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I Try And Shoot As Often As I Can, I Cross Shoot. I Have At Least Two Cameras Rolling At The Same Time. So I'll Have Two Actors Or Two Sets Of Actors At A Time So Everybody's Basically On Camera. So When They Improvise We Have Everybody's Coverage. And You Can Then Go In The Editing Room And Find The Energy Still Stays There.

-Denis Leary

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I Try And Shoot

Denis Leary

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I Try And Shoot As Often As I Can, I Cross Shoot. I Have At Least Two Cameras Rolling At The Same Time. So I'll Have Two Actors Or Two Sets Of Actors At A Time So Everybody's Basically On Camera. So When They Improvise We Have Everybody's Coverage. And You Can Then Go In The Editing Room And Find The Energy Still Stays There.

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When I First Got Famous, Greg Dulli Was Also Just Starting To Cook With The Afghan Whigs, And Because Of The Mtv Awards I Met Dave Grohl And Nirvana And All These Rock And Roll Bands. So I Had Experience With What It Was Like When People Were Taking Off At That Time.

My Nieces And My Nephews Think The Only Thing That I Do Is 'ice Age.' That's Fine With Me Because Pretty Soon They'll Grow Up Enough To Realize That I Suck Or That My Time Has Passed, Whichever It Might Be.

Personally, I Think Jim Henson Said It Best When He Said "anybody Got An Aspirin? I Think I've Got A Cold."

Firefighters Don't Go On Strike.

You Try To - You Want To Fly On Both Sides Of The Political Fence Because That's Where The - Where The Comedy Is.

Anthony Mackie In 'the Hurt Locker' Is Everything An Actor Can Hope To Be. So Rock Steady In His Portrayal That You Immediately Forget Every Performance He May Have Previously Given, And Focus Only On The Character In Front Of You.

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It's Human Nature For People To Expect People To Be What They See On The Screen.

No Woman Can Be Completely Happy At Any One Moment In Time. They're Always Anticipating The Next Thing To Argue Or Complain About.

My Primary Reason For Bringing My Son On Was To Have A Voice On The Show [sex&drugs&rock&roll] That Would Bring A 25 Or 26 Year Old Point Of View To It, And My Son Is Very Capable Of Writing That Stuff.

I'm A Huge Kevin Youkilis Fan.

Sin Is In, And So We Begin.

The Thing With Movies Is, Because You Have So Little Time, I Always Feel Like There Are More Things We Could've Done With The Character. If We'd Done A Sequel To 'the Thomas Crown Affair,' What Would That Have Been Like? But For The Most Part, You Try Not To Think Of That, Because It's Just Going To Break Your Heart.

I Actually Like Talking.

I'm No Prophet And I'm No Genius, But I Can Only Tell You What I Seem To Know. As A Fan Of Television And The Movies, I Think It's All For The Better.

I Tried Eating Vegetarian. I Felt Like A Wimp Going Into A Restaurant. "what Do You Want To Eat Sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's A Side Dish, Folks. Always Was, Always Will Be, Ok! When They Ask Me What I Want, I Say: What Do You Think I Want? This Is America. I Want A Bowl Of Raw Red Meat Right Now.

Everything You Look At Now, The Scripts That Come In That You Look At, The Television Scripts Are Way Better Than The Movie Script. The Talent Is Going To Television.

People Saying, 'life Didn't Turn Out The Way I Wanted It To.' Welcome To The Club. I Wanted To Be The Starting Center-fielder For The Boston Red Sox, For Chrissakes!

I Love Santa Monica And Venice Because I Like The Beach. I Have A Lot Of Friends In That Area.

Lots Of Friends

I Studied Acting In School And Then Of Course Couldn't Get An Acting Job.

Not Eating Meat Is A Decision, Eating Meat Is An Instinct.

What I've Learned Is That Life Is Too Short And Movies Are Too Long.

Life Is Too Short

When I Was Doing Standup, I Always Wanted To Get Out Of The Standup World And Take It Back Into The Theatrical World, Like With "no Cure For Cancer."

I Bought My Daughter A Chihuahua And I Fell In Love With It. So Now I Carry Coco Around With Me All The Time.

I Wasn't The Best Student. I Wasn't Stupid, But I Wasn't Paying A Lot Of Attention.

The First Movie I Saw Where It Convinced Me I Could Be An Actor Was 'mean Streets,' So Whenever I See Robert De Niro And He Says, 'hi, Denis,' It's Still A Really Big Deal.

Racism Isn't Born, Folks, It's Taught. I Have A Two-year-old Son. You Know What He Hates? Naps! End Of List.

I Think All Priests Should Be Married.

What's Politically Correct A Lot Of Times Is Not Funny.

Politically Correct

You Just Can't Win. Men Have Very Recent Land Mines In Their Heads. Women Have Recorded Conversations And Photographs In Their Heads From 15 Years Ago.

All Knowledge Is Ultimately Rooted In Metaphorical (or Analogical) Modes Of Perception And Thought.

This Is The Most Exciting Place In The World To Live. Oh Yeah! There Are So Many Ways To Die In New York City! Race Riots, Drive By Shootings, Subway Crashes, Construction Cranes Collapsing On The Sidewalks, Manhole Covers Blowing Up And Asbestos Shooting Into The Sky.

I'm Still Pretty Self-centered, Greedy And Angry.

I Wanted To Get More Serialized. I Had This Idea For An Event That Would Click Onto Everybody's Mortality. I Said, "i Want Somebody To Die." Fortunately For Me, When I Was Toying With That Idea, John Landgraf, Who's The Head Of Fx But Also A Very Smart Executive, Came Up With The Idea Of The Ashes In The Maracas. He Called Me Up And Said, "listen, What About This, They Get The Ashes In A Box And When They Get Them, They Shake Them And They Sound Like Maracas." And I Was Like, "okay, Now I've Got My Throughline."

Vacuuming Is Great. I Do The Laundry. I Love Washing Machines. I'm The Maid In My House.

I Obviously Identify With The Anti-authority Figure. I've Pretty Much Always Had Problems With Authority, Ever Since I Was A Kid. But, Yeah, It's Not Identifying, I Think It's More A Part Of My Natural Dna That I Question Anybody Who Has A Plan. Everybody's Got To Have An Angle; That's The Way I Grew Up.

When You Write About Real Life, There's Always A Chance That Somebody Involved Is Going To See It And Get Upset.

There's Nothing Wrong With An Actor That Can't Improvise, But If You're Going To Improvise, You Gotta Make Sure You Got People That Can Play The Game.

Charlotte Rampling, When She Was Younger, Looked Exactly Like My Wife. That's One Of The Reasons That When I First Saw My Wife, My Knees Buckled. Based On Her Looks Alone, She Was Already In My Kitchen Making Eggs.

Peter Falk And Denis Leary Today Walked Into A Starbucks And Shot 27 People, Without Any Announcement Whatsoever.

My Cousin Jerry Lucey And Five Other Firefighters Died In A Warehouse Fire In Worcester, Mass. - My Hometown - Right In The Middle Of Our Old Neighborhood Downtown When A Homeless Couple Started A Fire To Keep Warm And The Entire Building Went Up. My Cousin Died Trying To Save Homeless People Who Had Already Left The Building.

My Biggest Regret In Life Is That I Didn't Hit John Denver In The Mouth While I Has The Chance.

I've Only Done Two Other Tv Shows [instead Of Sex&drugs&rock&roll], One Was Rescue Me And The Other Was A Show Called The Job, Which Was At Abc And Only On For Two Seasons.

What Firefighters, And People In Our Military And Cops Do Is Separate From What The Rest Of Us Do, Basically These People Say "i'm Going To Protect All These Strangers."

I'd Love To Play In A Red Sox Game. It Would Be So Awesome To Actually Walk Out On The Field And Play, Just For One Inning. I'd Also Steal Everything I Could Get My Hands On In The Clubhouse, Which Is Why They Won't Let Me Do It.

Stand-up Comedy And Comedy In General Is The Ultimate Form Of Free Speech, Because You Get To Poke Holes In All The Pretentious Bubbles Politicians And Pundits And Popes And Pretenders Try To Float Over Our Heads.

I Basically - I Don't Like Tattoos, Unless You're A Firefighter Who Has A Tattoo That Has To Do With That Or A Military Guy. That's - Those Are People Who Should Have Tattoos.

If The World Somehow Actually Ends Tomorrow, Let All Forget About The Mayans And Just Agree It`s The Nhl`s Fault

I'm In My Truck Talking To Jesus. And You Can See A World Series Ring On My Right Pinkie Finger. But When I Take My Sunglasses Off A Second Later, It's Gone. It's The Whole Divine Intervention Thing. You Know Jesus Had Something To Do With Them Winning.

Worrying About Tomorrow Is The Best Way To Screw Up Today.

Jerry Lewis Has Been Married Twenty Times. He Gets Married On A Tuesday, They Find His Wife Dead In A Swimming Pool On Thursday. Maybe If You Married Someone Who's Old Enough To Swim Next Time, Ok Jerry?

I'm The Enemy. Because I Like To Think, I Like To Read. I'm Into Freedom Of Speech, The Freedom Of Choice. I'm The Kind Of Guy Who Likes To Sit In A Greasy Spoon And Wonder - "gee, Should I Have The T-bone Steak Or The Jumbo Rack Of Bbq Ribs With The Side Order Of Gravy Fries?" I Want High Cholesterol. I Wanna Eat Bacon And Butter And Buskets Of Cheese, Okay? I Wanna Smoke A Cuban Cigar The Size Of Cincinnati In The Non-smoking Section. I Wanna Run Through The Streets Naked With Green Jell-o All Over My Body Reading Playboy Magazine. Why? Because I Suddenly Might Feel The Need To, Okay, Pal?

I Don't Want A President Like Me! I Suck, Okay. I Want An Elitist, Smart Guy.

If You Do Good Work, It Tends To Stick Around. People Still Come Up To Me And Say, "'the Ref' Is My Favorite Christmas Movie."

One Thing That's Great About Firefighters: If They Don't Have The Equipment They Desperately Need, They Don't Have The Help, They Don't Care. They'll Do It On Their Own.

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I'd Love To Do Another Television Series. I Really Love The Writing Process, And As An Actor I Really Like How Much You Get To Examine In Television.

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I Don't Really Have A Lot Of Fun Playing Just Straight Good Guys. It's Not My Thing. It's Like Tom Hanks Territory.

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I Learned A Long Time Ago, If You Want To Keep Your Friends In Show Business, Don't Get Famous. Because As Soon As You Get Famous, A Lot Of The People You Used To Know, Who Didn't, Become Incredibly Bitter And Jealous. It's Part Of The Territory.

There's A Method Aspect To Campbell Scott Character And He Really Wants To Get Into His Character And He Wants To Cast To Go On A Fast So That By The Time The Play Opens Nobody's Eaten In Three Days Because He Wants The Audience To Feel The Pain From The Stage.

On A Movie, You Have A Great Time, And You're Really Enjoying The Work, And Then Everybody Is Done And Goes Their Separate Ways, And You Maybe Never Get To Work With Those People Again.

Where I Grew Up, The Basketball Courts Were Rarely Used.

Every Actor Thinks He Can Do Comedy, And It's Not True.

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I'm The Lord Of The Dance! F-k Michael Flatley, It's Me!

I Obviously Identify With The Anti-authority Figure. I've Pretty Much Always Had Problems With Authority, Ever Since I Was A Kid.

Sometimes 'great Acting' Is Just Showing Off - Chewing Up Scenery And Dialogue And Other Actors - The Equivalent Of A Theatrical Sugar Rush.

The Best Comedy Audiences In The Country And This Is Tried And True, I'm Not Just Saying It, In My Opinion Are Boston, Atlanta, And Chicago.

My Charity Is In The Business Of Helping Firefighters In Any Way That We Can. For Instance, After 9/11 We Were The Second-fastest Charity To Raise And Distribute Money To The Widows And Surviving Family Members Of The 343 Firefighters Who Died That Day.

Jon Stewart Is Exactly The Same Guy He's Always Been, Only With Money. He Knows That The Moment He Really Believes He's Important, The Funny Goes Away And He Becomes Bill O'reilly, Except Shorter And Jewish.

Most Movies Suck, Even The Independent Ones. Hollywood Is Like Baseball: Hit Three Good Ones Out Of 10 And You're A Hall Of Famer.

Anybody Who's Done Standup Will Tell You That There's Nothing Like It. The Show Starts At 8:00, The Curtain Goes Up And There's Nobody Else Except You And The Audience, And You Just Perform For Them For Two Hours. Nobody Yells, 'cut!' There Are No Retakes. That Is Still The Most Exciting Medium For Me, And I Love It.

I've Always Had A Thing For Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer Or Halle Berry In Tight Leather Pants, With The Boots - I'm Pretty Good With Either One.

The Social Wishlist On Facebook Is A Great Example Of Everything Right About Social Media.

Everybody's Vying For People's Attention In Terms Of Eyeballs, Earholes, And Dollars.

I Eat Meat Because Meat Tastes Like Murder, And Murder Tastes Pretty Dam Good!

I Have A Lot Of Conservative Views On A Lot Of Things.

The Things That Make Me Angry Still Make Me Angry. George Carlin Is 67, And He's Still As Funny As He's Ever Been, And He's Still Angry. And That Makes Me Feel Good, Because I Feel Like If I Stick Around Long Enough, I'll Still Be Able To Work.

Most People Think, "life Sucks, And Then You Die." I Disagree. I Think Life Sucks. Then You Get Cancer. Then You Go Into Chemotherapy. You Lose All Your Hair, You Feel Bad About Yourself. Then All Of The Sudden The Cancer Goes Into Remission, And Then All Of The Sudden You Have A Stroke. You Can't Move Your Right Side. And Then, Maybe, You Die.

If You See Me Doing A New Stand-up Special, It Probably Means I've Been Out Of Work For A While.

Marriage Is Like A Dull Meal With The Dessert At The Beginning.

I Think Daycare Is Great For People Who Have To Work Two Jobs. My Problem Is With People Who Are Dropping Kids Off At Daycare Because They Want To Go Out And Spend The Day Golfing Or Getting Their Nails Done. You Know What I Mean? That's Not Why They Invented Daycare.

I'm One Of The People That When I Wake Up I Have To Do What I Do. It's Not Like I Want To Do It. I Kind Of Have To Do It.

I'm Really Happy I Went To A Catholic School Because A Lot Of The Repressive Tactics They Use Make For Great Senses Of Humor.

I'm No Day At The Beach. And If It Is A Beach, It's Hampton Beach. Ever Been There? It's Not Nice.

Sometimes I Park In Handicap Spaces While Handicapped People Make Handicapped Faces.

It's Important To Have Your Own Space. I've Never Trusted People Who Do Everything Together. I Call Them "kool-aid Couples," Because It's Like They Drank The Same Kool-aid And It's Drugged Them Into Constantly Gazing Into Each Other's Eyes.

I Like Jesus, I Mean, I Think He Was A Good Guy.

If I'm President, There Are Going To Be Government Vans That Drive Around And Pick Up People Who Shouldn't Be Wearing Certain Clothing. Talk About Lack Of Civil Rights - I'm Sorry, I'm Pulling You Right Off The Street, And We're Giving You Clothes That You're Going To Be O.k. In.

I Went To School With Steven Wright Who Was The Shyest Guy I Knew, And One Day Someone Suddenly Told Me That He Was In A Club Doing Standup Comedy. I Went Down To His Club And He Was Great. Another Friend Of Mine, Who Was Pretty Much A Thief By Trade, Was Hosting The Show. So I Thought If These Guys Can Do It Then So Can I.

Science Fiction Was Never My Thing. I Have No Interest In It. So I Don't Think I Could Successfully Pull Off Being On A Project Like That Without Really Losing My Mind.

I Want You To Take Away The Hope Because That's The Thing That's Killing Me.

I'm Not Saying Being A Comedian Is Brain Surgery, But It Is Definitely - It's Like Being A Carpenter. You Learn How To Make Tables And Chairs. You Have To Have The Right Tools, And You Have To Know How To Put The Thing Together, Right?

Tables And Chairs

The Best Pitch I Ever Heard About Cocaine Was Back In The Early Eighties When A Street Dealer Followed Me Down The Sidewalk Going: I Got Some Great Blow Man. I Got The Stuff That Killed Belushi.

You Can Have Good Writing, But A Great Actor Will Make It Feel And Sound Like Great Writing. You Can Have Great Writing, And Mediocre Actors Will Make It Feel Mediocre. Without The Actors, You Have Nothing.

My Father Left Ireland Because He Did Not Want To Muck Horse Manure For The Rest Of His Life, And He Wanted To Come To New York.

When I Was A Teenager, You Couldn't Get Straight Pants. Then In '76, When Punk Started To Hit, It Was A Revelation That You Could Find Straight Pants Again.

I Fell Asleep During 'year One' Twice. And My Son, Who Never Falls Asleep During A Jack Black Movie, Also Nodded Off. That's How Bad It Was. I Was Incredibly Disappointed.

Campbell [scott] Also Directed Me In A Film With Hope Davis Called Final. That Was The First Thing We Did Together, But I've Known Him For Years.

I'm A Lapsed Catholic In The Best Sense Of The Word.

For Us As Writers, It's Really Important To Have Songs We Believe In - Even Before Sometimes We Shoot A Scene. If We Have A Song That's So Perfectly Designed For A Scene On 'rescue Me,' We'll Play It On Loud Speakers During The Shooting. It Helps The Cameraman And It Helps The Director, And It Helps The Actors Know What The Feel Is.

George Carlin Was Great Right Up To The End Of His Life. But Richard Pryor Was Probably The Best, Most Gifted Stand-up Comedian Who Will Ever Live.

The Biggest Battle For A Lot Of People Who Come Out Of The Theater, Which Is Where I Was Trained, Is That They Can Never Forget That A Camera Is Pointed At Them.

We Didn't Have Rehab Back In The Seventies. Back In The Seventies, Rehab Meant You Stopped Doing Coke, But You Kept Smoking Pot And Drinking For A Couple More Weeks.

It Says On The Back Of The Nyquil Box, 'may Cause Drowsiness.' It Should Say, 'don't Make Any Plans, Ok? Kiss Your Family And Friends Good-bye.'

Family And Friends

I Went To See The 'spider-man' Movies Because My Wife Is A Fan, And So Are My Kids.

We Drink And We Die And Continue To Drink.

Life Sucks,get A Helmet

I Needed Someone Really Intense, But Also Somebody With A Lot Of Theatrical Credibility.

You Know Why The French Hate Us So Much? Thay Gave Us The Croissant. And You Know What We Did With It? We Turned It Into Our Croissandwich, Thank You Very Much.

The Filter's The Best Part. That's Where They Put The Heroin.

We've Always Talked About Doing Something Else And Campbell Scott Is Always Busy And I'm Always Busy. But When We Came Up With The Idea Of Doing The Potato Famine As A Hip Hop Musical, I Wanted Somebody Who Was Going To Bring Gravity.

If You Had No Enemies, You Had No Fun.

There Are About A Thousand Different Variations On A Horse Neigh. Some Of Them Sound Like A Horse Having Sex, Some Of Them Like A Horse Having Sad Sex.

Coffee Doesn't Need A Menu, It Needs A Cup. That's All It Needs! Maybe A Saucer Underneath The Cup — That's It.

Loud, Stupid And Overeating Will Suffice As Long As We Also Have The Funny, The Fierce And The Intellectual

The Best Thing About Series Tv Is That Everyone You Work With Is Hand-picked, As Compared To Working On A Film.

I Didn't Raise My Kids With The Fear Of God.

With Any Actor, If You Know Your Character Well Enough, You'll Know Pretty Much What He Would Say Under Any Circumstance, Or Whatever Situation Might Rear Its Head.

Hockey's My Favorite Sport.

Heavy Metal Fans Are Buying Heavy Metal Records, Taking The Records Home, Listening To The Records And Then Blowing Their Heads Off With Shotguns? Where's The Problem? That's An Unemployment Solution Right There, Folks! It's Called Natural Selection.

At Some Level, You've Got To Have The Ability To - Especially In Film And In Front Of The Camera, You Got To Have The Ability To Drop Into Character And Close Off The Entire Crew And The Camera And Everything Else.

Why Hate Someone For The Color Of Their Skin When There Are Much Better Reasons To Hate Them?

I Spent A Long Time Working In The Movies To Figure Out That Kind Of Acting And Also How To Write And Produce For The Screen.

I Love French Stuff. Mmmm, French Fries.

Julieanne Smolinksi Has A History In Rock Journalism And She's A Huge Rock 'n' Roll Fan, And She Was A Huge Fan Of Ava (elaine Hendrix) And Gigi (elizabeth Gillies) And Of The Actresses. I Was Really Lucky To Get Her, In Between Seasons On Grace And Frankie.

I Try And Shoot As Often As I Can, I Cross Shoot. I Have At Least Two Cameras Rolling At The Same Time. So I'll Have Two Actors Or Two Sets Of Actors At A Time So Everybody's Basically On Camera. So When They Improvise We Have Everybody's Coverage. And You Can Then Go In The Editing Room And Find The Energy Still Stays There.

I'm Born And Raised In The Northeast. My Parents Are Irish Immigrants. So Our Tendency Is To Shy Away From The Big Yellow Ball That Comes Up In The Sky Every Once In A While.

White Men Have Screwed This Country Up! I Would Like A Black, Female…. Everything All Rolled Into One.i Want Something Different. I Want A Real Change. People, I Want A President Who Speaks Well, Who Has A Sense Of Humor. This Guy Is Such A Moron! It's Beyond The Point Where It's A Joke. He's An Idiot.

First Of All, I Have To Have Trucks Because I Live Most Of My Time On A Horse Farm, So I've Gotta Have Trucks. It's In The Northeast; I've Got To Have Pickup Trucks To Move Snow, Number One. Number Two, Just If I'm Driving, I Don't Have To Have An Suv, But I Want A Big Car.

I Don't Watch 'american Idol.' I Don't Watch Any Of That Stuff.

All Men Hear Is Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Sex, Blah, Blah, Blah, Food, Blah, Blah, Blah, Beer.

Happy Easter Everyone! Jesus Dies, Comes Back From The Dead - And We Get Chocolate Eggs. It's Like Turn-down Service From God.

I Will Not Bond. I Will Not Share. I Refuse To Nurture.

There We Were In The Middle Of A Sexual Revolution Wearing Clothes That Guaranteed We Wouldn't Get Laid.

Once People Start To Think They've Wasted Parts Of Their Life, Or They're Wasting Their Life As They Speak, That Means There's Going To Be Great Dramatic And Comedic Tension.

Bill Murray Doesn't Do Anything. He Barely Shows Up At The Movies He Says He's Going To Do.

My Wife And I Were Poor When I Started But We Struggled Along Until Things Happened For Me In My Thirties. I Knew I Was Doing What I Loved Even If I Wasn't Getting Paid For It, So I Think I'd Still Be Doing It.

I Think We're Going To Carry The 'ice Age's Up To 'ice Age 15,' Which Means Basically They'll Be In The Present Decade.

It Became Sort Of A Snowball Effect, With Guys Trying To Deal In Their Own Way With 9/11, Whether It Was Drinking Or Whatever.

When I Become President, All You Assholes That Ride Bikes In The City? Lock And Load! You're Going Down!

I Guess You Get Pigeon-holed In Hollywood, But I'm Ok With That Because I've Been Able To Do A Lot. I Started In The Theater, Then I Went To Stand-up Comedy, And Then When I Went Into The Movies To Do Comedy And Drama And Big Movies And Small Movies.

That's Why I'm Glad Jesus Died When He Did. Because If He Lived To Be 40, He Would Have Ended Up Like Elvis. He Was Famous Already At That Point. If He Lived To Be 40, He'd Be Walking Around Jerusalem With A Big Fat Beer Gut And Black Side Burns Going, Damn, I'm The Son Of God. Give Me A Cheeseburger And French Fries Right Now.

Let Me Tell You Something: I Love The Yankees. And Let Me Tell You Why: Because Without The Yankees, There Is Nobody To Hate.

I Was Working With Peter Tolan, Who Was My Writing Partner On Those Two [rescue Me And The Job], And He Did The Larry Sanders Show With Garry Shandling, And He Always Said That The Second Season Is Better Because You Know The Actors.

My Goal Is To Leave This Planet With The Biggest Carbon Footprint I Can Possibly Leave.

Carbon Footprint

Yeah, I Love Living In New York, Man, And People Who Live In New York, We Wear That Fact Like A Badge Right On Our Sleeve Because We Know That Fact Impresses Everybody! I Was In Vietnam. So What? I Live In New York!

I Like To Give The Actors Freedom To Take What We Have On The Page And Improve On It. And They Do That Quite A Bit.

I Always Hated The Grateful Dead. Never Even Bought A Led Zeppelin Album.

There Is A Huge Boom In Autism Right Now Because Inattentive Mothers And Competitive Dads Want An Explanation For Why Their Dumb-ass Kids Can't Compete Academically, So They Throw Money Into The Happy Laps Of Shrinks . . . To Get Back Diagnoses That Help Explain Away The Deficiencies Of Their Junior Morons. I Don't Give A [bleep] What These Crackerjack Whack Jobs Tell You - Yer Kid Is Not Autistic. He's Just Stupid. Or Lazy. Or Both.

When I'm On Stage, That's Me. It's Blown Up, But That's Me.

I've Been Nominated For Emmys And Golden Globes, But I've Never Won One And I Probably Never Will.

Everyone's Got Skeletons In Their Closet, And I've Got A Million In Mine, Believe Me. I Tested The Envelope; I Pushed It. Whenever Somebody In Authority Told Me Not To Do Something, I Did It Just To Find Out Why They Said Not To Do It.

Dustin Hoffman Said This One Time, That If He Hadn't Made It As A Film Star, He Would Still Be Happy As A Character Actor Because He Was A Character Actor Because Of His Face From Day One, So He Would Always Work In The Theater.

My Kids Watch Everything Downloaded; They Have No Idea What The Numbers Or The Names Of The Channels Mean, Except "fx Makes The Show That I See On My Computer." So It's Harder To Get A Show On The Air, But At The Same Time, There Are A Lot Of Terrific Shows.

I Did 12 Years With Nuns, You Know. So I Came Out Of It Going, Like, 'i Think Jesus Is All Right.' The Rest Of It I Think Stinks To The High Heavens.

Wolfhounds Helped Kill Off The Wolves In Ireland.

Here's The Problem With Easter. The Catholic Church Needs To Pick A Date Because It Keeps Moving. And I Think The Reason They Always Have Easter Moving To Different Dates Is To Catch Us.

Kids Are Incredibly Expensive. But It Pays Off Later When They Are Better Educated, Bigger, And Better-looking Than You. And Find You Incessantly Boring And Uncool.

Bigger And Better

The Key Thing Is To Get That One Splash - That One Song Or That One Video For A Song - That Catches People's Eyes. Because It's All Digital Content Now.

Science Fiction Was Never My Thing. I Have No Interest In It.

Science Fiction

I Have Good Kids, I Love My Kids. I Try To Bring Them Up The Right Way, Not Spanking Them. I Find That I Don't Have To Spank Them. I Find That Waving The Gun Around Pretty Much Gets The Same Job Done!

When I Go To Batman Movies, I Always Think, 'man, I Would Like To Be A Bad Guy In A Batman Movie.' Especially As They Got Darker When They Go To The Christian Bale Era.

Good Actors, Especially When They Know Their Character, Will Come In And Either Tell You In Advance That They Have An Idea, Or In The Middle Of The Rehearsal Or The Scene They'll Let It Loose And You Go, "ah That's Great."

I Was Reading An Interview With Keith Richards In A Magazine And In The Interview Keith Richards Intimated That Kids Should Not Do Drugs. Keith Richards! Says That Kids Should Not Do Drugs! Keith, We Can't Do Any More Drugs Because You Already F-king Did Them All, Alright? There's None Left! We Have To Wait 'til You Die And Smoke Your Ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk About The Pot And The F-kin' Kettle.

Once You Have A Firefighter In Your Family, Your Family And The Families From His Crew Become One Big Extended Family.

If You Want A Long-term Relationship That Doesn't Require A Lot Of Work, I Say, Get A Dog. They Love You No Matter What. But When It Comes To Humans, There's No Secret; You Really Have To Appreciate The Person Every Single Day.

He [ Campbell Scott ] Is Also A Really Funny Guy Which Not A Lot Of People Know.

There's No Male Oprah.

In My Experience In Series Tv If You Have A Good Crew And A Great Cast It's Going To Be A Great Group - Similar To The Theater Where It's A Bunch Of People Who Are Really Talented And Go To Work Each Day And Challenge Each Other And If You Are Lucky Enough To Get A Hit Then It's Five Or Six Or Seven Years Of This Kind Of Work.

You Really Want To Have A Back-up Plan, So When You Don't Feel Like Acting, Or You're Getting Older And Settling Down, You Can Produce Your Own Stuff. So That's When I Set About Forming My Own Company And Getting Creative Control.

Certain Movies Like 'wag The Dog,' We Used Improv On Every Scene That We Did. Pretty Much, We Would Shoot From The Script And Then Some Stuff That We Came Up With In Rehearsal, And Then We'd Have At Least One Or Two Takes Where We Completely Went Off The Script And Just Flew By The Seat Of Our Pants.

There's Not Going To Be A 'rescue Me' Movie. Not A Chance.

People Are Disappointed That You Aren't Exactly Who They Thought You Were, As Opposed To Somebody Who's Just Walking Around Trying To Get Some Laundry Done.

If A Character Dies, You Get To Do A Big, Juicy Death Scene. But The Flip Side Is You're Out Of The Sequel, Which Is Where The Real Money Is.

It's Hard To Have A Film And Television Career And Do Music Work At The Same Time.

Film And Television

Nobody Can Make More Fun Of Me Than I Already Make Of Myself.

In Addition To My Cousin, There Were 30 Or 40 Guys I Grew Up With Who Became Firefighters As Well. So, I've Been Around Firefighters All My Life.

Liz [gillies] Doesn't Really Listen To Anything New, Besides Adele, Ariana Grande, And Stuff Like That. She Loves '70s Music And Old '60s Songs. She Loves Songwriters From The '70s That I Hate, Like Jim Croce And James Taylor, And She Loves Stevie Nicks And Old Jazz Classics.

There's No Way Around It, Drama Is Very Difficult To Shoot. It's Very Heavy And Something That You Carry With You For The Course Of The Day.

I've Eaten Things That Didn't Complain This Much.

One Of The Things I Always Believed In Was My Dad Came To America And He Was A Very Talented Musician, But He Couldn't Make A Living That Way So He Had To Support His Family As An Auto Mechanic Which He Also Loved Doing. He Was Also Such A Great Dad Because When I First Told Him I Thought I Wanted To Go Into Show Business, His Response Was Okay, That's Interesting.

"yeah, Well, If You Eat Red Meat, It Stays In Your Colon For Fifteen Years!" Good! I Paid For It; I Want It In My Ass, Okay? I Want Them To Find A Meat Sweater From My Esophagus To My Asshole When They Open Me Up In The End! "this Guy's Covered In Meat! He's Meat-man! He's Meat-tracheotomy-man!"

Most Of The Women Placed In The Fire Department Here In New York Never Passed The Physical Test. And A Fat Guy Or A Short Guy, Or Anybody Not Passing The Test In A Life-or-death Job, Leads To Friction.

The Second Season Is Generally Easier Do Because You Know The Actors Better And They Know The Characters Better And If Everybody Likes Each Other You Can Really Go All Types Of Places.

Did You Ever Notice They Never Take Any Fat Hostages? You Never See A Guy Coming Out Of Lebanon Going: "i Was Held Hostage For Seven Months And I Lost 175 Pounds, I Feel Good And I Look Good And I Learned Self-discipline. That's The Important Thing."

I'm Gonna Get One Of Those Tracheotomies, So I Can Smoke Two Cigarettes At The Same Time! I'm Gonna Get Nine Tracheotomies, All Around My Neck, I'll Be Tracheotomy Man! He Can Smoke A Pack At A Time, He's Tracheotomy Man!

Everyone Should Have An Evil Secret Plan.

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Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

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