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I Have A Lot Of Conservative Views On A Lot Of Things.
-Denis Leary
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I Have A Lot

Denis Leary
...
I Have A Lot Of Conservative Views On A Lot Of Things.

Understanding the Quote: "i have a lot of conservative views on a lot of things...."

This quote by Denis Leary reflects deeply on the theme of views. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Views, Conservative, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Denis Leary interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Denis Leary

Denis Leary is celebrated for insightful thoughts on views and conservative. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

Views: 7
Topic
Views
Conservative
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One Of The Things I Always Believed In Was My Dad Came To America And He Was A Very Talented Musician, But He Couldn't Make A Living That Way So He Had To Support His Family As An Auto Mechanic Which He Also Loved Doing. He Was Also Such A Great Dad Because When I First Told Him I Thought I Wanted To Go Into Show Business, His Response Was Okay, That's Interesting.
Dad
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I Tried Eating Vegetarian. I Felt Like A Wimp Going Into A Restaurant. "what Do You Want To Eat Sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's A Side Dish, Folks. Always Was, Always Will Be, Ok! When They Ask Me What I Want, I Say: What Do You Think I Want? This Is America. I Want A Bowl Of Raw Red Meat Right Now.
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It's Hard To Have A Film And Television Career And Do Music Work At The Same Time.
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I Basically - I Don't Like Tattoos, Unless You're A Firefighter Who Has A Tattoo That Has To Do With That Or A Military Guy. That's - Those Are People Who Should Have Tattoos.
Tattoo
Military
Should Have
I Wanted To Get More Serialized. I Had This Idea For An Event That Would Click Onto Everybody's Mortality. I Said, "i Want Somebody To Die." Fortunately For Me, When I Was Toying With That Idea, John Landgraf, Who's The Head Of Fx But Also A Very Smart Executive, Came Up With The Idea Of The Ashes In The Maracas. He Called Me Up And Said, "listen, What About This, They Get The Ashes In A Box And When They Get Them, They Shake Them And They Sound Like Maracas." And I Was Like, "okay, Now I've Got My Throughline."
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Dustin Hoffman Said This One Time, That If He Hadn't Made It As A Film Star, He Would Still Be Happy As A Character Actor Because He Was A Character Actor Because Of His Face From Day One, So He Would Always Work In The Theater.
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I Studied Acting In School And Then Of Course Couldn't Get An Acting Job.
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I Went To See The 'spider-man' Movies Because My Wife Is A Fan, And So Are My Kids.
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Rosemary Rodriguez Directed On Rescue Me For Us, And I Love Her. She's Fantastic With Actresses And She's Got A Great Sense Of Humor. That Was A Huge Thing For Me.
Rosemary
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I Love To Smoke. I Smoke Seven Thousand Packs A Day!
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I Love French Stuff. Mmmm, French Fries.
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When I Go To Batman Movies, I Always Think, 'man, I Would Like To Be A Bad Guy In A Batman Movie.' Especially As They Got Darker When They Go To The Christian Bale Era.
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I'm Born And Raised In The Northeast. My Parents Are Irish Immigrants. So Our Tendency Is To Shy Away From The Big Yellow Ball That Comes Up In The Sky Every Once In A While.
Sky
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I Really Like 'batman.' Not The Tv Show, But The Dark 'batman.'
Dark
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I'm The Lord Of The Dance! F-k Michael Flatley, It's Me!
Lord
Most Of The Women Placed In The Fire Department Here In New York Never Passed The Physical Test. And A Fat Guy Or A Short Guy, Or Anybody Not Passing The Test In A Life-or-death Job, Leads To Friction.
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Racism Isn't Born, Folks, It's Taught. I Have A Two-year-old Son. You Know What He Hates? Naps! End Of List.
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Hate
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I Actually Like Talking.
Talking
I Wasn't The Best Student. I Wasn't Stupid, But I Wasn't Paying A Lot Of Attention.
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There's No Way Around It, Drama Is Very Difficult To Shoot. It's Very Heavy And Something That You Carry With You For The Course Of The Day.
Drama
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When I Was Doing Standup, I Always Wanted To Get Out Of The Standup World And Take It Back Into The Theatrical World, Like With "no Cure For Cancer."
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I Think It's A Shame When You Come Across Young Actors And Musicians Who Haven't Had The Time To Learn Their Craft. It Doesn't Matter If It's Acting Or Music, You Really Have To Learn How To Do It From The Bottom Up Because Unless You Have A Great Work Ethic... Fame Is A Terrible Thing To Have.
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I Don't Watch 'american Idol.' I Don't Watch Any Of That Stuff.
Idols
Watches
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One Of Those Things That I Like About Tv Is That If You Get A Group Of People You Like, You Can Work With These People For Months At A Time, And You Can Discover Their Strengths And Weaknesses, And You Can Use Those In The Direction Where You Take The Characters.
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You Know Why The French Hate Us So Much? Thay Gave Us The Croissant. And You Know What We Did With It? We Turned It Into Our Croissandwich, Thank You Very Much.
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In My Experience In Series Tv If You Have A Good Crew And A Great Cast It's Going To Be A Great Group - Similar To The Theater Where It's A Bunch Of People Who Are Really Talented And Go To Work Each Day And Challenge Each Other And If You Are Lucky Enough To Get A Hit Then It's Five Or Six Or Seven Years Of This Kind Of Work.
Years
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I'm Praying For 'ice Age' 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 And 10. Because I Really Think We Can Run Those Characters Into The '60s, And I'm Talking The 1960s, You Know? The Civil Rights Movement. That's What I'm Praying For, Because Then I Wouldn't Have To Do Anything Else.
Running
Character
Thinking
I Was Reading An Interview With Keith Richards In A Magazine And In The Interview Keith Richards Intimated That Kids Should Not Do Drugs. Keith Richards! Says That Kids Should Not Do Drugs! Keith, We Can't Do Any More Drugs Because You Already F-king Did Them All, Alright? There's None Left! We Have To Wait 'til You Die And Smoke Your Ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk About The Pot And The F-kin' Kettle.
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Coffee Doesn't Need A Menu, It Needs A Cup. That's All It Needs! Maybe A Saucer Underneath The Cup — That's It.
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Ann Romney Talking About Middle Class Moms Is Like Chris Christie Talking About A Salad
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I've Been Nominated For Emmys And Golden Globes, But I've Never Won One And I Probably Never Will.
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Everyone's Got Skeletons In Their Closet, And I've Got A Million In Mine, Believe Me. I Tested The Envelope; I Pushed It. Whenever Somebody In Authority Told Me Not To Do Something, I Did It Just To Find Out Why They Said Not To Do It.
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I'm A Huge Kevin Youkilis Fan.
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Huge
Julieanne Smolinksi Has A History In Rock Journalism And She's A Huge Rock 'n' Roll Fan, And She Was A Huge Fan Of Ava (elaine Hendrix) And Gigi (elizabeth Gillies) And Of The Actresses. I Was Really Lucky To Get Her, In Between Seasons On Grace And Frankie.
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Grace
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My Nieces And My Nephews Think The Only Thing That I Do Is 'ice Age.' That's Fine With Me Because Pretty Soon They'll Grow Up Enough To Realize That I Suck Or That My Time Has Passed, Whichever It Might Be.
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Personally, I Think Jim Henson Said It Best When He Said "anybody Got An Aspirin? I Think I've Got A Cold."
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I Think We Should Take Iraq And Iran And Combine Them Into One Country And Call It Irate. All The Pissed Off People Live In One Place And Get It Over With.
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People Saying, 'life Didn't Turn Out The Way I Wanted It To.' Welcome To The Club. I Wanted To Be The Starting Center-fielder For The Boston Red Sox, For Chrissakes!
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I Would Have To Commit A Crime And Have Cops Chase Me. That Would Be The Only Way To Get Me To Jog Five Miles.
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I Have Good Kids, I Love My Kids. I Try To Bring Them Up The Right Way, Not Spanking Them. I Find That I Don't Have To Spank Them. I Find That Waving The Gun Around Pretty Much Gets The Same Job Done!
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I Don't Really Have A Lot Of Fun Playing Just Straight Good Guys. It's Not My Thing. It's Like Tom Hanks Territory.
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The Best Pitch I Ever Heard About Cocaine Was Back In The Early Eighties When A Street Dealer Followed Me Down The Sidewalk Going: I Got Some Great Blow Man. I Got The Stuff That Killed Belushi.
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Most People Think, "life Sucks, And Then You Die." I Disagree. I Think Life Sucks. Then You Get Cancer. Then You Go Into Chemotherapy. You Lose All Your Hair, You Feel Bad About Yourself. Then All Of The Sudden The Cancer Goes Into Remission, And Then All Of The Sudden You Have A Stroke. You Can't Move Your Right Side. And Then, Maybe, You Die.
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It Says On The Back Of The Nyquil Box, 'may Cause Drowsiness.' It Should Say, 'don't Make Any Plans, Ok? Kiss Your Family And Friends Good-bye.'
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If I'm President, There Are Going To Be Government Vans That Drive Around And Pick Up People Who Shouldn't Be Wearing Certain Clothing. Talk About Lack Of Civil Rights - I'm Sorry, I'm Pulling You Right Off The Street, And We're Giving You Clothes That You're Going To Be O.k. In.
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Government
I Did 12 Years With Nuns, You Know. So I Came Out Of It Going, Like, 'i Think Jesus Is All Right.' The Rest Of It I Think Stinks To The High Heavens.
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When You Write About Real Life, There's Always A Chance That Somebody Involved Is Going To See It And Get Upset.
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The Best Comedy Audiences In The Country And This Is Tried And True, I'm Not Just Saying It, In My Opinion Are Boston, Atlanta, And Chicago.
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Boston
You Get To A Certain Point, Especially If You're A Comedian, Where People Think Certain Things. It's Like, I Don't Take The Time To Explain It To People, It's Just Part Of What I Do.
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Anybody Who's Done Standup Will Tell You That There's Nothing Like It. The Show Starts At 8:00, The Curtain Goes Up And There's Nobody Else Except You And The Audience, And You Just Perform For Them For Two Hours. Nobody Yells, 'cut!' There Are No Retakes. That Is Still The Most Exciting Medium For Me, And I Love It.
Cutting
Two
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Crisis Doesn't Create Character; It Reveals It.
Character
Crisis
I'm One Of The People That When I Wake Up I Have To Do What I Do. It's Not Like I Want To Do It. I Kind Of Have To Do It.
People
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Want
My Wife And I Were Poor When I Started But We Struggled Along Until Things Happened For Me In My Thirties. I Knew I Was Doing What I Loved Even If I Wasn't Getting Paid For It, So I Think I'd Still Be Doing It.
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The First Movie I Saw Where It Convinced Me I Could Be An Actor Was 'mean Streets,' So Whenever I See Robert De Niro And He Says, 'hi, Denis,' It's Still A Really Big Deal.
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I've Eaten Things That Didn't Complain This Much.
Funny
Humor
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Liz [gillies] Doesn't Really Listen To Anything New, Besides Adele, Ariana Grande, And Stuff Like That. She Loves '70s Music And Old '60s Songs. She Loves Songwriters From The '70s That I Hate, Like Jim Croce And James Taylor, And She Loves Stevie Nicks And Old Jazz Classics.
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I Spent A Long Time Working In The Movies To Figure Out That Kind Of Acting And Also How To Write And Produce For The Screen.
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Long
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Sometimes 'great Acting' Is Just Showing Off - Chewing Up Scenery And Dialogue And Other Actors - The Equivalent Of A Theatrical Sugar Rush.
Acting
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The Thing With Movies Is, Because You Have So Little Time, I Always Feel Like There Are More Things We Could've Done With The Character. If We'd Done A Sequel To 'the Thomas Crown Affair,' What Would That Have Been Like? But For The Most Part, You Try Not To Think Of That, Because It's Just Going To Break Your Heart.
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Character
Thinking
With Any Actor, If You Know Your Character Well Enough, You'll Know Pretty Much What He Would Say Under Any Circumstance, Or Whatever Situation Might Rear Its Head.
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Actors
Might
That's Why I'm Glad Jesus Died When He Did. Because If He Lived To Be 40, He Would Have Ended Up Like Elvis. He Was Famous Already At That Point. If He Lived To Be 40, He'd Be Walking Around Jerusalem With A Big Fat Beer Gut And Black Side Burns Going, Damn, I'm The Son Of God. Give Me A Cheeseburger And French Fries Right Now.
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Jesus
Humor
Anthony Mackie In 'the Hurt Locker' Is Everything An Actor Can Hope To Be. So Rock Steady In His Portrayal That You Immediately Forget Every Performance He May Have Previously Given, And Focus Only On The Character In Front Of You.
Hurt
Character
Rocks
You Try To - You Want To Fly On Both Sides Of The Political Fence Because That's Where The - Where The Comedy Is.
Political
Trying
Want
I'm A Lapsed Catholic In The Best Sense Of The Word.
Catholic
When I First Got Famous, Greg Dulli Was Also Just Starting To Cook With The Afghan Whigs, And Because Of The Mtv Awards I Met Dave Grohl And Nirvana And All These Rock And Roll Bands. So I Had Experience With What It Was Like When People Were Taking Off At That Time.
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I Obviously Identify With The Anti-authority Figure. I've Pretty Much Always Had Problems With Authority, Ever Since I Was A Kid. But, Yeah, It's Not Identifying, I Think It's More A Part Of My Natural Dna That I Question Anybody Who Has A Plan. Everybody's Got To Have An Angle; That's The Way I Grew Up.
Kids
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It's Important To Have Your Own Space. I've Never Trusted People Who Do Everything Together. I Call Them "kool-aid Couples," Because It's Like They Drank The Same Kool-aid And It's Drugged Them Into Constantly Gazing Into Each Other's Eyes.
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Certain Movies Like 'wag The Dog,' We Used Improv On Every Scene That We Did. Pretty Much, We Would Shoot From The Script And Then Some Stuff That We Came Up With In Rehearsal, And Then We'd Have At Least One Or Two Takes Where We Completely Went Off The Script And Just Flew By The Seat Of Our Pants.
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Two
Rehearsal
I'm In My Truck Talking To Jesus. And You Can See A World Series Ring On My Right Pinkie Finger. But When I Take My Sunglasses Off A Second Later, It's Gone. It's The Whole Divine Intervention Thing. You Know Jesus Had Something To Do With Them Winning.
Jesus
Winning
Talking
Jerry Lewis Has Been Married Twenty Times. He Gets Married On A Tuesday, They Find His Wife Dead In A Swimming Pool On Thursday. Maybe If You Married Someone Who's Old Enough To Swim Next Time, Ok Jerry?
Swimming
Tuesday
Wife
Yeah, I Love Living In New York, Man, And People Who Live In New York, We Wear That Fact Like A Badge Right On Our Sleeve Because We Know That Fact Impresses Everybody! I Was In Vietnam. So What? I Live In New York!
Funny
New York
Humor
When I Clicked Into This Idea Of Doing A Band And Examining A Band As A Dysfunctional Family, I Wanted To Reverse That Rescue Me Formula.
Ideas
Band
Dysfunctional Family
How Many Whales Do We Really Need? I Figure Five. One For Each Ocean.
Ocean
Whales
Needs
My Primary Reason For Bringing My Son On Was To Have A Voice On The Show [sex&drugs&rock&roll] That Would Bring A 25 Or 26 Year Old Point Of View To It, And My Son Is Very Capable Of Writing That Stuff.
Sex
Writing
Son
I Don't Want A President Like Me! I Suck, Okay. I Want An Elitist, Smart Guy.
Smart
Guy
President
There We Were In The Middle Of A Sexual Revolution Wearing Clothes That Guaranteed We Wouldn't Get Laid.
Funny
Sexy
Humor
On A Movie, You Have A Great Time, And You're Really Enjoying The Work, And Then Everybody Is Done And Goes Their Separate Ways, And You Maybe Never Get To Work With Those People Again.
People
Done
Way
Most People Don't Know How Underpaid And Often Ill-equipped Urban Fire Departments Are Across North America.
Fire
America
People
The Only Difference Between Kids And Jungle Animals Is Pants. Kids Wear Them. Jungle Animals Don't.
Kids
Animal
Differences
I've Only Done Two Other Tv Shows [instead Of Sex&drugs&rock&roll], One Was Rescue Me And The Other Was A Show Called The Job, Which Was At Abc And Only On For Two Seasons.
Jobs
Sex
Rocks
I Was Working With Peter Tolan, Who Was My Writing Partner On Those Two [rescue Me And The Job], And He Did The Larry Sanders Show With Garry Shandling, And He Always Said That The Second Season Is Better Because You Know The Actors.
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Writing
Two
Vacuuming Is Great. I Do The Laundry. I Love Washing Machines. I'm The Maid In My House.
House
Machines
Maids
I'm A Pretty Boring Guy. Compared To Ashton Kutcher, I Live A Really Boring Existence.
Guy
Boring
Existence
Good Actors, Especially When They Know Their Character, Will Come In And Either Tell You In Advance That They Have An Idea, Or In The Middle Of The Rehearsal Or The Scene They'll Let It Loose And You Go, "ah That's Great."
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Ideas
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I Just Think It's Difficult For Them To See The Forest For The Trees Right Now, Which I Can't Blame Them For, Given The Circumstances They Found Themselves In.
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Humor
Thinking
I'm Really Happy I Went To A Catholic School Because A Lot Of The Repressive Tactics They Use Make For Great Senses Of Humor.
School
Catholic
Use
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Stupid
Long
Intellectual
Peter Falk And Denis Leary Today Walked Into A Starbucks And Shot 27 People, Without Any Announcement Whatsoever.
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Humor
People
I Certainly Know Guys In Comedy, I Know Some Actors, And I Definitely Know Some Musicians, Who Have Survived To A Certain Age And Make A Good Living Doing What They Do, But Nobody Knows Who They Are. They Wake Up Every Day And They Have The Ability To Get Paid Practicing Their Art, But Underneath It All, If You Scratched The Surface, You Still Get, "if I Only Had My Own Show . . .," Or "if I Only Had My Own Band . . ." It's What People Always Do When They Want To Be Their Own Star.
Art
Stars
People
Most Movies Suck, Even The Independent Ones. Hollywood Is Like Baseball: Hit Three Good Ones Out Of 10 And You're A Hall Of Famer.
Baseball
Independent
Hollywood
If You Do Good Work, It Tends To Stick Around. People Still Come Up To Me And Say, "'the Ref' Is My Favorite Christmas Movie."
People
Sticks
My Favorite
Usually When You Watch A Film, You're Just Sort Of Biting Your Nails About Things You Could Have Done Differently.
Nails
Watches
Done
You Really Want To Have A Back-up Plan, So When You Don't Feel Like Acting, Or You're Getting Older And Settling Down, You Can Produce Your Own Stuff. So That's When I Set About Forming My Own Company And Getting Creative Control.
Creative
Getting Older
Acting
My Charity Is In The Business Of Helping Firefighters In Any Way That We Can. For Instance, After 9/11 We Were The Second-fastest Charity To Raise And Distribute Money To The Widows And Surviving Family Members Of The 343 Firefighters Who Died That Day.
Firefighter
Widows
Charity
The Social Wishlist On Facebook Is A Great Example Of Everything Right About Social Media.
Media
Example
Social Media
I Guess You Get Pigeon-holed In Hollywood, But I'm Ok With That Because I've Been Able To Do A Lot. I Started In The Theater, Then I Went To Stand-up Comedy, And Then When I Went Into The Movies To Do Comedy And Drama And Big Movies And Small Movies.
Drama
Hollywood
Able
I Had A Relationship With An Italian Chick That Was Built On Just Fighting And Sex. As Much As All Women Won't Let Go Of Stuff, Italian Girls Won't Let Go Of Anything. And She Punched Really Hard. I Got Tired Of The Arguing It Took To Get To The Sex.
Girl
Letting Go
Sex
I Take Music Pretty Seriously. You See That Scar On My Wrist? You See That? You Know Where That's From? I Heard The Bee Gees Were Getting Back Together Again. I Couldn't Take It, Ok!
Funny
Humor
Together Again
The Filter's The Best Part. That's Where They Put The Heroin.
Funny
Humor
Filters
We've Always Talked About Doing Something Else And Campbell Scott Is Always Busy And I'm Always Busy. But When We Came Up With The Idea Of Doing The Potato Famine As A Hip Hop Musical, I Wanted Somebody Who Was Going To Bring Gravity.
Ideas
Hip Hop
Musical
One Thing That's Great About Firefighters: If They Don't Have The Equipment They Desperately Need, They Don't Have The Help, They Don't Care. They'll Do It On Their Own.
Firefighter
Needs
Care
You Can Have Good Writing, But A Great Actor Will Make It Feel And Sound Like Great Writing. You Can Have Great Writing, And Mediocre Actors Will Make It Feel Mediocre. Without The Actors, You Have Nothing.
Writing
Sound
Actors
I Think We're Going To Carry The 'ice Age's Up To 'ice Age 15,' Which Means Basically They'll Be In The Present Decade.
Mean
Thinking
Ice
I'm No Prophet And I'm No Genius, But I Can Only Tell You What I Seem To Know. As A Fan Of Television And The Movies, I Think It's All For The Better.
Thinking
Fans
Genius
Where I Grew Up, The Basketball Courts Were Rarely Used.
Basketball
Grew Up
Used
What's Politically Correct A Lot Of Times Is Not Funny.
Politically Correct
My Brother And I Tortured My Mother Growing Up.
Mother
Brother
Growing Up
Firefighters Don't Go On Strike.
Firefighter
Goes On
Strikes
I Will Not Bond. I Will Not Share. I Refuse To Nurture.
Funny
Humor
Share
For Us As Writers, It's Really Important To Have Songs We Believe In - Even Before Sometimes We Shoot A Scene. If We Have A Song That's So Perfectly Designed For A Scene On 'rescue Me,' We'll Play It On Loud Speakers During The Shooting. It Helps The Cameraman And It Helps The Director, And It Helps The Actors Know What The Feel Is.
Song
Believe
Play
There's No Male Oprah.
Males
Everyone Should Have An Evil Secret Plan.
Funny
Clever
Smart
I'm Not Really A Spider-man Fan. I'm More Of A Batman Guy.
Men
Guy
Fans
There Are About A Thousand Different Variations On A Horse Neigh. Some Of Them Sound Like A Horse Having Sex, Some Of Them Like A Horse Having Sad Sex.
Horse
Sex
Sound
I Remember 9/11; We Had 'comics Come Home' About A Month After Those Events. That Night, Even The Comedians Were Concerned. Would The Audience Be Ready To Laugh? It Was A Release For Everyone.
Home
Night
Laughing
Why Hate Someone For The Color Of Their Skin When There Are Much Better Reasons To Hate Them?
Funny
Hate
Humor
I Try And Shoot As Often As I Can, I Cross Shoot. I Have At Least Two Cameras Rolling At The Same Time. So I'll Have Two Actors Or Two Sets Of Actors At A Time So Everybody's Basically On Camera. So When They Improvise We Have Everybody's Coverage. And You Can Then Go In The Editing Room And Find The Energy Still Stays There.
Two
Editing
Trying
I Think Daycare Is Great For People Who Have To Work Two Jobs. My Problem Is With People Who Are Dropping Kids Off At Daycare Because They Want To Go Out And Spend The Day Golfing Or Getting Their Nails Done. You Know What I Mean? That's Not Why They Invented Daycare.
Jobs
Mean
Kids
I Eat Meat Because Meat Tastes Like Murder, And Murder Tastes Pretty Dam Good!
Meat
Dams
Taste
I Want You To Take Away The Hope Because That's The Thing That's Killing Me.
Funny
Humor
Want
Everything You Look At Now, The Scripts That Come In That You Look At, The Television Scripts Are Way Better Than The Movie Script. The Talent Is Going To Television.
Looks
Television
Way
In Addition To My Cousin, There Were 30 Or 40 Guys I Grew Up With Who Became Firefighters As Well. So, I've Been Around Firefighters All My Life.
Cousin
Firefighter
Guy
I Really Want To Do A Western Film. It's One Of My Favorite Movie Genres Of All Time.
Want
Film
My Favorite
No Matter What Anybody Says, Relationships Are Based On Physical Attraction. The First Time I Saw My Wife, It Was Pure Animal Whatever.
Animal
Wife
Matter
People Are Disappointed That You Aren't Exactly Who They Thought You Were, As Opposed To Somebody Who's Just Walking Around Trying To Get Some Laundry Done.
People
Trying
Done
Elvis And I Call Up Cadillac Dealerships All Night Long, Suckin' Down Ny Quil Stingers And Cheese. He Says, What The Hell's Lisa Marie Thinking With That Michael Jackson Crap?
Night
Thinking
Long
Sin Is In, And So We Begin.
Sin
I Didn't Raise My Kids With The Fear Of God.
Kids
Raises
Marriage Is Like A Dull Meal With The Dessert At The Beginning.
Meals
Dull
Dessert
I Fell Asleep During 'year One' Twice. And My Son, Who Never Falls Asleep During A Jack Black Movie, Also Nodded Off. That's How Bad It Was. I Was Incredibly Disappointed.
Fall
Son
Years
Kids Are Incredibly Expensive. But It Pays Off Later When They Are Better Educated, Bigger, And Better-looking Than You. And Find You Incessantly Boring And Uncool.
Kids
Bigger And Better
Pay
My Dad Was Very Much A John Wayne Kind Of Guy, But He Was Also A Great Guy, Great Sense Of Humor, A Real Dedicated Dad. I Don't Think He Ever Missed A Hockey Game I Was In.
Dad
Real
Hockey
My Kids Watch Everything Downloaded; They Have No Idea What The Numbers Or The Names Of The Channels Mean, Except "fx Makes The Show That I See On My Computer." So It's Harder To Get A Show On The Air, But At The Same Time, There Are A Lot Of Terrific Shows.
Mean
Kids
Air
It Would Be Great If Firefighters Across The Country Had The Guarantee That They Would Be Making Enough Money To Support Their Family Right From The Get-go, But That's Not The Case.
Country
Guarantees That
Firefighter
White Men Have Screwed This Country Up! I Would Like A Black, Female…. Everything All Rolled Into One.i Want Something Different. I Want A Real Change. People, I Want A President Who Speaks Well, Who Has A Sense Of Humor. This Guy Is Such A Moron! It's Beyond The Point Where It's A Joke. He's An Idiot.
Country
Real
Men
I'm No Day At The Beach. And If It Is A Beach, It's Hampton Beach. Ever Been There? It's Not Nice.
Beach
Nice
Hamptons
I Learned A Long Time Ago, If You Want To Keep Your Friends In Show Business, Don't Get Famous. Because As Soon As You Get Famous, A Lot Of The People You Used To Know, Who Didn't, Become Incredibly Bitter And Jealous. It's Part Of The Territory.
Jealous
Long
People
Stand-up Comedy And Comedy In General Is The Ultimate Form Of Free Speech, Because You Get To Poke Holes In All The Pretentious Bubbles Politicians And Pundits And Popes And Pretenders Try To Float Over Our Heads.
Trying
Speech
Comedy
Life Sucks,get A Helmet
Life Sucks
Life Is Hard
Helmet
If You Had No Enemies, You Had No Fun.
Fun
Enemy
Ifs
Let Me Tell You Something: I Love The Yankees. And Let Me Tell You Why: Because Without The Yankees, There Is Nobody To Hate.
Hate
Yankees
Let Me
When I'm On Stage, That's Me. It's Blown Up, But That's Me.
Stage
I Bought My Daughter A Chihuahua And I Fell In Love With It. So Now I Carry Coco Around With Me All The Time.
Daughter
Mother
My Daughter
Did You Ever Notice They Never Take Any Fat Hostages? You Never See A Guy Coming Out Of Lebanon Going: "i Was Held Hostage For Seven Months And I Lost 175 Pounds, I Feel Good And I Look Good And I Learned Self-discipline. That's The Important Thing."
Funny
Humor
Self
When I Was A Teenager, You Couldn't Get Straight Pants. Then In '76, When Punk Started To Hit, It Was A Revelation That You Could Find Straight Pants Again.
Teenager
Pants
Punk
I Obviously Identify With The Anti-authority Figure. I've Pretty Much Always Had Problems With Authority, Ever Since I Was A Kid.
Kids
Problem
Authority
Don't Buy The Toys That Make The Noise!
Funny
Humor
Noise
Not Eating Meat Is A Decision, Eating Meat Is An Instinct.
Funny
Humor
Meat Eating
The Biggest Battle For A Lot Of People Who Come Out Of The Theater, Which Is Where I Was Trained, Is That They Can Never Forget That A Camera Is Pointed At Them.
People
Battle
Cameras
I'm The Enemy. Because I Like To Think, I Like To Read. I'm Into Freedom Of Speech, The Freedom Of Choice. I'm The Kind Of Guy Who Likes To Sit In A Greasy Spoon And Wonder - "gee, Should I Have The T-bone Steak Or The Jumbo Rack Of Bbq Ribs With The Side Order Of Gravy Fries?" I Want High Cholesterol. I Wanna Eat Bacon And Butter And Buskets Of Cheese, Okay? I Wanna Smoke A Cuban Cigar The Size Of Cincinnati In The Non-smoking Section. I Wanna Run Through The Streets Naked With Green Jell-o All Over My Body Reading Playboy Magazine. Why? Because I Suddenly Might Feel The Need To, Okay, Pal?
Running
Reading
Thinking
I'm Gonna Get One Of Those Tracheotomies, So I Can Smoke Two Cigarettes At The Same Time! I'm Gonna Get Nine Tracheotomies, All Around My Neck, I'll Be Tracheotomy Man! He Can Smoke A Pack At A Time, He's Tracheotomy Man!
Funny
Humor
Men
Sometimes I Park In Handicap Spaces While Handicapped People Make Handicapped Faces.
Space
People
Evil
There Are Some Guys I Know For A Fact, Like Louis C.k., Who Always Talk About How Not-great Of An Actor He Is, And He's Terrific On His Show. But I Know Louis Would Play A Fantastic Dramatic Role In Something, Too. He Just Needs Somebody To Grab Him And Say, "come In Here And Do This."
Play
Guy
Needs
Kathy Bates Is Sexy. It's Partly Because Of Her Talent, But She's Got A Great Face, And A Great Laugh.
Sexy
Laughing
Faces
We Live In A Country Where John Lennon Takes Eight Bullets, Yoko Ono Is Walking Right Beside Him And Not One Hits Her. Explain That To Me!
Funny
Country
Humor
I Like To Give The Actors Freedom To Take What We Have On The Page And Improve On It. And They Do That Quite A Bit.
Giving
Actors
Pages
Science Fiction Was Never My Thing. I Have No Interest In It.
Fiction
Science Fiction
Interest
There's Nothing Wrong With An Actor That Can't Improvise, But If You're Going To Improvise, You Gotta Make Sure You Got People That Can Play The Game.
Games
Play
People
My Father Could Swear In Gaelic And English, By The Way, Ladies And Gentlemen.
Father
Gentleman
Way
George Carlin Was Great Right Up To The End Of His Life. But Richard Pryor Was Probably The Best, Most Gifted Stand-up Comedian Who Will Ever Live.
Comedian
Ends
Gifted
If The World Somehow Actually Ends Tomorrow, Let All Forget About The Mayans And Just Agree It`s The Nhl`s Fault
Nhl
World
Faults
Heavy Metal Fans Are Buying Heavy Metal Records, Taking The Records Home, Listening To The Records And Then Blowing Their Heads Off With Shotguns? Where's The Problem? That's An Unemployment Solution Right There, Folks! It's Called Natural Selection.
Funny
Home
Humor
Happy Easter Everyone! Jesus Dies, Comes Back From The Dead - And We Get Chocolate Eggs. It's Like Turn-down Service From God.
Jesus
Easter
Chocolate Eggs
Charlotte Rampling, When She Was Younger, Looked Exactly Like My Wife. That's One Of The Reasons That When I First Saw My Wife, My Knees Buckled. Based On Her Looks Alone, She Was Already In My Kitchen Making Eggs.
Eggs
Wife
Kitchen
The Second Season Is Generally Easier Do Because You Know The Actors Better And They Know The Characters Better And If Everybody Likes Each Other You Can Really Go All Types Of Places.
Character
Likes
Actors
Once You Have A Firefighter In Your Family, Your Family And The Families From His Crew Become One Big Extended Family.
Firefighter
Bigs
Crew
We Drink And We Die And Continue To Drink.
Drinking
Funny Drinking
Drink
I Think All Priests Should Be Married.
Thinking
Married
Should
What I've Learned Is That Life Is Too Short And Movies Are Too Long.
Inspirational
Life Is Too Short
Long
My Father Left Ireland Because He Did Not Want To Muck Horse Manure For The Rest Of His Life, And He Wanted To Come To New York.
Horse
New York
Father
At Some Level, You've Got To Have The Ability To - Especially In Film And In Front Of The Camera, You Got To Have The Ability To Drop Into Character And Close Off The Entire Crew And The Camera And Everything Else.
Character
Cameras
Levels
Every Actor Thinks He Can Do Comedy, And It's Not True.
Thinking
Actors
Comedy
This Is The Most Exciting Place In The World To Live. Oh Yeah! There Are So Many Ways To Die In New York City! Race Riots, Drive By Shootings, Subway Crashes, Construction Cranes Collapsing On The Sidewalks, Manhole Covers Blowing Up And Asbestos Shooting Into The Sky.
Funny
New York
Humor
"yeah, Well, If You Eat Red Meat, It Stays In Your Colon For Fifteen Years!" Good! I Paid For It; I Want It In My Ass, Okay? I Want Them To Find A Meat Sweater From My Esophagus To My Asshole When They Open Me Up In The End! "this Guy's Covered In Meat! He's Meat-man! He's Meat-tracheotomy-man!"
Funny
Humor
Men
I Love Santa Monica And Venice Because I Like The Beach. I Have A Lot Of Friends In That Area.
Beach
Venice
Lots Of Friends
My Goal Is To Leave This Planet With The Biggest Carbon Footprint I Can Possibly Leave.
Carbon Footprint
Goal
Planets
I Really, Really Like 'eastbound & Down.' It's One Of The Few Things That Makes Me Laugh.
Laughing
Make Me Laugh
Doing The Same Character Over And Over, It Gets Boring.
Character
Boring
Over It
I've Always Had A Thing For Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer Or Halle Berry In Tight Leather Pants, With The Boots - I'm Pretty Good With Either One.
Leather Pants
Berries
Boots
If A Character Dies, You Get To Do A Big, Juicy Death Scene. But The Flip Side Is You're Out Of The Sequel, Which Is Where The Real Money Is.
Real
Character
Flip
My Career Plan At This Point Is 'ice Age 5' Through '10,' And Even '12,' And 'spider Man' - You Know, Basically I'd Be Emma Stone's Dad For The Rest Of My Career. I Really Don't Have Any Problem Doing That.
Dad
Men
Ice
My Cousin Jerry Lucey And Five Other Firefighters Died In A Warehouse Fire In Worcester, Mass. - My Hometown - Right In The Middle Of Our Old Neighborhood Downtown When A Homeless Couple Started A Fire To Keep Warm And The Entire Building Went Up. My Cousin Died Trying To Save Homeless People Who Had Already Left The Building.
Cousin
Couple
Fire
I'm Pretty Much A Chocolate Guy. I'm Up For Any Type Of Chocolate. Any Chocolate.
Guy
Chocolate
Type
Everybody's Vying For People's Attention In Terms Of Eyeballs, Earholes, And Dollars.
People
Dollars
Attention
I Have A Lot Of Conservative Views On A Lot Of Things.
Views
Conservative
There's A Method Aspect To Campbell Scott Character And He Really Wants To Get Into His Character And He Wants To Cast To Go On A Fast So That By The Time The Play Opens Nobody's Eaten In Three Days Because He Wants The Audience To Feel The Pain From The Stage.
Pain
Character
Play
I Don't Want To See A 'sopranos' Movie. This Is Just Me. I Like To Think The End Is Where It Was On Tv As Opposed To Becoming A Movie.
Thinking
Want
Tvs
I'd Love To Play In A Red Sox Game. It Would Be So Awesome To Actually Walk Out On The Field And Play, Just For One Inning. I'd Also Steal Everything I Could Get My Hands On In The Clubhouse, Which Is Why They Won't Let Me Do It.
Hands
Games
Play
Once People Start To Think They've Wasted Parts Of Their Life, Or They're Wasting Their Life As They Speak, That Means There's Going To Be Great Dramatic And Comedic Tension.
Mean
Thinking
People
Hockey's My Favorite Sport.
Sports
Hockey
My Favorite
I Can't Text. My Fingers Are Too Big.
Bigs
Fingers
I Can
I'm Sick And Tired Of Our Generation Being Called The Tv Generation. What Do You Expect? We Watched Lee Harvey Oswald Get His Brains Blown Out All Over. How Could We Change The Channel After That?
Funny
Tired
Humor
Bill Murray Doesn't Do Anything. He Barely Shows Up At The Movies He Says He's Going To Do.
Bills
Shows
You Can't Teach Somebody How To Be Funny. You're Either Funny, Or You Ain't.
Teach
Campbell [scott] Also Directed Me In A Film With Hope Davis Called Final. That Was The First Thing We Did Together, But I've Known Him For Years.
Years
Together
Finals
When I Become President, All You Assholes That Ride Bikes In The City? Lock And Load! You're Going Down!
Cities
President
Locks
There Is A Huge Boom In Autism Right Now Because Inattentive Mothers And Competitive Dads Want An Explanation For Why Their Dumb-ass Kids Can't Compete Academically, So They Throw Money Into The Happy Laps Of Shrinks . . . To Get Back Diagnoses That Help Explain Away The Deficiencies Of Their Junior Morons. I Don't Give A [bleep] What These Crackerjack Whack Jobs Tell You - Yer Kid Is Not Autistic. He's Just Stupid. Or Lazy. Or Both.
Mother
Jobs
Dad
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