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I Met Him While I Was Imprisoned," I Say, And My Voice Sounds Far Away Even To Me. "i Was Just Curious." "i Wouldn't Judge Him Too Harshly," Says Fernando. "jeanine Can Be Extraordinarily Persuasive To Those Who Aren't Naturally Suspicious. I Have Always Been Naturally Suspicious." ... "yeah," I Say. "so Have I.

-Veronica Roth

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I Met Him While

Veronica Roth

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I Met Him While I Was Imprisoned," I Say, And My Voice Sounds Far Away Even To Me. "i Was Just Curious." "i Wouldn't Judge Him Too Harshly," Says Fernando. "jeanine Can Be Extraordinarily Persuasive To Those Who Aren't Naturally Suspicious. I Have Always Been Naturally Suspicious." ... "yeah," I Say. "so Have I.

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As A Teenager, I Put A Lot Of Pressure On Myself, And A Lot Of That, For Me, Was About Finding A Moral High Ground. As I've Grown Up, I've Decided To Abandon That Because It Made Me Judgmental And Also Stressed Me Out.

Moral High Ground

Candor Does Not Provide Us With Protection, Sustenance, Or Technological Innovation. Therefore You Are Expendable To Us.

I Wasn't Good Enough For Abnegation," I Say, "and I Wanted To Be Free. So I Chose Dauntless." "why Weren't You Good Enough?" "because I Was Selfish." I Say. "you Were Selfish? You Aren't Anymore?" "of Course I Am. My Mother Said That Everyone Is Selfish," I Say, "but I Became Less Selfish In Dauntless. I Discovered There Were People I Would Fight For. Die For, Even.

And He’s Right To Say That Every Faction Loses Something When It Gains A Virtue: The Dauntless, Brave But Cruel; The Erudite, Intelligent But Vain; The Amity, Peaceful But Passive; The Candor, Honest But Inconsiderate; The Abnegation, Selfless But Stifling.

For Me, It Feels Like Driving From Truth Into A Lie, From Adulthood To Childhoold. I Watch The Land Of Pavement And Glass And Metal Turn Into An Empty Field. The Snow Is Falling Softly Now, And I Can Faintly See The City's Skyline Up Ahead, The Buildings Just A Shade Darker Than The Clouds.

It's Time To Be With My Brother Now

I Would Be Shocked By The Lack Of Security If We Were Not At Amity Headquarters. They Often Straddle The Line Between Trust And Stupidity.

Somewhere Inside Me Is A Merciful, Forgiving Person. Somewhere There Is A Girl Who Tries To Understand What People Are Going Through, Who Accepts That People Do Evil Things And That Desperation Leads Them To Darker Places Than They Ever Imagined, I Swear She Exists, And She Hurts For The Repentant Boy I See In Front Of Me. But If I Saw Her, I Wouldn't Recognize Her.

Sometimes It Isn't Fighting That's Brave, Its Facing The Death You Know Is Coming.

Being Selfless Is Not That Different From Being Brave. It Is When You Are Selfless That You Are The Bravest.

If We Stay Together, I'll Have To Forgive You Over And Over Again, And If You're Still In This, You'll Have To Forgive Me Over And Over Again Too. So Forgiveness Isn't The Point. What I Really Should Have Been Trying To Figure Out Is Whether We Were Still Good For Each Other Or Not

Relax Beatrice, I've Driven A Car Before.' Marcus 'i've Done A Lot Of Things Before, But That Doesn't Mean I'm Any Good At Them!' Tris

Too Bad You Didn't Just Take Max Up On His Offer, Four. Well, Too Bad For You, Anyway," Says Eric Quietly As He Clicks The Bullet Into Its Chamber. My Lungs Burn; I Haven't Breathed In Almost A Minute. I See Tobias's Hand Twitch In The Corner Of My Eye, But My Hand Is Already On My Gun. I Press The Barrel To Eric's Forehead. His Eyes Widen, And His Face Goes Slack, And For A Second He Looks Like Another Sleeping Dauntless Soldier. My Index Finger Hovers Over The Trigger. "get Your Gun Away From His Head," I Say. "you Won't Shoot Me," Eric Replies. "interesting Theory. " I Say.

In Order To Have Peace, We Must First Have Trust.

Cruelty Does Not Make A Person Dishonest, The Same Way Bravery Does Not Make A Person Kind.

Maybe There's More We All Could Have Done, But We Just Have To Let The Guilt Remind Us To Do Better Next Time.

His Hands Skim My Bare Arms. “just Bounce A Little When You Walk,” He Says, Kissing My Forehead, “and Pretend You’re Afraid Of Their Guns” —another Kiss Between My Eyebrows— “and Act Like The Shrinking Violet You Could Never Be ”—a Kiss On My Cheek— “and You’ll Be Fine.

But Now, I Am Also Learning This: We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other.

When I Get Home, I Sit On The Front Step And Take Deep Breaths Of The Cool Spring Air For A Few Minutes. My Mother Was The One Who Taught Me To Steal Moments Like Those, Moments Of Freedom, Though She Didn't Now It. I Watched Her... But I Learned Something Else From Watching Her Too, Which Is That The Free Moments Always Have To End.

I Am A Naturally Curious Person. -tris

Because Life Is Not Fair, Albert. And The World Is Conspiring Against You.

Come On,'he Says.' I Have Something Else To Show You.

Tobias And Tris

It's Strange How Time Can Make A Place Shrink, Make Its Strangeness Ordinary.

His Eyes Search The Crowd Until They Find My Face. My Heartbeat Lives In My Throat; Lives In My Cheeks. "i Still Don't Understand," He Says Softly, "how She Knew That It Would Work.

I Decide To Do What I Always Do When I'm Not Sure What's Going On: I Act Like Everyone Else.

She Wanted Us To Have More Than Five Choices. Now We Have None.

I Have Discovered That Sitting Still Leaves Little Spaces For The Grief To Get In, So I Stay Busy.

It Doesn't Take Skill To Stand In A Place Were No Bullets Find You, Or To Fire Into The Dark And Hit A Man You Didn't See.

Lies Require Commitment.

Oh For God's Sake. I'll Just Carry You.

Before We Sit Down, He Puts His Mouth Next To My Ear And Says, “i Like Your Hair That Way.

I Don't Want To Stop You. I Want You To Stop Yourself.

He Kisses Me Again, More Insistent This Time, His Hands Squeezing My Waist. His Breaths, His Body, My Body, We Are So Close There Is No Difference.

I Slowly Realized That Perfectionism Just Not That Important. What's More Important Is To Try To Love The People Around You. Whatever That Means At A Particular Time Is The Best You Can Do.

I Try To Catch My Breath And Calm Myself Down, But It Isn't Easy. I Was Dead. I Was Dead, And Then I Wasn't, And Why? Because Of Peter? Peter? I Stare At Him. He Still Looks So Innocent, Despite All That He Has Done To Prove That He Is Not. His Hair Lies Smooth Against His Head, Shiny And Dark, Like We Didn't Just Run For A Mile At Full Speed. His Round Eyes Scan The Stairwell And Then Rest On My Face. "what?" He Says. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" " How Did You Do It?" I Say.

I Was Born For Abegnation. I Was Planning On Leaving Dauntless, And Becoming Factionless. But Then I Met 'her', And...i Felt Like Maybe I Could Make Something More Of My Decision.

Don't Confuse Your Grief With Guilt.

Four: Be Brave Tris. The First Time Is Always The Hardest.

When You're A Writer, You Hear Your Internal Critic, And That's Really Hard To Get Over. And Then Sometimes You Hear Critiques From Classmates And Stuff. But When A Book Comes Out, It's Just Hundreds Of Opinions And You Have To Learn To Separate Out The Ones You Want To Listen To Or Figure Out Many You Want To Listen To.

I Glance At Tris. She Grins At Me, Then Leans In To Whisper Something To Christina. "are You Here To Help Or What, Stiff?" I Say.

At First Eric Stares At Four In Silence. Four Stares Back.

She Walks Away, And I Am Too Stunned To Follow Her. At The End Of The Hallways She Turns And Says, "have A Piece Of Cake For Me, All Right? The Chocolate. It's Delicious." She Smiles A Strange, Twisted Smile, And Adds," I Love You, You Know." And Then She's Gone. I Stand Alone In The Blue Light Coming From The Lamp Above Me, And I Understand: She Has Been To The Compound Before. She Remembered This Hallways. She Knows About The Initiation Process. My Mother Was A Dauntless.

Arrogance Is One Of The Flaws In The Erudite Heart -- I Know. It Is Often In Mine.

I Realize That The Decision Might Be Simple. It Will Require A Great Act Of Selflessness To Choose Abnegation, Or A Great Act Of Courage To Choose Dauntless, And Maybe Just Choosing One Over The Other Will Prove That I Belong.

Yes," She Says, Her Eyes Bright With Tears. "my Dear Child, You've Done So Well.

People, Even Genetically Damaged People, Make Choices. That’s What Matters.’

Tris: Wait. So You Have No Idea What My Aptitude Is? Tori: Yes And No. My Conclusion Is That You Display Equal Aptitude For Abnegation, Dauntless And Erudite. People Who Get This Kind Of Result Are..are Called...divergent.

And Now That You Are Out? How Does The World Seem To You?" He Says. "mostly The Same," I Say. "people Are Just Divided By Different Things, Fighting Different Wars.

Honesty Leads To Peace.

All I Can Do Is Stand Still- I Feel Like If I Just Stand Still, I Can Stop It From Being True, I Can Pretend That Everything Is All Right.

His Fingers Slide Into My Hair, And I Hold On To His Arms To Stay Steady As We Press Together Like Two Blades At A Stalemate. He Is Stronger Than Anyone I Know, And Warmer Than Anyone Else Realizes; He Is A Secret That I Have Kept, And Will Keep For The Rest Of My Life.

How Can You Fail A Test You Aren't Allowed To Prepare For?

They Died For Me,” I Say. That Feels Important

I Brought You The Truth About Our City And The Reason We Are In It. If You Aren't Thanking Me For It, You Should At Least Do Something About It Instead Of Sitting Here On This Mess You Made, Pretending It's A Throne!

The Candor Sing The Praises Of The Truth, But They Never Tell You How Much It Costs.

It Would Be Nice If Life Worked This Way, Stripping The Dirt From Our Lives And Sending Us Back Out Into The World Clean. But Some Dirt Is Destined To Lingered.

His Fingers Leave Streaks Of Cold On My Skin, Invisible To The Eye, And I Think About Wrapping His Shirt Around My Fist And Pulling Him In To Kiss Me; I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

Take Away Someone’s Fear, Or Low Intelligence, Or Dishonesty . . . And You Take Away Their Compassion. Take Away Someone’s Aggression And You Take Away Their Motivation, Or Their Ability To Assert Themselves. Take Away Their Selfishness And You Take Away Their Sense Of Self-preservation.

You're Afraid Of Heights,'i Say. 'how Do You Survive In The Dauntless Compound?' 'i Ignore My Fear,' He (four) Says. 'when I Make Decisions, I Pretend It Doesn't Exist.

I Catch Myself Thinking 'thank God For This' Out Of Habit, And Then I Understand What He's So Concerned About. What If My Parents' God, Their Whole Belief System, Is Just Something Concocted By A Bunch Of Scientists To Keep Us Under Control? And Not Just Their Beliefs About God And Whatever Else Is Out There, About Right And Wrong, About Selfishness?

What's This About Flashing Underwear?" Says Uriah, Sidestepping A Bunk. "whatever It Is, I'm In.

I Fell In Love With Him. But I Don't Just Stay With Him By Default As If There's No One Else Available To Me. I Stay With Him Because I Choose To, Every Day That I Wake Up, Every Day That We Fight Or Lie To Each Other Or Disappoint Each Other. I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

Why Are You Constantly Escorting Me Places?” I Say. “isn’t There A Depraved Activity You’re Supposed To Be Taking Part In? Kicking Puppies Or Spying On Girls While They Change, Or Something?

I Think Romance Is Friendship And Attraction Sort Of Meeting Together And That Does Influence What I'm Writing A Lot. I Try To Establish The Attraction, Obviously, But I Also Think It's Important To Show The Characters Having Actual Conversations About Things Other Than Their Feelings For Each Other - And To Develop Their Friendship On The Page.

Do I Look Like I’ve Been Crying?’ I Say. ‘hmm.’ He Leans In Close, Narrowing His Eyes Like He’s Inspecting My Face. A Smile Tugs At The Corner Of His Mouth. Even Closer, So We Would Be Breathng The Same Air- If I Could Remember To Breathe. ‘no, Tris,’ He Says. A More Serious Look Replaces His Smile As He Adds, ‘you Look Tough As Nails.

You Were Afraid Of Shooting People?" "no," I Say. "i Was Afraid Of My Considerable Capacity To Kill." How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Inside Of Them?

But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

A Breeze Blows Through The Alley, Pushing Me To One Side, And I Think Of Scaling The Ferris Wheel With Tobias. He Kept Me Steady Then. There Is No One Left To Keep Me Steady Now.

I Hold The Gun Out From My Body, My Arms Straight, Just As Four Taught Me, When That Was His Only Name. I Used A Gun Like This To Defend My Father And Brother From Simulation-bound Dauntless. I Used It To Stop Eric From Shooting Tobias In The Head. It Is Not Inherently Evil. It Is Just A Tool.

Trust Me When I Tell You, Eaton Boy, That Resisting Is Worth Doing.

In The Days That Follow, It's Movement, Not Stillness, That Helps To Keep The Grief At Bay.

Four!" I Call Out. Why Am I Calling A Number? Oh Yes. Because That's His Name. — Tris.

I Pause A Second. He Doesn't Look At Me The Way Will, Christina, And Al Sometimes Do - Like I Am Too Small And Too Weak To Be Of Any Use, And They Pity Me For It.

Drink This," She Says. "what Is It?" My Throat Feels Swollen. I Swallow Hard. "what's Going To Happen?" "can't Tell You That. Just Trust Me." I Press Air From My Lungs And Tip The Contents Of The Vial Into My Mouth. My Eyes Close.

You're The One Who Has To Live With Your Choice, Everyone Else Will Get Over It, Move On, No Matter What You Decide. But You Never Will

I’m Not Anyone,” He Says. “i’m Nobody. That’s What Being Factionless Is.

Divergent Series

Are You Conceding?' He Says, His Mouth Falling Open With Mock Surprise. 'seems Like That Serum Did You Some Good After All...' I Shove Him As Hard As I Can. 'take That Back. Take It Back Now.' 'okay, Okay!' He Puts Up His Hands. 'it's Just... I'm Not Very Nice Either, You Know. That's Why I Like You So- ' 'out!' I Shout, Pointing At The Door.

I Love You," I Say. I Said That Once, Before I Went To Erudite Headquarters, But He Was Asleep Then. I Don't Know Why I Didn't Say It When He Could Hear It. Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion. Or Afraid That I Did Not Know What It Was To Love Someone. But Now I Think The Scary Thing Was Not Saying It Before It Was Too Late. Not Saying It Before It Was Almost Too Late For Me.

I Feel A Thread Tugging Me Again, But This Time I Know That It Isn’t Some Sinister Force Dragging Me Toward Death. This Time I Know It’s My Mother's Hand, Drawing Me Into Her Arms. And I Go Gladly Into Her Embrace.

Do Remember, Though, That Sometimes The People You Oppress Become Mightier Than You Would Like.

The Floor Is Solid Metal In Some Places And Metal Grating In Others. Everything Smells Like Rotting Garbage And Fire. "don't Say I Never Took You Anywhere Nice," Peter Says. "wouldn't Dream Of It," I Say.

I Love The Wikipedia Link Chain Because It Has Led Me Into Some Strange Articles. Wikipedia Is One Of My Favorites.

There's Really No Way To Be Perfect. Perfectionism Is A Silly Trait To Have, So In A Lot Of Ways That Inspired The World Of 'divergent,' In Which Everyone Is Striving Toward That Ideal And Falling Short Of It.

So Now We All Know," Says Four, Quietly, "that You Are Afraid Of A Short, Skinny Girl From Abnegation." His Mouth Curls Into A Smile.

No Need To Continually Insist Upon Your Unshakable Masculinity.

Let Me Get This Straight. So You Left The Dauntless Compound To Get Ready For War... And Took Your Makeup Bag With You?" "yep. Figured It Would Be Harder For Anyone To Shoot Me If They Saw How Devastatingly Attractive I Was.

The Official Strategy Is Defensive Pessimism, Always.

I'm Sick Of Doing Bad Things And Liking It And Then Wondering What's Wrong With Me. I Want It To Be Over. I Want To Start Again.

Yesterday He Told Me He Thought I Would Have To Pretend To Be Weak, But He Was Wrong. I Am Weak Already. I Brace Myself Against The Wall And Press My Forehead To My Hands. It’s Difficult To Take Deep Breaths, So I Take Short, Shallow Ones. I Can’t Let This Happen. They Attacked Me To Make Me Feel Weak. I Can Pretend They Succeeded To Protect Myself, But I Can’t Let It Become True.

You Nearly Died Today,' He Says. 'i Almost Shot You. Why Didn't You Shoot Me, Tris?' 'i Couldn't Do That,' I Say. 'it Would Have Been Like Shooting Myself.' He Looks Pained And Leans Closer To Me, So His Lips Brush Mine When He Speaks.

They Try To Make You Think They Care About What You Do But They Don't. They Don't Want You To Act A Certain Way. So You're Easy To Understand. So You Won't Pose A Threat To Them.

Well, I Already Know What Happened To My Face", I Say. "i Was There. Sort Of

Do It Fast, You Pansycake.

Not Like Tobias, Who Is Almost Shy When He Smiles, Like He Is Surprised You Bothered To Look At Him In The First Place.

Eric Called Al's Suicide Brave, And He Was Wrong. My Mother's Death Was Brave. I Remember How Calm She Was, How Determined. It Isn't Just Brave That She Died For Me; It Is Brave That She Did It Without Announcing It, Without Hesitation, And Without Appearing To Consider Another Option.

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says. "i Love You," I Say. He Stares At Me. I Wait With My Hands Clutching His Arms For Stability As He Considers His Response. He Frowns At Me. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say, "i Love You."

Do You Know Him Well?" I Ask.i Am Too Curious; I Always Have Been. "everyone Knows Four," She Says. "we Were Initiates Together.i Was Bad At Fighting,so He Taught Me Every Night After Everyone Was Asleep." She Scratches The Back Of Her Neck, Her Expression Suddenly Serious. "nice Of Him." She Gets Up And Stands Behind The Members Sitting In The Doorway. In A Second, Her Serious Expression Is Gone,but I Still Feel Rattled By What She Said, Half Confused By The Idea Of Four Being "nice" And Half Wanting To Punch Her For No Apparent Reason.

I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

But I Killed A Man Just Like My Mother Did. David Says It’s Okay Because I Didn’t Mean To, And Because He Was About To Kill That Little Kid. But I’m Pretty Sure My Mom Didn’t Mean To Kill My Dad, Either, So What Difference Does That Make, Meaning Or Not Meaning To Do Something? Accident Or On Purpose, The Result Is The Same, And That’s One Fewer Life Than There Should Be In The World.

I Love Tris The Divergent, Who Makes Decisions Apart From Faction Loyalty, Who Isn’t Some Faction Archetype. But The Tris Who’s Trying As Hard As She Can To Destroy Herself … I Can’t Love Her.

Sometimes Drastic Change Requires Drastic Measures.

I Feel Bare. I Didn't Realize I Wore My Secrets As Armor Until They Were Gone And Now Everyone Sees Me As I Really Am.

Soon I Will Honor My Parents By Dying As They Died. And If All They Believed About Death Was True, Soon I Will Join Them In Whatever Comes Next.

I’d Rather Eat Out Of A Can Than Be Strangled By A Faction.

Divergent Series

There Is Always Somthing To Learn, Always Somthing That Is Important To Understand

When You're A Teenager, Everything Seems Like The End Of The World, And I Don't Think That's Necessarily A Silly Thing. You're Waking Up And Becoming Aware That The World Has Problems And Those Problems Affect You, Whereas When You're Young They Don't Seem To Affect You That Much Even If You're Aware Of Them. This Dystopian Trend Picks Up On That Little Part Of Your Life Where Everything Feels Really Extreme And It Honors That Part Of Your Life And Says, "yeah. It Is The End Of The World. Look At It."

I Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i'm Waiting Until I'm Sure To Tell You, Though.

Yes," I Say. "three Of These Flying Birds." I Touch My Collarbone, Marking The Path Of Their Flight - Toward My Heart. One For Each Member Of The Family I Left Behind.

I Have Done Bad Things. I Can't Take Them Back, And They Are Part Of Who I Am. Most Of The Time, They Seem Like The Only Thing I Am.

Scrubbing The Floor When No One Else Wanted To Was Something That My Mother Would Have Done. If I Can't Be With Her, The Least I Can Do Is Act Like Her Sometimes.

Don’t Tell Me You’re Going To Eat A Mashed-potato Sandwich

Mashed Potatoes

I Understand Why She Did All Those Things, But That Doesn't Mean We Aren't Still Broken.

I Expect To Weave Through The Crowd, Dodging Elbows And Muttering "excuse Me" The Way I Always Do, But There Is No Need. Becoming Dauntless Has Made Me Noticable.

I Feel Empty, Not Because Of Sadness, But Because Of Relief, All The Tension Flowing Out Of Me.

Nothing Else Is All Right.” His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. “but We Are.

"you Die, I Die Too.” Tobias Looks Over His Shoulder At Me. “i Asked You Not To Do This. You Made Your Decision. These Are The Repercussions."

It Reminds Me Why I Chose Dauntless In The First Place: Not Because They Are Perfect, But Because They Are Alive. Because They Are Free.

You Want Him To Walk?" Caleb Demands. "are You Insane?" "did I Shoot Him In The Leg?" I Say. "no. He Walks. Where Do We Go, Peter?

I Feel Like What I Have Become Is Halfway Between My Mother And My Father, Violent And Impulsive And Desperate And Afraid. I Feel Like I Have Lost Control Of What I Have Become.

You Don’t Believe Things Because They Make Your Life Better, You Believe Them Because They’re True.

Becoming Fearless Isn't The Point. That's Impossible. It's Learning How To Control Your Fear, And How To Be Free From It.

I Look Older. Maybe It's The Short Hair Or Maybe It's Just That I Wear All That Has Happened Like A Mask. Either Way, I Always Thought I Would Be Happy When I Stopped Looking Like A Child. But All I Feel Is A Lump In My Throat. I Am No Longer The Daughter My Parents Knew. They Will Never Know Me As I Am Now.

Some Things Are Hard To Let Go Of.

Yeah, Well," I Say, "i Left Abnegation Because I Wasn't Selfless Enough, No Matter How Hard I Tried To Be." "that's Not Entirely True." He Smiles At Me. "that Girl Who Let Someone Throw Knives At Her To Spare A Friend, Who Hit My Dad With A Belt To Protect Me-that Selfless Girl, That's Not You?"... "you've Been Paying Close Attention, Haven't You?" "i Like To Observe People/" "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor, Four, Because You're A Terrible Liar.

Did You Just Call Me Beatrice?

Why Did You Do It?" I Say. "you Want Me Dead. You Were Willing To Do It Yourself! What Changed?" He Presses His Lips Together And Doesn't Look Away, Not For A Long Time. Then He Opens His Mouth, Hesitates, And Finally Says, " I Can't Be In Anyone's Debt. Okay? The Idea That I Owed You Something Made Me Sick. I Would Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night Feeling Like I Was Going To Vomit. Indebted To A Stiff? It's Ridiculous. Absolutely Ridiculous. And I Couldn't Have It.

Is There Any Other Way To Erudite Headquarters?" I Say. "not That I Now Of," Says Cara. "unless You Want To Jump From One Roof To Another." She Laughs A Little As She Says It, Like It's A Joke. I Raise My Eyebrows At Her. "wait," She Says. "you Aren't Considering---?

In Our Factions, We Find Meaning, We Find Purpose, We Find Life.

I Can’t Answer Either Question. But The Look She Gives Me Reminds Me Of The Look In The Attack Dog’s Eyes In The Aptitude Test – A Vicious, Predatory Stare. She Wants To Rip Me To Pieces. I Can’t Lie Down In Submission Now. I Have Become An Attack Dog Too.

My Tris Should Look Pale And Small--she Is Pale And Small, After All--but Instead The Room Is Full Of Her.

How Strange That Something So Simple Could Have Been Instrumental In My Decision To Ruin One Of My Most Relationships And Friendships, And Damage Another.

I Wake Wondering How I Did Not Notice, Every Day I Sat Across From Her At The Breakfast Table, That She Was Full To Bursting With Dauntless Energy. Was It Because She Hid It Well? Or Was It Because I Wasn't Looking?

I Wonder If This Is How Is Is With All Evil Men, That To Someone, They Look Just Like Good Men, Talk Like Good Men, Are Just As Likable As Good Men.

I Love You." He Frowns. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say. "i Love You.

Some People Believe That I Will Go Nowhere, And Maybe They're Right, But Maybe They're Not.

The Only Reason I Haven't Shot You Yet Is Because He's The One Who Should Get To Do It," I Say. "stay Away From Him Or I'll Decide I No Longer Care.

He Told Me Once To Be Brave, And Though I Have Stood Still While Knives Spun Toward My Face And Jumped Off A Roof, I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

Color Fills Her Cheeks, And I Think It Again: That Johanna Reyes Might Still Be Beautiful. Except Now I Think That She Isn't Just Beautiful In Spite Of The Scar, She's Somehow Beautiful With It, Like Lynn With Her Buzzed Hair, Like Tobias With The Memories Of His Father's Cruelty That He Wears Like Armor, Like My Mother In Her Plain Gray Clothing.

I Breathe In. The Water Will Wash My Wounds Clean. I Breathe Out. My Mother Submerged Me In Water When I Was A Baby, To Give Me To God. It Has Been A Long Time Since I Thought About God, But I Think About Him Now. It Is Only Natural. I Am Glad, Suddenly, That I Shot Eric In The Foot Instead Of The Head.

She Believes That Tobias Belongs To Her Now. She Doesn't Know The Truth, That He Belongs To Himself.

You Promised You Wouldn't Tell Her," She Says, Pointing At Me. "what Happened To Protecting Her?" "i Changed My Mind," I Say. Tris Laughs, Harshly,"that's What You Told Him, That He Would Be Protecting Me? That's A Pretty Skillful Manipulation. Well Done.

Sometimes I Feel Like There Is So Much To Be Afraid Of, And Sometimes I Feel Like There Is Nothing Left To Fear.

I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

But There's So Much That Was A Lie, It's Hard To Figure Out What Was True, What Was Real, What Matters.

I Notice, However, That Peter Only Pretends To Inject Himself—when He Presses The Plunger Down, The Fluid Runs Down His Throat, And He Wipes It Casually With A Sleeve. I Wonder What It Feels Like To Volunteer To Forget Everything.

Forget Everything

My Body Rises With The Water. Instead Of Kicking My Feet To Stay Abreast Of It, I Push All The Air From My Lungs And Sink To The Bottom. The Water Muffles My Ears. I Feel Its Movement Over My Face. I Think About Snorting The Water Into My Lungs So It Kills Me Faster, But I Can't Bring Myself To Do It. I Blow Bubbles From My Mouth. Relax. I Close My Eyes. My Lungs Burn.

The Man Running Toward Me Is Not A Man, He Is A Boy. A Shaggy-haired Boy With A Crease Between His Eyebrows. Will. Dull-eyed And Mindless, But Still Will. He Stops Running And Mirrors Me, His Feet Planted And His Gun Up. In An Instant, I See His Finger Poised Over The Trigger And Hear The Bullet Slide Into The Chamber, And I Fire. My Eyes Squeezed Shut. Can't Breathe. The Bullet Hit Him In The Head. I Know Because That's Where I Aimed It.

I Am Still The Person Who Would Have Died Rather Than Kill You

The Amity Established This Place As A Safe House. No Conflict Allowed." "the Amity Will Have Trouble Enforcing That Policy," Says Marcus. "how Do You Stop Conflict Without Conflict?

When Her Body First Hit The Net, All I Registered Was A Gray Blur. I Pulled Her Across It And Her Hand Was Small, But Warm, And Then She Stood Before Me, Short And Thin And Plain And In All Ways Unremarkable- Except That She Had Jumped First. The Stiff Had Jumped First. Even I Didn't Jump First. Her Eyes Were So Stern, So Insistent. Beautiful.

I Don’t Know What World You Live In, But In Mine, People Only Do Things For You For One Of Two Reasons. The First Is If They Want Something In Return. And The Second Is If They Feel Like They Owe You Something.

Fighting For Survival In A Shattered World... The Truth Is Her Only Hope.

Some People Will Always Fear Change. But We Can't Indulge Them.

From One Tyrant To Another. That Is The World We Know, Now

It's When You're Acting Selflessly That You Are At Your Bravest." --four In Divergent

You May Have Succeeded In Shutting Down The Attack Simulation, Girl, But It Was By Luck Alone, Not Skill. I Would Die Of Shock If You Managed To Do Anything Useful Again For A Long Time" This Is The Marcus That Tobias Knows. The One Who Knows Right Where To Hit To Cause The Most Damage.

No Factions? A World In Which No One Knows Who They Are Or Where They Fit? I Can't Even Fathom It. I Imagine Only Chaos And Isolation.

My Heart Beats So Hard It Hurts, And I Can't Scream And I Can't Breathe, But I Also Feel Everything, Every Vein And Every Fiber, Every Bone And Every Nerve, All Awake And Buzzing In My Body As If Charged With Electricity. I Am Pure Adrenaline.

Out Of My Peripheral Vision, I See Four Shove The Door Open And Walk Out. Apparently This Fight Isn't Interesting Enough For Him. Or Maybe He's Going To Figure Out Why Everything's Spinning Like A Top, And I Don't Blame Him; I Want To Know The Answer Too.

Ignore Them. They Don't Know What It Is To Make A Difficult Decision." "you Wouldn't Have Done It, I Bet." "that Is Only Because I Have Been Taught To Be Cautious When I Don't Know All The Information, And You Have Been Taught That Risks Can Produce Great Rewards.

I Only Came For Cake" -tobias Eaton, Divergent

She Has Been To The Compound Before. She Remembered This Hallway. She Knows About The Initiation Process. My Mother Was Dauntless.

I Laugh, Mirthless, A Mad Laugh. I Savor The Scowl On Her Face, The Hate In Her Eyes. She Was Like A Machine; She Was Cold And Emotionless, Bound By Logic Alone. And I Broke Her.

That's Why You Like Me!' I Exclaim. 'because You're Not Nice Either! It Makes So Much More Sense Now.' 'come On,' He Says. 'we're Going To See Johanna.' 'i Like You, Too.' 'that's Encouraging,' He Replies Flatly. 'come On. Oh For God's Sake. I'll Just Carry You.

I Don't See Any Elderly People In The Crowd. Are There Any Old Dauntless? Do They Not Last That Long, Or Are They Just Sent Away When They Can't Jump Off Moving Trains Anymore?

I Feel Acutely Aware Of How Young I Am. In A Way That Is Good. It's Productive. It Makes Me Realise That I Should Be Growing As A Writer And A Person.

I Am His, And He Is Mine, And It Has Been That Way All Along.

I Kiss Him As The Train Slides Into Unlit, Uncertain Land. I Kiss Him For As Long As I Want, For Longer Than I Should, Given That My Brother Sits Three Feet Away From Me.

Al Walks In, And I Don't Even Have To Ask Him To Help Me, He Just Walks Over And Strips Bedding With Me. I Will Have To Scrub The Frame Later. Al Carries The Stack Of Sheets To The Trash And Together We Walk Toward The Training Room. "ignore Him," Al Says. "he's An Idiot, And If You Don't Get Angry, He'll Stop Eventually.

What Is Wrong With You?' I Shake My Head. 'pull It Together.' And That's What It Feels Like: Pulling The Different Parts Of Me Up And In Like A Shoelace. I Feel Suffocated, But At Least I Feel Strong.

This Is Bizarre," I Say. "i Think It's Beautiful," He Says. I Give Him A Look. "what?" He Laughs A Little. "they Each Have An Equal Role In Government; They Each Feel Equally Responsible. And It Makes Them Care; It Makes Them Kind. I Think That's Beautiful.

Tris," Said Tobias. "i Love You

Any Idiot Can Stand In Front Of A Target," I Say. "it Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall Is A Sign Of Cowardice" "then It Should Be Easy For You," Eric Sys. "if You're Willing Ot Take His Place.

Can You Tell Me Where To Find Tobias'? I Ask. When I Imagine His Face, Affection For Him Bubbles Up Inside Of Me And All I Want To Do Is Kiss Him. 'four, I Mean. He's So Handsome, Isn't He? I Don't Really Understand Why He Likes Me So Much. I'm Not Very Nice, Am I?' -tris

All That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

I Used To Think About Giving My Life Up For Things, But I Didn't Understand What 'giving Your Life' Really Was Until It Was Right There, About To Be Taken From Me

He Looks Like A Man Who Has Spent Most Of His Life Frowning.

You Are Far Less Likely To Soil Your Pants And Cry For Your Mother If You’re Prepared To Defend Yourself.

Thank You For Your Honesty.

It's Strange To See People You Don't Know Well In The Morning, With Sleepy Eyes And Pillow Creases In Their Cheeks

Human Reason Can Excuse Any Evil; That Is Why It's So Important That We Don't Rely On It.

We Both Have War Inside Us. Sometimes It Keeps Us Alive. Sometimes It Threatens To Destroy Us.

It's Not About Being Fearless, It's About Acting In Spite Of Fear

I Started Writing Because I Decided I Was Too Old To Play Pretend In The Backyard. Then I Found That I Could Create Those Imaginary Worlds On The Page.

Grief Is Not As Heavy As Guilt, But It Takes More Away From You.

Because There Might Come A Day When There Is No Flashlight, There Is No Gun, There Is No Guiding Hand. And I Want To Be Ready For It." (divergent Pg.138)

Caleb," I Say, "i Love You." His Eyes Gleam With Tear As He Says, "i Love You, Too, Beatrice.

Two Things You Should Know About Me; The First Is That I Am Deeply Suspicious Of People In General. It Is My Nature To Expect The Worst Of Them. And The Second Is That I Am Unexpectedly Good With Computers.

What Irritates Me Most About Him Is His Natural Goodness, His Inborn Selflessness.

We're All Right, You Know,' He Says Quietly. 'you And Me. Okay?' My Chest Aches, And I Nod. 'nothing Else Is All Right.' His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. 'but We Are.

I Met Him While I Was Imprisoned," I Say, And My Voice Sounds Far Away Even To Me. "i Was Just Curious." "i Wouldn't Judge Him Too Harshly," Says Fernando. "jeanine Can Be Extraordinarily Persuasive To Those Who Aren't Naturally Suspicious. I Have Always Been Naturally Suspicious." ... "yeah," I Say. "so Have I.

But I Understand Now What Tori Said About Her Tattoo Representing A Fear She Overcame-a Reminder Of Where She Was, As Well As A Reminder Of Who She Is Now. Maybe There Is A Way To Honor My Old Life As I Embrace My New One. "yes," I Say. "three Of These Flying Birds." I Touch My Collarbone, Marking The Path Of Their Flight-toward My Heart. One For Each Member Of The Family I Left Behind.

You Don’t Always Have To Smack People In The Face With How Strong You Are

We've All Started To Put Down The Virtues Of The Other Factions In The Process Of Bolstering Our Own. I Don't Want To Do That. I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest." He Clears His Throat. "i Continually Struggle With Kindness.

That Night We Push Our Cots Just A Little Closer Together, And Look Into Each Other's Eyes In The Moments Before We Fall Asleep. When He Finally Drifts Off, Our Fingers Are Twisted Together In The Space Between The Beds. I Smile A Little, And Let Myself Go.

The Gun Goes Off. I Fall.

You Always Look Like Someone's Sucked The Life Right Out Of You When Something Fascinates You. -tris

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says.

I Point At A Window To My Left, And It Explodes. Particles Of Glass Rain Over Us. ‘you’ll Have To Do Better Than That,' I Say.

My Dear Girl. I Am His Family. I Am Permanent. You Are Only Temporary.

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Richard P. Feynman

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