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I Brought Something Back From Those Experiences [with Drugs] Which Made Me Softer, Open To Other Ideas. And I've Learned From Listening To Other People Talk About Their Experiences, From Listening To Bill Hicks Or Reading Terrence Mckenna Or Aldous Huxley And Timothy Leary. But There's Always Some Dumb Cop Out There Who Says "we Don't Need Another Legal Drug And There's Psychological Addiction And Blah Blah Blah."

-Joe Rogan

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I Brought Something Back

Joe Rogan

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I Brought Something Back From Those Experiences [with Drugs] Which Made Me Softer, Open To Other Ideas. And I've Learned From Listening To Other People Talk About Their Experiences, From Listening To Bill Hicks Or Reading Terrence Mckenna Or Aldous Huxley And Timothy Leary. But There's Always Some Dumb Cop Out There Who Says "we Don't Need Another Legal Drug And There's Psychological Addiction And Blah Blah Blah."

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Listening To Others

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The Quicker We All Realize That We've Been Taught How To Live Life By People That Were Operating On The Momentum Of An Ignorant Past The Quicker We Can Move To A Global Ethic Of Community That Doesn't Value Invented Borders Or The Monopolization Of Natural Resources, But Rather The Goal Of A Happier More Loving Humanity.

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Have You Ever Talked To Someone, And You're Not Even Really Talking To Them? Actors Are The Worst For That.

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When I First Went Onstage I Even Had A Suit Jacket On With The Sleeves Rolled Up Because That's What I Saw On Tv Or At The Improv That Everybody Did.

Faggot Never Meant "gay" When I Was A Kid. You Kind Of Knew That You Could Call A Gay Person Faggot If You Were Ignorant, But Nobody Ever Called Someone A Faggot If They Were Gay.

Comedy Shows In D.c. Are So Much Fun. I Think Because Of The Intense Area That Is Connected To Politics That People Need, They Need Their Down Time. D.c. Audiences Are Almost Universally Praised By Comedians.

I Had A Sense Of Who I Was Before I Got Famous.

I Never In My Wildest Imagination Dreamed That I Would Somehow Become A Sports Commentator.

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I Brought Something Back From Those Experiences [with Drugs] Which Made Me Softer, Open To Other Ideas. And I've Learned From Listening To Other People Talk About Their Experiences, From Listening To Bill Hicks Or Reading Terrence Mckenna Or Aldous Huxley And Timothy Leary. But There's Always Some Dumb Cop Out There Who Says "we Don't Need Another Legal Drug And There's Psychological Addiction And Blah Blah Blah."

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If You're Dumb Enough To Do Crack, You're Supposed To Die. It's Evolution.

Not All Comedy Clubs Or Situations Are Ideal, Especially When You're First Coming Up And I Think That's Good For You. Eventually You Get To Express Your Real Personality.

I Had Seen Movies Before That That Had Made Me Laugh, But I Had Never Seen Anything Even Remotely Close To As Funny As Richard Pryor Was, Just Standing There Talking.

So Instead Of Investing Your Time In A Passion, You’ve Sold Your Life To Work For An Uncaring Machine That Doesn’t Understand You. That’s The Problem With Our Society. And What’s The Reward? Go Home And Get A Big Tv.

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Any Comic Like Myself Owes Everything He Has To Lenny Bruce. He Was The Originator. The Godfather Of Uncensored American Stand-up Is Clearly Lenny Bruce.

I Do Cagefight Commentary In My Spare Time.

You Want To Talk About The Word Faggot Because It Really Offends You? Well You're A Douchebag.

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I Realized A Long Time Ago That Instead Of Being Jealous You Can Be Inspired And Appreciative. It Carries More Energy To You.

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If You Are The Greatest, Why Would You Go Around Talking About It?

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I Like La Because It Has A Giant Supply Of Great Comedians.

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I’m Afraid Of Heights. Not Unreasonably, But Rationally Afraid Of Heights. I Think Everyone Is.

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Human Potential

I'm A Huge Groucho Fan. There Were Some Great Comic Minds That Would Transfer Into Any Generation, And Groucho Is Certainly One Of Them.

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I Never Want To Compromise My Act Just To Get A Laugh.

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The Best Way To Pursue Any Discipline Is The Martial Art Way.

Comedy Is Really Not Like Any Other Art Form In That It's Very Specialized And Varied In It's Content, But Generic In It's Title.

When A Ball Goes Into A Net It Only Means Something Because We Decided It Means Something. When Somebody Punches Somebody In The Face It Always Means Something.

Although Not Considered A Martial Art, Boxing Is Really A Martial Art. It's A Very Limited Martial Art As Long As You Agree To Just Box... But In An Actual Physical Fight Against Someone Who's Just A Wrestler, You're Going To Get Killed.

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That's My Only Goal. Surround Myself With Funny People, And Make Sure Everyone Has A Good Time And Works Hard.

Comedy Is A Funny Thing, And It's Really Not Like Any Other Art Form In That It's Very Specialized And Varied In It's Content, But Generic In It's Title. You Would Never Go To A Club Just To See "live Music," You Would Go To A Jazz Club To See Jazz, A Blues Club To See Blues, Etc. But When You Go To See "standup Comedy," If You Don't Know The Performers Material, You Really Don't Have Any Idea What You're Gonna Get.

People Say You Can Abuse Marijuana. You Can Abuse Cheeseburgers. Does That Mean We Should Close Burger Kings.

You Are One Miniscule Piece Of A Never-ending Cycle. In Fact, You're Not Even A Piece. You're Just A Holder For Billions And Billions Of Other Pieces. Whether That's Organic Components, Living Organisms Inside Your Body, Bacteria Or Whatever It Is, You're Just Part Of The Soup Of The Universe, So Just Try To Enjoy What's Good About It.

Life Is Strange. You Keep Moving And Keep Growing. Before You Know It, You Look Back And Think, "what Was That?"

Live Your Life Like You're The Hero In Your Movie And Right Now.

The Beautiful Thing About Podcasting Is It's Just Talking. It Can Be Funny, Or It Can Be Terrifying. It Can Be Sweet. It Can Be Obnoxious. It Almost Has No Definitive Form. In That Sense It's One Of The Best Ways To Explore An Idea, And Certainly Much Less Limiting Than Trying To Express The Same Idea In Stand Up Comedy. For Some Ideas Stand Up Is Best, But It's Really, Really Nice To Have Podcasts As Well.

People For The Most Part Can Smell Lies.

A Comic, All They Have To Do Is, If You Do Something Funny In A Comedy Club And You Put It Up On You Tube, It Might Get A Million Hits! All It Needs To Do Is Resonate With One Person Who Sends It To Their Friends, Who Sends It To Other People, And Before You Know It, It Has Spread Virally And Boom! All Of A Sudden That Person Has A Name.

I Love Coming To D.c. I Think It's A Very Unusual City. It's So Fascinating That It's This Weird Place That Everything Thinks Of As The Capital Of The Country, There Is So Much International Business, Political Stuff That Is Connected To That Part Of The Country That It Has A Very Charred Atmosphere.

No Matter How Civilized We Are And How Much Society Has Curbed Violent Behavior. Human Beings Still Have The Same Genes They Had 10,000 Years Ago. Our Bodies Are Designed To Have A Certain Amount Of Physical Stress And Violence In Them. We're Designed To Run From Jaguars And Fight To Defend Our Territory.

Be The Hero Of Your Own Story.

Suspense Novels

We Live In A Society That Makes It Really Easy For These Pussies To Get By.

So Many Times I've Done A Cd, And Then The Week After I Record It, I've Got This New Tagline That's Killer. And It Makes The Whole Bit Better. It Happens All The Time. But That's Just The Process Of Comedy.

It's Been One Of The Most Important Tools For Me In Personal Growth For Understanding Myself, How I Am, And What Effect I Do Have On Other People.

There's Only 2 Reasons That You Hate Gay Marriage; 1. You're Dumb, Or 2. You're Secretly Worried That Dicks Are Delicious.

This Country Has A Mental Health Problem Disguised As A Gun Problem, And A Tyranny Problem Disguised As A Security Problem.

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I Don't Really Like Actors. Actors Are Like Terrible Comedians With No Punch Lines. It's All About Them. They Talk About Themselves All The Time. They Bore The Sh - T Out Of You.

The Planet's Spinning A Thousand Miles An Hour Around This Gigantic Nuclear Explosion While These People Roll These Machines With Rubber Tires Over This Hard Surface That We've Laid Down Over The Planet So That We Can Easily Move Ourselves Back And Forth.

Choose To Be Inspired.

I See Martial Arts As Moving Forms Of Meditation. When You're Sparring Or Drilling Techniques, You Can't Think Of Anything Else.

I Love Existing In Pre Big Bang Conditions.

The Number One Reason Why Marijuana Is Illegal Is Because The Pharma Cartel Does Not Want You To Grow Your Own Medicine. The Declaration Of Independence Was Written On Hemp Paper. The First Car Ever Made Ran On Hemp Oil. Hemp Seeds Are Also The Healthiest Food On The Planet With The Highest Protein Content Out Of Any Plant.

Omigawa Is Moving Forward Like A Karate Robot

It's A Very Strange Thing When You Make Nature Illegal.

Anytime We Go To A New Town I Try To Book A Show. I Literally Know Nothing About The Club.

If You Haven't Peed The Bed, You Haven't Taken Enough Chances.

For Many People The Reason Why They're Idiots Is Not Necessarily That Their Brain Doesn't Work Well, It's That They Got In A Terrible Pattern.

You Can't Measure What's Inside A Man's Heart.

["faggot"] Is A Great Word! The Whole Thing About Language Is, It's Supposed To Be Broadcasting Your Intentions. These Are My Intentions And These Words Broadcast My Feelings. If All Of A Sudden You Have Forbidden Words That Doesn't Make The Intent Any Better. It's Just Appeasing Sensitive People.

There's A Classic Story I Tell About When I Did The Man Show About The Retarded Conversations That You Have With The Executive Producers And The Network.

Never Stay In A Bad Marriage, And Don't Hang Around With Psycho Coke Fiends.

I've Been Inspired By A Shitload Of People In My Life So If There's Ever Anybody That I Can Inspire, To Me That's A Huge Gift. To Be Able To Turn That Back Around.

What's Interesting About Science Is That We're Constantly Discovering New Things About The Universe, About Ourselves, About Our Bodies, About Diseases, About The Possibilities Of The Future. It's Amazing. Science Is One Of The Coolest Things About Being A Human Being - Without A Doubt.

The People Who Could Most Benefit From The Self-reflective Ego-dissolving Qualities Of Cannabis Are The Ones That Want It To Be Illegal.

People Do Always Try To Smoke Pot With Me. But I Think Some Of Those People Are Cops.

The Time You Spend Hating On Someone Robs You Of Your Own Time. You Are Literally Hating On Yourself And You Don't Even Realize It.

Excellence In Anything Increases Your Potential In Everything.

One Of The Things That Happened Is I Did A Lot Of Shitty Gigs. When You Do A Bunch Of Shitty Bar Gigs You Have To Get Used To People Yelling At You, You're Used To Thinking On The Fly, To Dealing With Weird Situations.

There's A Very Famous Miyamoto Musashi Quote. "once You Understand The Way Broadly, You Can See It In All Things." The Idea Is Once You Understand What Excellence Is All About, Whether It's In Painting, Or Carpentry Or Martial Arts, That You See How That Excellence Manifests Itself In Any Discipline. I Think That All The Different Things That I Do Enhance All The Other Things That I Do.

By Putting Yourself In That Intense Form Of Stress, It Makes Regular Life More Peaceful.

One Of The Great Things About Houston Is That They Police Themselves. It's The Way Boston Was In The '80s. No Hacks Or Thieves Are Tolerated In The Community, And That's Huge.

No Girl Wants A Secretly Gay Boyfriend, Every Dude Wants A Secretly Gay Girlfriend.

We're Constantly Re-evaluating The Potential For Life. We're Finding It Where We Didn't Think It Could Exist, Such As Volcanic Vents And Other Extreme Conditions Like Under Arctic Ice. We're Finding Life In These Incredibly Harsh And Dynamic Conditions, So We're Having To Re-evaluate Our Own Ideas Of What's Possible On This Planet Alone.

I Have This Thing Built Into My Contract That The Club Has To Put Up A Sign That Says My Act "contains The Strongest Language And Material Content Imaginable," But, Believe It Or Not, I Still Get Complaints. People Want You To Be What They Want You To Be. If They See You On Tv And That's What They Like, They Want You To Be Exactly Like That When They See You Live. And If You're Not, Some Of Them Get Upset.

I Think Stand Is Better Now Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's The Greatest Time Ever To Do Standup Comedy.

I Think It Would Do A Lot Of People Good Just To Realize How Vulnerable They Are.

Once You Understand What Excellence Is All About... You See How That Excellence Manifests Itself In Any Discipline.

The Mind Is The Most Important Thing Of The Big Picture And No One Has A Stronger Mindset Than Amateur Wrestlers.

If You Ever Start Taking Things Too Seriously, Just Remember That We Are Talking Monkeys On An Organic Spaceship Flying Through The Universe.

What People Like Are Things To Laugh At. Funny Shows. It's All In The Execution, The Writing And The Characters, Not The Setting. And The Writing And The Execution And The Characters Are Great On (everybody Loves Raymond).

When Someone Comes Along And Expresses Him Or Herself As Freely As They Think, People Flock To It. They Enjoy It.

I Think There Is More Comedians Now Than Ever, More Venues Now Than Ever. There Are Stand-ups Who Live In Towns Where They Don't Have Many Comedy Clubs Where They Are Organizing More Comedy Nights In Bars. I Just Think This Is A Fantastic Time For Stand Up.

I Don't Care If You're Gay, Black, Chinese, Straight. That Means Nothing To Me. It's All An Illusion.

There's A Confidence And A Mental Toughness That Comes From The Very Highest Level Of Competition, Whatever The Sport Is. Whether It's Boxing Or Wrestling, Or Whatever.

I Always Try To Look At Conflicts From As Many Different Angles As Is Humanly Possible, And In A Lot Of Ways There Is No One Answer.

Like If You All Were Going To Go Out And One Guy's Like "you Know What Man I'm Going To Stay Home I'm Feeling Kind Of Shitty," You Go, "you Faggot." That's What It Means. It's About A Guy Wimping Out, Being A Douchebag...it Has Nothing To Do With Your Sexual Orientation.

I Really Feel Like It's A Travesty To Make A Child Famous. I Really Do.

The Two Things I Understand Best Are Stand-up Comedy And Martial Arts. And Those Things Require An Ultimate Grasp Of The Truth. You Have To Be Objective About Your Skills And Abilities To Compete In Both.

If You Attach Your Mind To Any Ideology, You're Going To Be On A Road, And That Road May Or May Not Lead You In A Good Direction. But You're Gonna Stay On That Road Because You Are Attached To An Ideology. It Could Be A Terrible Road, But You Stick With It Regardless Of Rational Thinking.

Also I Can Come Up With New Bits - People Yell Stuff Out And It's A New Subject Or A Subject That I've Been Thinking About That I Haven't Done Onstage Yet And I'll Just Run With It.

In Order To Be Truly Great At Something You Have To Give Into A Certain Amount Of Madness.

Every Single Religion That Has Ever Been On The Face Of The Earth, Ever, Is A Cult. That’s All They Are.

If I Could, I Would Live In Houston, And I Would Encourage Any Comic Starting Out Looking For A Good Place To Develop To Move There.

I Read The Things That Scientists Have Figured Out, And Apply What They Say Is Beneficial, But At The End Of The Day I'm The Wrong Person To Get Unchallenged Nutritional Advice From.

The End Of The Day

Apartment Living Is Tough Action. Just The Whole Idea That You Share A Washer And Dryer Always Freaked Me Out.

My Act Is So Completely And Totally Uncensored That The Only Way I Could Really Pull It Off Is If I Treat The Audience Like They're My Best Friends.

Maybe We Can Combine 2 Things That Everybody Loves. Helping Out The Poor And Blow Jobs.

If I Could Make The Same Amount Of Money Doing Standup It Would Be No Contest. The Problem Is That If You Do Make That Kind Of Money Doing Standup, It's Not In Clubs, It's In Big Auditoriums And Large Venues, And I Really Think Something Is Lost When You Do Standup For A Big Crowd.

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It's A Weird Experience When You're Just Trying To Talk Openly About How You Think Psychedelic Drugs And Marijuana Are Beneficial, Or A Lot Of Different Drugs, Especially Plant-based Ones, Can Be Beneficial. Especially Those Ones That Have Some Connection To Organic Life, I Feel Like You Can Learn Something From Them, From Mushrooms, From Peyote, From Marijuana. They Can Be Used As A Tool.

I Was Like, "this Is A New Thing That The Gay People Have Decided? That's The Gayest Thing I've Ever Heard In My Life." You Can't Do That. You Can't Decide That A Word Is Forbidden Now Collectively Amongst Your Group Of Human Beings, That The Word Is A Slanderous Evil Nasty Word About Homosexuals. It's Not, The Word Doesn't Mean That. And Sometimes It's A Good Word To Use In Comedy. That's What Your Friend Has To Realize When He's At A Bar Just Yelling Out The Word.

We Have To Start Treating Each Other As If We Are Treating Ourselves Living Another Life.

Build Confidence And Momentum With Each Good Decision You Make From Here On Out And Choose To Be Inspired.

Decisions You Make

I've Done Jiujitsu A Huge Chunk Of My Life, And I Try To Spend A Lot Of Time Educating People On The Nuances, The Subtleness Of The Ground Game. It's A Big Part Of Mixed Martial Arts.

The Audience Changes Every Night. You're The Same Person. You Have To Speak Your Mind And Do The Stuff That You Think Is Funny And Makes You Laugh.

Speak Your Mind

You Do What You're Supposed To Do, But You Have To Be Honest About What They're Doing. When You Do A Comedy Show On A Network The Problem Is There Are Going To Be A Bunch Of People Who Aren't Comedians That Are Going To Tell You What's Funny.

Like Any Tool [drugs] Can Help You Or Hurt You.

Someone Else's Success Does Not Equal A Failure For You.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

I Did A Lot Of Crazy Gigs Man. I Hosted A Jack And Jill Strip Club In Woonsocket Rhode Island Which Is This Tiny Depressing Fishing Town, All Portuguese Immigrants And It's Just A Humorless, Dark Town.

It Never Hurt Lenny Bruce's Career To Get Arrested For Swearing. It Did Back In The Time, But He Broke Those Doors Down By Doing The Stuff That He Believed In.

If You Can Lie, You Can Act, And If You Can Lie To Crazy Girlfriends, You Can Act Under Pressure.

When You're Standing Around For An Hour Doing Stand Up It's No Big Deal But When You're Standing Around Watching A Show For An Hour - It's A Big Difference. It's Annoying - Your Feet Hurt, Your Back Hurts - It's Just Not The Most Comfortable Way To See Stand-up Comedy.

I've Actually Been Doing Stand Up For More Than 20 Years. I Started In 1988. It's Almost 30 Years! Which Is Crazy.

When Women Go To See Men Strip, We Never Accuse You Of Hating Men.

Faith Itself Is A Horrible Mechanism That Stunts The Growth Of Ideas. It Also Stunts The Act Of Questioning, And It Does This By Pushing The Idea That You Have To Have Faith - And That Nothing Has To Be Proven.

Sometimes Faggot Is The Right Word. There's A Trend In This Country To Avoid Words: "we Can't Say That One Anymore It's Offensive."

I Prefer Older People To College Kids [as Audience] For The Most Part. I Want People With Life Experience, People That Understand Where I'm Coming From.

Well You See, Brazilian Jiujitsu Blackbelts Have A Blackbelt In...... Brazilian Jiujitsu

I Want To Make Sure That Everything That I'm Creating, I'm Creating It So Other People Get Enjoyment Out Of It. And That's The Reward That You Get For That.

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