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I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

-Veronica Roth

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I Just Wanted To

Veronica Roth

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I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

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Scrubbing The Floor When No One Else Wanted To Was Something That My Mother Would Have Done. If I Can't Be With Her, The Least I Can Do Is Act Like Her Sometimes.

The Truth Is... You Are Hurting Me. Not On Purpose, I Know That. But I Love You And Every Second That You Don´t Love Me Back...it Hurts.

I Think You're Still The Only Person Sharp Enough To Sharpen Someone Like Me.

Pride Is What Killed Al, And It Is The Flaw In Every Dauntless Heart. It Is In Mine.

I Shift From One Foot To The Other, Trying To Get A Good Look At Him. When I Finally Do, I Look Away. His Eyes Were Already On Me, Probably Drawn By My Nervous Movement.

I Have Realized That Part Of Being Dauntless Is Being Willing To Make Things More Difficult For Yourself In Order To Be Self-sufficient.

Every Faction Conditions Its Members To Think And Act A Certain Way. And Most People Do It. For Most People, It's Not Hard To Learn, To Find A Pattern Of Thought That Works And Stay That Way. But Our Minds Move In A Dozen Different Directions. We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

Though I Know That He Had Something To Do With The Attack Simulation, And With All Those Deaths, I Find It Difficult To Pair Those Actions With The Man I See In Front Of Me. I Wonder If This Is How It Is With All Evil Men, That To Someone, They Look Just Like Good Men, Talk Like Good Men, Are Just As Likeable As Good Men.

The Official Strategy Is Defensive Pessimism, Always.

It's Easy To Be Brave When They're Not My Fears.

My Father Says That Those Who Want Power And Get It Live In Terror Of Losing It. That's Why We Have To Give Power To Those Who Do Not Want It.

Tris," He Says. "what Did They Do To You? You're Acting Like A Lunatic." "that's Not Very Nice Of You To Say," I Say. "they Put Me In A Good Mood, That's All. And Now I Really Want To Kiss You, So If You Could Just Relax-

I Note How Calm She Looks And How Focused She Is. She Is Well-practiced In The Art Of Losing Herself. I Can't Say The Same Of Myself.

My First Instinct Is To Push You Until You Break Just To See How Hard I Have To Press.

I Get Up, Because I’m Supposed To, But If It Were Up To Me, I’d Stay In My Seat For The Rest Of Time.

Do You Know Him Well?" I Ask.i Am Too Curious; I Always Have Been. "everyone Knows Four," She Says. "we Were Initiates Together.i Was Bad At Fighting,so He Taught Me Every Night After Everyone Was Asleep." She Scratches The Back Of Her Neck, Her Expression Suddenly Serious. "nice Of Him." She Gets Up And Stands Behind The Members Sitting In The Doorway. In A Second, Her Serious Expression Is Gone,but I Still Feel Rattled By What She Said, Half Confused By The Idea Of Four Being "nice" And Half Wanting To Punch Her For No Apparent Reason.

Okay, Okay.” I Set My Hand On Top Of His And Guide It To My Chest, So It’s Right Over My Heart. “feel My Heartbeat. Can You Feel It?” “yes.” “feel How Steady It Is?” “it’s Fast.” “yes, Well, That Has Nothing To Do With The Box.” I Wince As Soon As I’m Done Speaking. I Just Admitted To Something. Hopefully He Doesn’t Realize That.

You Chose Us. Now We Have To Choose You.

He Bends Over To Untie His Shoes. “so, Have You Been Ostracized From Your Little Crowd Of Devotees?” “no,” I Say Automatically. Then I Add, “maybe. But They Aren’t My Devotees.” “please. They’re Like The Cult Of Four.” I Can’t Help But Laugh. “jealous? Wish You Had A Cult Of Psychopaths To Call Your Very Own?

I Feel A Thread Tugging Me Again, But This Time I Know That It Isn’t Some Sinister Force Dragging Me Toward Death. This Time I Know It’s My Mother's Hand, Drawing Me Into Her Arms. And I Go Gladly Into Her Embrace.

How Have I Never Realized Before That For All The Strong, Kind Parts Of Him, There Are Also Hurting, Broken Parts?

I Feel The Urge, Familiar Now, To Wrench Myself From My Body And Speak Directly Into Her Mind. It Is The Same Urge, I Realize, That Makes Me Want To Kiss Her Every Time I See Her, Because Even A Sliver Of Distance Between Us Is Infuriating. Our Fingers, Loosely Woven A Moment Ago, Now Clutch Together, Her Palm Tacky With Moisture, Mine Rough In Places Where I Have Grabbed Too Many Handles On Too Many Moving Trains. Now She Looks Pale And Small, But Her Eyes Make Me Think Of Wide-open Skies That I Have Never Actually Seen, Only Dreamed Of.

My Name Will Be Edith Proir," She Says. "and There Is Much I Am Happy To Forget.

I Was Angry With Him Before. I’m Not Really Sure Why. Maybe I Was Just Angry That The World Had Become Such A Complicated Place, That I Have Never Known Even A Fraction Of The Truth About It. Or That I Allowed Myself To Grieve For Someone Who Was Never Really Gone, The Same Way I Grieved For My Mother All The Years I Thought She Was Dead. Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And It’s Been Played On Me Twice.

I Love You," I Say. I Said That Once, Before I Went To Erudite Headquarters, But He Was Asleep Then. I Don't Know Why I Didn't Say It When He Could Hear It. Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion. Or Afraid That I Did Not Know What It Was To Love Someone. But Now I Think The Scary Thing Was Not Saying It Before It Was Too Late. Not Saying It Before It Was Almost Too Late For Me.

Maybe Time Would Not Feel As Heavy If I Didn't Have This Guilt -- The Guilt Of Knowing The Truth And Stuffing It Down Where No One Can See It, Not Even Tobias. Maybe I Should Not Be So Afraid Of Saying Anything, Because Honesty Will Make Me Feel Lighter.

The Gun Goes Off. I Fall.

I Imagine The Wave Of Water Colliding With The Rock And Spilling Over The Tile Floor, Collecting Around My Shoes. Doing A Little At Once Can Fix Something, Eventually, But I Feel Like When You Believe That Something Is Truly A Problem, You Throw Everything You Have At It, Because You Just Can’t Help Yourself.

Is There Any Other Way To Erudite Headquarters?" I Say. "not That I Now Of," Says Cara. "unless You Want To Jump From One Roof To Another." She Laughs A Little As She Says It, Like It's A Joke. I Raise My Eyebrows At Her. "wait," She Says. "you Aren't Considering---?

His Fingers Leave Streaks Of Cold On My Skin, Invisible To The Eye, And I Think About Wrapping His Shirt Around My Fist And Pulling Him In To Kiss Me; I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

I Ignore My Fear,” He Says. “when I Make Decisions, I Pretend It Doesn’t Exist.” I Stare At Him For A Second. I Can’t Help It. To Me There’s A Difference Between Not Being Afraid And Acting In Spite Of Fear, As He Does.

I Would Be Shocked By The Lack Of Security If We Were Not At Amity Headquarters. They Often Straddle The Line Between Trust And Stupidity.

A Sob Racks My Body Again, And He Wraps His Arms Around Me So Tightly I Find It Difficult To Breathe, But It Doesn't Matter. My Dignified Weeping Gives Way To Full-on Ugliness, My Mouth Open And My Face Contorted And Sounds Like A Dying Animal Coming From My Throat. If This Continues I Will Break Apart, And Maybe That Would Be Better, Maybe It Would Be Better To Shatter And Bear Nothing.

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To Live Factionless Is Not Just To Live In Poverty And Discomfort; It Is To Live Divorced From Society, Separated From The Most Important Thing In Life: Community. My Mother Once Told Me That We Can’t Survive Alone,but Even If We Could, We Wouldn’t Want To. Without A Faction, We Have No Purpose And No Reason To Live.

If You Are Really One Of Us, It Won't Matter To You That You Might Fail. And If It Does, You Are A Coward.

And Sometimes, If You Want The Truth, You Have To Demand It.

It Isn't The Height That Scares Me - The Height Makes Me Feel Alive With Energy, Every Organ And Vessel And Muscle In My Body Singing At The Same Pitch. Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

His Eyes Search The Crowd Until They Find My Face. My Heartbeat Lives In My Throat; Lives In My Cheeks. "i Still Don't Understand," He Says Softly, "how She Knew That It Would Work.

I Have Done Bad Things. I Can't Take Them Back, And They Are Part Of Who I Am. Most Of The Time, They Seem Like The Only Thing I Am.

I Love You" I Say. "i Love You, Too" He Says. "i'll See You Soon.

I Feel His Heartbeat Against My Cheek,as Fast As My Own. "are You Afraid Of Me, Too, Tobias?" "terrified," He Replies With A Smile.

It's When You're Acting Selflessly That You Are At Your Bravest." --four In Divergent

The Cruelty Of Fate Is That I Must Travel With The People I Hate When The People I Love Are Dead Behind Me.

I Belong To The People I Love, And They Belong To Me--they, And The Love And Loyaty I Give Them, Form My Identity Far More Than Any Word Or Group Ever Could.

We Can’t Survive Alone, But Even If We Could, We Wouldn't Want To.

If Utopian Fiction Became The New Trend, I Wouldn't Read It.

Just As I Have Insisted On His Worth, He Has Always Insisted On My Strength, Insisted That My Capacity Is Greater Than I Believe. And I Know, Without Being Told, That's What Love Does, When It's Right-it Makes You More Than You Were, More Than You Thought You Could Be. This Is Right.

If We Stay Together, I'll Have To Forgive You Over And Over Again, And If You're Still In This, You'll Have To Forgive Me Over And Over Again Too. So Forgiveness Isn't The Point. What I Really Should Have Been Trying To Figure Out Is Whether We Were Still Good For Each Other Or Not

Everyone Has To Blame Something For The Way The World Is.

Inquisitiveness Is Self-serving, Johanna. -marcus Eaton

Though He Does Not Touch Me, He Steadies Me.

My Tris Should Look Pale And Small--she Is Pale And Small, After All--but Instead The Room Is Full Of Her.

It Would Be Nice If Life Worked This Way, Stripping The Dirt From Our Lives And Sending Us Back Out Into The World Clean. But Some Dirt Is Destined To Lingered.

Without Thinking, I Grab Al's Arm And Squeeze It As Tightly As I Can. I Just Need Something To Hold On To. Blood Runs Down The Side Of Christina's Face And Splatters On The Ground Next To Her Cheek. This Is The First Time I Have Ever Prayed For Someone To Fall Unconscious.... Al Frees His Hand And Pulls Me Tight To His Side. I Clench My Teeth To Keep From Crying Out.

But Now I’m Wondering If I Need It Anymore, If We Ever Really Need These Words, “dauntless,” “erudite,” “divergent,” “allegiant,” Or If We Can Just Be Friends Or Lovers Or Siblings, Defined Instead By The Choices We Make And The Love And Loyalty That Binds Us.

How Can You Fail A Test You Aren't Allowed To Prepare For?

Why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?

Sometimes, The Best Way To Help Someone Is Just To Be Near Them.

Someone Shouts, "enough!" And I Think Too Much And Nothing At All.

Why Do You Say Vague Things If You Don't Want To Be Asked About Them?

"you Die, I Die Too.” Tobias Looks Over His Shoulder At Me. “i Asked You Not To Do This. You Made Your Decision. These Are The Repercussions."

Sometimes Crying Or Laughing Are The Only Options Left, And Laughing Feels Better Right Now.

That's The First Time I've Ever Said Those Words Out Loud, And Now I Hear How Strange They Are. How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Instead Them? People Are Supposed To Fear Others, Not Themselves.

If Eric Thinks I Did Something Right, I Must Have Done It Wrong.

The Candor Sing The Praises Of The Truth, But They Never Tell You How Much It Costs.

This Concept Could Easily Have Gone Awry. Stories About Love Tend To Go That Way Sometimes. They Wander Into The Realm Of Cheese And Never Return, Which I Think Is A Shame, Because There Is A Way To Write About Romantic Love Without Breaking Out The Velveeta.

How Is It I Know This Little About The Boy Who Says He Loves Me -- The Boy Whose Real Name Is Powerful Enough To Keep Us Alive In A Train Car Full Of Enemies?

And I'm The Kind Of Person Who Does Not Let Inconsequential Things Like Boys And Near Death Experiences Stop Her.

There Is Power In Controlling Something That Can Do So Much Damage - In Controlling Something, Period.

Leave Her Out Of This" "why? Because You're Doing Her? Oh Wait, I Forgot. Stiffs Don't Do That Sort Of Thing

You Know, There's A Word For Big, Strong Men Who Attack Women, And It's Coward.

Tris.” I Keep Staring. “tris.” I Finally Look At Him. “i Just Don’t Want To Lose You.

I Don’t Know What World You Live In, But In Mine, People Only Do Things For You For One Of Two Reasons. The First Is If They Want Something In Return. And The Second Is If They Feel Like They Owe You Something.

His Absence Will Haunt Their Hallways, And He Will Be A Space They Can't Fill. And Then Time Will Pass, And The Hole Will Be Gone, Like When An Organ Is Removed And The Body's Fluids Flow Into The Space It Leaves. Humans Can't Tolerate Emptiness For Long.

It's Not About Being Fearless, It's About Acting In Spite Of Fear

I Was So Afraid That We Would Just Keep Colliding Over And Over Again If We Stayed Together, And That Eventually The Impact Would Break Me. But Now I Know I Am Like The Blade And He Is Like The Whetstone- I Am Too Strong To Break So Easily, And I Become Better, Sharper, Every Time I Touch Him.

People, Even Genetically Damaged People, Make Choices. That’s What Matters.’

I Feel Empty, Not Because Of Sadness, But Because Of Relief, All The Tension Flowing Out Of Me.

We Kiss Again And This Time, It Feels Familiar. I Know Exactly How We Fit Together, His Arm Around My Waist, My Hands On His Chest, The Pressure Of His Lips On Mine. We Have Each Other Memorized.

Soon I Will Honor My Parents By Dying As They Died. And If All They Believed About Death Was True, Soon I Will Join Them In Whatever Comes Next.

We're All Right, You Know,' He Says Quietly. 'you And Me. Okay?' My Chest Aches, And I Nod. 'nothing Else Is All Right.' His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. 'but We Are.

I Am A Naturally Curious Person. -tris

I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

At First Eric Stares At Four In Silence. Four Stares Back.

Four!" I Call Out. Why Am I Calling A Number? Oh Yes. Because That's His Name. — Tris.

My Father Has A Way Of Persuading People Without Charm That Has Always Confused Me. He States His Opinions As If They’re Facts, And Somehow His Complete Lack Of Doubt Makes You Believe Him. That Quality Frightens Me Now, Because I Know What He Told Me: That I Was Broken, That I Was Worthless, That I Was Nothing. How Many Of Those Things Did He Make Me Believe?

Ignore Them. They Don't Know What It Is To Make A Difficult Decision." "you Wouldn't Have Done It, I Bet." "that Is Only Because I Have Been Taught To Be Cautious When I Don't Know All The Information, And You Have Been Taught That Risks Can Produce Great Rewards.

By The Time We Leave, I Have Red Lips And Curled Eyelashes, And I’m Wearing A Bright Red Dress. And There’s A Knife Strapped To The Inside Of My Knee. This All Makes Perfect Sense.

I Look Older. Maybe It's The Short Hair Or Maybe It's Just That I Wear All That Has Happened Like A Mask. Either Way, I Always Thought I Would Be Happy When I Stopped Looking Like A Child. But All I Feel Is A Lump In My Throat. I Am No Longer The Daughter My Parents Knew. They Will Never Know Me As I Am Now.

Four Sits Down On The Edge Of The Carousel, Leaning Against A Plastic Horse's Foot. His Eyes Lift To The Sky, Where There Are No Stars, Only A Round Moon Peking Through A Thin Layer Of Clouds. The Muscles In His Arms Are Relaxed; His Hand Rests On The Back Of His Neck. He Looks Almost Comfortable, Holding That Gun To His Shoulder. I Close My Eyes Briefly. Why Does He Distract Me So Easily? I Need To Focus.

You Can't Be Fearless, Remember? Because You Still Care About Things. About Your Life.

Really? I Thought The Transfers Will Go Through Four’s Landscape,” Says Uriah. “like He Would Let Anyone Do That,” She Says, Snorting. Something Inside Me Gets Warm And Soft. He Let Me Go Through It.

It Is A Gift. You Cannot Earn It, Or It Ceases To Be A Gift.

Since I Was Young, I Have Always Known This: Life Damages Us, Every One. We Can’t Escape That Damage. But Now, I Am Also Learning This: We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says. "i Love You," I Say. He Stares At Me. I Wait With My Hands Clutching His Arms For Stability As He Considers His Response. He Frowns At Me. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say, "i Love You."

Don’t Tell Me You’re Going To Eat A Mashed-potato Sandwich

Mashed Potatoes

Maybe Dauntless Was Formed With Good Intentions, With The Right Ideals And The Right Goals. But It Has Strayed Far From Them. And The Same Is True Of Erudite, I Realize. A Long Time Ago, Erudite Pursued Knowledge And Ingenuity For The Sake Of Doing Good. Now They Pursue Knowledge And Ingenuity With Greedy Hearts. I Wonder If The Other Factions Suffer From The Same Problem. I Have Not Thought About It Before.

I Have To Admit That Christina Is Good—though I Don’t Like Giving Credit To Candor Smart-mouths—and So Is Peter—though I Don’t Like Giving Credit To Future Psychopaths.

What?" I Ask. "i'm Developing A Theory." "and It Is?" She Picks Up Her Hamburger, Grins, And Says, "that You Have A Death Wish.

I Know I Belong In Dauntless Because Everything I Did In That Aptitude Test Told Me So. I'm Loyal To My Faction For That Reason -- Because There's Nowhere Else I Could Possibly Be. But Her? And You?" She Shakes Her Head. "i Have No Idea Who You're Loyal To. And I'm Not Going To Pretend Like Everything's Okay.

He Pulls Me Over The Railing And Against His Chest, Gathering Me Into His Arms, Easing An Arm Under My Knees. I Press My Face Into His Shoulder, And There Is A Sudden, Hollow Silence.

He Is Not Sweet Or Gentle Or Particularly Kind. But He Is Smart And Brave, And Even Though He Saved Me, He Treated Me Like I Was Strong. That Is All I Need To Know.

I'll Have To Keep Looking For More Of Them, More Brief Moments Of Freedom In A World That Refuses To Allow It.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up

It's Not That I Ever Sat Down And Outlined A Trilogy, But I Always Have A Sense Of What Size An Idea Is When I Start It.

Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion.

I Am A Child. I Am Two Feet Tall, And Asking If She Loves Me.

Some People Believe That I Will Go Nowhere, And Maybe They're Right, But Maybe They're Not.

Out Of My Peripheral Vision, I See Four Shove The Door Open And Walk Out. Apparently This Fight Isn't Interesting Enough For Him. Or Maybe He's Going To Figure Out Why Everything's Spinning Like A Top, And I Don't Blame Him; I Want To Know The Answer Too.

A Breeze Blows Through The Alley, Pushing Me To One Side, And I Think Of Scaling The Ferris Wheel With Tobias. He Kept Me Steady Then. There Is No One Left To Keep Me Steady Now.

I Feel Bare. I Didn't Realize I Wore My Secrets As Armor Until They Were Gone And Now Everyone Sees Me As I Really Am.

Like A Wild Animal, The Truth Is Too Powerful To Remain Caged.

Do I Look Like I’ve Been Crying?’ I Say. ‘hmm.’ He Leans In Close, Narrowing His Eyes Like He’s Inspecting My Face. A Smile Tugs At The Corner Of His Mouth. Even Closer, So We Would Be Breathng The Same Air- If I Could Remember To Breathe. ‘no, Tris,’ He Says. A More Serious Look Replaces His Smile As He Adds, ‘you Look Tough As Nails.

She Smiles.her Teeth Are Crooked. If I Knocked Them Out,i Might Be Doing Her A Favor.

Don’t Worry About Me Handling The Pain," I Say. "i’ve Had A Lot Of Practice.

Before We Sit Down, He Puts His Mouth Next To My Ear And Says, “i Like Your Hair That Way.

I Forget That He Is Another Person; Instead It Feels Like He Is Another Part Of Me, Just As Essential As A Heart Or An Eye Or An Arm.

I Love You." He Frowns. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say. "i Love You.

Tris: Wait. So You Have No Idea What My Aptitude Is? Tori: Yes And No. My Conclusion Is That You Display Equal Aptitude For Abnegation, Dauntless And Erudite. People Who Get This Kind Of Result Are..are Called...divergent.

Peter: Where Are You Two Going? Tris: Why Aren't You With Your Attack Group Eating Dinner? Peter: I Don't Have One. I'm Injured. Christina: Yeah Right, You Are! Peter: Well, I Don't Want To Go To Battle With A Bunch Of Factionless. So I'm Going To Stay Here. Christina: Like A Coward. Let Everyone Else Clean Up The Mess For You. Peter: Yep! Have Fun Dying.

No Factions? A World In Which No One Knows Who They Are Or Where They Fit? I Can't Even Fathom It. I Imagine Only Chaos And Isolation.

It's Not Sacrifice If It's Someone Else's Life You're Giving Away, It's Just Evil.

I Will Be My Undoing, If I Become My Obsession. I Will Forget The Ones I Love, If I Do Not Serve Them. I Will War With Others, If I Refuse To See Them. Therefore, I Choose To Turn Away From My Reflection, To Rely Not On Myself But On My Brothers And Sisters, To Project Always Outward Until I Disappear [and Only God Remains.]

Caleb Runs Up To Me And Folds Me Carefully In His Arms. I Breathe A Sigh Of Relief. I Thought I Had Gotten To The Point Where I Didn’t Need My Brother Anymore, But I Don’t Think Such A Point Actually Exists.

You Are Far Less Likely To Soil Your Pants And Cry For Your Mother If You’re Prepared To Defend Yourself.

It’s Not A Perfect Situation. But When You Have To Choose Between Two Bad Options, You Pick The One That Saves The People You Love And Believe In Most. You Just Do. Okay?

Al Walks In, And I Don't Even Have To Ask Him To Help Me, He Just Walks Over And Strips Bedding With Me. I Will Have To Scrub The Frame Later. Al Carries The Stack Of Sheets To The Trash And Together We Walk Toward The Training Room. "ignore Him," Al Says. "he's An Idiot, And If You Don't Get Angry, He'll Stop Eventually.

You're Too Important To Just... Die.

Awkwardness Aside, It's Nice To Be Liked.

We Believe In Shouting For Those Who Can Only Whisper, In Defending Those Who Cannot Defend Themselves.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says.

And Now That You Are Out? How Does The World Seem To You?" He Says. "mostly The Same," I Say. "people Are Just Divided By Different Things, Fighting Different Wars.

I Guess I Always Knew There Was Something Wrong With Me, But I Thought It Was Because Of My Father, Or My Mother, And The Pain They Bequeathed To Me Like A Family Heirloom, Handed Down From Generation To Generation. - Tobias Eaton

And He’s Right To Say That Every Faction Loses Something When It Gains A Virtue: The Dauntless, Brave But Cruel; The Erudite, Intelligent But Vain; The Amity, Peaceful But Passive; The Candor, Honest But Inconsiderate; The Abnegation, Selfless But Stifling.

A Brave Man Acknowledges The Strength Of Others.

Those Who Blamed Aggression Formed Amity.’… ‘those Who Blamed Ignorance Became The Erudite.’… ‘those Who Blamed Duplicity Created Candor.’… ‘those Who Blamed Selfishness Made Abnegation.’… ‘and Those Who Blamed Cowardice Were The Dauntless.

I Feel Myself Acting Like A Lunatic, But I Can't Stop. It Would Be Like Refusing To Breathe.

I Met Him While I Was Imprisoned," I Say, And My Voice Sounds Far Away Even To Me. "i Was Just Curious." "i Wouldn't Judge Him Too Harshly," Says Fernando. "jeanine Can Be Extraordinarily Persuasive To Those Who Aren't Naturally Suspicious. I Have Always Been Naturally Suspicious." ... "yeah," I Say. "so Have I.

He Pushes His Hair, Soaked From The Snow, Out Of His Eyes. "so What Are We Going To Do, Break A Window? Look For A Back Door?" "i'm Just Going To Walk In," I Say. "i'm Her Son." "you Also Betrayed Her And Left The City When She Forbade Anyone From Doing That," He Says, "and She Sent People After You To Stop You. People With Guns." "you Can Stay Here If You Want," I Say. "where The Serum Goes, I Go," He Says. "but If You Get Shot At, I'm Going To Grab It And Run." "i Don't Expect Anything More." He Is A Strange Sort Of Person.

You Think Giving You A Hug Would Give Away Too Much?" He Says. "you Know," I Say. "i Really Don't Care." I Stand On My Tiptoes And Press My Lips To His. It Is The Best Moment Of My Life.

I Keep Finding Myself Stifled By The Company Of Others And Then Crippled By Loneliness When I Leave Them. I Am Terrified And I Don't Even Know Of What, Because I Have Lost Everything Already.

Lost Everything

Sometimes I See Him As Just Another Person, And Sometimes I Feel The Sight Of Him In My Gut, Like A Deep Ache.

I Tell Myself, As Sternly As Possible, That Is How Things Work Here. We Do Dangerous Things And People Die. People Die, And We Move On To The Next Dangerous Thing. The Sooner That Lesson Sinks In, The Better Chance I Have At Surviving Initiation.

One Choice Can Transform You. One Choice Can Destroy You. Once Choice Will Define You.

The Division Is Based On Knowledge, Based On Qualifications - But As I Learned From The Factionless, A System That Relies On A Group Of Uneducated People To Do Its Dirty Work Without Giving Them A Way To Rise Is Hardly Fair.

I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

Part Of Me Wonders If This Is A Suicide Mission Disguised As A Game.

You Promised You Wouldn't Tell Her," She Says, Pointing At Me. "what Happened To Protecting Her?" "i Changed My Mind," I Say. Tris Laughs, Harshly,"that's What You Told Him, That He Would Be Protecting Me? That's A Pretty Skillful Manipulation. Well Done.

What Irritates Me Most About Him Is His Natural Goodness, His Inborn Selflessness.

I Am Collecting The Lessons Each Faction Has To Teach Me, And Storing Them In My Mind Like A Guidebook For Moving Through The World. There Is Always Somthing To Learn, Always Somthing That Is Important To Understand

Change, Like Healing, Takes Time.

I Stare At Him. I Feel My Heartbeat Everywhere, Even In My Toes. I Feel Like Doing Something Bold, But I Could Just As Easily Walk Away. I Am Not Sure Which Option Is Smarter, Or Better. I Am Not Sure That I Care.

Politeness Is Deception In Pretty Packaging.

I'm Divergent. And I Can't Be Controlled.

My Parents Did Love Each Other. Enough To Forsake Plans And Factions. Enough To Defy “faction Before Blood.” Blood Before Faction--no, Love Before Faction, Always. - Tris Prior

Uriah Drops His Tray Next To Me. It Is Loaded With Beef Stew And Chocolate Cake. I Stare At The Cake Pile. “there Was Cake?” I Say, Looking At My Own Plate, Which Is More Sensibly Stocked Than Uriah’s. “yeah, Someone Just Brought It Out. Found A Couple Boxes Of The Mix In The Back And Baked It,” He Says. “you Can Have A Few Bites Of Mine.” “a Few Bites? So You’re Planning On Eating That Mountain Of Cake By Yourself?” “yes.” He Looks Confused. “why?” “never Mind.

What Do--" Tobias's Voice. Tobias! "oh My God. Oh--" "spare Me Your Blubbering, Okay? Peter Says. "she's Not Dead; She's Just Paralyzed. It'll Only Last For About A Minute. Now Get Ready To Run." I Don't Understand. How Does Peter Know? "let Me Carry Her," Tobias Says. "no. You're A Better Shot Than I Am. Take My Gun. I'll Carry Her.

It's Strange How A Word, A Phrase, A Sentence, Can Feel Like A Blow To The Head.

Arrogance Is One Of The Flaws In The Erudite Heart -- I Know. It Is Often In Mine.

We Believe In Bravery. We Believe In Taking Action. We Believe In Freedom From Fear And In Acquiring The Skills To Force The Bad Out Of Our World So That The Good Can Prosper And Thrive. If You Also Believe In Those Things, We Welcome You.

He Told Me Once To Be Brave, And Though I Have Stood Still While Knives Spun Toward My Face And Jumped Off A Roof, I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

I Should Wonder What Courage—which Is The Virtue They Most Value—has To Do With A Metal Ring Through Your Nostril.

I Look Out The Window Again, Taking Slow, Deep Breaths Into A Body Too Tense To Move. And As I Stare Out At The Land, I Think That This, If Nothing Else, Is Compelling Evidence For My Parents’ God, That Our World Is So Massive That It Is Completely Out Of Our Control, That We Cannot Possibly Be As Large As We Feel. -tris Prior

When You're A Teenager, Everything Seems Like The End Of The World, And I Don't Think That's Necessarily A Silly Thing. You're Waking Up And Becoming Aware That The World Has Problems And Those Problems Affect You, Whereas When You're Young They Don't Seem To Affect You That Much Even If You're Aware Of Them. This Dystopian Trend Picks Up On That Little Part Of Your Life Where Everything Feels Really Extreme And It Honors That Part Of Your Life And Says, "yeah. It Is The End Of The World. Look At It."

This Is How We Came By Our Factions: Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation And Dauntless." Max Smiles. "in Them We Find Administrators And Teachers And Counselors And Leaders And Protectors. In Them We Find Our Sense Of Belonging, Our Sense Of Community, Our Very Lives.

I Also Wanted To Ask You If We Can Talk To The Erudite You're Keeping Safe Here," I Say. "i Know They're Hidden, But I Need Access To Them." "and What Do You Intend To Do?" She Says. "shoot Them," I Say, Rolling My Eyes. "that Isn't Funny.

In Our Factions, We Find Meaning, We Find Purpose, We Find Life.

People Talk About The Pain Of Grief, But I Don't Know What They Mean. To Me, Grief Is A Devastating Numbness, Every Sensation Dulled.

When I Look At The Abnegation Lifestyle As An Outsider, I Think It’s Beautiful. When I Watch My Family Move In Harmony; When We Go To Dinner Parties And Everyone Cleans Together Afterward Without Having To Be Asked; When I See Caleb Help Strangers Carry Their Groceries, I Fall In Love With This Life All Over Again.

Falling In Love

I Am Better Off Doing As Abnegation Taught Me: Turning Away From Myself, Projecting Always Outward, And Hoping That In Whatever Is Next, I Will Be Better Than I Am Now.

It Is Amazing How Pretending To Be In A Different Faction Changes Everything -- Even The Way I Walk. That Must Be Why It's So Strange That I Could Easily Belong In Three Of Them.

Looking At Her Is Like Waking Up.

To Find That Place Between What I Want And What I Think Is Wise.

No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know.

Seeing People Who Are Actually Reading Your Book And Listening To The Wide Variety Of Reactions They Have To It, Is Really Special.

I Fell In Love With Him. But I Don't Just Stay With Him By Default As If There's No One Else Available To Me. I Stay With Him Because I Choose To, Every Day That I Wake Up, Every Day That We Fight Or Lie To Each Other Or Disappoint Each Other. I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

You Know, Most Boys Would Enjoy Being Trapped In Close Quarters With A Girl." I Roll My Eyes. "not Claustrophobic People, Tris.

One Choice One Choice, Decided Your Friends. One Choice, Defines Your Beliefs. One Choice, Determines Your Loyalties - Forever. Once Choice Can Transform You

He Holds My Face In Both Hands And Kisses Me Back. I Press Into The Distance Between Us Until It Is Gone, Crushing The Secrets We Have Kept And The Suspicions We Have Harbored-for Good, I Hope.

I Expect To Weave Through The Crowd, Dodging Elbows And Muttering "excuse Me" The Way I Always Do, But There Is No Need. Becoming Dauntless Has Made Me Noticable.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

Well, Half Of Half Our Faction.' 'in Some Circles They Call That A Quarter, Mar,' Lynn Says.

We May Both Be Bad, But There’s A Huge Difference Between Us—i’m Not Content With Being This Way.

Learning How To Think In The Midst Of Fear Is A Lesson That Everyone Needs To Learn.

You Look Older.” “yes, Well. The Passage Of Time Tends To Do That To A Person.

Passage Of Time

You've Never Had A Hamburger Before?" Asks Christine, Her Eyes Wide. "no," I Say. "is That What It's Called?" "stiffs Eat Plain Food," Four Says, Nodding At Christina. "why?" She Asks. I Shrug. "extravagance Is Considered Self-indulgent And Unnecessary." She Smirks. "no Wonder You Left." "yeah," I Say,rolling My Eyes. "it Was Just Because Of The Food." The Corner Of Four's Mouth Twitches.

Fear," She Says, "is More Powerful Than Pain.

I Love 'harry Potter.' I'm A Huge Nerd - I Would Dress Up If I Could.

I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest.

It's Stupid To Miss A Thing When There Are So Many People To Miss Instead, But I Miss This Train Already, And All The Others That Carried Me Through The City, My City, After I Was Brave Enough To Ride Them. I Brush My Fingers Over The Car Wall, Just Once, And Then Jump.

It's Like He Knows, He Knows I Have A Thing For Her.

Okay. Then...i Can Talk. Ask Me Something." "okay." He Laughs Shakily In My Ear. "why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?" I Cringe And Say, "well, I...i Barely Know You. I Barely Know You And I'm Crammed Up Against You In A Box, Four, What Do You Think?"... "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor," He Says, "because You're A Terrible Liar.

Cruelty Does Not Make A Person Dishonest, The Same Way Bravery Does Not Make A Person Kind.

Four: Be Brave Tris. The First Time Is Always The Hardest.

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

Blood Is A Strange Color. It's Darker Than You Expect It To Be.

Lies Require Commitment.

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