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How Does She Know It's The Right Room?' Wondered Descant. Oh, I Don't Know; Mabye It's The Magical Red Glow Coming From The Doorway, Or Perhaps It's The Deafening Howl Of The Temporal Winds.' Said Mervall. Descant Nodded.'you Could Be Right, Brother. And Don't Think I Don't Know Sarcasm When I Hear It.

-Eoin Colfer

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How Does She Know

Eoin Colfer

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How Does She Know It's The Right Room?' Wondered Descant. Oh, I Don't Know; Mabye It's The Magical Red Glow Coming From The Doorway, Or Perhaps It's The Deafening Howl Of The Temporal Winds.' Said Mervall. Descant Nodded.'you Could Be Right, Brother. And Don't Think I Don't Know Sarcasm When I Hear It.

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Evolution Is A Theory With More Holes Than A Dutch Dam Of Swiss Cheese.

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The Sarcasm Made A Slight Whistling Noise As It Flew Over Loafers' Head.

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"that Was Horrible. Horrible. That Poor Little Guy." Pex Was Unrepentant. "yeah, Well, He Asked For It. Calling Us... All Those Things." But Buried Alive?! That's Like In That Horror Movie. Y'know The One With All The Horror." "i Think I Saw That One. With All The Words Going Up On The Screen At The End?" "yeah, That Was It. Tell You The Truth, Those Words Kinda Ruined It For Me."

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A Monkey Glances Up And Sees A Banana, And That's As Far As He Looks. A Visionary Looks Up And Sees The Moon.

I Am Charging You With The Protection Of My Mother And Friends, Not To Mention Keeping My Younger Self Off The Internet. He Is As Dangerous As Opal.

(about Dr. Po) Just Another Quack Spouting Psychobabble.

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Holly Frowned At Her. "glad To See You've Forgiven Yourself So Quickly." "harboring Feelings Of Guilt Can Have A Negative Affect On Mental Health." "child Geniuses," Growled Holly. "genii," Said Minerva.

You Need To Stop Thinking With Your Head, Mud Boy, And Start Thinking With Your Heart.” Artemis Sighed. The Heart Was An Organ For Pumping Oxygen-rich Blood To The Cells. It Could No More Think Than An Apple Could Tap-dance.

Anything Else, Butler?" "the Cosh, Sir.

Commander: What's That? Foaly: It's A Finger, What Does Look Like?

That Was All He Said, Except For "aaaeerrgghhh." Which Is Not Really A Word. But The Reason That He Screamed "aaaeerrgghhh" Was That Franco Had Bitten Him Savegly On The Wrist.

...this Is The Only Way. I Will Not Allow Humans Or Fairies To Die When I Might Have Prevented It.” Butler Would Not Give Up. “listen To Yourself. You Sound Like A... Like A Good Guy! There’s Nothing In This For You.

The Thing About Reading Is That If You Are Hooked, You're Not Going To Stop Just Because One Series Is Over; You're Going To Go And Find Something Else.

Yes. Because Every Family Needs A Laser For Thier Family Jet.

As A Child, Zaphod Had Been Diagnosed With Adhddaaadhd (ntm) Abt Which Stood For Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not To Mention) A Bit Thick.

How Was Your... Eh... Trip?" Artemis Felt The Sting Of Tears In His Own Eyes. "um, Eventful.

...to Be Injured On This Tundra Would Lead To A Quick And Painful Death—or At The Very Least Abject Humiliation Before The Popping Flashes Of The Tourist Season's Tail End, Which Was Slightly Less Painful Than A Painful Death, But Lasted Longer.

Of Course I Saved You," She Said. "i Couldn't Do Without You." And Because She Was Happy And Flushed With Magic Holly Leaned Down And Kissed Artemis, Magic Sparking Around The Contact Like Tiny Fireworks.

I Don't Suppose You Would Consider Peaceful Surrender?

If You're Going To Read Five Books, Three Should Be Issues And Two For Fun.

I Want You To Know, My Dear Friend, That Without You, I Would Not Be The Person I Am Today." He Leaned In Close And Whispered, "i Was A Broken Boy, And You Fixed Me. Thank You.

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They Have Gone. And The Tunnel Is About To Close. So, Boys, I Am Looking For Someone To Blame.

I Bet," Said Mulch, "that You Would Set The World On Fire Just To Watch It Burn." Opal Tapped The Suggestion Into A Small Electronic Notepad On Her Pocket Computer. Thanks For That. Now, Tell Me Everything.

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Anything Can Be Real. Every Imaginable Thing Is Happening Somewhere Along The Dimensional Axis. These Things Happen A Billion Times Over With Exactly The Same Outcome And No One Learns Anything. Whatever A Person Can Think, Imagine, Wish For, Or Believe Has Already Come To Pass. Dreams Come True All The Time, Just Not For The Dreamers.

Look At Those Two. Wasting Time. You Wouldn't Catch Me Doing That.

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Genius Inspires Resentment. A Sad Fact Of Life.

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Scientists Are The Enemies Of Tradition , And Tradition Own All The Prisons. - Victor Vigny

Im Riding A Troll! I Was Born To Do This,and Steal Stuff, And Eat Loads!

A Cloak Of Invisibility? This Is A Highly Sensitive Piece Of Field Equipment. What Does He Think? Some Warlock Pulled It Out Of His Armpit?

It Would Take Less Than A Second For You To Die. But That's Quite Long Enough To Be In Mortal Agony, Don't You Think?

What Many People Don't Know About 'peter Pan' Is That It's A Very Violent Book And Hook Is One Of The Most Finely Observed Villains Ever.

Play Along, The Wink Said. I'll Get You Out Of This. At Least Artemis Hoped This Was What His Wink Communicated And Not Something Like 'any Chance Of Another Kiss Later?

Artemis: Holly, How Did You Find Me? Holly: Oh, I Saw A Huge Explosion And Wondered: Now, Who Could That Be?

Really, I'm Trying To Care, Artemis, Really. But I Thought It Was All Supposed To Be Over When The Fat Lady Sings. Well, She's Singing, But It Doesn't Appear To Be Over

It Took Teams Of Lep Warlocks To Slow Down Time For A Few Hours; The Magic Required To Open A Door To The Tunnel Was Stupendous. It Would Be Easier To Shoot Down The Moon. Opal Tapped This Into Her Notepad. Reminder. Shoot Down The Moon? Viable?

Her Glare Was So Intense That You Completely Forgot She Was Wearing Pink.

My Bugs Don't Have Bugs.

Satan Was Crouched In The Corner Of His Office, Playing A Gameboy, 'die Alien Scum' He Was Saying Feverishly.

A Cd. How Quaint. We Have These In Museums.

Caballine Likes Me To Be Masterful. She Calls Me Her Stallion.

My Truffles? You Took Them? That's Just Mean!

Radomosity, Thought Artemis. And He Felt Like Weeping.

Onscreen, Foaly Rubbed His Eyelids With His Index Fingers. "yeah, Yeah. Here We Go. Captain Short Goes Rogue Once More. Hands Up Who's Surprised. Anyone?

Listen To Me, Convict. I Have Not Traveled All This Way To Listen To Your War Stories. So Shut Your Trap Before I Shut It For You. Commander Julius Root

Holly Died Without A Friend To Hold Her Hand. Artemis Felt Her Go, Another Gift Of The Magic. He Kept On Counting, Brushing Away The Tears On His Cheeks.

That's The Last Order I'll Ever Give You Captain. Don't You Dare Ignore It.

Ma Was Using Her For-company Voice. Sweet On The Outside But With An Underlying Death Threat.

What's That Supposed To Mean? A Wolf's Head On A Stick. Big Wolf Barbecue Tonight? Bring Your Own Wolf?

Artemis Turned And Stared At His Friend With The Blue Eyes. Holly Was Staring Back, And She Was Smiling. “i Remember,” She Said Aloud. “you Saved Me.” Artemis Smiled Back. “it Never Happened,” He Said.

He Knew That Dr. Argon Would Advise Him Against Bottling Up His Emotions As It Would Lead To Psychological Scarring In The Long Term.

Don't You Worry About That, Mr. Adamsson. Why Don't You Head Back To Reykjavik And Spend Some Of That Extortionate Fee You Charged Me For A Couple Of Hours' Usage Of Your Frankly Third-rate Restaurant And Perhaps Find A Friendless Tree Stump To Listen To Your Woes?

That’s What I Thought. When I Looked That Human In The Face. I Figured He Was Either A Genius Or Crazy.” Artemis’s Cool Eyes Glared At Them From The Screen. “so Which Is It?” Asked Foaly. “a Genius Or Crazy?” Root Grabbed His Tri-barreled Blaster From The Gun Rack. “what’s The Difference?

I Am Unarmed. But Butler Here, My ...ah...butler, Has A Sig Saucer In His Shoulder Holster, Two Shrike-throwing Knives In His Boots, Aderringer Two-shot Up His Sleeve, Garrotte Wire In His Watch, And Three Stun Greanades Concealed In Variouse Pockets. Anything Else, Butler?

Sig Sauer. Nine Millimetres. Thirteen In The Magazine. Big Bullets. One Of These Hits You And It Could Blow Your Head Off; Something Even The Magic Can't Fix. Other Than That You Should Be All Right, Presuming You Remembered To Wear The Regulation Above-ground Micro-fibre Jumpsuit Recently Patented By Me. Then Again, Being A Recon Jock, You Probably Didn't.

Meg And Belch Only Had Eyes For Each Other. Not In The Usual Romantic Sense.

Let Us Proceed Under The Assumption That The Fairy Folk Do Exist, And That I Am Not A Gibbering Moron.

I Hear That You Were On A Date With Trouble Kelp. Are You Two Planning On Building A Bivouac Any Time Soon?

Well, I Don't Like The First Bit And I Don't Know The Last Bit. So I'm Really Hoping The Middle Bit Is Exceptional.

When I Went To School, I Was Already Reading And Writing. In Fact, I Was Offended That The Other Kids Couldn't.

Connor Broekhart Was Born To Fly, Or More Accurately He Was Born Flying.

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