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For Those That Have Said I Seemed Dickish To Some Of The Nuttier Guests On Joe Rogan Questions Everything - Guilty As Charged. As The Season Wore On I Lost My Patience With Some Of Those Folks Unfortunately. I Think I Overdosed On Ridiculous/likely Fake Stories. I Certainly Learned A Lot About The Kind Of People That Invest A Large Portion Of Their Life On Fringe Subjects - They're All White. I Think There's Something Interesting About The Subjects, (ufos, Etc) But The Study Of Them Has Often Been Overrun By Silly Thinking.

-Joe Rogan

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For Those That Have

Joe Rogan

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For Those That Have Said I Seemed Dickish To Some Of The Nuttier Guests On Joe Rogan Questions Everything - Guilty As Charged. As The Season Wore On I Lost My Patience With Some Of Those Folks Unfortunately. I Think I Overdosed On Ridiculous/likely Fake Stories. I Certainly Learned A Lot About The Kind Of People That Invest A Large Portion Of Their Life On Fringe Subjects - They're All White. I Think There's Something Interesting About The Subjects, (ufos, Etc) But The Study Of Them Has Often Been Overrun By Silly Thinking.

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Sometimes Faggot Is The Right Word. There's A Trend In This Country To Avoid Words: "we Can't Say That One Anymore It's Offensive."

Excellence In Anything Increases Your Potential In Everything.

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I Always Do That At The End Of Shows, Like A Q&a Session. First Of All It Lets People Know That This Isn't Some Preprogrammed, Press-play Show Where I Have To Say The Exact Same Words In The Exact Same Order. That's Part Of The Thing With Live Comedy Is That People Like The Fun Aspect Of It And I Enjoy The Taking Questions Part.

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Despite All The Advancements In Science, And All Things About Religion That Are Disproved It Still Marches On. The Bottom Line Is That The Only Real, Absolutely Provable Answers About Life And Our Place In The Universe Are Provided By Science, And Religion Has Been Holding Down Science Since Day One.

I Love Coming To D.c. I Think It's A Very Unusual City. It's So Fascinating That It's This Weird Place That Everything Thinks Of As The Capital Of The Country, There Is So Much International Business, Political Stuff That Is Connected To That Part Of The Country That It Has A Very Charred Atmosphere.

Well You See, Brazilian Jiujitsu Blackbelts Have A Blackbelt In...... Brazilian Jiujitsu

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I See Martial Arts As Moving Forms Of Meditation. When You're Sparring Or Drilling Techniques, You Can't Think Of Anything Else.

Aspire To Be The Man You Pretend To Be When You're Trying To Get Laid.

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I Don't Really Like Actors. Actors Are Like Terrible Comedians With No Punch Lines. It's All About Them. They Talk About Themselves All The Time. They Bore The Sh - T Out Of You.

There's A Confidence And A Mental Toughness That Comes From The Very Highest Level Of Competition, Whatever The Sport Is. Whether It's Boxing Or Wrestling, Or Whatever.

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I Think Stand Is Better Now Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's The Greatest Time Ever To Do Standup Comedy.

Jiu-jitsu Has Been One Of The Most Valuable Tools I've Ever Had In My Life.

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We're Constantly Re-evaluating The Potential For Life. We're Finding It Where We Didn't Think It Could Exist, Such As Volcanic Vents And Other Extreme Conditions Like Under Arctic Ice. We're Finding Life In These Incredibly Harsh And Dynamic Conditions, So We're Having To Re-evaluate Our Own Ideas Of What's Possible On This Planet Alone.

If You Haven't Peed The Bed, You Haven't Taken Enough Chances.

You Are One Miniscule Piece Of A Never-ending Cycle. In Fact, You're Not Even A Piece. You're Just A Holder For Billions And Billions Of Other Pieces. Whether That's Organic Components, Living Organisms Inside Your Body, Bacteria Or Whatever It Is, You're Just Part Of The Soup Of The Universe, So Just Try To Enjoy What's Good About It.

Like Any Tool [drugs] Can Help You Or Hurt You.

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I Don't Care If You're Gay, Black, Chinese, Straight. That Means Nothing To Me. It's All An Illusion.

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Also I Can Come Up With New Bits - People Yell Stuff Out And It's A New Subject Or A Subject That I've Been Thinking About That I Haven't Done Onstage Yet And I'll Just Run With It.

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When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.

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Our Entire Civilization Is Built On A Foundation Of Unfixable Bullshit.

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I Think There Is More Comedians Now Than Ever, More Venues Now Than Ever. There Are Stand-ups Who Live In Towns Where They Don't Have Many Comedy Clubs Where They Are Organizing More Comedy Nights In Bars. I Just Think This Is A Fantastic Time For Stand Up.

There's Only 2 Reasons That You Hate Gay Marriage; 1. You're Dumb, Or 2. You're Secretly Worried That Dicks Are Delicious.

It's A Weird Experience When You're Just Trying To Talk Openly About How You Think Psychedelic Drugs And Marijuana Are Beneficial, Or A Lot Of Different Drugs, Especially Plant-based Ones, Can Be Beneficial. Especially Those Ones That Have Some Connection To Organic Life, I Feel Like You Can Learn Something From Them, From Mushrooms, From Peyote, From Marijuana. They Can Be Used As A Tool.

If The World Was An Etch-a-sketch, Glaciers Are The Big Shake.

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When You're Jealous, Especially Of Someone Else's Art Or Creations You Automatically Put Up These Selfish Walls That Reinforce Your Stupid Ideas. It's Hard To Pull Those Walls Down And Look At What You're Hiding. Look At Your Own Weakness And Realize That The Jealousy Came From Knowing That You're Intimidated By Someone Else's Work, And That When You Compare It To Your Own, You Fall Short.

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People For The Most Part Can Smell Lies, At Least I Thought That Until I Saw Audiences Applaud At Carlos Mencia.

People For The Most Part Can Smell Lies.

I Have This Thing Built Into My Contract That The Club Has To Put Up A Sign That Says My Act "contains The Strongest Language And Material Content Imaginable," But, Believe It Or Not, I Still Get Complaints. People Want You To Be What They Want You To Be. If They See You On Tv And That's What They Like, They Want You To Be Exactly Like That When They See You Live. And If You're Not, Some Of Them Get Upset.

Like Bees Creating A Beehive Or Ants Creating An Anthill We're All Moving Along Creating Something And We're Not Sure What It Is.

I Want To Talk About The Nature Of Human Beings Or How We're Evolving As A Race.

Martial Arts Are A Vehicle For Developing Your Human Potential.

Human Potential

People Love To See People Fall.

You Could Smell My Ass From Mars.

After This Whole Acting Thing Is Over And Done, You Eventually Have To Be Human. Some People Are Never Human. It's Very Weird.

What People Like Are Things To Laugh At. Funny Shows. It's All In The Execution, The Writing And The Characters, Not The Setting. And The Writing And The Execution And The Characters Are Great On (everybody Loves Raymond).

The People Who Could Most Benefit From The Self-reflective Ego-dissolving Qualities Of Cannabis Are The Ones That Want It To Be Illegal.

Faith Itself Is A Horrible Mechanism That Stunts The Growth Of Ideas. It Also Stunts The Act Of Questioning, And It Does This By Pushing The Idea That You Have To Have Faith - And That Nothing Has To Be Proven.

The Audience Changes Every Night. You're The Same Person. You Have To Speak Your Mind And Do The Stuff That You Think Is Funny And Makes You Laugh.

Speak Your Mind

Every Single Religion That Has Ever Been On The Face Of The Earth, Ever, Is A Cult. That’s All They Are.

One Of The Great Things About Houston Is That They Police Themselves. It's The Way Boston Was In The '80s. No Hacks Or Thieves Are Tolerated In The Community, And That's Huge.

I Love Existing In Pre Big Bang Conditions.

There's A Direct Correlation Between Positive Energy And Positive Results.

Positive Energy

To Really Appreciate Life You Got To Know You're Going To Die.

Like If You All Were Going To Go Out And One Guy's Like "you Know What Man I'm Going To Stay Home I'm Feeling Kind Of Shitty," You Go, "you Faggot." That's What It Means. It's About A Guy Wimping Out, Being A Douchebag...it Has Nothing To Do With Your Sexual Orientation.

I'm A Nightclub Comic. That's What I Do. I Work In The Clubs Uncensored Because My Mind Is Uncensored, And Those Are The Thoughts That I Have. I Do The Kind Of Comedy That I Would Enjoy Seeing.

I Brought Something Back From Those Experiences [with Drugs] Which Made Me Softer, Open To Other Ideas. And I've Learned From Listening To Other People Talk About Their Experiences, From Listening To Bill Hicks Or Reading Terrence Mckenna Or Aldous Huxley And Timothy Leary. But There's Always Some Dumb Cop Out There Who Says "we Don't Need Another Legal Drug And There's Psychological Addiction And Blah Blah Blah."

Listening To Others

Teaching Someone That Doesn't Know Something Forces You To Think About Almost Every Single Aspect Of It, Including Parts Of It That You Could Sort Of Take For Granted.

Because I Have A Girlfriend, I Try And Take The Straight And Narrow Path, Which Is Good Because It Prevents Vd.

I Do Cagefight Commentary In My Spare Time.

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Life Is Strange. You Keep Moving And Keep Growing. Before You Know It, You Look Back And Think, "what Was That?"

It's Not Necessarily A Brave Thing, People Talk About What They Think About. There's People Out There Who Love To Talk About Politics Or Where They Think The Countries Headed. I Don't Talk About That I Talk About...things That Are A Little Trippier.

If Life Wasn't Real It Would Be The Craziest Psychedelic Trip Ever

The Time You Spend Hating On Someone Robs You Of Your Own Time. You Are Literally Hating On Yourself And You Don't Even Realize It.

The Comedy Store In La, It's A Really Loose Room And It's Really Dark And Creepy And A Great Place To Explore Your Own Thoughts Onstage.

Kindness Is One Of The Best Gifts You Can Bestow... We Know That Inherently That Feels Great.

Your Body's Really Only Meant To Compete At The Highest Levels Of Combat Sports For A Few Years.

Once You Understand What Excellence Is All About... You See How That Excellence Manifests Itself In Any Discipline.

I Prefer Older People To College Kids [as Audience] For The Most Part. I Want People With Life Experience, People That Understand Where I'm Coming From.

In Order To Be Truly Great At Something You Have To Give Into A Certain Amount Of Madness.

You're Sort Of Programmed A Certain Way Because Of Your Environment. That's All You Know. But We Don't Have That Anymore Because Of The Internet. Because Of The Internet We're All Communicating With Each Other All Across The Board, So You're Getting Information From People All Around The World, Hitting A Much More Diverse Slice Of Culture.

I Really Never Thought People Would Think That I Was Funny, I Thought (my Friends) Thought I Was Funny Because I Was Their Friend, But Other People Would Just Think I Was An Asshole. I Was At Least Partly Right.

We Have To Start Treating Each Other As If We Are Treating Ourselves Living Another Life.

You Do What You're Supposed To Do, But You Have To Be Honest About What They're Doing. When You Do A Comedy Show On A Network The Problem Is There Are Going To Be A Bunch Of People Who Aren't Comedians That Are Going To Tell You What's Funny.

I Thought Eventually I'd Have A Family And I Really Didn't Want To Be A Loser Like That Guy In His 40s Still Shopping His Band's Shitty Demo Tapes Around.

Apartment Living Is Tough Action. Just The Whole Idea That You Share A Washer And Dryer Always Freaked Me Out.

If You're Dumb Enough To Do Crack, You're Supposed To Die. It's Evolution.

Comedy Is Really Not Like Any Other Art Form In That It's Very Specialized And Varied In It's Content, But Generic In It's Title.

I Think It Would Do A Lot Of People Good Just To Realize How Vulnerable They Are.

Anytime We Go To A New Town I Try To Book A Show. I Literally Know Nothing About The Club.

Someone Else's Success Does Not Equal A Failure For You.

If You Attach Your Mind To Any Ideology, You're Going To Be On A Road, And That Road May Or May Not Lead You In A Good Direction. But You're Gonna Stay On That Road Because You Are Attached To An Ideology. It Could Be A Terrible Road, But You Stick With It Regardless Of Rational Thinking.

Omigawa Is Moving Forward Like A Karate Robot

I Had A Great Time On News Radio, I Got To Make Tons Of Money In Relative Obscurity And Learn A Lot About The Tv Biz And Work On My Standup Act Constantly. It Was A Dream Gig.

I Definitely Had One Guy Come Up To Me And Ask If I Knew Where To Get Dmt. He Had A Crewcut And He Didn't Look Like He'd Ever Done A Drug In His Life. He Didn't Seem Curious He Seemed Like He Wanted To Get Me To Do Something. Like "you're The Laziest Narc Ever Dude. This Is Ridiculous. What, Do You Think I Bring Drugs Around With Me? Are You Retarded? Why Don't You Go Find Gangsters?"

Dick Gregory Was A Great Comedian Who Went And Got Arrested, Did Hunger Strikes, Protests. It Never Hurt His Career To Be Outspoken.

Have You Ever Talked To Someone, And You're Not Even Really Talking To Them? Actors Are The Worst For That.

A Unicorn Is A Donkey From The Future

When A Ball Goes Into A Net It Only Means Something Because We Decided It Means Something. When Somebody Punches Somebody In The Face It Always Means Something.

But It's Hard For A Chick To Do Comedy. It's Not As Open For Them.

The Universe Rewards Calculated Risk And Passion

Although Not Considered A Martial Art, Boxing Is Really A Martial Art. It's A Very Limited Martial Art As Long As You Agree To Just Box... But In An Actual Physical Fight Against Someone Who's Just A Wrestler, You're Going To Get Killed.

When Women Go To See Men Strip, We Never Accuse You Of Hating Men.

When I Started Out I Was Definitely More Traditional. It Was 1988. Everyone Was Doing The Jerry Seinfeld.

I'll Go To Church With Anyone Who's Willing To Smoke Pot And Look Through A Telescope With Me.

It's A Very Strange Thing When You Make Nature Illegal.

Build Confidence And Momentum With Each Good Decision You Make From Here On Out And Choose To Be Inspired.

Decisions You Make

Live Your Life Like You're The Hero In Your Movie And Right Now.

There's A Lot Of People That I Disagree With That I Think I Could Have Interesting Conversations With. What I Don't Want To Get Into Is Manufactured Conflict. I Would Much Rather Talk To Someone Like Dr. Rhonda Patrick Or Randall Carlson And Be Mesmerized By Information. I Guess In A Way That's Selfish, Or Maybe Not Objective Of Me. The Older (and Hopefully Wiser) I Get The Less Interested I Am In Conflict. I Don't Mind Disagreeing With People In A Civil Way, But I Definitely Don't Want To Go Out Of My Way To Have An Argument Unless It's A Really Important Subject.

Interesting Conversation

["faggot"] Is A Great Word! The Whole Thing About Language Is, It's Supposed To Be Broadcasting Your Intentions. These Are My Intentions And These Words Broadcast My Feelings. If All Of A Sudden You Have Forbidden Words That Doesn't Make The Intent Any Better. It's Just Appeasing Sensitive People.

You Want To Talk About The Word Faggot Because It Really Offends You? Well You're A Douchebag.

I've Been Involved In Mixed Martial Arts Since 1997 When I First Started Working For The Ufc.

The Planet's Spinning A Thousand Miles An Hour Around This Gigantic Nuclear Explosion While These People Roll These Machines With Rubber Tires Over This Hard Surface That We've Laid Down Over The Planet So That We Can Easily Move Ourselves Back And Forth.

That's My Only Goal. Surround Myself With Funny People, And Make Sure Everyone Has A Good Time And Works Hard.

Selling Your Life To Sit In A Box And Work For A Machine. An Uncaring Machine That Demands Productivity That Doesn't Understand You And Doesn't Want To Understand You... There's No Natural Behaviour. Everyone Is Wearing Clothes They Don't Want To Wear. Everybody Is Showing Up And Doing Something They Don't Want To Do. They Have No Connection To It. That's The Problem With Our Society.

I've Done Jiujitsu A Huge Chunk Of My Life, And I Try To Spend A Lot Of Time Educating People On The Nuances, The Subtleness Of The Ground Game. It's A Big Part Of Mixed Martial Arts.

Peter Joseph Is Asking The Questions And Proposing The Possible Solutions That We Should Be Demanding From The Elected Leaders Of This Crazy World. His Brilliant Analysis Of This Ridiculous System We're Operating Under Is One Of The Most Important Voices For Change In This Generation.

The Misconception Is That Standup Comics Are Always On. I Don't Know Any Really Funny Comics That Are Annoying And Constantly Trying To Be Funny All The Time.

What's Interesting About Science Is That We're Constantly Discovering New Things About The Universe, About Ourselves, About Our Bodies, About Diseases, About The Possibilities Of The Future. It's Amazing. Science Is One Of The Coolest Things About Being A Human Being - Without A Doubt.

Being A Celebrity Or Anything Else Where You're Really Ambitious, It's Really A Game To See How Successful You Can Get.

Faggot Never Meant "gay" When I Was A Kid. You Kind Of Knew That You Could Call A Gay Person Faggot If You Were Ignorant, But Nobody Ever Called Someone A Faggot If They Were Gay.

I'm Really Happy That I've Been Able To Make People Laugh And Distract Them From Their Day To Day Bullshit At A Comedy Show Or Because They Enjoyed One Of My Cds Or Tv Specials, But I Don't Know How Many People Have Actually Had Life Changing Thoughts Because Of It.

When Someone Comes Along And Expresses Him Or Herself As Freely As They Think, People Flock To It. They Enjoy It.

People Are Scared Man, They're Scared Of The Void.

I've Actually Been Doing Stand Up For More Than 20 Years. I Started In 1988. It's Almost 30 Years! Which Is Crazy.

The Mind Is The Most Important Thing Of The Big Picture And No One Has A Stronger Mindset Than Amateur Wrestlers.

I Had Seen Movies Before That That Had Made Me Laugh, But I Had Never Seen Anything Even Remotely Close To As Funny As Richard Pryor Was, Just Standing There Talking.

I Like La Because It Has A Giant Supply Of Great Comedians.

The Two Things I Understand Best Are Stand-up Comedy And Martial Arts. And Those Things Require An Ultimate Grasp Of The Truth. You Have To Be Objective About Your Skills And Abilities To Compete In Both.

I Wouldn't Totally Rule Out Doing Letterman Or The Tonight Show If I Had A Set That I Just Happened To Write That I Thought Was Funny But Was Still Appropriate For Network Censors. But I'm Not Going To Go Out Of My Way.

By Putting Yourself In That Intense Form Of Stress, It Makes Regular Life More Peaceful.

The Quicker We All Realize That We've Been Taught How To Live Life By People That Were Operating On The Momentum Of An Ignorant Past The Quicker We Can Move To A Global Ethic Of Community That Doesn't Value Invented Borders Or The Monopolization Of Natural Resources, But Rather The Goal Of A Happier More Loving Humanity.

One Of The Things That Happened Is I Did A Lot Of Shitty Gigs. When You Do A Bunch Of Shitty Bar Gigs You Have To Get Used To People Yelling At You, You're Used To Thinking On The Fly, To Dealing With Weird Situations.

I Think That One Of The Reasons Why People Look Towards The End Of Humanity Is That People Are Afraid To Die Alone. If You Die Alone, The People You Love Will Miss You, Or If They Die, You Miss Them - The Sorrow Is Inevitable. When You Truly Love Someone, The Thought Of Losing Them Forever Is Horrible.

If Tyson Griffin Was A Girl, I'd Say He Has A Badonkadonk.

Haters...are All Failures. It's 100% Across The Board. No One Who Is Truly Brilliant At Anything Is A Hater.

For Many People The Reason Why They're Idiots Is Not Necessarily That Their Brain Doesn't Work Well, It's That They Got In A Terrible Pattern.

Houston People Are Way Cool. They're Smart, They Know How To Have A Good Time, And They Have The Hottest Chicks On The Planet There.

Comedy Is A Funny Thing, And It's Really Not Like Any Other Art Form In That It's Very Specialized And Varied In It's Content, But Generic In It's Title. You Would Never Go To A Club Just To See "live Music," You Would Go To A Jazz Club To See Jazz, A Blues Club To See Blues, Etc. But When You Go To See "standup Comedy," If You Don't Know The Performers Material, You Really Don't Have Any Idea What You're Gonna Get.

The Sensory Deprivation Chamber Has Been The Most Important Tool That I've Ever Used For Developing My Mind

Richard Pryor Is, In My Mind, The Most Honest Comedian. He Bared His Soul To People. I Think That's Why Everybody Loved Him So Much.

Most Of My Bits Are Long Stream-of-consciousness- Type Things, And When I'm Doing Them Onstage, Other Places To Take The Theme Or Idea Will Hit Me, And I Just Go With It.

I Don't Know Much About The Music Business, But For Just General Advice For Someone Trying To Create Things, As Simple As This Sounds, I Think The Best Thing You Can Do Is Constantly Try To Improve Upon Your Work. Always Focus On That First And Foremost, And Leave Everything Else (marketing, Image) Completely Secondary. Obviously, Easier Said Than Done When You're Trying To Make A Living, But If You Can Move Along Those Lines And Earnestly Try To Make Things That You Really Enjoy It Can Only Benefit You In The Long Run.

I've Been Inspired By A Shitload Of People In My Life So If There's Ever Anybody That I Can Inspire, To Me That's A Huge Gift. To Be Able To Turn That Back Around.

A Comic, All They Have To Do Is, If You Do Something Funny In A Comedy Club And You Put It Up On You Tube, It Might Get A Million Hits! All It Needs To Do Is Resonate With One Person Who Sends It To Their Friends, Who Sends It To Other People, And Before You Know It, It Has Spread Virally And Boom! All Of A Sudden That Person Has A Name.

I Had A Sense Of Who I Was Before I Got Famous.

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Patricia Highsmith

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