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No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know.

-Veronica Roth

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No Selfishness Or Insecurity

Veronica Roth

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No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know.

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You Don't Have To Tell Me Everything Right Away, But I Have To Tell You Everything Right Away? Can't You See How Stupid That Is?

Tobias And Tris

No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know.

People, I Have Discovered, Are Layers And Layers Of Secrets. You Believe You Know Them, That You Understand Them, But Their Motives Are Always Hidden From You, Buried In Their Own Hearts. You Will Never Know Them, But Sometimes You Decide To Trust Them.

He Holds My Face In Both Hands And Kisses Me Back. I Press Into The Distance Between Us Until It Is Gone, Crushing The Secrets We Have Kept And The Suspicions We Have Harbored-for Good, I Hope.

Few People Who Are Born Into Abnegation Choose To Leave It. When They Do, We Remember.

He Touches My Face, Covering My Cheeks With His Hands, Sliding His Fingertips Down My Neck, Fitting His Fingers To The Slight Curve Of My Hips. I Can't Stop.

Cowardice Is How You Decide To Be In Real Life

You Sadistic Pansycake.

I Can’t Leave Now. I Like Her Too Much. There, I Said It. But I Won’t Say It Again.

Before She Got Here Everything Had Stalled Inside Me, And Every Morning I Was Just Moving Toward Nighttime.

Psyche You Out?" I Repeat. "i'm Your Friend. I Wouldn't Do That." He Doesn't Say Anything. I Can Tell He Doesn't Believe Me-not Quite.

I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

I'm Surprised You Know That," I Say Quietly, " Since You Left Halfway Through My One And Only Fight." "it Wasn't Something I Wanted To Watch." He Says. What's That Supposed To Mean?

I Have Your Back. I Didn't Mean Only When It's Easy. All The Time.

I Feel The Monster Of Grief Again, Writhing In The Empty Space Where My Heart And Stomach Used To Be. I Gasp, Pressing Both Palms To My Chest. Now The Monstrous Thing Has Its Claws Around My Throat, Squeezing My Airway. I Twist And Put My Head Between My Knees, Breathing Until The Strangled Feeling Leaves Me.

I Touch Her Cheek To Slow The Kiss Down, Holding Her Mouth On Mine So I Can Feel Every Place Where Our Lips Touch And Every Place Where They Pull Away. I Savor The Air We Share In The Second Afterwards And The Slip Of Her Nose Across Mine. I Think Of Something To Say, But It Is Too Intimate, So I Swallow It. A Moment Later I Decide I Don't Care. "i Wish We Were Alone," I Say As I Back Out Of The Cell. She Smiles. "i Almost Always Wish That.

The Official Strategy Is Defensive Pessimism, Always.

You Are Holding A Loaded Gun, You Idiot. Act Like It.

Yes," She Says, Her Eyes Bright With Tears. "my Dear Child, You've Done So Well.

Not Writing Is As Important As Writing - Go Out Into The World And Remember How Interesting It, And The People In It, Are.

Scrubbing The Floor When No One Else Wanted To Was Something That My Mother Would Have Done. If I Can't Be With Her, The Least I Can Do Is Act Like Her Sometimes.

For Me, It Feels Like Driving From Truth Into A Lie, From Adulthood To Childhoold. I Watch The Land Of Pavement And Glass And Metal Turn Into An Empty Field. The Snow Is Falling Softly Now, And I Can Faintly See The City's Skyline Up Ahead, The Buildings Just A Shade Darker Than The Clouds.

It's Like He Knows, He Knows I Have A Thing For Her.

When Her Body First Hit The Net, All I Registered Was A Gray Blur. I Pulled Her Across It And Her Hand Was Small, But Warm, And Then She Stood Before Me, Short And Thin And Plain And In All Ways Unremarkable- Except That She Had Jumped First. The Stiff Had Jumped First. Even I Didn't Jump First. Her Eyes Were So Stern, So Insistent. Beautiful.

Four: Be Brave Tris. The First Time Is Always The Hardest.

That’s One Way Of Looking At It. I Prefer To Look At It Another Way—which Is That If They Are Persistent Enough, Even Tiny Drops Of Water, Over Time, Can Change The Rock Forever. And It Will Never Change Back.

I Have Something I Need To Tell You," He Says. I Run My Fingers Along The Tendons In His Hands And Look Back At Him. "i Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i'm Waiting Until I'm Sure To Tell You, Though." "that's Sensible Of You," I Say, Smiling Too. "we Should Find Some Paper So You Can Make A List Or A Chart Or Something." I Feel His Laughter Against My Side, His Nose Sliding Along My Jaw, His Lips Pressing My Ear. "maybe I'm Already Sure," He Says, "and I Just Don't Want To Frighten You." I Laugh A Little. "then You Should Know Better." "fine," He Says. "then I Love You.

So Now We All Know," Says Four, Quietly, "that You Are Afraid Of A Short, Skinny Girl From Abnegation." His Mouth Curls Into A Smile.

I Feel Empty, Not Because Of Sadness, But Because Of Relief, All The Tension Flowing Out Of Me.

This Is Bizarre," I Say. "i Think It's Beautiful," He Says. I Give Him A Look. "what?" He Laughs A Little. "they Each Have An Equal Role In Government; They Each Feel Equally Responsible. And It Makes Them Care; It Makes Them Kind. I Think That's Beautiful.

Dauntless: Being Brave In The Midst Of Fear.

Faction Before Blood.

He Turns Toward Me. I Want To Touch Him, But I’m Afraid Of His Bareness; Afraid That He Will Make Me Bare Too. ‘is This Scaring You, Tris?’ ‘no,’ I Croak. I Clear My Throat. ‘not Really. I’m Only…afraid Of What I Want.’ ‘what Do You Want?’ Then His Face Tightens. ‘me?’ Slowly I Nod.

It Is A Gift. You Cannot Earn It, Or It Ceases To Be A Gift.

I Would Be Shocked By The Lack Of Security If We Were Not At Amity Headquarters. They Often Straddle The Line Between Trust And Stupidity.

I Hear My Heartbeat. I Have Been Looking At Him Too Long, But Then, He Has Been Looking Back, And I Feel Like We Are Both Trying To Say Something The Other Can't Hear, Though I Could Be Imagining It. Too Long - And Now Even Longer, My Heart Even Louder, His Tranquil Eyes Swallowing Me Whole.

Everything - Our Houses, Our Clothes, Our Hairstyles - Is Meant To Help Us Forget Ourselves And To Protect Us From Vanity, Greed And Envy, Which Are Just Forms Of Selfishness. If We Have Little, And Want For Little, And We Are All Equal, We Envy No One.

He Pushes His Hair, Soaked From The Snow, Out Of His Eyes. "so What Are We Going To Do, Break A Window? Look For A Back Door?" "i'm Just Going To Walk In," I Say. "i'm Her Son." "you Also Betrayed Her And Left The City When She Forbade Anyone From Doing That," He Says, "and She Sent People After You To Stop You. People With Guns." "you Can Stay Here If You Want," I Say. "where The Serum Goes, I Go," He Says. "but If You Get Shot At, I'm Going To Grab It And Run." "i Don't Expect Anything More." He Is A Strange Sort Of Person.

You're Afraid Of Heights,'i Say. 'how Do You Survive In The Dauntless Compound?' 'i Ignore My Fear,' He (four) Says. 'when I Make Decisions, I Pretend It Doesn't Exist.

I Was Still Afraid Of Him, I Knew, But In A Different Way - I Was No Longer A Child, Afraid Of The Threat My Terrifying Father Posed To My Safety. I Was A Man, Afraid Of The Threat He Posed To My Character, To My Future, To My Identity.

You Know, Most Boys Would Enjoy Being Trapped In Close Quarters With A Girl." I Roll My Eyes. "not Claustrophobic People, Tris.

Uriah Looked Better Than He Did An Hour Ago--he Washed The Blood From His Mouth, And Some Of The Color Returned To His Face. I'm Struck, Suddenly, By How Handsome He Is-- All His Features Are Proportionate, His Eyes Dark And Lively, His Skin Bronze-brown. And He Has Probably Always Been Handsome. Only Boys Who Have Been Handsome From A Young Age Have That Arrogance In Their Smile. Not Like Tobias, Who Is Almost Shy When He Smiles Like He Is Surprised You Bothered To Look At Him From The First Place.

At Home I Used To Spend Calm, Pleasant Nights With My Family. My Mother Knit Scarves For The Neighborhood Kids. My Father Helped Caleb With His Homework. There Was A Fire In The Fireplace And Peace In My Heart, As I Was Doing Exactly What I Was Supposed To Be Doing, And Everything Was Quiet. I Have Never Been Carried Around By A Large Boy, Or Laughed Until My Stomach Hurt At The Dinner Table, Or Listened To The Clamor Of A Hundred People All Talking At Once. Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

That Dot Covers All The Places We've Ever Been. You Could Cut That Piece Of Land Out Of The Ground And Sing It Into This Ocean And No One Would Even Notice. I Feel That Fear Again, The Fear Of My Own Size. 'right. So?' 'so? So Everything I've Ever Worried About Or Said Or Done, How Can It Possibly Matter?' He Shakes His Head. 'it Doesn't.' 'of Course It Does,' I Say, 'all That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

Though He Does Not Touch Me, He Steadies Me.

It Reminds Me Why I Chose Dauntless In The First Place: Not Because They Are Perfect, But Because They Are Alive. Because They Are Free.

I Suppose Everything Is Bound To Look Different When You Aren't On Your Way To Die.

Today You Will Choose Your Factions. Until This Point You Have Followed Your Parents’ Paths, Your Parents’ Rules. Today You Will Find Your Own Path, Make Your Own Rules.

Inquisitiveness Is Self-serving, Johanna. -marcus Eaton

What Makes You Different, Makes You Dangerous.

He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife?

There Is A Reason You Don’t Know All The Things I Know. -marcus Eaton

The Opinions Of Others Cannot Damage You.

It Isn't The Height That Scares Me - The Height Makes Me Feel Alive With Energy, Every Organ And Vessel And Muscle In My Body Singing At The Same Pitch. Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

Where's Marcus, Destroyer Of Lives, Going To Meet Us?

And I'm The Kind Of Person Who Does Not Let Inconsequential Things Like Boys And Near Death Experiences Stop Her.

You’re Too Important To Just … Die.” He Shakes His Head. He Won’t Even Look At Me—his Eyes Keep Shifting Across My Face, To The Wall Behind Me Or The Ceiling Above Me, To Everything But Me. I Am Too Stunned To Be Angry. “i’m Not Important. Everyone Will Do Just Fine Without Me,” I Say. “who Cares About Everyone? What About Me?

But When I Do Feel All The Strength Go Out Of Me, And I Fall To My Knees Beside The Table And I Think I Cry, Then, Or At Least I Want To, And Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

She Wanted Us To Have More Than Five Choices. Now We Have None.

He Moves His Thumb In A Slow Circle Over The Back Of My Hand. It Is Meant To Comfort Me, But It Frustrates Me Instead. I Need To Talk To Him. I Need To Look At Him.

Maybe It's A Little Depressing To Think That My Vision Of A Perfect World Is Actually So Messed Up, But I Think It Means That I Don't Really Understand What 'perfect' Is.

Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And Its Been Played On Me Twice.

Looks Like Someone Had A Mood Swing.” She Rolls Her Eyes. “like You Don’t Want To Know What His Fears Are. He Acts So Tough That He’s Probably Afraid Of Marshmallows And Really Bright Sunrises Or Something.

It Is Amazing How Pretending To Be In A Different Faction Changes Everything -- Even The Way I Walk. That Must Be Why It's So Strange That I Could Easily Belong In Three Of Them.

I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

No Matter How Long You Train Someone To Be Brave, You Never Know If They Are Or Not Until Something Real Happens.

How Strange That Something So Simple Could Have Been Instrumental In My Decision To Ruin One Of My Most Relationships And Friendships, And Damage Another.

Sarcasm Is Always At Someone's Expense.

People, Even Genetically Damaged People, Make Choices. That’s What Matters.’

Nature Is Neutral. Nature Doesn't Care How Much Money A Person Makes.

You Think My First Instinct Is To Protect You. Because You're Small, Or A Girl, Or A Stiff. But You're Wrong." He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife? My Skin Tingles At The Point Of Contact, Like He's Transmitting Electricity Through His Skin. "my First Instinct Is To Push You Until You Break, Just To See How Hard I Have To Press." He Says, His Fingers Squeezing At The Word Break. My Body Tenses At The Edge In His Voice, So I Am Coiled As Tight As A Spring, And I Forget To Breathe.

Those Who Blamed Aggression Formed Amity.’… ‘those Who Blamed Ignorance Became The Erudite.’… ‘those Who Blamed Duplicity Created Candor.’… ‘those Who Blamed Selfishness Made Abnegation.’… ‘and Those Who Blamed Cowardice Were The Dauntless.

I Didn't Know That Idiocy Caused People To Just Start Spontaneously Bleeding From The Nose.

Eric Walks Toward Me, And I Back Away By Instinct. I Try Not To Be Afraid Of Him, But I Know How Smart He Is And That If I’m Not Careful He’ll Notice That I Keep Staring At Her, And That Will Be My Undoing.

No Factions? A World In Which No One Knows Who They Are Or Where They Fit? I Can't Even Fathom It. I Imagine Only Chaos And Isolation.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

That Is Death - Shifting From "is" To "was.

It's Then That I Realize: Of Course Tris Would Go Into The Weapons Lab Instead Of Caleb. Of Course She Would.

Trust Me When I Tell You, Eaton Boy, That Resisting Is Worth Doing.

I Laugh, And It's Laughter, Not Light, That Casts Out The Darkness Building Within Me, That Reminds Me I Am Still Alive, Even In This Strange Place Where Everything I've Ever Known Is Coming Apart.

To Me, When Someone Wrongs You, You Both Share The Burden Of That Wrongdoing - The Pain Of It Weighs On Both Of You. Forgiveness, Then, Means Choosing To Bear The Full Weight All By Yourself. Caleb's Betrayal Is Something We Both Carry, And Since He Did It, All I've Wanted Is For Him To Take Its Weight Away From Me. I Am Not Sure That I'm Capable Of Shouldering It All Myself - Not Sure That I Am Strong Enough, Or Good Enough.

Desperation Can Make A Person Do Surprising Things.

Living Without Virtues Is To Live Divorced From Society, Seperated From The Most Important Thing In Life, Community.

I Feel The Urge, Familiar Now, To Wrench Myself From My Body And Speak Directly Into Her Mind. It Is The Same Urge, I Realize, That Makes Me Want To Kiss Her Every Time I See Her, Because Even A Sliver Of Distance Between Us Is Infuriating. Our Fingers, Loosely Woven A Moment Ago, Now Clutch Together, Her Palm Tacky With Moisture, Mine Rough In Places Where I Have Grabbed Too Many Handles On Too Many Moving Trains. Now She Looks Pale And Small, But Her Eyes Make Me Think Of Wide-open Skies That I Have Never Actually Seen, Only Dreamed Of.

One Choice One Choice, Decided Your Friends. One Choice, Defines Your Beliefs. One Choice, Determines Your Loyalties - Forever. Once Choice Can Transform You

You're Too Important To Just... Die.

I Think I Speak For Everyone," He Says, "when I Say You Have Earned The Title Of Dauntless".

Maybe There's More We All Could Have Done, But We Just Have To Let The Guilt Remind Us To Do Better Next Time.

It's Not About Being Fearless, It's About Acting In Spite Of Fear

I Confessed To Tobias, Soon After That, That I Had Lost My Entire Family. And He Assured Me That He Was My Family Now. -tris Prior

Dead People Can Be Our Heroes Because They Can't Disappoint Us Later; They Only Improve Over Time, As We Forget More And More About Them.

But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

If Eric Thinks I Did Something Right, I Must Have Done It Wrong.

I Like To Think That Im Helping Them By Hating Them

By The Time We Leave, I Have Red Lips And Curled Eyelashes, And I’m Wearing A Bright Red Dress. And There’s A Knife Strapped To The Inside Of My Knee. This All Makes Perfect Sense.

I See Love Developing From Friendship. Common Ground Is A Strong Basis For Friendship. My Husband Is My Best Friend And We Have A Lot In Common Even Though We're Admittedly Different People. I Think It Evolves From How I See Relationships Working. You Know, The Opposites Attract Thing Happens All The Time, But So Does The Best Friends Thing. It's Just A Great Kind Of Relationship In Fiction.

About When To Let Others Sacrifice Themselves For You, Even If Its Selfish. They Say That If The Sacrifice Is The Ultimate Way For That Person To Show You That They Love You, Let Them Do It.

I Am A Naturally Curious Person. -tris

Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

Part Of Me Wonders If This Is A Suicide Mission Disguised As A Game.

Yes," I Say. "three Of These Flying Birds." I Touch My Collarbone, Marking The Path Of Their Flight - Toward My Heart. One For Each Member Of The Family I Left Behind.

Which Means That In Order To Defeat Her, I Have To Think Of A Way To Defeat Myself. And How Can I Be A Better Fighter Than Myself, If She Knows The Same Strategies I Know, And Is Exactly As Resourceful And Clever As I Am?

Now She Looks Pale And Small, But Her Eyes Make Me Think Of Wide- Open Skies That I Have Never Actually Seen, Only Dreamed Of.

Out Of My Peripheral Vision, I See Four Shove The Door Open And Walk Out. Apparently This Fight Isn't Interesting Enough For Him. Or Maybe He's Going To Figure Out Why Everything's Spinning Like A Top, And I Don't Blame Him; I Want To Know The Answer Too.

Eric Called Al's Suicide Brave, And He Was Wrong. My Mother's Death Was Brave. I Remember How Calm She Was, How Determined. It Isn't Just Brave That She Died For Me; It Is Brave That She Did It Without Announcing It, Without Hesitation, And Without Appearing To Consider Another Option.

I Used To Go Outside Every Day And Invent These Elaborate Worlds And Scenarios In My Head, And When I Grew Too Old For Playing Pretend, I Started To Write Everything Down Instead.

Well, Half Of Half Our Faction.' 'in Some Circles They Call That A Quarter, Mar,' Lynn Says.

A Dauntless Ferris Wheel Wouldn’t Have Cars. You Would Just Hang On Tight With Your Hands, And Good Luck To You.

And I Provide Much- Needed Eye Candy.

Do I Look Like I’ve Been Crying?’ I Say. ‘hmm.’ He Leans In Close, Narrowing His Eyes Like He’s Inspecting My Face. A Smile Tugs At The Corner Of His Mouth. Even Closer, So We Would Be Breathng The Same Air- If I Could Remember To Breathe. ‘no, Tris,’ He Says. A More Serious Look Replaces His Smile As He Adds, ‘you Look Tough As Nails.

Fear," She Says, "is More Powerful Than Pain.

People Talk About The Pain Of Grief, But I Don't Know What They Mean. To Me, Grief Is A Devastating Numbness, Every Sensation Dulled.

I Am Afraid Of Her, Afraid Of What She Says-and Thrilled By It Too, Because It Means I Don't Have To Accept That I Am Smaller Than I Once Believed.

We Believe That Preparation Eradicates Cowardice, Which We Define As The Failure To Act In The Midst Of Fear.

It's Strange To See People You Don't Know Well In The Morning, With Sleepy Eyes And Pillow Creases In Their Cheeks

How Have I Never Realized Before That For All The Strong, Kind Parts Of Him, There Are Also Hurting, Broken Parts?

If We Stay Together, I'll Have To Forgive You Over And Over Again, And If You're Still In This, You'll Have To Forgive Me Over And Over Again Too. So Forgiveness Isn't The Point. What I Really Should Have Been Trying To Figure Out Is Whether We Were Still Good For Each Other Or Not

I Have Realized That Part Of Being Dauntless Is Being Willing To Make Things More Difficult For Yourself In Order To Be Self-sufficient.

In That Moment I Know Exactly What I Want; I Want To Peel Away All The Layers Of Clothing Between Us, Strip Away Everything That Separates Us, The Past And The Present And The Future.

Sometimes I Still Forget To Look For The Gentler Parts Of Her. For So Long All I Saw Was The Strength, Standing Out Like The Wiry Muscles In Her Arms Or The Black Ink Marking Her Collarbone With Flight.

I Feel Like Someone Breathed New Air Into My Lungs. I Am Not Abnegation. I Am Not Dauntless. I Am Divergent.

Why Would The Factionless Have A High Divergent Population?" It Sounds Like She's Smirking. "obviously Those Who Can't Confine Themselves To A Particular Way Of Thinking Would Be Most Likely To Leave A Faction Or Fail Its Initiation, Right?

Abnegation Produces Deeply Serious People. People Who Automatically See Things Like Need,” He Says. “i’ve Noticed That When People Switch To Dauntless, It Creates Some Of The Same Types. Erudite Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Turn Cruel And Brutal. Candor Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Become Boisterous, Fight-picking Adrenaline Junkies. And Abnegation Who Switch To Dauntless Become . . . I Don’t Know, Soldiers, I Guess. Revolutionaries.

We've All Started To Put Down The Virtues Of The Other Factions In The Process Of Bolstering Our Own. I Don't Want To Do That. I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest." He Clears His Throat. "i Continually Struggle With Kindness.

You Nearly Died Today,' He Says. 'i Almost Shot You. Why Didn't You Shoot Me, Tris?' 'i Couldn't Do That,' I Say. 'it Would Have Been Like Shooting Myself.' He Looks Pained And Leans Closer To Me, So His Lips Brush Mine When He Speaks.

And Don't Pay Attention To Christina. Your Face Doesn't Look That Bad." He Smiles A Little. "i Mean, It Looks Good. It Always Looks Good. I Mean--you Look Brave. Dauntless." His Eyes Skirt Mine, And He Scratches The Back Of His Head. The Silence Grows Between Us. It Was A Nice Thing To Say, But He Acts Like It Means More Than Just Words. I Hope I Am Wrong. I Could Not Be Attracted To Al-- I Could Not Be Attracted To Anyone That Fragile. I Smile As Much As My Bruised Cheek Will Allow, Hoping That Will Diffuse The Tension.

Ingenuity Requires Creativity.

Yesterday He Told Me He Thought I Would Have To Pretend To Be Weak, But He Was Wrong. I Am Weak Already. I Brace Myself Against The Wall And Press My Forehead To My Hands. It’s Difficult To Take Deep Breaths, So I Take Short, Shallow Ones. I Can’t Let This Happen. They Attacked Me To Make Me Feel Weak. I Can Pretend They Succeeded To Protect Myself, But I Can’t Let It Become True.

For God's Sake, Stiff," He Says. "you Don't Have To Follow Me," I Say Staring At The Maze Of Bars Above Me. I Shove My Foot Onto The Place Where Two Bars Cross And Push Myself Up, Grabbing Another Bar In The Process. I Sway For A Second, My Heart Beating So Hard I Can't Feel Anything Else. Every Thought I Have Condenses Into That Heartbeat, Moving At The Same Rhythm. "yes, I Do," He Says.

And Is It Selfish Of Me To Crave Victory, Or Is It Brave?

I Think He Came To Die With Me," I Say. I Clamp My Hand Over My Mouth To Stifle A Sob. If I Can Keep Breathing, I Can Stop Crying. I Didn't Need Or Want Him To Die With Me. I Wanted To Keep Him Safe. What An Idiot, I Think, But My Heart Isn't In It. "that's Ridiculous," He Says. "that Doesn't Make Any Sense. He's Eighteen; He'll Find Another Girlfriend Once You're Dead. And He's Stupid If He Doesn't Know That." Tears Run Down My Cheeks, Hot At First And Then Cold. I Close My Eyes. "if You Think That's What It's About..." I Swallow Another Sob. "...you're The Stupid One.

I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

Dauntless,' He Says. 'i Was Born For Abnegation. I Was Planning On Leaving Dauntless, And Becoming Factionless. But Then I Met Her, And...i Felt Like Maybe I Could Make Something More Of My Decision.' Her. For A Moment, It's Like I'm Looking At A Different Person, Sitting In Tobias's Skin, One Whose Life Is Not As Simple As I Thought. He Wanted To Leave Dauntless, But He Stayed Because Of Me. He Never Told Me That.

She Taught Me All About Real Sacrifice. That It Should Be Done From Love... That It Should Be Done From Necessity, Not Without Exhausting All Other Options. That It Should Be Done For People Who Need Your Strength Because They Don't Have Enough Of Their Own.

What's Your Name? Um... Think About It. You Don't Get To Pick Again. Tris.

From Your Results I Have Determined That You Are One Of The Strongest Divergent, Which I Say Not To Compliment You But To Explain My Purpose. If I Am To Develop A Simulation That Cannot Be Thwarted By The Divergent Mind, I Must Study The Strongest Divergent Mind In Order To Shore Up All Weaknesses In The Technology.

Compliments You

I Catch Myself Thinking 'thank God For This' Out Of Habit, And Then I Understand What He's So Concerned About. What If My Parents' God, Their Whole Belief System, Is Just Something Concocted By A Bunch Of Scientists To Keep Us Under Control? And Not Just Their Beliefs About God And Whatever Else Is Out There, About Right And Wrong, About Selfishness?

And Sometimes, If You Want The Truth, You Have To Demand It.

I Pout My Lower Lip For A Second, But Then I Grin As The Pieces Come Together In My Mind. "that's Why You Like Me!" I Exclaim. "because You're Not Very Nice Either! It Makes So Much More Sense Now.

It's Not Sacrifice If It's Someone Else's Life You're Giving Away, It's Just Evil.

My Dear Girl. I Am His Family. I Am Permanent. You Are Only Temporary.

There Is Always Somthing To Learn, Always Somthing That Is Important To Understand

Uriah Drops His Tray Next To Me. It Is Loaded With Beef Stew And Chocolate Cake. I Stare At The Cake Pile. “there Was Cake?” I Say, Looking At My Own Plate, Which Is More Sensibly Stocked Than Uriah’s. “yeah, Someone Just Brought It Out. Found A Couple Boxes Of The Mix In The Back And Baked It,” He Says. “you Can Have A Few Bites Of Mine.” “a Few Bites? So You’re Planning On Eating That Mountain Of Cake By Yourself?” “yes.” He Looks Confused. “why?” “never Mind.

I Have Discovered That Sitting Still Leaves Little Spaces For The Grief To Get In, So I Stay Busy.

I Love You" I Say. "i Love You, Too" He Says. "i'll See You Soon.

I'm Going To Stop A Revolution,'' I Say. I Turn Right, And Peter Follows Me.

There Are Men With Guns Up There. When They See Me, They Will Kill Me, If They Can," I Tell My Father Quietly. I Search His Eyes. "should I Let Them?" He Stares At Me For A Few Seconds. "go," He Says, "and God Help You.

We Believe In Ordinary Acts Of Bravery, In The Courage That Drives One Person To Stand Up For Another.

You Don’t Believe Things Because They Make Your Life Better, You Believe Them Because They’re True.

I Used To Think About Giving My Life Up For Things, But I Didn't Understand What 'giving Your Life' Really Was Until It Was Right There, About To Be Taken From Me

I Don't Need To Relive My Fears Anymore. All I Need To Do Now Is Try To Overcome Them.

I Have Never Been Carried Around By A Large Boy, Or Laughed Until My Stomach Hurt At The Dinner Table, Or Listened To The Clamor Of A Hundred People All Talking At Once. Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

Sometimes Crying Or Laughing Are The Only Options Left, And Laughing Feels Better Right Now.

God Tris, Are You Even Human?

There Are So Many Ways To Be Brave In This World. Sometimes Bravery Involves Laying Down Your Life For Something Bigger Than Yourself, Or For Someone Else. Sometimes It Involves Giving Up Everything You Have Ever Known, Or Everyone You Have Ever Loved, For The Sake Of Something Greater. But Sometimes It Doesn't. Sometimes It Is Nothing More Than Gritting Your Teeth Through Pain, And The Work Of Every Day, The Slow Walk Toward A Better Life. That Is The Sort Of Bravery I Must Have Now.

This Was The First Place I Everfelt Strong. Every Time I Breathe This Air I Feel It Again.

What Did You Do, Memorize A Map Of The City For Fun?” Says Christina. “yes,” Says Will, Looking Puzzled. “didn’t You?

But When You Kill Someone You Love, The Hard Part Is Never Over. It Just Gets Easier To Distract Yourself From What You've Done.

Someone You Love

Sometimes, All It Takes To Save People From A Terrible Fate Is One Person Willing To Do Something About It. Even If That "something" Is A Fake Bathroom Break.

I Feel Bare. I Didn't Realize I Wore My Secrets As Armor Until They Were Gone And Now Everyone Sees Me As I Really Am.

I Imagine The Wave Of Water Colliding With The Rock And Spilling Over The Tile Floor, Collecting Around My Shoes. Doing A Little At Once Can Fix Something, Eventually, But I Feel Like When You Believe That Something Is Truly A Problem, You Throw Everything You Have At It, Because You Just Can’t Help Yourself.

It Doesn't Take Skill To Stand In A Place Were No Bullets Find You, Or To Fire Into The Dark And Hit A Man You Didn't See.

Who Cares About Everyone? What About Me?

That Execution Will Take Place Here." She Runs Her Fingertips Over The Table Beneath Her. "on This Table. I Thought It Would Be Interesting To Show You." "i Knew What Would Happen When I Came Here," I Say. "it's Just A Table. And I'd Like To Go Back To My Room Now.

Let's Just Hug Already," He Says. Keeping One Hand Firm On Caleb's Arm, I Wrapped My Free Arm Around Zeke, And He Does The Same. When We Break Apart, I Pull Caleb Down The Alley, And Can't Resist Calling Back, "i'll Miss You." "you Too, Sweetie!" He Grins, And His Teeth Are White In The Twilight. They Are The Last Thing I See Of Him Before I Have To Turn And Set Out At A Trot For The Train.

It's When You're Acting Selflessly That You Are At Your Bravest." --four In Divergent

You Chose Us. Now We Have To Choose You.

You Always Look Like Someone's Sucked The Life Right Out Of You When Something Fascinates You. -tris

She Believes That Tobias Belongs To Her Now. She Doesn't Know The Truth, That He Belongs To Himself.

Noise And Activity Are The Refuges Of The Bereaved And The Guilty.

Becoming Fearless Isn't The Point. That's Impossible. It's Learning How To Control Your Fear, And How To Be Free From It.

The Serum Wears Off Five Hours Later, When The Sun Is Just Beginning To Set. Tobias Shut Me In My Room For The Rest Of The Day, Checking On Me Every Hour. This Time When He Comes In, I Am Sitting On The Bed, Glaring At The Wall. “thank God,” He Says, Pressing His Forehead To The Door. “i Was Beginning To Think It Would Never Wear Off And I Would Have To Leave You Here To … Smell Flowers, Or Whatever You Wanted To Do While You Were On That Stuff.

Sometimes I Just... Want To See It Again. Want To See You Awake.

I Feel Like Myself, Strong And Weak At Once - Allowed, At Least For A Little While, To Be Both.

Who Cares About Pretty? I'm Going For Noticeable.

Arrogance Is One Of The Flaws In The Erudite Heart -- I Know. It Is Often In Mine.

Four Sits Down On The Edge Of The Carousel, Leaning Against A Plastic Horse's Foot. His Eyes Lift To The Sky, Where There Are No Stars, Only A Round Moon Peking Through A Thin Layer Of Clouds. The Muscles In His Arms Are Relaxed; His Hand Rests On The Back Of His Neck. He Looks Almost Comfortable, Holding That Gun To His Shoulder. I Close My Eyes Briefly. Why Does He Distract Me So Easily? I Need To Focus.

Too Bad You Didn't Just Take Max Up On His Offer, Four. Well, Too Bad For You, Anyway," Says Eric Quietly As He Clicks The Bullet Into Its Chamber. My Lungs Burn; I Haven't Breathed In Almost A Minute. I See Tobias's Hand Twitch In The Corner Of My Eye, But My Hand Is Already On My Gun. I Press The Barrel To Eric's Forehead. His Eyes Widen, And His Face Goes Slack, And For A Second He Looks Like Another Sleeping Dauntless Soldier. My Index Finger Hovers Over The Trigger. "get Your Gun Away From His Head," I Say. "you Won't Shoot Me," Eric Replies. "interesting Theory. " I Say.

I Try To Leave Some Space In My Mind For Things To Surprise Me Or Change My Mind, I Think That's Important.

Your Daughter Is Doing Well Here. I've Been Overseeing Her Training." Since When Does "overseeing" Include Throwing Knives At Me And Scolding Me At Every Opportunity?

There Is A Difference Between Admitting And Confessing. Admitting Involves Softening, Making Excuses For Things That Cannot Be Excused; Confessing Just Names The Crimes At Its Full Severity.

Change, Like Healing, Takes Time.

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

Okay. Then...i Can Talk. Ask Me Something." "okay." He Laughs Shakily In My Ear. "why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?" I Cringe And Say, "well, I...i Barely Know You. I Barely Know You And I'm Crammed Up Against You In A Box, Four, What Do You Think?"... "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor," He Says, "because You're A Terrible Liar.

I Am A Child. I Am Two Feet Tall, And Asking If She Loves Me.

Let The Guilt Teach You How To Behave Next Time.

Evil Depends On Where You're Standing.

This Is What I Wanted Most To Avoid: For My Rises And Falls To Become Tobias's Rises And Falls. That's Why I Can't Let Him Step In To Defend Me Now.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says.

All That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

Can I Be Forgiven For All I've Done To Get Here? I Want To Be. I Can. I Believe It.

Oh. I Just Assumed... That Because I Am So Absorbed By Him Everyone Must Be Too.

Any Idiot Can Stand In Front Of A Target," I Say. "it Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall Is A Sign Of Cowardice" "then It Should Be Easy For You," Eric Sys. "if You're Willing Ot Take His Place.

You May Have Succeeded In Shutting Down The Attack Simulation, Girl, But It Was By Luck Alone, Not Skill. I Would Die Of Shock If You Managed To Do Anything Useful Again For A Long Time" This Is The Marcus That Tobias Knows. The One Who Knows Right Where To Hit To Cause The Most Damage.

When I Get Home, I Sit On The Front Step And Take Deep Breaths Of The Cool Spring Air For A Few Minutes. My Mother Was The One Who Taught Me To Steal Moments Like Those, Moments Of Freedom, Though She Didn't Now It. I Watched Her... But I Learned Something Else From Watching Her Too, Which Is That The Free Moments Always Have To End.

I Cross My Arms. "it Was A Two Minute Conversation." "i Don't Think A Smaller Time Frame Makes It Less Unwise." He Furrows His Eyebrows And Touches The Corner Of My Bruised Eye With His Fingertips. My Head Jerks Back, But He Doesn't Take His Hand Away. Instead He Sighs. "you Know, If You Could Just Learn To Attack First, You Might Do Better." "attack First?" I Say. "how Will That Help?" "you're Fast. If You Can Get A Few Good Hits In Before They Know What's Going On, You Could Win." He Shrugs, And His Hand Falls.

I Don’t Know What World You Live In, But In Mine, People Only Do Things For You For One Of Two Reasons. The First Is If They Want Something In Return. And The Second Is If They Feel Like They Owe You Something.

This Is How We Came By Our Factions: Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation And Dauntless." Max Smiles. "in Them We Find Administrators And Teachers And Counselors And Leaders And Protectors. In Them We Find Our Sense Of Belonging, Our Sense Of Community, Our Very Lives.

I’m Not Anyone,” He Says. “i’m Nobody. That’s What Being Factionless Is.

Divergent Series

That's The First Time I've Ever Said Those Words Out Loud, And Now I Hear How Strange They Are. How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Instead Them? People Are Supposed To Fear Others, Not Themselves.

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Wendell Phillips

Ernest Shackleton

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