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If I Could Make The Same Amount Of Money Doing Standup It Would Be No Contest. The Problem Is That If You Do Make That Kind Of Money Doing Standup, It's Not In Clubs, It's In Big Auditoriums And Large Venues, And I Really Think Something Is Lost When You Do Standup For A Big Crowd.

-Joe Rogan

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If I Could Make

Joe Rogan

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If I Could Make The Same Amount Of Money Doing Standup It Would Be No Contest. The Problem Is That If You Do Make That Kind Of Money Doing Standup, It's Not In Clubs, It's In Big Auditoriums And Large Venues, And I Really Think Something Is Lost When You Do Standup For A Big Crowd.

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I Wouldn't Totally Rule Out Doing Letterman Or The Tonight Show If I Had A Set That I Just Happened To Write That I Thought Was Funny But Was Still Appropriate For Network Censors. But I'm Not Going To Go Out Of My Way.

Be The Hero Of Your Own Story.

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If I Could, I Would Live In Houston, And I Would Encourage Any Comic Starting Out Looking For A Good Place To Develop To Move There.

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I Don`t Like People That Make Their Living Talking About Bullshit, And You See Them In Many Shows That Are Made On The Same Subject. When You Go Looking At Ufos Or Bigfoot Or What-have-you, There's Just Nothing There.

One Of The Great Things About Houston Is That They Police Themselves. It's The Way Boston Was In The '80s. No Hacks Or Thieves Are Tolerated In The Community, And That's Huge.

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Being A Celebrity Or Anything Else Where You're Really Ambitious, It's Really A Game To See How Successful You Can Get.

I Had A Great Time On News Radio, I Got To Make Tons Of Money In Relative Obscurity And Learn A Lot About The Tv Biz And Work On My Standup Act Constantly. It Was A Dream Gig.

Aspire To Be The Man You Pretend To Be When You're Trying To Get Laid.

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I've Been Involved In Mixed Martial Arts Since 1997 When I First Started Working For The Ufc.

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Apartment Living Is Tough Action. Just The Whole Idea That You Share A Washer And Dryer Always Freaked Me Out.

Comedy Is A Funny Thing, And It's Really Not Like Any Other Art Form In That It's Very Specialized And Varied In It's Content, But Generic In It's Title. You Would Never Go To A Club Just To See "live Music," You Would Go To A Jazz Club To See Jazz, A Blues Club To See Blues, Etc. But When You Go To See "standup Comedy," If You Don't Know The Performers Material, You Really Don't Have Any Idea What You're Gonna Get.

I Prefer Older People To College Kids [as Audience] For The Most Part. I Want People With Life Experience, People That Understand Where I'm Coming From.

I've Done Jiujitsu A Huge Chunk Of My Life, And I Try To Spend A Lot Of Time Educating People On The Nuances, The Subtleness Of The Ground Game. It's A Big Part Of Mixed Martial Arts.

The Comics I Hate Are Thieves. Nothing's More Disgusting Than A Guy Who Steals Another Person's Ideas And Tries To Claim Them As His Own.

Kindness Is One Of The Best Gifts You Can Bestow... We Know That Inherently That Feels Great.

Like If You All Were Going To Go Out And One Guy's Like "you Know What Man I'm Going To Stay Home I'm Feeling Kind Of Shitty," You Go, "you Faggot." That's What It Means. It's About A Guy Wimping Out, Being A Douchebag...it Has Nothing To Do With Your Sexual Orientation.

Life Is Strange. You Keep Moving And Keep Growing. Before You Know It, You Look Back And Think, "what Was That?"

Excellence In Anything Increases Your Potential In Everything.

When Someone Comes Along And Expresses Him Or Herself As Freely As They Think, People Flock To It. They Enjoy It.

Any Comic Like Myself Owes Everything He Has To Lenny Bruce. He Was The Originator. The Godfather Of Uncensored American Stand-up Is Clearly Lenny Bruce.

When A Ball Goes Into A Net It Only Means Something Because We Decided It Means Something. When Somebody Punches Somebody In The Face It Always Means Something.

I Always Do That At The End Of Shows, Like A Q&a Session. First Of All It Lets People Know That This Isn't Some Preprogrammed, Press-play Show Where I Have To Say The Exact Same Words In The Exact Same Order. That's Part Of The Thing With Live Comedy Is That People Like The Fun Aspect Of It And I Enjoy The Taking Questions Part.

One Of The Most Fascinating Lessons I've Absorbed About Life Is That The Struggle Is Good.

What People Like Are Things To Laugh At. Funny Shows. It's All In The Execution, The Writing And The Characters, Not The Setting. And The Writing And The Execution And The Characters Are Great On (everybody Loves Raymond).

I Think Stand Is Better Now Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's The Greatest Time Ever To Do Standup Comedy.

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