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Thankfully The Rest Of The World Assumed That The Irish Were Crazy, A Theory That The Irish Themselves Did Nothing To Debunk. They Had Somehow Got It Into Their Heads That Each Fairy Lugged Around A Pot Of Gold With Him Wherever He Went. While It Was True That Lep Had A Ransom Fund, Because Of Its Officers' High-risk Occupation, No Human Had Ever Taken A Chunk Of It Yet. This Didn't Stop The Irish Population In General From Skulking Around Rainbows, Hoping To Win The Supernatural Lottery.

-Eoin Colfer

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Thankfully The Rest Of

Eoin Colfer

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Thankfully The Rest Of The World Assumed That The Irish Were Crazy, A Theory That The Irish Themselves Did Nothing To Debunk. They Had Somehow Got It Into Their Heads That Each Fairy Lugged Around A Pot Of Gold With Him Wherever He Went. While It Was True That Lep Had A Ransom Fund, Because Of Its Officers' High-risk Occupation, No Human Had Ever Taken A Chunk Of It Yet. This Didn't Stop The Irish Population In General From Skulking Around Rainbows, Hoping To Win The Supernatural Lottery.

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I Can't Imagine What They're Planning. But I Can Tell You Two Things. We Won't Like It, And It Won't Be Legal.

There Will Be Consequences For This, He Thought. You Can't Alter Time And Not Be Affected. But Whatever The Consequences Are, I Will Bear Them, Because The Alternative Is Too Terrible. -artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony

Foaly: Anyone See You Come In Here? Holly: The Fbi, Cia, Nsa, Dea, Mi6. Oh, And The Eib. Foaly: The Eib? Holly: (smirking) Everyone In The Building.

Other Men Look Up And Down, Left And Right; But Men Like Us Are Different. We Are Visionaries.

Play Along, The Wink Said. I'll Get You Out Of This. At Least Artemis Hoped This Was What His Wink Communicated And Not Something Like 'any Chance Of Another Kiss Later?

Not Me," Said Orion Cheerily. "i'm Just A Teenager With Hormones Running Wild. And May I Say ,young Fairy Lady, They're Running Wild In Your Direction." Holly Lifted Her Visor And Looked The Hormonal Teenager In The Eye. "this Had Better Not Be A Game, Artemis. If You Do Not Have Some Serious Psychosis, You Will Be Sorry." "oh, I'm Crazy, Alright. I Do Have Plenty Of Psychoses," Said Orion Cheerily. "multiple Personality, Delusional Dementia, Ocd. I've Got Them All, But Most Of All, I'm Crazy About You.

Listen To Me, Convict. I Have Not Traveled All This Way To Listen To Your War Stories. So Shut Your Trap Before I Shut It For You. Commander Julius Root

When You've Come Face-to-face With The Dark Side Of The School Yard, Life Doesn't Hold Many Surprises.

Grab Some Caviar From The Kitchen. You Wouldn't Believe The Muck They Feed Us In Bartleby's For Ten Thousand A Term.

Being In Command Means Making Tough Decisions. Not Being In Command Means Shutting Up And Doing What You're Told. --artemis Fowl

People Are Afraid Of You, Arty. Girls Are Terrified Of You. You’re A Fifteen-year-old In A Bespoke Suit, And Nobody Died.

Satan Was Crouched In The Corner Of His Office, Playing A Gameboy, 'die Alien Scum' He Was Saying Feverishly.

In Spite Of What Youngsters Think, Parents Do Not Get A Sneaky Thrill Out Of Punishing Their Children.

I Feel Like Alice Falling Into Wonderland. A Line Came To Him: It Would Be So Nice If Something Made Sense For A Change.

Knock Yourself Out... Or Rather, Don't.

I Am Perhaps Unusual In That I Came To 'doctor Who' Through The Numerous Novelisations And Not Through The Television Show.

Me," Artemis Blurted. "i'm The Nut." Artemis Could Have Sworn The Squid Winked At Him Before Bringing The Five-ton Chunk Of Spacecraft Swinging Down Toward The Morsel Of Meat In Its Blue Shell. "i'm The Nut!" Artemis Shouted Again, A Little Hysterically, It Must Be Said.

Trust Me. I Haven't Been Wrong Yet.

You Know, Miss Holly, You Look Very Dramatic Like That, Backlit By The Fire. Very Attractive, If I May Say So. I Know You Shared A Moment Passionne With Artemis Which He Subsequently Fouled Up With His Typical Boorish Behavior. Let Me Just Throw Something Out There For You To Consider While We're Chasing The Probe: I Share Artemis's Passion But Not His Boorishness. No Pressure; Just Think About It. This Was Enough To Elicit A Deafening Moment Of Silence Even In The Middle Of A Crisis, Which Orion Seemed To Be Blissfully Unaffected By.

Don't You Worry About That, Mr. Adamsson. Why Don't You Head Back To Reykjavik And Spend Some Of That Extortionate Fee You Charged Me For A Couple Of Hours' Usage Of Your Frankly Third-rate Restaurant And Perhaps Find A Friendless Tree Stump To Listen To Your Woes?

The Problem Is That I Know The Textbook Answers To Any Question You Care To Ask.

If Koboi Defeats And Presumably Murders Us Both Then You Can Consider The Debt Null And Void.

I Can Grow Cameras!" She Had Shrieked At The Brill Brothers During One Briefing. "who's To Say That Despicable Centaur Foaly Hasn't Succeded In Splicing Surveillance Equiptment To Plants? So Get Rid Of All The Flowers. Rocks, Too. I Don't Trust Them. Sullen Little Blebers.

I Am Older And Have More Control Over My Empathy,' Said Qwan. 'that's Why I Didn't Throw Up.' And Having Said That, He Threw Up.

I Have Always Loved 'stig Of The Dump.' I Think Reading That Book Made Me Officially Realise That I Was A Reader.

When I Went To School, I Was Already Reading And Writing. In Fact, I Was Offended That The Other Kids Couldn't.

Have You Ever Heard Of The Theory Of Relativity?" Artemis Blinked. "is This A Joke? I Have Traveled Through Time, Doctor. I Think I Know A Little Something About Relativity.

(text Message) Cmdr Root. Trble Below. Havn Ovrrn By Goblins. Plce Plaza Srrounded. Cudgeon + Opl Kboi Bhnd Plot. No Wpons Or Cmmunications. Dna Cnons Cntrlled By Kboi. I M Trpped In Op Bth. Cncl Thnks Im 2 Blm. If Alive Plse Hlp. If Not, Wrng Nmbr.

Artemis: Holly, How Did You Find Me? Holly: Oh, I Saw A Huge Explosion And Wondered: Now, Who Could That Be?

Certainly, Doctor. Let's Talk About Your Chair. Victorian?

Genius Inspires Resentment. A Sad Fact Of Life.

Orion Brightened. "i Have An Idea." "yes?" Said Foaly, Daring To Hope That A Spark Of Artemis Remained. "why Don't We Look For Some Magic Stones That Can Grant Wishes? Or, If That Doesn't Work, You Could Search My Naked Body For Some Mysterious Birthmark That Means I Am Actually The Prince Of Somewhere Or Other.

It Was Calling Me, That Button," He Offered As His Excuse. "i Couldn't Resist." -mulch Diggums On A Highly Press-able Button-

But Even Though There Were Plenty Of Teeth In The Grin, There Was No Heart.

Im Riding A Troll! I Was Born To Do This,and Steal Stuff, And Eat Loads!

You Guys Looking For My Dad? People Are Always, Like, Looking For Him, And He's Never Around. Daddy Is So Not Here. And I Mean That Literally And Spiritually.

Waitress: "and To Drink?" Artemis: "spring Water. Irish, If You Have It. And No Ice, Please. As Your Ice Is No Doubt Made From Tap Water, Which Rather Defeats The Purpose Of Spring Water.

So, What Did You Get For Me?" Angeline Paused For A Beat. "jeans." "what?" Croaked Artemis. "and A T-shirt.

Now I Can Do The Bolts," She Slurred. "i've Been Trying To Focus Enough Magic All Week." The Magic Shifted And Swirled, Finally Etching A Picture In The Air. It Was A Rough Picture Of Foaly, And He Was Laughing. I Hate You, Centaur!" Screamed Opal, Lunging Toward, And Then Through, The Insubstantial Image. Her Eyes Rolled Back Into Her Head, And Then She Collapsed, Snoring, On The Floor. Artemis Straightened His Tie. Freud, He Was Certain, Would Have A Field Day With That.

We Lost The Crickets," She Said. "even You Can't Make That Sound Tough." ..."i Am Butler," He Said With A Straight-face. "everything I Say Sounds Tough. Now, Get Out Of The Lake, Fairy.

He Knew That Dr. Argon Would Advise Him Against Bottling Up His Emotions As It Would Lead To Psychological Scarring In The Long Term.

How Was Your... Eh... Trip?" Artemis Felt The Sting Of Tears In His Own Eyes. "um, Eventful.

Listen To Me, Goblin. You're Stupid, Let's Accept That And Move On.

Really, I'm Trying To Care, Artemis, Really. But I Thought It Was All Supposed To Be Over When The Fat Lady Sings. Well, She's Singing, But It Doesn't Appear To Be Over

Ignorance, As They Say, Is Usually Fatal, But Sometimes It Can Be Bliss.

Hilarious, Dude. You Should, Like, Have Your Own Show.

Chief Of Security : They Have A Tank! How Did They Get A Tank Up Here?

Just What We Need," Moaned Holly. "artemis Fowl With Magical Powers.

The Miracle Of Modern Science. The Lep Pours Millions Into Your Department, Foaly, And All You Can Do Is Send Mud Boys To The Toilet.

Ah, My Princess. Noble Steed. How Does The Morning Find You Both?

Artemis: How Long Will It Take You To Prepare The Time Spell? N1 Chewed His Knuckle: About As Long As It Takes You To Take Your Clothes Off. "aaarrk," Artemis Half Choked.

Very Well. I Understand. Just ... Shut Up!

I Am So Sick Of You Smart Kids. Why Can't You Just Boost Cars Or Steal Stuff Like Normal Kids?' 'we Do Steal Stuff. Just Bigger Stuff.

Holly Frowned At Her. "glad To See You've Forgiven Yourself So Quickly." "harboring Feelings Of Guilt Can Have A Negative Affect On Mental Health." "child Geniuses," Growled Holly. "genii," Said Minerva.

Sig Sauer. Nine Millimetres. Thirteen In The Magazine. Big Bullets. One Of These Hits You And It Could Blow Your Head Off; Something Even The Magic Can't Fix. Other Than That You Should Be All Right, Presuming You Remembered To Wear The Regulation Above-ground Micro-fibre Jumpsuit Recently Patented By Me. Then Again, Being A Recon Jock, You Probably Didn't.

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You Know You're In Trouble When Your Own Imagination Starts Punishing You.

Together We Will Be Unstoppable.

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Evolution Is A Theory With More Holes Than A Dutch Dam Of Swiss Cheese.

(about Dr. Po) Just Another Quack Spouting Psychobabble.

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Humm Humm Haaa. Rahmumm Humm Haaaa," Intoned Opal, Finishing Her Chant. "peace Be Inside Me, Tolerance All Around Me, Forgiveness In My Path. Now, Mervall, Show Me Where The Filthy Human Is So That I May Feed Him His Organs.

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We Get An Apartment Together, And After A Whirlwind Courtship You Marry My Sister And Honeymoon In Vegas.

'insanity... I Like It."

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It's Like Learning To Ride A Unicorn. You Never Forget.

I Have A Lovely Office At The Back Of My House; It's An Old Stable And You Can See Right Out To The Countryside On One Side And Into The House On The Other Side.

You Display Inordinate Pride For Someone Who Has Completed A Task Which Could Have Been Performed By A Lesser Primate In A Shorter Time.

Artemis Ducked. Cudgeon Didn't. Guess What? Artemis Was Smarter.

A Genius. A Criminal Mastermind. A Millionaire. And He Is Only Twelve Years Old.

Who Are You?" He Asked. I Am The Future Queen Of This World, At The Very Least. You May Refer To Me As Mistress Koboi For The Next Five Minutes. After That You May Refer To Me As Aaaaarrrrgh, Hold Your Throat, Die Screaming, And So On.

Look At Those Two. Wasting Time. You Wouldn't Catch Me Doing That.

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Are You Saying That You People Knew About These Amorophobots All The Time?" "of Course We Did. They Attacked Us In Iceland. Remember?" "no. I Was Unconscious.

He Threw His Head Back And Sang, "'i Am A Centaur, Yes, A Centaur Is What I Am.' It's Not Like You To Wax, Artemis" "foaly Is Singing," Said Holly. "surely That's Illegal?

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If You Were Me, Then I'd Be You, And If I Were You, Then I'd Hide Somewhere Far Away.

I Hear That You Were On A Date With Trouble Kelp. Are You Two Planning On Building A Bivouac Any Time Soon?

Now Before We Get Into Anything, Ladies, No Scratching, No Spitting And No Tattling To Mummy.

A Metaphorical Weight Lifted From His Allegorical Chest And Artemis Fowl Felt Himself Again.

Argh? Pathetic And Inarticulate. Nice Combination. Your Mothers Must Be So Proud.

A Cloak Of Invisibility? This Is A Highly Sensitive Piece Of Field Equipment. What Does He Think? Some Warlock Pulled It Out Of His Armpit?

The Only Other Scenario That Could Explain Everything, Up To And Including Your Own Bizarre Apperance, Is A Convoluted Conspiracy Theory Involving The Russian Mafia And A Crack Team Of Plastic Surgeons.

Yes. Because Every Family Needs A Laser For Thier Family Jet.

Will You Miss Him Holly?” He Asked Suddenly. [...] “no,” She Said. “i Will Not Miss Him.” But Her Eyes Told The Real Story.

Artemis Felt Like He Was Six Again And Caught Hacking The School Computers Trying To Make The Test Questions Harder

What's That Supposed To Mean? A Wolf's Head On A Stick. Big Wolf Barbecue Tonight? Bring Your Own Wolf?

That's The Last Order I'll Ever Give You Captain. Don't You Dare Ignore It.

I'm The Crazy Girly Captain, Remember?

"that Was Horrible. Horrible. That Poor Little Guy." Pex Was Unrepentant. "yeah, Well, He Asked For It. Calling Us... All Those Things." But Buried Alive?! That's Like In That Horror Movie. Y'know The One With All The Horror." "i Think I Saw That One. With All The Words Going Up On The Screen At The End?" "yeah, That Was It. Tell You The Truth, Those Words Kinda Ruined It For Me."

Dreams Come True All The Time, Just Not For The Dreamers

Artemis Turned And Stared At His Friend With The Blue Eyes. Holly Was Staring Back, And She Was Smiling. “i Remember,” She Said Aloud. “you Saved Me.” Artemis Smiled Back. “it Never Happened,” He Said.

I Do Like To Read In Bed, But Because I Have Two Kids I'm Often Forced To Read In The Bathroom.

Of Course. Opal Is Toying With Our Emotions For Her Own Gratification. Nothing More. She Wishes To Place Herself In A Position Of Power, Emotionally.

Position Of Power

Scientists Are The Enemies Of Tradition , And Tradition Own All The Prisons. - Victor Vigny

A Pity To Survive Night Flights Over St. Georges Channel Only To Crack My Skull Falling From A Ladder.

The Craft's Occupants Clutched Their Armrests, And More Than One Of Them Closed Their Eyes. But Not Artemis. He Couldn't. There Was Something Morbidly Fascinating About Flying Into An Uncharted Tunnel At A Reckless Speed With Only A Kleptomaniac Dwarf's Word For What Lay At The Other End.

He Took A Deep, Shuddering Breath. "okay. I Said It, It's Out There. And I Am Fine Now. So Let's Move On, Shall We? What's The Plan?

Is That How You're Going To Take Me? Scare Me Into Voluntarily Coming Aboard, Then Steal My Ice Cube?" "it's Always Cubes With You," Noted Foaly, Somewhat Randomly. "what's Wrong With A Nice Sphere?

Why Can't I Solve This Problem By Killing Someone? She Though Petulantly, Then Comforted Herself With The Mantra That Had Kept Her Going In Prison: "soon All The Humans Will Be Dead," She Said, Droning In The Time-honored Fashion Of Gurus Everywhere. "and Then Opal Will Be Loved." And Even If I'm Not Loved, She Thought, At Least All The Humans Will Be Dead.

Killing Someone

It Took Teams Of Lep Warlocks To Slow Down Time For A Few Hours; The Magic Required To Open A Door To The Tunnel Was Stupendous. It Would Be Easier To Shoot Down The Moon. Opal Tapped This Into Her Notepad. Reminder. Shoot Down The Moon? Viable?

Anything Can Be Real. Every Imaginable Thing Is Happening Somewhere Along The Dimensional Axis. These Things Happen A Billion Times Over With Exactly The Same Outcome And No One Learns Anything. Whatever A Person Can Think, Imagine, Wish For, Or Believe Has Already Come To Pass. Dreams Come True All The Time, Just Not For The Dreamers.

It'll Be Messy, But After A Day You'll Be Zipping Around As Though You Were A Thousand Years Old Again.

No Alcohol, Riley." She Nodded At The Screen. "how Are You Liking The Twenty-first Century?" Riley Burped. "the Take That Are Most Melodic. And God Bless Harry Potter Is All I Can Say. If Not For Him, All Of London Would Have Been Consumed By The Dark Arts.

Oh, I'm Crazy All Right. I Do Have Plenty Of Psychoses. Multiple Personality, Delusional Dementia, Ocd. I've Got Them All, But Most Of All, I'm Crazy About You.

And I Will Not Be Beaten By That Jackass." "jackass?" Said Foaly, Wounded. "my Favorite Uncle Is A Jackass.

I'm Lep. A Captain. No Rent-a-cop Gnome Is Going To Stand In The Way Of My Orders.

Excuse Me, Captain. Are You Two Going To Weep Salty Tears Of Admiration Over A Helmet All Night, Or Do We Have Matters To Discuss?

Careful, Mr. Spiro, Guns Are Dangerous. Especially The End With The Hole.

This Was A Nightmare Scenario For Any Bodyguard: Stuck In The Middle Of A Transparent Tube, Several Miles Underwater, With A Murdering Band Of Fugitives At One End And An Enthralled But Still Highly Skilled Police Officer At The Other.

Miss Me? Bet You Did ... So Would I.

A Cd. How Quaint. We Have These In Museums.

I Waved My Hand In Front Of My Face, Obi-wan Style. "i Am Not Here." Niall's Mucas Glands Kicked Into Overdrive. "eoin's Dead! And His Ghost Is Standing Right There On The Grass!" Donal Let Out A Long Suffering Sigh. "eoin Is Being A Writer." Niall Calmed Down, Becuase Everyone Knows Writers Are Weird And Are Always Doing Stupid Thingss.

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The Two Of Them Went Down In A Heap, With Not Even A Turkey To Break Their Fall.

I Am Unarmed. But Butler Here, My ...ah...butler, Has A Sig Saucer In His Shoulder Holster, Two Shrike-throwing Knives In His Boots, Aderringer Two-shot Up His Sleeve, Garrotte Wire In His Watch, And Three Stun Greanades Concealed In Variouse Pockets. Anything Else, Butler?

(about His Terrible Attempt At Making A Sandwich) It's More Difficult Than It Looks. (artemis Fowl)

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The Name's Bond. James Omar Bond.

Anything Else, Butler?" "the Cosh, Sir.

She Forces Me To Endure This Ridiculous Therapy, When The So-called Counselors Are Little Better Than Misguided Do-gooders With Degrees. -artemis Fowl

Don't Hate Me Forever, Arty," Whispered Holly. "i Couldn't Bear That.

Oh,it's Going To Be So Easy To Kill You",scoffed Opal.

Stay Back, Human. You Don't Know What You're Dealing With.

Doobie Always Wanted To See The Badge. It Was Shiny, And He Was Eight.

Inside The Mirrored Elevator, Mulch Used A Telescopic Pointer To Push P For The Penthouse. For The First Few Months He Had Jumped To Reach The Button, But That Was Undignified Behavior For A Millionaire. And Besides, He Was Certain That Art Could Hear The Thumping From The Security Desk.

Don't Try To Understand Me, Just Be Grateful That You Felt The Warmth Of Zaphod Beeblebrox's Aura On Your Wonderstruck Face.

If Elmore Leonard Met Jim Thompson Down A Dark Alley At Midnight They Might Emerge A Week Later With Thick Beards, Bloodshot Eyes And The Manuscript For The Big O.

Why Can't We For Once Have A Meeting In Starbucks?

Can We Please Focus? We Are Supposed To Be Professionals." Holly Said. "not Me!" Said Orion Cheerily, "i'm Just A Teenager With Hormones Running Wild And May I Say, Young Fairy Lady, They're Running Wild In Your Direction.

Look!" Said Foaly, Pointing With Some Urgency Into The Vast Steel-gray Gloom, "someone Who Cares!

Don’t Feel Bad; I Regularly Reduce People To Unintelligible Stammers.

Everything Rests On The Poisoned Wine. If It Were Just The Queen, I Could Force It Down Her Gullet, But Declan Broekhart Would Run Me Through With That Damned Ceremonial Sword, And If His Wife's Stares Were Daggers, He'd Be Dead Already.

Hit That Back-stabber Where It Hurts, Right In The Ambition.

The Sarcasm Made A Slight Whistling Noise As It Flew Over Loafers' Head.

A Fifeteen-year Old, Of To Save The World, With Faries. - Angeline Fowl

And It's Amazing How Much Noise People Ignoring Each Other Can Make.

They Have Gone. And The Tunnel Is About To Close. So, Boys, I Am Looking For Someone To Blame.

Butler Could Kill You A Hundred Different Ways Without Use Of His Armoury. Though I'm Sure One Would Be Quite Sufficient.

The Thing About Reading Is That If You Are Hooked, You're Not Going To Stop Just Because One Series Is Over; You're Going To Go And Find Something Else.

The Humans Were Protecting Their Heritage, Or So They Thought. Strange That Mud Men Seem More Concerned About The Past Than The Present.

Let's Save Some Time Here. I Grow Weary Of Your Clumsy Bluffs. In The Case Of An Abduction, The Lep Will Send A Crack Retrieval Team To Get Back What Has Been Lost.. You Have Done So. Excuse Me While I Titter. Crack Team? Honestly. A Cub-scout Patrol Armed With Water Pistols Could Have Defeated Them.

When The Moment Comes, Will You Take Your Chance To Be A Hero?

Control Puberty?" Snorted The Bodyguard."if You Manage That, You'll Be The First.

I Have No Time For Babbling Foolishness.” “don’t Be So Hasty,” Said Victor. “there’s Always Time For Babbling.

If You're Going To Read Five Books, Three Should Be Issues And Two For Fun.

Artemis: "right, Brothers. Onward. Imagine Yourself Seated At A Cafe In Montmartre." Myles: "in Paris." Artemis: "yes, Paris. And Try As You Will, You Cannot Attract The Waiter's Attention. What Do You Do?" Beckett: "umm...tell Butler To Jump-jump-jump On His Head?" Myles: "i Agree With Simple-toon." Artemis: "no! You Simply Raise One Finger And Say Clearly 'ici, Garcon.'" Beckett: "itchy What?

My Bugs Don't Have Bugs.

Connor Broekhart Was Born To Fly, Or More Accurately He Was Born Flying.

Artemis Fowl Grinned Right Back At Him And Pointed His Index Finger To The Sky... From The Tip Of This Finger Sprang A Small Blue Spark That Exploded Like A Tiny Firework. “i Know Magic Can Be Stolen,” Said Artemis. “because I Stole Some Myself.

Holly Died Without A Friend To Hold Her Hand. Artemis Felt Her Go, Another Gift Of The Magic. He Kept On Counting, Brushing Away The Tears On His Cheeks.

Holly Is Alive,' Thought Foaly 'my Princess Lives,'exulted Orion. 'and We're Chasing A Dragon

I Wear A Name Tag To Help People Find Me. It Saves Time When You're Dealing With Idiots.

(to Foaly) Captain Short's Life Is In Danger, So Push The Button Before I Climb That Tower And Push It With Your Face!

Foaly Twitched His Tail Contentedly. Genius. No Point In Being Humble About It.

I'm Right There With You, Darlin'. Unless You Step On A Landmine, In Which Case I'm Way Back In The Operations Room.

Mulch Was Not Impressed. 'i'm Not Impressed,' He Said.

Humans Have A Saying That "beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder", Which Basically Means That If You Think It's Beautiful, Then It Is Beautiful. The Elfin Version Of This Saying Was Composed By The Great Poet B.o Selecta, Who Said "even The Plainest Of The Plain Shall Deign To Reign", Which Critics Have Always Thought Was A Bit Rhymey. The Dwarf Version Of This Maxim Is "if It Don't Stink, Marry It", Which Is Slightly Less Romantic, But The General Gist Is The Same.

You Wouldn't Know A Clue If It Danced In Front Of You With A T-shirt That Read 'i'm A Clue

Artemis: I Am Not Buoyed By That. Foaly: You Are Not Supposed To Be Buoyed By That. You Are Supposed To Be Equalized. Mulch: I'm Pretty Sure That Both Of You Just Made Really Horrible Jokes. But I'm Not Sure Because I Think You Broke My Funny Bone.

She Can't Afford To Commit More Troops,' Holly Whispered. 'the Gate Is Her Priority, And She Needs To Have As Many Berserkers Watching Her Back As Possible. We Are Secondary At This Point.' 'that Will Be Her Undoing,' Artemis Gasped, Already Suffering Under The Weight Of The Flak Jacket. 'artemis Fowl Will Never Be Secondary.' 'i Thought You Were Artemis Fowl The Second?' Said Holly.

Too Much Damned Tv. Thinks He's Sherlock Holmes." "that's Professor Moriarty," Corrected Foaly. "holmes, Moriarty, They Both Look The Same With The Flesh Scorched Off Their Skulls.

How Does She Know It's The Right Room?' Wondered Descant. Oh, I Don't Know; Mabye It's The Magical Red Glow Coming From The Doorway, Or Perhaps It's The Deafening Howl Of The Temporal Winds.' Said Mervall. Descant Nodded.'you Could Be Right, Brother. And Don't Think I Don't Know Sarcasm When I Hear It.

Orion Sniffed. "good. Then, Worthy Centaur, Perhaps You Could Give Me A Ride To The Village On Your Way Back. Then I Can Make A Few Pennies Wth My Verses While You Build Us A Shack And Perform Circus Tricks For Passersby." This Was Such A Surprising Statement That Foaly Briefly Considered Jumping Into The Hole To Get Away.

No Matter What Dimension You're In, There's A Big-headed Male Trying To Take Over The World.

Good. Illegal Is Always Faster.

Either That Boy Is The Sanest Creature On Earth, He Thought, Or He Is So Disturbed That Our Tests Cannot Even Begin To Scratch The Surface.

Remember This? You Gave It To Me For Ensuring Your Trigger Finger Got Reattached To Your Hand. You Said It Would Remind Me Of That Spark Of Decency Inside Me. I'm Trying To Do Something Decent Now, Captain.

Yes, Chix, It's Between Us. Everyone Has A Right To Be Temporarily Unstable. - Foaly

No, I Don't Think You Understand Just How Stupid Goblins Are. Let Me Give You An Example. One Of The B'wa Kell Generals, And This Is Their Top Fairy, Was Caught Caught Trying To Pass Off Forged Credit Slips By Signing His Own Name.

Her Glare Was So Intense That You Completely Forgot She Was Wearing Pink.

I'm Not Threatening You. I'm Just Informing You Of Police Procedure. If You Continue To Obstruct Me, I Remove The Obstruction, In This Case You, And Proceed To The Next Command.

Let Us Proceed Under The Assumption That The Fairy Folk Do Exist, And That I Am Not A Gibbering Moron.

A Monkey Glances Up And Sees A Banana, And That's As Far As He Looks. A Visionary Looks Up And Sees The Moon.

Hey, Look Your Girlfriend Is Saying Something. Artemis Had A Vast Mental Reserve Of Scathing Comebacks At His Disposal, But None Of Them Covered Girlfriend Insults. He Wasn't Even Sure If It Was An Insult. And If It Was, Who Was Being Insulted? Him Or The Girl?

...hardly. A Ragged Apron Does Not A Waiter Make.

Who Or What Inspires You?" "i Must Admit That I Often Read My Own Articles In Scientific Journals And Inspire Myself.

No, Mademoiselle, I Would Not Like To See The Children's Menu. I Have No Doubt That The Children's Menu Itself Tastes Better Than The Meals On It. I Would Like To Order à La Carte. Or Don't You Serve Fish To Minors?

Butler Was Seeing The World As It Was, Complete With L.e.p Retrival Team

Butler,” He Called, His Voice Thin And Childlike In The Wind. “yes, Artemis, What?” “if Something Goes Wrong, Wait For Me. No Matter How It Looks, I Will Return. I Will Bring Them All Back.

Trust Me. I'm A Genius.

Friendship Isn't A Science Mudboy. Just Do What You Think Is Right.

Meg And Belch Only Had Eyes For Each Other. Not In The Usual Romantic Sense.

Gold Is Power-artemis Fowl I Liked The Artemis Fowl Series Because Its About A Boy Genius

Orion Nodded, Then Asked, “dwarf Cheese?” “cheese Made By Dwarfs.” “oh,” Said Orion, Relieved. “they Make It. It’s Not Actually . . .” “no. What A Horrible Thought.” “exactly.

...to Be Injured On This Tundra Would Lead To A Quick And Painful Death—or At The Very Least Abject Humiliation Before The Popping Flashes Of The Tourist Season's Tail End, Which Was Slightly Less Painful Than A Painful Death, But Lasted Longer.

Benny Was Awake Again. Happened Every Morning.

Hey, If You Can't Remember, Don't Worry About It. I'm Having A Few Memory Problems Myself In This Place. Little Things Like How Long I've Been Here, What My Purpose In Life Is, Which Feet To Put My Shoes On. Stuff Like That.

We Lost The Crickets.

And One More Thing. About My Name — Artemis — You Were Right. In London, It Is Generally A Female Name, After The Greek Goddess Of Archery. But Every Now And Then A Male Comes Along With Such A Talent For Hunting That He Earns The Right To Use The Name. I Am That Male. Artemis The Hunter. I Hunted You.

Shut Up, Julius! I Mean, Quiet A Moment, Commander.

How Did That Go?’ He Asked. ‘your First Lengthy Conversation With A Girl Your Own Age?’ ‘fabulous,’ Said Artemis, Voice Dripping With Sarcasm. ‘we’re Planning A June Wedding.

Caballine Likes Me To Be Masterful. She Calls Me Her Stallion.

Victor Vigny: It Is Like The Old Fairy Tale. The Boy Saves The Princess; They Fall In Love. He Invents A Flying Machine - Along With His Dashing Teacher, Of Course. They Get Married And Name Thier Firstborn After The Aforementioned Dashing Teacher. Conor: I Don't Recall That Fairy Tale From The Nursery. Victor Vigny: Trust Me, It's A Classic.

Falling In Love

Maybe I’ll Keep You.” Abbot Chuckled And Prodded Artemis’s Back With His Sword. “it’d Be Nice To Have A Pet Human Around. I Could Teach You Tricks.” “i Have A Trick For You,” Said Artemis, And He Fired A Single Blast From The Gun.

I Am Not Exuding Anything," Said Holly Through Gritted Teeth. Orion Tapped Her Shoulder. "i Beg To Differ. You're Exuding Right Now, A Wonderful Aura. It's Pastel Blue With Little Dolphins.

If Things Go Badly For Me Tonight, I Want You To Stay With Mr. Wynter; He Will Pay You A Decent Wage.” “will He Make Me Bathe?” “no, He Will Debate The Matter With You Until You Decide To Wash.” “ah. One Of Those.

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