

A Bossy Woman Is Someone To Search Out And Celebrate. A Bossy Woman Is Someone Who Cares And Commits And Is A Natural Leader.

Find A Group Of People Who Challenge And Inspire You, Spend A Lot Of Time With Them, And It Will Change Your Life.

Taking Risks And Making Choices Is What Makes Life So Exciting.

I Love Saying 'yes' And I Love Saying 'please.' Saying 'yes' Doesn't Mean I Don't Know How To Say No, And Saying 'please' Doesn't Mean I Am Waiting For Permission. 'yes Please' Sounds Powerful And Concise. It's A Response And A Request. It Is Not About Being A Good Girl; It Is About Being A Real Woman.

I Like Hard Work And I Don’t Like Pretending Things Are Perfect.

Watching Great People Do What You Love Is A Good Way To Start Learning How To Do It Yourself.

It's Very Hard To Watch Comedy For Me, When I'm Doing A Comedy Show, Because I Either Watch A Show And I Love It, And I'm Jealous, Or I Watch A Show And I See All The Problems With It, And I'm Angry That I Watched It.

I Asked People Who Have Already Finished Books For Advice, Which Is Akin To Asking A Mother With A Four-year-old What Childbirth Is Like.

You Learn Early As An Actor That Creating Your Own Material Is The Only Way To Have Any Control.

I Think If You Can Dance And Be Free And Not Embarrassed, You Can Rule The World.

I Want To Be Around People That Do Things. I Don't Want To Be Around People Anymore That Judge Or Talk About What People Do. I Want To Be Around People Who Dream And Support And Do Things.

I Think We Should Stop Asking People In Their 20s What They 'want To Do' And Start Asking Them What They Don't Want To Do. Instead Of Asking Students To 'declare Their Major' We Should Ask Students To 'list What They Will Do Anything To Avoid.' It Just Makes A Lot More Sense.

I Think Real Life Couples On Screen Are Kind Of Deadly. For The Most Part, They're Kind Of Deadly. You'd Be Surprised. Unless They're Falling In Love Onscreen For The First Time, You Don't Have Quite The Same Energy For Some Reason.

Falling In Love

There's Nothing Like Watching A Live Performance Of, Frankly, Anything. You Have To Make Sure That People Believe Everything Is Improvised. I Could Not Stress Enough How Little We [actors] Prepare And What Small Amount Of Time We Put In Before These Shows.

In The Wake Of Newly-alleged Prisoner Abuse This Week, Senator John Mccain Said That Continued Mistreatment Of Iraqi Prisoners Is Hurting The Nation's Image. Also Hurting The Nation's Image: Letting People Drown When It Rains.

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