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Looks Like Someone Had A Mood Swing.” She Rolls Her Eyes. “like You Don’t Want To Know What His Fears Are. He Acts So Tough That He’s Probably Afraid Of Marshmallows And Really Bright Sunrises Or Something.

-Veronica Roth

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Looks Like Someone Had

Veronica Roth

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Looks Like Someone Had A Mood Swing.” She Rolls Her Eyes. “like You Don’t Want To Know What His Fears Are. He Acts So Tough That He’s Probably Afraid Of Marshmallows And Really Bright Sunrises Or Something.

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Well, I Already Know What Happened To My Face", I Say. "i Was There. Sort Of

And Is It Selfish Of Me To Crave Victory, Or Is It Brave?

What Thought Or Message Would You Put In A Fortune Cookie? "stop Reading This. Eat The Cookie And Live Your Life.

"you Die, I Die Too.” Tobias Looks Over His Shoulder At Me. “i Asked You Not To Do This. You Made Your Decision. These Are The Repercussions."

Learning How To Think In The Midst Of Fear Is A Lesson That Everyone Needs To Learn.

Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

I Close My Eyes. I Don't Expect Four To Reassure Me, And He Makes No Effort To, But I Feel Better Standing Here Than I Did Out There Among The People Who Are My Friends, My Faction.

Peter Leans Forward And Looks Into My Eyes. "the Serum Will Go Into Effect In One Minute," He Says. "be Brave, Tris." My Heart Begins To Race. Why Would Peter Tell Me To Be Brave? Why Would He Offer Any Kind Words At All?

We Are Not People Who Touch Each Other Carelessly; Every Point Of Contact Between Us Feels Important, A Rush Of Energy And Relief.

I Hold The Gun Out From My Body, My Arms Straight, Just As Four Taught Me, When That Was His Only Name. I Used A Gun Like This To Defend My Father And Brother From Simulation-bound Dauntless. I Used It To Stop Eric From Shooting Tobias In The Head. It Is Not Inherently Evil. It Is Just A Tool.

Did You Ever Meet Someone Named Caleb?" I Say. 'caleb," Fernando Says. "yes, There Was A Caleb In My Initiate Class. Brilliant, But He Was... What's The Colloquial Term For It? A Suck-up." He Smirks.

There Are No Safe Rooms, No Safe Truths, No Safe Secrets To Tell.

Do The Elevators Work?" I Ask Uriah, As Quietly As I Can. "sure They Do." Says Zeke, Rolling His Eyes, "you Think I'm Stupid Enough Not To Come Here Early And Turn On The Emergency Generator?" "yeah," Says Uriah. "i Kinda Do.

My Skepticism Is Strong, But My Curiosity Is Stronger.

It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

You Chose Us. Now We Have To Choose You.

Courageous? Courageous Would Have Been Admitting Weakness And Leaving Dauntless, No Matter What Shame Accompanied It. Pride Is What Killed Al, And It Is The Flaw In Every Dauntless Heart. It Is In Mine.

I Fell In Love With Him. But I Don't Just Stay With Him By Default As If There's No One Else Available To Me. I Stay With Him Because I Choose To, Every Day That I Wake Up, Every Day That We Fight Or Lie To Each Other Or Disappoint Each Other. I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

I Figured I Would Shoot The Bullets Out Of My Nostrils, So I Left [the Gun] Upstairs.

If Utopian Fiction Became The New Trend, I Wouldn't Read It.

Not Like Tobias, Who Is Almost Shy When He Smiles, Like He Is Surprised You Bothered To Look At Him In The First Place.

My Name Is Four,” I Say. “call Me ‘stiff’ Again And You And I Will Have A Problem.

I Feel The Monster Of Grief Again, Writhing In The Empty Space Where My Heart And Stomach Used To Be. I Gasp, Pressing Both Palms To My Chest. Now The Monstrous Thing Has Its Claws Around My Throat, Squeezing My Airway. I Twist And Put My Head Between My Knees, Breathing Until The Strangled Feeling Leaves Me.

People Talk About The Pain Of Grief, But I Don't Know What They Mean. To Me, Grief Is A Devastating Numbness, Every Sensation Dulled.

He Doesn’t Scowl, But His Mouth Is So Tense That I Know He’s Angry With Me. 'don’t Be An Idiot,' He Says. 'an Idiot?' Is He Talking About The Blanket? 'you Were Lying.

I Don't Know If You Know This," Tobias Says, "but Edward Is A Little Unstable." "i'm Getting That," I Say. "that Drew Guy Who Helped Peter Perform That Butterknife Maneuver," Tobias Says. "apparently When He Got Kicked Out Of Dauntless, He Tried To Join The Same Group Of Factionless Edward Was A Part Of. Notice That You Haven't Seen Drew Anywhere.

If They Told Us What To Believe, And We Didn't Come To It On Our Own, Is It Still True?

That Said, In The Two Weeks Before I Leave For The Dark Days Tour, I Am Going Radio Silent, Which Means I Will Be Avoiding The Internet At All Costs In Order To Revise, Revise, Revise. I Will Miss You. Tris Says Hi, Though.

I Have Realized That Part Of Being Dauntless Is Being Willing To Make Things More Difficult For Yourself In Order To Be Self-sufficient. There's Nothing Especially Brave About Wandering Dark Streets With No Flashlight, But We Are Not Supposed To Need Help, Even From Light. We Are Supposed To Be Capable Of Anything. I Like That. Because Their Might Come A Day When There Is No Flashlight, There Is No Gun, There Is No Guiding Hand. And I Want To Be Ready.

He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog, But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice.

He Pulls Me Over The Railing And Against His Chest, Gathering Me Into His Arms, Easing An Arm Under My Knees. I Press My Face Into His Shoulder, And There Is A Sudden, Hollow Silence.

But I Think That No Matter How Smart, People Usually See What They're Already Looking For, That's All.

I Notice, However, That Peter Only Pretends To Inject Himself—when He Presses The Plunger Down, The Fluid Runs Down His Throat, And He Wipes It Casually With A Sleeve. I Wonder What It Feels Like To Volunteer To Forget Everything.

Forget Everything

Shh,” I Say. “arms Around Me.” Obediently, He Slips Both Arms Around My Waist. I Smile At The Wall. I Am Not Enjoying This. I Am Not, Not Even A Little Bit, No.

A Chasm Reminds Us That There Is A Fine Line Between Bravery And Idiocy.

Take A Person’s Memories, And You Change Who They Are.

I Have A Theory That Selflessness And Bravery Aren't All That Different.

You've Never Had A Hamburger Before?" Asks Christine, Her Eyes Wide. "no," I Say. "is That What It's Called?" "stiffs Eat Plain Food," Four Says, Nodding At Christina. "why?" She Asks. I Shrug. "extravagance Is Considered Self-indulgent And Unnecessary." She Smirks. "no Wonder You Left." "yeah," I Say,rolling My Eyes. "it Was Just Because Of The Food." The Corner Of Four's Mouth Twitches.

I Wonder If This Is How Is Is With All Evil Men, That To Someone, They Look Just Like Good Men, Talk Like Good Men, Are Just As Likable As Good Men.

That's The First Time I've Ever Said Those Words Out Loud, And Now I Hear How Strange They Are. How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Instead Them? People Are Supposed To Fear Others, Not Themselves.

I Should Probably Be Afraid. But Instead A Hysterical Laugh Bubbles Inside Me, Because I Just Remembered Something: Maybe I Can’t Hold A Gun. But I Have A Knife In My Back Pocket.

The Serum Wears Off Five Hours Later, When The Sun Is Just Beginning To Set. Tobias Shut Me In My Room For The Rest Of The Day, Checking On Me Every Hour. This Time When He Comes In, I Am Sitting On The Bed, Glaring At The Wall. “thank God,” He Says, Pressing His Forehead To The Door. “i Was Beginning To Think It Would Never Wear Off And I Would Have To Leave You Here To … Smell Flowers, Or Whatever You Wanted To Do While You Were On That Stuff.

Oh For God's Sake. I'll Just Carry You.

No Need To Continually Insist Upon Your Unshakable Masculinity.

I Am Too Strong To Break So Easily, And I Become Better, Sharper, Every Time I Touch Him.

I Don't Have A Bullet In My Head, Do I? So I'm Fine.

But When I Do Feel All The Strength Go Out Of Me, And I Fall To My Knees Beside The Table And I Think I Cry, Then, Or At Least I Want To, And Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

And I Provide Much- Needed Eye Candy.

Do It Fast, You Pansycake.

I Settle Into Their Pace. The Uniform Pounding Of Feet In My Ears And The Homogeneity Of The People Around Me Makes Me Believe That I Could Choose This. I Could Be Subsumed Into Abnegation’s Hive Mind, Projecting Always Outward.

A Brave Man Acknowledges The Strength Of Others.

Okay. Then...i Can Talk. Ask Me Something." "okay." He Laughs Shakily In My Ear. "why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?" I Cringe And Say, "well, I...i Barely Know You. I Barely Know You And I'm Crammed Up Against You In A Box, Four, What Do You Think?"... "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor," He Says, "because You're A Terrible Liar.

That's Why You Like Me!' I Exclaim. 'because You're Not Nice Either! It Makes So Much More Sense Now.' 'come On,' He Says. 'we're Going To See Johanna.' 'i Like You, Too.' 'that's Encouraging,' He Replies Flatly. 'come On. Oh For God's Sake. I'll Just Carry You.

This Is Bizarre," I Say. "i Think It's Beautiful," He Says. I Give Him A Look. "what?" He Laughs A Little. "they Each Have An Equal Role In Government; They Each Feel Equally Responsible. And It Makes Them Care; It Makes Them Kind. I Think That's Beautiful.

I Suppose Everything Is Bound To Look Different When You Aren't On Your Way To Die.

What Did You Do, Memorize A Map Of The City For Fun?” Says Christina. “yes,” Says Will, Looking Puzzled. “didn’t You?

I Think That You Are The Liar!" I Say, My Voice Quaking. "you Tell Me You Love Me, You Trust Me, You Think I'm More Perceptive Than The Average Person. And The First Second That Belief In My Perceptiveness, That Trust, That Love Is Put To The Test, It Falls Apart." I Am Crying Now, But I Am Not Ashamed Of The Tears Shining On My Cheeks Or The Thickness Of My Voice. "so You Must Have Lied When You Told Me All Those Things... You Must Have, Because I Can't Believe Your Love Is Really That Feeble.

What Do I Believe? I Do Not Know; I Do Not Know; I Do Not Know.

Since He Saved Me From The Attack, I Have Associated His Smell With Safety, So As Long As I Focus On It, I Feel Safe Now.

Independent And Uninvolved. Must Be Nice. -tris

Because Even A Sliver Of Distance Between Us Is Infuriating.

I Feel Myself Acting Like A Lunatic, But I Can't Stop. It Would Be Like Refusing To Breathe.

Life Damages Us, Every One. We Can't Escape That Damage.

My Heart Beats So Hard It Hurts, And I Can't Scream And I Can't Breathe, But I Also Feel Everything, Every Vein And Every Fiber, Every Bone And Every Nerve, All Awake And Buzzing In My Body As If Charged With Electricity. I Am Pure Adrenaline.

It Reminds Me That No Embrace Will Ever Feel The Same Again, Because No One Will Ever Be Like Her Again, Because She's Gone. She's Gone, And Crying Feels So Useless, So Stupid, But It's All I Can Do.

But I Understand Now What Tori Said About Her Tattoo Representing A Fear She Overcame-a Reminder Of Where She Was, As Well As A Reminder Of Who She Is Now. Maybe There Is A Way To Honor My Old Life As I Embrace My New One. "yes," I Say. "three Of These Flying Birds." I Touch My Collarbone, Marking The Path Of Their Flight-toward My Heart. One For Each Member Of The Family I Left Behind.

For A Few Minutes We Kiss, Deep In The Chasm, With The Roar Of Water All Around Us. And We Rise, Hand In Hand, I Realize That If We Had Both Chosen Differently, We Might Have Ended Up Doing The Same Thing, In A Safer Place, In Gray Clothes Instead Of Black Ones.

Al Walks In, And I Don't Even Have To Ask Him To Help Me, He Just Walks Over And Strips Bedding With Me. I Will Have To Scrub The Frame Later. Al Carries The Stack Of Sheets To The Trash And Together We Walk Toward The Training Room. "ignore Him," Al Says. "he's An Idiot, And If You Don't Get Angry, He'll Stop Eventually.

Too Bad You Didn't Just Take Max Up On His Offer, Four. Well, Too Bad For You, Anyway," Says Eric Quietly As He Clicks The Bullet Into Its Chamber. My Lungs Burn; I Haven't Breathed In Almost A Minute. I See Tobias's Hand Twitch In The Corner Of My Eye, But My Hand Is Already On My Gun. I Press The Barrel To Eric's Forehead. His Eyes Widen, And His Face Goes Slack, And For A Second He Looks Like Another Sleeping Dauntless Soldier. My Index Finger Hovers Over The Trigger. "get Your Gun Away From His Head," I Say. "you Won't Shoot Me," Eric Replies. "interesting Theory. " I Say.

You Look Older.” “yes, Well. The Passage Of Time Tends To Do That To A Person.

Passage Of Time

Because There Might Come A Day When There Is No Flashlight, There Is No Gun, There Is No Guiding Hand. And I Want To Be Ready For It." (divergent Pg.138)

In The Days That Follow, It's Movement, Not Stillness, That Helps To Keep The Grief At Bay.

Beatrice," She Says. "beatrice, We Have To Run." She Pulls My Arm Across Her Shoulders And Hauls Me To My Feet. She Is Dressed Like My Mother And She Looks Like My Mother, But She Is Holding A Gun, And The Determined Look In Her Eyes Is Unfamiliar To Me.

It Reminds Me Why I Chose Dauntless In The First Place: Not Because They Are Perfect, But Because They Are Alive. Because They Are Free.

He Moves His Thumb In A Slow Circle Over The Back Of My Hand. It Is Meant To Comfort Me, But It Frustrates Me Instead. I Need To Talk To Him. I Need To Look At Him.

I Used To Think That When People Fell In Love, They Just Landed Where They Landed, And They Had No Choice In The Matter Afterward. And Maybe That's True Of Beginnings, But It's Not True Of This, Now.

And Sometimes, If You Want The Truth, You Have To Demand It.

Did You Just Call Me Beatrice?

Scrubbing The Floor When No One Else Wanted To Was Something That My Mother Would Have Done. If I Can't Be With Her, The Least I Can Do Is Act Like Her Sometimes.

I Used To Think That Cruelty Required Malice, But That Is Not True. Jeanine Has No Reason To Act Out Of Malice. But She Is Cruel Because She Doesn't Care What She Does, As Long As It Fascinates Her. I May As Well Be A Puzzle Or A Broken Machine She Wants To Fix. She Will Break Open My Skull Just To See The Inner Workings Of My Brain; I Will Die Here, And That Will Be The Merciful Thing.

Nothing Else Is All Right.” His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. “but We Are.

I Look Out The Window Again, Taking Slow, Deep Breaths Into A Body Too Tense To Move. And As I Stare Out At The Land, I Think That This, If Nothing Else, Is Compelling Evidence For My Parents’ God, That Our World Is So Massive That It Is Completely Out Of Our Control, That We Cannot Possibly Be As Large As We Feel. -tris Prior

For Someone So Small, You're Heavy, Stiff," He Mutters.

Which Means That In Order To Defeat Her, I Have To Think Of A Way To Defeat Myself. And How Can I Be A Better Fighter Than Myself, If She Knows The Same Strategies I Know, And Is Exactly As Resourceful And Clever As I Am?

Don't You Dare Try To Apologize." His Voice Shakes. "this Is Not Something You Can Bandage With A Word Or Two And Some Hugging, Or Something.

Human Reason Can Excuse Any Evil.

I Open The Door To The Fear Landscape Room And Flip Open The Small Black Box That Was In My Back Pocket To See The Syringes Inside. This Is The Box I Have Always Used, Padded Around The Needles; It Is A Sign Of Something Sick Inside Me, Or Something Brave.

How Is It I Know This Little About The Boy Who Says He Loves Me-

Your Daughter Is Doing Well Here. I've Been Overseeing Her Training." Since When Does "overseeing" Include Throwing Knives At Me And Scolding Me At Every Opportunity?

Being Honest Doesn't Mean You Say Whatever You Want, Wherever You Want. It Means That What You Choose To Say Is True.

No. Because It's So Stupid No Dauntless With Any Sense Would Speak It, Let Alone Think It. Pansycake. What Are You, Twelve?" "and A Half," He Says.

They Try To Make You Think They Care About What You Do But They Don't. They Don't Want You To Act A Certain Way. So You're Easy To Understand. So You Won't Pose A Threat To Them.

If The Dauntless Knew About This, Everyone Would Be Getting In Line To Learn How To Drive It,” He Says. “including Me.” “no, They Would Be Strapping Themselves To The Wings.” Christina Pokes His Arm. “don’t You Know Your Own Faction?

That Is Death - Shifting From "is" To "was.

Lies Require Commitment.

I Look Older. Maybe It's The Short Hair Or Maybe It's Just That I Wear All That Has Happened Like A Mask. Either Way, I Always Thought I Would Be Happy When I Stopped Looking Like A Child. But All I Feel Is A Lump In My Throat. I Am No Longer The Daughter My Parents Knew. They Will Never Know Me As I Am Now.

When You're A Teenager, Everything Seems Like The End Of The World, And I Don't Think That's Necessarily A Silly Thing. You're Waking Up And Becoming Aware That The World Has Problems And Those Problems Affect You, Whereas When You're Young They Don't Seem To Affect You That Much Even If You're Aware Of Them. This Dystopian Trend Picks Up On That Little Part Of Your Life Where Everything Feels Really Extreme And It Honors That Part Of Your Life And Says, "yeah. It Is The End Of The World. Look At It."

You Are Holding A Loaded Gun, You Idiot. Act Like It.

I Get Up, Because I’m Supposed To, But If It Were Up To Me, I’d Stay In My Seat For The Rest Of Time.

In My Own Relationships, I Know That I Should Break Up With Someone Who Doesn't Encourage Me To Be Strong And Make My Own Choices And Do What's Best In My Life, So If You're Dating Someone Who Doesn't Want You To Be The Best Person You Can Be, You Shouldn't Be Dating Them.

Cute Relationship

I Am Still The Person Who Would Have Died Rather Than Kill You

I Hear Footsteps And Four's Hands Wrap Around My Wrists. I Let Him Pry My Hands From My Eyes. He Encloses One Of My Hands Perfectly Between Two Of His. The Warmth Of His Skin Overwhelms The Ache In My Fingers From Holding The Bars. "you All Right?" He Asks, Pressing Our Hands Together. "yeah." He Starts To Laugh.

I Confessed To Tobias, Soon After That, That I Had Lost My Entire Family. And He Assured Me That He Was My Family Now. -tris Prior

I Ignore My Fear. When I Make Decisions, I Pretend It Doesn't Exist.

Eric Walks Toward Me, And I Back Away By Instinct. I Try Not To Be Afraid Of Him, But I Know How Smart He Is And That If I’m Not Careful He’ll Notice That I Keep Staring At Her, And That Will Be My Undoing.

I Know That I'll Be Writing For Young Adults For A Long Time. Mostly Because I Just Love The Readers And The Teachers And Librarians That I Interact With.

Writing Means Not Just Staring Ugliness In The Face, But Finding A Way To Embrace It.

From One Tyrant To Another. That Is The World We Know, Now

The Official Strategy Is Defensive Pessimism, Always.

All Three Combined Is...a Different Kind Of Stupid Formerly Unheard Of By Humankind.

Guilt [is] A Tool, Rather Than A Weapon Against The Self.

Cowardice Is How You Decide To Be In Real Life

Because Life Is Not Fair, Albert. And The World Is Conspiring Against You.

Before We Sit Down, He Puts His Mouth Next To My Ear And Says, “i Like Your Hair That Way.

That Our World Is So Massive That It Is Completely Out Of Our Control, That We Cannot Possibly Be As Large As We Feel.

One Piece Of Advice I Have Is: Want Something Else More Than Success. Success Is A Lovely Thing, But Your Desire To Say Something, Your Worth, And Your Identity Shouldn’t Rely On It, Because It’s Not Guaranteed And It’s Not Permanent And It’s Not Sufficient. So Work Hard, Fall In Love With The Writing — The Characters, The Story, The Words, The Themes — And Make Sure That You Are Who You Are Regardless Of Your Life Circumstances. That Way, When The Good Things Come, They Don’t Warp You, And When The Bad Things Hit You, You Don’t Fall Apart.

Falling In Love

You Don’t Believe Things Because They Make Your Life Better, You Believe Them Because They’re True.

Four Grabs A Bar With Each Hand And Pulls Himself Up, Easy, Like He's Sitting Up In Bed. But He Is Not Comfortable Or Natural Here--- Every Muscle In His Arm Stands Out. It Is A Stupid Thing For Me To Think When I Am One Hundred Feet Off The Ground.

It Isn't The Height That Scares Me - The Height Makes Me Feel Alive With Energy, Every Organ And Vessel And Muscle In My Body Singing At The Same Pitch. Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

I Read Somewhere, One, That Crying Defies Scientific Explanation. Tears Are Only Meant To Lubricate The Eyes. There Is No Real Reason For Tear Glands To Overproduce Tears At The Behest Of Emotion. I Think We Cry To Release The Animal Parts Of Us Without Losing Our Humanity. Because Inside Of Me Is A Beast That Snarls, And Growls, And Strains Toward Freedom, Toward Tobias, And, Above All, Towards Life. And As Hard As I Try, I Cannot Kill It.

Out Of My Peripheral Vision, I See Four Shove The Door Open And Walk Out. Apparently This Fight Isn't Interesting Enough For Him. Or Maybe He's Going To Figure Out Why Everything's Spinning Like A Top, And I Don't Blame Him; I Want To Know The Answer Too.

I Am Wearing A Gray Shirt, Blue Jeans, Black Shoes--new Clothes, But Beneath Them, My Dauntless Tattoos. It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices. Especially These.

Then Drew Shuffles Into The Dining Hall. I Drop My Toast, And My Mouth Drifts Open. Calling Him “bruised” Would Be An Understatement. His Face Is Swollen And Purple. He Has A Split Lip And A Cut Running Through His Eyebrow. He Keeps His Eyes Down On The Way To His Table, Not Even Lifting Them To Look At Me. I Glance Across The Room At Four. He Wears The Satisfied Smile I Wish I Had On.

I Imagine The Wave Of Water Colliding With The Rock And Spilling Over The Tile Floor, Collecting Around My Shoes. Doing A Little At Once Can Fix Something, Eventually, But I Feel Like When You Believe That Something Is Truly A Problem, You Throw Everything You Have At It, Because You Just Can’t Help Yourself.

It's Strange How Time Can Make A Place Shrink, Make Its Strangeness Ordinary.

I Try To Leave Some Space In My Mind For Things To Surprise Me Or Change My Mind, I Think That's Important.

I'll Have To Keep Looking For More Of Them, More Brief Moments Of Freedom In A World That Refuses To Allow It.

I Have A Message For The Divergent" I Am Divergent. "this Is Not A Negotiation" No, It Is Not. "it Is A Warning" I Understand. "every Two Days Until One Of You Delivers Yourself To Erudite Headquarters . . ." I Will. " . . . This Will Happen Again" It Will Never Happen Again.

You Know, There's A Word For Big, Strong Men Who Attack Women, And It's Coward.

Uriah Drops His Tray Next To Me. It Is Loaded With Beef Stew And Chocolate Cake. I Stare At The Cake Pile. “there Was Cake?” I Say, Looking At My Own Plate, Which Is More Sensibly Stocked Than Uriah’s. “yeah, Someone Just Brought It Out. Found A Couple Boxes Of The Mix In The Back And Baked It,” He Says. “you Can Have A Few Bites Of Mine.” “a Few Bites? So You’re Planning On Eating That Mountain Of Cake By Yourself?” “yes.” He Looks Confused. “why?” “never Mind.

She Smiles.her Teeth Are Crooked. If I Knocked Them Out,i Might Be Doing Her A Favor.

I Love 'harry Potter.' I'm A Huge Nerd - I Would Dress Up If I Could.

It Was Him Or Me. I Chose Me. But I Feel Dead Too.

You're The One Who Has To Live With Your Choice, Everyone Else Will Get Over It, Move On, No Matter What You Decide. But You Never Will

You Want Him To Walk?" Caleb Demands. "are You Insane?" "did I Shoot Him In The Leg?" I Say. "no. He Walks. Where Do We Go, Peter?

"i'll Be Your Family Now," He Says.

If Someone Offer You An Opportunity To Get Closer To Your Enemy, You Always Take It.

I Feel His Heartbeat Against My Cheek,as Fast As My Own. "are You Afraid Of Me, Too, Tobias?" "terrified," He Replies With A Smile.

I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest.

You Are Far Less Likely To Soil Your Pants And Cry For Your Mother If You’re Prepared To Defend Yourself.

Killing You Is Not The Worst Thing They Can Do To You," I Say. "controlling You Is.

That’s One Way Of Looking At It. I Prefer To Look At It Another Way—which Is That If They Are Persistent Enough, Even Tiny Drops Of Water, Over Time, Can Change The Rock Forever. And It Will Never Change Back.

It's Not Sacrifice If It's Someone Else's Life You're Giving Away, It's Just Evil.

She Has Been To The Compound Before. She Remembered This Hallway. She Knows About The Initiation Process. My Mother Was Dauntless.

My Problem Might Be That Even If I Did Go Home, I Wouldn’t Belong There, Among People Who Give Without Thinking And Care Without Trying.

The Truth Is... You Are Hurting Me. Not On Purpose, I Know That. But I Love You And Every Second That You Don´t Love Me Back...it Hurts.

My Body Rises With The Water. Instead Of Kicking My Feet To Stay Abreast Of It, I Push All The Air From My Lungs And Sink To The Bottom. The Water Muffles My Ears. I Feel Its Movement Over My Face. I Think About Snorting The Water Into My Lungs So It Kills Me Faster, But I Can't Bring Myself To Do It. I Blow Bubbles From My Mouth. Relax. I Close My Eyes. My Lungs Burn.

All That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

I Feel Like Someone Breathed New Air Into My Lungs. I Am Not Abnegation. I Am Not Dauntless. I Am Divergent.

I Can’t Leave Now. I Like Her Too Much. There, I Said It. But I Won’t Say It Again.

I Shift From One Foot To The Other, Trying To Get A Good Look At Him. When I Finally Do, I Look Away. His Eyes Were Already On Me, Probably Drawn By My Nervous Movement.

In 'insurgent' We Realise How Large The World Really Is

I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

I Was Born For Abegnation. I Was Planning On Leaving Dauntless, And Becoming Factionless. But Then I Met 'her', And...i Felt Like Maybe I Could Make Something More Of My Decision.

Let Me Get This Straight. So You Left The Dauntless Compound To Get Ready For War... And Took Your Makeup Bag With You?" "yep. Figured It Would Be Harder For Anyone To Shoot Me If They Saw How Devastatingly Attractive I Was.

Relax Beatrice, I've Driven A Car Before.' Marcus 'i've Done A Lot Of Things Before, But That Doesn't Mean I'm Any Good At Them!' Tris

As A Teenager, I Put A Lot Of Pressure On Myself, And A Lot Of That, For Me, Was About Finding A Moral High Ground. As I've Grown Up, I've Decided To Abandon That Because It Made Me Judgmental And Also Stressed Me Out.

Moral High Ground

I Would Be Shocked By The Lack Of Security If We Were Not At Amity Headquarters. They Often Straddle The Line Between Trust And Stupidity.

I Also Wanted To Ask You If We Can Talk To The Erudite You're Keeping Safe Here," I Say. "i Know They're Hidden, But I Need Access To Them." "and What Do You Intend To Do?" She Says. "shoot Them," I Say, Rolling My Eyes. "that Isn't Funny.

Tris.” I Keep Staring. “tris.” I Finally Look At Him. “i Just Don’t Want To Lose You.

It's Wrong," He Says. "it Doesn't Matter If Your Parents Are In A Better Place, They Aren't Here With You, And That's Wrong, Tris. It Shouldn't Have Happened. It Shouldn't Have Happened To You. And Anyone Who Tells You It's Okay Is A Liar.

What's This About Flashing Underwear?" Says Uriah, Sidestepping A Bunk. "whatever It Is, I'm In.

How Have I Never Realized Before That For All The Strong, Kind Parts Of Him, There Are Also Hurting, Broken Parts?

I Can't Tell Him I Need Him. I Can't Need Him, Period -- Or Really, We Can't Need Each Other, Because Who Knows How Long Either Of Us Will Last In This War?

Since I Was Young, I Have Always Known This: Life Damages Us, Every One. We Can’t Escape That Damage. But Now, I Am Also Learning This: We Can Be Mended. We Mend Each Other.

I Don’t Know What World You Live In, But In Mine, People Only Do Things For You For One Of Two Reasons. The First Is If They Want Something In Return. And The Second Is If They Feel Like They Owe You Something.

Sometimes Drastic Change Requires Drastic Measures.

I Suppose A Fire That Burns That Bright Is Not Meant To Last.

Beatrice. We Should Think Of Our Family. But. But We Must Also Think Of Ourselves.

But There's So Much That Was A Lie, It's Hard To Figure Out What Was True, What Was Real, What Matters.

We Are Not The Same. But We Are, Somehow, One.

I Am Collecting The Lessons Each Faction Has To Teach Me, And Storing Them In My Mind Like A Guidebook For Moving Through The World. There Is Always Somthing To Learn, Always Somthing That Is Important To Understand

All I Want Is To Become Someone New. In This Case, Tobias Johnson, Son Of Evelyn Johnson. Tobias Johnson May Have Lived A Dull And Empty Life, But He Is At Least A Whole Person, Not This Fragment Of A Person That I Am, Too Damaged By Pain To Become Anything Useful.

You May Have Succeeded In Shutting Down The Attack Simulation, Girl, But It Was By Luck Alone, Not Skill. I Would Die Of Shock If You Managed To Do Anything Useful Again For A Long Time" This Is The Marcus That Tobias Knows. The One Who Knows Right Where To Hit To Cause The Most Damage.

He Told Me Once To Be Brave, And Though I Have Stood Still While Knives Spun Toward My Face And Jumped Off A Roof, I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

I Have Something I Need To Tell You," He Says. I Run My Fingers Along The Tendons In His Hands And Look Back At Him. "i Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i'm Waiting Until I'm Sure To Tell You, Though." "that's Sensible Of You," I Say, Smiling Too. "we Should Find Some Paper So You Can Make A List Or A Chart Or Something." I Feel His Laughter Against My Side, His Nose Sliding Along My Jaw, His Lips Pressing My Ear. "maybe I'm Already Sure," He Says, "and I Just Don't Want To Frighten You." I Laugh A Little. "then You Should Know Better." "fine," He Says. "then I Love You.

I Laugh, And It's Laughter, Not Light, That Casts Out The Darkness Building Within Me, That Reminds Me I Am Still Alive, Even In This Strange Place Where Everything I've Ever Known Is Coming Apart.

Leave Her Out Of This" "why? Because You're Doing Her? Oh Wait, I Forgot. Stiffs Don't Do That Sort Of Thing

Before I Chose Dauntless...i Felt Assured Of My Long Lifespan, If Nothing Else. Now There Are No Reassurances Except That Where I Go, I Go Because I Choose To.

What Did You Do?” I Mumble. He Is Just A Few Feet Away From Me Now, But Not Close Enough To Hear Me. As He Passes Me He Stretches Out His Hand. He Wraps It Around My Palm And Squeezes. Squeezes, Then Lets Go. His Eyes Are Bloodshot; He Is Pale. “what Did You Do?” This Time The Question Tears From My Throat Like A Growl. I Throw Myself Toward Him, Struggling Against Peter’s Grip, Though His Hands Chafe. “what Did You Do?” I Scream. “you Die, I Die Too” Tobias Looks Over His Shoulder At Me. “i Asked You Not To Do This. You Made Your Decision. These Are The Repercussions.

Sometimes All I Want Is To Be A Few Inches Taller So The World Does Not Look Like A Dense Collection Of Torsos.

Inquisitiveness Is Self-serving, Johanna. -marcus Eaton

I Guess I Always Knew There Was Something Wrong With Me, But I Thought It Was Because Of My Father, Or My Mother, And The Pain They Bequeathed To Me Like A Family Heirloom, Handed Down From Generation To Generation. - Tobias Eaton

For God's Sake, Stiff," He Says. "you Don't Have To Follow Me," I Say Staring At The Maze Of Bars Above Me. I Shove My Foot Onto The Place Where Two Bars Cross And Push Myself Up, Grabbing Another Bar In The Process. I Sway For A Second, My Heart Beating So Hard I Can't Feel Anything Else. Every Thought I Have Condenses Into That Heartbeat, Moving At The Same Rhythm. "yes, I Do," He Says.

Somewhere Inside Me Is A Merciful, Forgiving Person. Somewhere There Is A Girl Who Tries To Understand What People Are Going Through, Who Accepts That People Do Evil Things And That Desperation Leads Them To Darker Places Than They Ever Imagined, I Swear She Exists, And She Hurts For The Repentant Boy I See In Front Of Me. But If I Saw Her, I Wouldn't Recognize Her.

From Your Results I Have Determined That You Are One Of The Strongest Divergent, Which I Say Not To Compliment You But To Explain My Purpose. If I Am To Develop A Simulation That Cannot Be Thwarted By The Divergent Mind, I Must Study The Strongest Divergent Mind In Order To Shore Up All Weaknesses In The Technology.

Compliments You

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

I'm Not Dauntless - I'm Divergent. I Am Whatever I Choose To Be.

Psyche You Out?" I Repeat. "i'm Your Friend. I Wouldn't Do That." He Doesn't Say Anything. I Can Tell He Doesn't Believe Me-not Quite.

There Is A Difference Between Admitting And Confessing. Admitting Involves Softening, Making Excuses For Things That Cannot Be Excused; Confessing Just Names The Crimes At Its Full Severity.

Sometimes I Forget That I Can Hurt You. That You Are Capable Of Being Hurt

Awkwardness Aside, It's Nice To Be Liked.

For Me, It Feels Like Driving From Truth Into A Lie, From Adulthood To Childhoold. I Watch The Land Of Pavement And Glass And Metal Turn Into An Empty Field. The Snow Is Falling Softly Now, And I Can Faintly See The City's Skyline Up Ahead, The Buildings Just A Shade Darker Than The Clouds.

Four: Be Brave Tris. The First Time Is Always The Hardest.

I Will Be My Undoing, If I Become My Obsession. I Will Forget The Ones I Love, If I Do Not Serve Them. I Will War With Others, If I Refuse To See Them. Therefore, I Choose To Turn Away From My Reflection, To Rely Not On Myself But On My Brothers And Sisters, To Project Always Outward Until I Disappear [and Only God Remains.]

The Cruelty Of Fate Is That I Must Travel With The People I Hate When The People I Love Are Dead Behind Me.

In Our Factions, We Find Meaning, We Find Purpose, We Find Life.

Living Without Virtues Is To Live Divorced From Society, Seperated From The Most Important Thing In Life, Community.

I Brought You The Truth About Our City And The Reason We Are In It. If You Aren't Thanking Me For It, You Should At Least Do Something About It Instead Of Sitting Here On This Mess You Made, Pretending It's A Throne!

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