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I Try To Catch My Breath And Calm Myself Down, But It Isn't Easy. I Was Dead. I Was Dead, And Then I Wasn't, And Why? Because Of Peter? Peter? I Stare At Him. He Still Looks So Innocent, Despite All That He Has Done To Prove That He Is Not. His Hair Lies Smooth Against His Head, Shiny And Dark, Like We Didn't Just Run For A Mile At Full Speed. His Round Eyes Scan The Stairwell And Then Rest On My Face. "what?" He Says. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" " How Did You Do It?" I Say.

-Veronica Roth

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I Try To Catch

Veronica Roth

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I Try To Catch My Breath And Calm Myself Down, But It Isn't Easy. I Was Dead. I Was Dead, And Then I Wasn't, And Why? Because Of Peter? Peter? I Stare At Him. He Still Looks So Innocent, Despite All That He Has Done To Prove That He Is Not. His Hair Lies Smooth Against His Head, Shiny And Dark, Like We Didn't Just Run For A Mile At Full Speed. His Round Eyes Scan The Stairwell And Then Rest On My Face. "what?" He Says. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" " How Did You Do It?" I Say.

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Then His Eyes Focus On Something Over My Shoulder, And He Starts Walking. I Turn To See Uriah Jogging From The Elevator Bank. He Is Grinning. “heard A Rumor You Were A Dirty Traitor,” Uriah Says. “yeah, Whatever,” Says Zeke. They Collide In An Embrace That Looks Almost Painful To Me, Slapping Each Other’s Backs And Laughing With Their Fists Clasped Between Them.

It's Like He Knows, He Knows I Have A Thing For Her.

Why Do People Want To Pretend That Death Is Sleep? It Isn't. It Isn't.

Suicide To Them Is An Act Of Selfishness. Someone Who Is Truly Selfless Does Not Think Of Himself Often Enough To Desire Death.

I Suppose A Fire That Burns That Bright Is Not Meant To Last.

To Live Factionless Is Not Just To Live In Poverty And Discomfort; It Is To Live Divorced From Society, Separated From The Most Important Thing In Life: Community. My Mother Once Told Me That We Can’t Survive Alone,but Even If We Could, We Wouldn’t Want To. Without A Faction, We Have No Purpose And No Reason To Live.

No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know.

Life Damages Us, Every One. We Can't Escape That Damage.

I Was Born For Abegnation. I Was Planning On Leaving Dauntless, And Becoming Factionless. But Then I Met 'her', And...i Felt Like Maybe I Could Make Something More Of My Decision.

I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

Dead People Can Be Our Heroes Because They Can't Disappoint Us Later; They Only Improve Over Time, As We Forget More And More About Them.

Abnegation Produces Deeply Serious People. People Who Automatically See Things Like Need,” He Says. “i’ve Noticed That When People Switch To Dauntless, It Creates Some Of The Same Types. Erudite Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Turn Cruel And Brutal. Candor Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Become Boisterous, Fight-picking Adrenaline Junkies. And Abnegation Who Switch To Dauntless Become . . . I Don’t Know, Soldiers, I Guess. Revolutionaries.

He Pus His Lips Next To My Ear And Says, “you Look Good, Tris.

I Have Done Bad Things. I Can't Take Them Back, And They Are Part Of Who I Am. Most Of The Time, They Seem Like The Only Thing I Am.

Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

I Figured I Would Shoot The Bullets Out Of My Nostrils, So I Left [the Gun] Upstairs.

If The Dauntless Knew About This, Everyone Would Be Getting In Line To Learn How To Drive It,” He Says. “including Me.” “no, They Would Be Strapping Themselves To The Wings.” Christina Pokes His Arm. “don’t You Know Your Own Faction?

He Should Be The One To Die, Part Of Me Thinks. I Don't Want To Lose Him, Another Part Argues. I Don't Know Which Part To Believe.

Cowardice Is How You Decide To Be In Real Life

So Small As To Be Negligible. It's Strange, But There's Something In That Thought That Makes Me Feel Almost...free.

This Was The First Place I Everfelt Strong. Every Time I Breathe This Air I Feel It Again.

Morning," I Say. "shh," She Says. "if You Don't Acknowledge It, Maybe It Will Go Away.

But When You Kill Someone You Love, The Hard Part Is Never Over. It Just Gets Easier To Distract Yourself From What You've Done.

Someone You Love

You Know What Abnegation Used To Say About Pride?' 'something Unfavorable,i Assume.' I Laugh.' Obviously. They Said It Blinds People To The Truth Of What They Are.

I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest.

Looks Like Someone Had A Mood Swing.” She Rolls Her Eyes. “like You Don’t Want To Know What His Fears Are. He Acts So Tough That He’s Probably Afraid Of Marshmallows And Really Bright Sunrises Or Something.

I Have Your Back. I Didn't Mean Only When It's Easy. All The Time.

I Have Realized That Part Of Being Dauntless Is Being Willing To Make Things More Difficult For Yourself In Order To Be Self-sufficient. There's Nothing Especially Brave About Wandering Dark Streets With No Flashlight, But We Are Not Supposed To Need Help, Even From Light. We Are Supposed To Be Capable Of Anything. I Like That. Because Their Might Come A Day When There Is No Flashlight, There Is No Gun, There Is No Guiding Hand. And I Want To Be Ready.

It's Not Often Real That You Encounter The Real Person Behind A Good-natured Mask, The Darkest Part Of Someone. It's Not Comfortable What You Do.

"what Did You Do?” This Time The Question Tears From My Throat Like A Growl. I Throw Myself Toward Him. “what Did You Do?” I Scream. “you Die, I Die Too. I Asked You Not To Do This. You Made Your Decision. These Are The Repercussions."

I Feel Like Someone Is Pressing Me Into A Mold That Does Not Fit My Body, Forcing Me Intothe Wrong Shape.

I Expect To Weave Through The Crowd, Dodging Elbows And Muttering "excuse Me" The Way I Always Do, But There Is No Need. Becoming Dauntless Has Made Me Noticable.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up

I Have Something I Need To Tell You," He Says. I Run My Fingers Along The Tendons In His Hands And Look Back At Him. "i Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i'm Waiting Until I'm Sure To Tell You, Though." "that's Sensible Of You," I Say, Smiling Too. "we Should Find Some Paper So You Can Make A List Or A Chart Or Something." I Feel His Laughter Against My Side, His Nose Sliding Along My Jaw, His Lips Pressing My Ear. "maybe I'm Already Sure," He Says, "and I Just Don't Want To Frighten You." I Laugh A Little. "then You Should Know Better." "fine," He Says. "then I Love You.

It's Strange To See People You Don't Know Well In The Morning, With Sleepy Eyes And Pillow Creases In Their Cheeks

It's Not That I Ever Sat Down And Outlined A Trilogy, But I Always Have A Sense Of What Size An Idea Is When I Start It.

How Strange That Something So Simple Could Have Been Instrumental In My Decision To Ruin One Of My Most Relationships And Friendships, And Damage Another.

Why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?

Shh,” I Say. “arms Around Me.” Obediently, He Slips Both Arms Around My Waist. I Smile At The Wall. I Am Not Enjoying This. I Am Not, Not Even A Little Bit, No.

Some Things Are Hard To Let Go Of.

Then Everyone Can Call You Six.” “four And Six,” I Say.

Since I Was Young, I Have Always Known This: Life Damages Us, Every One. We Can’t Escape That Damage. But Now, I Am Also Learning This: We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other.

I Shield My Eyes From The Sun To See Her Cold Look—the Expression I Saw In My Mind Even Before I Looked At Her. She Looks Older To Me Than She Ever Has, Stern And Tough And Worn By Time. I Feel That Way, Too. “these People Have No Regard For Human Life,” She Says. “they’re About To Wipe The Memories Of All Our Friends And Neighbors. They’re Responsible For The Deaths Of A Large Majority Of Our Old Faction.” She Sidesteps Me And Marches Toward The Door. “i Think They’re Lucky I’m Not Going To Kill Them.

I’m Not Anyone,” He Says. “i’m Nobody. That’s What Being Factionless Is.

Divergent Series

She Must Love Me, To Worry About Me. She Must Still Be Capable Of Love.

Take A Person’s Memories, And You Change Who They Are.

Tris," Said Tobias. "i Love You

I Don't Need To Relive My Fears Anymore. All I Need To Do Now Is Try To Overcome Them.

He Is Not Sweet Or Gentle Or Particularly Kind. But He Is Smart And Brave, And Even Though He Saved Me, He Treated Me Like I Was Strong. That Is All I Need To Know.

That’s One Way Of Looking At It. I Prefer To Look At It Another Way—which Is That If They Are Persistent Enough, Even Tiny Drops Of Water, Over Time, Can Change The Rock Forever. And It Will Never Change Back.

Human Beings As A Whole Cannot Be Good For Long Before The Bad Creeps Back In And Poisons Us Again.

My Name Is Four,” I Say. “call Me ‘stiff’ Again And You And I Will Have A Problem.

And Is It Selfish Of Me To Crave Victory, Or Is It Brave?

An Artist Gives. Gives Visually, Gives Through Courses, Or With Free Advice, Through Generosity Of Spirit And Through A Need To Share.

There Are So Many Ways To Be Brave In This World. Sometimes Bravery Involves Laying Down Your Life For Something Bigger Than Yourself, Or For Someone Else. Sometimes It Involves Giving Up Everything You Have Ever Known, Or Everyone You Have Ever Loved, For The Sake Of Something Greater. But Sometimes It Doesn't. Sometimes It Is Nothing More Than Gritting Your Teeth Through Pain, And The Work Of Every Day, The Slow Walk Toward A Better Life. That Is The Sort Of Bravery I Must Have Now.

I Have Realized That Part Of Being Dauntless Is Being Willing To Make Things More Difficult For Yourself In Order To Be Self-sufficient.

My Problem Might Be That Even If I Did Go Home, I Wouldn’t Belong There, Among People Who Give Without Thinking And Care Without Trying.

I Am Afraid Of Her, Afraid Of What She Says-and Thrilled By It Too, Because It Means I Don't Have To Accept That I Am Smaller Than I Once Believed.

I Am Better Off Doing As Abnegation Taught Me: Turning Away From Myself, Projecting Always Outward, And Hoping That In Whatever Is Next, I Will Be Better Than I Am Now.

People Tend To Overestimate My Character," I Say Quietly. "they Think That Because I'm Small, Or A Girl, Or A Stiff, I Can't Possibly Be Cruel. But They're Wrong.

Christina,'i Say,'the Factionless Have All The Guns.

Peter Would Probably Throw A Party If I Stopped Breathing.' 'well,' He Says, 'i Would Only Go If There Was Cake.

A Chasm Reminds Us That There Is A Fine Line Between Bravery And Idiocy.

It Reminds Me Why I Chose Dauntless In The First Place: Not Because They Are Perfect, But Because They Are Alive. Because They Are Free.

I Am His, And He Is Mine, And It Has Been That Way All Along.

I Suppose Everything Is Bound To Look Different When You Aren't On Your Way To Die.

He Slides His Hand Over My Cheek, One Finger Anchored Behind My Ear. Then He Tilts His Head Down And Kisses Me, Sending A Warm Ache Through My Body. I Wrap My Hands Around His Arm, Holding Him There As Long As I Can. When He Touches Me, The Hollowed-out Feeling In My Chest And Stomach Is Not As Noticeable.

I Will Be My Undoing If I Become My Obsession.

I Do Know Who You Are. I Just Needed To Be Reminded.

Nothing Else Is Alright. But We Are. -tobias

I Can’t Leave Now. I Like Her Too Much. There, I Said It. But I Won’t Say It Again.

Change, Like Healing, Takes Time.

Trust Me When I Tell You, Eaton Boy, That Resisting Is Worth Doing.

Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion.

You're The One Who Has To Live With Your Choice, Everyone Else Will Get Over It, Move On, No Matter What You Decide. But You Never Will

I Hear Footsteps And Four's Hands Wrap Around My Wrists. I Let Him Pry My Hands From My Eyes. He Encloses One Of My Hands Perfectly Between Two Of His. The Warmth Of His Skin Overwhelms The Ache In My Fingers From Holding The Bars. "you All Right?" He Asks, Pressing Our Hands Together. "yeah." He Starts To Laugh.

You Look Older.” “yes, Well. The Passage Of Time Tends To Do That To A Person.

Passage Of Time

Though I Know That He Had Something To Do With The Attack Simulation, And With All Those Deaths, I Find It Difficult To Pair Those Actions With The Man I See In Front Of Me. I Wonder If This Is How It Is With All Evil Men, That To Someone, They Look Just Like Good Men, Talk Like Good Men, Are Just As Likeable As Good Men.

Four!" I Call Out. Why Am I Calling A Number? Oh Yes. Because That's His Name. — Tris.

Since He Saved Me From The Attack, I Have Associated His Smell With Safety, So As Long As I Focus On It, I Feel Safe Now.

Someone Shouts, "enough!" And I Think Too Much And Nothing At All.

We Are Not The Same. But We Are, Somehow, One.

Independent And Uninvolved. Must Be Nice. -tris

It Is Amazing How Pretending To Be In A Different Faction Changes Everything -- Even The Way I Walk. That Must Be Why It's So Strange That I Could Easily Belong In Three Of Them.

Don’t Worry About Me Handling The Pain," I Say. "i’ve Had A Lot Of Practice.

If I Let A Little Of The Emotion Out, All Of It Will Come Out, And It Will Never End.

Be Careful, Though." "aren't I Always?" "no, I Think The Word For How You Usually Are Is 'reckless.

And He’s Right To Say That Every Faction Loses Something When It Gains A Virtue: The Dauntless, Brave But Cruel; The Erudite, Intelligent But Vain; The Amity, Peaceful But Passive; The Candor, Honest But Inconsiderate; The Abnegation, Selfless But Stifling.

"but Please, When You See An Opportunity..." He Presses His Hand To My Cheek, Cold And Strong, And Tilts My Head Up So I Have To Look At Him. His Eyes Glint. They Almost Look Predatory. "ruin Them."

Where's Marcus, Destroyer Of Lives, Going To Meet Us?

What's This About Flashing Underwear?" Says Uriah, Sidestepping A Bunk. "whatever It Is, I'm In.

Every Tattoo I Got With Them Is A Mark Of Their Friendship, And Almost Every Time I Have Laughed In This Dark Place Was Because Of Them. I Don’t Want To Lose Them. But I Feel Like I Have Already.

You're Not Very Nice," I Say, Grinning. "you're One To Talk." "hey, I Could Be Nice If I Tried." "hmm." He Taps His Chin. "say Something Nice, Then." "you're Very Good-looking." He Smiles, His Teeth A Flash In This Dark. "i Like This 'nice' Thing.

The Truth Has A Way Of Changing People's Plans.

The Serum Wears Off Five Hours Later, When The Sun Is Just Beginning To Set. Tobias Shut Me In My Room For The Rest Of The Day, Checking On Me Every Hour. This Time When He Comes In, I Am Sitting On The Bed, Glaring At The Wall. “thank God,” He Says, Pressing His Forehead To The Door. “i Was Beginning To Think It Would Never Wear Off And I Would Have To Leave You Here To … Smell Flowers, Or Whatever You Wanted To Do While You Were On That Stuff.

There Are So Many Ways To Be Brave In This World. Sometimes It Involves Giving Up Everything You Have Ever Known, Or Everyone You Have Ever Loved For The Sake Of Something Greater.

I Understand Why She Did All Those Things, But That Doesn't Mean We Aren't Still Broken.

Whoa There, Tobias," Says The Man To My Left. "weren't You Raised A Stiff? I Thought The Most You People Did Was... Graze Hands Or Something." "then How Do You Explain All The Abnegation Children?" Tobias Raises His Eyebrows. "they Are Brought Into Being By Sheer Force Of Will," The Woman On The Arm Of The Chair Interjects. "didn't You Know That, Tobias?" "no, I Wasn't Aware." He Grins. "my Apologies.

I Realize That The Decision Might Be Simple. It Will Require A Great Act Of Selflessness To Choose Abnegation, Or A Great Act Of Courage To Choose Dauntless, And Maybe Just Choosing One Over The Other Will Prove That I Belong.

She Believes That Tobias Belongs To Her Now. She Doesn't Know The Truth, That He Belongs To Himself.

I Am Proud. It Will Get Me Into Trouble Someday, But Today It Makes Me Brave

I Feel Like Someone Breathed New Air Into My Lungs. I Am Not Abnegation. I Am Not Dauntless. I Am Divergent.

How Is It I Know This Little About The Boy Who Says He Loves Me-

It's Then That I Realize: Of Course Tris Would Go Into The Weapons Lab Instead Of Caleb. Of Course She Would.

I Should Wonder What Courage—which Is The Virtue They Most Value—has To Do With A Metal Ring Through Your Nostril.

Every Faction Conditions Its Members To Think And Act A Certain Way. And Most People Do It. For Most People, It's Not Hard To Learn, To Find A Pattern Of Thought That Works And Stay That Way. But Our Minds Move In A Dozen Different Directions. We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

But I Understand Now What Tori Said About Her Tattoo Representing A Fear She Overcame-a Reminder Of Where She Was, As Well As A Reminder Of Who She Is Now. Maybe There Is A Way To Honor My Old Life As I Embrace My New One. "yes," I Say. "three Of These Flying Birds." I Touch My Collarbone, Marking The Path Of Their Flight-toward My Heart. One For Each Member Of The Family I Left Behind.

I Note How Calm She Looks And How Focused She Is. She Is Well-practiced In The Art Of Losing Herself. I Can't Say The Same Of Myself.

It Happened. It Was Awful. You Aren't Perfect. That's All There Is. Don't Confuse Your Grief With Guilt.

It’s Not A Perfect Situation. But When You Have To Choose Between Two Bad Options, You Pick The One That Saves The People You Love And Believe In Most. You Just Do. Okay?

He Looks Like A Man Who Has Spent Most Of His Life Frowning.

I See A Kind Of Thirst In Her Expression, The Same One I Saw When She Told Me About Her Brother In The Back Room Of The Tattoo Parlor. Before The Attack Simulation I Might Have Called It A Thirst For Justice, Or Even Revenge, But Now I Am Able To Identify It As A Thirst For Blood. And Even As It Frightens Me, I Understand It. Which Should Probably Frighten Me Even More.

I Cross My Arms. "it Was A Two Minute Conversation." "i Don't Think A Smaller Time Frame Makes It Less Unwise." He Furrows His Eyebrows And Touches The Corner Of My Bruised Eye With His Fingertips. My Head Jerks Back, But He Doesn't Take His Hand Away. Instead He Sighs. "you Know, If You Could Just Learn To Attack First, You Might Do Better." "attack First?" I Say. "how Will That Help?" "you're Fast. If You Can Get A Few Good Hits In Before They Know What's Going On, You Could Win." He Shrugs, And His Hand Falls.

We Kiss Again And This Time, It Feels Familiar. I Know Exactly How We Fit Together, His Arm Around My Waist, My Hands On His Chest, The Pressure Of His Lips On Mine. We Have Each Other Memorized.

What Do You Think They're Going To Do To Us When They Find Us Guilty?" She Says After A Few Minutes Of Silence Have Passed. "honestly?" "does Now Seem Like The Time For Honesty?" I Look At Her From The Corner Of My Eye. "i Think They're Going To Force Us To Eat Lots Of Cake And Then Take An Unreasonably Long Nap.

He Holds My Face In Both Hands And Kisses Me Back. I Press Into The Distance Between Us Until It Is Gone, Crushing The Secrets We Have Kept And The Suspicions We Have Harbored-for Good, I Hope.

Our Ability To Know About Ourselves And The World Is What Makes Us Human

And I Provide Much- Needed Eye Candy.

Just Do What You're Supposed To.

Why Did You Do It?" I Say. "you Want Me Dead. You Were Willing To Do It Yourself! What Changed?" He Presses His Lips Together And Doesn't Look Away, Not For A Long Time. Then He Opens His Mouth, Hesitates, And Finally Says, " I Can't Be In Anyone's Debt. Okay? The Idea That I Owed You Something Made Me Sick. I Would Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night Feeling Like I Was Going To Vomit. Indebted To A Stiff? It's Ridiculous. Absolutely Ridiculous. And I Couldn't Have It.

Oh, Are We At The Insult Part Of The Breakup?" She Says. "because I Got In A Lot Of Practice After What Happened With Will. I Have Several Choice Things To Say About Her Nose.

I Started Writing Because I Decided I Was Too Old To Play Pretend In The Backyard. Then I Found That I Could Create Those Imaginary Worlds On The Page.

I Did Not Know That My Entire Personality, My Entire Being, Could Be Discarded As The Byproduct Of My Anatomy. What If I Really Am Just Someone With A Large Prefrontal Cortex...and Nothing More?

No Matter How Long You Train Someone To Be Brave, You Never Know If They Are Or Not Until Something Real Happens.

In Some Parts Of The Ancient World, The Hawk Symbolized The Sun. Back When I Got This, I Figured If I Always Had The Sun On Me, I Wouldn't Be Afraid Of The Dark

Feel Tobias Brushing My Hair Back Before The First Simulation. I Hear Him Telling Me To Be Brave. I Hear My Mother Telling Me To Be Brave(...) I Am Brave.

I Love You." He Frowns. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say. "i Love You.

All I Can Do Is Stand Still- I Feel Like If I Just Stand Still, I Can Stop It From Being True, I Can Pretend That Everything Is All Right.

Aren’t You Going To Ask Me If I’m All Right?” I Say. “no, I’m Pretty Sure You’re Not All Right.” He Shakes His Head. “i’m Going To Ask You Not To Make Any Decisions Until We’ve Talked About It.

Your Daughter Is Doing Well Here. I've Been Overseeing Her Training." Since When Does "overseeing" Include Throwing Knives At Me And Scolding Me At Every Opportunity?

I Think You're Still The Only Person Sharp Enough To Sharpen Someone Like Me.

Sometimes Drastic Change Requires Drastic Measures.

He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog, But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice.

I Know I Belong In Dauntless Because Everything I Did In That Aptitude Test Told Me So. I'm Loyal To My Faction For That Reason -- Because There's Nowhere Else I Could Possibly Be. But Her? And You?" She Shakes Her Head. "i Have No Idea Who You're Loyal To. And I'm Not Going To Pretend Like Everything's Okay.

I Open The Door To The Fear Landscape Room And Flip Open The Small Black Box That Was In My Back Pocket To See The Syringes Inside. This Is The Box I Have Always Used, Padded Around The Needles; It Is A Sign Of Something Sick Inside Me, Or Something Brave.

Maybe There's More We All Could Have Done, But We Just Have To Let The Guilt Remind Us To Do Better Next Time.

So You're Her Brother? Says Linn. I Guess We Know Who Got The Good Genes.

It's Time To Be With My Brother Now

For Me, It Feels Like Driving From Truth Into A Lie, From Adulthood To Childhoold. I Watch The Land Of Pavement And Glass And Metal Turn Into An Empty Field. The Snow Is Falling Softly Now, And I Can Faintly See The City's Skyline Up Ahead, The Buildings Just A Shade Darker Than The Clouds.

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

Grief Is Not As Heavy As Guilt, But It Takes More Away From You.

May The Peace Of God Be With You," She Says, Her Voice Low, "even In The Midst Of Trouble." "why Would It?" I Say Softly, So No One Else Can Hear. "after All I've Done..." "it Isn't About You," She Says. "it Is A Gift. You Cannot Earn It, Or It Ceases To Be A Gift.

Candor Does Not Provide Us With Protection, Sustenance, Or Technological Innovation. Therefore You Are Expendable To Us.

I Have A Theory That Selflessness And Bravery Aren't All That Different.

I Feel Like What I Have Become Is Halfway Between My Mother And My Father, Violent And Impulsive And Desperate And Afraid. I Feel Like I Have Lost Control Of What I Have Become.

I Want People To Come Away From My Book With Questions. Questions About Virtue And Goodness. Not Answers.

You Think Giving You A Hug Would Give Away Too Much?" He Says. "you Know," I Say. "i Really Don't Care." I Stand On My Tiptoes And Press My Lips To His. It Is The Best Moment Of My Life.

At First Eric Stares At Four In Silence. Four Stares Back.

Yes," She Says, Her Eyes Bright With Tears. "my Dear Child, You've Done So Well.

Four: Be Brave Tris. The First Time Is Always The Hardest.

But That Wasn´t The First Time I Ever Saw Her. I Saw Her In The Hallways At School, And At My Mother’s False Funeral, And Walking The Sidewalks In The Abnegation Sector. I Saw Her, But I Didn’t See Her; No One Saw Her The Way She Truly Was Until She Jumped. I Suppose A Fire That Burns That Bright Is Not Meant To Last.

Dauntless,' He Says. 'i Was Born For Abnegation. I Was Planning On Leaving Dauntless, And Becoming Factionless. But Then I Met Her, And...i Felt Like Maybe I Could Make Something More Of My Decision.' Her. For A Moment, It's Like I'm Looking At A Different Person, Sitting In Tobias's Skin, One Whose Life Is Not As Simple As I Thought. He Wanted To Leave Dauntless, But He Stayed Because Of Me. He Never Told Me That.

I Smirk As Peter Misses Again. I Can't Help Myself. "hey, Peter," I Say, " Remember What A Target Is?

You Don’t Believe Things Because They Make Your Life Better, You Believe Them Because They’re True.

Can You Be A Girl For A Few Seconds?" "i'm Always A Girl" I Frown. "you Know What I Mean. Like A Silly, Annoying Girl" I Twirl My Hair Around My Finger. "kay.

Choices Can Be Made Again." -evelyn Johnson (eaton)

But Christina And I Are Not People Who Cry Together; We're People Who Fight Together. So I Hold My Tears In.

Those Who Blamed Aggression Formed Amity.’… ‘those Who Blamed Ignorance Became The Erudite.’… ‘those Who Blamed Duplicity Created Candor.’… ‘those Who Blamed Selfishness Made Abnegation.’… ‘and Those Who Blamed Cowardice Were The Dauntless.

I Would Rather Be Dead Than Empty

My Parents Did Love Each Other. Enough To Forsake Plans And Factions. Enough To Defy “faction Before Blood.” Blood Before Faction--no, Love Before Faction, Always. - Tris Prior

It Isn’t Right To Wish Pain On Other People Just Because They Hurt Me First.

Evil Depends On Where You're Standing.

But Now, I Am Also Learning This: We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other.

How Have I Never Realized Before That For All The Strong, Kind Parts Of Him, There Are Also Hurting, Broken Parts?

His Hand Touches My Waist, Steadies Me. The Touch Sends A Shock Through My Body, And All My Insides Burn Like His Fingers Ignited Them. I Pull Close To Him, Pressing My Body Against His, And Lift My Head To Kiss Him.

I Brought You The Truth About Our City And The Reason We Are In It. If You Aren't Thanking Me For It, You Should At Least Do Something About It Instead Of Sitting Here On This Mess You Made, Pretending It's A Throne!

I Read Somewhere, One, That Crying Defies Scientific Explanation. Tears Are Only Meant To Lubricate The Eyes. There Is No Real Reason For Tear Glands To Overproduce Tears At The Behest Of Emotion. I Think We Cry To Release The Animal Parts Of Us Without Losing Our Humanity. Because Inside Of Me Is A Beast That Snarls, And Growls, And Strains Toward Freedom, Toward Tobias, And, Above All, Towards Life. And As Hard As I Try, I Cannot Kill It.

The Man Running Toward Me Is Not A Man, He Is A Boy. A Shaggy-haired Boy With A Crease Between His Eyebrows. Will. Dull-eyed And Mindless, But Still Will. He Stops Running And Mirrors Me, His Feet Planted And His Gun Up. In An Instant, I See His Finger Poised Over The Trigger And Hear The Bullet Slide Into The Chamber, And I Fire. My Eyes Squeezed Shut. Can't Breathe. The Bullet Hit Him In The Head. I Know Because That's Where I Aimed It.

We Believe That Preparation Eradicates Cowardice, Which We Define As The Failure To Act In The Midst Of Fear.

Lynn Smacks Uriah Hard In The Back Of The Head, Christina Says, “hey Tris!” And Uriah Cries, “ow! How On Earth Do You Make A Pillow Hurt, Lynn?” “my Exceptional Strength,” She Says.

I Don't Have A Bullet In My Head, Do I? So I'm Fine.

I Have To Face The Fear. I Have To Take Control Of The Situation And Find A Way To Make It Less Frightening.

I See A Few Hands Stretching Out To Me At The Edge Of The Net, So I Grabbed The First One I Could Reach And Pull Myself Across. I Roll Off, And Would Have Fallen Face-first Onto A Wood Floor If He Had Not Caught Me. "he" Is The Young Man Attached To The Hand I Grabbed. He Has A Spare Upper Lip And A Full Lower Lip. His Eyes Are So Deep-set That His Eyelashes Touch The Skin Under His Eyebrows, And They Are Dark Blue, A Dreaming, Sleeping, Waiting Color.

One Choice Can Transform You. One Choice Can Destroy You. Once Choice Will Define You.

I Was Angry With Him Before. I’m Not Really Sure Why. Maybe I Was Just Angry That The World Had Become Such A Complicated Place, That I Have Never Known Even A Fraction Of The Truth About It. Or That I Allowed Myself To Grieve For Someone Who Was Never Really Gone, The Same Way I Grieved For My Mother All The Years I Thought She Was Dead. Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And It’s Been Played On Me Twice.

Half Of Bravery Is Perspective.

Blood Is A Strange Color. It's Darker Than You Expect It To Be.

The Candor Sing The Praises Of The Truth, But They Never Tell You How Much It Costs.

You Don't Have To Tell Me Everything Right Away, But I Have To Tell You Everything Right Away? Can't You See How Stupid That Is?

Tobias And Tris

Life's Something We Already Understand. Death Is A Mystery.

It Will Be Difficult To Break The Habits Of Thinking Abnegation Instilled In Me, Like Tugging A Single Thread From A Complex Work Of Embroidery. But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

Tris: Wait. So You Have No Idea What My Aptitude Is? Tori: Yes And No. My Conclusion Is That You Display Equal Aptitude For Abnegation, Dauntless And Erudite. People Who Get This Kind Of Result Are..are Called...divergent.

All That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

You Always Look Like Someone's Sucked The Life Right Out Of You When Something Fascinates You. -tris

I Don't Want To Try To Live Up To Someone Who's Created Something So Incredible. I'm Just Trying To Focus On What I'm Doing And What I Do Best. It's Sometimes Hard To Focus In And Only Think About My Books Rather Than How They Measure Up To Someone Else's.

Sometimes I Forget That I Can Hurt You. That You Are Capable Of Being Hurt

He Touches My Face, Covering My Cheeks With His Hands, Sliding His Fingertips Down My Neck, Fitting His Fingers To The Slight Curve Of My Hips. I Can't Stop.

Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking [..] In The Eye Is A Challenge.

Four Grabs A Bar With Each Hand And Pulls Himself Up, Easy, Like He's Sitting Up In Bed. But He Is Not Comfortable Or Natural Here--- Every Muscle In His Arm Stands Out. It Is A Stupid Thing For Me To Think When I Am One Hundred Feet Off The Ground.

What's Worse: To Be Idle While Someone Dies, Or To Be Exiled And Empty-handed?

To Find That Place Between What I Want And What I Think Is Wise.

People Talk About The Pain Of Grief, But I Don't Know What They Mean. To Me, Grief Is A Devastating Numbness, Every Sensation Dulled.

It Was Him Or Me. I Chose Me. But I Feel Dead Too.

That Quality Frightens Me Now, Because I Know What He Told Me: That I Was Broken, That I Was Worthless, That I Was Nothing. How Many Of Those Things Did He Make Me Believe?

Don't You Dare Try To Apologize." His Voice Shakes. "this Is Not Something You Can Bandage With A Word Or Two And Some Hugging, Or Something.

He Gives Me A Conflicted Look And Touches His Lips To My Forehead, Right Between My Eyebrows. I Close My Eyes. I Don't Understand This, Whatever It Is. But I Don't Want To Ruin It, So I Say Nothing. He Doesn't Move; He Just Stays There With His Mouth Pressed To My Skin, And I Stay There With My Hands On His Waist, For A Long Time.

Maybe Dauntless Was Formed With Good Intentions, With The Right Ideals And The Right Goals. But It Has Strayed Far From Them. And The Same Is True Of Erudite, I Realize. A Long Time Ago, Erudite Pursued Knowledge And Ingenuity For The Sake Of Doing Good. Now They Pursue Knowledge And Ingenuity With Greedy Hearts. I Wonder If The Other Factions Suffer From The Same Problem. I Have Not Thought About It Before.

My Father Says That Those Who Want Power And Get It Live In Terror Of Losing It. That's Why We Have To Give Power To Those Who Do Not Want It.

The Theory Is That If You Spill All Your Secrets, You'll Have No Desire To Lie About Anything, Ever Again. Like The Worst About You Is Already In The Open, So Why Not Just Be Honest?

We Believe In Shouting For Those Who Can Only Whisper, In Defending Those Who Cannot Defend Themselves.

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Arthur Eddington

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