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Then Drew Shuffles Into The Dining Hall. I Drop My Toast, And My Mouth Drifts Open. Calling Him “bruised” Would Be An Understatement. His Face Is Swollen And Purple. He Has A Split Lip And A Cut Running Through His Eyebrow. He Keeps His Eyes Down On The Way To His Table, Not Even Lifting Them To Look At Me. I Glance Across The Room At Four. He Wears The Satisfied Smile I Wish I Had On.

-Veronica Roth

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Then Drew Shuffles Into

Veronica Roth

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Then Drew Shuffles Into The Dining Hall. I Drop My Toast, And My Mouth Drifts Open. Calling Him “bruised” Would Be An Understatement. His Face Is Swollen And Purple. He Has A Split Lip And A Cut Running Through His Eyebrow. He Keeps His Eyes Down On The Way To His Table, Not Even Lifting Them To Look At Me. I Glance Across The Room At Four. He Wears The Satisfied Smile I Wish I Had On.

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Sometimes I See Him As Just Another Person, And Sometimes I Feel The Sight Of Him In My Gut, Like A Deep Ache.

Yes," She Says, Her Eyes Bright With Tears. "my Dear Child, You've Done So Well.

What Irritates Me Most About Him Is His Natural Goodness, His Inborn Selflessness.

The Only Reason I Haven't Shot You Yet Is Because He's The One Who Should Get To Do It," I Say. "stay Away From Him Or I'll Decide I No Longer Care.

I Forgot My Watch. Minutes Or Hours Later, When The Panic Subsides, That Is What I Most Regret. Not Coming Here In The First Place - That Seemed Like An Obvious Choice - But My Bare Wrist, Which Makes It Impossible For Me To Know How Long I Have Been Sitting In This Room. My Back Aches, Which Is Some Indication, But It Is Not Definite Enough.

I Love You" I Say. "i Love You, Too" He Says. "i'll See You Soon.

A Breeze Blows Through The Alley, Pushing Me To One Side, And I Think Of Scaling The Ferris Wheel With Tobias. He Kept Me Steady Then. There Is No One Left To Keep Me Steady Now.

Though I Know That He Had Something To Do With The Attack Simulation, And With All Those Deaths, I Find It Difficult To Pair Those Actions With The Man I See In Front Of Me. I Wonder If This Is How It Is With All Evil Men, That To Someone, They Look Just Like Good Men, Talk Like Good Men, Are Just As Likeable As Good Men.

So This Is Where You Grew Up. Did You Like It Here? I Guess You Couldn't Have, If You Wanted To Leave.' Christina 'i Liked Some Things And Hated Some Things. And There Were Some Things I Didn't Know I Had Until I Lost Them.' Tris

I Am A Child. I Am Two Feet Tall, And Asking If She Loves Me.

Relax Beatrice, I've Driven A Car Before.' Marcus 'i've Done A Lot Of Things Before, But That Doesn't Mean I'm Any Good At Them!' Tris

My First Instinct Is To Push You Until You Break Just To See How Hard I Have To Press.

But I Killed A Man Just Like My Mother Did. David Says It’s Okay Because I Didn’t Mean To, And Because He Was About To Kill That Little Kid. But I’m Pretty Sure My Mom Didn’t Mean To Kill My Dad, Either, So What Difference Does That Make, Meaning Or Not Meaning To Do Something? Accident Or On Purpose, The Result Is The Same, And That’s One Fewer Life Than There Should Be In The World.

Every Faction Conditions Its Members To Think And Act A Certain Way. And Most People Do It. For Most People, It's Not Hard To Learn, To Find A Pattern Of Thought That Works And Stay That Way. But Our Minds Move In A Dozen Different Directions. We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

Fighting For Survival In A Shattered World... The Truth Is Her Only Hope.

Uriah Looked Better Than He Did An Hour Ago--he Washed The Blood From His Mouth, And Some Of The Color Returned To His Face. I'm Struck, Suddenly, By How Handsome He Is-- All His Features Are Proportionate, His Eyes Dark And Lively, His Skin Bronze-brown. And He Has Probably Always Been Handsome. Only Boys Who Have Been Handsome From A Young Age Have That Arrogance In Their Smile. Not Like Tobias, Who Is Almost Shy When He Smiles Like He Is Surprised You Bothered To Look At Him From The First Place.

I Have Your Back. I Didn't Mean Only When It's Easy. All The Time.

He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife?

Scrubbing The Floor When No One Else Wanted To Was Something That My Mother Would Have Done. If I Can't Be With Her, The Least I Can Do Is Act Like Her Sometimes.

In My Own Relationships, I Know That I Should Break Up With Someone Who Doesn't Encourage Me To Be Strong And Make My Own Choices And Do What's Best In My Life, So If You're Dating Someone Who Doesn't Want You To Be The Best Person You Can Be, You Shouldn't Be Dating Them.

Cute Relationship

Aren’t You Going To Ask Me If I’m All Right?” I Say. “no, I’m Pretty Sure You’re Not All Right.” He Shakes His Head. “i’m Going To Ask You Not To Make Any Decisions Until We’ve Talked About It.

She Walks Away, And I Am Too Stunned To Follow Her. At The End Of The Hallways She Turns And Says, "have A Piece Of Cake For Me, All Right? The Chocolate. It's Delicious." She Smiles A Strange, Twisted Smile, And Adds," I Love You, You Know." And Then She's Gone. I Stand Alone In The Blue Light Coming From The Lamp Above Me, And I Understand: She Has Been To The Compound Before. She Remembered This Hallways. She Knows About The Initiation Process. My Mother Was A Dauntless.

Dauntless,' He Says. 'i Was Born For Abnegation. I Was Planning On Leaving Dauntless, And Becoming Factionless. But Then I Met Her, And...i Felt Like Maybe I Could Make Something More Of My Decision.' Her. For A Moment, It's Like I'm Looking At A Different Person, Sitting In Tobias's Skin, One Whose Life Is Not As Simple As I Thought. He Wanted To Leave Dauntless, But He Stayed Because Of Me. He Never Told Me That.

There Is A Reason You Don’t Know All The Things I Know. -marcus Eaton

For Someone So Small, You're Heavy, Stiff," He Mutters.

I Feel The Monster Of Grief Again, Writhing In The Empty Space Where My Heart And Stomach Used To Be. I Gasp, Pressing Both Palms To My Chest. Now The Monstrous Thing Has Its Claws Around My Throat, Squeezing My Airway. I Twist And Put My Head Between My Knees, Breathing Until The Strangled Feeling Leaves Me.

You Always Look Like Someone's Sucked The Life Right Out Of You When Something Fascinates You. -tris

I Love 'harry Potter.' I'm A Huge Nerd - I Would Dress Up If I Could.

I Am Better Off Doing As Abnegation Taught Me: Turning Away From Myself, Projecting Always Outward, And Hoping That In Whatever Is Next, I Will Be Better Than I Am Now.

For A Few Minutes We Kiss, Deep In The Chasm, With The Roar Of Water All Around Us. And We Rise, Hand In Hand, I Realize That If We Had Both Chosen Differently, We Might Have Ended Up Doing The Same Thing, In A Safer Place, In Gray Clothes Instead Of Black Ones.

Your Daughter Is Doing Well Here. I've Been Overseeing Her Training." Since When Does "overseeing" Include Throwing Knives At Me And Scolding Me At Every Opportunity?

The Floor Is Solid Metal In Some Places And Metal Grating In Others. Everything Smells Like Rotting Garbage And Fire. "don't Say I Never Took You Anywhere Nice," Peter Says. "wouldn't Dream Of It," I Say.

You Chose Us. Now We Have To Choose You.

Can I Ask Why You’re Throwing Knives At Cheese?’ ‘caleb Came By To Discuss Something,’ Tobias Says, Leaning His Head Against The Wall As He Looks At Me. ‘and Knife-throwing Just Came Up Somehow.’ ‘as It So Often Does,’ I Say, A Small Smile Inching Across My Face.

If They Told Us What To Believe, And We Didn't Come To It On Our Own, Is It Still True?

I Fell In Love With Him. But I Don't Just Stay With Him By Default As If There's No One Else Available To Me. I Stay With Him Because I Choose To, Every Day That I Wake Up, Every Day That We Fight Or Lie To Each Other Or Disappoint Each Other. I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

Reading Is Such A Huge Part Of My Life.

I Think It's A Human Tendency That's Been Around For A While To Try To Be As Good As Possible To Prove Your Worth.

It's Not That I Ever Sat Down And Outlined A Trilogy, But I Always Have A Sense Of What Size An Idea Is When I Start It.

I Like To Think That Im Helping Them By Hating Them

If You Are Really One Of Us, It Won't Matter To You That You Might Fail. And If It Does, You Are A Coward.

I Love You," I Say. I Said That Once, Before I Went To Erudite Headquarters, But He Was Asleep Then. I Don't Know Why I Didn't Say It When He Could Hear It. Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion. Or Afraid That I Did Not Know What It Was To Love Someone. But Now I Think The Scary Thing Was Not Saying It Before It Was Too Late. Not Saying It Before It Was Almost Too Late For Me.

I Hear My Heartbeat. I Have Been Looking At Him Too Long, But Then, He Has Been Looking Back, And I Feel Like We Are Both Trying To Say Something The Other Can't Hear, Though I Could Be Imagining It. Too Long - And Now Even Longer, My Heart Even Louder, His Tranquil Eyes Swallowing Me Whole.

His Hands Skim My Bare Arms. “just Bounce A Little When You Walk,” He Says, Kissing My Forehead, “and Pretend You’re Afraid Of Their Guns” —another Kiss Between My Eyebrows— “and Act Like The Shrinking Violet You Could Never Be ”—a Kiss On My Cheek— “and You’ll Be Fine.

She Wanted Us To Have More Than Five Choices. Now We Have None.

But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

I Love The Wikipedia Link Chain Because It Has Led Me Into Some Strange Articles. Wikipedia Is One Of My Favorites.

Be Careful, Though." "aren't I Always?" "no, I Think The Word For How You Usually Are Is 'reckless.

I Want People To Come Away From My Book With Questions. Questions About Virtue And Goodness. Not Answers.

Some Things Are Hard To Let Go Of.

I Wonder How I Seem To Them. They Must See Someone I Don't See. Someone Capable And Strong. Someone I Can't Be; Someone I Can Be.

I Understand Why She Did All Those Things, But That Doesn't Mean We Aren't Still Broken.

We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

In That Moment I Know Exactly What I Want; I Want To Peel Away All The Layers Of Clothing Between Us, Strip Away Everything That Separates Us, The Past And The Present And The Future.

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I Know That I Am Birdlike, Made Narrow And Small As If For Taking Flight, Built Straight-waisted And Fragile. But When He Touches Me Like He Can't Bear To Take His Hand Away, I Don't Wish I Was Any Different.

It's Stupid To Miss A Thing When There Are So Many People To Miss Instead, But I Miss This Train Already, And All The Others That Carried Me Through The City, My City, After I Was Brave Enough To Ride Them. I Brush My Fingers Over The Car Wall, Just Once, And Then Jump.

I Used To Go Outside Every Day And Invent These Elaborate Worlds And Scenarios In My Head, And When I Grew Too Old For Playing Pretend, I Started To Write Everything Down Instead.

You're Afraid Of Heights,'i Say. 'how Do You Survive In The Dauntless Compound?' 'i Ignore My Fear,' He (four) Says. 'when I Make Decisions, I Pretend It Doesn't Exist.

It's Strange How A Word, A Phrase, A Sentence, Can Feel Like A Blow To The Head.

Living Without Virtues Is To Live Divorced From Society, Seperated From The Most Important Thing In Life, Community.

You Need To Be Passionate About The Creative Work That You're Doing, But You Need To Be Kind Of Emotionally Separated From How People React To It Or How It Does. Those Things Should Be Secondary, And Primary Should Be Your Love Of The Creative Act.

That's The First Time I've Ever Said Those Words Out Loud, And Now I Hear How Strange They Are. How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Instead Them? People Are Supposed To Fear Others, Not Themselves.

A Sob Racks My Body Again, And He Wraps His Arms Around Me So Tightly I Find It Difficult To Breathe, But It Doesn't Matter. My Dignified Weeping Gives Way To Full-on Ugliness, My Mouth Open And My Face Contorted And Sounds Like A Dying Animal Coming From My Throat. If This Continues I Will Break Apart, And Maybe That Would Be Better, Maybe It Would Be Better To Shatter And Bear Nothing.

I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

By The Time We Leave, I Have Red Lips And Curled Eyelashes, And I’m Wearing A Bright Red Dress. And There’s A Knife Strapped To The Inside Of My Knee. This All Makes Perfect Sense.

You Know What Mom Told Me Once? She Said That Everyone Has Some Evil Inside Them, And The First Step To Loving Anyone Is To Recognize The Same Evil In Ourselves, So We're Able To Forgive Them.

I Have Never Had Parents Who Set Good Examples, Parents Whose Expectations Were Worth Living Up To, But She Did. I Can See Them Within Her, The Courage And The Beauty They Pressed Into Her Like A Handprint.

Caleb Runs Up To Me And Folds Me Carefully In His Arms. I Breathe A Sigh Of Relief. I Thought I Had Gotten To The Point Where I Didn’t Need My Brother Anymore, But I Don’t Think Such A Point Actually Exists.

One Piece Of Advice I Have Is: Want Something Else More Than Success. Success Is A Lovely Thing, But Your Desire To Say Something, Your Worth, And Your Identity Shouldn’t Rely On It, Because It’s Not Guaranteed And It’s Not Permanent And It’s Not Sufficient. So Work Hard, Fall In Love With The Writing — The Characters, The Story, The Words, The Themes — And Make Sure That You Are Who You Are Regardless Of Your Life Circumstances. That Way, When The Good Things Come, They Don’t Warp You, And When The Bad Things Hit You, You Don’t Fall Apart.

Falling In Love

Do I Look Like I’ve Been Crying?’ I Say. ‘hmm.’ He Leans In Close, Narrowing His Eyes Like He’s Inspecting My Face. A Smile Tugs At The Corner Of His Mouth. Even Closer, So We Would Be Breathng The Same Air- If I Could Remember To Breathe. ‘no, Tris,’ He Says. A More Serious Look Replaces His Smile As He Adds, ‘you Look Tough As Nails.

When You're A Teenager, Everything Seems Like The End Of The World, And I Don't Think That's Necessarily A Silly Thing. You're Waking Up And Becoming Aware That The World Has Problems And Those Problems Affect You, Whereas When You're Young They Don't Seem To Affect You That Much Even If You're Aware Of Them. This Dystopian Trend Picks Up On That Little Part Of Your Life Where Everything Feels Really Extreme And It Honors That Part Of Your Life And Says, "yeah. It Is The End Of The World. Look At It."

Four: Be Brave Tris. The First Time Is Always The Hardest.

Four Sits Down On The Edge Of The Carousel, Leaning Against A Plastic Horse's Foot. His Eyes Lift To The Sky, Where There Are No Stars, Only A Round Moon Peking Through A Thin Layer Of Clouds. The Muscles In His Arms Are Relaxed; His Hand Rests On The Back Of His Neck. He Looks Almost Comfortable, Holding That Gun To His Shoulder. I Close My Eyes Briefly. Why Does He Distract Me So Easily? I Need To Focus.

Writing Means Not Just Staring Ugliness In The Face, But Finding A Way To Embrace It.

Before She Got Here Everything Had Stalled Inside Me, And Every Morning I Was Just Moving Toward Nighttime.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says.

Every Tattoo I Got With Them Is A Mark Of Their Friendship, And Almost Every Time I Have Laughed In This Dark Place Was Because Of Them. I Don’t Want To Lose Them. But I Feel Like I Have Already.

I'm Not Dauntless - I'm Divergent. I Am Whatever I Choose To Be.

Okay. Then...i Can Talk. Ask Me Something." "okay." He Laughs Shakily In My Ear. "why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?" I Cringe And Say, "well, I...i Barely Know You. I Barely Know You And I'm Crammed Up Against You In A Box, Four, What Do You Think?"... "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor," He Says, "because You're A Terrible Liar.

It Is Amazing How Pretending To Be In A Different Faction Changes Everything -- Even The Way I Walk. That Must Be Why It's So Strange That I Could Easily Belong In Three Of Them.

With Four? Doing A Little... Addition? Multiplication?

Decades Ago, Our Ancestors Realized That It Is Not Just Political Ideology, Religious Belief, Race, Or Nationalism That Is To Blame For A Warring World. Rather, They Determined That It Was The Fault Of Human Personality - Of Humankind's Inclination Towards Evil, In Whatever Form That Is. They Divided Into Factions That Sought To Eradicate Those Qualities They Believed Responsible For The World's Disarray.

I Shield My Eyes From The Sun To See Her Cold Look—the Expression I Saw In My Mind Even Before I Looked At Her. She Looks Older To Me Than She Ever Has, Stern And Tough And Worn By Time. I Feel That Way, Too. “these People Have No Regard For Human Life,” She Says. “they’re About To Wipe The Memories Of All Our Friends And Neighbors. They’re Responsible For The Deaths Of A Large Majority Of Our Old Faction.” She Sidesteps Me And Marches Toward The Door. “i Think They’re Lucky I’m Not Going To Kill Them.

Pride Blinds People To The Truth Of What They Are.

Some People Will Always Fear Change. But We Can't Indulge Them.

She Taught Me All About Real Sacrifice. That It Should Be Done From Love... That It Should Be Done From Necessity, Not Without Exhausting All Other Options. That It Should Be Done For People Who Need Your Strength Because They Don't Have Enough Of Their Own.

Do You Know Him Well?" I Ask.i Am Too Curious; I Always Have Been. "everyone Knows Four," She Says. "we Were Initiates Together.i Was Bad At Fighting,so He Taught Me Every Night After Everyone Was Asleep." She Scratches The Back Of Her Neck, Her Expression Suddenly Serious. "nice Of Him." She Gets Up And Stands Behind The Members Sitting In The Doorway. In A Second, Her Serious Expression Is Gone,but I Still Feel Rattled By What She Said, Half Confused By The Idea Of Four Being "nice" And Half Wanting To Punch Her For No Apparent Reason.

Choices Can Be Made Again." -evelyn Johnson (eaton)

I Know That I'll Be Writing For Young Adults For A Long Time. Mostly Because I Just Love The Readers And The Teachers And Librarians That I Interact With.

And Then The Screaming Begins.

If I Let A Little Of The Emotion Out, All Of It Will Come Out, And It Will Never End.

Looks Like Someone Had A Mood Swing.” She Rolls Her Eyes. “like You Don’t Want To Know What His Fears Are. He Acts So Tough That He’s Probably Afraid Of Marshmallows And Really Bright Sunrises Or Something.

He Turns Toward Me. I Want To Touch Him, But I’m Afraid Of His Bareness; Afraid That He Will Make Me Bare Too. ‘is This Scaring You, Tris?’ ‘no,’ I Croak. I Clear My Throat. ‘not Really. I’m Only…afraid Of What I Want.’ ‘what Do You Want?’ Then His Face Tightens. ‘me?’ Slowly I Nod.

He Touches My Face, Covering My Cheeks With His Hands, Sliding His Fingertips Down My Neck, Fitting His Fingers To The Slight Curve Of My Hips. I Can't Stop.

Or You Can Stay Frigid," Says Will, His Green Eyes Glinting With Mischief. "you Know. If You Want." Christina Throws A Roll At Him. He Catches It And Bites It. "don't Be Mean To Her," She Says. "frigidity Is In Her Nature. Sort Of Like Being A Know-it-all Is In Yours." "i Am Not Frigid!" I Exclaim. "don't Worry About It," Says Will. It's Endearing. Look You're All Red.

Politeness Is Deception In Pretty Packaging.

My Name Is Four,” I Say. “call Me ‘stiff’ Again And You And I Will Have A Problem.

If Someone Offer You An Opportunity To Get Closer To Your Enemy, You Always Take It.

If We Stay Together, I'll Have To Forgive You Over And Over Again, And If You're Still In This, You'll Have To Forgive Me Over And Over Again Too. So Forgiveness Isn't The Point. What I Really Should Have Been Trying To Figure Out Is Whether We Were Still Good For Each Other Or Not

I Watch Her Blond Head Until It Disappears Around The Bend, And I Feel Bare, Like There's Nothing Left To Protect Me Against Pain. Her Absence Stings Worst Of All.

The Man Running Toward Me Is Not A Man, He Is A Boy. A Shaggy-haired Boy With A Crease Between His Eyebrows. Will. Dull-eyed And Mindless, But Still Will. He Stops Running And Mirrors Me, His Feet Planted And His Gun Up. In An Instant, I See His Finger Poised Over The Trigger And Hear The Bullet Slide Into The Chamber, And I Fire. My Eyes Squeezed Shut. Can't Breathe. The Bullet Hit Him In The Head. I Know Because That's Where I Aimed It.

No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know.

What's This About Flashing Underwear?" Says Uriah, Sidestepping A Bunk. "whatever It Is, I'm In.

Just As I Have Insisted On His Worth, He Has Always Insisted On My Strength, Insisted That My Capacity Is Greater Than I Believe. And I Know, Without Being Told, That's What Love Does, When It's Right-it Makes You More Than You Were, More Than You Thought You Could Be. This Is Right.

Beatrice. We Should Think Of Our Family. But. But We Must Also Think Of Ourselves.

You're More Than Dauntless," He Says In A Low Voice. "but If You Want To Be Just Like Them, Hurling Yourself Into Ridiculous Situations For No Reason And Retaliating Against Your Enemies Without Any Regard For What's Ethical, Go Right Ahead. I Thought You Were Better Than That, But Maybe I Was Wrong.

It's When You're Acting Selflessly That You Are At Your Bravest." --four In Divergent

He Pulls Me Over The Railing And Against His Chest, Gathering Me Into His Arms, Easing An Arm Under My Knees. I Press My Face Into His Shoulder, And There Is A Sudden, Hollow Silence.

That Is How It Feels. Like Everything Between Us Is Twisted Together, Friendship And Love And Family, So I Cant Tell The Difference Between Any Of Them.

Love And Friendship

It Isn’t Right To Wish Pain On Other People Just Because They Hurt Me First.

I Tell Myself, As Sternly As Possible, That Is How Things Work Here. We Do Dangerous Things And People Die. People Die, And We Move On To The Next Dangerous Thing. The Sooner That Lesson Sinks In, The Better Chance I Have At Surviving Initiation.

Looking At Her Is Like Waking Up.

I Expect To Weave Through The Crowd, Dodging Elbows And Muttering "excuse Me" The Way I Always Do, But There Is No Need. Becoming Dauntless Has Made Me Noticable.

Today You Will Choose Your Factions. Until This Point You Have Followed Your Parents’ Paths, Your Parents’ Rules. Today You Will Find Your Own Path, Make Your Own Rules.

Yesterday He Told Me He Thought I Would Have To Pretend To Be Weak, But He Was Wrong. I Am Weak Already. I Brace Myself Against The Wall And Press My Forehead To My Hands. It’s Difficult To Take Deep Breaths, So I Take Short, Shallow Ones. I Can’t Let This Happen. They Attacked Me To Make Me Feel Weak. I Can Pretend They Succeeded To Protect Myself, But I Can’t Let It Become True.

Nature Is Neutral. Nature Doesn't Care How Much Money A Person Makes.

I Have A Message For The Divergent" I Am Divergent. "this Is Not A Negotiation" No, It Is Not. "it Is A Warning" I Understand. "every Two Days Until One Of You Delivers Yourself To Erudite Headquarters . . ." I Will. " . . . This Will Happen Again" It Will Never Happen Again.

What Is Wrong With You?' I Shake My Head. 'pull It Together.' And That's What It Feels Like: Pulling The Different Parts Of Me Up And In Like A Shoelace. I Feel Suffocated, But At Least I Feel Strong.

How Can You Fail A Test You Aren't Allowed To Prepare For?

It Was Him Or Me. I Chose Me. But I Feel Dead Too.

I Feel Acutely Aware Of How Young I Am. In A Way That Is Good. It's Productive. It Makes Me Realise That I Should Be Growing As A Writer And A Person.

You're Not Very Nice," I Say, Grinning. "you're One To Talk." "hey, I Could Be Nice If I Tried." "hmm." He Taps His Chin. "say Something Nice, Then." "you're Very Good-looking." He Smiles, His Teeth A Flash In This Dark. "i Like This 'nice' Thing.

But When I Do Feel All The Strength Go Out Of Me, And I Fall To My Knees Beside The Table And I Think I Cry, Then, Or At Least I Want To, And Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

"welcome To The Amity Compound," Johanna's Eyes Fix On My Face, And She Smiles Crookedly. "let Us Take Care Of You."

You Know, Most Boys Would Enjoy Being Trapped In Close Quarters With A Girl." I Roll My Eyes. "not Claustrophobic People, Tris.

Peter Would Probably Throw A Party If I Stopped Breathing.' 'well,' He Says, 'i Would Only Go If There Was Cake.

It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices.

Well, I Already Know What Happened To My Face", I Say. "i Was There. Sort Of

As A Teenager, I Put A Lot Of Pressure On Myself, And A Lot Of That, For Me, Was About Finding A Moral High Ground. As I've Grown Up, I've Decided To Abandon That Because It Made Me Judgmental And Also Stressed Me Out.

Moral High Ground

Nothing Else Is Alright. But We Are. -tobias

But Maybe What I Saw As Fearless Was Actually Fear Under Control.

I Am Afraid Of Her, Afraid Of What She Says-and Thrilled By It Too, Because It Means I Don't Have To Accept That I Am Smaller Than I Once Believed.

You Can't Be Fearless, Remember? Because You Still Care About Things. About Your Life.

Human Beings As A Whole Cannot Be Good For Long Before The Bad Creeps Back In And Poisons Us Again.

I Open The Door To The Fear Landscape Room And Flip Open The Small Black Box That Was In My Back Pocket To See The Syringes Inside. This Is The Box I Have Always Used, Padded Around The Needles; It Is A Sign Of Something Sick Inside Me, Or Something Brave.

I Love Tris The Divergent, Who Makes Decisions Apart From Faction Loyalty, Who Isn’t Some Faction Archetype. But The Tris Who’s Trying As Hard As She Can To Destroy Herself … I Can’t Love Her.

He Kisses Me Again, More Insistent This Time, His Hands Squeezing My Waist. His Breaths, His Body, My Body, We Are So Close There Is No Difference.

I Have Done Bad Things. I Can't Take Them Back, And They Are Part Of Who I Am. Most Of The Time, They Seem Like The Only Thing I Am.

He Pushes His Hair, Soaked From The Snow, Out Of His Eyes. "so What Are We Going To Do, Break A Window? Look For A Back Door?" "i'm Just Going To Walk In," I Say. "i'm Her Son." "you Also Betrayed Her And Left The City When She Forbade Anyone From Doing That," He Says, "and She Sent People After You To Stop You. People With Guns." "you Can Stay Here If You Want," I Say. "where The Serum Goes, I Go," He Says. "but If You Get Shot At, I'm Going To Grab It And Run." "i Don't Expect Anything More." He Is A Strange Sort Of Person.

I Think They're Going To Force Us To Eat Lots Of Cake And Then Take An Unreasonably Long Nap.

If You Actually Succeed In Creating A Utopia, You've Created A World Without Conflict, In Which Everything Is Perfect. And If There's No Conflict, There Are No Stories Worth Telling - Or Reading!

When I Get Home, I Sit On The Front Step And Take Deep Breaths Of The Cool Spring Air For A Few Minutes. My Mother Was The One Who Taught Me To Steal Moments Like Those, Moments Of Freedom, Though She Didn't Now It. I Watched Her... But I Learned Something Else From Watching Her Too, Which Is That The Free Moments Always Have To End.

This Is What I Wanted Most To Avoid: For My Rises And Falls To Become Tobias's Rises And Falls. That's Why I Can't Let Him Step In To Defend Me Now.

Trust Me When I Tell You, Eaton Boy, That Resisting Is Worth Doing.

He Doesn’t Scowl, But His Mouth Is So Tense That I Know He’s Angry With Me. 'don’t Be An Idiot,' He Says. 'an Idiot?' Is He Talking About The Blanket? 'you Were Lying.

It Reminds Me That No Embrace Will Ever Feel The Same Again, Because No One Will Ever Be Like Her Again, Because She's Gone. She's Gone, And Crying Feels So Useless, So Stupid, But It's All I Can Do.

Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

I Am Proud. It Will Get Me Into Trouble Someday, But Today It Makes Me Brave

I Have A Theory That Selflessness And Bravery Aren't All That Different.

Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking [..] In The Eye Is A Challenge.

It's What You Deserve To Hear," I Say Firmly, My Eyes Going Cloudy With Tears. "that You're Whole, That You're Worth Loving, That You're The Best Person I've Ever Known.

What You Deserve

I Met Him While I Was Imprisoned," I Say, And My Voice Sounds Far Away Even To Me. "i Was Just Curious." "i Wouldn't Judge Him Too Harshly," Says Fernando. "jeanine Can Be Extraordinarily Persuasive To Those Who Aren't Naturally Suspicious. I Have Always Been Naturally Suspicious." ... "yeah," I Say. "so Have I.

I Would Be Shocked By The Lack Of Security If We Were Not At Amity Headquarters. They Often Straddle The Line Between Trust And Stupidity.

Chaos And Destruction Do Tend To Take Away A Person's Dating Possibilities.

That’s One Way Of Looking At It. I Prefer To Look At It Another Way—which Is That If They Are Persistent Enough, Even Tiny Drops Of Water, Over Time, Can Change The Rock Forever. And It Will Never Change Back.

From One Tyrant To Another. That Is The World We Know, Now

Independent And Uninvolved. Must Be Nice. -tris

The Theory Is That If You Spill All Your Secrets, You'll Have No Desire To Lie About Anything, Ever Again. Like The Worst About You Is Already In The Open, So Why Not Just Be Honest?

Tris," He Says. "what Did They Do To You? You're Acting Like A Lunatic." "that's Not Very Nice Of You To Say," I Say. "they Put Me In A Good Mood, That's All. And Now I Really Want To Kiss You, So If You Could Just Relax-

She Can't Possibly Be Me, Though She Moves When I Move

I Am Collecting The Lessons Each Faction Has To Teach Me, And Storing Them In My Mind Like A Guidebook For Moving Through The World. There Is Always Somthing To Learn, Always Somthing That Is Important To Understand

The Reason The Factions Were Evil Is Because There Was No Way Out Of Them. They Gave Us The Illusion Of Choice Without Actually Giving Us A Choice.

Fine," He Says. "then I Love You.

I Only Came For Cake" -tobias Eaton, Divergent

I Do Know Who You Are. I Just Needed To Be Reminded.

Now She Looks Pale And Small, But Her Eyes Make Me Think Of Wide- Open Skies That I Have Never Actually Seen, Only Dreamed Of.

I’m Not Anyone,” He Says. “i’m Nobody. That’s What Being Factionless Is.

Divergent Series

I Want To Cry Because Something Terrible Happened, And I Saw It, And I Could Not See A Way To Mend It.

Since I Was Young, I Have Always Known This: Life Damages Us, Every One. We Can’t Escape That Damage. But Now, I Am Also Learning This: We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other.

It Will Be Difficult To Break The Habits Of Thinking Abnegation Instilled In Me, Like Tugging A Single Thread From A Complex Work Of Embroidery. But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

Really? I Thought The Transfers Will Go Through Four’s Landscape,” Says Uriah. “like He Would Let Anyone Do That,” She Says, Snorting. Something Inside Me Gets Warm And Soft. He Let Me Go Through It.

I Don't Believe It Is More Important To Move Forward Than To Know The Truth.

But Now I Know How Large The World Is... Well. I Suppose I Have Grown To Large Out Of My Faction. As A Consequence.

Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

No. Because It's So Stupid No Dauntless With Any Sense Would Speak It, Let Alone Think It. Pansycake. What Are You, Twelve?" "and A Half," He Says.

If I Don't Survive," I Say, "tell Tobias I Didn't Want To Leave Him.

Sometimes I Still Forget To Look For The Gentler Parts Of Her. For So Long All I Saw Was The Strength, Standing Out Like The Wiry Muscles In Her Arms Or The Black Ink Marking Her Collarbone With Flight.

Eric Walks Toward Me, And I Back Away By Instinct. I Try Not To Be Afraid Of Him, But I Know How Smart He Is And That If I’m Not Careful He’ll Notice That I Keep Staring At Her, And That Will Be My Undoing.

Can You Tell Me Where To Find Tobias'? I Ask. When I Imagine His Face, Affection For Him Bubbles Up Inside Of Me And All I Want To Do Is Kiss Him. 'four, I Mean. He's So Handsome, Isn't He? I Don't Really Understand Why He Likes Me So Much. I'm Not Very Nice, Am I?' -tris

I See A Few Hands Stretching Out To Me At The Edge Of The Net, So I Grabbed The First One I Could Reach And Pull Myself Across. I Roll Off, And Would Have Fallen Face-first Onto A Wood Floor If He Had Not Caught Me. "he" Is The Young Man Attached To The Hand I Grabbed. He Has A Spare Upper Lip And A Full Lower Lip. His Eyes Are So Deep-set That His Eyelashes Touch The Skin Under His Eyebrows, And They Are Dark Blue, A Dreaming, Sleeping, Waiting Color.

You Don’t Believe Things Because They Make Your Life Better, You Believe Them Because They’re True.

Sometimes You Just Need To Talk To Someone Who Is Detached From You. They Just Listen To What You Tell Them And You Get To Form The Way That They See You, Whereas Everyone Else In Your Life Already Thinks They Know What You're Dealing With Or What You're Going Through. That's My Recommendation For Actual Anxiety.

What Is It With You Today?” Says Christina On The Way To Breakfast. Her Eyes Are Still Swollen From Sleep And Her Tangled Hair Forms A Fuzzy Halo Around Her Face. “oh, You Know,” I Say. “sun Shining. Birds Chirping.” She Raises An Eyebrow At Me, As If Reminding Me That We Are In An Underground Tunnel.

Abnegation Produces Deeply Serious People. People Who Automatically See Things Like Need,” He Says. “i’ve Noticed That When People Switch To Dauntless, It Creates Some Of The Same Types. Erudite Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Turn Cruel And Brutal. Candor Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Become Boisterous, Fight-picking Adrenaline Junkies. And Abnegation Who Switch To Dauntless Become . . . I Don’t Know, Soldiers, I Guess. Revolutionaries.

It Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall, Is A Sign Of Cowardice.

Be Brave, Beatrice. I Love You.

Sometimes Crying Or Laughing Are The Only Options Left, And Laughing Feels Better Right Now.

I Was So Afraid That We Would Just Keep Colliding Over And Over Again If We Stayed Together, And That Eventually The Impact Would Break Me. But Now I Know I Am Like The Blade And He Is Like The Whetstone- I Am Too Strong To Break So Easily, And I Become Better, Sharper, Every Time I Touch Him.

I'm Surprised You Know That," I Say Quietly, " Since You Left Halfway Through My One And Only Fight." "it Wasn't Something I Wanted To Watch." He Says. What's That Supposed To Mean?

I Traded Cowardice For Cruelty; I Traded Weakness For Ferocity.

A Brave Man Acknowledges The Strength Of Others.

He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog, But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice.

Valuing Knowledge Above All Else Results In A Lust For Power, And That Leads Men Into Dark And Empty Places.

What's Worse: To Be Idle While Someone Dies, Or To Be Exiled And Empty-handed?

I Can't Tell Him I Need Him. I Can't Need Him, Period -- Or Really, We Can't Need Each Other, Because Who Knows How Long Either Of Us Will Last In This War?

So How Can I Hold Tobias’s Desperation Against Him, Like I’m Better Than Him, Like I’ve Never Let My Own Brokenness Blind Me?

At Home I Used To Spend Calm, Pleasant Nights With My Family. My Mother Knit Scarves For The Neighborhood Kids. My Father Helped Caleb With His Homework. There Was A Fire In The Fireplace And Peace In My Heart, As I Was Doing Exactly What I Was Supposed To Be Doing, And Everything Was Quiet. I Have Never Been Carried Around By A Large Boy, Or Laughed Until My Stomach Hurt At The Dinner Table, Or Listened To The Clamor Of A Hundred People All Talking At Once. Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

The Fire, The Fire. It Rages Within, A Campfire And Then An Inferno, And My Body Is Its Fuel. I Feel It Racing Through Me, Eating Away At The Weight. There Is Nothing That Can Kill Me Now; I Am Powerful And Invincible And Eternal.

Who Cares About Pretty? I'm Going For Noticeable.

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Peter S. Beagle

Dominic Monaghan

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