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When I Decided That I Wanted To Go To College, I Wanted To Be A School Teacher For 7th And 8th Grade Boys Because I Felt That Was An Important Time For Them. I Had Gone Astray At That Point In My Life And Really Wanted To Help Keep Them From Making The Same Mistake I Had Made.

-Bill Cosby

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When I Decided That

Bill Cosby

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When I Decided That I Wanted To Go To College, I Wanted To Be A School Teacher For 7th And 8th Grade Boys Because I Felt That Was An Important Time For Them. I Had Gone Astray At That Point In My Life And Really Wanted To Help Keep Them From Making The Same Mistake I Had Made.

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Poets Have Said That The Reason To Have Children Is To Give Yourself Immortality. Immortality? Now That I Have Five Children, My Only Hope Is That They Are All Out Of The House Before I Die.

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I've Got A Ferrari. Vroom! I Do 104 From The Garage To The Front Door.

How Long Can You Tread Water?

I'm Not Going Out And Hitting A 95-mph Fastball Where I Can't See The Stitches. I'm Not On A Professional Football Team Looking To Tackle A Fullback Who Is Built Like Solid Wood. I'm A Thinking Person, And I've Been Blessed With The Ability To See Some Things And Talk About Them In A Way That Registers In A Humorous And Funny Way.

We Are The Only Animals That Let Our Kids Come Back Home.

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For College Seniors There Should Be A Week Of Being Allowed To Cry. Just Break Down And Cry Because You Are Scared And Don't Know What's Next.

Don't Talk Yourself Into Not Being You.

The Game Of Chess. Supposedly Men Made It Up, And It's About War And Men And The Ravages And The Bravery And The Genius Of Commanding And Moving Pieces And ... No. It's Marriage. The Queen Moves Anywhere She Wants.

There Should Be Marches In Every Neighborhood Every Day Telling The People About The Negativity Of Drugs And How The Drugs Help Us To Behave Negatively.

I Am Certainly Not An Authority On Love Because There Are No Authorities On Love, Just Those Who've Had Luck With It And Those Who Haven't.

Guys Standing Around And Talking About Spanish Fly: 'you Know Anything About Spanish Fly?' 'no, Tell Me About It.' Well There's This Girl Crazy Mary, You Put Some In Her Drink Man, She, 'haaaaaaaaaaaaah.' Oh Yeah, That's Really Groovy Man, Spanish Fly Is Groovy, Yeah. From Then On, Any Time You See A Girl: 'wish I Had Some Spanish Fly.' Go To A Party See Five Girls Standing Alone: 'boy If I Had A Whole Jug Of Spanish Fly, I'd Light That Corner Up Over There. Haaaaaah.'

You Also Notice That The Right Side Of Your Face Feels Like It's Sliding Off Of Your Skull. And Your Bottom Lip Is In Your Lap!

Anecdote: In A Controversial Way, Comedian And Actor Bill Cosby Sought To Teach His Son The Pain Of Being Lied To. Convinced His Son Had Been Dishonest Regarding An Issue, Cosby Promised That If He Told Him The Truth, He Would Not Hit Him. When His Son Did Confess, Cosby Did Hit Him. Seeing His Son's Shock And Hurt, Cosby Said He Hoped This Lesson Had Deepened His Understanding Of The Anguish Generated By A Sense Betrayal.

A New Father Quickly Learns That His Child Invariably Comes To The Bathroom At Precisely The Times When He's In There, As If He Needed Company. The Only Way For This Father To Be Certain Of Bathroom Privacy Is To Shave At The Gas Station.

Any Husband Who Says, "my Wife And I Are Completely Equal Partners," Is Talking About Either A Law Firm Or A Hand Of Bridge.

It Doesn't Make Any Difference How Much Money A Father Earns, His Name Is Always Dad-can-i.... Like All Other Children, My Five Have One Great Talent: They Are Gifted Beggars. Not One Of Them Ever Ran Into The Room, Looked Up At Me, And Said, "i'm Really Happy That You're My Father, And As A Tangible Token Of My Appreciation, Here's A Dollar.

The Summit, Which Is Set Up To Educate People About Managing Their Money And Protecting Their Income, Leads To Empowerment Of Self, For Which This Summit Needs To Be Applauded.

After Creating The Heaven, The Earth, The Ocean, And The Entire Animal Kingdom, God Created Adam And Eve. And The First Thing He Said To Them Was "don't."

You Are A Genius!... And I Am A Genius Because I Married You.

Why Do Kids Always Say Peace Out, I Though Peace Was In.

There Should Be More On Television That Uplifts People And Shows Them How To Better Prepare Themselves For Earning A Living. There Still Aren't Enough People That Say "this Should Not Be." We Just Let It Go. We Need To Raise A Loud Voice About Our Fellow Human Beings.

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Old Neighborhood

Parents Are People Who Yell And They Yell And They Yell And They Yell. And You Already Have The Point... And They're Still Yelling.

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Civilization Had Too Many Rules For Me, So I Did My Best To Rewrite Them.

Laughter Brings Out The Child In All Of Us.

I Didn't Like What Was On Tv In Terms Of Sitcomsit Had Nothing To Do With The Color Of Themi Just Didn't Like Any Of Them. I Saw Little Kids, Let's Say 6 Or 7 Years Old, White Kids, Black Kids. And The Way They Were Addressing The Father Or The Mother, The Writers Had Turned Things Around, So The Little Children Were Smarter Than The Parent Or The Caregiver. They Were Just Not Funny To Me. I Felt That It Was Manipulative And The Audience Was Looking At Something That Had No Responsibility To The Family.

God Has A Sense Of Humor Though And He Must See Funny Things In Us. He Must Also Have Some Love. We're Still Here And There Are Still Great Things That Go On. There Are Great Doctors Who Discover How To Separate Twins And How To Put Together A Human Being To Walk Again After It's Said He Won't. Those Are All There As Signs.

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