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There's A Very Famous Miyamoto Musashi Quote. "once You Understand The Way Broadly, You Can See It In All Things." The Idea Is Once You Understand What Excellence Is All About, Whether It's In Painting, Or Carpentry Or Martial Arts, That You See How That Excellence Manifests Itself In Any Discipline. I Think That All The Different Things That I Do Enhance All The Other Things That I Do.

-Joe Rogan

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There's A Very Famous

Joe Rogan

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There's A Very Famous Miyamoto Musashi Quote. "once You Understand The Way Broadly, You Can See It In All Things." The Idea Is Once You Understand What Excellence Is All About, Whether It's In Painting, Or Carpentry Or Martial Arts, That You See How That Excellence Manifests Itself In Any Discipline. I Think That All The Different Things That I Do Enhance All The Other Things That I Do.

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If You Can Lie, You Can Act, And If You Can Lie To Crazy Girlfriends, You Can Act Under Pressure.

Someone Else's Success Does Not Equal A Failure For You.

Faggot Never Meant "gay" When I Was A Kid. You Kind Of Knew That You Could Call A Gay Person Faggot If You Were Ignorant, But Nobody Ever Called Someone A Faggot If They Were Gay.

I Had A Sense Of Who I Was Before I Got Famous.

I Definitely Had One Guy Come Up To Me And Ask If I Knew Where To Get Dmt. He Had A Crewcut And He Didn't Look Like He'd Ever Done A Drug In His Life. He Didn't Seem Curious He Seemed Like He Wanted To Get Me To Do Something. Like "you're The Laziest Narc Ever Dude. This Is Ridiculous. What, Do You Think I Bring Drugs Around With Me? Are You Retarded? Why Don't You Go Find Gangsters?"

People For The Most Part Can Smell Lies, At Least I Thought That Until I Saw Audiences Applaud At Carlos Mencia.

Selling Your Life To Sit In A Box And Work For A Machine. An Uncaring Machine That Demands Productivity That Doesn't Understand You And Doesn't Want To Understand You... There's No Natural Behaviour. Everyone Is Wearing Clothes They Don't Want To Wear. Everybody Is Showing Up And Doing Something They Don't Want To Do. They Have No Connection To It. That's The Problem With Our Society.

It's Been One Of The Most Important Tools For Me In Personal Growth For Understanding Myself, How I Am, And What Effect I Do Have On Other People.

["faggot"] Is A Great Word! The Whole Thing About Language Is, It's Supposed To Be Broadcasting Your Intentions. These Are My Intentions And These Words Broadcast My Feelings. If All Of A Sudden You Have Forbidden Words That Doesn't Make The Intent Any Better. It's Just Appeasing Sensitive People.

Reality Really Is Theater. There's No Other Way To Describe It. It's All So Nonsensical, Ridiculous And Chaotic.

I Really Never Thought People Would Think That I Was Funny, I Thought (my Friends) Thought I Was Funny Because I Was Their Friend, But Other People Would Just Think I Was An Asshole. I Was At Least Partly Right.

To Really Appreciate Life You Got To Know You're Going To Die.

I Really Feel Like It's A Travesty To Make A Child Famous. I Really Do.

When You're Standing Around For An Hour Doing Stand Up It's No Big Deal But When You're Standing Around Watching A Show For An Hour - It's A Big Difference. It's Annoying - Your Feet Hurt, Your Back Hurts - It's Just Not The Most Comfortable Way To See Stand-up Comedy.

Cities Are Natural, That's Why They're Everywhere. It's Not Like There's Only One City, And Everybody's Like 'what The F**k Is This?' No, Cities Are All Over The Place. They're Natural. You Know What's Not Natural? You, In The Middle Of The Mountains, In The Middle Of The Winter.

It Never Hurt Lenny Bruce's Career To Get Arrested For Swearing. It Did Back In The Time, But He Broke Those Doors Down By Doing The Stuff That He Believed In.

I Brought Something Back From Those Experiences [with Drugs] Which Made Me Softer, Open To Other Ideas. And I've Learned From Listening To Other People Talk About Their Experiences, From Listening To Bill Hicks Or Reading Terrence Mckenna Or Aldous Huxley And Timothy Leary. But There's Always Some Dumb Cop Out There Who Says "we Don't Need Another Legal Drug And There's Psychological Addiction And Blah Blah Blah."

Listening To Others

No Girl Wants A Secretly Gay Boyfriend, Every Dude Wants A Secretly Gay Girlfriend.

If You Haven't Peed The Bed, You Haven't Taken Enough Chances.

I Don't Really Like Actors. Actors Are Like Terrible Comedians With No Punch Lines. It's All About Them. They Talk About Themselves All The Time. They Bore The Sh - T Out Of You.

Anytime We Go To A New Town I Try To Book A Show. I Literally Know Nothing About The Club.

Like If You All Were Going To Go Out And One Guy's Like "you Know What Man I'm Going To Stay Home I'm Feeling Kind Of Shitty," You Go, "you Faggot." That's What It Means. It's About A Guy Wimping Out, Being A Douchebag...it Has Nothing To Do With Your Sexual Orientation.

Having The Privilege Of Sitting Down And Having 3 Hour Long Uninterrupted Conversations With Hundreds Of Brilliant People Is An Awesome Perspective Enhancer.

Comedy Is A Funny Thing, And It's Really Not Like Any Other Art Form In That It's Very Specialized And Varied In It's Content, But Generic In It's Title. You Would Never Go To A Club Just To See "live Music," You Would Go To A Jazz Club To See Jazz, A Blues Club To See Blues, Etc. But When You Go To See "standup Comedy," If You Don't Know The Performers Material, You Really Don't Have Any Idea What You're Gonna Get.

Haters...are All Failures. It's 100% Across The Board. No One Who Is Truly Brilliant At Anything Is A Hater.

The Number One Reason Why Marijuana Is Illegal Is Because The Pharma Cartel Does Not Want You To Grow Your Own Medicine. The Declaration Of Independence Was Written On Hemp Paper. The First Car Ever Made Ran On Hemp Oil. Hemp Seeds Are Also The Healthiest Food On The Planet With The Highest Protein Content Out Of Any Plant.

When A Ball Goes Into A Net It Only Means Something Because We Decided It Means Something. When Somebody Punches Somebody In The Face It Always Means Something.

The Universe Rewards Calculated Risk And Passion

If You Ever Start Taking Things Too Seriously, Just Remember That We Are Talking Monkeys On An Organic Spaceship Flying Through The Universe.

By Putting Yourself In That Intense Form Of Stress, It Makes Regular Life More Peaceful.

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Kindness Is One Of The Best Gifts You Can Bestow... We Know That Inherently That Feels Great.

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I Do Cagefight Commentary In My Spare Time.

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The Beautiful Thing About Podcasting Is It's Just Talking. It Can Be Funny, Or It Can Be Terrifying. It Can Be Sweet. It Can Be Obnoxious. It Almost Has No Definitive Form. In That Sense It's One Of The Best Ways To Explore An Idea, And Certainly Much Less Limiting Than Trying To Express The Same Idea In Stand Up Comedy. For Some Ideas Stand Up Is Best, But It's Really, Really Nice To Have Podcasts As Well.

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I Don't Care If You're Gay, Black, Chinese, Straight. That Means Nothing To Me. It's All An Illusion.

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Dick Gregory Was A Great Comedian Who Went And Got Arrested, Did Hunger Strikes, Protests. It Never Hurt His Career To Be Outspoken.

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People Say You Can Abuse Marijuana. You Can Abuse Cheeseburgers. Does That Mean We Should Close Burger Kings.

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That's My Only Goal. Surround Myself With Funny People, And Make Sure Everyone Has A Good Time And Works Hard.

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You're Just Part Of The Soup Of The Universe, So Just Try To Enjoy What's Good About It.

The Time You Spend Hating On Someone Robs You Of Your Own Time. You Are Literally Hating On Yourself And You Don't Even Realize It.

The People I Know That Have The Hardest Time Keeping It Together Emotionally Are People That Don't Workout.

One Of The Great Things About Houston Is That They Police Themselves. It's The Way Boston Was In The '80s. No Hacks Or Thieves Are Tolerated In The Community, And That's Huge.

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You Can't Measure What's Inside A Man's Heart.

You're Sort Of Programmed A Certain Way Because Of Your Environment. That's All You Know. But We Don't Have That Anymore Because Of The Internet. Because Of The Internet We're All Communicating With Each Other All Across The Board, So You're Getting Information From People All Around The World, Hitting A Much More Diverse Slice Of Culture.

If You Are The Greatest, Why Would You Go Around Talking About It?

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I'm A Nightclub Comic. That's What I Do. I Work In The Clubs Uncensored Because My Mind Is Uncensored, And Those Are The Thoughts That I Have. I Do The Kind Of Comedy That I Would Enjoy Seeing.

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I'm Really Happy That I've Been Able To Make People Laugh And Distract Them From Their Day To Day Bullshit At A Comedy Show Or Because They Enjoyed One Of My Cds Or Tv Specials, But I Don't Know How Many People Have Actually Had Life Changing Thoughts Because Of It.

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I Was Like, "this Is A New Thing That The Gay People Have Decided? That's The Gayest Thing I've Ever Heard In My Life." You Can't Do That. You Can't Decide That A Word Is Forbidden Now Collectively Amongst Your Group Of Human Beings, That The Word Is A Slanderous Evil Nasty Word About Homosexuals. It's Not, The Word Doesn't Mean That. And Sometimes It's A Good Word To Use In Comedy. That's What Your Friend Has To Realize When He's At A Bar Just Yelling Out The Word.

I Had A Great Time On News Radio, I Got To Make Tons Of Money In Relative Obscurity And Learn A Lot About The Tv Biz And Work On My Standup Act Constantly. It Was A Dream Gig.

If Life Wasn't Real It Would Be The Craziest Psychedelic Trip Ever

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Like Any Tool [drugs] Can Help You Or Hurt You.

The Best Way To Pursue Any Discipline Is The Martial Art Way.

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Once You Understand What Excellence Is All About... You See How That Excellence Manifests Itself In Any Discipline.

I Think It Would Do A Lot Of People Good Just To Realize How Vulnerable They Are.

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Also I Can Come Up With New Bits - People Yell Stuff Out And It's A New Subject Or A Subject That I've Been Thinking About That I Haven't Done Onstage Yet And I'll Just Run With It.

You Do What You're Supposed To Do, But You Have To Be Honest About What They're Doing. When You Do A Comedy Show On A Network The Problem Is There Are Going To Be A Bunch Of People Who Aren't Comedians That Are Going To Tell You What's Funny.

I Realized A Long Time Ago That Instead Of Being Jealous You Can Be Inspired And Appreciative. It Carries More Energy To You.

If You Attach Your Mind To Any Ideology, You're Going To Be On A Road, And That Road May Or May Not Lead You In A Good Direction. But You're Gonna Stay On That Road Because You Are Attached To An Ideology. It Could Be A Terrible Road, But You Stick With It Regardless Of Rational Thinking.

Despite All The Advancements In Science, And All Things About Religion That Are Disproved It Still Marches On. The Bottom Line Is That The Only Real, Absolutely Provable Answers About Life And Our Place In The Universe Are Provided By Science, And Religion Has Been Holding Down Science Since Day One.

The Comedy Store In La, It's A Really Loose Room And It's Really Dark And Creepy And A Great Place To Explore Your Own Thoughts Onstage.

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For Those That Have Said I Seemed Dickish To Some Of The Nuttier Guests On Joe Rogan Questions Everything - Guilty As Charged. As The Season Wore On I Lost My Patience With Some Of Those Folks Unfortunately. I Think I Overdosed On Ridiculous/likely Fake Stories. I Certainly Learned A Lot About The Kind Of People That Invest A Large Portion Of Their Life On Fringe Subjects - They're All White. I Think There's Something Interesting About The Subjects, (ufos, Etc) But The Study Of Them Has Often Been Overrun By Silly Thinking.

I Don't Know Much About The Music Business, But For Just General Advice For Someone Trying To Create Things, As Simple As This Sounds, I Think The Best Thing You Can Do Is Constantly Try To Improve Upon Your Work. Always Focus On That First And Foremost, And Leave Everything Else (marketing, Image) Completely Secondary. Obviously, Easier Said Than Done When You're Trying To Make A Living, But If You Can Move Along Those Lines And Earnestly Try To Make Things That You Really Enjoy It Can Only Benefit You In The Long Run.

I Had Seen Movies Before That That Had Made Me Laugh, But I Had Never Seen Anything Even Remotely Close To As Funny As Richard Pryor Was, Just Standing There Talking.

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Build Confidence And Momentum With Each Good Decision You Make From Here On Out And Choose To Be Inspired.

Decisions You Make

Greatness And Madness Are Next Door Neighbours; And They Borrow Each Other's Sugar. You Don't Get There Without The Other.

I Thought Eventually I'd Have A Family And I Really Didn't Want To Be A Loser Like That Guy In His 40s Still Shopping His Band's Shitty Demo Tapes Around.

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If I Could Make The Same Amount Of Money Doing Standup It Would Be No Contest. The Problem Is That If You Do Make That Kind Of Money Doing Standup, It's Not In Clubs, It's In Big Auditoriums And Large Venues, And I Really Think Something Is Lost When You Do Standup For A Big Crowd.

People Love To See People Fall.

I Think Stand Is Better Now Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's The Greatest Time Ever To Do Standup Comedy.

Houston People Are Way Cool. They're Smart, They Know How To Have A Good Time, And They Have The Hottest Chicks On The Planet There.

The Misconception Is That Standup Comics Are Always On. I Don't Know Any Really Funny Comics That Are Annoying And Constantly Trying To Be Funny All The Time.

When Women Go To See Men Strip, We Never Accuse You Of Hating Men.

If The World Was An Etch-a-sketch, Glaciers Are The Big Shake.

If I Could, I Would Live In Houston, And I Would Encourage Any Comic Starting Out Looking For A Good Place To Develop To Move There.

I've Actually Been Doing Stand Up For More Than 20 Years. I Started In 1988. It's Almost 30 Years! Which Is Crazy.

I've Been Involved In Mixed Martial Arts Since 1997 When I First Started Working For The Ufc.

Excellence In Anything Increases Your Potential In Everything.

We Have To Start Treating Each Other As If We Are Treating Ourselves Living Another Life.

What's Interesting About Science Is That We're Constantly Discovering New Things About The Universe, About Ourselves, About Our Bodies, About Diseases, About The Possibilities Of The Future. It's Amazing. Science Is One Of The Coolest Things About Being A Human Being - Without A Doubt.

I Prefer Older People To College Kids [as Audience] For The Most Part. I Want People With Life Experience, People That Understand Where I'm Coming From.

Martial Arts Are A Vehicle For Developing Your Human Potential.

Human Potential

The People Who Could Most Benefit From The Self-reflective Ego-dissolving Qualities Of Cannabis Are The Ones That Want It To Be Illegal.

Have You Ever Talked To Someone, And You're Not Even Really Talking To Them? Actors Are The Worst For That.

I Think That One Of The Reasons Why People Look Towards The End Of Humanity Is That People Are Afraid To Die Alone. If You Die Alone, The People You Love Will Miss You, Or If They Die, You Miss Them - The Sorrow Is Inevitable. When You Truly Love Someone, The Thought Of Losing Them Forever Is Horrible.

I Always Do That At The End Of Shows, Like A Q&a Session. First Of All It Lets People Know That This Isn't Some Preprogrammed, Press-play Show Where I Have To Say The Exact Same Words In The Exact Same Order. That's Part Of The Thing With Live Comedy Is That People Like The Fun Aspect Of It And I Enjoy The Taking Questions Part.

Life Is Strange. You Keep Moving And Keep Growing. Before You Know It, You Look Back And Think, "what Was That?"

A Comic, All They Have To Do Is, If You Do Something Funny In A Comedy Club And You Put It Up On You Tube, It Might Get A Million Hits! All It Needs To Do Is Resonate With One Person Who Sends It To Their Friends, Who Sends It To Other People, And Before You Know It, It Has Spread Virally And Boom! All Of A Sudden That Person Has A Name.

A Lot Of Times, You Beat A Person Who Beat A Person Who Can Beat You. I Mean, It Doesn't Make Any Sense.

The Planet's Spinning A Thousand Miles An Hour Around This Gigantic Nuclear Explosion While These People Roll These Machines With Rubber Tires Over This Hard Surface That We've Laid Down Over The Planet So That We Can Easily Move Ourselves Back And Forth.

This Country Has A Mental Health Problem Disguised As A Gun Problem, And A Tyranny Problem Disguised As A Security Problem.

When You're Jealous, Especially Of Someone Else's Art Or Creations You Automatically Put Up These Selfish Walls That Reinforce Your Stupid Ideas. It's Hard To Pull Those Walls Down And Look At What You're Hiding. Look At Your Own Weakness And Realize That The Jealousy Came From Knowing That You're Intimidated By Someone Else's Work, And That When You Compare It To Your Own, You Fall Short.

I Want To Make Sure That Everything That I'm Creating, I'm Creating It So Other People Get Enjoyment Out Of It. And That's The Reward That You Get For That.

Every Single Religion That Has Ever Been On The Face Of The Earth, Ever, Is A Cult. That’s All They Are.

It's A Weird Experience When You're Just Trying To Talk Openly About How You Think Psychedelic Drugs And Marijuana Are Beneficial, Or A Lot Of Different Drugs, Especially Plant-based Ones, Can Be Beneficial. Especially Those Ones That Have Some Connection To Organic Life, I Feel Like You Can Learn Something From Them, From Mushrooms, From Peyote, From Marijuana. They Can Be Used As A Tool.

You Could Smell My Ass From Mars.

The Audience Changes Every Night. You're The Same Person. You Have To Speak Your Mind And Do The Stuff That You Think Is Funny And Makes You Laugh.

Speak Your Mind

There's A Direct Correlation Between Positive Energy And Positive Results.

Positive Energy

I Love Existing In Pre Big Bang Conditions.

People For The Most Part Can Smell Lies.

When Someone Comes Along And Expresses Him Or Herself As Freely As They Think, People Flock To It. They Enjoy It.

After This Whole Acting Thing Is Over And Done, You Eventually Have To Be Human. Some People Are Never Human. It's Very Weird.

There's A Confidence And A Mental Toughness That Comes From The Very Highest Level Of Competition, Whatever The Sport Is. Whether It's Boxing Or Wrestling, Or Whatever.

You Are One Miniscule Piece Of A Never-ending Cycle. In Fact, You're Not Even A Piece. You're Just A Holder For Billions And Billions Of Other Pieces. Whether That's Organic Components, Living Organisms Inside Your Body, Bacteria Or Whatever It Is, You're Just Part Of The Soup Of The Universe, So Just Try To Enjoy What's Good About It.

There's A Never-ending Ocean Of Techniques Out There.

I Think Comedy Because Of The Internet It Has A Bigger Audience, A Bigger Fan Base. It Has Fans That Understand Comedy More Than Any Generation Before Because There Is More Guys Like You, More Guys Like Me, More Guys Like Louie Ck Who Talks About It A Lot. When You Get A Chance To See Perspective That I Don't Think You Ever Got To See Before.

Now Obviously Popularity Isn't Everything When It Comes To Stand Up Comedy, But The Art Form Itself Is Better Today Than It Ever Has Before. I Think There Are More Great Comics. I Think The Standard Is Higher. The Critical Analysis Is A Little Harsher, But That Is Also Good. Maybe People Have A Higher Standard Than Before, Maybe They Are A Little More Judgmental, A Little More Brutal, That Makes People Work Harder. It Makes The Stand Up Better.

So Many Times I've Done A Cd, And Then The Week After I Record It, I've Got This New Tagline That's Killer. And It Makes The Whole Bit Better. It Happens All The Time. But That's Just The Process Of Comedy.

Houston Alexander Is For Real!

So Instead Of Investing Your Time In A Passion, You’ve Sold Your Life To Work For An Uncaring Machine That Doesn’t Understand You. That’s The Problem With Our Society. And What’s The Reward? Go Home And Get A Big Tv.

Investing Your Time

I Don`t Like People That Make Their Living Talking About Bullshit, And You See Them In Many Shows That Are Made On The Same Subject. When You Go Looking At Ufos Or Bigfoot Or What-have-you, There's Just Nothing There.

It's Not Necessarily A Brave Thing, People Talk About What They Think About. There's People Out There Who Love To Talk About Politics Or Where They Think The Countries Headed. I Don't Talk About That I Talk About...things That Are A Little Trippier.

Aspire To Be The Man You Pretend To Be When You're Trying To Get Laid.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

On My Left Knee I Have A Long Scar From An Acl Operation. I've Had Both Knees Reconstructed.

Maybe We Can Combine 2 Things That Everybody Loves. Helping Out The Poor And Blow Jobs.

People Do Always Try To Smoke Pot With Me. But I Think Some Of Those People Are Cops.

I Really Never Had Any Ambitions To Be A Standup Comic. I Was Talked Into It By Guys That I Used To Work Out With.

We're Constantly Re-evaluating The Potential For Life. We're Finding It Where We Didn't Think It Could Exist, Such As Volcanic Vents And Other Extreme Conditions Like Under Arctic Ice. We're Finding Life In These Incredibly Harsh And Dynamic Conditions, So We're Having To Re-evaluate Our Own Ideas Of What's Possible On This Planet Alone.

Teaching Someone That Doesn't Know Something Forces You To Think About Almost Every Single Aspect Of It, Including Parts Of It That You Could Sort Of Take For Granted.

I Think There Is More Comedians Now Than Ever, More Venues Now Than Ever. There Are Stand-ups Who Live In Towns Where They Don't Have Many Comedy Clubs Where They Are Organizing More Comedy Nights In Bars. I Just Think This Is A Fantastic Time For Stand Up.

When I Started Out I Was Definitely More Traditional. It Was 1988. Everyone Was Doing The Jerry Seinfeld.

Your Body's Really Only Meant To Compete At The Highest Levels Of Combat Sports For A Few Years.

I Always Try To Look At Conflicts From As Many Different Angles As Is Humanly Possible, And In A Lot Of Ways There Is No One Answer.

I See Martial Arts As Moving Forms Of Meditation. When You're Sparring Or Drilling Techniques, You Can't Think Of Anything Else.

The Only Time I Commit To Conspiracy Theories Is When Something Way Retarded Happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald Acting Alone.

My Act Is So Completely And Totally Uncensored That The Only Way I Could Really Pull It Off Is If I Treat The Audience Like They're My Best Friends.

The Comics I Hate Are Thieves. Nothing's More Disgusting Than A Guy Who Steals Another Person's Ideas And Tries To Claim Them As His Own.

I Like La Because It Has A Giant Supply Of Great Comedians.

I Never In My Wildest Imagination Dreamed That I Would Somehow Become A Sports Commentator.

I Talk So Much About Sex That Girls Just Want To Meet Me.

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