Background Image

...

Holly, Do You Trust Me?” Holly Groaned. “artemis, Don’t Ask Me That. I Just Know One Of Your Outrageous Plans Is Coming.” “do You Trust Me?” “yes,” Holly Sighed. “i Do. More Than Anyone.

-Eoin Colfer

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

Holly, Do You Trust

Eoin Colfer

...

Holly, Do You Trust Me?” Holly Groaned. “artemis, Don’t Ask Me That. I Just Know One Of Your Outrageous Plans Is Coming.” “do You Trust Me?” “yes,” Holly Sighed. “i Do. More Than Anyone.

Views: 7

Topic

More From Eoin Colfer

He Threw His Head Back And Sang, "'i Am A Centaur, Yes, A Centaur Is What I Am.' It's Not Like You To Wax, Artemis" "foaly Is Singing," Said Holly. "surely That's Illegal?

If Koboi Defeats And Presumably Murders Us Both Then You Can Consider The Debt Null And Void.

Hey, If You Can't Remember, Don't Worry About It. I'm Having A Few Memory Problems Myself In This Place. Little Things Like How Long I've Been Here, What My Purpose In Life Is, Which Feet To Put My Shoes On. Stuff Like That.

Benny Was Awake Again. Happened Every Morning.

There’s Always Time For Babbling.

Miss Me? Bet You Did ... So Would I.

Trust Me. I'm A Genius.

We're Being Lead By An Idiot With A Crayon.

My Truffles? You Took Them? That's Just Mean!

Don't Hate Me Forever, Arty," Whispered Holly. "i Couldn't Bear That.

Listen To Me, Goblin. You're Stupid, Let's Accept That And Move On.

In Spite Of What Youngsters Think, Parents Do Not Get A Sneaky Thrill Out Of Punishing Their Children.

Red Was Smiling Back At Me. "ok. I'm Not In Trouble. But Tell Me Your Heart Didn't Start Beating For The First Time In A Month." I Couldn't Deny It. So I Didn't.

Being In Command Means Making Tough Decisions. Not Being In Command Means Shutting Up And Doing What You're Told. --artemis Fowl

I Never Tell Anyone Exactly How Clever I Am. They Would Be Too Scared.

That’s What I Thought. When I Looked That Human In The Face. I Figured He Was Either A Genius Or Crazy.” Artemis’s Cool Eyes Glared At Them From The Screen. “so Which Is It?” Asked Foaly. “a Genius Or Crazy?” Root Grabbed His Tri-barreled Blaster From The Gun Rack. “what’s The Difference?

Orion Nodded, Then Asked, “dwarf Cheese?” “cheese Made By Dwarfs.” “oh,” Said Orion, Relieved. “they Make It. It’s Not Actually . . .” “no. What A Horrible Thought.” “exactly.

So If You're Not Artemis Fowl, Then Who Are You?" The Boy Extended A Dripping Hand Straight Up. "my Name Is Orion. I Am So Pleased To Meet You At Last. I Am, Of Course, Your Servant." Holly Shook The Proferred Hand, Thinking That Manners Were Lovely, But She Really Needed Someone Cunning And Ruthless Right Now, And This Kid Didn't Appear To Be Very Cunning.

A Genius. A Criminal Mastermind. A Millionaire. And He Is Only Twelve Years Old.

Everything Rests On The Poisoned Wine. If It Were Just The Queen, I Could Force It Down Her Gullet, But Declan Broekhart Would Run Me Through With That Damned Ceremonial Sword, And If His Wife's Stares Were Daggers, He'd Be Dead Already.

Humans Have A Saying That "beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder", Which Basically Means That If You Think It's Beautiful, Then It Is Beautiful. The Elfin Version Of This Saying Was Composed By The Great Poet B.o Selecta, Who Said "even The Plainest Of The Plain Shall Deign To Reign", Which Critics Have Always Thought Was A Bit Rhymey. The Dwarf Version Of This Maxim Is "if It Don't Stink, Marry It", Which Is Slightly Less Romantic, But The General Gist Is The Same.

Can We Please Focus? We Are Supposed To Be Professionals." Holly Said. "not Me!" Said Orion Cheerily, "i'm Just A Teenager With Hormones Running Wild And May I Say, Young Fairy Lady, They're Running Wild In Your Direction.

Oh,it's Going To Be So Easy To Kill You",scoffed Opal.

The Problem Is That I Know The Textbook Answers To Any Question You Care To Ask.

A Monkey Glances Up And Sees A Banana, And That's As Far As He Looks. A Visionary Looks Up And Sees The Moon.

Inside The Mirrored Elevator, Mulch Used A Telescopic Pointer To Push P For The Penthouse. For The First Few Months He Had Jumped To Reach The Button, But That Was Undignified Behavior For A Millionaire. And Besides, He Was Certain That Art Could Hear The Thumping From The Security Desk.

If Things Go Badly For Me Tonight, I Want You To Stay With Mr. Wynter; He Will Pay You A Decent Wage.” “will He Make Me Bathe?” “no, He Will Debate The Matter With You Until You Decide To Wash.” “ah. One Of Those.

So, What Did You Get For Me?" Angeline Paused For A Beat. "jeans." "what?" Croaked Artemis. "and A T-shirt.

Commander: What's That? Foaly: It's A Finger, What Does Look Like?

People Like Me, Lb, The Truly Great Ones ... We Are Always Alone.

In My Experience, Boys Are Predictable. As Soon As They Think Of Something, They Do It. Girls Are Smarter—they Plan Ahead. They Think About Not Getting Caught.

...i Just Pulled A Pretty Big Job And Needed To Hide Out For Awhile." "...where's All The Loot?" "that, As My Cousin Nord Would Say, Is Where My Improvised Lie Falls Apart." Artemis Put Two And Two Together And Arrived At A Very Unpleasant Four. "you Were Here To Rob Me!" "no, I Wasn't. How Dare You?!

The Name's Bond. James Omar Bond.

Holly Clambered After Him, Struggling Up The Human-size Steps. "wait! Just Wait," She Called, Overtaking Artemis And Looking Him In The Eye From One Step Up. "i Know You, Artemis. You Like To Play Your Genius Card Close To Your Chest Until The Big Reveal. And That's Worked Out For Us So Far. But This Time You Need To Let Me In. I Can Help. So, Tell Me The Truth, Do You Have A Plan?" Artemis Met His Friend's Gaze And Lied To Her Face. "no," He Said. "no Plan.

Sig Sauer. Nine Millimetres. Thirteen In The Magazine. Big Bullets. One Of These Hits You And It Could Blow Your Head Off; Something Even The Magic Can't Fix. Other Than That You Should Be All Right, Presuming You Remembered To Wear The Regulation Above-ground Micro-fibre Jumpsuit Recently Patented By Me. Then Again, Being A Recon Jock, You Probably Didn't.

I'm Right There With You, Darlin'. Unless You Step On A Landmine, In Which Case I'm Way Back In The Operations Room.

Other Men Look Up And Down, Left And Right; But Men Like Us Are Different. We Are Visionaries.

I Wear A Name Tag To Help People Find Me. It Saves Time When You're Dealing With Idiots.

When I Went To School, I Was Already Reading And Writing. In Fact, I Was Offended That The Other Kids Couldn't.

Of Course. Opal Is Toying With Our Emotions For Her Own Gratification. Nothing More. She Wishes To Place Herself In A Position Of Power, Emotionally.

Position Of Power

Boo-hoo. Help Me, I'm A Girl. What Kind Of Modern Woman Are You? A Smart One.

I Can Grow Cameras!" She Had Shrieked At The Brill Brothers During One Briefing. "who's To Say That Despicable Centaur Foaly Hasn't Succeded In Splicing Surveillance Equiptment To Plants? So Get Rid Of All The Flowers. Rocks, Too. I Don't Trust Them. Sullen Little Blebers.

(text Message) Cmdr Root. Trble Below. Havn Ovrrn By Goblins. Plce Plaza Srrounded. Cudgeon + Opl Kboi Bhnd Plot. No Wpons Or Cmmunications. Dna Cnons Cntrlled By Kboi. I M Trpped In Op Bth. Cncl Thnks Im 2 Blm. If Alive Plse Hlp. If Not, Wrng Nmbr.

Mulch Was Not Impressed. 'i'm Not Impressed,' He Said.

I Waved My Hand In Front Of My Face, Obi-wan Style. "i Am Not Here." Niall's Mucas Glands Kicked Into Overdrive. "eoin's Dead! And His Ghost Is Standing Right There On The Grass!" Donal Let Out A Long Suffering Sigh. "eoin Is Being A Writer." Niall Calmed Down, Becuase Everyone Knows Writers Are Weird And Are Always Doing Stupid Thingss.

Anything Else, Butler?" "the Cosh, Sir.

Artemis Fowl Will Never Be Secondary." "i Thought You Were Artemis Fowl The Second?" Said Holly.

Of Course I Saved You," She Said. "i Couldn't Do Without You." And Because She Was Happy And Flushed With Magic Holly Leaned Down And Kissed Artemis, Magic Sparking Around The Contact Like Tiny Fireworks.

How Does She Know It's The Right Room?' Wondered Descant. Oh, I Don't Know; Mabye It's The Magical Red Glow Coming From The Doorway, Or Perhaps It's The Deafening Howl Of The Temporal Winds.' Said Mervall. Descant Nodded.'you Could Be Right, Brother. And Don't Think I Don't Know Sarcasm When I Hear It.

I Feel Like Alice Falling Into Wonderland. A Line Came To Him: It Would Be So Nice If Something Made Sense For A Change.

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This Is A Sensitive Area. For All You Know I Could Be Suffering From Depression. Doctor Po: I Suppose You Could. Is That The Case? Artemis: (head In Hands) It's My Mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My Mother, She... Doctor Po: Your Mother, Yes? Artemis: She Forces Me To Endure This Ridiculous Therapy When The School's So-called Counsellors Are Little Better Than Misguided Do-gooders With Degrees.

If Elmore Leonard Met Jim Thompson Down A Dark Alley At Midnight They Might Emerge A Week Later With Thick Beards, Bloodshot Eyes And The Manuscript For The Big O.

Evolution Is A Theory With More Holes Than A Dutch Dam Of Swiss Cheese.

I'm Not Threatening You. I'm Just Informing You Of Police Procedure. If You Continue To Obstruct Me, I Remove The Obstruction, In This Case You, And Proceed To The Next Command.

A Cloak Of Invisibility? This Is A Highly Sensitive Piece Of Field Equipment. What Does He Think? Some Warlock Pulled It Out Of His Armpit?

Why Can't I Solve This Problem By Killing Someone? She Though Petulantly, Then Comforted Herself With The Mantra That Had Kept Her Going In Prison: "soon All The Humans Will Be Dead," She Said, Droning In The Time-honored Fashion Of Gurus Everywhere. "and Then Opal Will Be Loved." And Even If I'm Not Loved, She Thought, At Least All The Humans Will Be Dead.

Killing Someone

Anything Can Be Real. Every Imaginable Thing Is Happening Somewhere Along The Dimensional Axis. These Things Happen A Billion Times Over With Exactly The Same Outcome And No One Learns Anything. Whatever A Person Can Think, Imagine, Wish For, Or Believe Has Already Come To Pass. Dreams Come True All The Time, Just Not For The Dreamers.

The Next Minute Or So Was Spent Howling On The Ceiling . Imp No.1 Joined In, But He Wasn't Really Feeling It. It Shouldn't Be "who Do We Hate?", He Thought, It Really Should Be "whom", But This Probably Wasn't A Good Time To Bring That Up.

People Are Afraid Of You, Arty. Girls Are Terrified Of You. You’re A Fifteen-year-old In A Bespoke Suit, And Nobody Died.

What Many People Don't Know About 'peter Pan' Is That It's A Very Violent Book And Hook Is One Of The Most Finely Observed Villains Ever.

Remember This? You Gave It To Me For Ensuring Your Trigger Finger Got Reattached To Your Hand. You Said It Would Remind Me Of That Spark Of Decency Inside Me. I'm Trying To Do Something Decent Now, Captain.

When You've Come Face-to-face With The Dark Side Of The School Yard, Life Doesn't Hold Many Surprises.

I Bet," Said Mulch, "that You Would Set The World On Fire Just To Watch It Burn." Opal Tapped The Suggestion Into A Small Electronic Notepad On Her Pocket Computer. Thanks For That. Now, Tell Me Everything.

Either That Boy Is The Sanest Creature On Earth, He Thought, Or He Is So Disturbed That Our Tests Cannot Even Begin To Scratch The Surface.

Orion Sniffed. "good. Then, Worthy Centaur, Perhaps You Could Give Me A Ride To The Village On Your Way Back. Then I Can Make A Few Pennies Wth My Verses While You Build Us A Shack And Perform Circus Tricks For Passersby." This Was Such A Surprising Statement That Foaly Briefly Considered Jumping Into The Hole To Get Away.

Ah, My Princess. Noble Steed. How Does The Morning Find You Both?

Chaos Reigned, And The Survivalists Eagerly Unwrapped The Kidskin From Their Crossbows. Phase One Of Opal's Plan Was Complete.

I Hear That You Were On A Date With Trouble Kelp. Are You Two Planning On Building A Bivouac Any Time Soon?

Don't Try To Understand Me, Just Be Grateful That You Felt The Warmth Of Zaphod Beeblebrox's Aura On Your Wonderstruck Face.

Grab Some Caviar From The Kitchen. You Wouldn't Believe The Muck They Feed Us In Bartleby's For Ten Thousand A Term.

I'm The Crazy Girly Captain, Remember?

Butler Could Kill You A Hundred Different Ways Without Use Of His Armoury. Though I'm Sure One Would Be Quite Sufficient.

Im Riding A Troll! I Was Born To Do This,and Steal Stuff, And Eat Loads!

The Only Other Scenario That Could Explain Everything, Up To And Including Your Own Bizarre Apperance, Is A Convoluted Conspiracy Theory Involving The Russian Mafia And A Crack Team Of Plastic Surgeons.

I Have A Lovely Office At The Back Of My House; It's An Old Stable And You Can See Right Out To The Countryside On One Side And Into The House On The Other Side.

Oh, I'm Crazy All Right. I Do Have Plenty Of Psychoses. Multiple Personality, Delusional Dementia, Ocd. I've Got Them All, But Most Of All, I'm Crazy About You.

Knock Yourself Out... Or Rather, Don't.

Humm Humm Haaa. Rahmumm Humm Haaaa," Intoned Opal, Finishing Her Chant. "peace Be Inside Me, Tolerance All Around Me, Forgiveness In My Path. Now, Mervall, Show Me Where The Filthy Human Is So That I May Feed Him His Organs.

What's That Supposed To Mean? A Wolf's Head On A Stick. Big Wolf Barbecue Tonight? Bring Your Own Wolf?

"that Was Horrible. Horrible. That Poor Little Guy." Pex Was Unrepentant. "yeah, Well, He Asked For It. Calling Us... All Those Things." But Buried Alive?! That's Like In That Horror Movie. Y'know The One With All The Horror." "i Think I Saw That One. With All The Words Going Up On The Screen At The End?" "yeah, That Was It. Tell You The Truth, Those Words Kinda Ruined It For Me."

It Took Teams Of Lep Warlocks To Slow Down Time For A Few Hours; The Magic Required To Open A Door To The Tunnel Was Stupendous. It Would Be Easier To Shoot Down The Moon. Opal Tapped This Into Her Notepad. Reminder. Shoot Down The Moon? Viable?

I Often Meet Frustrated Young Writers Who Say They've Only Got So Far And Just Can't Finish A Book. Even If You Don't Happen To Use What You've Worked On That Day, It Has Taught You Something And You'll Be Amazed When You Might Come Back To It And Use It Again.

There Is No Such Thing As A Happy Ending. Every Culture Has A Maxim That Makes This Point, While Nowhere In The Universe Is There A Single Gravestone That Reads 'he Loved Everything About His Life, Especially The Dying Bit At The End'.

Butler Was Seeing The World As It Was, Complete With L.e.p Retrival Team

As A Child, Zaphod Had Been Diagnosed With Adhddaaadhd (ntm) Abt Which Stood For Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not To Mention) A Bit Thick.

Artemis: Holly, How Did You Find Me? Holly: Oh, I Saw A Huge Explosion And Wondered: Now, Who Could That Be?

Tea? At The Beach? No Time For Luxuries, Holly. There Is Important Work To Be Done.” He Winked At Butler. “are You Sure You’re At The Library? I Thought I Heard Water.” Artemis Smiled, Enjoying The Exchange. “water? Surely Not. The Only Thing Flowing Here Is Information.” “are You Grinning, Artemis? For Some Reason I Get The Feeling That You’re Wearing That Smug Smile Of Yours.

Hey, Look Your Girlfriend Is Saying Something. Artemis Had A Vast Mental Reserve Of Scathing Comebacks At His Disposal, But None Of Them Covered Girlfriend Insults. He Wasn't Even Sure If It Was An Insult. And If It Was, Who Was Being Insulted? Him Or The Girl?

Yes. Because Every Family Needs A Laser For Thier Family Jet.

Why Can't We For Once Have A Meeting In Starbucks?

This Was A Nightmare Scenario For Any Bodyguard: Stuck In The Middle Of A Transparent Tube, Several Miles Underwater, With A Murdering Band Of Fugitives At One End And An Enthralled But Still Highly Skilled Police Officer At The Other.

Foaly Twitched His Tail Contentedly. Genius. No Point In Being Humble About It.

But Even Though There Were Plenty Of Teeth In The Grin, There Was No Heart.

Caballine Likes Me To Be Masterful. She Calls Me Her Stallion.

If You Were Me, Then I'd Be You, And If I Were You, Then I'd Hide Somewhere Far Away.

Look!" Said Foaly, Pointing With Some Urgency Into The Vast Steel-gray Gloom, "someone Who Cares!

It Would Take Less Than A Second For You To Die. But That's Quite Long Enough To Be In Mortal Agony, Don't You Think?

Hilarious, Dude. You Should, Like, Have Your Own Show.

Radomosity, Thought Artemis. And He Felt Like Weeping.

My Bugs Don't Have Bugs.

Orion Brightened. "i Have An Idea." "yes?" Said Foaly, Daring To Hope That A Spark Of Artemis Remained. "why Don't We Look For Some Magic Stones That Can Grant Wishes? Or, If That Doesn't Work, You Could Search My Naked Body For Some Mysterious Birthmark That Means I Am Actually The Prince Of Somewhere Or Other.

I'm On My Feet, Pacing Around The Room, Punching A Fist Into My Palm, Which I Stop Doing When I Realise How Drama Queen It Feels.

He Knew That Dr. Argon Would Advise Him Against Bottling Up His Emotions As It Would Lead To Psychological Scarring In The Long Term.

I Don't Suppose You Would Consider Peaceful Surrender?

Not Me," Said Orion Cheerily. "i'm Just A Teenager With Hormones Running Wild. And May I Say ,young Fairy Lady, They're Running Wild In Your Direction." Holly Lifted Her Visor And Looked The Hormonal Teenager In The Eye. "this Had Better Not Be A Game, Artemis. If You Do Not Have Some Serious Psychosis, You Will Be Sorry." "oh, I'm Crazy, Alright. I Do Have Plenty Of Psychoses," Said Orion Cheerily. "multiple Personality, Delusional Dementia, Ocd. I've Got Them All, But Most Of All, I'm Crazy About You.

Just What We Need," Moaned Holly. "artemis Fowl With Magical Powers.

We Lost The Crickets.

(about Dr. Po) Just Another Quack Spouting Psychobabble.

I Did What All Good Iriah Dads Do When Faced With A Worthy Adversary..i Said Ask Your Mother!!

I Am Not Exuding Anything," Said Holly Through Gritted Teeth. Orion Tapped Her Shoulder. "i Beg To Differ. You're Exuding Right Now, A Wonderful Aura. It's Pastel Blue With Little Dolphins.

And One More Thing. About My Name — Artemis — You Were Right. In London, It Is Generally A Female Name, After The Greek Goddess Of Archery. But Every Now And Then A Male Comes Along With Such A Talent For Hunting That He Earns The Right To Use The Name. I Am That Male. Artemis The Hunter. I Hunted You.

Onscreen, Foaly Rubbed His Eyelids With His Index Fingers. "yeah, Yeah. Here We Go. Captain Short Goes Rogue Once More. Hands Up Who's Surprised. Anyone?

Careful, Mr. Spiro, Guns Are Dangerous. Especially The End With The Hole.

Very Well. I Understand. Just ... Shut Up!

A Metaphorical Weight Lifted From His Allegorical Chest And Artemis Fowl Felt Himself Again.

...hardly. A Ragged Apron Does Not A Waiter Make.

Sounded Like Girls. Mixed Feelings On That Score. He Didn't Despise Them With The Same Passion He Used To. In Fact, Benny Suspected That There Would Come A Time In The Not-too-distant Future When He Might Develop A Mysterious Interest In Them.

You Need To Stop Thinking With Your Head, Mud Boy, And Start Thinking With Your Heart.” Artemis Sighed. The Heart Was An Organ For Pumping Oxygen-rich Blood To The Cells. It Could No More Think Than An Apple Could Tap-dance.

Together We Will Be Unstoppable.

I Am Unarmed. But Butler Here, My ...ah...butler, Has A Sig Saucer In His Shoulder Holster, Two Shrike-throwing Knives In His Boots, Aderringer Two-shot Up His Sleeve, Garrotte Wire In His Watch, And Three Stun Greanades Concealed In Variouse Pockets. Anything Else, Butler?

I Am Perhaps Unusual In That I Came To 'doctor Who' Through The Numerous Novelisations And Not Through The Television Show.

Don’t Feel Bad; I Regularly Reduce People To Unintelligible Stammers.

Sometimes Plans Don't Translate Smoothly From Paper To Real Life.

Don't You Worry About That, Mr. Adamsson. Why Don't You Head Back To Reykjavik And Spend Some Of That Extortionate Fee You Charged Me For A Couple Of Hours' Usage Of Your Frankly Third-rate Restaurant And Perhaps Find A Friendless Tree Stump To Listen To Your Woes?

Scientists Are The Enemies Of Tradition , And Tradition Own All The Prisons. - Victor Vigny

The Sarcasm Made A Slight Whistling Noise As It Flew Over Loafers' Head.

Her Glare Was So Intense That You Completely Forgot She Was Wearing Pink.

Ignorance, As They Say, Is Usually Fatal, But Sometimes It Can Be Bliss.

Look At Those Two. Wasting Time. You Wouldn't Catch Me Doing That.

So, Let's Make A Deal: If You Do Not Voice All The Withering Comments About The Weight Or Uselessness Of This Jacket That Are No Doubt Swirling In That Big Brain Of Yours, Then I Will Not Mention The Super-laser Episode Again. Agreed?" This Jacket Is Really Cutting Into My Shoulders, Thought Artemis. And It's So Heavy That I Could Not Outrun A Slug. But He Said, "agreed.

I Don't Like Lollipops.

Is That How You're Going To Take Me? Scare Me Into Voluntarily Coming Aboard, Then Steal My Ice Cube?" "it's Always Cubes With You," Noted Foaly, Somewhat Randomly. "what's Wrong With A Nice Sphere?

Too Much Damned Tv. Thinks He's Sherlock Holmes." "that's Professor Moriarty," Corrected Foaly. "holmes, Moriarty, They Both Look The Same With The Flesh Scorched Off Their Skulls.

That's The Last Order I'll Ever Give You Captain. Don't You Dare Ignore It.

You Know You're In Trouble When Your Own Imagination Starts Punishing You.

Yes, Chix, It's Between Us. Everyone Has A Right To Be Temporarily Unstable. - Foaly

Most Craft Give A Nod, However Brief And Unfriendly, Towards Beauty. Vogon Ships Did Not Nod Towards Beauty. They Pulled On Ski Masks And Mugged Beauty In A Dark Alley They Spat In The Eye Of Beauty And Bludgeoned Their Wait Through The Notions Of Aesthetics And Aerodynamics. Vogon Cruisers Did Not So Much Travel Through Space As Defile It And Toss It Aside.

We Lost The Crickets," She Said. "even You Can't Make That Sound Tough." ..."i Am Butler," He Said With A Straight-face. "everything I Say Sounds Tough. Now, Get Out Of The Lake, Fairy.

No, Mademoiselle, I Would Not Like To See The Children's Menu. I Have No Doubt That The Children's Menu Itself Tastes Better Than The Meals On It. I Would Like To Order à La Carte. Or Don't You Serve Fish To Minors?

Let's Save Some Time Here. I Grow Weary Of Your Clumsy Bluffs. In The Case Of An Abduction, The Lep Will Send A Crack Retrieval Team To Get Back What Has Been Lost.. You Have Done So. Excuse Me While I Titter. Crack Team? Honestly. A Cub-scout Patrol Armed With Water Pistols Could Have Defeated Them.

You Know, Miss Holly, You Look Very Dramatic Like That, Backlit By The Fire. Very Attractive, If I May Say So. I Know You Shared A Moment Passionne With Artemis Which He Subsequently Fouled Up With His Typical Boorish Behavior. Let Me Just Throw Something Out There For You To Consider While We're Chasing The Probe: I Share Artemis's Passion But Not His Boorishness. No Pressure; Just Think About It. This Was Enough To Elicit A Deafening Moment Of Silence Even In The Middle Of A Crisis, Which Orion Seemed To Be Blissfully Unaffected By.

Are You Saying That You People Knew About These Amorophobots All The Time?" "of Course We Did. They Attacked Us In Iceland. Remember?" "no. I Was Unconscious.

There Will Be Consequences For This, He Thought. You Can't Alter Time And Not Be Affected. But Whatever The Consequences Are, I Will Bear Them, Because The Alternative Is Too Terrible. -artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony

Remember The Pain?' Thought Artemis. I Hate Myself. I Really Do.

Butler,” He Called, His Voice Thin And Childlike In The Wind. “yes, Artemis, What?” “if Something Goes Wrong, Wait For Me. No Matter How It Looks, I Will Return. I Will Bring Them All Back.

We Get An Apartment Together, And After A Whirlwind Courtship You Marry My Sister And Honeymoon In Vegas.

I Do Like To Read In Bed, But Because I Have Two Kids I'm Often Forced To Read In The Bathroom.

Nobody's Death Is Impending." ..."well Technically Everyone's Death Is Impending.

(about His Terrible Attempt At Making A Sandwich) It's More Difficult Than It Looks. (artemis Fowl)

I Can't Imagine What They're Planning. But I Can Tell You Two Things. We Won't Like It, And It Won't Be Legal.

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, We Are Both Imbeciles. I Don't Expect Lateral Thinking From The Lep, But From You..." ... "what Is It?" [holly] Asked, Afraid Of The Answer, Which Must Surely Be Terrible. "yeah," Agreed Foaly, Who Always Had Time To Feel Insulted. "why Am I An Imbecile?

I Am Charging You With The Protection Of My Mother And Friends, Not To Mention Keeping My Younger Self Off The Internet. He Is As Dangerous As Opal.

You Display Inordinate Pride For Someone Who Has Completed A Task Which Could Have Been Performed By A Lesser Primate In A Shorter Time.

Have You Ever Heard Of The Theory Of Relativity?" Artemis Blinked. "is This A Joke? I Have Traveled Through Time, Doctor. I Think I Know A Little Something About Relativity.

Control Puberty?" Snorted The Bodyguard."if You Manage That, You'll Be The First.

I Want You To Know, My Dear Friend, That Without You, I Would Not Be The Person I Am Today." He Leaned In Close And Whispered, "i Was A Broken Boy, And You Fixed Me. Thank You.

Holly: Are You Suggesting I Occasionally Stray From The Rule Book? Foaly: No. I'm Suggesting You Do Not Own A Copy Of The Rule Book, And If You Do, You Have Certainly Never Opened It.

Artemis Turned And Stared At His Friend With The Blue Eyes. Holly Was Staring Back, And She Was Smiling. “i Remember,” She Said Aloud. “you Saved Me.” Artemis Smiled Back. “it Never Happened,” He Said.

A Cd. How Quaint. We Have These In Museums.

Holly Walked Rapidly Into The Cockpit, Strapping Herself Into The Pilot's Chair. "seven And A Half Hours To Save The World. Isn’t There Some Law That Says We Get At Least Twenty-four?" Artemis Strapped Himself Into The Co-pilot's Chair. "i Don't Think Opal Bothers With Laws.

A Pity To Survive Night Flights Over St. Georges Channel Only To Crack My Skull Falling From A Ladder.

Holly Frowned At Her. "glad To See You've Forgiven Yourself So Quickly." "harboring Feelings Of Guilt Can Have A Negative Affect On Mental Health." "child Geniuses," Growled Holly. "genii," Said Minerva.

It Was Calling Me, That Button," He Offered As His Excuse. "i Couldn't Resist." -mulch Diggums On A Highly Press-able Button-

Maybe I’ll Keep You.” Abbot Chuckled And Prodded Artemis’s Back With His Sword. “it’d Be Nice To Have A Pet Human Around. I Could Teach You Tricks.” “i Have A Trick For You,” Said Artemis, And He Fired A Single Blast From The Gun.

Meg And Belch Only Had Eyes For Each Other. Not In The Usual Romantic Sense.

Now Before We Get Into Anything, Ladies, No Scratching, No Spitting And No Tattling To Mummy.

Waitress: "and To Drink?" Artemis: "spring Water. Irish, If You Have It. And No Ice, Please. As Your Ice Is No Doubt Made From Tap Water, Which Rather Defeats The Purpose Of Spring Water.

Artemis: "right, Brothers. Onward. Imagine Yourself Seated At A Cafe In Montmartre." Myles: "in Paris." Artemis: "yes, Paris. And Try As You Will, You Cannot Attract The Waiter's Attention. What Do You Do?" Beckett: "umm...tell Butler To Jump-jump-jump On His Head?" Myles: "i Agree With Simple-toon." Artemis: "no! You Simply Raise One Finger And Say Clearly 'ici, Garcon.'" Beckett: "itchy What?

Shut Up, Julius! I Mean, Quiet A Moment, Commander.

Excuse Me, Captain. Are You Two Going To Weep Salty Tears Of Admiration Over A Helmet All Night, Or Do We Have Matters To Discuss?

The Craft's Occupants Clutched Their Armrests, And More Than One Of Them Closed Their Eyes. But Not Artemis. He Couldn't. There Was Something Morbidly Fascinating About Flying Into An Uncharted Tunnel At A Reckless Speed With Only A Kleptomaniac Dwarf's Word For What Lay At The Other End.

Satan Was Crouched In The Corner Of His Office, Playing A Gameboy, 'die Alien Scum' He Was Saying Feverishly.

Dreams Come True All The Time, Just Not For The Dreamers

I Have To Tell You, Arty, A Screw Up This Early In The Proceedings Doesn't Exactly Fill Me With Confidence. I Hope You're As Clever As You Keep Telling Everyone You Are." "i Never Tell Anybody Exactly How Clever I Am. They Would Be Too Scared.

She Can't Afford To Commit More Troops,' Holly Whispered. 'the Gate Is Her Priority, And She Needs To Have As Many Berserkers Watching Her Back As Possible. We Are Secondary At This Point.' 'that Will Be Her Undoing,' Artemis Gasped, Already Suffering Under The Weight Of The Flak Jacket. 'artemis Fowl Will Never Be Secondary.' 'i Thought You Were Artemis Fowl The Second?' Said Holly.

There Were Only Two Men On The Planet Better Educated In The Various Martial Arts Than Butler, And He Was Related To One Of Them. The Other Lived On An Island In The South China Sea, And Spent His Days Meditating And Beating Up Palm Trees. You Had To Feel Sorry For The B'wa Kell.

'insanity... I Like It."

It'll Be Messy, But After A Day You'll Be Zipping Around As Though You Were A Thousand Years Old Again.

(to Foaly) Captain Short's Life Is In Danger, So Push The Button Before I Climb That Tower And Push It With Your Face!

Trust Me. I Haven't Been Wrong Yet.

Listen To Me, Convict. I Have Not Traveled All This Way To Listen To Your War Stories. So Shut Your Trap Before I Shut It For You. Commander Julius Root

I Have No Time For Babbling Foolishness.” “don’t Be So Hasty,” Said Victor. “there’s Always Time For Babbling.

Who Are You?" He Asked. I Am The Future Queen Of This World, At The Very Least. You May Refer To Me As Mistress Koboi For The Next Five Minutes. After That You May Refer To Me As Aaaaarrrrgh, Hold Your Throat, Die Screaming, And So On.

Will You Miss Him Holly?” He Asked Suddenly. [...] “no,” She Said. “i Will Not Miss Him.” But Her Eyes Told The Real Story.

Chief Of Security : They Have A Tank! How Did They Get A Tank Up Here?

You Guys Looking For My Dad? People Are Always, Like, Looking For Him, And He's Never Around. Daddy Is So Not Here. And I Mean That Literally And Spiritually.

Holly, Do You Trust Me?” Holly Groaned. “artemis, Don’t Ask Me That. I Just Know One Of Your Outrageous Plans Is Coming.” “do You Trust Me?” “yes,” Holly Sighed. “i Do. More Than Anyone.

How Was Your... Eh... Trip?" Artemis Felt The Sting Of Tears In His Own Eyes. "um, Eventful.

Certainly, Doctor. Let's Talk About Your Chair. Victorian?

And It's Amazing How Much Noise People Ignoring Each Other Can Make.

Quickly, Holly," Said Artemis Urgently. "follow Those Bubbles." Holly Opened The Throttle. "now There's An Order I Never Thought I'd Hear From You.

Connor Broekhart Was Born To Fly, Or More Accurately He Was Born Flying.

Me," Artemis Blurted. "i'm The Nut." Artemis Could Have Sworn The Squid Winked At Him Before Bringing The Five-ton Chunk Of Spacecraft Swinging Down Toward The Morsel Of Meat In Its Blue Shell. "i'm The Nut!" Artemis Shouted Again, A Little Hysterically, It Must Be Said.

She Forces Me To Endure This Ridiculous Therapy, When The So-called Counselors Are Little Better Than Misguided Do-gooders With Degrees. -artemis Fowl

...to Be Injured On This Tundra Would Lead To A Quick And Painful Death—or At The Very Least Abject Humiliation Before The Popping Flashes Of The Tourist Season's Tail End, Which Was Slightly Less Painful Than A Painful Death, But Lasted Longer.

Gold Is Power-artemis Fowl I Liked The Artemis Fowl Series Because Its About A Boy Genius

Good. Illegal Is Always Faster.

Confidence Is Ignorance. If You're Feeling Cocky, It's Because There's Something You Don't Know.

They Have Gone. And The Tunnel Is About To Close. So, Boys, I Am Looking For Someone To Blame.

Friendship Isn't A Science Mudboy. Just Do What You Think Is Right.

Trending Author

Category