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I Think The Part Of Media That Romanticizes Criminal Behavior, Things That A Person Will Say Against Women, Profanity, Being Gangster, Having Multiple Children With Multiple Men And Women And Not Wanting To Is Prevalent. When You Look At The Majority Of Shows On Television They Placate That Kind Of Behavior. If You Go Through A Weekly Monday Through Friday, It's All There. It's In How People On The Sitcoms And Cop Shows Talk To Each Other.

-Bill Cosby

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I Think The Part

Bill Cosby

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I Think The Part Of Media That Romanticizes Criminal Behavior, Things That A Person Will Say Against Women, Profanity, Being Gangster, Having Multiple Children With Multiple Men And Women And Not Wanting To Is Prevalent. When You Look At The Majority Of Shows On Television They Placate That Kind Of Behavior. If You Go Through A Weekly Monday Through Friday, It's All There. It's In How People On The Sitcoms And Cop Shows Talk To Each Other.

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College Was A Wonderful Time - Except, Of Course, When It Was Trying To Teach You Things.

I Don't Have A Clue About The Way To Achievement, However The Way To Disappointment Is Attempting To Please Everyone.

My Father Wanted Me To Play Pro Football, And He Didn't Like The Fact That I'd Left School. And He Said, "it Takes A Man To Play Football. And Any Fool Can Go Up On The Stage And Make An Ass Of Himself.

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The Wisest Married Men Give In Early. They Get In Touch With The Wife Side Of Themselves, And That's When They Stop Arguing.

A Person With No Children Says, "well I Just Love Children," And You Say "why?" And They Say, "because A Child Is So Truthful, That's What I Love About 'em - They Tell The Truth." That's A Lie, I've Got Five Of 'em. The Only Time They Tell The Truth Is If They're Having Pain.

All Around The United States Of America - In The Cities And The Counties - Our Public Education Is Suffering And Has Been Suffering. Cuts, Cuts, Cuts.

You Also Notice That The Right Side Of Your Face Feels Like It's Sliding Off Of Your Skull. And Your Bottom Lip Is In Your Lap!

Now, Richard Pryor Was Unique. Many Misunderstood His Humor. He Lit Up The Hallway, But They Didn't Understand His Use Of Profanity. He Didn't Use It Just To Be Using It; He Used It In The Context Of His Satire.

Our Children Are Angry. The Profanity Is Out In The Street. It's On The Buses And In The Subway. Our Children Are Trying To Tell Us Something, And We Are Not Listening.

No Matter What You Think-life Goes On And The World Still Turns And The Universe Has Its Own Story. The Most We Can Do Is Plan Anyway, But Understand, Be Humbled By Things Greater Than Ourselves.

I Am Certainly Not An Authority On Love Because There Are No Authorities On Love, Just Those Who've Had Luck With It And Those Who Haven't.

If You Took Your Child To The Dentist And Check For Cavities, The Child Likely Won't Get Them. If You Take Them Just For Emergency, That's All They're Gonna Get.

The Beautiful Thing About Older People Is Their Ability To Cut The Fat Off Of Conversation. When They Talk, They Don't Go On Forever And Ever. They Say What They Have To Say, And That's It. That Was My Grand Dad. Some Of The Things He Said Stunned Me, But His Words Were Logical. I'll Never Forget Them.

Fatherhood Is Pretending The Present You Love Most Is Soap-on-a-rope.

We Are The Only Animals That Let Our Kids Come Back Home.

There Are No Absolutes In Raising Children. In Any Stressful Situation, Fathering Is Always A Roll Of The Dice. The Game May Be Messy, But I Have Never Found One With More Joys And Rewards.

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My Father Walked To School 4 O'clock Every Morning With No Shoes On, Uphill, Both Ways, In 5 Feet Of Snow And He Was Thankful.

You'll Have Many, Many Friends, But If Your Relationship With Your Mate Is One Hundred Per Cent Of Your Heart, You'll Never Need A Friend.

I'm Not Going Out And Hitting A 95-mph Fastball Where I Can't See The Stitches. I'm Not On A Professional Football Team Looking To Tackle A Fullback Who Is Built Like Solid Wood. I'm A Thinking Person, And I've Been Blessed With The Ability To See Some Things And Talk About Them In A Way That Registers In A Humorous And Funny Way.

I Don't Wear No Condom And I Don't Plan For No Kids.

My Latest Blood Test Said My Cholesterol Was Very High And My Doctor Recommended Some Medicine For It. I Said "no" To His Recommendation And He Said "what Are You Going To Do?" I Said I Ate My Way Into This And I'm Going To Eat My Way Out Of It.

There Is No Labor A Person Does That Is Undignified; If They Do It Right.

The Worst Thing To Do Is To Die While Reading Life Magazine.

I'm Not Saying Looting Is Good, ... But I'm Saying Surely At A Time When Your Child Needs Diapers And You Need Food, When Does Looting Stop.

If The Audience Knows You Can Be Funny When You Want To Be, They Will Be Willing To Wait For That Payoff.

There Are Some People Who Have Trouble Recognizing A Mess.

The Mother May Be Doing Ninety Percent Of The Disciplining, But The Father Still Must Have A Full-time Acceptance Of All The Children. He Never Must Say, "get These Kids Out Of Here; I'm Trying To Watch Tv." If He Ever Does Start Saying This, He Is Liable To See One Of His Kids On The Six O'clock News.

People Say "god Will Find A Way." God Can't Find A Way If You're In The Way.

I Am Proud To Be An American. Because An American Can Eat Anything On The Face Of This Earth As Long As He Has Two Pieces Of Bread.

I Think You Need To Make Responsibility Something That's Not Just A Word.

These People Marched And Were Hit In The Face With Rocks To Get An Education And Now We've Got These Knuckleheads Walking Round.

My Feeling Is, Personally, I Want To Die First... Because I Believe That When You Die, Your Soul Goes Immediately Up For Judgment - And I Don't Want My Wife Up There First. No, The Judgment Will Be Horrendous.

Let Me Say This: I Only Expect The Black Media To Uphold The Standards Of Excellence In Journalism And When You Do That, You Have To Go In With A Neutral Mind.

Every Closed Eye Is Not Sleeping, And Every Open Eye Is Not Seeing.

A Father Has To Do Everything In His Power To Keep A Tight Ship, Even Though He Knows The Crew Would Like To Send Him Away In A Dinghy.

We Parents Ask Dumb Questions, Therefore We Get Dumb Answers.

I Brought You In This World, And I Can Take You Out!

We Cannot Afford To Settle For Being Just Average; We Must Learn As Much As We Can To Be The Best That We Can. The Key Word Is Education - Education With Maximum Effort. Without It, We Cannot Be In Charge Of Ourselves Or Anyone Else.

The Problem Is That Your Daughter Has Given Her Heart To A 15-year-old Boy, And A 15-year-old Boy Does Not Yet Qualify As A Human Being.

Beware Of People Who Fall At Your Feet. They May Be Reaching For The Corner Of The Rug.

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You Can't Compete With Walmart. But You Can Have Smaller Businesses That Are Successful.

All Parents Experience The Same Problems.

Listen To John Coltrane Enough And After Two Bars, Just Two Bars At Any Place, And You Know That's Him. We All Have Signature Things That Happen To Be Similar That You Can Predict And You Try To Stay Away From That Except The Rhythms: Those Pauses, They're Part Of My Signature, The Part Where I Know When I Say Nothing, I Already Painted Enough, Led Enough And I Don't Even Have To Say Anything. But Those Pauses Don't Belong To Me. Jack Benny Was One Of The First Guys In Comedy To Make The Anticipation So Great That During The Pause People Start To Laugh Before The Execution.

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All Men Should Freely Use Those Seven Words Which Have The Power To Make Any Marriage Run Smoothly: You Know Dear, You May Be Right

There Is Hope For The Future Because God Has A Sense Of Humor And We Are Funny To God.

My Grandpa Didn't Believe In Hugging And Kissing, Or Saying I Love You. His Love Had To Do With The Way He Treated You. When He Said, We're Going Here, We're Going There, He Was Telling Me About Life. That Was His Love For Me. My Love For Him Was Listening To What He Said, Keeping Out Of Trouble, Doing Right, Being Fair.

Education Happens To Be Something That All People, All Cultures, Need To Embrace. Math, Science, The Words Of The World. To Be Able To Speak And Be Able To Have Clarity And To Be Able To Think. Those Are The Greatest Of Gifts.

Is The Glass Half Full, Or Half Empty? It Depends On Whether You're Pouring, Or Drinking.

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A Hoyo De Monterrey Double Corona Is My Favourite Cuban Since Desi Arnaz.

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Your Parents Put A Curse On You - Someday Your Kids Are Going To Act Just Like You.

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I Cannot Understand How The Education Of This United States Of America Has Been Fooled Time And Time Again. Either Make It Separate But Equal Or Integrate, Therefore It Will Be Equal. And It Has Been Separate And Unequal.

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But If That's What You Want To Be, That's What You Will Be - As Long As You Study.

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You Know My Father's Favorite Game? Come Here And Pull My Finger.

Poets Have Said That The Reason To Have Children Is To Give Yourself Immortality. Immortality? Now That I Have Five Children, My Only Hope Is That They Are All Out Of The House Before I Die.

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My Father Would Pass Gas And Then Blame It On Imaginary Animals.

You Can Teach An Old Dog New Tricks. You Just Don't Want To See The Dog Doing Them.

I Think The Part Of Media That Romanticizes Criminal Behavior, Things That A Person Will Say Against Women, Profanity, Being Gangster, Having Multiple Children With Multiple Men And Women And Not Wanting To Is Prevalent. When You Look At The Majority Of Shows On Television They Placate That Kind Of Behavior. If You Go Through A Weekly Monday Through Friday, It's All There. It's In How People On The Sitcoms And Cop Shows Talk To Each Other.

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A Grandchild Is God's Reward For Raising A Child.

The Three Ingredients Of A Successful Union Between Two ... Humor, Commitment & Undying Love.

I Don't Have A Problem Believing In God And Jesus. But In Genesis One Has To Wonder About These Sentences That Just Go On And End Without Finishing. The Thought Is Unfinished. Where Did Adam Go? What Is He Doing? Hello? There Has To Be Some Pages Missing.

I Am Not Afraid Of Crashing, My Secret Is . . . Just Before We Hit The Ground, I Jump As High As I Can.

My Grandfather Said, "when You Become Senile, You Won't Know It."

This Happened To The People. The Constitution Says Of The People, By The People, For The People... But The People Who Got The Office, Got Into Office And Forgot About The People.

What's Your Name Again? That's Right. I'm So Glad You Know Your Name.

The Most Important Educational Vehicle In All Life Is A Parent Figure.

If You Have No Faith, You've Lost Your Battle.

If A White Man Falls Off A Chair Drunk, It's Just A Drunk. If A Negro Does, It's The Whole Damn Negro Race.

A Word To The Wise Ain't Necessary - It's The Stupid Ones That Need The Advice.

Meadowlark And I Share A Common Vision Of Bringing Joy And Laughter To Others.

Romance Is A Different Word Than Sexual Contact.

Why Do I Have To Feed The Kids? They Just Ate Twelve Hours Ago!

Immortality Is A Long Shot, I Admit. But Somebody Has To Be First.

Some Authority On Parenting Once Said, "hold Them Very Close And Then Let Them Go." This Is The Hardest Truth For A Father To Learn: That His Children Are Continuously Growing Up And Moving Away From Him (until, Of Course, They Move Back In).

My Mother Comes In My Room And Says, "just Look At This Mess! This Is A Pig Sty!" Now, I've Already Been In The Room Five Hours, And She Wants Me To Look At It.

I Love It When Mothers Get So Mad They Can't Remember Your Name. "come Here, Roy, Er, Rupert, Er, Rutabaga... What Is Your Name, Boy? And Don't Lie To Me, Because You Live Here, And I'll Find Out Who You Are."

Nothing I've Ever Done Has Given Me More Joys And Rewards Than Being A Father To My Children.

I Wanted To Give The House Back To The Parents.

I'm Not The Boss Of My House. I Don't Know How I Lost It, I Don't Know When I Lost It, I Don't Really Think I Ever Had It. But I've Seen The Boss's Job...and I Don't Want It!

You Know The Only People Who Are Always Sure About The Proper Way To Raise Children? Those Who've Never Had Any.

I Know People Are Tired Of Me Not Saying Anything, But A Guy Doesn't Have To Answer To Innuendos.

Children Today Know More About Sex Than I Or My Father Did.

When A Person Has A Gun, Sometimes Their Mind Clicks That This Thing ... Will Win Arguments And Straighten People Out.

Anyone Who Has Brought Up Children Knows That Consistency Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With Discipline.

"and Tired" Always Followed Sick. Worst Beating I Ever Got In My Life, My Mother Said, "i Am Just Sick..." And I Said, "and Tired." I Don't Remember Anything After That.

The Essence Of Childhood, Of Course, Is Play.

It Is Not A Matter Of Who Is Rejecting Me, As Much As It Is Somebody May Get It, And I Am Going To Keep Plowing Through It Because In This World Of Education, There Is A Harvest.

You People Are Not Prepared. You Are Well Educated And You Look Cute, But That's Not Going To Cut It.

I Don't Know The Key To Success, But The Key To Failure Is Trying To Please Everybody.

I Use The Exercise Room Early, Because I Don't Want To Get On The Treadmill And Everyone's Going 'oh, Bill Cosby,' And Then They Come Around To See How Fast I'm Walking, And It Becomes Very Competitive.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

Having A Child Is Surely The Most Beautifully Irrational Act That Two People In Love Can Commit.

The Measure Ov Overexposure Is Not How Many Times People See You On Tv Or In The Bookstores. It's Whether You Can Maintain The Quality Of Your Entertainment. If You Can, People Will Always Be Glad To See You.

If You Want To Be Seen, Stand Up. If You Want To Be Heard, Speak Up. If You Want To Be Appreciated, Shut Up.

With My Wife Camille's Help, I Took To Social Networking. I'm Working With The Computers.

In Genesis, It Is Stated God Walked On Earth. He Was There On The Level. After Watching Human Behavior, He Ascended Having Had Enough Of Us And Decided To Watch Over Us Instead.

We Go Out Of Our Way To Make People So Different,... To Punish Them Because Of Color, Because Of Sex, Because Of Size, And The Game Starts.

If You Have No Faith, You've Lost Your Battle. You Can't Let Things Just Happen. If You Know Right From Wrong, And You Know Proof That Certain Things Are True And People Are Telling You Information To Guide You And It's Good Solid Information, Than You Should Have It.

George Carlin Is Brilliant With Words, And Johnny Winters Is Very Creative. It's Taking Something Common And Drawing Out The Humor, Being Clever With Words.

That's Why Ears Have Cartilage, To Keep Them From Flapping.

Anyone Can Dabble, But Once You've Made That Commitment, Your Blood Has That Particular Thing In It, And It's Very Hard For People To Stop You.

Any Husband Who Says, "my Wife And I Are Completely Equal Partners," Is Talking About Either A Law Firm Or A Hand Of Bridge.

A Pelican That Is Wet Walks With A Gated Limp, But A Dry Fish Swims Alone.

Fatherhood Is Helping Your Children Learn English As A Foreign Language.

A Baseball Manager Has Learned A Lot About His Job From Having Played The Game, But A Parent Has Not Learned A Thing From Having Once Been A Child.

People Will Frighten You About A Graduation.... They Use Words You Don't Hear Often: And We Wish You Godspeed." It Is A Warning, Godspeed. It Means You Are No Longer Welcome Here At These Prices."

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There Should Be Marches In Every Neighborhood Every Day Telling The People About The Negativity Of Drugs And How The Drugs Help Us To Behave Negatively.

Family Is Conflict And It's Something That We All Relate To.

Family Conflict

We’ve Got To Get The Gun Out Of The Hands Of People Who Are Supposed To Be On Neighborhood Watch.

'don't Worry About Senility', My Grandfather Used To Say.

After Creating The Heaven, The Earth, The Ocean, And The Entire Animal Kingdom, God Created Adam And Eve. And The First Thing He Said To Them Was "don't."

I Often Try To Tell Kids To Think About All The People Who Love You, Don't Cry Over The One Person Who Doesn't.

Repeat After Me. I Promise Not To Run Outside Of The House. I Promise Not To Run Inside Of The House. I Promise Not To Touch, Pick Up, Step On, Anything That Looks Interesting.

In Spite Of What Thomas Jefferson Wrote, All Men May Be Created Equal, But Not To All Women.

I'm A Christian. But Muslims Are Misunderstood. Intentionally Misunderstood. We Should All Be More Like Them.

Never Forget That The Devil Is There 24/7 Too. He's Very, Very Busy.

I Think The Part Of Media That Romanticizes Criminal Behavior, Things That A Person Will Say Against Women, Profanity, Being Gangster, Having Multiple Children With Multiple Men And Women And Not Wanting To Is Prevalent. When You Look At The Majority Of Shows On Television They Placate That Kind Of Behavior.

I Didn't Like What Was On Tv In Terms Of Sitcomsit Had Nothing To Do With The Color Of Themi Just Didn't Like Any Of Them. I Saw Little Kids, Let's Say 6 Or 7 Years Old, White Kids, Black Kids. And The Way They Were Addressing The Father Or The Mother, The Writers Had Turned Things Around, So The Little Children Were Smarter Than The Parent Or The Caregiver. They Were Just Not Funny To Me. I Felt That It Was Manipulative And The Audience Was Looking At Something That Had No Responsibility To The Family.

I'm Going Out... Because I Deserve To Go Out! And I'm Going To Get Drunk... Because I Deserve To Get Drunk! And Get Out Of My Way!

You Can Never Give Complete Authority And Overall Power To Anyone Until Trust Can Be Proven.

It Isn't A Matter Of Black Is Beautiful As Much As It Is White Is Not All That's Beautiful.

People Will Frighten You About A Graduation....they Use Words You Don't Hear Often.

Never Say [to Younger People] "that Was Before Your Time," Because The Last Full Moon Was Before Their Time!

I Want All This Loud Profanity In The Street Stopped. I Want People To Think About Choices.

Violence Won't Solve A Thing. It Makes It More Challenging To Solve, Though.

In My Old Neighborhood, A Boy Stopped Playing When He Began To Lose His Pulse. And Then He Became The Referee.

Old Neighborhood

Criticizing Is Easy, Art Is Difficult.

The Essence Of Childhood, Of Course, Is Play, Which My Friends And I Did Endlessly On Streets That We Reluctantly Shared With Traffic.

Decide That You Want It More Than You Are Afraid Of It.

Man Can Not Live By Bread Alone ... He Must Have Peanut Butter.

People Should Fact Check. People Shouldn’t Have To Go Through That And Shouldn’t Answer To Innuendos.

When I Say, 'i Don't Care What White People Think,' I Mean That.

When The Child Is Twelve, Your Wife Buys Her A Splendidly Silly Article Of Clothing Called A Training Bra. To Train What? I Never Had A Training Jock. And Believe Me, When I Played Football, I Could Have Used A Training Jock More Than Any Twelve-year-old Needs A Training Bra.

The Secret Of Success Is To Be Like A Duck, Smooth And Unruffled On Top, But Paddling Furiously Underneath.

Even Though Your Kids Will Consistently Do The Exact Opposite Of What You're Telling Them To Do, You Have To Keep Loving Them Just As Much.

Our Children Are Trying To Tell Us Something. And We Are Not Listening.

Anecdote: In A Controversial Way, Comedian And Actor Bill Cosby Sought To Teach His Son The Pain Of Being Lied To. Convinced His Son Had Been Dishonest Regarding An Issue, Cosby Promised That If He Told Him The Truth, He Would Not Hit Him. When His Son Did Confess, Cosby Did Hit Him. Seeing His Son's Shock And Hurt, Cosby Said He Hoped This Lesson Had Deepened His Understanding Of The Anguish Generated By A Sense Betrayal.

Those Who Criticize Our Generation Forget Who Raised It.

My Wife Was A Beautiful Woman Before We Had Children.

In Spite Of The Six Thousand Manuals On Child Raising In The Bookstores, Child Raising Is Still A Dark Continent And No One Really Knows Anything. You Just Need A Lot Of Love And Luck - And, Of Course, Courage.

Dentists Tell You Not To Pick Your Teeth With Any Sharp Metal Object. Then You Sit In Their Chair And The First Thing They Grab Is An Iron Hook.

In Order To Succeed, Your Desire For Success Should Be Greater Than Your Fear Of Failure.

Intellectuals Are People Who Go To Study Things Other People Do Naturally.

Brown Versus The Board Of Education Is No Longer The White Person's Problem.

Board Of Education

Let Us Now Set Forth One Of The Fundamental Truths About Marriage: The Wife Is In Charge.

The Only Thing That You Can Get Into Without A Lot Of Trouble Is A Lot Of Trouble.

In Your 50s, Time Becomes Precious And Must Not Be Wasted. Every Minute Is An Excellent Opportunity For A Good Nap. Happy 50th Birthday!

I've Got A Ferrari. Vroom! I Do 104 From The Garage To The Front Door.

What Is It About Grandparents That Is So Lovely? I'd Like To Say That Grandparents Are God's Gifts To Children.

You Are More Important To Yourself Than You Think You Are.

The Childless Experts On Child Raising Also Bring Tears Of Laughter To My Eyes When They Say, I Love Children Because They're So Honest. There Is Not An Agent In The Cia Or The Kgb Who Knows How To Conceal The Theft Of Food, How To Fake Being Asleep, Or How To Forge A Parent's Signature Like A Child.

That Married Couples Can Live Together Day After Day Is A Miracle That The Vatican Has Overlooked.

Cute Relationship

A New Father Quickly Learns That His Child Invariably Comes To The Bathroom At Precisely The Times When He's In There, As If He Needed Company. The Only Way For This Father To Be Certain Of Bathroom Privacy Is To Shave At The Gas Station.

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