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I Definitely Had One Guy Come Up To Me And Ask If I Knew Where To Get Dmt. He Had A Crewcut And He Didn't Look Like He'd Ever Done A Drug In His Life. He Didn't Seem Curious He Seemed Like He Wanted To Get Me To Do Something. Like "you're The Laziest Narc Ever Dude. This Is Ridiculous. What, Do You Think I Bring Drugs Around With Me? Are You Retarded? Why Don't You Go Find Gangsters?"

-Joe Rogan

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I Definitely Had One

Joe Rogan

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I Definitely Had One Guy Come Up To Me And Ask If I Knew Where To Get Dmt. He Had A Crewcut And He Didn't Look Like He'd Ever Done A Drug In His Life. He Didn't Seem Curious He Seemed Like He Wanted To Get Me To Do Something. Like "you're The Laziest Narc Ever Dude. This Is Ridiculous. What, Do You Think I Bring Drugs Around With Me? Are You Retarded? Why Don't You Go Find Gangsters?"

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It's Not Necessarily A Brave Thing, People Talk About What They Think About. There's People Out There Who Love To Talk About Politics Or Where They Think The Countries Headed. I Don't Talk About That I Talk About...things That Are A Little Trippier.

Because I Have A Girlfriend, I Try And Take The Straight And Narrow Path, Which Is Good Because It Prevents Vd.

There's Only 2 Reasons That You Hate Gay Marriage; 1. You're Dumb, Or 2. You're Secretly Worried That Dicks Are Delicious.

I Really Never Thought People Would Think That I Was Funny, I Thought (my Friends) Thought I Was Funny Because I Was Their Friend, But Other People Would Just Think I Was An Asshole. I Was At Least Partly Right.

I Have This Thing Built Into My Contract That The Club Has To Put Up A Sign That Says My Act "contains The Strongest Language And Material Content Imaginable," But, Believe It Or Not, I Still Get Complaints. People Want You To Be What They Want You To Be. If They See You On Tv And That's What They Like, They Want You To Be Exactly Like That When They See You Live. And If You're Not, Some Of Them Get Upset.

There's A Classic Story I Tell About When I Did The Man Show About The Retarded Conversations That You Have With The Executive Producers And The Network.

The Beautiful Thing About Podcasting Is It's Just Talking. It Can Be Funny, Or It Can Be Terrifying. It Can Be Sweet. It Can Be Obnoxious. It Almost Has No Definitive Form. In That Sense It's One Of The Best Ways To Explore An Idea, And Certainly Much Less Limiting Than Trying To Express The Same Idea In Stand Up Comedy. For Some Ideas Stand Up Is Best, But It's Really, Really Nice To Have Podcasts As Well.

We Live In A Society That Makes It Really Easy For These Pussies To Get By.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

I Really Never Had Any Ambitions To Be A Standup Comic. I Was Talked Into It By Guys That I Used To Work Out With.

I've Been Involved In Mixed Martial Arts Since 1997 When I First Started Working For The Ufc.

That's My Only Goal. Surround Myself With Funny People, And Make Sure Everyone Has A Good Time And Works Hard.

The Comics I Hate Are Thieves. Nothing's More Disgusting Than A Guy Who Steals Another Person's Ideas And Tries To Claim Them As His Own.

Greatness And Madness Are Next Door Neighbours; And They Borrow Each Other's Sugar. You Don't Get There Without The Other.

Reality Really Is Theater. There's No Other Way To Describe It. It's All So Nonsensical, Ridiculous And Chaotic.

Maybe We Can Combine 2 Things That Everybody Loves. Helping Out The Poor And Blow Jobs.

The Universe Rewards Calculated Risk And Passion

A Unicorn Is A Donkey From The Future

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