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You Need To Stop Thinking With Your Head, Mud Boy, And Start Thinking With Your Heart.” Artemis Sighed. The Heart Was An Organ For Pumping Oxygen-rich Blood To The Cells. It Could No More Think Than An Apple Could Tap-dance.

-Eoin Colfer

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You Need To Stop

Eoin Colfer

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You Need To Stop Thinking With Your Head, Mud Boy, And Start Thinking With Your Heart.” Artemis Sighed. The Heart Was An Organ For Pumping Oxygen-rich Blood To The Cells. It Could No More Think Than An Apple Could Tap-dance.

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Well, I Don't Like The First Bit And I Don't Know The Last Bit. So I'm Really Hoping The Middle Bit Is Exceptional.

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A Fifeteen-year Old, Of To Save The World, With Faries. - Angeline Fowl

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I Feel Like Alice Falling Into Wonderland. A Line Came To Him: It Would Be So Nice If Something Made Sense For A Change.

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What Many People Don't Know About 'peter Pan' Is That It's A Very Violent Book And Hook Is One Of The Most Finely Observed Villains Ever.

You Wouldn't Know A Clue If It Danced In Front Of You With A T-shirt That Read 'i'm A Clue

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Knock Yourself Out... Or Rather, Don't.

Grab Some Caviar From The Kitchen. You Wouldn't Believe The Muck They Feed Us In Bartleby's For Ten Thousand A Term.

Ignorance, As They Say, Is Usually Fatal, But Sometimes It Can Be Bliss.

Don't Hate Me Forever, Arty," Whispered Holly. "i Couldn't Bear That.

I Wear A Name Tag To Help People Find Me. It Saves Time When You're Dealing With Idiots.

Other Men Look Up And Down, Left And Right; But Men Like Us Are Different. We Are Visionaries.

Of Course. Opal Is Toying With Our Emotions For Her Own Gratification. Nothing More. She Wishes To Place Herself In A Position Of Power, Emotionally.

Position Of Power

Maybe I’ll Keep You.” Abbot Chuckled And Prodded Artemis’s Back With His Sword. “it’d Be Nice To Have A Pet Human Around. I Could Teach You Tricks.” “i Have A Trick For You,” Said Artemis, And He Fired A Single Blast From The Gun.

Argh? Pathetic And Inarticulate. Nice Combination. Your Mothers Must Be So Proud.

I'm Lep. A Captain. No Rent-a-cop Gnome Is Going To Stand In The Way Of My Orders.

Good. Illegal Is Always Faster.

Boo-hoo. Help Me, I'm A Girl. What Kind Of Modern Woman Are You? A Smart One.

Satan Was Crouched In The Corner Of His Office, Playing A Gameboy, 'die Alien Scum' He Was Saying Feverishly.

A Cloak Of Invisibility? This Is A Highly Sensitive Piece Of Field Equipment. What Does He Think? Some Warlock Pulled It Out Of His Armpit?

A Metaphorical Weight Lifted From His Allegorical Chest And Artemis Fowl Felt Himself Again.

Hilarious, Dude. You Should, Like, Have Your Own Show.

What's That Supposed To Mean? A Wolf's Head On A Stick. Big Wolf Barbecue Tonight? Bring Your Own Wolf?

Evolution Is A Theory With More Holes Than A Dutch Dam Of Swiss Cheese.

Don’t Feel Bad; I Regularly Reduce People To Unintelligible Stammers.

It's Like Learning To Ride A Unicorn. You Never Forget.

Thankfully The Rest Of The World Assumed That The Irish Were Crazy, A Theory That The Irish Themselves Did Nothing To Debunk. They Had Somehow Got It Into Their Heads That Each Fairy Lugged Around A Pot Of Gold With Him Wherever He Went. While It Was True That Lep Had A Ransom Fund, Because Of Its Officers' High-risk Occupation, No Human Had Ever Taken A Chunk Of It Yet. This Didn't Stop The Irish Population In General From Skulking Around Rainbows, Hoping To Win The Supernatural Lottery.

Doobie Always Wanted To See The Badge. It Was Shiny, And He Was Eight.

He Threw His Head Back And Sang, "'i Am A Centaur, Yes, A Centaur Is What I Am.' It's Not Like You To Wax, Artemis" "foaly Is Singing," Said Holly. "surely That's Illegal?

Is That How You're Going To Take Me? Scare Me Into Voluntarily Coming Aboard, Then Steal My Ice Cube?" "it's Always Cubes With You," Noted Foaly, Somewhat Randomly. "what's Wrong With A Nice Sphere?

Yes. Because Every Family Needs A Laser For Thier Family Jet.

(text Message) Cmdr Root. Trble Below. Havn Ovrrn By Goblins. Plce Plaza Srrounded. Cudgeon + Opl Kboi Bhnd Plot. No Wpons Or Cmmunications. Dna Cnons Cntrlled By Kboi. I M Trpped In Op Bth. Cncl Thnks Im 2 Blm. If Alive Plse Hlp. If Not, Wrng Nmbr.

Confidence Is Ignorance. If You're Feeling Cocky, It's Because There's Something You Don't Know.

Miss Me? Bet You Did ... So Would I.

Yes, Chix, It's Between Us. Everyone Has A Right To Be Temporarily Unstable. - Foaly

I Do Like To Read In Bed, But Because I Have Two Kids I'm Often Forced To Read In The Bathroom.

Dreams Come True All The Time, Just Not For The Dreamers

A Cd. How Quaint. We Have These In Museums.

Wait," Said Butler. "just Wait, Holly. Artemis Has A Plan." He Squinted Through The Green Dome. "what Is Your Plan, Artemis?" All Artemis Could Do Was Smile And Shrug.

If Elmore Leonard Met Jim Thompson Down A Dark Alley At Midnight They Might Emerge A Week Later With Thick Beards, Bloodshot Eyes And The Manuscript For The Big O.

Either That Boy Is The Sanest Creature On Earth, He Thought, Or He Is So Disturbed That Our Tests Cannot Even Begin To Scratch The Surface.

I Have To Tell You, Arty, A Screw Up This Early In The Proceedings Doesn't Exactly Fill Me With Confidence. I Hope You're As Clever As You Keep Telling Everyone You Are." "i Never Tell Anybody Exactly How Clever I Am. They Would Be Too Scared.

Mulch Was Not Impressed. 'i'm Not Impressed,' He Said.

We Lost The Crickets.

I Have A Lovely Office At The Back Of My House; It's An Old Stable And You Can See Right Out To The Countryside On One Side And Into The House On The Other Side.

I Am Butler. Anything I Say Sounds Scary.

The Thing About Reading Is That If You Are Hooked, You're Not Going To Stop Just Because One Series Is Over; You're Going To Go And Find Something Else.

We're Being Lead By An Idiot With A Crayon.

Scientists Are The Enemies Of Tradition , And Tradition Own All The Prisons. - Victor Vigny

...to Be Injured On This Tundra Would Lead To A Quick And Painful Death—or At The Very Least Abject Humiliation Before The Popping Flashes Of The Tourist Season's Tail End, Which Was Slightly Less Painful Than A Painful Death, But Lasted Longer.

Artemis: "right, Brothers. Onward. Imagine Yourself Seated At A Cafe In Montmartre." Myles: "in Paris." Artemis: "yes, Paris. And Try As You Will, You Cannot Attract The Waiter's Attention. What Do You Do?" Beckett: "umm...tell Butler To Jump-jump-jump On His Head?" Myles: "i Agree With Simple-toon." Artemis: "no! You Simply Raise One Finger And Say Clearly 'ici, Garcon.'" Beckett: "itchy What?

The Only Other Scenario That Could Explain Everything, Up To And Including Your Own Bizarre Apperance, Is A Convoluted Conspiracy Theory Involving The Russian Mafia And A Crack Team Of Plastic Surgeons.

Hit That Back-stabber Where It Hurts, Right In The Ambition.

Holly Clambered After Him, Struggling Up The Human-size Steps. "wait! Just Wait," She Called, Overtaking Artemis And Looking Him In The Eye From One Step Up. "i Know You, Artemis. You Like To Play Your Genius Card Close To Your Chest Until The Big Reveal. And That's Worked Out For Us So Far. But This Time You Need To Let Me In. I Can Help. So, Tell Me The Truth, Do You Have A Plan?" Artemis Met His Friend's Gaze And Lied To Her Face. "no," He Said. "no Plan.

We Get An Apartment Together, And After A Whirlwind Courtship You Marry My Sister And Honeymoon In Vegas.

Caballine Likes Me To Be Masterful. She Calls Me Her Stallion.

You Know, Miss Holly, You Look Very Dramatic Like That, Backlit By The Fire. Very Attractive, If I May Say So. I Know You Shared A Moment Passionne With Artemis Which He Subsequently Fouled Up With His Typical Boorish Behavior. Let Me Just Throw Something Out There For You To Consider While We're Chasing The Probe: I Share Artemis's Passion But Not His Boorishness. No Pressure; Just Think About It. This Was Enough To Elicit A Deafening Moment Of Silence Even In The Middle Of A Crisis, Which Orion Seemed To Be Blissfully Unaffected By.

No, Mademoiselle, I Would Not Like To See The Children's Menu. I Have No Doubt That The Children's Menu Itself Tastes Better Than The Meals On It. I Would Like To Order à La Carte. Or Don't You Serve Fish To Minors?

Artemis: How Long Will It Take You To Prepare The Time Spell? N1 Chewed His Knuckle: About As Long As It Takes You To Take Your Clothes Off. "aaarrk," Artemis Half Choked.

'insanity... I Like It."

In Spite Of What Youngsters Think, Parents Do Not Get A Sneaky Thrill Out Of Punishing Their Children.

No Alcohol, Riley." She Nodded At The Screen. "how Are You Liking The Twenty-first Century?" Riley Burped. "the Take That Are Most Melodic. And God Bless Harry Potter Is All I Can Say. If Not For Him, All Of London Would Have Been Consumed By The Dark Arts.

Oh, I'm Crazy All Right. I Do Have Plenty Of Psychoses. Multiple Personality, Delusional Dementia, Ocd. I've Got Them All, But Most Of All, I'm Crazy About You.

If You Were Me, Then I'd Be You, And If I Were You, Then I'd Hide Somewhere Far Away.

Careful, Mr. Spiro, Guns Are Dangerous. Especially The End With The Hole.

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