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A Grandmother Pretends She Doesn't Know Who You Are On Halloween.
-Erma Bombeck
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A Grandmother Pretends She

Erma Bombeck
...
A Grandmother Pretends She Doesn't Know Who You Are On Halloween.

Understanding the Quote: "a grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on halloween...."

This quote by Erma Bombeck reflects deeply on the theme of relationship. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Relationship, Fun, Halloween, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Erma Bombeck interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck is celebrated for insightful thoughts on relationship and fun. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

Views: 77272
Topic
Relationship
Fun
Halloween
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I Have Finally Mastered What To Do With The Second Tennis Ball. Having Small Hands, I Was Becoming Terribly Self-conscious About Keeping It In A Can In The Car While I Served The First One. I Noted Some Women Tucked The Second Ball Just Inside The Elastic Leg Of Their Tennis Panties. I Tried, But Found The Space Already Occupied By A Leg. Now, I Simply Drop The Second Ball Down My Cleavage, Giving Me A Chest That Often Stuns My Opponent Throughout An Entire Set.
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When Mothers Talk About The Depression Of The Empty Nest, They're Not Mourning The Passing Of All Those Wet Towels On The Floor, Or The Music That Numbs Your Teeth, Or Even The Bottle Of Capless Shampoo Dribbling Down The Shower Drain. They're Upset Because They've Gone From Supervisor Of A Child's Life To A Spectator. It's Like Being The Vice President Of The United States.
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Humor
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Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
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Children
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Literature
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Boxes
I've Exercised With Women So Thin That Buzzards Followed Them To Their Cars.
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Car
Buzzards
I Don't Know Why No One Ever Thought To Paste A Label On The Toilet-tissue Spindle Giving 1-2-3 Directions For Replacing The Tissue On It. Then Everyone In The House Would Know What Mama Knows.
Giving
House
Labels
Families Aren't Easy To Join. They're Like An Exclusive Country Club Where Membership Makes Impossible Demands And The Dues For An Outsider Are Exorbitant.
Family
Country
Demand
Never Accept A Drink From A Urologist.
Funny
Drinking
Humor
Babies Should Enjoy The Freedom To Vocalize Whether It Be In Church, A Public Meeting Place, During A Movie, Or After Hours When The Lights Are Out. They Have Not Yet Learned That Joy And Laughter Have To Last A Lifetime And Must Be Conserved.
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Baby
Laughter
Someday, When My Children Are Old Enough To Understand The Logic That Motivates A Mother, I'll Tell Them: I Loved You Enough To Bug You About Where You Were Going, With Whom And What Time You Would Get Home. ... I Loved You Enough To Be Silent And Let You Discover Your Friend Was A Creep. I Loved You Enough To Make You Return A Milky Way With A Bite Out Of It To A Drugstore And Confess, 'i Stole This.' ... But Most Of All I Loved You Enough To Say No When You Hated Me For It. That Was The Hardest Part Of All.
Mother
Children
Home
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Chocolate
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Giving
Looks
Minutes
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Mother
Art
Sex
Explain To Me How He [her Son] Can Ride A Bicycle, Run, Play Ball, Set Up A Camp, Swing, Fight A War, Swim And Race For Eight Hours ... And Has To Be Driven To The Garbage Can.
Running
War
Fighting
The More I Think About It, The More There Is To Be Said For The Sloth. He Sleeps Fifteen To Eighteen Hours A Day And Is Known To Have Taken Forty-eight Days To Travel Four Miles. He Hangs In The Trees After He's Dead. But He Lives Longer Than The Cheetah.
Funny
Taken
Sleep
No One Diets On Thanksgiving.
Funny Thanksgiving
Diets
Mothers Are Not The Nameless, Faceless Stereotypes Who Appear Once A Year On A Greeting Card With Their Virtues Set To Prose, But Women Who Have Been Dealt A Hand For Life And Play Each Card One At A Time The Best Way They Know How. No Mother Is All Good Or All Bad, All Laughing Or All Serious, All Loving Or All Angry. Ambivalence Rushes Through Their Veins.
Mother
Hands
Years
She's As Funny As A Toothache
Toothache
Not All Bears Have Their Own Television Series. Some Of Them Are Unemployed Wild Animals.
Animal
Television
Bears
I Will Buy Any Creme, Cosmetic, Or Elixir From A Woman With A European Accent.
Europe
Literature
Cosmetics
With Girls, Everything Looks Great On The Surface. But Beware Of Drawers That Won't Open. They Contain A Three-month Supply Of Dirty Underwear, Unwashed Hose, And Rubber Bands With Blobs Of Hair In Them.
Girl
Dirty
Hair
Encourage Independence In Your Children By Regularly Losing Them In The Supermarket.
Children
Independence
Losing
Once You Get A Spice In Your Home, You Have It Forever. Women Never Throw Out Spices. The Egyptians Were Buried With Their Spices. I Know Which One I'm Taking With Me When I Go.
Home
Forever
Spices
A Child Needs Your Love Most When He Deserves It Least
Children
Needs
Deserve
Throughout The Years I Have Set Up My Own Rules About Eating Food: Never Eat Anything You Can't Pronounce. Beware Of Food That Is Described As, "some Americans Say It Tastes Like Chicken.
Years
Taste
Eating
I Firmly Believe Kids Don't Want Your Understanding. They Want Your Trust, Your Compassion, Your Blinding Love And Your Car Keys, But You Try To Understand Them And You're In Big Trouble.
Believe
Kids
Compassion
When Humor Go's, There Go's Civilization.
Civilization
Sense Of Humor
Kids Have Little Computer Bodies With Disks That Store Information. They Remember Who Had To Do The Dishes The Last Time You Had Spaghetti, Who Lost The Knob Off The Tv Set Six Years Ago, Who Got Punished For Teasing The Dog When He Wasn't Teasing The Dog And Who Had To Wear Girls Boots The Last Time It Snowed.
Girl
Dog
Kids
The Mole Rat Is The Only Rodent Born Without A Fur Coat. With A Good Lawyer, Someone Would Pay For That Little Oversight.
Funny
God
Humorous
I Hated Skiing Or Any Other Sport Where There Was An Ambulance Waiting At The Bottom Of The Hill.
Sports
Waiting
Hills
Did You Ever Notice That The First Piece Of Luggage On The Carousel Never Belongs To Anyone?
Inspirational
Funny
Travel
The Fact Was I Didn't Want To Look My Age, But I Didn't Want To Act The Age I Wanted To Look Either. I Also Wanted To Grow Old Enough To Understand That Sentence.
Age
Looks
Want
[on Her Father's Death:] I Didn't Know His Leaving Would Hurt So Much.
Hurt
Father
Leaving
Good Kids Are Like Sunsets. We Take Them For Granted. Every Evening They Disappear. Most Parents Never Imagine How Hard They Try To Please Us, And How Miserable They Feel When They Think They Have Failed.
Sunset
Kids
Thinking
Written On Her Tombstone: "i Told You I Was Sick.
Tombstone
Sick
Written
I've Never Vied For Power In The Family Before. Pointing A Box At The Garage Door And Saying "open!" Was Never A Big Deal, But Holding That Television Tuner And Realizing I Alone Control What Is Flashed On The Screen Brings Out The Iacocca In Me.
Doors
Television
Realizing
Seize The Moment. Remember All Those Women On The 'titanic' Who Waved Off The Dessert Cart.
Funny
Food
Humor
I Have Always Felt Cookbooks Were Fiction And The Most Beautiful Words In The English Language Were 'room Service.
Beautiful
Cooking
Room Service
My Type Of Humor Is Almost Pure Identification. A Housewife Reads My Column And Says, 'but That's Happened To Me! I Know Just What She's Talking About!
Women
Talking
Columns
There Is One Thing I Have Never Taught My Body How To Do And That Is To Figure Out At 6 A.m. What It Wants To Eat At 6 P.m.
Body
Want
Taught
I Have Seen My Kid Struggle Into The Kitchen In The Morning With Outfits That Need Only One Accessory: An Empty Gin Bottle.
Inspirational
Morning
Teenage
Every Puppy Should Have A Boy.
Dog
Boys
Should Have
No Baby Shall At Any Time Be Quartered In A House Where There Are No Soft Laps, No Laughter, Or No Love.
Baby
Laughter
House
When They Told Me I Needed A Mastectomy, I Thought Of The Thousands Of Luncheons And Dinners I Had Attended Where They Slapped A Name Tag On My Left Bosom. I Always Smiled And Said, 'now, What Shall We Name The Other One?' That Would No Longer Be A Problem.
Names
Dinner
Tag
No One Ever Died From Sleeping In An Unmade Bed. I Have Known Mothers Who Remake The Bed After Their Children Do It Because There Is Wrinkle In The Spread Or The Blanket Is On Crooked. This Is Sick.
Family
Mother
Children
If I Had My Life To Live Over Again, I Would Have Waxed Less And Listened More. ... I Would Have Cried And Laughed Less While Watching Television ... And More While Watching Real Life. ... But Mostly, Given Another Shot At Life, I Would Seize Every Minute Of It ... Look At It And Really See It ... Try It On ... Live It ... Exhaust It ... And Never Give The Minute Back Until There Was Nothing Left Of It.
Real
Giving
Trying
Motherhood Isn't Just A Series Of Contractions; It's A State Of Mind. From The Moment We Know Life Is Inside Us, We Feel A Responsibility To Protect And Defend That Human Being.
Responsibility
Motherhood
Mind
There Is So Much To Teach, And The Time Goes So Fast.
Teach
Most Children's First Words Are 'mama' Or 'daddy.' Mine Were, 'do I Have To Use My Own Money?'
Children
Daddy
Use
A Grandparent Will Accept Your Calls From Anywhere, Collect.
Grandparent
Age
Aging
My Second Favorite Household Chore Is Ironing. My First Being Hitting My Head On The Top Bunk Bed Until I Faint.
Family
Mom
Mother
If Anyone Knew Where They Were, I'd Send The Isdbb (incredibly Stupid And Dumb Beyond Belief) Award To The Two Guys Who Tried To Break In To The Ohio Penitentiary.
Funny
Stupid
Awards
Grandma Told Me Mama Was Once Caught By The Principal For Writing In The Front Of Her Book, "in Case Of Fire, Throw This In First." I Have Never Had So Much Respect For Mama As The Day I Heard This.
Funny
Reading
Book
It Is Not Until You Become A Mother That Your Judgment Slowly Turns To Compassion And Understanding.
Family
Mom
Mother
I'm Real Ambivalent About [working Mothers]. Those Of Use Who Have Been In The Women's Movement For A Long Time Know That We've Talked A Good Game Of "go Out And Fulfill Your Dreams" And "be Everything You Were Meant To Be." But By The Same Token, We Want Daughters-in-law Who Are Going To Stay Home And Raise Our Grandchildren.
Daughter
Mother
Dream
I Have A Friend Who Lives By A Three-word Philosophy: Seize The Moment. Just Possibly, She May Be The Wisest Woman On This Planet.
Philosophy
Three
May
One Son Appears In Stereo - A Transistor In One Ear And The Phone In The Other.
Humorous
Son
Phones
Hello There. I'm Out Social Climbing, But If You Leave Your Name And Number And If You're Anybody, I'll Get Back To You.
Climbing
Names
Numbers
Limousines Used To Be Reserved For The Ruling Class, Or, On Special Occasions, For The Working Class. Today, Limousines Are Like Taxicabs With The Door Handles Still Intact.
Funny
Humor
Doors
When I Stand Before God At The End Of My Life, I Would Hope That I Would Not Have A Single Bit Of Talent Left, And Could Say, 'i Used Everything You Gave Me'.
Inspirational
Life
Motivational
A Small Waist Makes You Tire Easily.
Weight
Tire
What Makes People Laugh? . . . It's A Happy Marriage Between A Person Who Needs To Laugh And Someone Who's Got One To Give.
Laughter
People
Giving
Remember, You Can Lead A Fifty-seven-year-old Body To Motherhood, But You Can't Make It Stay Awake.
Funny
Mother
Humorous
A Grandparent Is The Only Baby-sitter Who Doesn't Charge More After Midnight - Or Anything Before Midnight.
Baby
Grandparent
Midnight
I Was A Closet Pacifier Advocate. So Were Most Of My Friends. Unknown To Our Mothers, We Owned Thirty Or Forty Of Those Little Suckers That Were Placed Strategically Around The House So A Cry Could Be Silenced In Less Than Thirty Seconds. Even Though Bottles Were Boiled, Rooms Disinfected, And Germs Fought One On One, No One Seemed To Care Where The Pacifier Had Been.
Mother
House
Bottles
If I Had My Life To Live Over I Would Have Burned The Pink Candle Sculpted Like A Rose Before It Melted In Storage.
Rose
Storage
Burned
Let Me Put It This Way. According To My Girth, I Should Be A Ninety-foot Redwood.
Feet
Way
Redwoods
I Would Have Invited Friends Over To Dinner Even If The Carpet Was Stained, Or The Sofa Faded.
Dinner
Sofas
Carpet
Grandmas Can Shed The Yoke Of Responsibility, Relax And Enjoy Their Grandchildren In A Way That Was Not Possible When They Were Raising Their Own Children. And They Can Glow In The Realisation That Here Is Their Seed Of Life That Will Harvest Generations To Come.
Children
Grandma
Responsibility
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